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Fraus Drinking Themselves to Death at Alarming New Rates

That nightly glass of wine has become a gateway drug.

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by Anonymousreply 270May 10, 2019 7:33 PM

[QUOTE]It's an increase that has been obscured by the opioid epidemic. But alcohol kills more people each year than overdoses – through cancer, liver cirrhosis, pancreatitis and suicide, among other ways.

[QUOTE]From 2007 to 2017, the number of deaths attributable to alcohol increased 35 percent, according to a new analysis by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington. The death rate rose 24 percent.

[QUOTE]One alarming statistic: Deaths among women rose 85 percent. Women once drank far less than men, and their more moderate drinking helped prevent heart disease, offsetting some of the harm.

by Anonymousreply 1November 24, 2018 3:27 AM

These are all sad stories.

by Anonymousreply 2November 24, 2018 3:39 AM

Women I know are drinking more, and more openly.

by Anonymousreply 3November 24, 2018 3:41 AM

Tonight I was looking up gifts for women on Amazon and so many items reference wine (socks that say "If you can read this, bring me wine") or are wine-related (glasses, holders, etc.).

by Anonymousreply 4November 24, 2018 3:44 AM

The boozy playdates for moms of very young kids was/is a big thing with bloggers and mommy authors. When we were kids it may have been Valium. This glamorizing and marketing of being wasted during the day while taking care of little kids seems new.

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by Anonymousreply 5November 24, 2018 3:50 AM

[QUOTE]Tonight I was looking up gifts for women on Amazon and so many items reference wine (socks that say "If you can read this, bring me wine") or are wine-related (glasses, holders, etc.).

The free market knows a sucker when it sees one.

by Anonymousreply 6November 24, 2018 3:58 AM

I see a lot of alcohol stuff marketed to women, like R4. I think it's part of the hopelessness-adjacent zeitgeist. Things I've seen on sweatshirts, from Target to Nordstrom Rack, etc:

Tacos & Tequila

Rose Before Resolutions

Dance Like No One's Watching Because They're Not, They're All Looking at Their Phones

Eat Like No One's Watching

by Anonymousreply 7November 24, 2018 4:03 AM

If you believe the nonsense bs you read in USA Today (which I didn't know was still in print), you are drunk. It's not exactly a respected news source and real reporters joke about it. OP, is in on your recliner next to Reader's Digest?

by Anonymousreply 8November 24, 2018 4:10 AM

What is it about the article that you find so hard to believe, R8?

by Anonymousreply 9November 24, 2018 4:18 AM

"Rose All Day" "Time to Wine Down!" "Espresso Then Prosecco" "Mistletoe and Merlot"

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by Anonymousreply 10November 24, 2018 4:21 AM

Another sensationalist clickbait article.

by Anonymousreply 11November 24, 2018 4:23 AM

[QUOTE]Another sensationalist clickbait article.

What exactly are you disputing?

by Anonymousreply 12November 24, 2018 4:25 AM

Well, just look at the bird-bath size glasses the Real Housewives are always drinking from.

by Anonymousreply 13November 24, 2018 4:29 AM

It’s a real thing. I’m a parent on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. I’d never seen as much drinking as I have at my kid’s school functions. Play dates, book clubs, birthday parties, or even just a spare hour between PTA events. All are excuses to polish off a bottle.

by Anonymousreply 14November 24, 2018 4:32 AM

I’m a single slutty almost 37 year old non- frau. I drank to excess in college like most college kids and drank to excess as a post grad 20 something young professional and party girl in nyc. I’m lucky I am still alive. I’ve curbed some of the binge drinking habits I had but at the end of the day I still can drink most seasoned alcoholic men under the table and when life goes to shit I go back to drinking obscene amounts of booze everyday.. The fact that I hold down high stress jobs and look healthy made me feel like I was invincible but I’m getting up there in age and am scared it’s going to all hit me at once. A close girlfriend of mine almost died from DT’s like Amy Winehouse. That led me to change my habits however I’m more frightened of what I’ve done/am doing to my liver. My ALT and AST levels are usually low during my CMT blood panels but I know those results can be misleading. Since I was a teenager I prided myseif in being able to drink like and hang with the boys. Ugh.

by Anonymousreply 15November 24, 2018 4:33 AM

I'm a millennial and have noticed that all the new mommies my age celebrate their alcoholism and being "a hot mess". Stumbling around in Lululemon with a Yeti full of Pinot. Responsibility is dead!

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by Anonymousreply 16November 24, 2018 4:47 AM

I think initially when social media came out it was a bit of a single vs. married unsaid battle... I always felt like my married mommy friends would go out and post the drinking pics to prove, "Hey, I have it all! I'm a mom but I also party too, just like you do!"

That was just a tiny aspect of it anyways... I know there's a lot more to it than that.

And I really detest the whole sophomoric "Rose All Day" stuff I see on SM.

Those stories about the women in that linked article are really sad. Most of them had been through really bad life experiences.

by Anonymousreply 17November 24, 2018 4:49 AM

Okay, I can't lie, I'm not feeling as bad for the women featured in the second linked article. As someone who is single and childless I'm having a hard time feeling for someone who lives in Park Slope with a husband, three kids, and a cool business who is simply "bored."

by Anonymousreply 18November 24, 2018 5:04 AM

It isn't sensationalist, at least not in Australia. Women here are drinking more often to excess. Older women 40-60 are the fastest growing heavy drinking population. Drinking during the afternoon is so prevalent that the police routinely target the school pickup zones for breathalizing.

And a psychotherapist friend who works with a bariatric surgeon said that alchoholism is common in women who have had a gastic sleeve or bypass. So that may account for some of the increase in alchohol-related illnesses.

by Anonymousreply 19November 24, 2018 5:27 AM

I'm a lesbian, not a Frau, but I have noticed that straight women are drinking more heavily and openly. As for me, I'm currently a bottle-a-day wine drinker. I don't know many other lesbians where I live, but our alcohol use has always been relatively high, according to decades of public health data. I think R7 nailed it:

[quote]...it's part of the hopelessness-adjacent zeitgeist.

America is decaying all around us. It's no wonder that women (who, as R16 points out, have traditionally carried the burden of social responsibility) are giving up.

by Anonymousreply 20November 24, 2018 5:31 AM

That reminds me, time for Drinkie Poohs!

by Anonymousreply 21November 24, 2018 5:36 AM

One of my former group of friends, which consisted of both singles and married mommies, would begin the night at someone's house with several bottles of champagne before we even left for the bars. And I always found the amount of $$ spent on rounds at the bars rather horrifying. I really only needed one drink for the night but would end up having to take my turn at a round and would be out $150 or so. I hated that... so many other things I'd rather spend my money on.

Another health issue is the fact that a lot of these women don't eat and just save their calories for the wine, so there's the pressure to be thin coupled with the pressure to drink and be the life of the party.

by Anonymousreply 22November 24, 2018 5:41 AM

But they have the hardest job in the world, let them drink!

by Anonymousreply 23November 24, 2018 5:50 AM

Oh yes, the whole 'drinking my calories' mindset. Nothing could go wrong with that.

by Anonymousreply 24November 24, 2018 5:53 AM

The whole world is gonna go up in flames any minute know so...bottoms up!

by Anonymousreply 25November 24, 2018 5:57 AM

Too bad so sad. Straight women, especially white ones have the cushiest lives on earth. Easy safe jobs, men to protect and support the them, government and the courts always favoring them. Yet it is never enough. So drink up you cunts.

by Anonymousreply 26November 24, 2018 6:04 AM

R26 exactly the biggest victims on earth. No one ever had it so easy, they use their pussies like credit cards and they want to be the CEOs and well-compensated stay-at-home mommies. The white Frau's self righteous indignation is a sight to behold, they will never be sufficient enough.

by Anonymousreply 27November 24, 2018 6:13 AM

There were numerous ‘studies’ released in the last decade or so promoting the health benefits of wine. I think that turned a lot more people on to the idea of daily drinking.

Of course, now that we’ve got a nation of alcoholics, studies are coming out that say any amount of alcohol is damaging to your health...

by Anonymousreply 28November 24, 2018 6:33 AM

I guess this is a byproduct of feminism too? Men drink openly, always have. Women drank in secret, if drank at all. Now they’re letting it all hang out. As much as I laugh at Woo Girls, I see trouble ahead for a lot do them. Because they’re drinking a hell of a lot now.

by Anonymousreply 29November 24, 2018 6:40 AM

In my suburban enclave bubble I'm seeing lots of the Fraus staying out late, drinking and leaving the babies with the whipped Dads. The Repugs say butt sex is unnatural but a motherless child is far more unnatural and causes a lifetime of emotional problems.

by Anonymousreply 30November 24, 2018 6:56 AM

I also think iis spinning out of controll. You see a lot of young women drinking a bottle of wine everyday and are proud of it on social media . They,don’t smoke but they drink nowadays . If you,dared to smoke they look down on you bit drinking a bottle of wine is ok now . When at home I drink coffee and water and at dinner a glas of wine .

by Anonymousreply 31November 24, 2018 7:18 AM

Any Britons care to chime in? You're years ahead of us on the widespread public alcoholism front.

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by Anonymousreply 32November 24, 2018 7:37 AM

Wine is gross. All fermented beverages taste nasty.

by Anonymousreply 33November 24, 2018 7:38 AM

R31 well smoking is a lot worse for you. Wine is not unless you get behind the wheel.

by Anonymousreply 34November 24, 2018 7:44 AM

That's debatable, R34. Smoking increases one's risk of lung cancer and other diseases, but I'd argue that heavy smoking is a less dangerous vice ― for the individual, for family, and for society ― than heavy drinking. Cigarettes won't cause someone to be fired from her job, to pass out on the floor while a child waits for dinner, or, as you already mentioned, to kill someone in a car crash.

by Anonymousreply 35November 24, 2018 8:03 AM

Every cloud has a silver lining.

by Anonymousreply 36November 24, 2018 8:06 AM

And it is KETO!! Champagne!! Wine!! Vodka!! Whisky!! Brandy!! Tequila!!Dry Martini!!

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by Anonymousreply 37November 24, 2018 8:15 AM

R35 well all those examples are situational. It doesn’t compromise your health in the same way unless you’re the most severe of alcoholics. Just being a garden variety lush won’t significantly compromise your health or shorten your lifespan in and of itself.

My father was a heavy smoker - he also loved his martinis and his steaks. Trust me when I say that if he had loved only the last two of those three, he would still be alive today and would have lived until at least 85 instead of dying in his 60s (both his parents had the same habits sans heavy smoking and lived very long lives).

by Anonymousreply 38November 24, 2018 8:23 AM

All of my female friends who drink a lot are either fat or on their way. By the time women are in their 30s, their metabolism slows down and even low carb alcohol has calories. Very few women nowadays have the self discipline to eat less if they drink. They want their booze and food too.

by Anonymousreply 39November 24, 2018 8:57 AM

Drink, pray, love.

by Anonymousreply 40November 24, 2018 9:07 AM

[quote]So (moms) drink wine while they make dinner, which can lead to a nightly pattern of excessive drinking.

This is so true. You can drink the house down in the kitchen while cooking. It looks perfectly fine. No one will know how much you're actually putting away, and you'll have a nice buzz going by time dinner is on the table.

by Anonymousreply 41November 24, 2018 9:27 AM

R26 r27 true, but NOBODY is allowed to say it. For all the histrionics we hear about rich white male privilege their female Frau counterparts are just as entitled . What's most eyeroll inducing about these women is the sense of maudlin self pity many of them carry around. The media is constantly white knighting for these types whether they're stumbling around inebriated at frat parties , crying about their regrettable drunken fuck, or whining about being "mommy shamed ", their problems are always treated as somehow more important than everyone else's. If a white middle class to affluent Frau or college girl whines to the media about something it will immediately be treated as the biggest and most pressing problem ever, without fail.

by Anonymousreply 42November 24, 2018 9:29 AM

[quote]Straight women, especially white ones have the cushiest lives on earth. Easy safe jobs, men to protect and support the them, government and the courts always favoring them.

This is so demonstrably wrong it's impossible to even know where to start with it. But you know that.

DL's MRA types are so embarrassing.

by Anonymousreply 43November 24, 2018 9:57 AM

If you think women can't hold back on eating while imbibing then you don't hang out with rich women. Those gals have the discipine to withhold food and the reward for that is getting smashed.

by Anonymousreply 44November 24, 2018 11:03 AM

AIt’s Christmas time and MAMA NEEDS HER WINE

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by Anonymousreply 45November 24, 2018 11:18 AM

R43 So it's so wrong, but you can't articulate even one thing that's wrong what was said?

by Anonymousreply 46November 24, 2018 12:03 PM

Moms, especially white Moms, drinking to excess and popping opioids?!

Where is the GOP outrage for The Children, especially the unborn precious fetuses?

by Anonymousreply 47November 24, 2018 1:55 PM

There are several women women I can think of off the top of my head who I've been acquainted with for years and who I've run into while they were at work, and who were definitely on something. Probably drinking, possibly something else. They didn't used to act like this.

It's a small Midwestern town, and we're seeing a lot of people in middle age dying from either drink, drug, or suicide. This year alone we've had something like 10 people found just laying outside a business or on a sidewalk dead. Every single one was reported as natural causes, which is also weird. I'm starting to think substance and alcohol abuse have taken over our entire town.

by Anonymousreply 48November 24, 2018 2:07 PM

You want a link to prove that women don't use their pussies like credit cards, r46?

The guy claiming that this is a byproduct of feminism probably needs to be the one to provide a link first. I can't fathom anyone thinking this is because of feminism, when it's been historically shown again and again that financial and cultural stress and insecurity leads to abusing drugs and alcohol. There's no reason to link this to feminism. There's no reason to say that this is just spoiled women acting out because feminism has made their lives too easy.

by Anonymousreply 49November 24, 2018 2:12 PM

Of course it's because of stress. We all know in the backs of our mind that the ship is going down.

by Anonymousreply 50November 24, 2018 2:17 PM

[Quote]You see a lot of young women drinking a bottle of wine everyday and are proud of it on social media .

I think everyone being linked up with their entire high school classes via SM has regressed people back to their 15-year-old selves.

by Anonymousreply 51November 24, 2018 3:07 PM

[quote] DL's MRA types are so embarrassing.

They're straight men's useful idiots. Pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 52November 24, 2018 3:10 PM

Costco is capturing the market

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by Anonymousreply 53November 24, 2018 3:12 PM

Now that there's recreational marijuana in so many states I wonder if pot will replace wine with these drinkers, or if they really do like their wine that much.

by Anonymousreply 54November 24, 2018 3:18 PM

is there really a difference between alcohol and drugs?

by Anonymousreply 55November 24, 2018 3:43 PM

R15 not being judgey but you are definitely at a crossroads with your drinking. The elevator goes down and you can get off at any floor! Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 56November 24, 2018 3:52 PM

R55, alcohol is a drug.

I can consume a lot of pot and not be hung over the next day. I also don't become belligerent on pot and I haven't heard of too many deaths associated with pot. So I would say there is a big difference in health risks between pot and alcohol.

by Anonymousreply 57November 24, 2018 4:03 PM

This thread made me thirsty.

by Anonymousreply 58November 24, 2018 4:09 PM

Frau Goddess in Chief

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by Anonymousreply 59November 24, 2018 7:12 PM

R32 Brit chiming in here. I believe the binge drinking amongst younger people (of the type illustrated) is starting to decline slightly now, it's probably seen as uncool. Older people are more at risk of chronic alcoholism, and women are less able to drink safely. There is a wine drinking culture among women, it's seen as a fun 'girly' kind of thing to do. I've heard that cocaine use is increasing dramatically in the UK as well, not so much opoids.

by Anonymousreply 60November 24, 2018 7:24 PM

Not to mention the glamorization of "wine moms". I'm a recovered boozer (and a woman) wine was my alcoholic beverage of choice and it almost killed me. More people comment on how "odd" my not drinking is then commented on my abuse of alcohol. Functioning alcoholism has absolutely been normalized.

by Anonymousreply 61November 24, 2018 7:30 PM

You don't drink, r61?

by Anonymousreply 62November 24, 2018 7:31 PM

My husband has been unemployed 2 years and now works in a factory for peasant pay. My boss is an asshole and my own job is in jeopardy, Trump is still in office. I drink.

Should I monetize my pussy ATM on some clueless male?

by Anonymousreply 63November 24, 2018 7:35 PM

[quote]I can consume a lot of pot and not be hung over the next day.

I wish I could say the same; I smoke just a small amount of pot, and I feel hungover all day long the next day - sapped of energy, dehydrated, headache, cranky, inability to concentrate. I don't feel anywhere near as bad if I drink, unless I have more than 5 or 6 drinks.

by Anonymousreply 64November 24, 2018 7:43 PM

r64 are you sure you're getting the good stuff?

by Anonymousreply 65November 24, 2018 7:44 PM

Yes r65. I get weed from a friend with a good connection. I've also tried different kinds and from different sources, and they all give me hangovers.

I've told a couple of doctors about this, and they didn't sound too surprised. In fact, the only people who are surprised are people under 25 who could smoke an ounce and drink a pint of vodka and feel fine the next day, and the people who desperately want pot to be legal and will allow nothing negative about marijuana to ever be uttered ("Pot hangover? That's impossible! Oh and don't forget NOBODY EVER DIED FROM A POT OVERDOSE!!!1!!")

by Anonymousreply 66November 24, 2018 8:03 PM

R20, I too am a lesbian and notice my straight friends are drinking more heavily than they used to. One has become very vague, woozy and unreliable even apart from cocktail hour. Seems to be linked to depression. My dyke pals quit or cut back long ago -- they were aware of the dangers earlier.

by Anonymousreply 67November 24, 2018 8:19 PM

R66 well, I wouldn't suggest drinking and smoking on the same day, that amplifies the effects.

by Anonymousreply 68November 24, 2018 8:21 PM

Mrs Hinkle, do you drink?

by Anonymousreply 69November 24, 2018 8:28 PM

It is shitty for kids, I still remember how uncomfortable and even scary it could be to be around and reliant on drunk adults. Once, a friend invited me to go for pizza with his family. His mom drank wine the whole time and got pulled over on the way home, she was driving way under the speed limit. We were maybe in kindergarten.

People are so much more isolated than in prior generations and it seems more anxious. Benzos, weed and booze further erode relationships. Acquaintances have joked about bringing sippy cups or travel mugs of wine to sports games or school performances of their kids and have said it is the norm. Between moms drinking and posting on social media, are the kids getting their emotional needs met, ever?

Some mommy blogger types also post things like threatening suicide after their kid has a birthday party or having an uncontrolled mood disorder. They seem to get responses framing them as the victim, rather than an adult who has a responsibility to spawn to get her shit together. This is all on social media for the whole community to see. Just awful. Dysfunction worn as a badge of pride. Growing up with drunken or drugged parents fucks you up, it is not glamorous or cool, yet these women get book deals.

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by Anonymousreply 70November 24, 2018 9:10 PM

Wine can really fuck up your life. People act like it does not count (same with beer if you are Kavanaugh). Alcoholism is no pretty way to die.

Look at Johnny...

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by Anonymousreply 71November 24, 2018 9:13 PM

Then once the kids are older these moms become Cool Mom and drink right along with the kids at house parties. One mom in a nearby town got busted for providing them drugs.

by Anonymousreply 72November 24, 2018 9:53 PM

A lot of people have the mistaken belief that wine is not as harmful as hard liquor. Not true at all, wine in excess is just as bad for your body as hard liquor is.

by Anonymousreply 73November 24, 2018 10:09 PM

Causes cirrhosis just the same...

by Anonymousreply 74November 24, 2018 10:11 PM

I wonder if some of it is that parents' free time caters so much to their children that they feel the need to turn everything into a party in order to stay sane.

"Woo hoo, totally excited to be spending my Wednesday night after work at another soccer party! Woot!!"

by Anonymousreply 75November 24, 2018 10:17 PM

And then they're hanging out with other parents with whom they might not have much else in common with, so the booze breaks the ice.

by Anonymousreply 76November 24, 2018 10:20 PM

This is hardly new. Upper crust ladies had the money and resources to hide their love affair with the bottle, while minority women either became huge boozers openly, or jumped straight to hard drugs.

Women have been on scrips since forever, and before that, mother’s little helper came in dark, amber bottles, filled with “energy” or “relaxation”.

by Anonymousreply 77November 24, 2018 10:21 PM

^True, I guess it's the openness and celebrating of what is often a bad habit that is the new part.

by Anonymousreply 78November 24, 2018 10:24 PM

Sounds about white.

by Anonymousreply 79November 24, 2018 10:33 PM

Celebration rather than shame is the new mantra for sure. I have seen pregnant upper class mothers quickly down huge glasses of wine and then get behind the wheel, on a weeknight, not even a Saturday. It has all been normalized and those balloon glasses from C&B can hold almost 1/2 bottle. I was the only one who batted an eye, everyone else seemed to be unconcerned.

by Anonymousreply 80November 24, 2018 10:35 PM

We knew. We all knew.

by Anonymousreply 81November 24, 2018 10:39 PM

I don't drink myself, but if alcoholism is now normal and socially acceptable, I want to invest in the wine industry.

Are there any good wine-centric money market funds?

by Anonymousreply 82November 24, 2018 11:01 PM

Alcoholism was perfectly acceptable in the fifties and sixties when cocktails and mixed drinks ruled social circles. This is just a new version of the same old thing, made more acceptable and spreading further culturally than in previous decades thanks to the internet.

by Anonymousreply 83November 24, 2018 11:36 PM

True, r83. My grandparents and other relatives of the WWII generation had cocktails every night. These days, it's more wine than cocktails but it's essentially the same thing.

by Anonymousreply 84November 24, 2018 11:42 PM

They get drunk because they've realised they are still empty despite the crotchfruit.

by Anonymousreply 85November 24, 2018 11:54 PM

That had more of a social element though, R84. A lot of women, esp moms, are drinking alone or around young kids. And a cocktail or 2 is less alcohol than a bottle of wine.

by Anonymousreply 86November 24, 2018 11:54 PM

There’s so much to unpack in this trend, but my first instinct is to place the blame on capitalism and it’s empty promises. Women are constantly sold ideals to reach, in looks, lifestyle, parenthood and so forth. Either they don’t reach those ideals and get depressed or do and realize affluence and success won’t make anyone truly happy. Both outcomes lead to misery, which substance abuse can mask for a while. Thus this cycle of unfilling consumption keeps going and going.

by Anonymousreply 87November 24, 2018 11:59 PM

I remember I tuned into Today about five years ago after not having watched it since the Iraq invasion, and saw Hoda and the blonde woman clinking glasses and congratulating themselves for being girlfriends and enjoying wine.

I was surprised -- I didn't think real people were allowed to drink live on TV.

by Anonymousreply 88November 25, 2018 12:01 AM

There is no satisfaction in being human these days. Everyone is looking for something to create that feeling while our recent ancestors woke up and felt it every day without realizing it. People lived in the same places for long periods, and were connected to the land they took sustenance from. You spoke to someone in 1930's from Maine and you could actually imagine that you were speaking to the land itself. This desire to dull your existence with alcohol is a sign of despair.

The epidemic of suicide among 50+ year old women is well known, so maybe the mommie set is building up some liquid courage. Women are the carriers of the racial memory. Perhaps this nihilistic behavior is the attempt to wipe our sorry asses out.

by Anonymousreply 89November 25, 2018 12:04 AM

I had no idea that was allowed either, R88.

I think the one is a very late in life single adoptive parent. Great to know she hits the wine in the am.

People used to have larger families and to live closer, there was more social support and it was likely that you might actually enjoy the company of a few. 50 year olds were not supposed to look or act like teens. People had more realistic expectations for their lives. The age of advertising, followed by social media sure is enriching Big Pharma and the liquor industries.

by Anonymousreply 90November 25, 2018 12:10 AM
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by Anonymousreply 91November 25, 2018 12:13 AM

Oh for fuck's sake - WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREEEEEEEEEEEN?

It's an old joke around here for a reason.

For those who are not addicts and alcoholics, meaning the majority of people in the world, having wine with dinner is just having dinner. Having a cocktail is just having a cocktail. It's not a red flag indicating depression and addiction, it's not something that needs to be looked at or worried about or condemned.

Sometimes people who have addiction issues forget that the majority of people don't.

by Anonymousreply 92November 25, 2018 12:16 AM

I never watch Today, but I'm surprised whenever I read about Good Christian Kathie Lee drinking.

by Anonymousreply 93November 25, 2018 12:17 AM

R92, did you read the OP? This thread is not about people who drink moderately and socially.

by Anonymousreply 94November 25, 2018 12:18 AM

R92, that reminds me of a therapist I had once who told me that drinking 2 to 3 glasses of wine a couple of nights a week at dinner meant I was an alcoholic. I obviously wasn't, but he was adamant about it, and it eventually morphed into him wanting to sell me addiction treatment.

The crazy thing was that at the time I found a lot of professional websites that said more than 6 drinks a week did indeed equal alcoholism.

by Anonymousreply 95November 25, 2018 12:20 AM

r87 I think that has a lot to do with it. I know a lot of women who are "wine moms" or whatever they're called and believe me, they want for nothing. Lots of $$$ and their husbands take very good care of them. Their kids are well-behaved and never cause any problems. But so many of them are just bitches who are in perpetually pissy moods. I don't get it at all.

by Anonymousreply 96November 25, 2018 12:54 AM

^ Because they have no purpose in life. Kids don't really need a mom at home once they start school, if then. But it's a symbol of class and status since the Victorians to have an "idle wife." That mentality has been justified after WW2 as The Hardest, Most Important Job in the World. So hard, that only women are equipped to do it (eye roll). But it's unnecessary, and deep down everyone knows it. It's just an excuse to keep women out the workforce, but it isn't working because more and more women have been fighting for the right to earn their own resources and fewer of them are buying into the lies ofbthe SAHM lifestyle. It's like dumb young men who join the military for the chance to be sewn as heros. Basic women think being a Mom is heroic because SAHMs get more pats on the head culturally than women who don't buy it. But it's a dull existence and being drunk or high on pills numbs the boredom. In the 50s it was valium. In the late 19th and early 20th century it was laudanum. For the past 30 years it's been antidepressants and now it seems Wine is making a shameless debut.

by Anonymousreply 97November 25, 2018 1:16 AM

Cheers!

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by Anonymousreply 98November 25, 2018 1:39 AM

It's not just stay at home Moms either, a lot of working mothers drink wine in the evening to relax. It's just culture, wine is seen as a harmless drink, even good for you in small amounts. The problem is a lot of people aren't drinking small amounts anymore, though they think they are. Wine is usually stronger now, and wine glasses are much bigger, so a couple of glasses can equal the best part of a bottle of strong wine. Some women will run into health problems if they drink that amount every day, especially if they drink more on a night out, say once or twice a week.

by Anonymousreply 99November 25, 2018 1:40 AM

Whenever I watch House Hunters it always comes up that the female partner wants a tub or deck or something where she can obliterate herself with wine. Instagram is the same thing.

by Anonymousreply 100November 25, 2018 1:42 AM

It is a bit sad.

Among my professional colleagues, the women drink a lot of wine and the men smoke a lot of weed (it is legal here). These are well paid people with advanced degrees.

I sometimes wonder how they will cope with a parent with cancer or a child with autism if they need to constantly obliterate a pretty good and uneventful day to day life. No wonder their kids are so demanding of the attention of the public and so unable to handle challenges or their emotions, perhaps they have been raised by screens while the rents were blotto?

by Anonymousreply 101November 25, 2018 1:50 AM

R93 Kathie Lee: "enjoy this moment. It's a GIFFT!"

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by Anonymousreply 102November 25, 2018 2:24 AM

American and British drinkers are moderate compared to South Koreans, who I was astounded to learn drink even more than Russians do. There are plenty of YouTube videos about the drinking culture of South Korea.

by Anonymousreply 103November 25, 2018 2:27 AM

Interesting, R103.

by Anonymousreply 104November 25, 2018 2:30 AM

R103, I saw Anthony Bourdain's episode there and Holy Moly, yes there was a lot of drinking going on.

by Anonymousreply 105November 25, 2018 2:39 AM

I blame these 2 bitches

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by Anonymousreply 106November 25, 2018 2:41 AM

Some paint and drink on girls' night out.

I'm in Houston, but there's a paint and drink spot near my apartment.

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by Anonymousreply 107November 25, 2018 2:47 AM

Interesting r103. You don't think of Asians as being big drinkers at all.

by Anonymousreply 108November 25, 2018 3:03 AM

I have s friend in recovery who later told me she drank 16 bus lights a day with triplets! When they were five the kids locked her in the basement and had lots of behaiviiral issues. My elderly mom has started repeating herself and the drs straight up told her to stop drinking wine every night as it causes dementia. She refuses and still has 3 white wines a night at 77. My teen niece is in college and still hasn’t had a drink and her mom loves wine. I think some teens now are drinking less believe it or not. Many parents say I don’t want my kids first drink to be in college? I’m why not I think as I smile at them. My sister in law asked my niece to have wine with her the summer before she left for college and she said “that’s clingy mom”.

by Anonymousreply 109November 25, 2018 3:07 AM

MY friend with triplets admitted after rehab she was up to 16 Bud Lights a day. Since then I’ve noticed many ppl with drinking problems drink Bud light.

My 77 yo mom has had dementia symptoms recently and two doctors have told her she must stop drinking wine every night. She refuses. Guess what? It can start dementia symptoms.

My niece who is in college has still not had drinks. My sis in law who loves her wine asked her if she wanted to have a drink the summer before she left for college so she wouldn’t have her first drink away at school andmy niece said “no mom that’s cringy”. I’ve her many parents say they want kids to drink in high school to avoid first drinks at college. Not sure I follow that logic.

by Anonymousreply 110November 25, 2018 3:13 AM

Probably because men are constantly disparaging them in every way possible, including creating threads on gay sites for mocking their demise, calling them "fraus."

by Anonymousreply 111November 25, 2018 3:16 AM

R109 / R110, how many have YOU had tonight?! ; )

by Anonymousreply 112November 25, 2018 3:26 AM

Despite the Facebook posts, I'm sure fraus are actually miserable. They hooked the husband to get the props, er, kids he really didn't want and shows no interest in helping out with. Now she's left to battle the peanut allergies and the teachers who gave Jayden an undeserving F alone. Hubby is either fucking a hot younger chick or on Grindr looking for dick. They're been out of work to raise the demon spawn and have little to no marketable skills to get back in the workforce. And to keep up with the Joneses, are probably up to their neck in debt.

by Anonymousreply 113November 25, 2018 3:56 AM

How dare you, r111? I am not at all an object of ridicule!

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by Anonymousreply 114November 25, 2018 3:59 AM

That's horrible R114. All that with her little girl in the car. All men hate women. Isn't it obvious?

by Anonymousreply 115November 25, 2018 4:15 AM

r97 I needed a mom at home once I started school.

by Anonymousreply 116November 25, 2018 4:22 AM

People on DL like to blame GenX for a lot of things that aren't that generation's fault, but the celebration of dysfunction I think IS a very common GenX trait. Maybe we're really looking at more of a Generation Jones thing, a young Boomer or old GenX situation, where that generation came of age just as the economy crashed and job security waned and college was required of nearly everyone.

They basically felt left behind from the prosperous culture that they had known when they were younger kids. Younger GenXers may never have known in the more prosperous America, but they also were latchkey kids brought up on television and dealing with and increasingly high divorce rate.

Those people started having children and all that insecurity from their own childhood came rushing back, and they turned into wine moms and pothead dads to deal with it. From there, they made it into something aspirational and marketable to cover the fact that they are self-medicating after decades of stress and disappointment.

by Anonymousreply 117November 25, 2018 4:40 AM

^ Sounds legit to me.

by Anonymousreply 118November 25, 2018 4:46 AM

I don't understand how anyone can afford alcohol or drugs on a regular basis, other than the upper class and what's left of the upper-middle class. I'm so glad I don't have the addiction gene and my only real vice is sleeping too much.

by Anonymousreply 119November 25, 2018 4:48 AM

^ Don't forget cigarettes.

by Anonymousreply 120November 25, 2018 4:51 AM

R119 I don't know about drugs but they buy the cheaper wine or even stuff like cider (at least in the UK) and go without other things to pay for them. I used to drink a fair amount and smoke and I managed it but I didn't have other luxuries or any savings. Most people do have a certain amount of disposable income. Anyone who is badly hooked will cut back on essentials like food and heating to pay for their drug of choice.

by Anonymousreply 121November 25, 2018 8:35 AM

R89 is on to something but only takes it half way. The root cause of all this frantic seeking of pleasure, distraction and numbness is a lack of spirituality.

by Anonymousreply 122November 25, 2018 9:25 AM

R87 When women are younger they doubt motherhood will be fulfilling, so they chase careers, travel, relationships and luxury / 'experiences'. Then they find out this is all shallow, get close to 40 and think that the thing that is missing, that will make them happy, is having kids. Then they have the kids and then realise, nothing, will really make them happy. They chase happiness when they should be seeking contentment and not seeking others or things to define them.

by Anonymousreply 123November 25, 2018 11:07 AM

Women say that their biological clock in ticking, and that they urge to have kids is too great. But if their such a thing as a biological urge to reproduce (which there isn't), then shouldn't it be at its peak when you are at your most fertile, as a teenager / 20 something? I'm sicking of unhappy mothers not taking responsibility for choosing to have children by saying it was a 'biological urge' they couldn't ignore, as if they don't have agency and are simply automatons.

by Anonymousreply 124November 25, 2018 11:09 AM

R111 It's mostly women disparaging other women. Have you notice how so many do the look up and down thing with another woman, with an indignant look? Notice how most of the editors and writers for women's magazines, are female? In the West, women are their worst enemies, not men.

by Anonymousreply 125November 25, 2018 11:24 AM

R122 wants to take us to a 12 step meeting.

by Anonymousreply 126November 25, 2018 11:55 AM

There is no “addiction gene”.

by Anonymousreply 127November 25, 2018 12:01 PM

Older gal in Louisiana. Drinking is very accepted here and has always been part of our culture. The poster upthread who mentioned 6 wine glasses a week is a functional alike, then 80% of Louisianans are alkies.

Sucks for me since I don’t drink. In fact limits my social life considerably.

by Anonymousreply 128November 25, 2018 12:06 PM

R128 do you think that perhaps the French influence has played a part in the acceptability of drinking in Louisiana? Supposedly the French drink with every meal.

by Anonymousreply 129November 25, 2018 12:17 PM

^ I always imagine the old school French and Italians having wine with dinner, but most not abusing it.

by Anonymousreply 130November 25, 2018 2:58 PM

France has a high rate of alcoholism, R130.

by Anonymousreply 131November 25, 2018 3:13 PM

^ Now, but I was thinking "old school." Any French influence on Louisiana wouldn't be recent, unless we're talking genes rather than culture.

by Anonymousreply 132November 25, 2018 3:20 PM

[quote] [R97] I needed a mom at home once I started school.

And you think it's healthy to be that reliant on your parents past the age of 12?

by Anonymousreply 133November 25, 2018 3:26 PM

[quote] It's mostly women disparaging other women.

Yes, but clearly I'm a woman! Can't you see?

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by Anonymousreply 134November 25, 2018 3:28 PM

You started school at 12, r133?

You must have been pretty "special".

by Anonymousreply 135November 25, 2018 3:29 PM

Wisconsin has a drinking culture too. People have 5 and 10 DUIs. It's nuts. Booze is addictive. Once you train your body to like the taste of poison, you'll eventually get addicted. If people lived to be 150, everyone would be an alcoholic. Not just the ones with the genes for it.

by Anonymousreply 136November 25, 2018 3:29 PM

I think you're "special", r135, since you obviously have no reading comprehension.

by Anonymousreply 137November 25, 2018 3:30 PM

[quote]That's horrible [R114]. All that with her little girl in the car. All men hate women. Isn't it obvious?

He should have stayed on DL in his basement. Now, he's immortalized as the posterchild for gays everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 138November 25, 2018 3:33 PM

And historically a lot of famous Americans drank and smoked themselves to death, particularly movie stars. When one reads of that time in the 1930s and 1940s, you can almost convince yourself that smoking and drinking wasn't unhealthy back then, because it was so normalized. And glamorized. But of course it was unhealthy, and people died young of heart attacks, cirhossis and lung cancer just like now. I once read an article where the writer tallied up all the drinking in one day from one of Hemingway's books. It was astonishing, the amount of booze downed between two people (a woman and a man). It's almost as if the actual wine was just palate cleansing for the whiskey. But we're talking bottles of the stuff in a day.

by Anonymousreply 139November 25, 2018 4:41 PM

Upper class and rich moms have always done it, but nowadays middle class moms are really getting in on the action. I see their fat Frau asses stumbling out of the Paint n Sip in every suburban shopping center. Those places aren't for rich moms. Neither are the restaurants luring in moms with promises of bottomless margaritas and nachos. The consequences for excessive drinking among middle and lower class moms are always worse. I have a middle class Frau cousin who drinks tequila at home and goes on Etsy and Amazon shopping binges. She has to drunk shop at home ever since getting a DUI en route to Target one night.

by Anonymousreply 140November 25, 2018 5:41 PM

I live in CT and these drunk wine mom bitches are all over the place. And EVERYBODY has to drive a car to get anywhere around here, it's very concerning given how many of them get totally wasted on a regular basis.

by Anonymousreply 141November 25, 2018 5:46 PM

The Louisiana gal here : I think we like to identify w the laisse faire attitude, partying, and tailgating. Like we are more fun than the other staid states.

But how do we classify an alcoholic?

by Anonymousreply 142November 25, 2018 6:33 PM

Remember the show Cougar Town? I think that helped to perpetuate women binging on wine at home.

by Anonymousreply 143November 25, 2018 6:35 PM

A wine and alcohol backlash might mean fewer fraus invading gay bars!

by Anonymousreply 144November 25, 2018 6:42 PM

Never, r144. NEVER!

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by Anonymousreply 145November 25, 2018 6:55 PM

I think we should start mandating that women go back to work, or at least volunteering, when their kids reach a certain age. Im tired of these lazy and indulged suburban upper middle class mommies whining about how hard they have it. Their daughters inevitably grow up to be lazy whores just like their mothers while their sons become entitled shits. I respect prostitutes more because at least they're actually earning their money. The only stay at home mothers that do any work are the ones running a farm or something .

by Anonymousreply 146November 25, 2018 8:05 PM

R108 then you don't know any asians. Dang they can drink!

by Anonymousreply 147November 25, 2018 11:55 PM

R141 I live in CT too and the drinking in Fairfield county is INSANE. Moms drink with the kids now once they are teens. Lots of car crashes too due to "deer" in the road.

by Anonymousreply 148November 26, 2018 12:05 AM

Mommie drinking culture has become an entire cottage industry for "Mommy Juice" wine glasses and related crap.

My elderly women relatives who are in their 80s and 90s were born during the Depression and lived through World War II and other horrors. To my knowledge they white knuckled through working class motherhood stone cold sober but did smoke cigarettes socially.

Why are today's women needing to be numbed at every turn?

by Anonymousreply 149November 26, 2018 4:47 AM

[quote] You spoke to someone in 1930's from Maine and you could actually imagine that you were speaking to the land itself.

MARY!!!

by Anonymousreply 150November 26, 2018 5:47 AM

LOL. Such pearl clutching. Where do all of you hissing gays live that you're so well acquainted with drunk mommy-fraus? I've lived in an affluent community for two decades. Lots and lots of helicopter super moms here. I've only known one to be a drunk, and it was quite the scandal. She was ostracized by the other perfect moms.

by Anonymousreply 151November 26, 2018 10:56 AM

r151 what I can tell you is that here in Fairfield County, these drunk bitches are everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 152November 26, 2018 11:51 AM

[quote]It's nuts. Booze is addictive. Once you train your body to like the taste of poison, you'll eventually get addicted.

This simply not true.

by Anonymousreply 153November 26, 2018 12:20 PM

The rate of alcoholism in France is actually quite high, R153.

by Anonymousreply 154November 26, 2018 12:48 PM

R151, the posters in this thread are mostly women.

by Anonymousreply 155November 26, 2018 2:42 PM

R154 Then let's take the case of Italy and Spain. Both of these countries drink wine with meals. I'm in Italy and people drink wine every day.

The rates of alcoholism are very low.

And on top of that, they both rank high in longevity. Both rank in the top 10...as does France by the way. 2017 figures place Italy at number 3...the highest in the West.

The statement: "It's nuts. Booze is addictive. Once you train your body to like the taste of poison, you'll eventually get addicted." is bullshit. There are many factors at play.

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by Anonymousreply 156November 26, 2018 3:49 PM

Alcoholism seems to bloom where drinking is considered an evil vice.

by Anonymousreply 157November 26, 2018 3:51 PM

r157, not according to the link at r156.

by Anonymousreply 158November 26, 2018 4:00 PM

Especially Data Lounge Frau's....they have knocked rx overuse for that liquid courage in multi-tudes.

by Anonymousreply 159November 26, 2018 4:16 PM

Those women new to affluence seem to believe all that wine is what the affluent do -- in the same way they consume Starbucks, as part of the money experience in which they were not brought up.

by Anonymousreply 160November 26, 2018 4:21 PM

[R160]

Don't they know,nothing is classy about a drunken woman.Nothing.

by Anonymousreply 161November 26, 2018 4:24 PM

Part of WASP culture is drinking to excess without turning a hair.

by Anonymousreply 162November 26, 2018 4:26 PM

Too many sanctimonious fraus on this thread to count. Awful people.

by Anonymousreply 163November 26, 2018 4:48 PM

R125 It’s that “crabs in a bucket” mentality common among the downtrodden - when one tries to climb out, the others pull her back down. The same goes for addicts in general - if they try to “get out” their addict friends keep dragging them down.

The victim mentality is especially dangerous for women because it rationalizes not only drinking in excess, but apathy and resignation - something females are already prone to by nature, as much as males are prone to being disagreeable and action-oriented by nature. IN GENERAL. I know - there are exceptions.

by Anonymousreply 164November 26, 2018 7:14 PM

I read this thread and think of Melania's word-jacket.

by Anonymousreply 165November 26, 2018 7:18 PM

Alcohol is the new meth for Dee (and to a lesser extent Dan) Plorable.

by Anonymousreply 166November 26, 2018 7:31 PM

R157 very true . I’d also like to think it argues a bit for the superiority of “ethnic types” Jews, Italians, Mediterraneans in general, who are usually able to do thinks like drink with meals and on social occasions and not get addicted. It’s the Northern Europeans, WASPs, and of course Irish who have the freaking “problem” with this...

by Anonymousreply 167November 26, 2018 8:00 PM

R167 I’m sure you have, of course, read 156.

by Anonymousreply 168November 26, 2018 8:06 PM

R77 so you're saying their are NO uppercrust minority women?

That sounds racist to me

And Asian women are VERY well off, I know a few that are, self made, millionaires

by Anonymousreply 169November 26, 2018 8:24 PM

WASP hold their liquor better, and Jews are smart not to involve themselves with booze at all -- it affects them badly, which is sort of lucky when compared to the Irish. French and Italians (relaxed ) Catholics, but bored and/or chilled Scandinavians?

by Anonymousreply 170November 26, 2018 11:15 PM

Christ, the hate the fraus/ trans are the devil, divide and conquer trolls are working overtime this week.

by Anonymousreply 171November 26, 2018 11:58 PM

“The victim mentality is especially dangerous for women because it rationalizes not only drinking in excess, but apathy and resignation - something females are already prone to by nature”

Women aren’t prone to “by nature” to apathy and resignation, wtf?

To be a woman in this world is a perversion due to circumstances imposed by men.

by Anonymousreply 172November 27, 2018 12:32 AM

^^ Women are more moderate and introspective than men, who are creatures of extremes. Moderation can lead to malaise - and a daily bottle of vino.

As Camille Paglia said, “There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper.”

by Anonymousreply 173November 27, 2018 1:57 AM

There is no female Mozart because until fairly recently, most women had lives consisting of marriage and then motherhood and domestic slavery, with little to no time for things like art. Look at Mozart's sister Nannerl, also a very accomplished musician with whom he performed until his teens, and who was the featured performer in their early days. She hit 18 and was forced to quit performing and stay home after that, while he was free to keep going. Even if she had wanted to strike out on her own, the framework of society would not have permitted it - only with the sanction of her male relatives could a woman even dream of doing something like that, such were the strictures placed on what they could do, where they could go, how they could live. Get the fuck out with blaming that on women's 'moderation'.

by Anonymousreply 174November 27, 2018 5:23 AM

“As Camille Paglia said, “There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper.”

All that says is that men are mentally ill and violent to a degree women aren’t. Mozart was neither.

by Anonymousreply 175November 27, 2018 5:33 AM

Any sentence that begins "As Camille Paglia said," is going straight to hell in a handbasket. That vile cunt is not a DL fave.

If you must quote someone on this nonsense, quote Virginia. "Shakespeare had a sister..."

by Anonymousreply 176November 27, 2018 5:36 AM

R175 [quote] All that says is that men are mentally ill and violent to a degree women aren’t. Mozart was neither.

That IS the point - men are violent to a degree that women are not, but are also risk-takers in art, politics, academia, war, etc. Yes - equivalent female talent is out there, and it’s hamstrung by male oppression, but (socially conditioned? Brainwashed?) women play an inordinate role in their own oppression, willing to head to the bottle in defeat instead of soberly banding together and raising hell.

You can see examples of this disunity and disloyalty in the FGM debate, the “leadership” of the Women’s March, and the female republicans who vote for candidates aiming to turn the U.S. into a patriarchal theocracy. Until this changes, NOTHING will.

by Anonymousreply 177November 27, 2018 6:54 AM

R177 Much of modern, millennial type feminism seems to be based on whining and waiting for male rescue rather than doing anything for themselves. The earlier stages of the gay rights and women's movements were effective largely because they realized they needed to fight for themselves, rather than counting on others to do so.

by Anonymousreply 178November 27, 2018 7:03 AM

R178 I’ve noticed this also and wonder what has influenced this generation to demand white knights? Yet many of them, like silver-back gorillas, partner up with domineering male partners instead of “nice guys.” (Well, we are primates after all. Sexual selection at work.)

Even the modern Disney Princess has more drive and independence than some of the millennials who grew up watching their films. It makes me want to get out my Ouija board and summon Bea Arthur.

by Anonymousreply 179November 27, 2018 7:40 AM

R179 I'm not quite sure what is driving it, perhaps some of these women are more sheltered and protected early on than earlier generations and they grow used to that dynamic. Strangely enough, when it comes to pop culture (ie movies, books, and tv) they seem to hate "traditional " narratives of men rescuing or white knighting for helpless women. But in their day to day lives they seem to crave that dynamic, often at the expense of advocating for themselves and making good choices. Another factor might be that they see the anger and hostility projected towards "strong,independent and capable " women in the media and culture, so they try to appear meek and girlishly passive to gain approval.

by Anonymousreply 180November 27, 2018 8:03 AM

“That IS the point - men are violent to a degree that women are not, but are also risk-takers in art, politics, academia, war, etc. ”

Neither violence nor mental illness equal risk taking.

by Anonymousreply 181November 27, 2018 12:35 PM

True: Neither violence nor mental illness equal risk taking, R181, but those who are wired for extremes are more likely to experience or participate in all three. THAT is the point.

by Anonymousreply 182November 27, 2018 2:06 PM

R180 [quote] “Another factor might be that they see the anger and hostility projected towards ‘strong, independent and capable’ women in the media and culture, so they try to appear meek and girlishly passive to gain approval.”

Good point. Any woman who speaks out or is non-conforming gets whaled-on by critics (Amy Schumer, et al.) The promoted ideal is the sassy but non-threatening wine-Frau with Kardashian vocal fry. Not around in Maude’s time. And which gender does Kim K. primarily appeal to?

by Anonymousreply 183November 27, 2018 2:26 PM

Amy Schumer gets whaled on by critics because she's a one-note comic and not particularly funny. She's also getting pretty long in the tooth to still be doing the drunk slut routine.

by Anonymousreply 184November 27, 2018 2:28 PM

^^ That can be said of numerous male comics, though. Amy’s successful because she makes people laugh with her lowbrow humor. Like the guys do! Her comedy is also self-deprecating and critical of the infantilization of women in our culture.

But because she’s female, she can’t be crude. That’s gross, amirite? - Double standard.

by Anonymousreply 185November 27, 2018 2:36 PM

R178 and R179, I think your premises are ill-founded. Some women like to fall back on privileges that are founded on weakness, but that is an individual hypocrisy and not promoted by feminism. Similarly, all the straight women I know of the Gen X/Millenial generation married sane, capable men.

Where I think feminism sometimes falls down is when it assumes that equality = occupying the same roles as men, with no nuance. Hence the promotion (or at least passive acceptance) of binge drinking culture among women.

by Anonymousreply 186November 27, 2018 2:48 PM

My Frau aunt is drinking & also drugging herself to death with wrongly-prescribed antidepressants. It’s all because of her leech of a man and her undiagnosed OCD/inability to manage stress, but she won’t see it.

by Anonymousreply 187November 27, 2018 2:49 PM

[quote]“Similarly, all the straight women I know of the Gen X/Millenial generation married sane, capable men”

Wow. Any reason why they *all* decided to marry? It’s an institution based on the subjugation of women, one that promotes dependency by offering itself as an alternative to financial independence.

The idea of a straight woman remaining single and independent is apparently still taboo.

by Anonymousreply 188November 27, 2018 3:21 PM

JFC r188. People DO get married because they are in love, you know.

by Anonymousreply 189November 27, 2018 3:23 PM

Let me rephrase that for the nit-picky. All the straight women of that generation known to me who decided to get married, married sane, capable men.

by Anonymousreply 190November 27, 2018 3:26 PM

^^ “Capable?” No betas I’m guessing.

by Anonymousreply 191November 27, 2018 3:35 PM

Well - marriage is an excellent way to pool income to compensate for the gender gap but insidiously it also perpetuates the wage gap. One reason employers feel they can low-ball married straight women is the assumption their male partner will supplement their earnings.

And when it comes down to financial decisions in the marriage, arguments over who makes more money and how expenses should be divided based on each person’s income tend to flare up. I don’t care how “sane” or “capable” a man is - I’ve never met one who was OK with a 50/50 split divorce settlement.

by Anonymousreply 192November 27, 2018 4:24 PM

Wait, just you wait, how the woman uses the kids against the man in a divorce!!!! Just you wait!

by Anonymousreply 193November 27, 2018 4:49 PM

Right now, Hoda and Kathy Lee are leading a discussion about whether their audience want to give up wine or presents for the holidays.

The media is really pushing guzzling as cool for Mommies.

by Anonymousreply 194November 27, 2018 5:08 PM

R193 The notion that women should be the custodial parents stems from the idea that women are born nurturers while men are born competitors. The MRA types who rail against custody laws should examine their own views on gender essentialism.

Women should also consider this and stop claiming superior parenting skills based on their XX karyotype. Especially the ones who enjoy drinking morning Chardonnay on weekdays during playdates.

by Anonymousreply 195November 27, 2018 5:10 PM

R193 huge correction : How SOME women use the kids against the men during/after divorce!

by Anonymousreply 196November 27, 2018 6:14 PM

The promotion of wino mommy is creepy.

by Anonymousreply 197November 27, 2018 6:32 PM
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by Anonymousreply 198November 27, 2018 6:49 PM
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by Anonymousreply 199November 27, 2018 6:50 PM
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by Anonymousreply 200November 27, 2018 6:51 PM

For the breast-fed:

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by Anonymousreply 201November 27, 2018 6:58 PM

^ Huh? Is that actually a baby onesie??!! WHY?!!

by Anonymousreply 202November 27, 2018 8:33 PM

We Asians know, get the Round Eyes drunk and you close the deal!

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by Anonymousreply 203November 28, 2018 5:07 AM

Asians and alcohol:

@metpoliceuk

A pilot who was nine times over the alcohol limit for flying has been jailed for 10 months. Katsutoshi Jitsukawa, 42, was sentenced at Isleworth Crown Court today.

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by Anonymousreply 204November 29, 2018 4:57 PM

Same here R3. There is one woman I know who drinks like she's in college or 20s, and claims that European wine she shares a bottle or two of with a woman she is friends with does not get them drunk. She probably has a super high tolerance.

by Anonymousreply 205November 29, 2018 5:01 PM

Very true R14. I know very wealthy people who put their kids in posh prep schools and universities, and both the parents and kids drink like crazy. The parents would give alcohol to their underage teens, and not care if they get wasted. The parents have aged very poorly.

It's one thing to drink socially in moderation, like having a glass or two of wine or beer, or standard mixed drink with a meal, but these people drink like they are in their 20s and they are 40-70.

by Anonymousreply 206November 29, 2018 5:11 PM

R167 alcoholism and drug addiction can happen to anyone, even European and Israeli Jews, Southern Europeans/Italians and Greeks, etc.

The Nordic and Scandinavian countries have lots of alcoholism, because people are depressed and it is very cold.

by Anonymousreply 207November 29, 2018 5:15 PM

R203, most Asians get drunk and physically flush or turn red from low amounts of alcohol like 1-2 drinks. I have seen this happen with friends from Korea and China.

by Anonymousreply 208November 29, 2018 5:18 PM

R187 if she has OCD the anti depressants are for that. If she drinks they will not work, and if she is on benzo drugs and drinking that's extremely dangerous. Can you have a talk with her?

by Anonymousreply 209November 29, 2018 5:21 PM

R15 quit drinking now while you still can. Or are you the troll that claimed to be a trans escort?

by Anonymousreply 210November 29, 2018 5:22 PM

[quote]I’m a single slutty almost 37 year old non- frau.

We'll be the judges of THAT.

by Anonymousreply 211November 29, 2018 5:22 PM

R42 there are lots of "people of color" who love to get drunk. I know black, Latinos, native American/first Nations Indians, and Asian men and women who drink like they're in college or their 20s every night only they are a lot older.

by Anonymousreply 212November 29, 2018 5:30 PM

R177 stop taking so many completely useless women's studies, gender studies, and queer theory classes. FGM and male circumcision are both done for the same reasons, and both are bad as each other.

by Anonymousreply 213November 29, 2018 5:35 PM

Okay, so I think we've pretty much established that everyone likes to drink. Except maybe a few Hindus, Sikhs, Baptists, Muslims, Amish and Mormons.

by Anonymousreply 214November 29, 2018 5:36 PM

R173 please, there have been lots of women who are serial killers, sexual sadists, who murder their own kids or other women/kids. Don't pretend it has never happened. Watch some deadly women episodes.

by Anonymousreply 215November 29, 2018 5:38 PM

It's just a phase due to the Dystopian Trump era. Drinking rates are going to take a celebratory hike and then a dive when he's jailed. Hiccup!

by Anonymousreply 216November 29, 2018 5:46 PM

True R214 I know many South Asians who love to drink, and drink daily. Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Desi/Indian Christians, and Muslims. A LOT of Muslims both Asian and Middle Eastern drink in secret or with friends, or when they emigrate to the Western world for university openly drink.

I have also met Amish, Mennonite, and former Amish/Mennonites that drink in excess, and Baptists also drink, and Mormons who get drunk as well.

I drank a lot in my 20s while attending a university, and with a group of friends I grew up with after graduation when we were in our mid 20s. I rarely drink at all now, since I am extremely busy and low amounts of alcohol like a glass of wine or beer just make me feel tired.

by Anonymousreply 217November 29, 2018 5:47 PM

R216 alcoholism has happened all throughout history.

by Anonymousreply 218November 29, 2018 7:38 PM

I would like to date you, R20

by Anonymousreply 219November 29, 2018 7:44 PM

"Moms just aren't going to call home and say they're stopping for a couple drinks after work with friends or going to the gym to unwind," the Los Angeles woman says.

Otherwise, they might feel like parenting failures as they compare themselves to other moms. So they drink wine while they make dinner, which can lead to a nightly pattern of excessive drinking.

by Anonymousreply 220November 29, 2018 7:56 PM

I just don't know how they do it. I had my last bad hangover at 33... took me about five days to feel normal after it. Don't these people just reach a point where they want to feel healthy?

by Anonymousreply 221November 29, 2018 8:09 PM

The Repugs have created a dystopian death culture and people are looking for any way out of it they can.

by Anonymousreply 222November 29, 2018 8:12 PM

Why, then, is the liberal media of Harvey Weinstein pushing the wino mommy meme so hard?

by Anonymousreply 223November 29, 2018 8:13 PM

Hard liquor has always been the go to drug of the right!

by Anonymousreply 224November 29, 2018 8:30 PM

I've definitely noticed this phenomenon amongst my female friends. What's also odd is that this phenomonon (at least from what I've observed) doesn't seem to affect men nearly as hard. The media is certainly to blame for part of it. I recently spoke to my sister on this topic. She's in her early 40s, has three kids and a husband. Every weekend, her and her neighborhood girlfriends wander from each others houses drinking over the course of the entire weekend, and sometimes during the week. A lot of good points made above my post. One thing I would add is a question as to why people (later in life) fall into such drinking habits. I was a relatively tame teen. I didn't have my first sip of alcohol until I was 18, and I never actually got drunk until I was in my early 20s. My mid and later 20s were my big party years. After enduring a DWI, lots of blackouts, and some problems that generally came along with drinking, I ultimately decided to severely limit that activity. I enjoy drinking and even getting drunk as much as the next person. But now, in my 30s, I can't imagine dealing with lengthy debilitating hangovers and the problems associated with frequent drinking (work issues, DWIs, family problems, wight and health issues, etc.), and the fact that socializing, whether drunk or not, is taxing in and of itself. I just don't think I'd ever have the energy after the age of 40.

by Anonymousreply 225November 29, 2018 8:51 PM

[quote]FGM and male circumcision are both done for the same reasons, and both are bad as each other.

FFS male circumcision has no physical or psychological effects, unlike FGM which is something completely different and barbaric.

by Anonymousreply 226November 29, 2018 8:55 PM

Sooo... how did a thread about excessive wine consumption turn into an argument about female genital mutilation? Oh wait - we’re on DL.

by Anonymousreply 227November 29, 2018 9:08 PM

I was so done with the drinking a bar scene by my late 20s, and I always imagined getting married would be the golden ticket away from that. Now it looks like getting married and having kids is/would only pull me back into the high school years of feeling pressured to drink to feel a part of the crowd.

How lame.

by Anonymousreply 228November 29, 2018 9:10 PM

I like to drink and I have the kind of metabolism where I don't really get hungover the next day, but if I had kids I can't imagine drinking to excess like these people do.

by Anonymousreply 229November 29, 2018 9:12 PM

R221 do you still drink at all? Hangovers suck, so that is why I don't drink in excess.

R226 they both are completely unecessary, and in some countries FGM is done in hospital just like MGM is in the United States. The genitals of boys and girls shouldn't be mutilated. If they want it done for religious reasons or whatever, the boy or girl can wait until they are an adult and get their genitals mutilated by their own choice.

by Anonymousreply 230November 29, 2018 9:14 PM

Oh STFU r230. FGM and male circumcision are two very different things. Male circumcision is done for hygenic reasons, and nobody's had a nervous breakdown over it.

by Anonymousreply 231November 29, 2018 9:18 PM

It’s an act of despair.

Recently I read a Washington Post article about how parenthood is actual the least happy stage in your life. I think that’s true—there are tons of things about it that really and truly suck. You and your interests come last for years and years. The kids must come first. The love and all the good stuff does not make up for that. The sacrifice must be made; it’s what you signed up for.

Drinking takes the edge off I suppose.

Plus, life is much harder now in certain ways than it was for our mothers. We have so many contradictions to deal with about motherhood, careers, and even the stigma of being a stay at home parent.

I can’t condone the drinking. But I can understand it.

by Anonymousreply 232November 29, 2018 9:19 PM

R228 it is pretty common. Out of the many gay couples I know who have married a lot have husbands that cheat, and the rest drink way too much.

I briefly dated an alcoholic who hid it very well so I would now never date, partner, marry or stay married to a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.

by Anonymousreply 233November 29, 2018 9:22 PM

If I had kids I would be drinking all the time. I would be miserable with having to take care of them.

by Anonymousreply 234November 29, 2018 9:22 PM

And yet Hollywood and all those TV shows are cheerleading this scary behavior

by Anonymousreply 235November 29, 2018 9:23 PM

R230 Now and then a beer with Mexican or BBQ, or a glass of wine with other meals.

IDK, if I were to take a fun vacation with a group of people I genuinely liked and went to a great club one night I'm sure I'd drink more than that, but overall I don't drink much. I never really craved it, don't really have a yen for alcohol (I'm more of a food person)... but I still drank along with everyone else in college through my early 30s. You'd never know I didn't even like most of the stuff I was guzzling.

The idea of drinking in various houses in a suburb somewhere makes me shudder.

by Anonymousreply 236November 29, 2018 9:25 PM

R231 in cultures and countries where FGM is done they do it for hygenic purposes. Yes there have been men who had nervous breakdowns from having their genitals mutilated and not being able to keep their foreskin.

Also, a woman's vagina produces way more smegma, and even yeast than a man's foreskin does, and no infant or kid should have his or her genitals mutilated.

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by Anonymousreply 237November 29, 2018 9:30 PM

Amongst the parents is there a division between the drinkers and non-drinkers? Is it super cliquey?

by Anonymousreply 238November 29, 2018 9:31 PM

I’m a mom and happier than I was before. It’s hard but sweet caring for this little one. I could never have more than one child. I know my emotional and financial limits.

I stil get to pursue my interests. I have less time, but more focus.

I used to be a heavy drinker but I feel good being sober and “there” for my daughter.

Please, before you scream Die Frau Die! My dearest brother was gay and I took care of him in his final months of pancreatic cancer. Before he got sick I was the hag/little sister of his crowd. I partied like crazy with them. The most fun I’ve ever had. DL is a comforting place for me. It’s so familiar!

Peace,

by Anonymousreply 239November 29, 2018 9:40 PM

R239 was your brother an alcoholic? Sorry for your loss.

by Anonymousreply 240November 29, 2018 9:41 PM

STFU r237.

by Anonymousreply 241November 29, 2018 9:42 PM

R241 don't get mad that your parents or some quack doctor or surgeon mutilated your cock or if you are the Frau above that you did this to your son. YOU are the only one having a nervous breakdown.

The penile foreskin is a natural and integral part of the normal male genitalia. The foreskin has a number of important protective and sexual functions. It protects the penile glans against trauma and contributes to the natural functioning of the penis during sexual activity. ... during sexual activity the foreskin is a functional and highly sensitive, erogenous structure, capable of providing pleasure to its owner and his potential partners.

As clinical sexologists, we are concerned about the human rights aspects associated with the practice of nontherapeutic circumcision of young boys. To cut off the penile foreskin in a boy with normal, healthy genitalia deprives him of his right to grow up and make his own informed decision. Unless there are compelling medical reasons to operate before a boy reaches an age and a level of maturity at which he is capable of providing informed consent, the decision to alter the appearance, sensitivity and functionality of the penis should be left to its owner, thus upholding his fundamental rights to protection and bodily integrity.

Every person's right to bodily integrity goes hand in hand with his or her sexual autonomy.

by Anonymousreply 242November 29, 2018 9:51 PM

You sound nice R239.

Did your brother get to meet your child?

by Anonymousreply 243November 29, 2018 9:54 PM

Jesus r242 get some fucking help. Guys with cut cocks are doing just fine, thanks.

by Anonymousreply 244November 29, 2018 10:27 PM

Good god R242, blocked. Stay on topic tard!

by Anonymousreply 245November 29, 2018 10:47 PM

R221 that's my thought and I agree entirely with your assertion. And that's what I don't get. Drinking makes you feel shitty, regardless of the high you might get while doing it. I don't understand how some people endure it.

by Anonymousreply 246November 29, 2018 10:50 PM

Thank you, R243.

My brother died a year before my daughter was born. I know they would have loved each other. I keep lots of photos of him around and talk about him a lot.

by Anonymousreply 247November 30, 2018 1:06 AM

R239 My Uncle was an alcoholic that died young of pancreatic cancer that was most likely brought on many years of chronic drinking. I'm very sorry for your loss.

by Anonymousreply 248November 30, 2018 1:12 PM

Exactly R235.

by Anonymousreply 249December 1, 2018 11:14 AM

I agree, R16. I'm in my 30s and it's rather common and acceptable for groups of 30something women to get together on Saturday and Sunday mornings and getting totally sloshed at bottomless brunches, and be drunk the rest of the day. And yes, quite a few of them are drunk mommies with kids.

by Anonymousreply 250December 1, 2018 11:23 AM

^And yet somehow the fact that they're getting drunk on bottomless mimosas and blood marys during the daytime is more acceptable than going out to nightclubs and getting drunk on shots and long islands (like they did during their 20s).

by Anonymousreply 251December 1, 2018 11:25 AM

“What a drag it is getting old. 'Life’s just much too hard today,' I hear every mother say. 'The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore…'”

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by Anonymousreply 252January 2, 2019 10:43 AM

Speaking of the French, they have a high rate of dependence without addiction, an extremely rare combination in the United States.

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by Anonymousreply 253January 6, 2019 8:25 PM

Someone upthread nailed it when they mentioned the “i’m a cool mom” culture that’s proliferated (of course, they’re not remotely cool; they’re textbook fraus). It’s a desperate attempt to create rebellion or edge in an otherwise boring, cookiecutter life. It shouldn’t be the case, but for some reason MANY women continue to give up their identities when they become mothers, only to seriously regret it later. A lot of women are unhappy; they’re in unhappy marriages, and secretly regret having children.

The whole wine-o-clock thing is also part of a bigger cultural trend of what I refer to as “adulting” (grown men and women that act like children and constantly bitch about how hard adulthood is). Grown adults that flock to superhero movies. Grown adults that eat junk food constantly. Grown adults that think its ok to drag their kid out to a bar or an R rated movie. Adults are so immature now.

by Anonymousreply 254January 6, 2019 8:53 PM

I quit drinking when I got pregnant and remained sober. I know how I look at boozy women who don't stay at home (sober) and take care of their children and I didn't want to be that woman.

If you love your child more than yourself, you make the sacrifice.

by Anonymousreply 255January 6, 2019 8:56 PM

Perhaps it's to convince us of how fun-loving they are, when in reality, they derive little genuine joy at all out of their lives.

by Anonymousreply 256January 7, 2019 1:10 AM

Cultural Expectations and Resisting the Lure of the Surgeon's Knife For Yet Another Year: An Analysis

by Anonymousreply 257January 7, 2019 12:16 PM

I've always been a talker so it's not my problem but I have some coworkers who are complete duds until they drink so they do it to make themselves feel better socially

by Anonymousreply 258January 7, 2019 12:26 PM

Everyone in middle age is drinking more it seems. Life kinda sucks for most people right now. And having kids is not a solution - even though people think it is, especially women. Life is suffering - and alcohol helps you forget that momentarily.

As a middle aged gay man, I don’t feel bad about drinking - no responsibilities or obligations that I’m avoiding. I go out 3-4 times a week to the gay bars for happy hour but never drink at home. Most shrinks would say functioning alcoholic. But after going through periods of sobriety and seeking brother and sister - who did not drink and lead perfectly healthy lifestyle - die of cancer before 50, I’ve made a rational decision that I’m going to find happiness where I can. Buddhism, a few nights at the pub and walks in nature are my joys - I don’t see going them up at 50.

by Anonymousreply 259January 7, 2019 3:48 PM
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by Anonymousreply 260April 15, 2019 12:08 PM

The problem is drunkenness so the drug is alcohol. Wine is alcohol. It's not a "gateway drug". Are these wino mommies moving on to Crocodile n Crack?

by Anonymousreply 261April 15, 2019 12:20 PM

Don't blame us for having an influence, its not like the only people who watch us are stay at home moms. Just because we get liquored up every morning on TV doesn't mean they should too

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by Anonymousreply 262April 15, 2019 12:28 PM

The French are in denial about their alcohol problem. They love to glamorize or rationalize it like the link in R253's post. Much like they still embrace smoking.

"Marisol Touraine said France was renowned for its healthcare but needed to do more in terms of preventing diseases. She said there was a very French form of denial over the hazards of alcohol, which is believed to cause an estimated 50,000 premature deaths a year in France"

by Anonymousreply 263April 15, 2019 12:38 PM

I’m a woman and parent and I’m very careful about my alcohol consumption. Usually I roll my eyes at the conformist moms with their cutesy “mommy needs her wine!” schtick, but it’s serious. It always does seem to be a certain type.

Went out one night for a “mom’s night out” with some school moms. I nursed a single whiskey and water the entire night, to be social, and the women who drank four and five glasses were like “Oh, that’s hardcore! You’re a serious drinker!” I guess if it’s wine, it doesn’t count.

by Anonymousreply 264April 15, 2019 1:33 PM

There is no difference between "alcohol addiction" and "alcohol dependence". Alcohol dependence is a clinical diagnosis that was described in the DSM. It has been replaced with the diagnosis of alcohol use disorder in the latest DSM V.

Basically if I try to bill insurance for "alcohol addiction" I will not reimbursed as that is not an acceptable billable diagnosis. Alcohol dependence and alcohol use disorder are accepted diagnoses.

And the French do have a higher rate of alcohol abuse/misuse, which is not surprising given the deterioration of quality of life for many French post great recession.

by Anonymousreply 265April 15, 2019 1:40 PM

Mommies think wine has health benefits so it's harmless.

It's not. It also raises your cancer risk.

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by Anonymousreply 266April 15, 2019 1:44 PM

I saw an example of a drunken frau at a gay piano bar on Saturday night, cackling like a hen and basically trying to take over as she made dogs bark hundred miles away. She couldn't easily find her wallet to tip so she dumped her entire purse on the piano all the while screeching and trying to take over. A few weeks ago, another drunken frau flashed her tits to the mostly gay male crowd in an attempt to get attention. I could care less about seeing her sagging jugs, but the motivation was disgusting and she showed herself for the Henrietta Hippo/Petunia Pigg that she is.

by Anonymousreply 267April 15, 2019 2:07 PM

I’m not sure what the serving size is, but I think a small glass of red wine is somewhat beneficial. The problem is that many people can’t moderate their consumption and are underestimating what constitutes a “serving size”.

And somehow wine is more ladylike and genteel than beer or hard liquor.

by Anonymousreply 268April 15, 2019 2:08 PM

I'm the opposite of most. If I'm out with friends, I may have 1 glass of wine, if that, because I usually drive myself home. If I'm home, I may have 2 or 3 glasses (and my wine glasses at home are 5 oz.)

I'm a petite female, but I have always had a high tolerance and generally don't have hangovers, so I have to be careful

by Anonymousreply 269April 15, 2019 2:18 PM

R264 I know women ages 40-70 who drink like they are still in their 20s or attending a university and just became of age to legally drink.

Many use the excuse that wine is healthy, or some believe they do not get drunk when they have a super high tolerance.

I have multiple gay male friends in their 50s who still drink like they are in their 20s, are all fat and bloated from the booze, and think they look great.

R267 so what do the drunk elder queens at that bar do for attention?

by Anonymousreply 270May 10, 2019 7:33 PM
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