Signs that a movie will be horrible

No pre-sceenings for critics.

It stars someone who became famous via a scandal

It has a superhero.

Some has been pop star lies and makes it out to be her big screen debut.

In the trailer, someone says, "I'll never give up on you."

It was a comic book first.

The trailer is the best part of the movie.

Made in Australia

Lynn Stairmaster predicts it will sweep the Oscars.

Orange filter.

Vancouver or Montreal stands in for New York City.

The trailer gives a two-second listing of the soundtrack artists, none of who were heard of more than three years ago.

An A-list actor's spouse or child has lead billing.

Promo blurb "[star|director] fans will love this" -- completists only need watch.

Phonograph needle scratch sound stopping trailer music to connote a major sudden change in protagonist's situation.

Three-dimensional/computer animation of beloved, wildly popular 20th-century comic strip character.

Trailer touts ecstatic reviews from "Ain't it Cool" and "Rotten Tomatoes."

It's a remake/reboot/rehash of a movie that came out like 15 years ago

Olivia Munn or Olivia Wilde are in it

Madonna plays the lead and attempts one more time to act.

Boasts great date night movie.

GAP Playlist Troll is music consultant.

Usually when it ends with the words "Part 3", "The Third Chapter", etc. Also look out for the words "Return to..."

I'll go one better, R18 -- any movie that has to closely tie itself to an event ("Sure to be a Christmas classic for years to come!") is desperate.

Sandra Bullock stars.

[quote]Trailer touts ecstatic reviews from "Ain't it Cool" and "Rotten Tomatoes."

Or a critic you've never heard from some flyover newspaper/TV station, or a critic who's known for never giving a bad review.

Ten minutes of beginning credits.

It stars the offspring of a former movie star.

people died making it.

"From the studio that brought you..."

Not exactly a specific indication of quality.

When the quote on the trailer/poster praises the cinematography. ("Four stars!")

Stars an actor named "Chris."

A supermodel has a hefty role in it. There are few exceptions, 5th Element being one.

The tagline always starts with:

"This time it's personal."

In promoting the film they keep bringing up someone's nude scene(s).

When there are multiple commercials presenting the movie from every story line angle possible.

It's a comedy!

It's an action film!

It's a romcom!

It's a heartfelt drama!

It's a film for the whole family!

Read between the lines. Look for words, phrases in the trailer script like “revival, In a world, in a time, in a place..., triumphant return to the screen, sequel, winner of Palme d’or, everyone’s favorite (fill in the blank). If the trailer script sounds like a movie you’ve seen before, it’s probably dreck.

Julia Roberts is in it.

I’ve found that whenever a movie commercial has the release date chyron on the screen from beginning to end, it tends to be garbage.

Will Smith is in it.

Trailer shows entire movie.

"If you only see one movie this year..."

The lead actors/actresses were models before branching off into film.

If it is marketed as a sequel or prequel.

Anytime a free screening pass is offered.

I usually lose interest the minute I hear a voice-over narration at the beginning of a film.

The trailer's narration starts with "In a world where..." something, followed by a pause, as an action clip is shown, then the narrator says, "it took one man..." then another pause as another action clip is shown, then "to make..." followed by the opposite of whatever the first thing was.

When top billing goes to Henry Cavill or Matt Damon.

It's anything to do dancers or singers struggling to become famous.

The credits are in Comic Sans

She is in it.

If the taxes aren't taken out first from Fan Bingbing's paycheck.

'by director bradley cooper'

Its a remake of a beloved classic or has absurd stunt casting.

If I’m not in it.

_______ has never been better!

Ansel Elgort stars as Tony

The studio doesn't air it in advance for critics to review.

The poster is awful

Nicolas Cage's BIG COMEBACK!

"An Alan Smithee Joint."

If the trailer describes the film as quirky or edgy.

If everyone’s name must be preceded by an award win/nomination: starring Oscar winner Streep, Oscar nominee Amy Adams and Golden Globe nominee _______. If you’re not an Oscar winner/nominee, it’s not worth mentioning.

Starring Adam Sandler

A movie that originally had a white cast remade with a black cast

r61 Cameron Diaz, Rose Byrne, and Bobby Cannavale are black?

The good - Madonna in a supporting role

The bad - Madonna is the lead

The ugly - Directed by Madonna!

The PR shills start threads on DL saying it has Oscar buzz.

A handgun on the movie poster, with actors making intense faces in red or blue lighting and a shapley, young actress in the background.

No R62, but Jamie Foxx and little black Annie are

You get a used scratch n sniff card.

"The PR shills start threads on DL saying it has Oscar buzz."

ROFLMAO, this one is so true! There was some troll saying that The Other Boleyn Girl was going to get tons of Oscar nominations including Best Actress for Natalie Portman.....then the movie actually came out, to mediocre box office and "meh" reviews.

One word quotes from critics, movie blogs, and tweets.

Directed by Michael Bay.

All action, family/kids and horror movies.

Framing a character from an much older time as "feminist".

R72, feminism existed in the past.

Released in January to March or August.

It has Emma Watson in it.

The only positive review is from Walter Monheit.

I love you r76!

Adam Sandler is in it.

The blue screen does all the work in the movie.

There's a group dance scene at the end of the trailer or a snippet of (middle-aged) women singing into hair brushes.

Shut up G at R80

"But they didn't count on....one man!"

An aging action hero, long past his prime, is kicking the asses of ripped 25 year-old men.

r83 just described every Liam Neeson movie

Starring Oprah.

The theme song is by Eminem.

It's released on VOD the same day

Dumped in, like, 5 theaters to hide the fact that Kevin Spacey's in it

Allison Janney is not in it.

Mariah Carey is in it.

I'm not in it or I passed on it.

Any involvement of Adam Sandler.

An HD copy is up on the streaming sites at the same time the movie hits theaters.

Any shot that has the lead characters walking in a group towards the camera in slow motion.

If it's a "triumph of the human spirit" Oscar bait movie

[quote]If it's a "triumph of the human spirit" Oscar bait movie

"He thought losing his arms and legs was his biggest challenge, and then the Holocaust happened. From the Academy Award®-winning director (insert name of director who hasn't made an interesting movie in at least 15 years) comes a triumph of the human spirit....."

Angelina Jolie is somehow involved, as an actress, director, producer, etc.

Amy Schumer is in it

Geraldine Chaplin is not in it.

Judd Apatow is somehow involved with it.