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DL help me figure out why some gays like the dom/sub degrading thing?

I don't understand the appeal of either degrading someone or letting someone degrading you. How is that sexually gratifying? It's fine for 1 person to "lead the way" during sex but for 1 guy to call the other insulting names or do insulting acts (like spitting, slapping, forcefully moving etc) is not only a turnoff but disgusting.

Then there's the whole thing of some gays getting off on being called misogynistic and homophobic insults.

What is the psychology of these guys like?

Just 1 example-here are 2 guys you can see both their pages have more content. The sub is getting fisted and referring to his gaping anus as a "pussy". At 1 point they talk about him being "daddy's good girl" and he has 1 of those weird cages over dick

by Anonymousreply 117Last Tuesday at 2:10 PM

[quote]How is that sexually gratifying?

How is anything sexually gratifying? The psychological reasoning behind it is irrelevant; it gets them going and that's all there is to it. Most of the world can't wrap its head around me putting my dick up another man's ass. So we should be the last people judging others for - what we personally perceive - as weird sexual choices. Just follow your bliss, whatever (consensual) form it happens to take.

by Anonymousreply 103/04/2019

He’S cumming without touching himself. Impressive.

by Anonymousreply 203/04/2019

"Dick cages" are a worse idea than smegmatrons.

by Anonymousreply 303/04/2019

What I don't understand is why these people want it on the internet for anybody in the world who has a computer or smartphone to see.

The guy is very handsome and I imagine his parents, relatives and friends wondering what the hell is he thinking. And if he has or gets a job? Not the act itself. If you like being fisted ok. But the filming and posting. Is he horribly emotionally damaged?

by Anonymousreply 403/04/2019

I've seen more of this D/s stuff among straights than gays.

Most of the subs I met were histrionic, attention seeking. What they want from their "sex" (it needs to be in quotes because it isn't really sex) is lots of focused attention in the form of role-play, props, dirty talk - focused on them and their desires.

I found the sex with these guys to be mediocre. They have a tendency to promise you things sexually to get you hooked in, then manipulate or fail to deliver at all. Often the list of kinks/demands expands rapidly with successive assignations, to the point the whole thing becomes bewildering and exhausting. I don't do kink anymore.

by Anonymousreply 503/04/2019

I sort of agree with you R4, but only to a limited extent. People are putting this stuff on sex websites. Anybody who sees the vid is guilty by implication for having seen the video themselves, which means they're going to keep their mouth shut. You don't find this stuff on Facebook.

by Anonymousreply 603/04/2019

Because dear op, the sexual arousal part of the brain is conneted to the aggression part of the brain. Depends on how you are wiref, Being humilated trigger endangered, survival state of human which connected to arousal. Or you could be dom and crank up yhe amygdala which also cnnected to sexual arousal

by Anonymousreply 703/04/2019

We all were children. You know children are going to find it and spread it around. I'm sure they are already doing it. I don't have children and aren't around any so I have no idea how parents are coping with this. Look what Uncle Matthew is doing!

by Anonymousreply 803/04/2019

And I wouldn't be surprised if mentally ill teens and adults are showing it to kids.

by Anonymousreply 903/04/2019

Mental illness and self loathing is real. Most people who participate in this are ugly and have gross skin flaps and assnee.

by Anonymousreply 1003/04/2019

Have a Jesus Juice and relax.

by Anonymousreply 1103/04/2019

That guy is really gorgeous.

Sad he'll be dead in a year from sepsis or a perforated bowel.

by Anonymousreply 1203/04/2019

This will explain everything for you.

by Anonymousreply 1303/04/2019

It’s daddys pussy. 🙀🙀🙀

by Anonymousreply 1403/04/2019

That guy's Twitter feed is quite something.

by Anonymousreply 1503/04/2019

Dom/sub is not a gay thing. It is just a kink some people are into, whether they are straight, gay or bi.

by Anonymousreply 1603/04/2019

[quote]gays getting off on being called misogynistic and homophobic insults and referring to his gaping anus as a "pussy".

It’s all transgender, OP. There lots and lots of gay men who are actually transgender and not gay at all. They are emotionally women. They are sexually women. They don’t see themselves as men, they don’t see gay men as men. They see themselves and out gay men as female. They refer to their body parts as female. Regardless of what they do or say to claim otherwise call you slurs, names or get personal with attacks, that’s fine, but at the end of the day, they are transgender. Just like gay men who claim to be straight, they can call themselves a tree, but that’s not the truth. They are trans. That is who they are authentically. Psychiatrists should look into this bevhavior and encourage this behavior as treatment for gay men who want to alter their physical and physiological attributes with drugs and surgery. They should encourage the gay man’s pathologic need to call their recal area a “pussy” and their need to be sexually and romantically linked to straight men alone not gay men at all (as gay men are “women”. This is a better option and safer for children rather than loading them with hormones and removing body parts. Encouraging the illusion and fantasy of living as a woman is a better option, and, what appears to be very fulfilling.

by Anonymousreply 1703/04/2019

[quote]Or you could be dom and crank up yhe amygdala which also cnnected to sexual arousal

Oh, dear!

by Anonymousreply 1803/04/2019

Yeah! We were wondering the same thing.

by Anonymousreply 1903/04/2019

Sex is rape.

by Anonymousreply 2003/04/2019

OP will next ask us to explain L'esprit de l'escalier.

Really. Must we serve such brain dead trolls who show ZERO critical thinking?

by Anonymousreply 2103/04/2019

“Everything is about sex. Except sex, sex is about power.”

It’s arousing to have control over someone. For them to focus solely on your sexual gratification instead of their own etc.

by Anonymousreply 2203/04/2019

He's actually quite cute. I, too, have thought about what happens to people like this who post their sexual exploits online and show their faces (I'm sure lot of amateur porn folks don't), but someone did bring up a good point. Why would you go out of your way to expose him? If you're looking up videos under the tags "fisting", "daddy's pussy", or "moist mussy" or some shit, how would you even explain how you'd found it in the first place? LOL! They'd think you were a freak, too. I wonder how many of these amateur porn stars actually get exposed due to that reason.

by Anonymousreply 2303/04/2019

Some bottoms seem inclined to move on to extreme S&M activities such as fisting. One former top boyfriend of mine kept encouraging me to try bigger dildos and then fisting but that was too far a stretch for me (pun intended). I was game for game for some of the more extreme dildos but would never allow myself to get to the larger fisting size ones or fisting itself. It would ruin your rectum and sphincter forever. I heard he later did hook up with fisting bottoms, so I was probably his transitional bottom.

Porn star Devin Franco has recently started appearing in fisting videos.

by Anonymousreply 2403/04/2019

Why would you come to a gay forum to learn about BDSM?

by Anonymousreply 2503/04/2019

Is this a thread designed to root out the fraus?

What a bunch of uptight queens you are!

by Anonymousreply 2603/04/2019

My man tried to put two fingers in me this weekend and I had to stop him... The idea of two fingers made me think of fisting, which was a total turn off mentally.

by Anonymousreply 2703/04/2019

It's a scene of mild, tender fisting. It's hardly in the "sub/dom" domaine.

by Anonymousreply 2803/04/2019

OP= Lindsey Graham

by Anonymousreply 2903/04/2019

He has a lovely hole. Hope it doesn't get too worn out. I might be crazy, but does he look like a really skinny version of Henry Cavill a bit?

by Anonymousreply 3003/04/2019

The bottoms often don't come, for some reason. Maybe the act of complete submission is more gratifying that the release of orgasm. Drugs are often involved, which also impacts climax.

I always figure these people had aggressive or abusing parenting or schooling which they later fetishized.

by Anonymousreply 3103/04/2019

I'm LITERALLY certain 99% of bottom fistees are 3rd or 4th generation Lebensborn raised by alcoholic drug addicted satan worshipping commie pinko or fascist parents in pedophile cult situations. Right?

by Anonymousreply 3203/04/2019

The other 1% are blueblood brits, produced by kinky Public School culture.

by Anonymousreply 3303/04/2019

I can’t think of anything more disgusting. Freaks.

by Anonymousreply 3403/04/2019

And lets not start on the Swedes. DIRTY SEXUAL PEOPLE

by Anonymousreply 3503/04/2019

It's not a gay thing, OP. It's people. Some women and men, regardless of whether they are gay, straight or other, live the dom/sub thing.

by Anonymousreply 3603/04/2019

Which is not pictured in the OP's video.

by Anonymousreply 3703/04/2019

[quote] Sex is rape.

Why, the minute his.....his thing erupted with all those.....those juices everywhere, why, I had to take a Brillo pad into the shower to scrub it off of me!

Hmmph!

by Anonymousreply 3803/04/2019
by Anonymousreply 3903/04/2019

The black guy fisting him is kinda hot, too. I usually find this kind of stuff repulsive, but I guess give me the right couple and it's suddenly hot.

by Anonymousreply 4003/04/2019

The more we learn about trans, the more we’ll learn that these men are trans.

by Anonymousreply 4103/04/2019

People who aren't into BDSM are pussies.

by Anonymousreply 4203/04/2019

More than that, why is this all on Twitter? I thought porn or anything resembling porn was verboten. Or is that just IG and FB?

by Anonymousreply 4303/04/2019

why do you care? live and let live.

by Anonymousreply 4403/04/2019

They better not think of doing that horrible sex act on my good bed spread.

by Anonymousreply 4503/04/2019

Mikey D is HOT.

by Anonymousreply 4603/04/2019

Mikey D is beautiful.

And clearly suicidal.

by Anonymousreply 4703/04/2019

Any child with a smart phone can find this stuff. It's not hard. Jesus you people are dim. Oh well if somebody finds this stuff then they are looking and are too ashamed to admit it!

That's not how it works with computers. Only in your dreams.

by Anonymousreply 4803/04/2019

A child with a smart phone has a miniscule chance of encountering porn of somebody he knows. You are exaggerating the likelihood. And yes, any adult who finds fisting vids of somebody he knows is going to be afraid to talk about it because they are guilty by association. Unless of course the world suddenly embraces fisting.

by Anonymousreply 4903/04/2019

It's a paraphilia or paraphilic disorder.

by Anonymousreply 5003/04/2019

R49 you never traded pornographic pictures as a kid? Also I remember a teenage girl saying 'I learned about sex like everyone else my age, on the internet.' These are not kids going into porn shops or buying or renting porn videos. It is in their hands available all the time. Adults are really dumb despite their own prurient and macabre interests as a child. We've got adults, at least I hope they are adults, on DL complaining when people post photos of violence or dead people without warnings. Most recently the dead John Lennon.

by Anonymousreply 5103/05/2019

slapping your anus 100 times? sad

by Anonymousreply 5203/09/2019

OP, you don’t have to pretend you’re “trying to figure out” why some guys like it. You’re obviously turned on by it.

by Anonymousreply 5303/09/2019

OP, why are you even watching this? Nasty! 🤮

by Anonymousreply 5403/09/2019

Man and woman are biological categories and have no implication in feelings. Men and women experience the same feelings R17

by Anonymousreply 5503/09/2019

I thought I was the only one who disliked this which is so present in gay porn.

Obviously, those men have grown up eroticising unhealthy conceptions about sex.

by Anonymousreply 5603/15/2019

I'd like some of daddy's pussy.

by Anonymousreply 5703/15/2019

In a way it’s not surprising given the many negative uses of the word fuck, in a non-sexual context.

by Anonymousreply 5803/15/2019

This guy is so damaged that his gorgeous good looks are totally wasted. Daddy's pussy? What is he a toddler with a dirty mouth? Seeing his intestines trying to escape his abuse? Jesus what was his home life like growing up? I didn't think I could be disgusted by somebody so my type.

by Anonymousreply 5903/15/2019

Speaking as a bottom myself, being topped by a bigger guy feels good, the feeling of him laying on top conveys a feeling of protection and, protection is usually sexually desirable and also strengthen romantic bonds. Even if the guy is not really big but if he is able to convey a message of leadership you still get that idea of protection. I believe this is the healthy way sub/dom works.

For men who equate the dominant role with aggression they certainly have a psychological issue.

by Anonymousreply 6003/17/2019

Wow, that Mikey D is totally fucked up in the head. Sad.

by Anonymousreply 6103/17/2019

He's really cute and I'm actually pleasantly surprised by how pretty his hole is considering all the abuse it takes. Maybe he just recently got into fisting and it takes a few years to show the wear and the tear?

by Anonymousreply 6203/17/2019

It's not just a gay thing. BDSM is a universal thing.

by Anonymousreply 6303/17/2019

I remember I hooked up with a handsome brazilian guy once. But during sex he started choking me, which was so unexpected. I had to kick him in the balls to get him off of me. Still think he might have been some DL serial killer. It really freaked me out. He told me choking guys turned him on. Couldn’t leave his place fast enough. I would never get involved with bdsm guys, I think they all have deep psychological issues.

by Anonymousreply 6403/17/2019

Mikey D is a national treasure and his face should be on Mount Rushmore along with the Wrigleyville Cumdump.

by Anonymousreply 6503/17/2019

You homos with your obsession with bondage and humiliation revolt me.

by Anonymousreply 6603/17/2019

Hmmm...No.

by Anonymousreply 6703/17/2019

Can an stretched butthole be restored surgically back to normal?

by Anonymousreply 6803/20/2019

I cannot figure that picture out, it freaks me out.

by Anonymousreply 6903/20/2019

Some of us grow up with the belief that being of service is one's highest goal and highest virtue. But it creates a submissive who begs to be of service and gets satisfaction out of pleasing others while being perfectly fine with pushing his own needs and dignity aside in order to satisfy someone else.

Then some grow into insecure people who feel powerless by default and need to affirm they have value (and power) by bossing others around, establish a superior vs. inferior dynamic, take other people's power and claim it as his own, etc.

by Anonymousreply 7003/20/2019

OP you don't need to figure it out, what other people are into sexually is none of your business as long as they are adults and it is consensual. Btw, animals and children can not give legal consent.

Trying to explain any type of fetish to someone who doesn't have that fetish is impossible since you don't share the fetish. All you need to know is that what ever the fetish, the people who are into it find it sexually arousing. For some sexual arousal is not possible without the fetish, and if you are expecting people to forgo sexual arousal because you can't figure it out, you are out of luck.

by Anonymousreply 7103/20/2019

Some people are just very fucked up Op and sadly a lot of that damage manifests itself as deviant sexual behavior.

by Anonymousreply 7203/21/2019

omg his newest crazy thing...he stuck an entire very fat purple eggplant up his ass

literally an emoji coming to life

by Anonymousreply 73Last Saturday at 9:56 PM

Because you get exactly what you want.

Extreme pleasure. Intensified.

by Anonymousreply 74Last Saturday at 9:57 PM

So, this thread is just porn Spam, right?

The bitch in the OP's video is PHINE as PHUCK!!!

by Anonymousreply 75Last Saturday at 10:05 PM

I had this young client (not the norm) who liked to wear one of those cock cages in OP's photo. It was the first time I had ever seen one. He like erotic massage with the cage on and then very sensual touching/licking/bfe, but I was instructed that he must not cum. He said he tried to not to ejaculate for months and that the build up was more arousing than the actual orgasm. The longer he held off apparently the more he stayed in a constant state of arousal. This sounds terrible to me. The second time he hired me, I kind of got into the whole thing and took the cage of to really try to tease him. He had a massive dick and within a few minutes of touching, he came. He was nice, but I could tell he was pissed off. That was my last session w/ him. To each their own. I like to cum a couple of times a day. He also said he wore the cock cage most of the time and you can pee with it on if you are sitting down, which sounds messy.

by Anonymousreply 76Last Sunday at 8:06 AM

It’s about power, one wanting to be in charge, the other to give up all autonomy and be controlled. This creates an arousing state for both and pushing it to the extreme is the ultimate pleasure.

by Anonymousreply 77Last Sunday at 8:56 AM

I'm serious here - how does this guy's hole still look fairly normal? You'd think after taking fists and eggplants all day, it would look like hamburger meat like you see on so many other guys who are into this stuff. Is there a trick to keeping your hole tight after doing this stuff or does it take a few years worth of wear and tear to start looking nasty?

by Anonymousreply 78Last Sunday at 9:28 AM

The right morning regimen keeps things tight and pink R78

by Anonymousreply 79Last Sunday at 9:32 AM

Makin' her tootie whistle

by Anonymousreply 80Last Sunday at 9:39 AM

Internalised homophobia has alot to do with it i.e subs feeling they need to be punished for being gay which can be seen in the discourse used durring these types of sexual encounters, the sub for example uses language like “punish me” “I’m dirty” and doms feel like subs deserve to be punished for being gay which can be seen not only in their actions such as angy, hateful sex and wanting to cause pain during sex as well as shown in their discourse for example the use of homophobic and derogatory language “fag” , “slut”, “whore”.

by Anonymousreply 81Last Sunday at 9:55 AM

It's no more prevalent among gays than it is among straights, OP. Your question is homophobic.

by Anonymousreply 82Last Sunday at 10:00 AM

I'm also shocked by how damn pretty this slut's hole is. Did he just recently start taking large objects or something?

by Anonymousreply 83Last Sunday at 10:14 AM

R81 that makes sense except, wouldn't doms also feel they need to be punished since they're fucking another guy? Either giving or receiving with another man, they're both still gay

by Anonymousreply 84Last Sunday at 10:15 AM

Tops can always rationalize that they're more manly than bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 85Last Sunday at 10:20 AM

Exactly a distorted sense of masculinity has alot to do with how doms present themselves and behave.

by Anonymousreply 86Last Sunday at 10:37 AM

so in their eyes you're only "really gay" if you bottom? lol how ancient Greek/Roman of them.

by Anonymousreply 87Last Sunday at 10:40 AM

Shame can mess with your head and instead of working through it and expressing their feelings (even the negative ones) in healthy ways they often end up going down an unhealthy spiral of drugs, unprotected sexual encounters and putting themselves in dangerous situations that can lead to rape, overdose or in some rare cases murders.

by Anonymousreply 88Last Sunday at 10:55 AM

What I don’t get is this whole findom stuff? At least there’s some sexual gratification in the traditional arrangement.

by Anonymousreply 89Last Monday at 5:02 AM

Inserting vegetables into the ass is not for amateurs. If your unsupple unblown-out ass clamps and breaks it, you're in trouble with a vegetable in your ass.

by Anonymousreply 90Last Monday at 5:23 AM

I don't think the sphincter is powerful enough to crush a vegetable. If that were the case, we'd have a lot of people going into the ER with broken dicks from encounters with insanely tight bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 91Last Monday at 9:47 AM

It's definitely not powerful enough to snap a vegetable (or dick) in half, but if the hole is hungry enough, it'll suck that vegetable (or anything else that's not attached to a person or glued to something else) right up the ass and you will have to go to an ER to get it out. You'd be shocked by how common that is. I have a friend who worked in an emergency room and she told me there were at least a handful of those cases every week.

by Anonymousreply 92Last Monday at 9:49 AM

Sometimes you just want to smack a guy around.

by Anonymousreply 93Last Monday at 9:53 AM

And why’s that R93? Because you hate them? Hate yourself?

by Anonymousreply 94Last Monday at 9:56 AM

this might sound dumb, but how is there room inside your body to insert a big fat eggplant like that? Is there really that much space inside of us?

by Anonymousreply 95Last Monday at 9:59 AM

[quote]I have a friend who worked in an emergency room and she told me there were at least a handful of those cases every week.

If that's not an indicator of the overall shortage of tops, then what is?

by Anonymousreply 96Last Monday at 10:01 AM

R96, I just howled.

by Anonymousreply 97Last Monday at 10:02 AM

This explains the current eggplant shortage.

by Anonymousreply 98Last Monday at 10:51 AM

Bottom who like to be mistreated by tops don't suffer from internalised homophobia or shame. The problem is that they have eroticised a distorted idea of masculinity which what they are looking for. They think things like aggression define masculinity. I would agree that perhaps deprivation of normal sexual interaction with men has shaped and distorted their sexual desires.

by Anonymousreply 99Last Monday at 12:02 PM

They are working through their shame in a hot way.

by Anonymousreply 100Last Monday at 4:14 PM

If you find rape “hot” then I am very sorry for you.

by Anonymousreply 101Last Monday at 5:23 PM

Dom/sub is permission-based. No raping.

by Anonymousreply 102Last Monday at 5:31 PM

R101 is projecting. What is swirling around that dirty little mind of xis?

by Anonymousreply 103Last Monday at 5:33 PM

Sex is Dirty and Degrading. . . . only when it's done right!

by Anonymousreply 104Last Monday at 5:41 PM

I wish I worked in an ER just so I could spend time in ending outlandish stories that would morph into urban legends that I could beam with pride at hearing years later.

I would definitely include eggplant seeds taking root in the rectum.

Even after extraction, the nightmare isn’t over.

by Anonymousreply 105Last Monday at 5:47 PM

Degrading behaviour is over represented across the whole spectrum of gay porn.

by Anonymousreply 106Last Monday at 5:56 PM

Chastity cages are more popular and common now.

by Anonymousreply 107Last Monday at 5:56 PM

R102 permission or not, the degrading acts used in this type of sexual situation is based apon rape culture which like R106 said is overrepresented in porn, derogatory and degrading porn dehumanises us and creates the culture where simulated rape is accepted which can easily turn into real rape.

by Anonymousreply 108Last Tuesday at 12:00 PM

Where can I get one of those Chasity cages? I want to lock up my boyfriend.

by Anonymousreply 109Last Tuesday at 12:10 PM

Unclutch, r108. It’s a porn fantasy between two consenting adults. Nothing more. Porn is not reality, nor does it influence people any more than straight porn would influence me to have sex with a woman.

by Anonymousreply 110Last Tuesday at 12:22 PM

R110 beat me to it. I had the same thing typed up and was about to hit reply when his post popped up.

by Anonymousreply 111Last Tuesday at 12:23 PM

R111, I’ll tell you this, after watching that clip, my post wasn’t the only thing that popped up.

by Anonymousreply 112Last Tuesday at 12:29 PM

These sub guys make their fetish their entire lives so unless you're prepared to accommodate them stay away.

by Anonymousreply 113Last Tuesday at 12:35 PM

Please welcome to the stage: CHASTITY CAGE

by Anonymousreply 114Last Tuesday at 12:38 PM

R109, From the apt named website lockthecock.com.

by Anonymousreply 115Last Tuesday at 12:50 PM

I just ordered a cage. When it arrives I will lock my boyfriend up. he will love it.

by Anonymousreply 116Last Tuesday at 1:03 PM

[quote]I just ordered a cage. When it arrives I will lock my boyfriend up. he will love it.

Pics please!

by Anonymousreply 117Last Tuesday at 2:10 PM
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