I feel so torn about this stuff.
On the one hand, if you want to declare yourself trans and live as the opposite gender, then you do you. It's no skin off my nose, and really has no impact on me.
On the other hand I am bothered by puberty blockers, and letting four year olds declare themselves to be trans. I saw some clips from a network special where a four year old girl is now living as a boy, her parents transferred her to a new school because she wasn't accepted as a boy at her old school. Has the concept of a tomboy been completely thrown out? Are all effeminate boys non-binary now? When I was young I had two sisters and no brothers. I played with their dolls with them, and did lots of "girly things." As I grew older I developed more "masculine" interests, but I also still do things that are considered feminine. My grandmother taught me to knit and crochet and I still do that. I have blond hair and fair skin so I wear a lot of pink and lavender and light blue because they look good with my skin tone. Pale pink is actually my favorite color, I find it to be soothing and calming. So does that make me "not a man."
Maybe we need to focus on getting rid of the gender stereotypes altogether, start understanding that colors and fragrances don't have gender, that girls can be rough and tumble, and that boys can be nurturing, and that those things are okay. I feel like the drive lately is to rigidify the stereotypes, and then declare anyone who doesn't fall into those narrow definitions to be non-conforming. Give the kids a chance to grow up. If they feel like they are the wrong sex, then ask them why and explain to them that girls can like "boy" things and boys can like "girl" things. If they still feel like they need to change gender, let them do it when they are adults.
I also have grave concerns about things like women's shower rooms, and the whole cotton ceiling thing. Again, you be you, but you have to let other people be themselves as well. If a lesbian doesn't want to have sex with an MTF, she doesn't have to, and you don't get to shame her for it. Sexual attraction is the one area where, really, you get to discriminate based on any criteria you choose. MTF Youtubers go on about the cotton ceiling and how lesbians refusing to have sex with someone because they have a penis are transphobic and wrong. It feels so rapey. No means no, it doesn't matter what the reason is. Anyone should be allowed to say no to sex with anyone they want, for any reason. To suggest otherwise is to argue for rape culture. Women have a right to feel safe in women only spaces, they have a right to request a female perform pelvic exams, and expect a female, not a male "woman" or a non-binary person with a beard to arrive in response to their request.
I also have a problem with trans people stating that the terms Gay and Lesbian are transphobic. Or that gays and lesbians are genital obsessed. That smacks of homophobia to me, which just leads to a circle of transphobia/homophobia accusations.
I assume that the majority of trans people are not like this, and it is just the fringe whack-a-doodles on the net that are screaming out and making the rest look bad. I hope so.