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Mid 30's. Been married for over 10 years. And we don't have a boyfriend. Are we even gay?

2018 = poly or bust

by Anonymousreply 6June 22, 2018 2:19 PM

Well you're a troll so there's that.

by Anonymousreply 1June 21, 2018 11:12 AM

Last week I returned to the city I lived in 10 years ago for a pride event. I was legitimately surprised by how many of the married and partnered guys I used to know were in Triads or had both a husband and boyfriend. Easily half of the guys I met that night weren't just in an open relationship but had multiple long-term and live-in partners.

by Anonymousreply 2June 22, 2018 10:57 AM

I had one of these relationships and it doesn’t work long term. They’re like assholes, one or the other will keep stretching until something unsavory occurs... (like getting a text from ex “I have HIV”)

In a committed monogamous relationship now, and very happy even if sex often takes a back seat.

by Anonymousreply 3June 22, 2018 11:40 AM

Finding one person that you're compatible enough with is difficult enough. Throwing extra people in the mix just seems like a recipe for disaster. Also it just seems a little trendy right now. Like being gay doesn't have the same oomph that it used to. Got to up the ante

by Anonymousreply 4June 22, 2018 11:48 AM

All guys - hetero - bi - gay - are horn dogs. We used to the good sense to stick to 1 significant other - or none. Then if you had a partner, maybe the sex petered out, maybe not. Maybe you should have fuck buddies, maybe not. Now people want to have the trappings of heterosexual couples (which are not in great shape nowadays - most hets don't stay coupled for life) and the old trappings of "gay lifestyle". Guys want to fuck and take a 3rd one in to spice things up and most of the time - 1 of the 3 isn't going to last all that long. Because the sexual boredom will set in. Some countries have cultures where the hetero man has a wife and mistress or prostitutes or fucks around with colleagues, etc. But there is really no great argument to announcing some sort of formal thruple - neither for heteros are gays. It seems like an outlier possibility - where it could be satisfactory - a small % of the population. Most of the others are just people trying to keep hot sex.

Stick with the 1, with maybe a side fuckbud. Or don't get into any couple and fuck your brains out until you're unfuckable because of age and looks.

by Anonymousreply 5June 22, 2018 1:59 PM

R5 I think you're right. There's a small percentage of people wear polyamory is right for them. But it's incredibly trendy right now

by Anonymousreply 6June 22, 2018 2:19 PM
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