Hi from the UK

Welcome to the madhouse, Keith! You're in for a quite a ride.

Keith, tell us: in your own words, what does Datalounge mean to you? What are your hopes and dreams here?

The DL Welcome Wagonettes give a raucous oh fuck not another Brit howdy to Keith.

I hope you like Smith and Jones, if not, go away.

who is she? who was she? who does she hope to be?

Is this another BILL TAYLOR?

Only if he types in CAPS R6.

And Keith, about the pic exchange. DL is writhing, seething blackest Hell, not Facebook.

Hi what country in the UK you from? I'm from England.

Keith dear, the First Rule of Datalounge is don't converse with: Erna (aka Mrs Patrick Campbell) or the 'Programme Major Book Resale Troll' aka 'PMBT' aka 'John.'

The Second Rule of Datalounge is that we are all, at some time or another, a 'fat whore'.

The Third Rule of Datalounge is that Manvox is a superior board, with a superior calibre of men and conversation.

The Fourth and Most Important Rule. Grammar and spelling are paramount. However, you will be drawn and quartered for using the Oxford comma.

[quote] so not things have some on,

God, me too, Keith!

Keith, take a look at the buttons in the bottom right of the post...these will be your new friends. The first, WW, is for Wit and Wisdom, click to appreciate the posted remark. The next two are Facebook and Twitter. The fourth is Flames and Freaks. and used to signal bad posts. The last is most important as it blocks the poster from your feed. On the main page, that last button will also delete threads from your main feed. Very helpful, especially if you care nothing about politics and soap operas. Enjoy!

[quote]Keith, take a look at the buttons in the bottom right of the post...these will be your new friends. The first, WW, is for Wit and Wisdom, click to appreciate the posted remark. The next two are Facebook and Twitter. The fourth is Flames and Freaks. and used to signal bad posts. The last is most important as it blocks the poster from your feed. On the main page, that last button will also delete threads from your main feed. Very helpful, especially if you care nothing about politics and soap operas. Enjoy!

In my day - you had to work this shit out for yourself.

I think it was better than the "let me show you around" crowd of today.

Anyway, Keith is a troll and AMERICAN.

[quote]take a look at the buttons in the bottom right of the post

Icons, not buttons.

[quote] the UK

+

[quote]Keith

=

suburban LOWER middle class.

He is not, he's like me, he lives in a semi-detached

Does the UK have moose?

I'm already in love with you, Keith and don't want to share you with anyone else.

R12 I'm a newbie also.

How do I know if anyone is pressing the WW or FF buttons on my contributions?

[quote]How do I know if anyone is pressing the WW or FF buttons on my contributions?

You will get a pop up message if someone clicks on WW. I don't think you get anything for FF but if there are enough of them your post will be crossed and the thread may eventually disappear.

[quote] How do I know if anyone is pressing the WW or FF buttons on my contributions?

Your sneeze reflex kicks in. Two sneezes = WW; Three sneezes = FF.

Is it possible or bad etiquette to WW my own posts?

[quote]Your sneeze reflex kicks in. Two sneezes = WW; Three sneezes = FF.

As you can see, Keith - they're VERY funny on here.

[quote]Is it possible or bad etiquette to WW my own posts?

Why don't you try it and see?

Christ!

Thank you R24, I just tried it. But I didn't get a pop up message as R20 suggested.

Oh, well.

To have to get the pop-up message you first have to get a little message that will say something like "click to get notifications", then you can get the W&W messages of love. I think you have to post a while, first.

Is it lower middle class to say "the UK"?

Saw that as .. BLM - Bear Lives Matter

r25 you can ww your own posts and will see the pop up but you can't be on a phone or tablet. It only works on a laptop with notifications enabled.

Sandals with socks? Oh, Keith. I hope you rock this look with the right sandals and the best socks, the way they do in the Pacific Northwest. But if you do the way to Germans do, you're in big trouble.

Some of the posters here had parents who never picked them up, while others had parents who never put them down. Nearly everyone here only know "unconditional love" as a concept discussed in self-help and good parenting books. It makes for a thrilling ride!

Welcome and remember... helmets must be worn at all times while at Data Lounge.

I would rather see socks with sandals than a bunch of ugly toes. I am sick of having ugly toes foisted on me.

People made fun of socks with sandals in 70s or 80s but dressing well has completely died since then, so socks with sandals is not the worst thing.

[quote] I am sick of having ugly toes foisted on me.

It's the foisting that's troubling. Yes.

Keith or "Keef?"

Keef is gone. He didn't even send a pic back after I sent 4 up-close hole shots. Rude!

Do you drink lots of tea? Do you eat lots of fish and crisps? Please describe your anal hygiene in vivid detail

Do you like mushy peas?

Have you been to Downton Abbey?

She's no better than she should be.

Chance would be fine thing.

As common as muck.

I'll tell you this and I'll tell you no more. Okay that's all I ever learned from 30 years of Coronation Street so I'm hoping Keith can expand my knowledge of all things British.

Pip pip, Guv'ner!

You missed “well I’ll go to the foot of my stairs!” R39.

How are your teeth, Keith?

*How are your teef, Keef?

Hi there, Keith!

OP, are you lovely, or should i say, loverly?

In England, people called Keith look like THIS >>

[quote] up, so not things have some on,

Wtf?

It's always good to get first hand accounts regarding Brexit shit. Welcome to the board. Beware of trolls. We have some of the trolliest.

Another stupid troll with a fake name looking for attention.

Fuck off and die, attention whores.

Nobody but the troglodytes believe you are anything but another fat, fan-fiction spewing loser.

Fuck. Off.

And right on cue^^^^^^

Hi. My name is Angus and I'm new to Datalounge from Scotland. I eat haggis, conduct tours of Loch Ness and say "Hoot, mon!" quite a bit, when I'm not reciting quotes from "The Prime of Miss Jean Brody." I have the bursitis from the damp, since we still don't have the central heating and only get a gallon of hot water a day from the funny little tank above the bathtub. I'm sometimes very dour and gloomy. At other times I drink the whisky and am best mates with everyone. When I get tired I say, "Away wi' ye. ......Goon, away wi' ye, I said!" When I am satisfied, I say "Bob's your uncle," even if you don't have an uncle named Bob.

R52 Of course you're not Russian, you speak that Scottish language too well to be!

Welcome!

Get out. Get out while you still can.

Would that be Keith, Keif, or Keifth?

I guess Keef has nufink to say

I used to be keen on an English actor named Keith.

He got so much attention from that original post though... I guess DL was hungry for more.

Hello U.K spent the week in Paris and then took the Tube to London December 1999 for the blazer show over the Thames. Started at The Old Rose Pub where we were adopted by a big group from Birmingham England. We went into the Streets @ 11:00. Ran into Tony Blaires entourage then got setup for the show. A sequined white gloved tuxedo group joined with bottles of champagne and then Brazilian group circled us doing the Congo line smoking big fat joints sharing. Huge fun.

R60 continuing.meant to say Lazer show 1999 December 31. No Y2K in London. I spent my 30th Birthday night starting at The lamb and the Flagg then Mingles reggae bar then ended up at the Fridge in Brixton where we danced til dawn. The extacy was enormous there. Ended up the next day Sunday in Camden Town drinking at a pub with a Saudi Oil dude and his runway model girlfriend. I love London my past.

OP, Do you think the Royals are deadbeats, leeches, or layabouts?

The Royals bring in tourist dollars.

They are no more deadbeat, leeches, or layabouts than the Kardashians and the 52.2 million of our population who are on welfare.

Surprising that Keith didn't just get a 1/10 from R1, then twenty posts max before sinking like a stone. Plainly though DL has something of an appetite for mid-period Mike Leigh characters.

Keith is busy with his tea and strumpets.

Crying as I type...goodnight, sweet prince. We'll never forget you.

I had finally stopped sobbing over Goddess Natalie Cole's death, when God called you home.

RIP Keith

No check-in from Wales?

R33, Keef is foist on his own petard.

I don't mind what homosexuals do in private, that's their business. But why do they feel the need to foist their so-called lifestyles down our throats all the time? Because that's what they do, every time you turn on the TV there they are, foisting themselves at us.

And if we're lucky, they're also hoisting themselves on us.

Keith, are you related to the Brit who always complains about independent.co.uk.

So...welcome?

Yes. Welcome.

Please keep in mind that roughly half the posters here are certifiably, barking at the moon crazy.

The other half are profoundly neurotic shutins.

Enjoy!

Is this British Royal Family's favourite member?

Do you wipe from back to front or front to back?

Also, Keith, keep in mind that we don’t give a fuck who you are, and really wish you would just shut the fuck up.

If you die, you are expected to leave your "stuff" including your cute little dog with DL. Shipping costs are your responsibility.

Photos of you in earrings and caftans required. Clutched pearls optional.

Name your favourite U.S. President.

Woodrow Wilson is our favourite U.S. President.

(he was a bit late to the party but we DO thank him)

Keef, do you strain your Tesco spaghetti?

Keef, do you like doing sport? Do you spoon canned baked beans on your toast while doing maths in your head?

Mariah or Whitney?

Nephew or niece?

Have you slept with Ben Barnes or know anyone who has? Is he gay? What's the General opinion about that over There? Is he thought of as a "confirmed bachelor "?

Cor blimey, Mary Poppins! The British royal family does so much more than just bring in money.

Separating the head of state from the head of government is infinitely better than the failed combination of roles we have in the U.S. At no time has the entire scope of that failure been more evident than it is now. And we Yanks are suffering badly because of it.

Time to amend the Constitution and split those two roles.

R84 Except you can do that with a prime minister and a president, like in Germany, France, Italy etc. Definitely cheaper than introducing a whole class of unelected welfare schmoozers.

That is correct, R85. No 'except' is necessary in your reply as I did not advocate for an American monarchy.

Splitting the roles and filling them with elected officials is one approach. Creating an American monarchy out of thin air is unlikely to succeed. The institution relies on history and continuity, none of which can be created by legislative act.

[quote]I'm sometimes very dour and gloomy.

This is such fake news, they’re always dour.

Dour is something of a pass time there. But John Nettles sizzled in his day and Mrs. Slocombe's pussy never fails to amuse. They get it right on occasion.