What is it when you don't miss your partner?

this happens to me too, lately. I Think this is what "adult" love looks like. i'm 42.

Move along, OP ...............

I love him, but he snores so I'm actually able to sleep when he travels.

This is probably the best that love is. I hate when I hear these fake couples "Oh my god, I can't stand it when he's gone." etc. I call bullshit. Numerous couples who say that over-the-top crap break up soon - no surprise.

I think that is love. If it's something so much greater, it only exists in Disney films.

Just enjoy what you have. Don't overthink it. I had the same thing once, and fucked it up.

It's good enough, and sounds better than what 80% of the population will probably ever have.

it means you're a bitch

It’s called living your life.

Ummmm R4, I love it when I'm with my partner (together 17 years so maybe that's a factor?). When I have a day off I wish he could too so we could do things together.

R4 how long have you been together.

That happens to me as well, but it's sort of natural when you've been together for 15 years, as in our case. He goes away for a couple of days to visit his family or for work and, honestly, I actually enjoy those couple of days off. I'm on my own schedule, if I feel like making something for dinner that he doesn't enjoy, I can do that, if I feel like watching something on TV he doesn't care about, I can do that, plus, it's kind of nice being alone with your own thoughts every once in a while.

It seems normal to me, op.

Don't overthink it and don't compare yourself to what you think other people are feeling or doing. If you're both happy with the arrangement, that's all that matters.

If he were gone for good, you would grieve from time to time but your situation is different. Some of us need some time alone and enjoy it.

It’s healthy. Feeling like he “needs” to be around is called co-dependency.

This is probably a good thing. I really don't think anyone is wired to be around the same people 24/7. It's bound to drive anyone nuts. Granted, there are the clingy types who must be around people all the time, but I've never understood them. Is it really THAT bad to pick up some dinner and eat it alone in your apartment/house while watching TV? To me, that sounds like a heavenly evening.

My partner is definitely the more clingy one in the relationship and hates when I'm gone, but I enjoy having a little time to myself or with other people.

I think it helps that, one time, he wouldn't answer his phone or texts for almost an entire day and I started freaking out, thinking something terrible had happened to him. Guess that means I must really love him.

I think it's a sign of a secure, confident relationship.

I agree with R15. You do need space from each other sometimes. It's healthy. We have this idea in our culture that two people are supposed to merge into one. It's unrealistic and harmful. You shouldn't feel something missing when he's gone - you're your own person. If you enjoy your time together, laugh a lot and still have great sex, you're doing everything right.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. At the beginning of the year, I moved to a different part of the country for a career opportunity so we are currently managing a long-distance relationship. We knew it would be tough, and boy oh boy it definitely is. It's just hard when you count on that sort of everyday emotional support, not to mention the physical aspect of a relationship - not just the sex but just the everyday physical contact and affection. I can go days now without touching another person (other than a handshake or whatever) and I miss it.

I know that's not the exact topic of this thread, but this is just to say that I used to be somewhat like OP's description - I'd like it on occasion when he was gone for a few days, nice to have the house to yourself, etc. But it's easy to take that kind of absence for granted and even enjoy it when you know it's only a couple days until you see him again.

(Our current situation should work itself out in the next year or so, but in the moment it's pretty tough. I haven't seen him for more than a week and it's still a full week until I'll see him again. Ugh.)

[quote]What is it when you don't miss your partner?

Over?

Same here R17. We both travel a lot for work and live apart part time. Being around him always ensures I don’t get stuck in a rut in my head. He always cheers me up when I’m with him. I also find there is a little adjustment period when we get back together after a few weeks apart. Like after a day, there is irritability which dissipates after 3-4 days.

OP--your relationship sounds OK/fine to me. Some people just enjoy solitude sometimes. The no snoring part alone sounds like something to appreciate.