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How Can I Cure My White Guilt?

The thing about privilege is that it can be used for good.

Dear Sugars,

I’m riddled with shame. White shame. This isn’t helpful to me or to anyone, especially people of color. I feel like there is no “me” outside of my white/upper middle class/cisgender identity. I feel like my literal existence hurts people, like I’m always taking up space that should belong to someone else.

I consider myself an ally. I research proper etiquette, read writers of color, vote in a way that will not harm P.O.C. (and other vulnerable people). I engage in conversations about privilege with other white people. I take courses that will further educate me. I donated to Black Lives Matter. Yet I fear that nothing is enough. Part of my fear comes from the fact that privilege is invisible to itself. What if I’m doing or saying insensitive things without realizing it?

Another part of it is that I’m currently immersed in the whitest environment I’ve ever been in. My family has lived in the same apartment in East Harlem for four generations. Every school I attended, elementary through high school, was minority white, but I’m now attending an elite private college that is 75 percent white. I know who I am, but I realize how people perceive me and this perception feels unfair.

I don’t talk about my feelings because it’s hard to justify doing so while people of color are dying due to systemic racism and making this conversation about me would be again centering whiteness. Yet bottling it up makes me feel an existential anger that I have a hard time channeling since I don’t know my place. Instead of harnessing my privilege for greater good, I’m curled up in a ball of shame. How can I be more than my heritage?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 75August 19, 2018 3:58 PM

Identity politics division thread. F&F.

by Anonymousreply 1August 17, 2018 11:13 PM

When did the NYT become The Onion?

by Anonymousreply 2August 17, 2018 11:13 PM

The NYT is trolling, right?

by Anonymousreply 3August 17, 2018 11:14 PM

Bizarre tone.

by Anonymousreply 4August 17, 2018 11:20 PM

It's very simple: Only feel guilty or ashamed about things you've done yourself!

There's no such thing as racial responsibility, and no need for racial shame. Anyone who lets them be guilt-tripped into feeling that way is a fool.

by Anonymousreply 5August 17, 2018 11:34 PM

Dear guilty white NYT writer: Tell everyone you meet loud enough for anyone within earahot to hear, about how you're not like all those other white people cuz you grew up in East Harlem as a "white minority." Writing about in NYT is a good start, too.

My racist uncle grew up in Watts, btw, and is eager to share that whenever he's spewing shit about "blacks," as if this qualifies him as an authority. He believes he doesn't experience white privilege because he was bullied by blacks when he was a kid.

Or you could wigger out like Rachel Doleziel and spend your life trying to be "down" with POC.

by Anonymousreply 6August 17, 2018 11:35 PM

The NYT, trying their damndest to get Dump re-elected.

by Anonymousreply 7August 17, 2018 11:38 PM

It reads like performance art. Surely nobody is truly that stupid?

by Anonymousreply 8August 17, 2018 11:41 PM

Don't ask me.

by Anonymousreply 9August 17, 2018 11:44 PM

OK, r1. I F&F'ed you as you asked.

by Anonymousreply 10August 17, 2018 11:44 PM

Stupid?! He or she is at "an elite liberal arts college!"

This is connected to some odd podcast called Dear Sugars.

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by Anonymousreply 11August 17, 2018 11:47 PM

Wake me up when Maggie Haberman writes "How Can I Cure My Trump Flufferism?"

by Anonymousreply 12August 17, 2018 11:48 PM

Is blushing a sign of white guilt?

by Anonymousreply 13August 17, 2018 11:49 PM

Suck more black cock and shut up.

by Anonymousreply 14August 17, 2018 11:49 PM

I thought this was a joke until I saw the link.

by Anonymousreply 15August 17, 2018 11:51 PM

Not a parody?

by Anonymousreply 16August 17, 2018 11:51 PM

Lost me at cis

by Anonymousreply 17August 17, 2018 11:52 PM

This is all mental illness, to be honest

by Anonymousreply 18August 17, 2018 11:53 PM

They are not joking:

Rapid Fire: Love & Money July 21, 2018 Amory Sivertson

When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time?

In this episode, five letter writers want to know how to discuss money with their romantic and familial partners. How do I stop resenting my husband for his low income? How do I ask my stay-at-home wife to get a job? Should I feel obligated to share the wealth with my fiscally irresponsible parents? The Sugars answer these questions and more in rapid-fire style on today’s episode.

by Anonymousreply 19August 17, 2018 11:55 PM

Talking About Privilege — With Catrice M. Jackson August 11, 2018 Amory Sivertson

Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. But behind every case is an imbalance of power, invisible to those who possess it, and ever-present for those who don’t.

In today’s episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. In the first letter, a woman and her fiancé can’t agree on a last name for their family. He wants her and their children to take his last name, she is frustrated that he doesn’t understand that his preference stems from his male privilege.

A second letter comes from a woman who calls herself “Mother of White Privileged Children.” The Sugars call on Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice, to help answer her letter. To help children see their own privilege, Ms. Jackson says, “This mother really needs to step up and do her own work, to figure out what her weapons of whiteness are so that she can lay them down.” Together, Ms. Jackson and the Sugars discuss ways in which racism is internalized, and outline best practices for talking about privilege.

by Anonymousreply 20August 17, 2018 11:56 PM

There are injections to cure your afflication.

by Anonymousreply 21August 17, 2018 11:58 PM

[quote]How Can I Cure My White Guilt?

You can start by killing yourself. You fucking useless piece of white shit.

by Anonymousreply 22August 17, 2018 11:58 PM

[quote]The Sugars call on Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice, to help answer her letter. To help children see their own privilege, Ms. Jackson says, “This mother really needs to step up and do her own work, to figure out what her weapons of whiteness are so that she can lay them down.” Together, Ms. Jackson and the Sugars discuss ways in which racism is internalized, and outline best practices for talking about privilege.

Well smell her. I’ll bet she makes a pretty penny at it, like that Instagram beggar Ashley something- the one who went to private schools and had a mom with a six-figure salary. She hosts seminars on white guilt and why you should just give her money.

by Anonymousreply 23August 18, 2018 12:03 AM

Are they invited speakers at “In Goop Health” summits?

by Anonymousreply 24August 18, 2018 12:10 AM

I am not getting this "to have a heart you must lose a spine" fad. Is it a generational thing?

I know white privilege exists. I know when I benefit from white privilege. What erases or cures my white guilt is knowing that my skin colour is stopping me from being detained indefinitely without charge or being beaten to death by the cops. I prefer POC not be beaten senseless by the cops and that they not be detained indefinitely, but I think that a civilized society should be able to elevate POC to where I am where what I get now is no longer a privilege.

White privilege is also NOT universal. Try spending time in an Asian country. "Oh you're white, go to the back of the line. Oh you're white, we have to check your passport."

by Anonymousreply 25August 18, 2018 12:16 AM

What a white cunt. It does seem that something this ridiculous must be bait from the right. These thoughts aren’t rational or sane. If it is a true essay...please overdose on something quickly.

by Anonymousreply 26August 18, 2018 12:23 AM

[quote]I know white privilege exists. I know when I benefit from white privilege

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by Anonymousreply 27August 18, 2018 12:26 AM

Here we go again, more white nonsense. Here's the deal, don't feel guilty unless you have something to feel guilty for. You're white, you're the majority, and you're top of the food chain. Enjoy it. The world is designed for you to succeed and there are tons of safety nets there to catch you if you fall. All you have to do is three little things: 1)acknowledge from time to time, that things are a little bit easier for you; 2) don't immediately assume that the person of color or female was a diversity or affirmative action choice/hire; and finally 3) follow the golden rule.

by Anonymousreply 28August 18, 2018 12:34 AM

You should sell everything you own and give every dime you have to the NAACP. You will be surprised how quickly your white guilt disappears.

by Anonymousreply 29August 18, 2018 12:38 AM

My white guilt is assuaged every time I pay NYC and NY State income tax.

by Anonymousreply 30August 18, 2018 12:48 AM

These are the two people behind "Dear Sugars"

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by Anonymousreply 31August 18, 2018 12:56 AM

I'm going to be up all night worrying over this letter writer's problem!

by Anonymousreply 32August 18, 2018 1:01 AM

Sometimes i think this crazy shit in the Times is white staffers trying to kiss up to the black editor in chief

by Anonymousreply 33August 18, 2018 1:03 AM

Some colored person on one of the Aretha threads posted this bit of wisdom:

[quote]African Americans are amongst the most American of us all. And she fought for a place at the table for her ppl. They've been here for 400 years. Way b4 Germans, Italians, Irish, Jews, Mexicans and many others, blacks were here in America.

Thanks to this person for correctly pointing out that “Germans, Italians, Irish, Jews, Mexicans, and many others” came after blacks and therefore had nothing to do with slavery.

Zero white guilt here.

by Anonymousreply 34August 18, 2018 1:03 AM

R34 Just being able to pass for "white" white is all it takes to feel guilty according to these people.

by Anonymousreply 35August 18, 2018 1:22 AM

I'm a Jew with very semitic features and can generally pass off as white in California but that may change if I move to the midwest.

by Anonymousreply 36August 18, 2018 1:25 AM

Gerald O'Hara and Scarlet are Irish. Important Americans in Slave History

by Anonymousreply 37August 18, 2018 1:28 AM

For every one of these white guilt people there are ten or more white deplorables who are committed to reelecting Trump and GOP officials up and down the ballot.

I'm keeping my eye on what's important and not getting pointlessly worked up over the Lena Dunhams of the world.

by Anonymousreply 38August 18, 2018 1:31 AM

R34 here.

Grandparents arrived here in America in 1920s. I have their boat tickets (steerage class).

Still absolutely zero white guilt.

Black problems in 2018 are their own creation.

I have a great life due to my family assimilating into American culture and understanding the value of education and hard work.

Zero sympathy for lazy people whose ancestors have been in this country 400+ years and are still dependent on welfare.

by Anonymousreply 39August 18, 2018 1:43 AM

Wop wop

by Anonymousreply 40August 18, 2018 1:51 AM

How simple minded you are R39. You're over looking and omitting so much that continue to affect POC to this day. Just from a historically systematic perspective.

But you're no different than a lot of whites though. And italian americans are among some of the most vicious and racist americans in this country.

And you have definitely lived up to that it.

by Anonymousreply 41August 18, 2018 1:52 AM

Have a good shit OP, maybe that will make you feel better.

by Anonymousreply 42August 18, 2018 2:00 AM

Enjoy when it lasts darling because your privileges will go away in the next 20 years when the Chinese dominates and controls the world

by Anonymousreply 43August 18, 2018 2:01 AM

[quote]I feel like my literal existence hurts people, like I’m always taking up space that should belong to someone else.

Jesus.

by Anonymousreply 44August 18, 2018 2:04 AM

[quote]How simple minded you are [R39].

My grandparents arrived here in the 1920s with nothing other than the clothes on their back. They didn’t even speak the language.

And yet, less than a hundred years later I’m a successful professional making 150k+ annually and living a great life. My grandparents worked hard to learn the language, earn a living, and encourage their children to become educated and pursue a better life.

Again, I have zero sympathy for certain lazy ethnic groups who have been in this country for 400 years and continue to blame everyone else for their continued failures.

by Anonymousreply 45August 18, 2018 2:08 AM

OP if you are cute, male and have a nice ass, can I spank you? Maybe that would assuage your wracked soul and bring new meaning to your life. A big cock in your anus might help too

On the other hand one has grave doubts that OP is anything but "of color".

by Anonymousreply 46August 18, 2018 2:23 AM

R45 Thanks for putting that you make $150K a year.

I've had real wealth since I was 19. And I'm a minority.

I trump you yet again.

by Anonymousreply 47August 18, 2018 2:37 AM

Don't worry, white people will be a minority soon enough and you won't have to worry about that nagging feeling of guilt. You'll have bigger problems, real problems.

by Anonymousreply 48August 18, 2018 2:46 AM

R47, I don’t care at all what you make. It has no relevance to me.

I live a very satisfied and fulfilled life. Largely thanks to my immigrant grandparents who risked everything for a better life in America almost 100 years ago. I am grateful for their wisdom almost everyday of my life.

My family had absolutely nothing to do with the imagined plight of minorities in this country.

Zero sympathy.

by Anonymousreply 49August 18, 2018 2:47 AM

R34, r39, r45 = That proud Italian-American speaking his pristine American English, after being fully assimilated into American culture, like so many other Italian-Americans.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 50August 18, 2018 2:49 AM

MARY!

by Anonymousreply 51August 18, 2018 2:59 AM

R50, instead of mocking me for being “fully assimilated” and for my “pristine American English”... you might ask why black Americans who have been in this country for 400 years haven’t been able to achieve the same.

Again, don’t blame me or my family. My family lived in Italy until less than 100 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 52August 18, 2018 3:03 AM

r47 I had no idea that they allowed access to DataLounge in whatever nuthouse you exist. Of course you're a gigantic achiever dearie, we should all worship at your feet and are blinded by your brilliance. Why don't you take all your silly pipe dreams and shove them as far up your anus as far as you can possibly stuff them. I can only imagine, if it is true, how your "money" was made--Rodrigo Duterte had a solution for that, disagreeable though it may be.

by Anonymousreply 53August 18, 2018 3:09 AM

#whitepeopleproblems

by Anonymousreply 54August 18, 2018 3:12 AM

#NotWhiteItalianAmericanProblems

by Anonymousreply 55August 18, 2018 3:20 AM

[quote]I feel like my literal existence hurts people, like I’m always taking up space that should belong to someone else.

Have you tried killing yourself dear?? It would solve a lot of problems.

by Anonymousreply 56August 18, 2018 3:22 AM

I always wonder about the r48s of the world and their idle threats. A. Even when white people are no longer the majority, we'll still be the majority of VOTERS for quite awhile. Voting = power, in case you haven't noticed. B. For all of the slogans, "People of Color" tend to get along about as well as a bag full of cats. Go ahead, ask some Mexican farm worker or Asian shopkeeper what he thinks about paying taxes to fund slavery reparations. C. White people (especially Deplorable trash) own the vast majority of the guns in this country. Whatever "vengeance" POC think they're going to get, well good luck with that.

by Anonymousreply 57August 18, 2018 3:26 AM

R52 there’s a whiff of crazy about your posts...

by Anonymousreply 58August 18, 2018 3:29 AM

R57, dont forget that POC love to kill each other. Fortunately they kill each other at a faster rate than they can breed new Criminals of Color.

by Anonymousreply 59August 18, 2018 3:29 AM

See, as stupid as r48 is, you're not being very helpful, r59. Once we white people are no longer the majority, this country is definitely going to change. Hopefully new ideas and new perspectives will help us to get closer and closer to the goal of a truly color-blind society. I was just pointing out that gunning for "revenge" isn't going to help anybody, and it isn't going to be a winning strategy for black people either.

by Anonymousreply 60August 18, 2018 3:33 AM

There is the saying that blacks and mexicans solve all their problems with guns and knives, yes, one can hardly wait until they "take charge".

by Anonymousreply 61August 18, 2018 3:35 AM

Asians, the most intelligent race, will control and dominate the world in the next 20 -30 years. They will eliminate all other races

by Anonymousreply 62August 18, 2018 3:36 AM

THIS THREAD WAS NOT CREATED BY ANYONE WHO IS WHITE--BLESS,, BILL

by Anonymousreply 63August 18, 2018 3:42 AM

Fortunately I will be dead in less than 50 years, so I will not have to witness the fall of Western Civilization once POC become the majority.

by Anonymousreply 64August 18, 2018 3:58 AM

R52, No. there’s a whiff of crazy among the blacks who think that white people like my family of immigrants should be paying reparations to POC who have a 400 year + record of continued failure to assimilate to civilized society.

by Anonymousreply 65August 18, 2018 4:04 AM

Above is to R58.

by Anonymousreply 66August 18, 2018 4:05 AM

The thread has been blacked out anyway, so someone among the powers that be, maybe Muriel, knows all this has been an exercise in utter bullshit. Thread closed (I hope)........

by Anonymousreply 67August 18, 2018 4:09 AM

I can tell you how I got rid of my white guilt. 10 years ago I was a white female who was the next thing to Rachel Dolezal. I did not think I was black, but I wished that I were and I wanted to devote my life to making up for the evil my forebears had committed.

I don't want to be too specific, but I got a job editing an urban site online. I would read hundreds of emails and other messages every day, all from black people. Up until that point I truly had no idea how deep the hatred blacks have for whites goes. I actually thought that both races genuinely wanted to reach some sort of détente and finally live together in racial harmony.

I was wrong. And now 10 years later I see that the number of black people who even believe that there are any decent whites is so infinitesimal, the chances of racial conciliation is damn near dead on arrival.

And knowing how wicked and inherently evil the majority of blacks think us to be has pretty much erased my white guilt. If they don't want racial harmony, then why should we even try?

by Anonymousreply 68August 18, 2018 11:19 AM

How Can I Cure My White Gunt?

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by Anonymousreply 69August 18, 2018 11:59 AM

The super intelligent Asians will eliminate the whites very soon. Blacks, be patient!

by Anonymousreply 70August 18, 2018 12:31 PM

Really r69? Right in front of my salad? Damn!!

by Anonymousreply 71August 18, 2018 12:40 PM

Do you think the Han Chinese suffer from "Han guilt," as they dominate and oppress ethnic minorities in China?

by Anonymousreply 72August 18, 2018 1:05 PM

So why is OP blacklined?

by Anonymousreply 73August 18, 2018 2:02 PM

[quote][R34] Just being able to pass for "white" white is all it takes to feel guilty according to these people.

"white" white = european/asian BLOODline.

by Anonymousreply 74August 19, 2018 12:44 PM

asian = white, R74?

by Anonymousreply 75August 19, 2018 3:58 PM
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