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Let's be the Kennedy Family!

I'm the bitchy rhyme Ethel made up to make up the way Jackie says her full first name!

"Jack-LEEN... rhymes with QUEEN!"

by Anonymousreply 14610/15/2018

I'm the part of Rosemary's brain that was lobotomized.

by Anonymousreply 110/09/2018

I'm Joan Kennedy being forced to attend the funeral of Mary Jo Kopechne.

by Anonymousreply 210/09/2018

I'm the snot under Ethel's fingernails.

by Anonymousreply 310/09/2018

I'm the linked-arms pose Joe Sr. favors for us!

by Anonymousreply 410/09/2018

I am Rose. I am too busy hanging out with priests and bishops and what not to notice my husband is banging Gloria Swanson. Whoops another damn kid just dropped outta me.

by Anonymousreply 510/09/2018

I'm Ethel's SORE cooter!

by Anonymousreply 610/09/2018

Glug glug glug.*

*translated: "I'm Mary Jo Kopechne."

by Anonymousreply 710/09/2018

I'm the plane that Kick Kennedy died in.

by Anonymousreply 810/09/2018

I'm the upcoming Rosemary Kennedy biopic starring Elisabeth Moss.

by Anonymousreply 910/09/2018

We should start a club r8.

by Anonymousreply 1010/09/2018

I'm Joe Sr wondering what that fairy friend of Jack's from Harvard is doing hanging out here all the time.

by Anonymousreply 1110/09/2018

I'm the tree Michael Kennedy skied into.

by Anonymousreply 1210/09/2018

I am Bobby’s side pussy because you know he was fucking around

by Anonymousreply 1310/09/2018

I'm the Kennedy men inspecting the merchandise the first time Jack brought Jackie home. She's no Gene Tierney but she'll put out to anyone who is rich so we guess she'll do.

by Anonymousreply 1410/09/2018

I'm The Knickerbocker Club in NYC who won't admit you because you are (ahem) Catholic.

by Anonymousreply 1510/09/2018

I'm Mary Pinchot Meyer, JFK's mistress who was mysteriously murdered.

by Anonymousreply 1610/09/2018

I'm Patrick Schwarzenegger. Do I count or is my bloodline too diluted to be a true Kennedy?

by Anonymousreply 1710/09/2018

If you die in a plane crash you'll be a Kennedy.

by Anonymousreply 1810/09/2018

I'm Bronson Pinchot and I'm broke.

by Anonymousreply 1910/09/2018

The Kennedys...America's royal family.

by Anonymousreply 2010/09/2018

I'm r20, one of the family's many enabling sycophants.

by Anonymousreply 2110/09/2018

I'm Bobby Jr. and Chris Lawford's cunnilingus contest! Woo-hoo! PAR-TAY!

by Anonymousreply 2210/09/2018

I'm Lem Billings Kennedy cockgobbler extrordinare.

by Anonymousreply 2310/09/2018

I'm a pair of worn L.L. Bean khakis, and I'm not even sure who I belong to anymore. Whatever.

by Anonymousreply 2410/09/2018

I'm the third member of the plane club.

by Anonymousreply 2510/09/2018

I'm the tree that Michael Kennedy crashed into.

by Anonymousreply 2610/09/2018

R26 Sorry, I already said that. R12

by Anonymousreply 2710/09/2018

I'm GAP Playlist Troll and even I'm creeped out by the OCD afflicted Kennedy Stans on DL. One of them lives secretly in the attic of a house opposite the Kennedy Compound in Hyannis Port, where winters are long. He may not make it through another.

by Anonymousreply 2810/09/2018

I’m Pat Kennedy Lawford’s double old fashioned glass - never empty (unless I was passed out) from morning till night.

by Anonymousreply 2910/09/2018

I'm Rosemary. I'm not an herb-- I'm a vegetable.

by Anonymousreply 3010/09/2018

I'm Joan Kennedy's liquor cabinet. I get emptied fast.

by Anonymousreply 3110/09/2018

I'm Rose's papal title of countess. I get trotted out all the time when she's in Europe, but am tactfully not used when she's in the US.

by Anonymousreply 3210/09/2018

I'm uh Caroline Kennedy and uh I'm a stuck up bitch.

by Anonymousreply 3310/09/2018

I'm the professional face-sharpener employed by the family's women.

Behold, my masterpieces!

by Anonymousreply 3410/09/2018

I'm John-John's treasure trail heading south on the Kennedy Compound.

by Anonymousreply 3510/09/2018

I'm Jean Kennedy Smith, the last living sibling!

I am eager to share my skincare secrets with you.

by Anonymousreply 3610/09/2018

I’m Dr William Kennedy Smith and I’ll be examining you today - now please lay back and put your feet in the stirrups, good girl.

by Anonymousreply 3710/09/2018

I'm the dark deeds and deals done by Joe Kennedy that led karma to smite (and smite and smite) his spawn.

by Anonymousreply 3810/09/2018

I'm a bored shitless Jackie, filling up yet another ashtray with Pall Mall butts on the porch at Hyannisport, having to endure watching yet another idiotic touch football game on the lawn.

by Anonymousreply 3910/09/2018

I'm Rose, going on another shopping spree to the Continent, leaving my children in the nanny's care.

by Anonymousreply 4010/09/2018

I’m the poor, lowly Kennedy Staff Member ordered to clean all the blood and brain matter out of the Presidential Lincoln Continental limousine once it arrived back at Washington DC from Dallas. And I even used Bon Ami!

by Anonymousreply 4110/09/2018

I'm the maid that Peter Lawford claimed he heard Ethel call "stupid n*gger" because I tossed some scrap paper with scribbles on it. How's I to knows that the late honorable Senator Kennedy had created them there notes ?

by Anonymousreply 4210/09/2018

I'm some of the help at the Kennedy compound in Hyannisport. All of us are white because the old man won't have colored help so we're mostly shanty Irish.

by Anonymousreply 4310/09/2018

I’m someone who knew too much...

by Anonymousreply 4410/09/2018

I'm Mary Pinchot Meyer, JFK's mistress. My diary mysteriously vanished immediately after I was murdered.

by Anonymousreply 4510/09/2018

I’m Rose’s half empty bottle of nail polish being returned to the drugstore by a maid. Rose expects a refund.

by Anonymousreply 4610/09/2018

I'm the Persian carpets at Hickory Hill ruined by Ethel's wildlife menagerie! The maids try to clean us up, but there's only so much you can do after you've been doused time and again in monkey piss and peacock shit.

by Anonymousreply 4710/09/2018

I'm Joe, Sr.'s big mouth, yapping forth his fascistic admiration and anti-Semitic inclinations. I will make it necessary for him to take a background role during his son's presidential campaign. Fortunately I will be largely stilled by a stroke in 1961, making his sons' political campaigns much easier.

by Anonymousreply 4810/09/2018

I’m a respected member of Ted Kennedy’s political staff visiting Ethel at her home. I am mesmerised, watching many of Ethel’s very young children, nieces and nephews doing cannonballs out of a second story window as they try to land on the cheap trampoline below. Ethel watches but shows no interest in their antics.

by Anonymousreply 4910/09/2018

We're the Gargans, always treated like red-headed stepchildren. I mean, we ARE red-headed stepchildren, but still...

by Anonymousreply 5010/10/2018

I'm the 10th Duke of Devonshire. I think the Kennedy Curse rubbed off on me.

by Anonymousreply 5110/10/2018

I'm the peach cobbler the family has for desert.

by Anonymousreply 5210/10/2018

i'm the buck teeth and overused pencil dicks of the Kennedy boys

by Anonymousreply 5310/10/2018

I'm Ethel's boogers, being tossed onto the Persian rugs at Hickory Hill.

by Anonymousreply 5410/10/2018

I'm the Howard Johnson's across from the Kennedy compound. Jackie and some of the other girls occasionally stop in for a clam roll, while the boys use our rooms with all the local sluts.

by Anonymousreply 5510/10/2018

I'm the Warren Commission report and I'm about as believable as Donald Trump's claims of being a self-made man.

by Anonymousreply 5610/10/2018

I'm old Rose, the only time they change my diaper, is when they roll me out on the porch for special events.

by Anonymousreply 5710/10/2018

I'm Jackie, with glazed-over eyes, listening to Rose yammer on and on and on about the Catholic Church and a blow-by-blow about what happened at her third Mass of the day. Where is Joan with her flask of whiskey? I need a cig too.

by Anonymousreply 5810/10/2018

I'm Joe Sr. , That Jackie is one Helllluva BITCH.

by Anonymousreply 5910/10/2018

I'm the "vitamin" shots given to President Kennedy. I give him lost of energy.

by Anonymousreply 6010/10/2018

I'm Rose wondering who that trollop Taylor Swift is who was trying to buy one of the houses on the compound.

by Anonymousreply 6110/10/2018

I'm Rose's church, St, Francis Xavier, on South St. in Hyannis.

by Anonymousreply 6210/10/2018

I’m the phone booth in which Bobby, er, um fucked Rudy.

by Anonymousreply 6310/10/2018

I’m the one Joe Jr. should have married...

by Anonymousreply 6410/10/2018

I'm mourning veils.

by Anonymousreply 6510/10/2018

I’m Scaasi designs, that don’t get discounted for First Ladies.

by Anonymousreply 6610/10/2018

I’m Ethel’s worn out pussy after having 11kids.

by Anonymousreply 6710/10/2018

Expanding on R50's post, I'm Joe Gargan and it's late 1966. I'm waiting/watching in the shadows for Joan Kennedy to pass out drunk somewhere.......anywhere **wink wink**

by Anonymousreply 6810/10/2018

I'm the Mid Cape roadside swale that Joan keeps driving into.

by Anonymousreply 6910/10/2018

I’m the rotgut bootleg liquor the family fortune’s built on

by Anonymousreply 7010/10/2018

I'm Joan's oft refilled cut crystal vodka decanter.

by Anonymousreply 7110/10/2018

I’m John Johns hot ass and cock.

by Anonymousreply 7210/10/2018

[quote]I’m Ethel’s worn out pussy after having 11kids.

I'm the tractor-trailer that could've driven through it like the Holland Tunnel.

by Anonymousreply 7310/10/2018

We're the Hyannisport police, dragging a blacked-out drunk Joan Kennedy from the backseat of another stranger's car, and taking her back home. We'll see her again in a week or two.

by Anonymousreply 7410/10/2018

^And I'm Joe Gargan again. I'll take it from here, guys! **wink wink**

by Anonymousreply 7510/10/2018

I'm John F. Kennedy's foreskin that was removed at the age of 21, the official reason being phimosis, but it was probably because it was so riddled with STDs that it was rotting off.

by Anonymousreply 7610/10/2018

I'm Rose and I hate to admit this but ...... I have a gorgeous new black mourning suit & all the accessories so if God wants to take another of my children, well, at least all eyes will be on me at the cathedral !

by Anonymousreply 7710/10/2018

ps ... And God, please before hemlines change. I'd just hate to have to spend $$$ on re-altering.

by Anonymousreply 7810/10/2018

I'm Martha Moxley..

by Anonymousreply 7910/10/2018


Not so. She was a Skakel family victim. The guilty boy's father Rushton Skakel was Ethel's brother. They are not Kennedys.

by Anonymousreply 8010/10/2018

I'm Pam Burkely and I JUST WANT TO REMIND all you gals out there who didn't learn by Turd's example at Chappaquiddick that getting into a vehicle with any Kennedy male can lead to disaster.

by Anonymousreply 8110/10/2018

I'm the Body Beautiful. That was my...whaddya cawl it......

by Anonymousreply 8210/10/2018

I'm the Cepacol mouthwash in Joan's glass. She tells everybody it's lemonade.

by Anonymousreply 8310/10/2018

I'm Kathie Lee Gifford, close family friend who had to run off the set of LIve with Regis and Kathie Lee when discussion of JFK Jr's death 'got to ME!'

by Anonymousreply 8410/10/2018


by Anonymousreply 8510/10/2018

I'm Gloria Swanson, rolling my eyes and chuckling contemptuously as Joe Sr. begs me to bear his child.

by Anonymousreply 8610/10/2018

just passing by....

by Anonymousreply 8710/10/2018

I'm a delusional old person, a leftover from the sixties, who still insists that the Kennedy family are America's royalty.

by Anonymousreply 8810/10/2018

I'm Suzy "Call me Suzy Chapstick" Chaffee, Olympic skier. I was schtuped by Teddy...

by Anonymousreply 8910/10/2018

I'm the genial host of You Don't Say!

by Anonymousreply 9010/10/2018

I’m the Kennedy shit they think doesn’t stink but it does.

by Anonymousreply 9110/10/2018

Omg! I’m R91. I can’t believe I wrote that, but I’m glad I did.

by Anonymousreply 9210/10/2018

Speaking of Kennedy shit, I'm the water faucet in the bathroom at the main house of the Hyannisport Compound Jackie turns on when she has to go to the bathroom to hide any unpleasant noises she might make. The sisters and Ethel are on to me, and find me hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 9310/10/2018

Hearing the trickling sound of running water facilitates urination.

by Anonymousreply 9410/10/2018

I'm the desperate plea for someone to please post the photo of Ethel picking her nose. I have looked everywhere for it to no avail.

by Anonymousreply 9510/10/2018

We are the various inferior women's colleges (most of us Catholic) that most of the sisters attend. The boys get to go to Harvard, but the girls' education doesn't really matter to their parents since the girls exist only to breed and pray.

However, we are conveniently close to major shopping destinations in NYC and Philadelphia, and we also are useful for providing other heiresses for the girls' brothers to marry.

by Anonymousreply 9610/10/2018

I'm the lousy $25,000 inheritance that Joe Gargan received from his Aunt Rose. If I had been a larger inheritance Joe would have kept quiet about Chappaquiddick and Senatorial Privilege would have never been published.

by Anonymousreply 9710/10/2018

I'm the Kennedys' enormous wealth and privilege as they continue to talk about signs of discrimination against Irish Catholics as if it occurred sometime earlier that day instead of a hundred years ago.

by Anonymousreply 9810/10/2018

I'm Ted Kennedy's 18th glass of whiskey of the day.

by Anonymousreply 9910/10/2018

I'm CBK's slow decompositioning green Egyptian Musk Oil bought from an African vendor on Manhattan sidewalk in the 90s. I'm kept in the back of Lisa Besette's closet. Stored in a cigar box.

by Anonymousreply 10010/10/2018

I'm the homicidal suicidal ideation tantrum that finally clicked over the Long Island Sound one summer evening that forced our ashes to be scattered at sea.

by Anonymousreply 10110/10/2018

R95, see r3

by Anonymousreply 10210/10/2018

I'm Caroline's daughter Rose Schlossberg. I'm so glad that I got some of my Grandma Jackie's Bouvier looks instead of some of the hideous Kennedy looks.

by Anonymousreply 10310/10/2018

I'm drooling Joe Kennedy III.

by Anonymousreply 10410/10/2018

Thanks r102 how disappointing though. I always imagined her going in deep. Oh well.

by Anonymousreply 10510/10/2018

I'm the rollerblades that JFK Jr. used while shirtless.

by Anonymousreply 10610/10/2018

I'm Carolyn's sterling silver coke spoon.

by Anonymousreply 10710/11/2018

I'm the phrase "public service."

by Anonymousreply 10810/11/2018

I'm entitlement!

by Anonymousreply 10910/11/2018

I'm Joe Jr., and I was the hottest one of them all. Even before my plane blew up, I mean.

by Anonymousreply 11010/11/2018

I'm the dominant gene responsible for the monstrous Chiclet teeth that stubbornly keeps getting passed down from generation to generation.

by Anonymousreply 11110/11/2018

I'm the guidette from the Bronx. Assistant and marital advisor at failing George magazine. I've personally witnessed John's bouts with suicidal ideation on numerous occasions.

by Anonymousreply 11210/11/2018

Yes! R108. I refer to my time on this earth as "public service". Great gig if you just claim it.

by Anonymousreply 11310/11/2018

Sorry to break the chain-

but I gotta comment on how nice JFK Jr was to look at it. That was one sexy man.

by Anonymousreply 11410/11/2018

I’m one of JFK’s pubic Lem Billings teeth.

by Anonymousreply 11510/11/2018

I'm Ann Freeman, regretting everyday that my daughter married into this hubris filled nutty clan.

by Anonymousreply 11610/11/2018

We're the posted speed limit signs ignored around Hyannis Port. Forced to stare at the pet and wildlife carcasses rotting on the roadside. Crows would use as landing pads to swoop down on the road pizzas at daybreak.

by Anonymousreply 11710/11/2018

I'm the Jeep that Joe Kennedy II flipped.

by Anonymousreply 11810/11/2018

Grass stains on clothing after family flag football matches on the backyard would later press me into service. Household staff would simply "Shout it out!"

by Anonymousreply 11910/11/2018

Hey there! I'm the sturdy rafter in the back barn converted to artist studio that Mary had full trust in.

by Anonymousreply 12010/11/2018

The midatlantic loaner horse that threw Jackie using dead stop technique because of my allergies to her saturation of tar and nicotine

by Anonymousreply 12110/11/2018

I'm a Boiler Room girl who partied at Chappaquiddick and I helped in the cover-up.

by Anonymousreply 12210/11/2018

R111 Holy fucking shit! Are they in direct relation to the Windsors? You have all of that money and refuse to get your teeth sorted? I don't get that at all.

by Anonymousreply 12310/11/2018

[quote][R111] Holy fucking shit! Are they in direct relation to the Windsors? You have all of that money and refuse to get your teeth sorted? I don't get that at all.

There's nothing physically wrong with their teeth that would necessitate dental work (like overbite, crookedness). It's just that their teeth are so plastic-looking that they look like they're wearing oversized dentures or had overdone it on the veneers. It's like their version of the Hapsburg chin. As soon as you see those choppers on anyone, 99% of the time it's a Kennedy.

by Anonymousreply 12410/12/2018

Case in point about infamous "Kennedy teeth" (Maria Shriver and family).

by Anonymousreply 12510/12/2018

I think the 'teeth situation' is exacerbated by a lack of an upper lip.

by Anonymousreply 12610/12/2018

I'm a Shar-Pei. I'm often mistaken for a Kennedy woman.

by Anonymousreply 12710/12/2018

I'm the Oldsmobile in the water at Chappaquiddick.

by Anonymousreply 12810/12/2018

Out of all the Kennedy grandchild Rory is the most hideous one. Even Princess Caroline of Camelot isn't that horrible looking. Caroline's other daughter is ugly and so is the son.

by Anonymousreply 12910/12/2018

Jack Schlossberg is HOT!

by Anonymousreply 13010/12/2018

I'm Cheryl Hines Kennedy.

by Anonymousreply 13110/12/2018

I'm Jack Schlossberg's hideous nose.

by Anonymousreply 13210/12/2018

I'm Jack Schlossberg's middle name, so you don't just think he's some run-of-the-mill Jew.

by Anonymousreply 13310/12/2018

Let's be the Bush Family and see if OP still has a sense of humor!

by Anonymousreply 13410/13/2018

I'm Ted Kennedy Jr's amputated leg.

by Anonymousreply 13510/13/2018

I’m David the druggie that no one remembers cause I od’d 34 years ago

by Anonymousreply 13610/13/2018

I'm Patches Kennedy's gay voice.

by Anonymousreply 13710/13/2018

I'm Rachel Ward and I definitely remember David Kennedy.

by Anonymousreply 13810/13/2018

Re: the teeth. Linda Wachner has really long teeth, too. So do I.

by Anonymousreply 13910/13/2018

I grew up a southern WASP and everyone looked down their noses at the Kennedys. I used to think it was just because they are Catholic but I think it's more than that. That said I think most people felt the pain of the multi-generational losses they have had over the years.

by Anonymousreply 14010/13/2018

I’m the notion that we’re “lace-curtain Irish” but I’m incorrect.

by Anonymousreply 14110/13/2018

Shanty Irish

by Anonymousreply 14210/14/2018

I'm the middle aged drunk chauffeur dressed in drag from head to toe for some odd reason.....I purposely like to rile Rose while we're driving back and forth from Hyannis to Boston by saying "Well, here we are gain on your father's highway, Mrs. Kennedy." - "FRAAAAAANK! This is NOT my Fahthuh's HIGHWAAAAY!!!!" (the John Fitzgerald Expressway)

by Anonymousreply 14310/14/2018

I'm Conor Kennedy's mugshot after his arrest for defending a gay friend.

by Anonymousreply 14410/14/2018

I'm the unpaid bills that members of the family leave in their wake because the "common folk" are supposed to be thrilled to serve a Kennedy.

by Anonymousreply 14510/15/2018

I'm all of the girls and women that Kennedy boys and men have sexually assaulted. We could fill a stadium.

by Anonymousreply 14610/15/2018
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