Please stop saying 'queer'

He makes a pretty weak case

It should be called "the Q word."

My problem is that it's rather meaningless.

Into leather? You're queer!

Asexual? You're queer!

Gay man? You're queer!

Use "they/them" pronouns? Queer!

Rinse and repeat.

We're here!

We're QUEER!

Deal with it!

R4, that was used by gay activists desperate to save lives during the gay plague.

Nowadays, it’s for kinky straights.

It means “sex pervert.”

homosexuality =/= queer

Don’t let the non-homos decide our nomenclature. Only gays can decide what we are to be called, and the vast majority of us recognize “queer” as a slur. And we are silenced & ignored. We have no self-determination.

Queer is everywhere now. Gay is nowhere. Gay is being left off of minority groups. It’s queer now. I don’t want to be a queer. I’m gay.

So does that mean that LGBTQ wounds?

LGBTQ is questioning, right?

r5, your arrogance wounds. You're telling an ELDERgay he's no longer allowed to self-describe using a term he embraced before you were born --- because a bunch of younger people who are devoid of history or dictionaries have latched onto the same term and are *misidentifying* themselves with it. No one has to rebrand themselves because of other people's stupidity.

Please, stop trying to control everybody with P.C. zeal. You're never going to win and it's long overdue for you to LET GO.

We queers who have reclaimed the word are not using it in a derogatory manner, so you've convicted the innocent and missed the target.

You don't get to force other people to talk like you or withhold truths and words you don't like. The only person in this world you get to force is yourself.

Now go force yourself Straight Down the Shitter.

Has anybody ever been asked if they were “queer” by someone?

Queer is not my preference. I don't and probably wouldn't refer to myself that way; I'd use gay. But it makes no difference to me if others want to use it. I don't get why everyone gets all worked up if people don't act and think exactly as they do.

I don’t believe R12 at all.

I always say queer. I like it.

I have to admit I do sometimes use it in a derogatory way-as in “some fat queer ahead of me in line was taking forever to scan his groceries.”

“Are you a queer?”

Will faggot be next?

“Are you a faggot?”

We’ve come so far in gay rights. We now identify as slurs. Good for us.

Cue the “queer isn’t a slur!” queerplorable.

R10 YOU don’t get to tell anyone they have accept the word queer either.

I don't use the word but it doesn't bother me to hear it, nor do I use the word "f_gg_t" and that one I don't like to hear. However I have always thought that us using those words takes much of the power away from the bigots who use them to hurt us.

“Queer” is a slur. It’s vulgar.

I was under the impression that "queer" is similar to the n-word. If an African American says the n=word it's ok; if a white person says it it's bigotry. Same with "queer"; if a gay says it it's ok, but if a straight says it it's homophobic.

I mean, going to High School in the 00's the word "Gay" hade much more of a slur vibe to it to me. Nobody called me queer to be mean but walking down the hall the word gay was always paired with some sort of violent threat; to use a "bad" word like queer willingly had some empowering effect. I do think that there is a generational conflict here.

People can define themselves any way they want as long they return the favor and let others define themselves the way they want. Love and let live. Problem solved.

How about the word queen? That’s a slur, right?

r25, it's a *title*!

Does this mean we can call trannies “trannies”...?

Remember the trolling about white gay men appropiating sassy black women attitude? Same divide and conquer scheme. Like this one about that isn't about the word queer but really about Millennials (using queer) and eldergays (using gay). Divide and Conquer scheme using / taking advantage of the age gap divide.

We used to use the word queer for people who wore green on Thursdays. We also used the word "straight" to mean gay, even though we knew it was the opposite. This is in elementary school in the San Fernando Valley in the 60's.

Recently, in SF, everyone who was tranny was a tranny because of Tranny Shack. It is nice and cozy word.

I suggest using whatever person you are talking to is most comfortable with. I like to use "gay" for everybody.

I think it depends on where you live and whether your micro-culture is hyper-sensitive or flexible.

Queer, nigger, kike, etc. These are words that 'empower' idiots not authentic people.

I'm as queer as a cat fart!

[quote] It’s vulgar.

It's not.

Language changes, and most people under 40 prefer to be called queer, because it describes them better than gay or lesbian (or bisexual).

The Huffington Post is very Far Left so of course they are going to make stupid, so-called trendy choices like the use of this outdated word. They're queer themselves and not in a good way.

It's tired terminology.

Eldergay tells news organization that he's wounded by the Q word

Baby gays are so easily offended these days. I guess it comes from growing up sitting in front of their computers rather than having to go out and actually engage with other human beings face to face. The internet has raised billions of kids the world over in the last 30 years.

[quote] Baby gays are so easily offended these days.

But it's not the baby gays that are being hysterical, shrieking prisspots about the use of the "Q" word........

Queer is regression

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!

R32, it is vulgar.

Imagine corporations using it. Medical doctors. Police officers. Judges. Elementary school teachers.

Not. Gonna. Happen.

Kids will continue to use it as a slur. They just won’t be scolded for it in woke households.

r5 the only people who are se queer are pathetic straights trying to find something interesting about themselves.

Other than miniature golf and hummel figures, they’ve coopted lesbian and gay rights. They’re the Pat Boones copying black singers in the 1950s.

As a gay man of color I grant you all permish to call me a queegger.

But only to my face.

Whatever this nice queer couple decides is good enough for me!

I remember in the early days of their decline, HuffPost Gay Section, despite the protests from many readers, decided to ban Gay and replace it with Queer, which rubbed my sensibilities raw. It took a lot of years for us to scrub Queer away and replace it with a kinder, gentler Gay. To this day, my brain/emotions refuse to accept Queer in a positive way. I also hope we don't add any more letters to the LBG alphabet soup. Old folks like me can't remember them. Jeez, it took a long time to get it right. And while we're here, what about the rainbow flag? Are we going to be inclusive and add the brown and black stripes?

It bothers me that even if only a few gays oppose being called “queer,” people want to force it on us.

Even if just one gay person expressed trauma from the word “queer” should be enough for us to pause.

Nobody should be called anything they don’t like. We have a right to express our name preference.

Not only should we be totally united on our name, it should naturally spring forward from us. It should just...bubble up. Make sense to all of us.

I can’t believe people are really trying to force gay people to call themselves a gay slur against their wills. I can’t believe people are defending “queer.”

R44, I agree with most of your post but the flag is not about race. At all. Don’t lay race on it. It will lose its meaning. It will no longer be a fucking rainbow.

Good point, R44. I've always wondered who the green and purple stripes represent.

It's a word for the age of irony that we're in. Very knowing and with it. Sucks.

If some guy's online profile said he 'identified as queer' I would lose interest immediately.

Actually, where did this bullshit about 'I identify as...' come form anyway? It's everywhere. I don't 'identify as gay', I am gay.

It’s heading back to the “choice” thing, R48. I was going to post that.

I'm an older gay man. I've pretty much used gay all my life but lately it does feel passé. I'm getting used to queer but too much baggage - I only use in fun with friends. Lately I've been saying homosexual a lot. I like the formality. I usually say penis now for the same reason.

I’m so sad that gay people are wrapped in all of this. It’s a web of...shit.

[quote]I’m so sad that gay people are wrapped in all of this. It’s a web of...shit.

I somewhat agree with you but it was inevitable. Every generation puts their own name on things. I try to not to yell at the kids on the lawn.

So, what did Jewish people call themselves 50 years ago?

[quote] Actually, where did this bullshit about 'I identify as...' come form anyway? It's everywhere. I don't 'identify as gay', I am gay.

This is actually a very good point. The 'identification' is a result of denial. It's like rednecks identifying with wealthy republicans. Or what's her name the trans-racialist. I don't blame anyone for being sickened by their peers: most people are sickening. They'll sabotage their own team for a chance to drink with the winners at the bar.

I hate the word queer. It's insulting, and I don't want to own it. I'll stick with gay. And I wish you would too.

did the “identity” thing come from academics?

People blame feminists for it...like they do everything. Perhaps the early ‘identity’ feminists meant it in a way to include the female gaze & experience to culture which largely was recorded & defined by only a male POV?

The 1970s feminists valued women & children. No way they would have accepted a transsexual in the women’s resrooms much less their mental space.

Transwomen have invaded & are dominating feminists & the gay community. They insist on being the center of everything. And they’re just cross-dressers.

A man cannot identify as a woman. That’s insane. Seriously, mentally ill. A man cannot have a woman’s identity. He has no access to it. No idea what it’s like to be born female. No idea what intercourse is like. Or pregnancy. Or even menstruating. And so forth...there are a gazillion components to the female identity. But it is uniquely female. Just like the male identity is for men only.

It’s insulting to assume any man can just be a woman. They are invaders & they are dominating us. They’re crossdressers. The gay community is catering to crossdressers. Gays all over the world are still getting killed. Two lesbians & their son were brutally murdered by a T activist...a straight man who “identified” as a lesbian. It was prosecuted as a domestic dispute rather than a hate crime becuse they were all lesbians. 2016 Oakland, I think. And not a peep from the gay community. As if lesbians would be in a love triangle with a straight man. It’s crazy.

[quote]I hate the word queer. It's insulting, and I don't want to own it. I'll stick with gay. And I wish you would too.

Don't use it you don't want - but don't be so rigid -the train has already left the station ..

Well, are you?

yea - that's pretty dated. Things change. Words come and go

Only gay people put up with this. No other group.

Gays should not be called what we don’t want to be called. Quit trying to convince us that queer is not a slur designed to keep us on the fringe & inhuman.

Why is that so difficult? Why the investment in trying so hard to call us queer when we don’t want to be called queer? I honestly don’t get it.

I think it's overwhelming younger gays that are using "queer." I've never heard a straight person use it. I don't like it either- too much baggage. I don't know why some people in the gay community want to "reclaim the word." seems misguided. I don't use and none of my friends use so I've decided to stop bitching about it. I try to pick my battles - there are so many things awful right now starting with Trump.

r5 according to whom? Was there a vote - or just a bunch of entitled millennial pricks?

Definitely wounds. Malicious little creep in boarding school from across . the hall never stopped uttering it to me. Left deep and lasting wounds.

Seriously the people on this thread saying we need relax and take the queer would never dare say Chinese people should take a word like chink or black people the N word.

I’d bet you some if these same people are joining the call for the football team to change the Redskins name. Which they should because it has a history as a slur just like queer.

Honestly, queer doesn’t bother me personally that much but I won’t be told I should use it.

[quote]Definitely wounds. Malicious little creep in boarding school from across . the hall never stopped uttering it to me. Left deep and lasting wounds.

Well I'm an older gay guy - and I'm an out gay man - and I've had plenty of homophobic insults hurled at me over the years. My response depends on my mood. But yeah - it usually pisses me off. I'm way past feeling wounded - I would rather get angry.

If queer bothers you, do not, I repeat, DO NOT enter a humanities or social sciences graduate program/department.

It's all queer, only queer, all the time. (Or else it's trans* -- when queer takes a day off)

I’ve called a queer—as a slur.

As in called on the phone?

Yes, R69

But did you dial with a pencil, r68?

Queer is homophobic. End of story.

This we must know^^^^^^^

^Meant for R71^

Fits both posts though.

I did, R71.

Shakesqueer

What should the Q in LGBTQ stand for: questioning? quidnunc? quisling? Quentin? quack? qiviut? quasar? quaint (think Irene Coles)?

Shouldn't be there, anymore than "T" should.

r46 Frogs. And queens.

For those not old enough to remember, June 28, 1969 was the day things really changed for the gay community, which we were referred to back then. We began to come together and amass power. We began to shed the "queer" stigma. We became prideful as time went on.

Then the lesbians weren't happy to be gay. And these people who couldn't commit still wanted part of the power and henceforth were known as the bis. So we amalgamated as the LGBs. Pretty soon the transitionalists wanted to be a part, and the malcontents insisted on being queer. Let's see, that's LGBQT, but is that enough? Who else is going to come along, wanting to dilute the power? Hmm. LGBQT/METOOS/NEERDOWELLS/BORDERCROSSERS... Once there's enough of them, they'll want to change the name so no one is offended. GAY won't be a part of it. We will have lost our identity--even more!

Let's go back to the gays and the gay community. Either you're part of the 10% core, or you're not.

[quote]Queer is homophobic. End of story.

No r72 - that's NOT the end of the story. I don't like the word but a lot of people do - and it's new meaning (for these people) is more benign. Words mutate all the time. What was a commonplace word yesterday is a very smutty word today. And vice versa.

So time will tell if queer reverts to it's old mean as being something unusual (that's the way my grandmother used it. Or it remains a gay slur. Or become something altogether different.

Part of the issue is that queer is not used as synonymous with gay. Queer can mean gay, or bi, or agender, or into a weird fetish (but straight). It basically covers everything that doesn't fall under vanilla, missionary sex with the lights off between a biological male and a biological female.

Well - it's a queer word. I'ts like someone trying to write Queen but their handwriting wasn't good.

I agree R84. And that’s one of the annoying things about it. ‘Queer’ doesn’t explain or define you; it’s a nebulous term used specifically to avoid being defined. It’s useless in that regard as it purports to be a rejection of the terms it also claims to encapsulate. To be ‘queer’, in the current vernacular, is to reject any terminology that confers status. In layman’s terms, it’s most useful to those who are too ‘complex’ to be described using specific language.

You can’t reclaim the word if you’ve never experienced the crushing oppression from those who slung it at us for decades, been beaten up while someone shouts the word at you over and over, been spit on after someone calls you it. I’ve experienced all of those. I’m gay. I’m not queer. If you call me a queer, you’re the antagonist.

I don't mind the word, but I agree with R86 about everything else. Perhaps I'm slightly too young to have experienced "queer" as the slur some others did - I don't recall that being used very frequently as I was growing up.

But, "queer" does seem to be an umbrella term for people who think they're unique. I know this young woman, who is married to a man. She calls herself "queer", although everything about her read "straight woman" - I have no idea why. She likes wearing quirky hats, maybe that's why.

[quote]Perhaps I'm slightly too young to have experienced "queer" as the slur

Lie.

DL is full of pussies.

FF r83, the q word.

[quote] I'm an older gay guy and I've had plenty of homophobic insults hurled at me over the years.

I don't ever recall being called "queer" that much. Mostly "fag." But queer was always in the background as in "he's a fucking queer." But fag was always the go-to word for bashers.

[quote]One of the annoying things about it. ‘Queer’is it doesn’t explain or define you; it’s a nebulous term used specifically to avoid being defined

I think it's a generational thing. Boomer gays have so much history and so much drama (good and bad) and dominated the gay scent for so long - that the following generations wanted to claim their own identity, And also a stick to the old guys a little. Young people are always a little ageist - just the way thing work.

[quote]FF R83, the q word.

Hey that's cool r72 - sorry, I didn't mean to insult you ..

^^ dominated the gay scent

They also dominated the gay scene.

It’s a mellow soothing scent with just a hint of drama.

It seems that it's mostly used by those who grew up hearing the insult "that's so gay" for years and years. Thus, the word "gay" is a loaded word for them.

"LGBTQ" and "queer" is much more sterilized to them, and don't carry the baggage of "gay". The problem is that the previous generation, who regard "queer" as an insult that they themselves heard as kids, is very much still around and were clearly not consulted with this switch, in the media and beyond, to these new terms, which are sterile to some but not all. And "queer" is much easier to say than the tongue twisting list of letters.

Me, I'll stick with "gay", thank you.

I'm a queer, a bender, a poufter, a knobshiner

Queer= put down, abnormal. The Trans LOVE this word.

[quote]It seems that it's mostly used by those who grew up hearing the insult "that's so gay" for years and years. Thus, the word "gay" is a loaded word for them."LGBTQ" and "queer" is much more sterilized to them, and don't carry the baggage of "gay".

Totally interesting comment and I'd never thought about"gay" being a loaded word for younger homosexuals.

don’t you know what the queers are doing to the soil?!?

I've used "gay" for years but lately it feels passé ... I don't like "queer" so I'm starting to use "homosexual" ... and I'm finding I like it !! It suits my personality - I like all the vowels and the syllables. You can really drag it out.

If you went to high school and graduated in the early 2000s, then you absolutely heard "that's so gay" on a regular basis. I've seen campaigns to try and get kids to stop using the word in that way... maybe 10-12 years ago?

I've had to ask co-workers and subordinates that were only slightly younger than me, but definitely in the millennial demographic, to stop saying "gaaaay" or "that's so gay" as a response to things they don't want to hear.

Fuck off, r83.

It’s a dehumanizing slur.

r103 - have a good life !!

Grow up, r104.

Why are you coercing gays to be called something they don’t want to be called? Why so invested in this? People don’t like it. Why force it?

What's wrong with 'sexual minority community'? I cringe when a politician has to say "LGBTQIXYZ".

Fuck you r105 - you just want to be insulted. You are very dim watt light bulb. The following is the posting you are so incensed about. I don't see any coercion. Again - fuck off you stupid troll

[quote]I don't like the word but a lot of people do - and it's new meaning (for these people) is more benign. Words mutate all the time. What was a commonplace word yesterday is a very smutty word today. And vice versa. So time will tell if queer reverts to it's old mean as being something unusual (that's the way my grandmother used it. Or it remains a gay slur. Or become something altogether different.

r105 = attention troll

R101, I'm a lesbian in her 30s, and I've started using "homosexual" more often, as well. I like the directness and precision of it. "Gay" is also a comfortable term, and one I'm proud to use.

But I never use "queer" for myself or other gay people, for all the reasons already outlined on this thread, particularly its popularity among straight- or mostly-straight people who want to be seen as sexually edgy.