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Eggnog Causes Me Terrible Flatulence and I Can’t Bottom When I Drink It

But I love it sooo much. I only drink it for a month or two out of the year. Should I choose eggnog over sex with my boyfriend?

by Anonymousreply 8312/30/2017

Have you tried a Dutch Oven?

by Anonymousreply 112/06/2017

Eggnog is gross. Like drinking sludge.

by Anonymousreply 212/06/2017

Lactose intolerance? Try this...

by Anonymousreply 312/06/2017

Try SoDelicious eggnog. I used to love real eggnog but I think SoDelicious is waaay better and it’s coconut milk instead of cows milk. You’d never know though, it doesn’t taste like coconut at all and is super rich and thick. Can find it in many(most?) grocery stores these days.

by Anonymousreply 412/06/2017

I tried that stuff. I even have a digestive enzyme supplement that includes lactase, and still I get the toots out my caboose.

by Anonymousreply 512/06/2017

So delish this time of year. I'd give up taking it up the shit shute for some nice thick cream. Besides, I'm sure your top is tired of you.

by Anonymousreply 612/06/2017

[quote]and is super rich and thick

Gross! That's the worst part of eggnog.

by Anonymousreply 712/06/2017

Rick and thick and creamy and sugary. And yellow. Yummy yummy yum.

by Anonymousreply 812/06/2017

I drank me an entire carton a few days ago. Jealous, bitches?

by Anonymousreply 912/06/2017

Very, R9.

by Anonymousreply 1012/06/2017

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'm taking the whole family to Maui!

by Anonymousreply 1112/06/2017

Eggnog is some nasty shit.

by Anonymousreply 1212/06/2017

OP, if you douche with warm eggnog it will serve as a homeopathic balance for the rest of your dietary tract and you won't fart as much.

And if you make sure to have rum or brandy or whisky or whiskey in it, you'll also clean out some of those parasites you've been harboring. Those poor things are the canaries in the colon mine when your noxiousness is rumbling through. Put them out of their misery.

by Anonymousreply 1312/06/2017

You sound like a whore. Egg nog!???

by Anonymousreply 1412/06/2017

Yes, nothing signals "whore" like egg nog.

Poor thing, r14.

by Anonymousreply 1512/06/2017

I think they make non-dairy egg nog from almond milk, too.

by Anonymousreply 1612/06/2017

[quote] Yes, nothing signals "whore" like egg nog.

Except dressing like one.

by Anonymousreply 1712/06/2017

Trader Joe's has an Egg Nog Liquor. It's not creamy but it tastes just like real egg nog. Maybe that will spare your spouse.

by Anonymousreply 1812/06/2017

Repulsive. What cunt would drink almond-milk egg nog?

by Anonymousreply 1912/06/2017

Someone who doesn't want to have a gunt.

by Anonymousreply 2012/06/2017

That's what tape worms are for, r20.

by Anonymousreply 2112/06/2017

I agree with R3, you're probably lactose intolerant and taking a Lactaid supplement before drinking the eggnog will probably prevent your problems. The CVS generic is cheaper and just as effective.

by Anonymousreply 2212/06/2017

I don’t like anything “generic.”

by Anonymousreply 2312/06/2017

Except dick, right, r23?

by Anonymousreply 2412/06/2017

[quote] I don’t like anything “generic.”

Other than the white guys in Jockey shorts you jerk off to.

by Anonymousreply 2512/06/2017

[quote] Yes, nothing signals "whore" like egg nog.

[quote] Except dressing like one.

How do you dress like an egg nog?

by Anonymousreply 2612/06/2017

Then buy the brand name, r23, Lactaid. It totally works for lactose intolerance, if that is your problem.

I've had a few unsatisfactory experiences with generics but most of the time they are just as good. I always give them a try and if they don't work as well, which is rare, then I do stick with the brand name.

by Anonymousreply 2712/06/2017

I've seen your boyfriend. Choose the eggnog.

by Anonymousreply 2812/06/2017

R26 In beige sprinkled with nutmeg.

by Anonymousreply 2912/06/2017

You can't bottom when you drink eggnog? Who could?

Drinking eggnog while bottoming isn't going to work for you or your top, OP. Obviously.

by Anonymousreply 3012/06/2017

OP you are a gross pig. boyfriend my ass you ibs slutface.

by Anonymousreply 3112/06/2017

r31, on his fifth glass.

by Anonymousreply 3212/06/2017

When bottoming, one drinks mulled whine.

by Anonymousreply 3312/06/2017

The proper way to imbibe egg nog is chugging right from the carton.

by Anonymousreply 3412/06/2017

One can drink anything one wants, R33, but if one does it while one is bottoming, it's going to be messy.

And whatever you do, nothing carbonated. That's just going to cause problems.

by Anonymousreply 3512/06/2017

R31 here. Nog me.

by Anonymousreply 3612/06/2017

Real egg nog with raw egg yolks and bourbon is great.

by Anonymousreply 3712/06/2017

r3 got it right

by Anonymousreply 3812/06/2017

R3 was close but Lactaid makes actual eggnog. It should be even better than the pills for a lactose-intolerant individual.

by Anonymousreply 3912/06/2017

Do you really have to drink eggnog within a week of opening it?

by Anonymousreply 4012/06/2017

OP, if you don't offer up your ass to your top, he will get hole from someone else.

by Anonymousreply 4112/06/2017

So much for decking the halls!

by Anonymousreply 4212/06/2017

Shitting the halls, more like.

by Anonymousreply 4312/06/2017

You drink eggnog two months out of the year, OP? I can barely handle half a cup on Christmas Eve.

by Anonymousreply 4412/06/2017

Egg nog haters gotta hate. What do YOU wash down your PrEP with, r44? Vodka?

by Anonymousreply 4512/06/2017

"I never waste primo vodka washing down my PrEP. That's why God made gin, honey."

by Anonymousreply 4612/06/2017

Drink more eggnog and practice. Soon you'll be tooting "Jingle Bells" out your rear and you'll be the hit of the party.

by Anonymousreply 4712/06/2017

Vodka is for whores. A gin egg nog spritzer--now that's wishing you a Merry Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 4812/06/2017

Real egg nog makes my poop soft, fluffy, and yellow.

by Anonymousreply 4912/06/2017

We make the very best Eggnog.

by Anonymousreply 5012/06/2017

JohnBoy could never properly bottom at Xmas. He had to wait until Valentine's.

by Anonymousreply 5112/06/2017

R40 You can freeze it.

by Anonymousreply 5212/06/2017

Frozen egg nog. That's living.

by Anonymousreply 5312/06/2017

Have an eggnog, Mr. Goldstone!

by Anonymousreply 5412/06/2017

Use your other fun hole, Miss OP!

by Anonymousreply 5512/06/2017

Give up bottoming for the holidays. Drink away. By the way, egg nog is fattening and full of cholesterol.

by Anonymousreply 5612/06/2017

News Flash, from cunt r56.

by Anonymousreply 5712/06/2017

Thoroughly lace your eggnog with good bourbon (or Southern Comfort if you're sharing with your neighbors in the trailer park).

by Anonymousreply 5812/06/2017

Shorter R13:

Shove it up your ass.

by Anonymousreply 5912/06/2017

I'm making these egg nog cupcakes for a party this weekend.

by Anonymousreply 6012/06/2017

OP you sound like a whiny little lactose intolerant bitch. Drink a non-dairy egg nog or nothing at all. We're not meant to drink milk after we are weaned. The non dairy ones are really good. The thing about egg nog that makes it delicious is the spices/flavoring in it... All you anti vegan fucks can go fuck yourselves too..

by Anonymousreply 6112/06/2017

[QUOTE]OP you sound like a whiny little lactose intolerant bitch.

That’s exactly what I am.

by Anonymousreply 6212/07/2017

Easy solution here is to switch roles with your boyfriend during the egg nog months.

by Anonymousreply 6312/07/2017

Or enjoy your eggnog, continue to bottom, and film the ensuing hilarity for the amusement of your fellow Dataloungers.

by Anonymousreply 6412/07/2017

OP, if life hands you eggnog - make fart porn.

by Anonymousreply 6512/07/2017

Try a hi powered supplement lke MRM IC, there is enough probiotic and enzyme in there to flatten out the biggest gas bubbles. Take it regularly, and well in advance of sex. Not the night of!

by Anonymousreply 6612/07/2017

I hate bottoms who fart when I'm fucking them. Loose hole hos

by Anonymousreply 6712/07/2017

So many "loose holes"? Or just one angry little needle dick.

by Anonymousreply 6812/07/2017

[quote]Should I choose eggnog over sex with my boyfriend?

Please include said boyfriend in this decision.

by Anonymousreply 6912/07/2017

[quote] So many "loose holes"? Or just one angry little needle dick.

A bit of both. Haven't met a hole lately that wasn't on the loose side. But then admittedly I'm not very girthy.

I should add that I do like a somewhat loose fit. .

by Anonymousreply 7012/07/2017

70 posts filled with people bitching about one another and egg nog.

Happy Holidays, Datalounge Style.

by Anonymousreply 7112/08/2017

I can't believe what DL has become .............

by Anonymousreply 7212/08/2017

Egg Nog is gross.

Though I am also lactose intolerant, so can't handle it anyway.

by Anonymousreply 7312/08/2017

Take a Lactaid and a Beano and you'll be fine.

by Anonymousreply 7412/08/2017

As far as BO goes, only asians don't smell. Indians whites Latinos blacks all smell very strong.

by Anonymousreply 7512/08/2017

Sorry wrong thread.

by Anonymousreply 7612/08/2017

Those look delicious, R60.

by Anonymousreply 7712/08/2017

That fucking Lactaid eggnog is so good. I just downed a carton of it like it was a bottle of spring water.

by Anonymousreply 7812/12/2017

[quote] I Can’t Bottom When I Drink It

Well who can? You'd spill it all over the sheets!

by Anonymousreply 7912/12/2017

Coconut milk egg nog. creamy, rich, delicious and just as fattening as regular dairy, but the fat is easily digested. you won't taste the difference.

by Anonymousreply 8012/30/2017

Dear Lord in Heaven!

by Anonymousreply 8112/30/2017

[quote]Or enjoy your eggnog, continue to bottom, and film the ensuing hilarity for the amusement of your fellow Dataloungers.

America's Shittiest Home Videos

by Anonymousreply 8212/30/2017

This is the best time of year because : EGGNOG ON CEREAL EVERY MORNING FOR SIX WEEKS!

by Anonymousreply 8312/30/2017
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