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Do you still go to bars?

by Anonymousreply 5103/15/2019

Only while waiting for a table or sitting at the bar for an occasional Saturday lunch. But going to a bar and hanging out - definitely not.

by Anonymousreply 103/11/2019

No..spent enough time there for three lifetimes as a young adult

by Anonymousreply 203/11/2019

Not since I quit alcohol 27 years ago,

by Anonymousreply 303/11/2019

True. They’re loud and crowded and not at all fun if you don’t consume alcohol.

by Anonymousreply 403/11/2019

At age 41, I don't hang out in bars anymore because is seems everyone in there is 25 and it just feels awkward at my age.

by Anonymousreply 503/11/2019

I'm very selective about what bars I go to. Normally, it's more of a cabaret than a pub or bar, and I know many of the regulars and employees. My bar hopping days are way over.

by Anonymousreply 603/11/2019

I can relate R5 .

by Anonymousreply 703/11/2019

R5 at least you're self aware enough, I kinda feel bad when I see older men in clubs, I'm 22 and I'm almost done with clubbing, can't imagine being 40+ and still doing this.

by Anonymousreply 803/11/2019

r8 when I was your age and saw some 40 year-old guy in a youth-oriented bar, I would tell my friends "if I ever turn into that guy when I'm that age, please put me out of my misery." Luckily, that didn't have to happen! Like I said above, I would feel very self-conscious and awkward if I were in a bar where everybody else was 20 years younger than me.

by Anonymousreply 903/11/2019

Yes. 48 and most of the gay bars I go to have plenty of other over-40s. Maybe it depends where you live - but I have never felt or seen any judgment about over-40s in gay bars. In fact, at happy hour it seems like most are 35+.

Maybe commenters could clarify where they live and how old they are. I find it perfectly normal. Dance clubs are different - but in most major gayborhoods, gay bar happy hours are mostly older.

by Anonymousreply 1003/11/2019

What r5 said.

When I was much younger I had a thing for older men so I went to a gay bar that catered to older guys. Were they once known as wrinkle rooms? It was really just a place for older gay alcoholics to hang out.

by Anonymousreply 1103/11/2019

Less and less. When I go out, it's with friends, and if I'm out with friends, I'd rather be somewhere quiet where we can actually have a conversation.

Now a restaurant with a good drink menu or wine list, on the other hand...

by Anonymousreply 1203/11/2019

Of course. Why?

by Anonymousreply 1303/11/2019

I'm 44 and I still do, but maybe once a month or every other month. Not the 3 times a week I once did. Sometimes just nice to get out, even if you are just sitting there watching hockey (or Ru Paul or whatever) and be served a drink or two.

by Anonymousreply 1403/11/2019

R6 and I could be visiting the same place(s), I'm absolutely with all that he says.

by Anonymousreply 1503/11/2019

I was on vacation in Boston in October, and I went into a cocktail bar a couple times, just to sip a cocktail or two while I wrote up my journal. First bar I've been to for 4 or 5 years, and probably not the average bar. It was called I-Drink or something equally facile. Fairly upmarket clientele from what I could see. It was a nice place, with a good ambience and good drinks - but expensive. I enjoyed it on vacation, but it hasn't rekindled a longing for hanging around in bars.

by Anonymousreply 1603/11/2019

I should've clarified that I still go to happy hour sometimes, because it's mostly a crowd that's my demographic. That I don't mind. What I meant in my earlier posts was that I haven't done the "let's make a night of it" bar-hopping until the middle of the night because at 41 I am just too damn old for that, and it would just be ridiculous at my age.

I still enjoy a happy hour at the end of the week, but my social life has moved on from going out to bars.

by Anonymousreply 1703/11/2019

I only ever went to gay bars and not really to drink but to meet guys. Once I turned 45 I pretty much stopped going just because the crowd was too young and people were no longer into taking but looking at their phones. Im 58 now.

by Anonymousreply 1803/11/2019

Just neighborhood joints. Not “gay bars” (there are certainly plenty of gays at my neighborhood joints) and definitely not “clubs,” or anywhere where people go primarily to dance, hook-up, or binge drink.

by Anonymousreply 1903/11/2019

I stopped going to gay bars when you couldn’t go to one without seeing a bachelorette party in progress.

by Anonymousreply 2003/11/2019

When the cost of a drink went from around $10 to like $18 in a span of less than a decade, without any improvement of quality. I can pay it, but why?

by Anonymousreply 2103/11/2019

Yes, it's much cheaper to buy a bottle at the liquor store. Drink prices in bars are so obnoxious. Even beer, FFS!

by Anonymousreply 2203/11/2019

I went once: it was like being a spectator at a hunt, with humans as both the prey AND the hunters.

by Anonymousreply 2303/11/2019

I like to go to bars in the afternoon when it's quiet and sit with a book. One of my regular bars turns the TVs to Jeopardy every afternoon and the few people who are there shout out answers.

by Anonymousreply 2403/11/2019

So it sounds like the question was not “do you got to bars” but do you go out partying all night. Totally different question,

I’m assuming every one here who says they have been to a bar in years means a gay club. Do you drink at home, at straight bars, at dinner? I never drink at home and whenever I want to have a drink - usually after work or a Friday -I go to the local gay bar.

by Anonymousreply 2503/11/2019

R25, I'll have both small and large groups of friends over for dinner frequently, and we'll have wine or other drinks. I'm noticing more people in my age range doing this instead of our all-night bar-hopping in our 20s.

by Anonymousreply 2603/11/2019

[quote]Just neighborhood joints. Not “gay bars” (there are certainly plenty of gays at my neighborhood joints) and definitely not “clubs,” or anywhere where people go primarily to dance, hook-up, or binge drink.

This is me, too. I'm the "why do all gay bars play the same shitty music?" troll, and that's why.

Some owner could make a mint by having a no-attitude, no-stress rock 'n'roll gay bar night once a month. Nothing even that obscure, just Prince and Springsteen or whatever.

by Anonymousreply 2703/11/2019

Never liked them and still don't. At 77 the mold is pretty much set. I remember how awful they smelled and how silly people got with a few drinks. Now, they're even expensive. Fortunately, I don't like the taste of alcohol though I use quite a bit of wine when cooking.

by Anonymousreply 2803/11/2019

R25, I hadn't been to a bar of any kind in years until last year, and I've never been to a club in my life. I have, and do, go out for dinner with frends 1-2 times per week, and I've gone to social events at friends' houses, as well as hosted my own. I don't drink a lot, but I'm comfortable with alcohol. My ambivalence about bars comes from the ever-increasing cost, and the fact that I'm a bit deaf and generally struggle to hold a conversation in a place where there is a lot of background noise. (This was just annoying in my 20's and 30's, but has become a deal-breaker in my 40's.)

by Anonymousreply 2903/11/2019

I still go to gay bars R25, just not gay clubs. I don't live in a huge city, but there are a few to pick from. There are places like Charlie's, which is really a club at this point, and smaller joints that have karaoke and drag shows (which I'm not really into either, but I don't mind them either) - just a lot more low key.

For myself too, I'm far more inclined to go out Sunday-Wednesday, because even the most low key place turns into a mad house Thursday-Saturday.

by Anonymousreply 3003/11/2019

Was it ever socially accepted for old people to go to bars in the past? By I old I mean 40+. Which is old age in the club scene. I get the feeling things have changed fast in the past 20 years for bar/ club culture thanks to the internet, online chats and social media, and it's not cool anymore. It used to be.

Bars are no fun anymore when you're over 30. You cannot smoke, you're to hook up. They look at you as if you're alien and young people hate older people (don't lie about it ) and don't want to be seen nor interact with them, esp not in their bar.

by Anonymousreply 3103/11/2019

Of course R31. Huge difference between a club and a bar. One of my favorite bars in Phoenix (which closed last year) was a gay sports bar and the crowd was almost exclusively 35+ (except perhaps Friday and Saturday nights). All depends on the place.

by Anonymousreply 3203/11/2019

I am living in Key Largo and sometimes hit up a happy hours, get something to eat, watch the sunset and listen to music. Down here it's mostly older people (40 +)

by Anonymousreply 3303/11/2019

This whole thing confuses me - MOST of the people in my local gay bar are older. Young gays don’t even go to gay bars anymore. The eldergays are the ones keeping the gay bars alive. Maybe it’s different in small town gay bars - which may be what is confusing me - as people seem to be using “bars” and “clubs” interchangeably when in my city, they are totally different things and totally different scenes / ages.

by Anonymousreply 3403/11/2019

I'm way more likely to go to gay bars when traveling or visiting another city than here in my own city. I'm currently in a 'been there, done that' mood with regard to all of the gay bars here.

by Anonymousreply 3503/11/2019

Its the internet 34

by Anonymousreply 3603/13/2019


by Anonymousreply 3703/13/2019

never did --I don't drink. It killed my gay social life when I was younger

by Anonymousreply 3803/13/2019

Occasionally. I live in Brooklyn and we have some lovely pubs and very cool cocktail bars near our apartment. My partner and I go out once a week - usually a Saturday - to have a drink and then go out for dinner. After, there is a live music venue with genius jazz and funk so we will go there to have a nightcap.

But that's it. We don't go to gay bars or anything like that anymore. We did go to The Gym bar in Chelsea a few months ago on a Saturday night and it was like Romper Room. Everyone was 25. We looked ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 3903/13/2019

Yes, Gym Bar is young now.

by Anonymousreply 4003/13/2019

Also, part of what has hurt gay bars is there are more ways to meet other gay men than just bars. If you're in a larger city, there are gay meetups and groups for pretty much any hobby under the sun. I mean, I like the occasional drink or to go out dancing, but sometimes you want to meet guys with similar interests.... in daylight hours.

by Anonymousreply 4103/13/2019

Yes, often, but usually there’re hotel bars. Even in my own city, I enjoy hotel bars.

by Anonymousreply 4203/13/2019

weekend day drinking and happy hour sometimes. Fridays/Saturday nights at the gay bars i try to avoid unless it's a bar that skews a little older like the Eagle (i'm 39).

by Anonymousreply 4303/13/2019

When people say “club” do they mean gay dance club?

I live in NYC and would be hard pressed to name a “club.” There’s dancing at Industry and the Ritz, for example, but I think of those primarily as bars.

Don’t clubs usually charge a cover?

by Anonymousreply 4403/13/2019

No. There are no gay bars in Vermont.

by Anonymousreply 4503/13/2019

Wow! R34, I wish I lived in your area!

by Anonymousreply 4603/14/2019

R46 - I would say it’s true in NY, SF, Philly. Not sure about Chacgo. Odd that it seems LA is different - I think because it is so ageist / lookist . It’s one city where I feel very conspicuous as a 49 year old guy in a gay bar. One of the problems with LA - constant judgment based on looks, wealth and conspicuous consumption.

by Anonymousreply 4703/15/2019

You nailed it, r47.

by Anonymousreply 4803/15/2019

I only go to bars now to have fun with friends. Having a great partner, I have no need to pick up men anymore.

This is way better than going to bars and hoping to attract men

by Anonymousreply 4903/15/2019

Occasionally to meet a client/potential client for a drink, usually a hotel bar which is quieter and 80% of the time I'll have a club soda anyway since I rarely drink, especially on an empty stomach.

But other than that, R5 nailed it perfectly.

by Anonymousreply 5003/15/2019

"Odd that it seems LA is different - I think because it is so ageist / lookist . It’s one city where I feel very conspicuous as a 49 year old guy in a gay bar. One of the problems with LA - constant judgment based on looks, wealth and conspicuous consumption."

I would disagree about NY. Its VERY ageist/lookist. Go to any gay bar on a Thursday night and its packed with skinny, very young gay guys. And though I don't go to the West Hollywood bars, places like The Eagle IMHO are not ageist at all. It gets crowded with all ages of guys - most over 35.

by Anonymousreply 5103/15/2019
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