Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Overused phrases and other cliches on true crime TV shows...

The victim is always someone who "lit up the room" whenever they walked in.

The crime "shook the community to its core."

New evidence "turned the case upside down."

The perp is a "monster" according to an angry, teary-eyed family member of the victim.

by Keith Morrisonreply 101Last Saturday at 3:29 PM



I'm gonna get this son of a bitch and put him away if its the last thing I do.

by Keith Morrisonreply 104/27/2018

He was loved by everyone.

People gravitated toward him.

He knew something was off with her.

by Keith Morrisonreply 204/27/2018

She hoped to be a pediatrician someday.....

He wanted to get married and have children as soon as possible.....

Her lifelong love of art was expressed in the creative tattoos she chose for her back, arms, legs, hands and feet."

by Keith Morrisonreply 304/27/2018

He/she was just getting his/her life together.

by Keith Morrisonreply 404/27/2018

Redo it as "Let's Be a True Crime TV Show." Those threads always bring out the best of DL.

by Keith Morrisonreply 504/27/2018

In time, she found herself in her 4th marriage....

by Keith Morrisonreply 604/27/2018

Soon, she realized they weren't taking her intended route. He had turned the car onto a dirt road in and orange grove

by Keith Morrisonreply 704/27/2018

Everyone thought she'd found her Prince Charming/Mr. Right. He treated her like a queen and swept her off her feet.

by Keith Morrisonreply 804/27/2018

His neighbors described him as a loner who kept to himself.

by Keith Morrisonreply 904/27/2018

There's NO WAY she would've left her kids behind. Those kids were her whole world.

by Keith Morrisonreply 1004/27/2018

A sports injury in school resulted in the doctor prescribing him pain medication. Powerful, addictive pain medication. He soon found himself with a heroin habit,

by Keith Morrisonreply 1104/27/2018

She supported herself as an exotic dancer while deciding whether or not to go back to school

by Keith Morrisonreply 1204/27/2018

It was a quiet, tree-lined neighborhood, nothing like this ever happened before...

He was a quiet and well mannered young man, no one could have ever imagined what would happen next...

She was a daddy's little girl who everyone adored, but adolescent hormones proved difficult for this sweet girl next door to deal with, what would happen next no one would ever have predicted...

by Keith Morrisonreply 1304/27/2018

" YOU'RE SICK !!!!!! "

by Keith Morrisonreply 1404/27/2018

He said an army buddy of his was coming for a visit

by Keith Morrisonreply 1504/27/2018

"Bag it "

Maybe we can get a print off of this"

by Keith Morrisonreply 1604/27/2018

"Here it comes just in the nick of time" (usually followed up by such phrases as "I love ya", "I could kiss ya" or "your beautiful ")

_______doesn't know squat about______

"Stay on the phone until help arrives"

"He/she is out of their mind with anger/grief/rage"

"Do they have any priors?"

"Let's run a background check on them" & "Has anyone run a background check yet?"

by Keith Morrisonreply 1704/27/2018

"The Homicide team enlists the help of Patrol and the Gang Unit, and blankets the city searching for Quintarious "MegaPoochie" Jackson . . . [italic]but he is nowhere to be found.[/italic]"

by Keith Morrisonreply 1804/27/2018

This was a town where nobody locked their doors.

by Keith Morrisonreply 1904/27/2018

He swept her off of her feet and right into the morgue

-Dominick Dunne

Ernest..I'm in the morgue!

Offsite Link
by Keith Morrisonreply 2004/27/2018

The smell of decomposition overtook the officers as they pried open the door of the mobile home she shared with her fiance and their three children.

The blood spatter patterns were consistent with an upward-glancing blow from an Alabama convincin' stick.

The carpet fibers found on the body proved to be of such a revolting color and texture that no one would admit to manufacturing them.

by Keith Morrisonreply 2104/27/2018

"I devoted myself to remembering every detail I could. I was telling myself, 'You will NOT kill me!'"

by Keith Morrisonreply 2204/27/2018

It had been an unusually hot summer and police and fire units were stretched to the limit with much greater demands placed on their services. The frantic 911 call was from the neighbor of the victim, a popular school teacher-the neighbor reported seeing flames inside the basement flat..

by Keith Morrisonreply 2304/28/2018

Keith Morrison or Josh Mankewitz always ends some long story with “or was he/she/it?”, said in their creepiest voice.

Bill Hader did an awesome impersonation of Morrison on SNL years ago.

by Keith Morrisonreply 2404/28/2018

He'd give anyone the shirt off his back...

by Keith Morrisonreply 2504/28/2018

Is it weird that I heard the voice of 48 Hours' Erin Moriarty when I read all of these?

by Keith Morrisonreply 2604/28/2018

^ I love Erin, too. She plays to Mr. & Mrs. Flyover when she acts incredulous or naively shocked over revelations about the perps or victims having anything to do with affairs, kinky sex, or prostitution. I used to think she was kind of a ninny but later relized she's just reacting the way her audience would.

by Keith Morrisonreply 2704/28/2018

Responding officers always say it's "the most horrific" scene they'd ever seen in all their years of homicide work.

by Keith Morrisonreply 2804/28/2018

After a terrible divorce, single dad Joe thought he found the one when he met Marisol online in an overseas "dating" site.

Marisol was beautiful. She had just turned 18 and was working hard in her poor village's market to help feed her 10 brothers and sisters and sick elderly parents.

Joe always had a temper.

Marisol had a secret.

by Keith Morrisonreply 2904/28/2018

"The two women left the bar tipsy, not knowing what was in store...on the other side of midnight."

"He'd had problems with the law in the past, sure, starting when he was 13, but he was the father of two beautiful little girls, he'd been looking for a job, and he was starting to turn his life around."

"The behavior at the scene does not match up" with the Ramseys, Whitson tells Dateline. "It matches up a sexually sadistic person and a psychopath." So it WAS the parents, right?

"Cathy is a beautiful, smart and responsible 20-year-old student. So why didn't she come home after work like she was supposed to?"

"When a 31-year-old man suddenly dies from a mysterious illness, investigators question if there is more to the story. Could it have been a murder?"

DL Special Edition Saturday: "THE PINK GUN MYSTERY. A complicated Texas love triangle ends in murder. A pink gun leads to an arrest. Get ready for 'One Hell of a Story' "

by Keith Morrisonreply 3004/28/2018

The titles of the 48 Hours and Dateline Mystery episodes are so generic, interchangeable and forgettable, like "Dark Water" or "Into the Night", etc.

by Keith Morrisonreply 3104/28/2018

"Jeanine was a student nurse, with a smile as bright as her dreams..."

by Keith Morrisonreply 3204/28/2018

When someone is being followed:

"We've got company"

by Keith Morrisonreply 3304/28/2018

I can't believe it ........ He seemed like such a nice young man !

by Keith Morrisonreply 3404/28/2018

The lead investigator keeps a framed photo of the pretty, young female vitim on his desk for years and years after the case has gone cold.

by Keith Morrisonreply 3504/29/2018

The perp or victim is from one of the most untouchable powerful families in the city!

He was charming and ladies loved him, but...

by Keith Morrisonreply 3604/29/2018

She didn't deserve this. Nobody deserves to die like that.

by Keith Morrisonreply 3705/01/2018

“I’ve got to take a dump. Join me?”

by Keith Morrisonreply 3805/01/2018

He lawyered up. I need a bus.

by Keith Morrisonreply 3905/01/2018

The evidence just isn't there.

by Keith Morrisonreply 4005/01/2018 was pinging off a cell phone tower just 2 miles from the scene at the time of the murder...

by Keith Morrisonreply 4105/02/2018

[quote] Jeanine was a student nurse, with a smile as bright as her dreams..."

My episodes only have victims who:

always DREAMED of being a nurse.

Ever since she was hospitalised as a child with appendicitis, she hoped to become a nurse one day.....

She had been taking classes at night, with a goal of one day becoming a nurse.....until her love for pills and cocaine got in the way

She planned to become a nurse one day.....but her boyfriend had other plans for her.


And none of my women victims who "planned to one day become a nurse" were in school. They were strippers, drug addicts,, high school dropout slaves to their skanky boyfriends, single moms to a litter of kids.....but they hoped to one day become a nurse.

by Keith Morrisonreply 4205/08/2018

Brian's grown children thought there was something a little strange about his new girlfriend. She talked an awful lot about money....expensive cars, exotic vacations, designer clothing and shoes. But she didn't seem to have much income. She lived off of her dead husband's social security check.....and not much else. Brian, on the other hand, was a successful doctor/lawyer/builder/investor........and he was smitten with the vivacious redhead.

by Keith Morrisonreply 4305/08/2018

Forensic investigators noted the unusual tread patterns found on the wymmyn's body and in the undisturbed dirt near the picnic grounds near the location of the music festival, and their castings matched up with only one manufacturer and model of tire. It was a winter tire common as a replacement for Honda and Subaru AWD models sold in the state of Michigan and its neighboring states..

by Keith Morrisonreply 4405/08/2018

Things like this just don't happen here.

by Keith Morrisonreply 4505/25/2018

LOL. You guys nailed all the Dateline/48 Hours cliches.

Based on these shows, you'd think all homicide victims were blonde sorority girls or pretty trophy wives.....

by Keith Morrisonreply 4605/25/2018

"She touched so many lives." "She had a bubbly personality." "They had the perfect life/a fairy tale life."

by Keith Morrisonreply 4705/25/2018

“In this small, sleepy village.....

by Keith Morrisonreply 4805/25/2018

Stay tuned for the turn no one saw coming...

by Keith Morrisonreply 4905/25/2018

He agreed to take a polygraph but never showed up for it.

by Keith Morrisonreply 5005/25/2018

I said “this is like we are in a dateline episode”

by Keith Morrisonreply 5105/25/2018

The "Her smile lit up a room!" one is the worst. They always use this one.

by Keith Morrisonreply 5205/26/2018

She loved to laugh.

by Keith Morrisonreply 5305/28/2018

"He had a dark side behind closed doors".

by Keith Morrisonreply 5405/28/2018

She's a junior at Hudson University.

by Keith Morrisonreply 5505/28/2018

[quote]She loved to laugh.

I love when people say this. Or when they say he was “fun-loving.”

Whenever I hear someone described as fun-loving, I just have to meet them. What a fascinating individual this person who loves fun must be. Amazing really.

by Keith Morrisonreply 5605/28/2018

"Alma was so dangerous to men, she should have had a warning label right on her forehead."

Offsite Link
by Keith Morrisonreply 5705/28/2018

^ I love her! She's like the female Keith Morrison, except even scarier

by Keith Morrisonreply 5805/28/2018

Candice Delong and Judge Judy should do a show together: imagine being hunted down by Candice and then sentenced by Judy in the course of an hour. Ratings gold.

by Keith Morrisonreply 5905/28/2018

Dan Garrison [out of breath] : Oh my god! I just came home and ... and there's blood everywhere! Oh my god! My wife and my kids ... oh my god! They're dead!

911 operator: Call down, sir. Did you say you just came home?

Dan Garrison: Ahhhh! Yes, yes! I was at the gym and ... I don't know who wanted to kill them! There's blood everywhere!

911 operator: Sir, stay with me on the line.


Keith Morrison: Dan Garrison stumbled upon a grisly scene that misty September morning in Maple Grove, the kind when the air hangs suspended, when school children gather at bus stops, when spouses kiss each other hastily before rushing off to work; when summer's ghost still lingers. Not the type of morning that murder usually comes wafting into the neighborhood ...

-- Dan Garrison [in prison uniform, although producers have tried to hide it by showing only his face, fake crying]: I loved Michelle. I loved my kids ...

by Keith Morrisonreply 6005/29/2018

Your pussy stinks.

by Keith Morrisonreply 6105/29/2018

Things at the Anderson home on Rocky Ridge Way had been quiet of late. Then neighbors began to wonder, Too quiet?

by Keith Morrisonreply 6205/29/2018

The local-news interview that ended up on the cutting room but turned out to be very, very important. It's being shown in full for the First. Time. Ever!

My mama always said you don't talk shit on the dead, but I ain't gonna lie: I never liked them. They thought their shit don't stink, like he's always mowin' on the lawn and washing the cars. This whole damn street is full up with snobs. Anyways, he had one of them real nice John Deere mowers like Kenny thinks he's gonna buy when he wins big on a scratch ticket. Serious? Kenny ain't winning shit.

Anyways, she always drove outta here every morning dressed like she's goin' to court. What a whore. Here's the thing: they're both dead now but I'm still here. Right? Me and my babies is still here. Oh, wellllll...

Anyways, I know reporters hear shit....did you hear if they're selling any of their shit? Like a yard sale or some shit like that?

Offsite Link
by Keith Morrisonreply 6305/29/2018

r60, I love you.

by Keith Morrisonreply 6405/29/2018

Lol thanks r64

by Keith Morrisonreply 6505/29/2018

Inevitably said about a she-he married couple, however unfit and unattractive, who live anywhere from Anchorage to Key West:

"She was Barbie. He was Ken. And they were living the American dream in the heartland."

Offsite Link
by Keith Morrisonreply 6605/30/2018

"The couple had been viciously murdered."

(As if there's a [italic] nice [/italic] way to murder people.)

by Keith Morrisonreply 6705/30/2018

He/she walked miles to get help

by Keith Morrisonreply 6805/30/2018

the cat or dog solved the crime and is now the pet of the detective who solved the case.

by Keith Morrisonreply 6905/30/2018

Yes, well, you're all being so glib and so smug, but the kind of writing you're reading in this thread won me a Pulitzer Fucking Prize not so long ago. So you can all SUCK IT.

by Keith Morrisonreply 7005/30/2018

The dream . . . that turned into a nightmare.

by Keith Morrisonreply 7105/30/2018

“Then, with all leads exhausted, detectives recalled Jason McCleary. You remember McCleary, the shy, kindly neighbor who’d been first on the scene and so very eager to help? Could [italic]this [/italic]be the intruder they’d been searching for all along? Officers Johnson and Issvoran painstakingly went back over McCleary’s original statement....and noticed something. Something peculiar.”

by Keith Morrisonreply 7206/14/2018

She was finally leaving him this time.

The bitch was dickmatized by sociopathic hetero cock. Haha.

by Keith Morrisonreply 7306/14/2018

He dumped her (body) like she was a bag of trash.

by Keith Morrisonreply 7408/15/2018

We know he's innocent and we'll keep fighting for an appeal.

by Keith Morrisonreply 7506/25/2019

To a single mother working two jobs to support her three young kids, he seemed like the answer to all of her prayers.

by Keith Morrisonreply 7606/25/2019

An idyllic nature preserve in a quiet, picturesque town was about to be home to a grisly discovery...........

by Keith Morrisonreply 7706/25/2019

When investigators reached the bedroom, the bullet holes and blood splatter all over the walls, floor and ceiling told them that something was seriously wrong....

by Keith Morrisonreply 7806/25/2019

I love all these posts. Keith Morrison is great but he sure has gone to the Boris Karloff/Vincent Price school of storytelling!

by Keith Morrisonreply 7906/25/2019

R76 good one.

"Everybody knew everybody" (when describing a small town where the crime occured).

by Keith Morrisonreply 8006/25/2019

She had taken a part time job at the pharmacy to save up for her first apartment....

by Keith Morrisonreply 8106/25/2019

Bill Hader’s Keith Morrison is the best... “it was the DNA. That pesky, DNA.”

by Keith Morrisonreply 8206/25/2019

“Book ‘em, Dano.”

by Keith Morrisonreply 8306/25/2019

“Just the facts, ma’am.”

by Keith Morrisonreply 8406/25/2019

Best girlfriend / bar wingman: "Amber finally met 'The One.'" (Amber is a single mom of three children, murdered by a grifting, red-flag-waving drifter she met in a bar.)

by Keith Morrisonreply 8506/25/2019

Even though he was caught on camera running from the scene with a bloody knife and her head in his hands- It took 27 yrs and a new pair of eyes .....

by Keith Morrisonreply 8606/28/2019

"He was a gifted athlete in high school and all the girls loved him. He ended up marrying the one that captured his heart"

The high school sweetheart offs him years later when the marriage hits the rocks.

by Keith Morrisonreply 8706/28/2019

The murderer and the woman (girlfriend) who had been his alibi for 20 years are now broken up. Police pay a visit to the ex-girlfriend and now she says he was not with her the night of the murder. He came to her house early the next morning, blood all over his shirt. He immediately burned his clothes and began washing his truck.

by Keith Morrisonreply 8806/28/2019

“It was.... Or [italic]was[/italic] it?”

by Keith Morrisonreply 8906/29/2019

Across the heartland. Storm in the heartland. I hate that term they use on ABC

by Keith Morrisonreply 9006/29/2019

Someone described as a "voracious reader" or voracious consumer of some form or entertainment or media.

by Keith Morrisonreply 9106/29/2019

His larger than life personality.



by Keith Morrisonreply 9206/29/2019

"He told Tammy he was just going over to his ex wife's house to collect some old moving boxes....."

by Keith Morrisonreply 9306/29/2019

Who would've wanted to harm this old couple?

by Keith Morrisonreply 9404/25/2020

He fucked dogs.

by Keith Morrisonreply 9504/25/2020

If female, the victim was "vivacious" or "full of life."

If male, he was "larger than life."

by Keith Morrisonreply 9604/26/2020

A new witness "cracked the case wide open."

by Keith Morrisonreply 9704/27/2020

The picture perfect marriage wasn't what it seemed.

by Keith Morrisonreply 9804/27/2020

Every homely, overweight frau was a "beautiful young mother."

by Keith Morrisonreply 99Last Saturday at 3:16 PM

Every oft married and widowed suspect is a seductress few men could resist and then when you see the actual woman it's some perfectly ordinary dumpy frau.

by Keith Morrisonreply 100Last Saturday at 3:24 PM

"I never really husband!"

by Keith Morrisonreply 101Last Saturday at 3:29 PM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Don't you just LOVE clicking on these things on every single site you visit? I know we do! You can thank the EU parliament for making everyone in the world click on these pointless things while changing absolutely nothing. If you are interested you can take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT and we'll set a dreaded cookie to make it go away. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!