Grifter weddings

-5/10

I would pay the $50 for the VIP package and skip on giving a gift.

That seems fair.

Tuh-rashy! I would send them a $40 coupon for Bennigans.

Yes, if you’re paying, skip the gift

Agree, R2 and R4.

Do most couples not get that attending *any* wedding is a chore to begin with?

These precious little princesses need to get over themselves - the'll be divorced in a couple of years and planning yet another wedding. These primadonna bitches need to stop being so selfish and self absorbed.

I'm available!

If I pay $75, can I get 30 minutes alone with the groom?

Sick of these assholes and their silly weddings.

Go old school, pay by cheque then cancel the cheque

The world of heterosexuals is a sick and boring life.

Op, Your cousin's daughter has other modern gift-giving ideas planned for the tables' centerpieces: Money Trees

It would be nice to go back to the weddings of my youth, which were a piece of cake, a cup of punch from the church's crystal punch bowl, and a tiny fluted cup of mixed nuts.

Ridiculous - as if this is an event that people are dying to see. It's a wedding - they are really all the same.

I'd be offended if I saw this. Of course they will say - well no one is FORCING you to do the VIP. That's not the point prince and princess!

Let's bring back shaming - which has been given a bad rap lately. More shame is needed.

I'm not a psychic, but I see many empty VIP tables and one angry bride at this wedding. Please take a video of this disaster and post it where we can review (and later comment) the aftermath.

No this is not normal. All the food and drink at a wedding should be complementary. If you can't afford a lot of food and beverages, then have your wedding mid afternoon and keep the reception short. Also keep the guest list short. The only VIPs at weddings are the close family members and wedding party. Otherwise all guests are equal. Real VIPs don't typically pay extra at any venue, if anything they get comped because they are important.

Paying for an event no one wants to go to? It’s not a root canal. At least you’d be better off after that.

$50 is less than what you would spend on the gift. So it is a bargain.

It's 50 bucks per person = 100 bucks to sit at a VIP table.

As if -

But it's MY DAY!!!!

Trashy and tacky - but admittedly a novel idea to reduce wedding costs.

Do the VIP tables come with extra legroom and priority pre-boarding?

Weddings in general are outre. They feel like a throwback to a hermetically-sealed time.

Elope, already!

I would pay $50 to not have to attend a wedding in the first place. I went to 3 last year and I am done with standing around bored, hungry and fending off small talk from boring assholes. No more, I say.

Do you have to pay extra for the donut wall?

I don't go to weddings except the nearest family. It's not as if I'm going to get married.

-100000/10

If they are that desperate for money, why doesnt the bride charge the male guests $50 to cum on her

That "complimentary bottle of champagne at each table" will probably have a twist-off cap or plastic cork.

I could see friends chipping in 50 bucks each to pay for a broke couples wedding instead of a gift. Then it would be an act of friendly collective charity and acknowledged as such. Instead of this phony VIP privilege of sitting next to the couple. I'm glad I don't know these people.

I simply wouldn't go or send a gift. That's what I did when my cousin's daughters got married. And it was a good choice. The whole wedding was ridiculous b.s.

Keep weddings to a minimum number of guests and there's no problem with getting a better seat. Sheesh, this is the most declasse idea ever. No one reallly wants to go to a wedding anyway.

I'll pay if for entertainment they have a performance of Lavarious Slaughter's The Wiz.

If you have to go, just don’t pay the extra $50. Sit up the back and bitch about the invitation with everyone else who was offended by it. Their friends might feel obligated to buy into this bullshit, but you don’t have to. I’d also buy them a cheap gift to indicate that they’re cheap people who don’t deserve nice things.

How much to sit under the tablecloth at the head table and insert 100 dollar bills into her coin slot?i

What if no one pays?

Another kind of wedding that is nice is the hippie wedding. I went to one that was made better because the couple was beautiful in the long blonde hair and slim trim body way that was common in the 70's. It was held at UC Santa Cruz where the couple went to school, she had made her own dress and embroidered vines of flowers with butterflies down the front of her dress. It was potluck, as everything was in that time and space, and food was delicious vegetarian fare. The bride's father sprung for champagne. Before the ceremony we walked to a secluded place in the forest, not too much of a hike and full of nature's sublime aura.

It also used to be the respectable thing to do to pay for one's own wedding, hence a wedding at the beach with ice cream cones. But when everyone is friends, like post college or early work life, the celebration is heartfelt and enthusiastic.

The link is the only hippie wedding from the '70's that I could find. I think weddings must have changed when people starting videotaping the whole show.

I guess I am not staying on subject, as this is about a non-grifter wedding. Sorry.

Do people still send a list of gifts they want?

There is the registry.

Oh darn. I’m sure I’ll be having surgery on that very day. What are the odds?

These must be the type of people that the poster in the stealing hotel towels thread must give his salt and pepper shakers to as gifts. They deserve it.

There will be an all-cash bar, make that 25 all-cash bars.

What kind of champagne?

Barefoot Bubbly, no doubt R44.

How tacky.

It's supposed to be, "The honor of your presence is requested ...."

What r46 said.

Are you hosting a shakedown or a wedding?

I declined to attend a wedding with a friend, as they wanted $85 per person as the wedding and reception were held in one of those live comedy venues with forced audience participation.

As a church organist, I get paid to attend weddings. I did accidentally attend a reception with a cash bar.

A former coworker had moved on to their second marriage. In their wedding announcement, they'd actually stated: in lieu of gifts, we request cash.

Around the office this person was forever known as the "WTP."

I remember when a coworker had moved into a new apartment and sent out a notice celebrating her "housewarming". There was no party or get-together, but there was a gift registry. LOL WTF, no thanks...

In the case of OP's wedding, I'd bring a lovely wrapped gift box. Inside would be a card that said. "$50 has been donated to a local animal shelter in your name. If you'd like to upgrade your gift, please mail me $50."

Smoooches, r48.

May the clouds part, the sky open, and may I be killed instantly by a bolt of celestial lightning if I even think about marrying again, BUT, if I did...

Vows- a Saturday, or, better yet, a Sunday morning at 9:30am.

Drinks and Breakfast- All the Mimosas, Bloody Marys, coffee, juice, soda pop, water, Screwdrivers, eggs, meat vegetables, fruit, sweet rolls, you can eat or drink

...and the most delicious, classic white wedding cake with white buttercream frosting.

then about 10:30am the DJ starts, you can all get drunk and dance, my spouse and I will be off to the golf course and you all can carry on without us.

You're ALL invited. All gifts REFUSED.

That's the way you do it, Grooms & Brides of Trashenstein

The people who think this is made up have obviously not been around people of marrying age recently. This doesn't surprise me a bit. I've heard of worse.

Even the lady who married a 300 year old pirate wasn't THIS tacky.

Send them a beautifully gift basket of bags of snacks: Doritos, Pringles, etc. That's the Datalounge tradition.

make them pot edibles and you’re on, r54

Do like they do on British tv shows. The bride and groom and close family go to the registry office for the ceremony. Then they meet their friends at the local pub for 1 drink and a plate of sausage rolls.

I miss the old school ethnic weddings of my youth - church or VFW hall, stuffed cabbage, breaded chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, rolls with butter, iceberg lettuce with italian dressing. Loud polka music from a live band, dancing with aunts and cousins - strong hi-balls snuck from the bar, going out side to cool off because there was no A/C, lifting cigarettes and sneaking a smoke with your cousins - the bridal dance where you paid your buck for 15 seconds to dance and tell her how beautiful she looked, what a great party this is, and to have fun on her honeymoon... white wedding cake with too much sugary icing, and the piece you took home wrapped in that napkin -

What if you don't drink alcohol? Will they give you a complimentary 2-liter bottle of Hillbilly Holler?

Variations on R57, up and down the expense scale, are the best.

Reposted for tackiness

For my cousin's wedding, the bride and groom's family prepared a buffet meal and guests were told in advance that there would be champagne, but not an open bar. They were also welcome to bring potluck dishes to supplement the buffet. There was a spectacular wedding cake -- the bride's mother insisted. People talked about how cheap this sounded, but I had a pretty good time and the food was good.

[quote]Della

Cunt

r57 you pay to dance with the bride?

People still go to weddings?

People still have weddings?

Everything at a wedding party should be “complementary”, though that’s not the right word. Things aren’t “complementary” if you pay for them. At a wedding, all your guests are VIPs.

For 20+ years, a wedding has been the “bride’s special day”. We need to go back to thinking of it as the couple’s first party, where the guests are the priority. And bring back shame, I agree with that.

Celebrity culture and wealth inequality are destroying this country.

[quote] R49: A former coworker had moved on to their second marriage. In their wedding announcement, they'd actually stated: in lieu of gifts, we request cash.

Someone might get wiped out by divorce or spousal death, but If a person has their basic household items - furnishings, appliances, kitchen settings and cookware, linens - then what are the cash gifts for? I thought gifts for a second wedding were supposed to be minimal?

Not cheap, just mean.

I usually decline wedding invitations if it's from anyone other than immediate family (like a sibling or other relative I'm very close to) or a very close friend. Co-workers, casual friends I hardly ever her from, even family members who live in another part of the country I've never known well......I politely decline when I RSVP. There is no need to make up any excuse. Simply decline and wish them all the best in their new lives together. And there is no need to send a gift either if you're not attending.....it has all become so contrived an in many cases tacky.

These lavish, extravagant weddings that seem to be common now are ridiculous. It's a wedding of 2 ordinary people, not a coronation of the new Queen of England. Get over your pretentious self. Keep it simple and focus on celebrating the love of 2 people with close friends and family, and then maybe you and your relatives will not be drowning in credit card debt as you pay for the wedding for decades to come as you make your minimum payments on the credit card each month.

25 years ago, A former friend moved into a new home, had a party, and requested paint brushes, and other repair & building supplies. I brought a six pack. I figured I’d bring at least enough to cover my costs for the night. He had multiple properties and some guests were renters. I really can’t imagine.

This was a guy who thought it was sophisticated to have a fifth of scotch in his desk drawer at work. That was prohibited and people didn’t sit around having cocktails at 6 pm. (The one problem I have with AA is absolutely nobody has ever made amends to me per their 12-steps.)

He also lied about having a college degree, which he made a big deal about. Why not just say nothing instead?

He moved, thank God.

Destination weddings are a passive=aggressive way to get relatives the couple really doesn't like to stay home.

[quote] Everything at a wedding party should be “complementary”, though that’s not the right word

It certainly isn't.

I have never been invited to a grifter wedding. I used to go to lots of weddings. I guess I aged out and my circle of friends narrowed. I miss them. I wish I lived closer to my extended family. I would be the happy wedding guest.

Is it some bonus to sit near the wedding party? I mean I would pay just to be close to criticizing what she is wearing, loudly.

r73 the tables near the front generally get to go to the buffet first.

And the front people get extra cak and graxy.

[quote]If they are that desperate for money, why doesnt the bride charge the male guests $50 to cum on her

$50 for the face, $100 for the tits. Any other areas are negotiable.

A thread about grifter weddings and nobody has mentioned the best gift: a bag of oranges.

I prefer threads about weddings that are ruined. I don’t support anyone having a wedding. It’s a legal agreement and deserves no special ceremony.

[quote]you pay to dance with the bride?

And sometimes the groom as well. It's called a dollar dance and is pretty common at old school weddings in the Upper Midwest.

How much to finger the groom?

Cops get to do it for free.

A gift shouldn't be required, but it's tacky and rude to go to a special occasion and not bring at least a little something.

R70, that’s true.

I know a snobbish couple who thought themselves above their humble roots and decided to marry in Hawaii. This stopped the entire family from attending for financial reasons, including the bride’s mother. This nouveau riche couple didn’t think to spring for her ticket.

Instead they invited the groom’s wealthy coworkers and business associates, and the bride’s wealthy, golddigger girlfriends, who were all married to rich old guys. The wedding pictures were full of model-beautiful women and rich guys. No family though.

To me this is the result of ever growing commercialization of EVERYTHING. Weddings are an industry, and it is sell, sell, sell. And it's media too. I don't watch them, but I know there are multiple reality shows about weddings. Most weddings are tacky as hell. I cannot stand them because of all the absurd trappings - 'traditions' which were created by the wedding industry itself to sell more shit. I would only attend the wedding of someone with whom I was really close, or one in which my absence would make my life harder than putting in a short appearance.

2 insanely rich friends got married to each other and the destination wedding was 4 days in Zermatt. Guest paid for lift tickets, that's it. I also went to a long weekend one in Chilmark, all expenses covered except transport. This was over 15 years ago. I wasn't rich and enjoyed these weddings.

but some of the best ones have been normal affairs - 60's - 90's style - in local wedding halls for working class and middle class people. Italian ones are fun because people dance and express joy. Irish ones are good for drama and drinking. Black ones for food and music.

OP you have a conference for work that you "just have to attend." There's no way you can get out of it. Your presence is mandatory. On the very weekend this wedding takes place. I've used this excuse several times, and it works like a charm.

Wedding Fails:

more dumb breeders:

[quote] It’s a legal agreement and deserves no special ceremony.

Especially these days as the bride is hardly ever a virgin, so there won't be a party outside waiting around for the blood-stained sheets to be waved around by the groom or his family.

Agreed, R90. Not like the 1980s at all.

Lately there was the bride who announced what exactly guests had to wear based on sex and weight for an opening number - and then everyone had to change into formal wear.

Or the bride who was giving her guests the opportunity to participate in her “dream wedding.” And by “participate”, she meant contributing $1,500 each for the privilege of attending. To her surprise no one was willing.

Dr Phil had an episode recently where a bride was “inviting” her guests to a destination wedding 18 months in advance, allowing them enough time to save and put away enough money for airfare, hotels and gifts. Her own father wouldn’t attend, and by the sound of it there were not many people willing to oblige.

I would discreetly inquire what the cover charge would be for standing room in the back. And if the bride was planning a dance where the guests pin money on her clothing.

Why not just have a "destination honeymoon" and have a legal marriage ceremony, just the two of you and whatever witnesses are available? EVERYBODY would love you for that.

R92 Similarly, I recently saw a wedding invitation where they told the guests what colors of clothing to wear. As I recall, it was basically two: navy or beige.

Weddings have become so disgusting and money-oriented. Nothing is about the actual relationship or supposed love between the couple.

And just as bad for people in the bridal or groom's party. Pay for bachelor parties, pay for gifts, help out with the wedding.

I helped my friend get married and she and her husband didn't even have a little dinner or even just a little gathering to thank the wedding party for all their hard work and $$. No rehearsal dinner before the wedding or a thank you party after the wedding. I don't expect a gift or anything but everybody in that wedding party but a lot into their wedding and deserved some commendation.

^^^ if I attend naked, does that qualify as beige?

I don’t need to sit near the head table.

And as for the bottle of champagne... I can bring my own flask of vodka for way less than $50.

R97 are you freaking serious? You help someone if you want to, not so that you get thrown a party afterwards. I’ve heard of bridezillas but never of guestzillas.

[quote]Destination weddings are a passive=aggressive way to get relatives the couple really doesn't like to stay home.

And we SO appreciate it.

My grandmother was a florist and I would learn ALL about what the best and worst manners were for weddings. This is appalling! Does she think her wedding is a tawdry strip club? Will their be bottle service?

If these little girls cannot figure out their weddings, how, OH HOW , will they figure out life? Or Coke machines?

I cringe more than most at the thought of a money tree, but my daughter-in-law was counting on one and all of her guests (Filipinos) would have been disappointed. Everybody was a good sport about it, my friends including my gay friends all danced with her, and it was a fun thing for all the guys. My daughter-in-law (now former) is a grifter, to the max degree I never thought possible.

I agree R99, who’d want to sit up the front? It would be like sitting up the front in class. The bride and groom can see you, so you can’t duck out to the bathroom during the long ass speeches or roll your eyes at the drunk as hell best man. You’re better off up the back with the less important people. They’re always having the most fun.

Was invited to a wedding in Mykonos earlier this year. The couple requested money for their honeymoon travels in lieu of gifts. It was expected you would arrive several days before the wedding and participate in activities planned by the couple. If you required accommodation they offered you to get in contact so they could suggest good hotels. For the wedding itself, it was stressed that guests wear white, cream and soft blue colours to reflect the natural palette of the island.

Truvada blue?

[quote]For the wedding itself, it was stressed that guests wear white, cream and soft blue colours to reflect the natural palette of the island.

I would have immediately thrown that invite in the trash and continued on with the rest of my day.

Yes R107, the heavily scented invite was promptly placed in the recycling.

I cringe at the dance routine the guys do (do the brides?) when they enter the reception. If that was required in my day, it would have kept me from marrying. Not that I ever did marry.

I went to a society Hindu wedding at the Nixon library in Yorba Linda some years ago. I paid for the trip because I wanted to see what it was like. It was a three day bash and a heck of a lot of fun.

Wedding culture is ridiculous and should be done away with.

A wedding should be a small party with family and close friends celebrating love, nothing more.

I had a 10+ friendship end because the bride was having a destination wedding and I couldn't afford to attend. The whole thing was very silly and petty. She's still angry at me.

Telling your guests what they should wear is so, so tacky.

My brother was married in another state. He was living there with his future bride. As a couple they decided our side of the family and friends had an extra expense that her side did not so they requested that anyone travelling from interstate not a bring a gift as the cost of travel was enough of an expense. It was lovely gesture since my brother and his wife have lots of money but not everyone on our side does. As it turns out everybody but one of our cousins RSVPd yes and brought a gift.

Turns out when you treat people with respect, they treat you that way too.

R113... sounds like your brother and his wife handled the situation very well.

Any groomzilla experiences now that gay marriages are running amok?

Just say no!

I wonder how they determined that the price for these special seats should be $50.

r109 at the reception of the last, hopefully last wedding i was asked to play, each member of the groom’s party had a special show-off routine for his announced entrance: one stood straight up and beat his chest like Lebron, on did the caterpillar.

[quote]Even the lady who married a 300 year old pirate wasn't THIS tacky.

Hey! Our reception was tasteful!

I recall my brother, at his wedding in 1985 blurted out to me “Bill, you have to get married, you get all this money!” But he didn’t ask for any of it and it mostly came from the parents of the couple, as I recall.

Didn’t Jacki O. once say that you should marry three times: Once for love; once for money; and once for companionship? Must have been after a few cocktails. And marriages.

Something is seriously broken with weddings now days. God help you if you are asked to be in the wedding party. You better be prepared to spend big bucks on clothes, parties, traveling and gifts.

How much to sit near the donut wall?

This is tacky and wrong do not go or pay any money.

In such circumstances, except the very worst, I just roll my eyes and figure it’s for peace in the family, or neighborhood. I weigh the cost against the relationship, of course, and then decide. Besides, if you are old enough, it’s all tacky, what the kids are doing today. (It’s 13 years since my brother’s daughter dressed like a whore at his funeral, and I’m only just now getting over it, sort of. My sister says that’s how they dress now.)

How much is one expected to pay for a wedding gift?

How much do they charge for getting to fuck the groom's ass?

I’ve done that, R127, and it was free.

My younger relatives send links to their wedding websites, which ask for honeymoon funds. I feel if you cannot pay for your honeymoon, perhaps you should rethink your readiness for marriage.

Plus, invitations SHOULD NEVER speak to a gift suggestion. However, I am old and fussy.

R129 It's been common to include registry info with the invitation for several decades now. In the old days the bride and grooms mothers were supposed to tell all friends and family where they were registered verbally when they saw them. Back then the guests were friends of the parents not the couple. These days people use the Internet to communicate and guests are coming from all over. There's nothing wrong with having that info on a wedding website/ Facebook page. It's an easy way to answer everyone's questions about lodging and directions and gifts at once. It's only a grifter move if they're asking for a lot.

R13 Thankfully, that is still the norm in my Southern Baptist family, cake, punch, Jordon almonds, and a buffet. No booze, but thankfully, the whole thing lasts no more than three hours, including both the ceremony and reception. I wish everyone would have this type of wedding. we don't consider the wedding as the time for a major party, you do your partying at the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Also, I can't stand this trend of "no children" weddings, because children provide much needed entertainment.

I went to a wedding where they asked for money to fund a trip back to Ireland to see his family after the wedding. Never mind that his father, brother, his 3 closest friends and 2 cousins came over here for the wedding. I have no objection to a gift registry as they’re always implied to be gift suggestions rather than compulsory. But straight out asking people to fund your life is gauche. I gave money anyway, as did most of the guests I spoke to (most of whom weren’t impressed by the request) but the couple went to Ireland only after the second kid was born 10 years later. So clearly the money we gave them was long gone. How can you ask for money for a specific trip and then not go? Why not just ask for money, it’s no less tacky. It felt like a scam.

On the plus side an older wealthy lady (her aunt) asked them if they had a travel agent they used, this was over a decade ago and people still used them, so she gave them a check addressed to that travel agency. The only way to access the money was to book a trip through the agency. “Im not having my money fund his shitty wine collection.” she hissed to me. Lol.

I don't like the cash to fund X thing. Some cultures have a tradition of giving money not dishes and linens. They don't pretend it's for a trip or a car or anything, it's just to get the couple started.

RSVP your regrets and skip that shit.

r131 That's a nice way to have a wedding. 2-3 hours, a buffet and you're done. It's not a huge expensive party that lasts for hours and hours and hours. Most people hate attending weddings.

If I ever find Mr. Right and marry, it'll be in a local wilderness park or beauty spot, and our groomsmen and hopefully most of the guests will be wearing hiking boots. As it will be around lunchtime Mr. Right and I will spring for sandwiches, cake, wine, beer, and non-alcoholic drinks, and hopefully some wildlife will hang around the outskirts of the party. And I know Miss Manners says it's tacky to state "no gifts", but I'm going to put it on the invitations anyway. We won't need anything, in fact, we're probably going to be showering the local thriift shop with stuff, if we each have our own fully functional home and have moved in together.

The older I get, the more firmly convinced I become that trying to impress with your wedding is a bad idea. You spend yourself or your relatives into a hole, and yet it always falls short of your fantasy - or of the other foolishly extravagant weddings you see on social media. And nobody really likes weddings that much, might as well do something simple and let people get on with their day.

The VIP section idea is monumentally stupid. You just KNOW that everyone who wouldn't pay the extra money is going to sit there and snark at the idiots in the VIP section!

And destination weddings are only appropriate for the idle rich. The middle and working classes have little enough disposable income or time off work these days, it's crass to suggest they spend it on events they don't really want to attend anyway.

My friend was invited to a super rich couples wedding in Tahiti. family and close friends went on the couple’s personal massive jet. The other guest went on a chartered plane that only had first class seating and all the first class perks. The accodations were those cotttages on the water private pools for each guests. wedding was a week long affair. Oh my friend was able to take his husband who had never met the bride and groom!

That’s how you throw a destination wedding

Sheesh, my cousin had a 600+ person 6 figure wedding and my family got a "group invite" which consisted of an invitation to my parents "and family" shoved in their mailbox. It wasn't even a real invitation as the "real guests" got hand calligraphed ones; ours was photocopied.

They got a "group gift" of some TV trays we all chipped in for. No invite = no gift in my book. She was severely disappointed she didn't her $1000 per setting flatware or crystal (which she already has service for 10 of). Apparently the new thing is to ask for expensive stuff then return it and keep the cash.

Tacky tacky tacky.

[quote]Apparently the new thing is to ask for expensive stuff then return it and keep the cash.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more crass or selfish.

R139, the thing is, when you return a gift, you get a merchandise credit. Unless you have a receipt showing that someone paid cash for the item, you don’t get cash.

Someone needs to post a link to the thread(s) about that gay grifter couple that wanted everyone to fund their four wedding/honeymoon fiestas.

I’m a frugal and spiteful bitch. If there’s a greedy grab, I’ll withhold. It’s rare, but when one of those MLM cunts tries to invite me to a party selling their garbage, I always decline. One cunt fooled me with a fake invitation and I cut her OFF.

If there’s good faith, I want to be generous. As in r113’s example. The presumption really gets under my skin.

My daughter’s friend invited her to a little birthday play date at their apartment with a few other girls. It was clear that it wasn’t a big deal party and the spirit of the thing was “no presents, just your presence”. It was a true pleasure to shop for a special fun gift for this kid. Nothing inappropriately extravagant, but it didn’t feel like extortion, it was a true gift.

I hope their local Piggly Wiggly will be able to come up with enough bottles of cheap champagne if they get more than 5 takers for this farce.

My late mother was a frugal woman, but not cheap. She could be very generous and often was.

Because both her parents were from large families, she had a lot of first cousins and therefore Mom got invited to a lot of weddings of the cousins' children. She also frequently was invited to bridal showers for the same cousins' children.

That was fine with her because she liked to go and catch up with cousins.

I remember when she returned one day from her shopping trip. She had gone to purchase a gift, whether for a shower or the wedding itself, I don't remember, for one of these weddings. It may have been that it was the groom who was the relative, but I'm not sure.

What I do remember is that she was pretty disgusted when she got home. She had apparently gone to one of the major department stores and gotten the list from the couple's marriage registry.

Her comment... "That kid grew up drinking out of jelly glasses and now they want $80 goblets."

Bad move. As I said, Mom could be generous, but was no patsy. If the choices on the list had been within reason she would have happily bought a nice gift. But the too expensive choices irritated her big time.

Her fall back gift was a nice glass pitcher from Crate and Barrel. And that's what they got.

r141, depends on the store and how much they've raked in from you. If a store has already made some good profit from your registry, they might throw you some cash in appreciation.

It's true you usually get store credit instead of cash. If the registry was at a large department store, you can return all the goblets and get furniture or a new wardrobe. This is only in theory though. If your guest can't afford a $500 place setting then they'll just get you something not on the registry or nothing at all. Registries are a just suggestion. The couple need to have a variety of price points and have a realistic idea of the socioeconomic class they come from.

I resent requests for payment into honeymoon funds. I’d like to spend 2 weeks in Bora Bora as well, assholes.

A honeymoon fund is absolutely tasteless.

"The couple need to have a variety of price points and have a realistic idea of the socioeconomic class they come from. "

Social media is at least partly responsible for this, it exposes people to a lot of fakery and bullshit, like the loons who buy empty designer shopping bags so they can post videos bragging about fake shopping sprees, as well as idiots who overspend in a desperate effort to impress. There have always been "aspirational" idiots who've wanted to ignore their real socio-economic status, but social media makes it much that easier to ignore economic realities.

Gawd, if I'd ever had kids, I'd have started telling them I wasn't paying for a big fancy wedding shortly after I heard their first word, and kept it up as long as necessary.

R143 what’s a fake invitation?

I think it’s important to have less expense stuff on a registry. I like when a couple have a registry at Target where you’re sure to find some affordable kitchen stuff.

When I was a broke college student I attended a cousin’s wedding and bought a bunch of spatulas, wooden spoons, etc on the registry and put them in a nice jar.

When I got married in the 90s, the advice I got was to include items to fit every price range. It felt weird to put in expensive stuff, but a few of out-of-state relatives were willing to spend over $150 on a gift--much to our surprise.

The wedding registries I personally love are the ones from a couple who are both white-collar professionals from upper-middle class families who have already been living together for years and want for nothing and then have THE BRASS BALLS to put up a registry full of high-end items. Fuck. Right. Off.

A fake invitation is where you think you're invited to a party and when you arrive there is a hard sell sales pitch.

Like a pyramid scheme or a Tupperware party r155?

Not Tupperware, but MLM.