You’re allowed to slap one celebrity in the face— really hard— with no ramifications or consequences

Kanye

People who start "You're allowed to slap one (insert category here) in the face - really hard - with no ramifications or consequences" threads.

Kanye

The nearest Kardashian.

Roseanne

John Legend

Justin Bieber.

Andy Cohen, without hesitation.

David Thewlis.

Really hard?

Olivia de Havilland.

Mose RcGowan.

Lee Pace

Kelly Ripa

Alex Jones.

TRump

Susan fucking Sarandon. I’d slap her so hard she’d spit her teeth out.

Farrah Abraham because she's a talentless cunt who is trying to matter.

Mitch Pileggi - after having makeup sex with Howie Dean, I'd slap Mitch in the face and pray he slaughters my hole as punishment.

BTW, when we get to sportsball people, I'm using Howie Long.

Jeff Bezos

Joy Ann Reid. I'd slap the black off her!

Zendaya

What r2 said.

Lena Dunham

Ben affleck with my cock!

Hell, Ben affleck with Lena Dunham's cock.

Katie Lee

How old are you, OP? You would want to slap someone really, really hard? You wouldn't want to hit them or punch them but slap them?

Ali Fedotowsky.

Meghan McCain

Ann Coulter

Madonna , since 2010

I didn't want to be guilty of encouraging violence against women so I picked Ann Coulter.

r30 Ann Coulter is a horse not a celebrity

Jimmy Fallon right in the middle of one of his fake laughing bits.

I'll settle for watching Jason Momoa beat him up with water again though. Satisfying in every way.

Anna wintour

"Judge" Jeannine Piro.

r36 That's not a celebrity that's a talking anal wart

r29 That's not a celebrity but an ice cold fridge

Still say Andy Cohen. Now and forever.

Mitzi Gaynor

Debra Messing.

Matt Bomer.

Jada, Will and all the Smiths!

Beyonce. Maybe that would wake her up to get away from the Liar and Cheat she is married to.

At least two of you called me a celebrity!

Ryan Secrets

Corey Lewandowski

Since Susan Sarandon already got a slap from R16, I'll choose Mika Brzezinski.

Another one for Kanye. All the slaps in the world aren't enough.

No wait: STEPHEN MILLER.

has-been rocker Ted Nugent, but like someone up thread said, it would be more like a punch in the face, a slap is too girlie

Papa Neil

Yes R50, I'll hold your jacket for you. . The problem is, once just wouldn't be enough. I'd never get tired of punching that slack faced little cockmuppet.

I think we might be able to get a DL consensus on Miller. There's really nobody worse on the planet.

I’m sure there is a long line, but Mike Pence. I can wait

R48, and why all the hate for Susan Sarandon? Oh, that's right...because she actually had the cheek to reject supporting a phony, warmongering cunt like Hillary Clinton, is it? But of course!

Angela Lansbury. Such a slut.

Did I mention Andy Cohen yet?

Bella Thorne.

Steve Harvey, slap those fuckin' oversized horse teeth out of his mouth.

Rosie O’donnell

Jennifer Lopez. Who the fuck buys her music??? Scheriously.

Rosie's a nice choice.

R56 you must be fucking around, Bush & Trump! What's her John Bircher Hat trick going to be??

Paris Dennard—that stepin fetchit uncle tomming dwarf

Frankie Grandé. Just because I can. I'd kick his half-sister Ariana Grandé in the cuntbone.

Angela Lansbury

Michael Lucas

David O Russell or Jared Leto.

R31, I agree with Madonna but my intense dislike goes back to 1984.

This fucker.

R71, Looks like Woods got the face he deserved.

Andrew Rannells.

Markle.

Nicole Kidman

Rebel Wilson

A toss-up between Scott Baio and Tucker Carlson. Also, I'd like to be wearing several big rings or brass knuckles.

Oh, wait, Piers Morgan, yeah, that bastard.

James Comey.

Norah o donnel. I can't stand that smug can't. Also Sally Quinn.

I'd punch Matt Taibbi

Meryl Streep

Roseanne while saying"Snap Out Of It".

Manu!

R84 That's Mr. President to you!

Ronan Farrow.

Kellyanne Conway

This cunt. For taking an incredible opportunity to bring more acceptance, strength, and power to the LGBTQ community and fucking it all up by being nothing more than an ignorant, hypocritical Trump humper.

Tom Hanks, no contest.

I would LOVE to smack the smug right off Justin Timberlake’s face. Hate his pompous guts.

Mel Gibson. I'm a lez so it would make him even angrier.

And second choice Susan Sarandon. "I don't vote with my vagina." Well, maybe you should -- it's clearly smarter than the rest of you!

Both Simon Cowell & Piers Morgan

92 threads and no fucking Laura Ingraham

Taylor swift

R88, You mean this fake cunt. Perhaps call Jenner Faccunt.

Andy Cohen. It might correct his eyes.

Tea Leoni

The #1 answer is always going to be Andy Cohen!

Matt Damon. slap him and shove my dick in his mouth!

Barbara Walters the most smug condescending unctuous interviewer ever. I don't care how old, frail and demented she may be now. I'd knock her clear across a freeway.

R100. LOL! Me too.

Shonda Rimes.I hate the shondaverse!

Ronaldo. Slap him with the truth. Come out of the closet..the CLOSET killsSs

Ava DuVernay, a talentless smug bitch who stunk at directing Wrinkle in Time. Also, Lena Waithe, an average talent who got a lot of heat because she is a black lesbian. They both play the race card as their entitlement to careers they don't deserve based on talent. .

Madonna, right upside her plastic face.

Justin Bieber. Slap his face with my dick then shove it down his throat.

Angelina Jolie. Tori Soellung and Angie Harmon are in a second place tie.

^^^^ Tori Spelling

Tori Soellung is how you'd say Tori Spelling if you had a cleft palate.

r104 I second DuVernay. In a town of entitled white men she somehow manages to out-smug them all.

Brie Larson

Chris Pratt

Chuck Norris

Ted Nugent

Chris Pratt.

Shut the fuck up Jesus boy.

Visionary video director Ava DuVernay

I get a little uncomfortable with the Ava DuVernary hate on DL. It seems just a bit coded for my taste. And before you preach how it’s ok to hate a black woman and that’s its a weird reverse racism to feel people of color are above reproach- spare me. I live in Trump’s America and know a dog whistle when I hear it.

Tom Hiddleston. Slap him with my dong and then deep dong him all night long. That skinny bastard seems like he was built to take dong

[slap] Wake up, Anthony Bourdain! [slap] Wake up! [slap] We need you!

[quote]I get a little uncomfortable with the Ava DuVernary hate on DL. It seems just a bit coded for my taste. And before you preach how it’s ok to hate a black woman and that’s its a weird reverse racism to feel people of color are above reproach- spare me. I live in Trump’s America and know a dog whistle when I hear it.

So disliking a black celebrity is per se racist?

Woody Allen

Most of those names sound good but I would have to go with Trump but I could not stop at a slap. I would tear his throat out with my teeth.

Alan Dershowitz

[quote]BTW, when we get to [bold]sportsball[/bold] people, I'm using Howie Long.

I’m loving this expression. Second time I saw it today, I wonder if it’s the same “bloke.” And Long is a good choice, BTW.

I also love R91, alas it wouldn’t work out, since I’m a male, but don’t think there isn’t love there!

OP, I beg you. BEG you, please let me have two. I can’t decide between Kim or Kanye. If you won’t give me two, I have to then switch it to Bill Cosby.

124 responses and nobody said Cosby yet?

Sorry r124, you beat me, r125, by a second.

That’s ok, R126. I often beat myself for seconds.

Wait, that’s probably not what you meant.

The only people who use the term "race card" are ignorant racist and low life fools.

Sean Hannity

Lena Dumbhams

Matt Lauer

Lance Armstrong

[quote] I get a little uncomfortable with the Ava DuVernary hate on DL. It seems just a bit coded for my taste. And before you preach how it’s ok to hate a black woman and that’s its a weird reverse racism to feel people of color are above reproach- spare me. I live in Trump’s America and know a dog whistle when I hear it.

Those are your neuroses. Don't force them on us.

Robert DeNiro ... it's not even close.

Lin Manuel Miranda

Can't believe I forgot L-MM. The worst.

Sandy Duncan

Judy Davis

Gary Oldman

Julia Gillard

Another vote for Susan Sarandon; I don't mind waiting in line behind R11 and other posters.

David Thewlis? This one puzzles me...

Robert Wagner

For killing the beauty that was Natalie Wood.

OJ Simpson

Kirk Cameron

Helen Lawson

Madonna

R144, If Helen had a dollar for every time she was slapped in the face she never would have had to appear on basic cable.

R140 Here we are, taking care of Susan:

Paul Ryan.

Easy choice.

Taylor swift.

Just insufferable and her little rat face could do for a good slapping

Apparently there is an episode of How I Met Your Mother dedicated in part to NPH getting his face slapped.

This thread reminds me of the line in The Maltese Falcon where Sam Spade says to Joel Cairo "When you're slapped you'll take it and like it" at which point Joel gets three vicious slaps to the face.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote]Paul Ryan. Easy choice.

It would be an easy choice for someone who didn’t read the OP. It specifically said no politicians, you muppet.

Dear R117. Spend 5 minutes with Ava and you will forget any notion of racism against her. She is an ego maniac and if anyone is racist it's her. She feels entitled to a career because of her status as a black woman who claims to be oppressed by the industry. In reality, she had a powerful position at one of the studios prior to become a director. Nobody plays the race card better than her, to her own advantage. And she is not very talented, which has nothing to do with race. Lena Horne and Sammy Davis Jr. and Michael Jackson are three of the most talented people in history, and nobody qualifies them because of their race. They were the best at their craft. No question.

Susan Sarandon

Eminem I hate that ugly angry little rat face. 40 something but with the mind of a anti social 12 year old boy. Yuck.

r155 He's gross and DONE

Jaden Smith.

Owen Jones and Lily Allen. I can't wait until "slap" is upgraded to "bitch lick". Owen Jones and Lily Allen need ONE good bitch lick each. Gotta put your shoulder behind that.

Nearest American phrase would be "pimp slap". Mother and other wise no account father didn't give me good food to waste on a mere "slap".

Ariana Grande.. I hate her because she believes in the Devil

[quote]Jaden Smith.

Dafuq I did?

Shia Labeouf

Gwyneth Paltrow

All of them.

they need to sit down & shutthefuck up when not singing/dancing/acting.

if they can't do the latter (ex. ktrash), they need to die.

Amandla Stenberg

Roseanne

Jon Erik Hexum

Cardi B

Stripper/borderline hooker/wannabe pop star

talentless slut

SLAP!!!

R167 Whaddya mean "borderline?" She's full on whore.

Kanye

Don’t understand the Rosie O hate. Yup, she can be a big mouth broad but she most definitely speaks truth to power. (And she is a huge tipper; indicative of decent character.)

r168, I was trying to be nice.

Trump

Kushner's face is asking for slapping.

DJT, with a shovel, repeatedly?

Justice Anthony M. Kennedy

Janet Jackson. Except, I fear when you slap her, an ugly tit pops out.

Cesar Romero

Lady Gags

Lady boy Gaggag

[quote]It would be an easy choice for someone who didn’t read the OP. It specifically said no politicians, you muppet.

Well, it's not in the title Mary Hall Monitor!

You are really strict. I imagine you are a really bossy bottom.

Dr Phil’s wife. I despise that creepy bitch.

This is merely a different set of cheeks to slap--I want to slap Christopher Meloni's ass cheeks, also Tim Tebow's delicious ass adding a squeeze to his with the slap plus a searching probe of his asscrack. With Christopher Meloni it would be more to see how much the ass cheeks bounce when smacked right where they protrude the most. Actually with both of them I don't think I could stop with just one, it would have to be a full on spanking.

Kimye

[quote]Well, it's not in the title Mary Hall Monitor!

How long do you want the fucking title to be?

[quote]You are really strict. I imagine you are a really bossy bottom.

Dom top.