What should I do?

no. you are NOT overreacting. GO.

Can't help ya now, Op; but to prevent future maladies: 1 Tbsp of Olive Oil (ingest), daily.

^^ make it every other day,

You could try a harsher laxative OP. I used Colace and all the things you mentioned to no avail once when I was 5 days blocked. Even suppositories did nothing. Out of desperation I bought a harsh chemical laxative and whoosh...….

Sounds like rectal cancer.

Get yourself to the ER, Op, NOW!

A former coworker suddenly experienced difficulty 'eliminating' over the winter holidays. A week later (New Years) the coworker was diagnosed with colon cancer. Coworker was gone by Labor Day.

Dates and oats porridge OP. Go for a walk and drink lots of water. Godspeed.

Didn't you do this EXACT SAME post sometime last year? Fuck off. It's not cute.

Try Miralax. You'll probably be whooshing away in no time. But, honestly, if your entire abdomen is sore, go to the emergency room. You don't want your intestines to perforate.

glycerin suppositories - It's time for help on the other end.

F&F. Scat thread.

Die in a fire, OP. You sick fuck.

It's not cancer. I don't usually get constipated like this but I was on antibiotics and pain killers for a few days, so I think they messed me up. I don't have any other meds or suppositories on hand. I'll wait a few more hours and hope for a miracle.

^^ DL Drama Kaweeeeeeeen!

How long has it been since your last bowel movement? Your choice on urgent care. If your stomach is starting to hurt, it might be a sign that you are going to have a bowel movement soon.

If you don't have one within the next 3 hours, you might want to try the urgent care. I am not familiar with senokot. I recommend lots of water and 2 dulcolax (green box) when you are backed up and if it's been a while, you will need to keep drinking water as you wait. Definitely make more water and fiber a regular part of your routine.

Were the painkillers opiates? If so, eat a pint of ice cream and wait.

Tylenol with Codeine, R15, so yes.

Four days, R14.

Orange juice OP ! It works like a charm .

Go to the ER! It could be your appendix!

It's not my appendix, R18.

I'm going to try and lie down for a bit and see if I can relax.

Good luck, OP. Keep us posted.

Smoking a cigarette with some hot coffee works for a lot of people OP. I know that sounds weird, but my father learned that trick in the Navy, and he continued it until he died(whenever he was backed up.) And he was not a smoker.

Take a few spoons of coconut oil and drink warm (not hot) water throughout the day. Magnesium or a good vitamin c powder also work as laxatives.

OP, I have a word for you: Enema.

Super colon cleanse was on sale on amazon two 12oz jars for 10 dollars that should make you shit all day long.

You can also give yourself a gentle abdominal massage, it seems silly but it really helps.

We seem to do this on a regular basis.

Reach in and pull it out. I'm serious.

pull from the side of your anus that's closest to your tailbone.

In Australia they give you "movicol" to clean you out - 3 sachets in water a day. Various brand names listed on US equivalency web sites.

Mineral oil, mixed in some yogurt, will help it slide right out.

That’s a direct result of the painkillers. It’ll pass but in the meantime laxatives. You can buy special laxatives for just Are. Made to deal with this painkiller constapation.

I took codeine and got extremely constipated. I gave myself a Fleets enema and everything came out within 5 minutes.

Dear Lord in Heaven!

Eat an entire head of iceberg lettuce seasoned with oil and vinegar. It's Roter-Rooter for your colon.

Go to a Trump rally, it makes me want to take a shit every time I see that cheetos face.

When you are done, make sure you wipe.

Get fucked by big long thick dick! The dick will break apart the hard shit! Voila!

Definitely enema time. Warm water will do the trick.

have you tried jumping jacks, OP? i suggest you do them in front of the toilet.

Magnesium citrate. Don't plan on leaving the house.

Magnesium citrate is like atom bomb of laxatives.

F&F for OP as well as anyone responding and helping him with his sick scat fantasies.

I hope you die, you sick fuck.

I second Miralax.

OP is that scat queen Erna.

Another vote for magnesium citrate. And buy a second bottle in case you need it. I had a bad situation a few years ago. It was the longest three hours of my life but i finally delivered the baby

What did you name it?

Sit on the toilet, with feet on either side. Lift both heels with toes still on floor. Then lean all the time ay forward, then back to upright. Then repeat. Over and over. It may take a few minutes, but this action moves it out naturally.

Wirks for me every time.

And don’t push; pushing encourages hemhorroids.

Look, even if this is a fake constipation thread started by someone fascinated with poop, I'm glad it happened, because I have many more ideas and remedies for when it happens to me.

That's also why I don't mind ESTs so much. Often a really good thread comes out of someone's fantasy or prose.

I am going to keep F&F everyone posting in this thread from all 3 of my devices. Every single day. Until it goes grey.

If you have a legitimate issue, go to your Dr or fucking Google it.

DL is not the place for it. Bye.

Do what the mathematicians do OP, and work it out with a pencil.

Well, some people will stick their fingers down their throats to vomit.

So, try sticking your fingers up your ass and see if that helps.

OP do you have hemorrhoids? Sometimes they get so swollen that the poop wants to come out but it just can’t pass. It’s like a physical barrier. I suggest you get some Preparation. H and use it along with The laxatives. It can’t hurt. And it always works for me.

Sound sliek you have eaten something that binds a lot. I recommend a suppository laxative to do the trick.

OP stop taking the pain killers that's what's making you constipated. After I had an operation a few years ago I was given a prescription for pain killers they stopped me up for 3 days. Doctors never tell you about the side effects of medications. You will eventually take a BIG dump once the painkillers wear off.

This thread has inspired me. I’ve had a very productive morning!

Dig it out with a plastic spoon.

R49 I read some other posts written by you and you seem like a very reasonable, even easy going person(well, for DataLounge any way) so why are you so angry about what might be a made up topic? I mean, there hasn't been anything written so far which could be considered tawdry and appealing to one with a coprophilia type fetish.

Do what you have to do, but perhaps you ought to think about why you are so mad about such an inconsequential thing.

How dilated are you? I hope you don’t need a b-section! Healing time is much worse for a b-section than for a c-section.

See a doctor. Your symptoms are not to be sniffed at.

Hot shit in the chamber?

Powergreens. Mix with a glass of water, choke it down, and prepare for a literal river of Ovaltine

R57, okay I'll respond.

You already see from my other posts that I am not typically some angry troll.

But if you haven't noticed, there have been a lot of threads like this lately about toilet habits, public restrooms, "do you ever shit or fart on front of your partner," etc.

It's disgusting and turns my stomach, and is clearly started by someone who gets off on discussing poo.

If it were someone with a legit issue, he would be consulting his doctor or at least googling his symptoms. But bringing it to a discussion board like DL means he can come in and whack off to our responses.

And I will keep F&Fing him every chance I get, as well as anyone humoring this nonsense. It is fucking gross and I am tired of seeing it.

Stop eating. That’s just going to add to your problem. Drink water and have soup if you’re hungry. The painkillers have slowed down your digestion and everything is just sitting there. I recommend Dr Tobias’ 14 day cleanse from Amazon. Two pills a day and you will definitely be feeling a lot lighter.

A Colon Blow shake.

57 - Big Saturday Morning, end of the work week for many ....nobody should be as uptight and censorious as you appear to be. When I'm feeling "funny" I don't go online on threads. I tend to flex in "reality" to gain some perspective as online is the best place to get "triggered".

As for the OP. I've been constipated ONCE in the whole of my memory. I knew why; I had been on a bit of a "White, processed bread and cheese" binge which my body is not used to. And my "thing" was "right there", too.

I solved this problem the "rustic" way. Got my thin plastic gloves I keep for hair dying and various housecleaning tasks and "dislodged". What else can you do if it's "right there"? Seems that you have got yourself a "breach poo". So get plastic gloves if you have them around or else go "organic" and wash those hands as if your life depended on it and take a bath/shower and have a wipe around with bleach by retracing your steps. It's the only way since everything about your filtering system seems to have worked but the "final push" can't happen.

And ignore the hall monitor this thread seems to have attracted.

Forget the oral suggestions. Buy an old-fashioned Fleet enema at the drug store. Insert, squeeze, go sit on toilet. You'll feel much better soon.

An apple a day.

You should have Miramax onhand in the future. It is all you need to resolve constipation. I can't imagine eating all the food suggested in this thread if I am already constipated. Agony.

Fuck fiber cereal. That stuff is garbage. It often constipates you worse.

Lentils. Kidney beans. Eat them. Every day. You will move your bowels.

And yes I know OP is the scat fetishist but I’m responding for people who have real issues with regularity.

Go to the grocery store and buy a bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Drink the whole bottle. In a few hours you'll be AOK.

A couple of glasses of prune juice could also help, its simple and natural.

OP must be a top. Bottoms would have handled this in a split second. Would never get constipated to begin with.

OP is a disgusting, broken piece of garbage. Who cares if he is a top or bottom?

I would call him a piece pf shit, but he would probably get off on that.

I hope he dies. Slowly and painfully.

Take a glass of water with epsom salts. Stay near the bathroom for the next 24 hours.

The angry poo troll is hilarious! Who gets so worked up about-- and wastes time on-- something so inconsequential? The angry poo troll, that's who!

Another vote for magnesium citrate, or an enema will also do the job. I’d try that before the doctor. The doctor will probably just tell you the same thing. Don’t delay though, get it solved before it gets worse.

If it’s opioid related, this is a very common side effect. Keep some more of whatever works on hand, and in the future take Metamucil or something similar every day and eat high fiber bread or tortillas. They now make high fiber, low carb wheat tortillas that will help keep you regular after this has resolved itself. Eat lots of kale, cauliflower, celery, zucchini and spinach. Riced cauliflower is good for this and can go in a lot of other things. They sell it in frozen bags at Costco.

Quit the opioids as soon as you possibly can.

"high fiber, low carb wheat tortillas" - tortillas are carbs. Fiber is carb. What is this stupidity about marketing buzzwords.

Just close your eyes and think of England, dear.-Queen Vicki

People really need to know about Miralax. Given enough time, it can even soften the stuff already in the chamber so that you aren't trying to pass a rock and end up with a fissure.

[quote]We seem to do this on a regular basis.

Heh. Regular.

Prunes (aka dried plums) own this thread.

Odd response to a legitimate question.

As a former nurse, constipation is a major issue, particularly as a side effect of pain medications.

Most people ignore the issue, to their regret.

Codeine is the reason I got a hemorrhoid in the first place. Like OP I was constipated after a codeine treatment, pushed too much when the pain became unbearable and voila. Have been living with that fucking hemhorroid ever since.

It's an ass baby and you're having a breech birth. Call the midwife!

Can't get the bomb bay doors open?

If it's "right there" (you can feel it with your fingers), it may be impacted. In which case, (sorry to be gross) reach up there and try to break it up so it can pass. No fun but not terrible. The relief is worth it! Good luck.

Cup of coffee, cigarette, a fleet enema, and a whiff of poppers

Y'all are just straight up nasty.

You know good and well that OP and many of the responses are from scat fetishists who get off on this disgusting nonsense, and yet you still contribute to the thread.

Sick fucks.

R88 Isn't it too jaded to assume someone asking for suggestions on relieving consitipation can't be genuine?

As an RN, if you go to UCC or call the doctor, they will say the same thing unless you have severe abdominal pain where you are bent over or you have a fever, throwing up, etc.--then you need to go to ER. If it's constipation due to opiates and you don't have any complicated medical problems, they will tell you to take a laxative first like Milk of Magnesia and if that doesn't help, give yourself a Fleets enema.

First of all, opiates may be needed, especially after surgery or someone in severe pain but try to get off of them as soon as possible! As someone said above, take a stool softener like Colace or even Mira-lax with the opiate to prevent constipation, make sure you drink plenty of water, increase your fiber intake like fruits.

As for the anti-poop troll, why are you on this thread anyway? People deal with constipation all the time, it's a human issue.

OP reporting back. Nothing was helping so first thing in the morning I went and picked up some magnesium citrate and suppositories. I'm relieved to tell you that things began to move and I'm feeling much better now. I'm certain this was caused by the T3s at least now I'll be aware of the side effects should I ever need codien again.

Sorry I ruined your day anti poop troll. I hope you get as worked up and offended at all of the racism on this board as you did over this thread.

Glad to hear that everything came out ok, OP! :-D

And R83 never got fucked again

R91 Good to hear OP. Sometimes you need a little help. I recommend you take some probiotics to help restore the health of your digestive system. Medications can do a number on your flora.

I get my probiotics from rimming. Anomynous

I love and concur with all of R87's advice, and will add try swallowing a big load. If you can't get someone else's dick and load readily, swallow your own. It is known to have this effect due to prostaglandins in semen, which relax the smooth muscle of the colon. Another good reason why not to swallow load (s) on an empty stomach. Hope you get some relief soon OP; four days sounds dreadful.

Thanks for checking back in, OP. Glad things worked out for you.

OP/r91, thank you for the update. I've been worried about you!

Take magnesium citrate dear, the powdered form. Also lots of coffee.

Try acacia fiber. It works like a charm. And drink plenty of water with it.

Even if if it’s not colon cancer it could be an impaction, which if left alone could mean surgery, removal of part of your intestines, and a colostomy bag. You better run to the ER!

Enema

Poop troll

And it makes me wonder why we have an opiate problem when constipation is worse!

Eat a whole bunch of sugarless candies. The sugar alochols (Maltitol, for example) have an extreme laxative effect in most people. Eat a lot of it and you are guaranteed to have a few rounds of explosive diarrhea. Trust.

The Awesome Sauce or Baby Gravy I recommend in R96 sounds much better than sugar-free candy!

Yes, the Hellbears!

My all time favorite suggestion for constipation: Miramax.

I don't know, I prefer Lionsgate or Dreamworks.

This thread is hilarious.

Eat a quart of sauerkraut - including the juice.

Enema of the people.

[quote] This thread is hilarious.

Including the anti-poop troll.

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the opioids go down. lol.

Icecream usually gets things moving along for me. I like an occasional OxyContin or Percocet, so my plumbing gets backed up every now and then. A daily colace has helped reduce my gut ruts tremendously. 😀

All's well that ends well.

Find a backdoor fuckbuddy with a smaller dick. 😉

Yes, r111

#91/OP - Glad you are doing better!

If your constipation becomes a regular thing while you are on pills, I recommend the gold star standard of 2 dulcolax (green box) every 2-3 days until you can get off the pain meds. I tried Miralax once and found it too slow to be much help.

So glad you are feeling better!

OP = The Marquis de Sade

Do some abdominal crunches or go running. Anything that gets your blood pumping will get the peristaltic movement of your intestines going as well. As for food cherries, blueberries, or strawberries to do it for me! Also, Halo Top “ice cream”!

Heath Bar—butter toffee, yum!

^^^ oops! Wrong thread—my bad.

Melt butter or margarine in coffee or prune juice for quick relief next time. Always take some sort of softener or laxative when on narcotic pain meds also.

Old school. Douche tube and water cable. Warm water. Very low pressure.

OMG, r121!

The introduction of DL's anti-poop troll has been a fascinating revelation.

I knew we had some people who dance to the beat of a different drummer, but he's in a class of his own.

Everybody poops! Even the Queen of England!

She can’t come to the phone right now.

R96, what happens when swallowing semen on an empty stomach?

You get pregnant.

Tee hee, the scat queen got another thread crossed out. Fret not, closet scat fans - Im sure another titillating "I shit my pants at work" thread, or "(Insert Food) gives me the shits" thread is right around the corner for you to innocently commiserate on.

I'll take an anti-poop troll over these sick fuck scat queens any day.

.... ENEMA ! Can't recommend it enough. I have been on pain meds, so I know what it does. They are like $2 for a box and work almost instantly! Seriously. An er will likely offer to do the same and who wants that?? It also doesn't have side effects like laxatives do. No all day cramping and gas. One and done!

You need to go to urgent care. Not evacuating for more than 3 days is bad news.

Once they flush you out, start exercising regularly. It helps tremendously. I can’t overstate that.

Also, pain pills will constipate you, FYI. If you must take them, see your MD and make a TX plan in order to counteract it.

OP already reported back R91 that he's fine now.

Yes, you missed the blessed event, apparently..

Was this what really happened, OP?