Let's pretend we're a "Seinfeld" episode.

I'll only play along if I get to be Frank Costanza, the guy with the most laughs-to-script lines ratio.

I’m Elaine’s Jewfro

I’m the bleak but entirely realistic ‘interior design’ of Jerry’s apartment.

I'm the poison in the glue on the envelopes that killed George's fiance.

I will be Jerry's dorky white sneakers and stiff black jeans, which looked ridiculous even in 1990.

I'm the mouth-wateringly hairy chest of Elaine's profoundly dumb sometimes-boyfriend, David Puddy.

I'm Mulva.

I'm the $50 that Elaine says she'd accept in order to never see George again.

I'm Dan Cortese whom George falls madly in love with.

Who wouldn't???

I am JFK jr, object of Elaine's lust.

I'm Sue Ellen Mitschke, the Braless Wonder.

I'm the pee stain Poppy left on Jerry's new couch.

I'm the key to Elaine's locked vault of secrets.

I'm the salad being prepared in Kramer's shower.

I am a bowl of cereal, eaten by Jerry at any time of day or night.

I'm Joe Dimmaggio, having a cup of coffee at Dinky Donuts.

I am the bicycle that Elaine and Newman fought over

I am the Mulligatawny soup everyone queued up for.

I'm the Early Bird Special, favored by Jerry's parents.

I am the tooth brush of Jerry's girlfriend (DL fave Kristen Davis) that Jerry accidentally knocks into the toilet.

I'm the heat and the ragged clothing that Elaine is fearful of in Hell.

I am master of my domain.

I'm Elaine's dark, shapeless, prairie-style dress. Guess what? I'm baaaaack...

I’m the nip.

I'm a muffin top.

I am the puffy shirt

I'm the Schindler's List make-out session!

I'm Mr. Mandelbaum, and it's Go Time.

I am Poppy's pizza.

Eat me.

I am the Al Roker tv guide

I'm a 13-year-old boy who open-mouth kissed Elaine at his Bar Mitzvah, and proclaimed, "Now I'm a man!"

I'm the urban sombrero.

I'm the fake 31-inch waist marked onto Jerry's jeans to hide the fact he really was a 32.

I am the library detective.

I am the massage table that Jerry never got to use

I am James Spader's sweater, forever ruined by George's enormous head passing through it.

I'm Jerry's Nana. Elaine just told me to "drop dead!"

I am George’s shrinkage

I am the boy in the bubble

I'm Schnitzer's marble rye

I am Elaine’s dance move

I'm Jon Voight's (or possibly John Voight's) teeth marks on a pencil.

I'm Kramer's living room, decked out with the "Merv Griffin Show".

I'm the Puerto Rican Day episode in Season 9, which is the only episode not in syndication.

I’m the bar in the elder Seinfelds’ pullout couch.

You called me Shmoopy! You're Shmoopy!

Sadly, Jerry will choose the Soup Nazi's bisque over Shmoopy.

I'm the sweater that Jerry's mother looks for when Elaine begs for the air conditioning to be lowered.

I am the name that rhymes with clitoris

I’m Man-Hands

I am the mini mint that Kramer dropped in the operating room

I'm Uncle Leo's missing eyebrows.

I'm Bosco

I am Seven

I am fear, our most primal emotion.

I'm the presumed lack of availability of houses to rent in Tuscany.

I am the goldfish in the parking lot

I’m Elaine’s diaphragm that flew out of her purse when she tossed onto the coffee table.

I'm an un-rewound VHS tape of "Rochelle, Rochelle"

I am the cookies served in the first class flight cabin

R58 should have read Rochelle, Rochelle.

I am Mrs. Ross, enjoying cocktail hour. Where I live, every hour is cocktail hour.

I am Witchy Woman, Elaine’s song

I'm Dr. Reston

I'm Elaine, on my way to a drug test with urine "borrowed" from Jerry's mother.

I am the sponge unworthy guy

I am the hand gesture move George makes in the car when braking

I'm the wedding cake from the Duke and Duchess of Windsor's nuptials that Elaine ate from J Peterman's mini fridge

I am the Good Samaritan law in France, which lands them all in jail for having broken it in the last episode.

I'm the Dojo of 6 year olds being dominated by Kramer.

I'm Tim Watley.

I am the pretzels that’s making Kramer dry

I'm some ugly baby

I am the Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances!

I am John Germaine, a great sax player. Going "south of the border" is not in my repertoire.

I am the show about nothing George was trying to sell

I'm yadda, yadda, yadda.

I am the panties that Jerry’s girlfriend’s mom laid out for her

I'm Lloyd Braun. Wanna buy a computah?!

I'm Uncle Leo. Helllooo!!!

I'm Insanity Later.

I am Jerry the anti dentite

I'm the hair you sold me, with cake around it

I am the 2 colored biscuit, whatsthename ?

I’m gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I am the fruit shop that Kramer was barred from shopping

I'm the Summer of George.

I am the orgasms that Elaine faked with Jerry

I am Art Vanderlay.

I am Moviephone. Why don’t you just tell me which movie you want to see.

I'm the Jimmy legs. Kramer's got 'em.

I am the pez dispenser.

I am George, ensconced in velvet.

I am George's worlds and I am colliding.

I am one magic loogie!

I am the couch grass that sent George to the hospital but not before the ambulance crashed .

I am It. I took It. Out.

I'm the Bizarro World.

I'm the dingo that may or may not have eaten your baby.

I am three squares. I cannot be spared.

I am not a lesbian. I may hate men, but I am not a lesbian.

I am sweatpants. I am telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'

I am the coveted Bubka, available in chocolate and cinnamon.

I am the big salad.

I am the sea. I was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...

I am the chicken, the hen, and the rooster. The chicken goes with the hen... So who is having sex with the rooster?!

That's perverse, R105!

I am the Mansiere. Or the Bro.

I am the square that no one would spare.

I'm the marble rye bread.

I'm Del Boca Vista's HOA.

I’m Nana’s birthday cheques. I never expire.

I am the Space Pen of Jack Klompus, resident of the The Pines of Mar Gables Phase II condos.

I am Rusty's gastro intestinal disaster caused by Kramer feeding him Beef A Reeno.

I am sponge worthy.

I’m the woman Jerry mugs to get the marble rye in R109!

I am the offended old woman who had a pony when she was a child in Poland.

I'm Jerry, doing community-theater-level acting in every episode.

I the old woman Jerry mugs for the rye, and I come back to bite Jerry and his father in the ass with a vengeance.

I am fluorescent lighting. I have magical transformative powers.

I'm the suede jacket with the pink stripped lining.

I'm Jerry's unfunny snide remarks.

I'm the underwear my mother laid out for me.

I am the Moops, who invaded Spain in the 8th century.

I'm Bozo. George has to forget me. I'm out. I'm finished. It's over for me.

I'm the multiple weird baby boomer pop cultural references that will puzzle Generation Xers, and then we will complain ourselves twenty years later when Millennials and iGens don't get our own pop cultural references.

I'm the egg white omelets Jerry always orders at Monks in the mistaken assumption that these will keep him trim rather than giving up on his constant diet of cereal.

I am George using his body as an amusement park.

I'm the 66 hot women Jerry fucked during the series, the 47 who put out for George, the 16 who got Kramer off, and the 50 men Elaine serviced.

Of these statistics I can only find slutty Elaine's even remotely credible.

I'm James Patrick Stuart (aka Valentine from GH and Guy on Frasier) silencing Elaine when Desperado comes on the radio.

I'm an egg yolk in the omelette at the inferior diner. Would it kill you to order me once in awhile? I won't kill you!

I'm Puddy. I'll be back later. We'll make out.

I'm The Beach. Brought to you by Kramer swimming in the East River.

I'm Frank Costanza's shoes. I'm removed for no one!

I am the John Cheever love letters that survived the cabin fire.

I'm the decades overdue copy of Tropic of Capricorn (or was it Tropic of Cancer?)

I'm Jerry's black SAAB convertible that was permanently stunk out by the BO of a parking valet.

I'm Susan's doll that looks just like Estelle.

I'm the never seen Cousin Jeffrey.

I'm the Jesus Fish that Elaine stole off the back of Puddy's car.

I'm Aunt Baby.

No one talks about me.

I'm the ratio of hotness of the women to the hotness of men in the cast they date. I'm off the charts.

I'm the goiter of the elderly Indian woman that was Mahatma's secret lover.

R13 - I thought I was peppermint schnapps?

I’m the parade of Macintoshes on the desk in Jerry’s apartment.

We’re never used, but we get upgraded every couple of years to the latest models.

I'm the glass bottle of Snapple in Jerry's fridge.

I'm too fruity.

I am Elaine's internal monologue when the subway train stalls in the tunnel on the way to the Lesbian Wedding.

I am The Queen of Confrontation.

I am in my high-neck flannel nightgown, leaning out the window, screaming, "Shuuuuuuuuuut Uuuuuuuuuuuuup!" at the neighbor's constantly barking dog.

I am The Big Salad. You know, it's big, it comes in a big bowl with a lot of stuff in it.

I am a hand model, taking a nap under my desk.

I am Jerry's enormously magnified eyes behind the glasses with the huge thick lenses that Jerry wears so Lloyd Braun won't think other people think he's crazy.

We are Elaine's vintage suit jackets.

I am the Festivus pole

I am Kramer's luscious body hair that grew back thicker after he shaved it.

I'm hideous! Look away!

I will never understand people. They are the worst.

I'm Elaine's hyper-sensitive, politically correct Native American friend who is offended by virtually everything that comes out of Jerry's mouth.

I'm Sidra's breasts. We're real, and we're spectacular.

I'm illegally harvested lobsters, some of which are surreptitiously fed to Jerry's bitchy kosher girlfriend.

I’m Jodie Foster trying to act straight. I fail miserable in every movie.

I am Susan's Aunt Sarah. I did not have the common courtesy to wipe my wheels.

I am the balm. I did not tell you to put it on.

I'm the bra worn as a top

I'm Elaine's dream in which she had a sexual encounter with a Chinese woman.

I'm the coffee table book about coffee tables

I'm Mrs Seinfeld, and in the old days I used to fuck James Dean. I was the best he ever had.

I'm the eclair in the trash can.

I’m George Steinbrenner; the word around the office is that Costanza’s a Communist.

I'm Kim Zimmer looking down my nose at Elaine.

I’m Newman’s fantasy of Kramer as a roast turkey.

I'm the Jewish in-jokes that go over the heads of 95% of the audience.

I'm The Equipment. On a good week, Elaine gets to spend about 30 minutes with me.

I am Babe Ruth's jersey, smeared with George's strawberry juice.

I'm Elaine's boss, Mr. Pitt, closing the shaggiest of shaggy-dog episodes with a Hitler mustache and a stiff-armed salute.

I'm the AIDS ribbon Kramer refused to wear

I'm The Maestro.

I’m Little Jerry Seinfeld, the fighting cock

I'm the Velvet Fog.

I'm the shadow of the woman getting a sponge bath projected on the curtain divider.

I'm the "something" George's new homely secretary wants to show him.

I'm the possibility Elaine is not as attractive as she thinks she is. Jerry thinks anything's possible.

I'm Kramer's dresser drawers that the Japanese businessmen tourists need to be freed from by force.

I'm J. Peterman. And, that's my jacket.

I'm the hot, bearish, bearded Black queen who works at Monk's but goes largely unnoticed. I once try to inform George that I'm gay.

I'm coffee, but when George's date says my name, she really means sex.

I'm the "Bugs Bunny" opening song, being sung by Jerry as he and Elaine head to the opera.

I'm the risotto. George's date doesn't feel the same way after sleeping with him as she does after eating me.

I'm reservations. The car rental lady knows how to take me; she just doesn't know how to hold me

I'm Grandma Memma's napkins filled with half chewed mutton.

I'm Holly, Elaine's bitch cousin, whose family Grandma Memma seemed to prefer.

I'm a tiny red dot on a cashmere sweater.

I'm the urban sombrero, invented by Elaine.

In later years, I will be affected by Pharrell.

It combines the spirit of old Mexico with a little big city panache!

I'm George's low talking girlfriend.

I'm Fusilli Jerry!

I'm a cleaning lady being fucked by George on the office floor. (He hadn't been aware that that sort of thing was frowned upon.)

I'm the video store where George sees Susan with her new lesbian lover after she flees heterosexuality because of him.

I'm Donna Chang, tricking Jerry into thinking he has a date with a hot Asian girl. (And how can it be racist if you like them?)

I'm Kathy Griffin, seemingly taking great pleasure in calling Jerry Seinfeld "the devil."

I’m the chocolate bar that insists to be consumed with knife and fork

We are the Korean ladies Elaine suspect were making fun of her.

I’m Pagliacci the opera clown.

I'm Marlee Matlin as Jerry's deaf girlfriend, thankful to be appearing in something that was just funny, rather than yet another (cringe) "very special episode".

I'm the enema bag that Kramer buys to remedy his major constipation, much to the delight of Jerry, George and Elaine.

I am the dust on the green bicycle that never got ridden.

I’m Blossom. Boy, am I on the wrong lot.

I'm the coffee that Kathie Lee Gifford spits all over her Kathie Lee Original from K-Mart thanks to Kramer.

I'm the voice ("Hellooooo"). Jerry would rather so me than continue to date Claire.

I’m the massage Jerry never received from his masseuse girlfriend.

Oh, [italic]hello,[/italic] Newman.

I'm David Puddy's -- or possibly Joe Mayo's -- fur coat hanging from a tree.

I'm a counter-clockwise swirl.

I'm T-Bone!

I'm the squirrel that George hit with his car. Don't forget to keep my tail elevated!

I'm Ocean by Calvin Klein

I'm Frank Costanza's moth-infested loungewear.

I'm a paper sculpture made from the Al Roker TV Guide by the creepy guy who met Elaine on the subway.

I'm Big Headed Elaine's cab driver.

"Little more... Little more."

I'm Denim Vest.

I'm infestation, which Frank Costanza will not tolerate.

I’m Newman’s undelivered mail

I'm Elaine's vacationing next-door neighbors' cat, anxiously devouring paper-thin sliced meat, as Elaine and Kramer slide it under the door.

I'm Jackie Chiles. Your case is outrageous, egregious, preposterous.

I'm the cinnamon babka Jerry and Elaine have to buy because they ran out of chocolate. I am considered a lesser babka.

I'm Susan's tightly wound, lockjawed, always-half-soused, repressed uber-WASP mother.

I'm dad jeans!

I'm tha BAY-BEE that Jerry's gotta SEE!

I'm the high talker, always being mistaken for my wife on the phone.

I'm Donald O'Brien, leader of the Aryan Union. Or am I?

I'm Jerry's date who saw him picking his nose. I know what I saw, despite his denials.

I'm the shot Elaine needs after being bit by a dog. Woof woof, not bang bang.

I'm the president of Matsushimi and I am deeply offended that Pendant's editor-in-chief will not shake my hand.

I'm the English Patient. I should just DIE already!

I'm Jonathan Penner and I play the drug addict with whom Elaine has the Drunken Makeout Session at the company party.

I inspire the Detox Poncho.

I'm the Human Fund. A donation has been made to me in your name, in lieu of a gift.

I'm 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙏𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝘼𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙎𝙚𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.

I am Sack Lunch.

I'm Earth, Wind and Fire's "Shining Star", still trying to live down the spectacle of Elaine "dancing" to me.

I am the "it" he took out.

I'm George's porn star alias: Buck Naked

I'm Kramer's idea to put cement in a washing machine, to get back at a laundromat owner for Jerry, an idea that should have been funnier than it ended up being.

"I'm Jerry's date who saw him picking his nose. I know what I saw, despite his denials."

You are Tia, a Calvin Klein model.

I’m Seven Costanza.

I'm Elaine Benes, Queen of the Gangbangs.. Someday I'll hire Michael Avenatti and run for Vice President.

I'm the Devine Miss M, currently starring in the musical adaptation of Ro chelle, Rochelle.

I'm the reverse peephole.

I'm an "ASSMAN" vanity plate on Kramer's car

I'm Farfel.

I'm Baboo and I know that Jerry is a very, very, very, very bad man!

I'm Keith Hernandez. I was in Game Six.

I'm Kenny Bania. Order the swordfish at Mendy's. It's the best, Jerry! The best!

I’m Elaine’s pair of Boticellis. Don’t you see how everybody likes me and everybody talks about me?

I'm the lobster bisque. I've been mentioned.

I'm ethnic ambiguity.

I choose not to run!

I'm Jerry's apartment door that is never locked and gets slammed multiple times each episode.

I'm Elaine's teeth that look like they can bite a cock off. No wonder she is desperate for attention all the time, even with guys she doesn't want to fuck.

I'm the booger that Jerry mined out of his big nose---I was flicked quicly from his fingers but I am still around, waiting to disintegrate and disappear forever.

I'm George's pee ---still in the shower pipes.

I’m the Label Baby Jr. that was regifted by one, Tim Whatley.

I'm Jerry, gettin' jiggy with it!

I am Seinfeld, party of 4. Just five, ten more minutes for your table at the Chinese restaurant.

never able to watch past 6 minutes...dumb, icky, middle class bullshit humor

dumbing down of us

r256 is Patrice, the pretentious accountant

I'm the pinky toe, back in place at the end of the line.

I'm the stump muffins Rebecca De Mornay returned in disgust!

[Quote] I'm ethnic ambiguity.

Come shop at the Gap!

I'm Puddy's "Behind the 8 Ball" jacket.

I'm Kramer's massive collection of vintage camp shirts

I'm Rebecca De Mornay again, just waiting to jump over this counter and punch you in the brain.

I'm the neon sign from Kenny Rodgers' Roasters that kept Kramer up all night.

I'm the toilet book Rebecca De Mornay is so upset about. Nobody wants me.

I'm a chip that George double-dipped.

I'm the expression "Who ARE these people?", which everyone's Jerry Seinfeld impression begins with, but which Jerry Seinfeld, to my knowledge, never actually said.

I'm George's suggestions of "Tippy-toe", and the song "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" as secret codes when Jerry was going to switch the answering machine tapes, both rejected by Jerry, for "Lemon Tree".

I'm Kramer going commando. I'm out there, Jerry, an' I'm lllovin' every minute of it!!!

I'm Elaine. Well! I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking apartment every ten minutes to pore over the *excruciating* minutia of every, single, daily event...

I'm George's answering machine recording, a take-off on Joey Scarbury's "Believe it or Not."

I'm George's answering machine message, sung to the tune of "The Greatest American Hero" theme song.

I'm Sally Weaver and I really fuck up Jerry's appearance on The Charles Grodin Show.

I'm George's usual order at Monk's: tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee. He always has tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for him with tuna on toast. He now wants the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted ... and a cup of tea!

I'm the janitors' closet that Elaine temporarily claims as her residence in order to get deliveries from her favorite Chinese take-out place.

"Get that stuff outta here today or you'll be outta here tomorrow."

I'm George repeatedly singing the Les Mis tune "Master of the house, doling out the charm. Ready with a handshake and an open palm..."

I'm Elaine's father Alton's gruffly growled response, "Pipe down, chorus boy!"

I am George's toupee, torn from his head and clutched in Elaine's fist, right before she throws it out the window.

I’m Tom Pepper, the actor who plays Kramer in The Pilot. Not to be confused with the actual pilot or with Feldman, the bizarro Kramer. I fucking hate George.

I'm hunky Peter Parros. Most famous as Dr. Ben Harris on "As the World Turns", in a bit part as a patrol cop who picks Jerry and George up when they're in LA.

I'm Jake Jarmel's glasses from Malaysia. No, I won't tell you where I got them.

I'm George's Poker face. I do not exist.

I'm Susie.

R179 started a foundation in my memory

I'm Gary Fogel. I never had cancer.

I'm Puddy's face painted for his love of the Jersey Devils. Talk to me, babe. I'm just here to support the team.

I'm Leo Tolstoy. My original title for "War and Peace" was "War, What Is It Good For?"

I'm Boutros Boutros Ghali. My name's use on Seinfeld has assured my immortality.

I’m the Bubble Boy.

I'm Sam in accounting. My arms hang like salamis.

I'm the Chuckles candy that one paramedic accuses the other of eating.

I'm a package of Tic-Tacs in the pocket of The Slider, triggering Mr. Penneman's PTSD.

I'm myself, having a sexual meltdown everytime Patrick Warburton appeared as Puddy.

I'm the heroic man in the dark cape who prowls the city at night climbing on dangerous bridges to protect suicidal young women. I'm also Frank Costanza's lawyer

I’m the giant ball of oil.

I am Susan's mother

I am the knife and fork Mr. Pitt used to cut his snickers bar as he called for "E-laine"

I am the cigarette Carol Kane is smoking in a hotel lobby. I'm taking attention away from the hookers.

I'm Vegetable Lasagna.

I'm the "flinty" voice that is Erika's.

Don't call me.

You either.

I'm Raquel Welch. I refuse to move my arms when tap=dancing on Broadway. That's my thing.

I am tube Soup Nazi, beating Kramer to a pulp. How in the world could anyone stand Kramer?

I'm Darryl, Elaine's racially ambiguous (to her) boyfriend (I'm white). "So, do you want to go to the Gap?"

"I’m Tom Pepper, the actor who plays Kramer in The Pilot. Not to be confused with the actual pilot or with Feldman, the bizarro Kramer. I fucking hate George."

You also played a cook in Janet Jackson's "When I Think of You" video. You didn't dance.

During that couple's breakup, Elaine and Jerry are "there for you" until they're just "there."

I'm the Smog Strangler.

[quote]You also played a cook in Janet Jackson's "When I Think of You" video. You didn't dance.

I’m Larry Hankin, the actor who played Tom Pepper who played Kramer on Jerry and George’s pilot. The video was “What Have You Done For Me Lately” thank you very much. I also auditioned for actual Kramer.

I'm the term "friends with benefits", which hadn't been invented yet, but which kinda-sorta described Jerry and Elaine's relationship for a while during the first season

I'm Vegetable Lasagna. I don't want to get involved.

I'm Mr. Pitt's quest for the ultimate pair of socks.

I’m the second, court-ordered brassiere that the O’Henry bar heiress tries on in the trial, the bra that doesn’t fit over the leotard because a bra needs to be close to the skin, like a glove.

I'm the snobby Doubleday editor who wouldn't hire Elaine because she insulted Jackie O.

I'm Mr. Pitt's tennis racquet that Elaine lent to above said snobby Doubleday editor. Elaine and the editor's A.A. (the superb Terry Sweeney) get into a slap fight over me.

Mr. Pitt needs me to beat the pants off of Ethel Kennedy.

I'm The New Yorker! Elaine plagiarizes a Ziggy to get in my pages!

I’m the big salad

I'm a Twix bar in a vending machine. George wants me, but he can't have me.

I'm the white meat from Bette Midler's sandwich.

I’m Karl Farbman.

I'm Sally Weaver

I'm the big salad.

I'm casus belli

I'm Ava who got tied up at the weekend.

I am the cherry binaca being sprayed in "Crazy" Joe DaVola's face.

I’m Darren, an intern at Kramerica Industries.

I'm chicken wire.

I'm Bob Grossberg's bogus hearing aid.

I'm the bargain-basement wheelchair George and Kramer buy for the handicapped lady.

(interesting footnote, this actress had a pretty good role on Star Trek the Next Generation as Lt Commander Shelby trying to take Riker's job in the Borg two-parter)

I'm Baby Blue, son of Jerry's favorite t-shirt, Golden Boy.

I am MA-NURE.

I'm Marisa Tomei; I went on a date with George because I love short, stocky, balding, funny men.

Im the salad Kramer makes in the shower

I’m Elaine when she proclaims she has ‘just a tiny bit of grace’.

I'm "Soda", George's rejected baby name suggestion to his future cousin-in-law, who, instead, steal his own planned name, "Seven".

I'm Larry Craig's knee-slappingly funny Steinbrenner impression.

R334 should've read Larry David.

I’m the woman, 9 on a scale of 1 to 10, who is somehow, somehow, attracted to Jerry.

I'm the armoire that gets stolen from Kramer by "street toughs" (bob & Cedric).

I'm Jerry's disdain for being expected to hug/kiss aquaintances and say hello to his neighbors.

I'm a meat slicer with a sliver of one of Elaine's shoes caught in the blade.

I'm the AIDS ribbon Kramer refuses to wear. That fact enrages others at the AIDS Walk, especially Cedric and Bob.

I'm George's girlfriend Jane's rack. I was seen by Jerry, Kramer and Elaine, but George never even got a glimpse.

I have never seen a single episode of "Seinfeld," I am proud to say. And I never will.

I'm Mr. Pitt's obsession over an op-art poster.

I'm George's five-minute long career as a hand model.

I am Elaine's disguised sexy voice on the tape recorder saying smutty things at Jerry's show. The guys will play me back over & over to get their dicks chubby.

I am Yev Kassem and I love throwing people like R342 out of my soup store.

I'm Jerry's cleaning lady, who never seemed to get around to doing much "cleaning".

I'm Kramer's drunken slut mother.

I'm Carol Leifer and I'm funnier than JLD on any day of the week.

I'm JujyFruits candy. I'm tasty enough to distract Elaine from rushing to the hospital to her injured boyfriend's side.

I'm the Mickey. I was not successfully slipped.

I'm the Mackinaw peaches.

I'm Gladys Mayo. Elaine and Kramer fail to ruin my store's business although I might be sued by that old cougar who ate the salsa filled with dessicants.

She kid Jerry's number under Poison Control.

I'm George's Frogger high score. He's never going to have a child. If he loses me, that's it for him.

I am the astronaut pen. Go ahead, take it.

I'm the muffins bottom, and nobody want me....

I'm Elaine's Brando impression when she met Jerry's Aunt Stella while she was high on pain meds.

I'm Mothra, giant radioactive insect! Ree! Ree!

I'm George's boots with the 2" lifts that he wore to the wedding in India, so his date would think he was taller.

I am Moops, not Moors...

I'm the convoluted back and forth swapping of spare apartment keys among Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer, which viewers needed a spreadsheet to keep track of.

I'm Jack, aka The Wiz.

Nobody beats me, because I'm the Wiz! I'm the Wiz!!!

I am the low-flow shower head. You'll never get all the shampoo out of your hair.

I am "The Flaming Globes of Sigmund". The joke wasn't that funny.

I'm a Friars Club blazer. I'm missing in action.

I'm Jerry's crush on his female doppelganger Jeannie Steinman after she saves his life. Jerry declares, "I've swept myself off my feet! I've been waiting all my life for me to come along!"

I’m Corbin Bernson - there is some idiot in the hallway bragging about how he killed this girl’s cat ...

I'm Barry Profitt, Jerry's accountant. I might be a cokehead but I'm definitely allergic to mohair.

I am Fragile Frankie Merman - the “summer George”

I’m the red dot on a white cashmere sweater.

I’m the cereal boxes in Jerry’s cupboard.

I’m Lloyd Braun, ringing a deli bell in the Costanza’s garage.

I'm Nina. If there's ever a problem with Elaine, I'm in!

I am Babs - Cosmo Kramer’s Matron Mother

I'm the free sub Elaine will never have.

I'm the two-line phone that Kramer gave Jerry for his birthday.

I'm Elaine's coworker Peggy, who is a germaphobe and is wary of Elaine because she seems to sleep with a lot of men.

I'm Paul Buchman, I sublet my apartment to Cosmo Kramer, because of me you can link Seinfeld to Mad About You which in turn is linked to Friends and the Dick Van Dyke Show. We're all part of the same NYC centric TV universe.

I'm Sharon, the NYU reporter who outs Jerry and George.

I'm Lupe, a hotel maid with whom George becomes obsessed.

I'm the NYU reporter who "outs" George and Jerry. I look a bit like a young Natalie Merchant.

I am “Hand” - and George is going to need it.

I'm Poppy. I peed in the couch.

I'm the geriatric gang of tough bikers in a high speed pursuit of George who is pretending to be disabled.

I am Uma Thurman's lotion smudged phone number - I hope she's good lookin'!

I'm Newman. My skin is crawling with a flea infestation that I spread to Jerry's apartment.

I'm the flattened seat springs in the getaway van.

I am the filthy slippers Elaine has been slobbing around in since college. I make David Puddy wanna hurl.

I'm Elaine's aspiring actress roommate. I have Guillain-Barre with a twist of Lyme disease.

I'm Schmoopy.

I'm La Cocina an off-off-Broadway play about an Mexican chef named Pepe who mimed cooking tamales on stage.

I’m a papier-mâché hat.

I'm serial killer Joel Rifkin, who unfortunately shares the same name as Elaine's new boyfriend.

I’m George’s SHRINKAGE.

I'm the action/suspense flick "Chunnel!"

I'm Kramer's idiotic make-your-own-pizza idea. The fact that Poppy liked it should have told him something.

I'm Bob Cobb, but I pretentiously make everyone call me "The Maestro", a mildly entertaining running joke, until I insist that Elaine address me as "Maestro" during a sexual tryst. It becomes a bit creepy at that point.

I’m a Paccino's pizza; Elaine knows that I fund radical anti-abortion groups.

I'm Death Blow!

I'm Sack Lunch.

I'm the angry mob of demented senior citizens, led by Walter Findlay, who oust Mr. Seinfeld from the coop board. Did Maude put him up to it?)

I am the coveted VHS of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" starring Audrey Hepburn - a delicate flower .... Oh - and Fred is gay.

I'm the coke that Morty and Helen buy Close Talker Judge Reinhold after a day at the museum.

I'm the bouillabaisse at Bouchard's.They use me for a toilet. Stick with the consumme.

I'm Vargas, the bizzaro world Newman.

I'm the paella -- what am I going to do with all of this paella?

I'm Estelle's roasted pahtatahs!

I’m $100 worth of Chinese gum.

I am the pyramid George wears over his head.

I am the black socks George wears in his glamour shot photo.

I’m vertical leap.

I can be improved with a pair of Jimmy’s special training shoes.

I'm Elaine peeking through the blinds of Jerry's hotel room in India slurring, "G'night, Jugdish!"

I'm the bar sticking up through the sofa bed that Elaine is sleeping on.

I am George blurting out to Elaine at Sue Ellen and Pinter's Wedding: "You slept with the groom?"

I am The I.Q. Test Elaine is taking for George in Babu’s restaurant.

I am the grape juice that Elaine tosses to hunky moving man David James Elliott

I'm Estelle and I'm a divorcee!

I am multiple protégés and mentors in one episode, learning how to downplay knives when writing copy, risk management dictation of textbooks for the blind, and the true comedic beats of Ovaltine.

I'm a WAAY-too-talkative limo driver.

I'm a guy who's about five foot eleven, got a big head and flared nostrils; a short guy with glasses, looks like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head; a pretty woman, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan; and a tall, lanky dufus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein, otherwise known as Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer, as described by the lady in the ticket booth at the movie theatre.

I am Dr. Pimple Popper!

I'm Elaine's colleague Eddie proposing the Bengalese Galoshes for the J. Peterman catalog: "It's tough keeping your feet dry when you're kicking in a skull." That was just a tad harsh for womenswear so Elaine tweaks it just a hair to "strolling through a dewy meadow."

I'm the Mohel on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I'm the mustache, the all kinds of robes and lotions, the new bedspread and new curtains, the thick carpeting and weirdo lighting, and the new orgy friends Jerry refused to get when he chose to turn down the Manage A Trois he suggested to the two hot roommates when he tried to bluff the one girl out of dating him so he could date the roommate.

The dumbass

I am the skis that Elaine has to schlep 3 blocks because Dr Wendy - the delicate genius - won't drop her off in front of her building.

I’m an SAT score of 1409, which is what George tells people he got on the test.

I'm Dentyne Gum ..... Remember, Jerry? Dentyne?

I'm Lt. Bookman of the New York Public Library.

I'm Lois Loan

I'm the soup Bania kept insisting didn't count as a meal

I'm the bike hanging from the wall in Jerry's apartment, that he never actually rode.

I’m the lie detector test that Jerry takes because he doesn’t want to admit to his police officer girlfriend that he watches Melrose Place.

I’m the bottle of champagne Jerry doesn’t have to celebrate George’s engagement to Susan.

I’m happy, Pappy.

I'm the black and white cookie that Jerry eats at the bakery while waiting for a babka.

I'm the smell of kasha that permeates Frank and Estelle's home in Long Island.

I am Del Bocca Vista---and there are no more condos here.

I’m the bird who knocked myself senseless when I flew into Elaine’s “big head.” Passerby: “He flew right into it — like he couldn’t avoid it!”

I’m Georgie’s work desk that also serves as a hideaway for naps on the job, empty calories, and natural male curiosity.

I’m George’s considerable shrinkage.

I’m the urban myth that “The Puerto Rican Day” episode doesn’t air in syndication. It was on TBS last month.

I'm the Latvian Orthodox nun obsessed with Kramer's 'kavorka'.

I am George's "leave behind" item, a sable hat that is unexpectedly expensive!

ALSO: BOOKMAN, LIBRARY COP EPISODE ON NOW, AS I TYPE.

Little Baked Bean Teeth.

I'm Mr. Peterman, who would be cute, if he weren't so pompous and anal.

I'm Peterman's former addiction to the "yim-yam."

I’m the stop short. That’s my move!

I am Jerk Store. JERK STORE!!! I AM A SMART AND FUNNY LINE AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO BE DUMBED DOWN FOR SOME BONE HEADED MASS AUDIENCE!!!

Not you, of course.

I’m the strong likelihood that Frank was cuckolded, since George has brown eyes, and both George’s parents have blue eyes.

I'm Lyle, the HOT Dude who lives with Jerry's latest girlfriend. I look great in just a towel.

She assures Jerry that I'm NOT gay.

I'm The Tony award winning musical "Scarsdale Surprise" starring Miss Raquel Welsh as murdering headmistress Jean Harris

I'm the skinny mirrors at Barney's.

I'm This. That. And The Other. And Elaine wants us all.

I'm sweet fancy Moses.

I'm Elaine's male bimbo boyfriend, aka the mimbo.

I'm food and sex. Those are George's two passions.

I'm Elaine's impoverished boyfriend, the Ain't Got No Green Lantern.

The ocean called, George. They're running out of shrimp.

You know, we're living in a society!

Here's to feeling good...all the time.

I'm the gay little boy in the hospital with the birthday card signed by all the Yankees. I tell Kramer he can have the card back if Paul O'Neill hits 2 home runs.

I don't know I'm gay yet because I'm just a little boy, but everyone already thinks I am because I always look like I'm smelling cookies.

I am the sack in which you should stuff your sorries, mister.

I am Robert. I am a gorgeous gay man. Elaine is bearding for me. Elaine desperately wants me to switch teams. I can't switch teams because I am the starting shortstop for my team. Besides, I'm not comfortable with the other team's equipment, only my own team's equipment.

I'm the poster of an oiled and ripped Evander Holyfield; whos "hell of a body" makes George think about fucking guys.

I'm Koko!

I'm T-Bone!

I'm r445, im wrong, it's "yam-yam".

I'm jerrys old school (super new back then) cordless phone with telescopic antenna.

I’m Jerry, and I don’t wanna be a cowboy!

I'm damaged goods. Elaine: "Okay...So you were violated by two people while you were under the gas. So What? You're single."

Jerry: " But I'm damaged goods now."

Elaine: "Join the club."

I'm the issues of Penthouse strewn about Dr. Tim Whatley's waiting room.

I'm Loni Anderson - the original Morty Seinfeld thinks I am an attractive woman.

I'm Jerry - I don't want to be a Pirate!

I'm the hot babe who mistakes George for her shorter, fatter boyfriend.

In real life, I'm married to fundie and DL fave Kirk Cameron

Im kramers screen door

I'm the buxom waitresses at Monk's, mistaken for being from the cast of a Russ Myers' film.

MOST OVER RATED SHOW IN TV HISTORY

NEVER COULD STAND TO WATCH A MINUTE OF THAT CORNPONE DUM FUK SHOW

I'm SERENITY NOW!!!!

I'm the cat that's out of the bag: I'm Cosmo.

I’m the ketchup secret.

I'm the special order of tiny surgical instruments flown in for the squirrels surgery to save his life after George hit him.

I'm the pasta primavera at Pfeiffer's!

I'm havin' adventures all over the place!

/ Rochelle Rochelle

I'm the Super Terrific Happy Hour!

I'm Alec BERG - Hello Mr. BERRRRGGGG!

Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft

I'm Jerry's atrocious line readings.

I could never be friends with someone who

watches that dumb asswipe show of clichés...

R487 We get it. You've posted 3 times now that you don't care for the show.

That's a shame.

Yankee Bean! Yankee Bean! I wuuuvvvvs my YAN - KEE BEAN!!

I'm the white socks and Russian cleaning-lady dress Elaine stopped wearing when she glammed up and got million dollar cosmetics endorsements. Coincidentally also when she became a major bitch.

Yikes. Good luck with all of THAT.