Celebrity couples you don’t buy as happy

Related thread here.

Um, all of them?

I’ve heard plenty of times that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are actually miserable together and just play nice for the red carpet.

Actors are never really happy, it's not in their DNA. Far too neurotic.

[quote]Um, all of them?

I think a rare few actually are. Hugh Jackman & his beard - I mean, wife do strike me as happy. Just not in the sexual sense.

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher seem fake as hell.

Kyra and Kevin are happy. Look for Keith and Nicole to divorce within the 18 months.

Nicole & Keith are at the top of my list too.

I don’t buy Tom Brady & Gisele.

R2 Tom & Rita, really? Sources? I’ve never heard that.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

She always has the same closed eyed smile every time you see the two together

Barak and Michelle Obama

I think he prefers non-black women -- wasn't his ex-girlfriend Japanese American. But I think he understood that he needed a African American wife if he were to have a career in politics

Now, Michelle is the one into black women ... right Ms. Jarrett

I

Victoria and David Beckham. They looked miserable at the Royal wedding.

Kim and Kanye

R12 Definitely Kim & Kanye. Total mess.

I agree about the Obamas. It may be blasphemy to say but everything about both of them screams fake. His public persona is very offputting in the way you get with a certain kind of Ivy Leaguer. Michelle doesn't have that particular attitude, but she's annoying all the same.

This thread came to mind thanks to the whack jobs in those endless A rmie H ammer threads. They are now on the warpath taking down anyone who suggests that he and his wife might not be the picture of wedded bliss they present to the world. Because, you know, they look happy on social media and that means EVERYTHING.

Reese Witherspoon and her husband seem to be unhappy alcoholics.

Same with NPH and David Burtka, and of course the gossip here and elsewhere is that it's an open marriage and they're both unhappy.

[Quote] I think Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively oversell it.

I think Blake oversells everything.

Tom Daley and his husband

SJP and Matthew Broderick.

Mike Pence and Mother.

1) Elton & David, 2) Ellen & Portia, 3) Rosie O. & anyone.

Will & Jada. She's a nightmare. Always whining about something.

R21 He’s no prize himself.

Billary & Hillary Clinton

How dare you, R19! Just look at the passion between us!

I have "I Love Lucy" on every morning on Hallmark as I get ready. No wonder Ricky eventually divorced her - such a selfish woman. She stole John Wayne's footprints from Grauman's Chinese Theatre - she should have been tossed in jail for that. Broke into Richard Widmark's home. Always trying to get new furniture, get new hats, trying to mooch her way into Ricky's shows. She never gave a shit about Little Ricky. She always wants something - and schemes up ways to get it - "who cares! I WANT it." I don't think I've ever seen Lucy do anything nice for anyone - Ricky, Ethel, Fred, Carolyn Applebee, and, I don't she even paid Mrs. Trumble for babysitting. I hope Rick got a new - young hot wife....like Barbara Eden.

Disagree about the Obamas. Let me believe in my fairy tale fantasy plz

Jennifer Aniston and every pairing she's had with a man. All unhappy and fake.

Most politicians

Did he ever date a black woman before Michelle? In all the pics of him that I've seen when he was young, he was always with white or Asian woman.

R10 Did he ever date a black woman before Michelle? In all the pics of him that I've seen when he was young, he was always with white or Asian woman.

[quote]Reese Witherspoon and her husband seem to be unhappy alcoholics.

Details, please. Why? I’m not saying you’re wrong, just never had that impression.

Gotta love the freeper trolls - they attack Barack and Michelle but pretend the Trumps are a storybook couple.

I personally nominate Travolta and Preston

George Clooney and Amal.

You can't lookmore unhappy than the Orange Dumpster Fire and the Slovenian Hooker.

Jay and Bey

Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Moder

I think Mila and Ashton are actually good together -

Another vote for Hanks and Wilson. He's a drunk and she's his handler.

Big vote for Ryan and Blake

[quote] Details, please. Why? I’m not saying you’re wrong, just never had that impression.

Your wish is my command. Here they are being arrested for a DUI.

"You're about to find out who I am!"

R29 He wanted a girl just like mom.

R40 Thanks! I forgot all about that tiny little incident. Ouch.

Justin and Jessica

Carrie Underwood and her husband.

[quote]"You're about to find out who I am!"

I didn't watch the whole clip, but I made it to the part where he patiently explains to her why he felt he had to put handcuffs on her. Can you imagine your average American citizen being treated so gently by a cop?

Hanks and WIlson produced Chet Haze - can there be no better evidence that they are not a happy couple?

^^^^cracking me up

Mariska and that fine looking man of hers.

She's obviously into boo boo kitty and he may be strictly dickly.

Obama lived most of younger life as a "fish out of water" kid who primarily leaned heavy into the white heritage of his mother's family. When he met Michelle, I think she represented the family he wanted but did not have. She just happened to be black. Interestingly Michelle's brother married a white woman and Malia seems to prefer white men.

Pierce Brosnan and the whale he’s married to.

See I believe he really loves her even though I do not understand it.

I agree, R51. Some men like heavy women. Strange but true.

I don't buy tom brady and gisele either!

Sofia Vergara & Joe Mangianello.

Joe seems like a nice working class guy made good. Despite reports of Sofia being a bitch DIVA, she seems happy and fun to me. I hope they are happy because its a very attractive couple of 2 people who should be good together.

I cannot believe that Ryan is much into pussy sex. Blake seems thirsty.

NPH & David.

QEII and Philip.

Another vote for Ryan and Blake. I think Ryan is a total fake and is probably controlling. He seems to be a total narcissist and doesn’t want a wife that can ever upstage him. For all intents and purposes this guy should be lucky to get cast in a dinner theater production. But that stop ass movie series Deadpool revived a quickly dying movie career.

Fuck all the people saying the Obama’s I refuse to discuss or believe such things. Besides the scumbag Republicans were searching far and wide to use anything against the Obama’s or discredit them somehow. As for Barack dating mostly non-white women remember he was raised by a white parent and grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. By the time he hit undergrad, law school, I’m sure he wasn’t sureounded by a ton of eligible black women.

Will and Jada lease this thread.

The Obamas should not be in this thread either...

The list would be shorter if we named only the happy couples together. Oh maybe there aren’t any.

R62 Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick. Felicity Huffman & William H. Macy. There, done.

R62 There was a thread about that. It didn’t go on for long...

William H Macy & Felicity Huffman are pretty much the only celeb couple who seem genuinely happy to me

Am I a hopeless cynic if I don’t believe a single word of celebrities gushing over their spouse/partner in interviews?

R50... I think they love each other. They're not worried about images and accept each other.

A harder question... what celebrity couple seem genuinely happy and love each other? That should be another thread, but it would be a short one.

Skipped to the bottom of the thread, and missed R62 comment. Already said... lol.

I wouldn't have thought that Neil Young and Daryl Hannah would be a couple but they just got married. Those crazy kids!

Oh, r63 beat me to it.

I read something recently to the effect of “Love doesn’t need to be proven. It just is.” Hence why my bullshit-meter starts to go off when I hear a celebrity go on about their wonderful partner or when I read a long, flowery declaration of love on social media.

I’m sure some of these couples do love each other, but when they try to create this image of perfection they’re overcompensating for something.

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel.

Aaron Rodgers and any female.

I can’t figure out Ryan and Blake . It’s either an open marriage or they are both bi/gay. I have a credible source who has a magnificent home near them in New England and sees Ryan around with very hot ( pretty ) young men with Blake nowhere in sight . His take is that Ryan is gay and can live safely with his secret there . I just don’t get her or her angle ? She seems much more deceptive and calculating than him .

Some time ago I read a gossip item about a waitress eavesdropping on Rita Wilson and Tina Fey having brunch. She said they were giggling and saying very uncomplimentary things about Tom Hanks.

Would anyone have said “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie” before the “shocking”/batshit crazy airport tarmac split?

I remember people on DL saying that either they were super in love or because they both had so many kids and so many failed marriages behind them, they would “hold on to this relationship for dear life”.

It seemed to take everybody surprised when they split—and so nastily too...

R53, Tom and Gisele began dating after she visited the Patriots locker room after a game and Tom brushed her off. She then recounted the incident in an interview and concluded that Tom might be gay because he was so brusque with her. Brady heard about what she said, called her and they began dating.

[quote]Would anyone have said “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie” before the “shocking”/batshit crazy airport tarmac split?

I wouldn’t have. They fooled me. So did Chris Pratt & Anna Faris.

1) Beyoncé & Jay-Z, 2) Hanks & Wilson, 3) Elton & David, 4) Ellen & Portia, 5) GW Bush & Laura

[quote]GW Bush & Laura

I would never have thought of that one but I agree. I always had the feeling she settled for him.

I think she despises GWB now.

R82 Mrs. Bush, come sit by me.

Soon-to-be-newlyweds Nick Jonas & Priyanka Chopra. What’s the over/under on how long these two crazy kids make it?

Oprah and Stedman are probably happy. Or I'd like to think they are. Though she is still tight with Gayle.

R85 I said as much in the open relationships thread, but I can see them having an open relationship after all these years.

What R72 said.

Love is like a fart – if you have to force it, it’s probably shit

R88... Profound words of wisdom.

trump and Melanie *wink*

Have Faith Hill & Tim McGraw made the list yet? They seem just a little too good to be true.

Bruce Springsteen & Patti Scialfa

Bono & Ali, Sting & Trudie

[quote]Bono & Ali

That’s a new one. What makes you think so?

NPH and David Burtka are truly miserable, but NPH stays because he wants people to put him on a pedestal and couldn;t bear to admit his marriage didn't work out, and David Burtka needs the freedom not to work to care for the kids. But David has gained tons of weight, and they are both allegedly drinking heavily.

R95 And yet NPH’s Instagram account paints a picture of perfect couplehood. As if we needed any more proof that social media bears no resemblance to reality.

::::

R92 Patti was his mistress before he divorced his first wife, right? Once a cheater...

Kidman and Urban

Holmes and Cruise.

1. Beyonce and Jay Z. Together so they can say they're a billion dollar couple and the Beyhive can say Beyonce is a billionaire. All the "cheating" is them being with people they actually want to be with. Wouldn't be surprised if they divorce within the next five years so Beyonce can get a divorce and a single mother album out of it.

2. Victoria and David Beckham. Nobody gives a fuck about David's football skills other than Americans because David is a straight up mediocre player compared to the likes of Messi and other greats. Victoria's shit is flopping which is why the Spice Girl reunion is so wishy washy. She needs the press but she doesn't want to commit. Them being together is the biggest brand they have now.

3. Clooney and Amal. He's gay as fuck and wants to be in politics so he needed a nice clean woman with credentials. IVF twins complete it.

r85: If there's one thing I've learned from my years on DL, Steadman is Oprah's "merkin." There has never been an Oprah and Steadman. I have no idea whether Oprah and Gayle are a couple but am completely sure that Steadman is a well-paid employee.

David Tennant and his wife.

Is Steadman gay?

After the brief initial phase, I think that Bowie and Iman were not happy.

[quote]Wouldn't be surprised if they divorce within the next five years so Beyonce can get a divorce and a single mother album out of it.

Bingo.

Again, according to DL for many years past, Steadman is gay. I have no other sources. Maybe someone else will offer more compelling proof.

I think some of the bearding couples could be happy. They just have different expectations from marriage than most people.

SJP and Matt B

Matthew McCon and his wife

R104, I heard long ago that their marriage was an open one, which I think is quite plausible, considering his history. Something tells me she wasn't happy with this and that after a while they lived separate lives to state it mildly.

I agree, R107.

Jann Wenner and Matt Nye.

Beyonce and Jay won’t get divorced until she has a new guy lined up. I’m thinking an African politician, a biracial athlete or a an old white Wall Street guy turned philanthropist.

....

Mr and Mrs Les Moonves

President and Mrs. D. Trump

Who’s rumored to be on the skids? Someone here has to have an inside track on the gossip.

Woody Allen & Sun-Yi

[quote]Woody Allen & Sun-Yi

On the skids, you mean? Or just less than happy?

r22 Will's bank account and career say otherwise. He is still a prize.

r100 I don't buy this politics crap. How long is Clooney going to wait for this alleged goal? As for the wife, he might just liked her company. He was probably getting lonely so having her around works. He hasn't done jack shit in politics, just the typical celebrity fundraisers. I don't see it.

ELLEN AND PORTIA

True, R120.

[quote]He was probably getting lonely so having her around works.

Whatever the real story is behind that marriage, I don’t think “lonely” is even close.

Are Damon and his wife on here yet?

R125, on DL she must be referred to as “his rabbit-faced wife”.

Noted, R126. Je m’excuse.

Yikes r40! Reese Witherspoon is an entitled little rich bitch, ain't she?

Sharon & Ozzy

Surely Kelly Preston and John Travolta must be the owners of this thread?

Nobody buys them as a happy couple. To their credit - they've been forced to stay together by Zenu & co.

Bieber & Baldwiin. Clock is ticking loud and clear on those two.

Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin

Gisele assumed that Tom was gay because he didn’t fall at her feet? What a narcissistic cunt she is. With a horribly ugly horse face.

We have a sizable number of entertainment industry insiders here on DL. I’m surprised no one has seen any of these couples out in public and has gotten a firsthand look at how they interact with each other.

Norman Reedus and Diane Kruger

Leo D. and everyone he's "dated".

R133 They’re a match made in hell.

R130, Xenu is the Scieno version of The Devil so, no, that joke neither works nor makes any sense. You could have said something about them being bound by thetans. Or nothing at all. You could say nothing at all, especially on topics about which you’re gleefully ignorant , more often.

J0n B3rnthal and wife

Aaron Rodgers just gave an interview about how he's so attracted to Danica and so in love with her....I guess he's taking a page from Will and Jada. Remember when he used to be quiet about his personal life?

[quote]Another vote for Hanks and Wilson. He's a drunk and she's his handler.

Isn't she rumored to have her own substance abuse problems? Maybe misery loves company.

Spielberg and Kate Capshaw

Ivanka and Jared.

Business arrangements. Happiness optional.

But but but they look so in love!

For many of them, I think Happily Married Man (or Woman, or Couple) is just another role.

....

[quote]Aaron Rodgers just gave an interview about how he's so attracted to Danica and so in love with her

That’s usually the first sign of trouble in paradise.

R112 I 100% agree. Jann Wenner seems like the hardest person on earth to be married to.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burka. I think David latched on to Neil because he wanted a comfortable life. I think Neil grabbed David because that's all he could get that would put their life on hold and make Neil feel important.

R150 It’s symbiosis.

Have any of these couples split yet?

Colin Just and Scarlett Jansen.

Alec Baldwin seems miserable. Hilaria seems like she doesn’t give a shit.

R153 not surprising since she doesn't believe in monogamy.

Connor Jessup and Miles Heizer. Connor's probably thinks he's happy, but is deceived. Miles is too fucked up to be happy.