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Eggnog Causes Me Terrible Flatulence and I Can’t Bottom When I Drink It

But I love it sooo much. I only drink it for a month or two out of the year. Should I choose eggnog over sex with my boyfriend?

by Anonymousreply 77Last Friday at 5:18 AM

Have you tried a Dutch Oven?

by Anonymousreply 1Last Wednesday at 5:06 PM

Eggnog is gross. Like drinking sludge.

by Anonymousreply 2Last Wednesday at 5:07 PM

Lactose intolerance? Try this...

by Anonymousreply 3Last Wednesday at 5:12 PM

Try SoDelicious eggnog. I used to love real eggnog but I think SoDelicious is waaay better and it’s coconut milk instead of cows milk. You’d never know though, it doesn’t taste like coconut at all and is super rich and thick. Can find it in many(most?) grocery stores these days.

by Anonymousreply 4Last Wednesday at 5:14 PM

I tried that stuff. I even have a digestive enzyme supplement that includes lactase, and still I get the toots out my caboose.

by Anonymousreply 5Last Wednesday at 5:15 PM

So delish this time of year. I'd give up taking it up the shit shute for some nice thick cream. Besides, I'm sure your top is tired of you.

by Anonymousreply 6Last Wednesday at 5:22 PM

[quote]and is super rich and thick

Gross! That's the worst part of eggnog.

by Anonymousreply 7Last Wednesday at 5:23 PM

Rick and thick and creamy and sugary. And yellow. Yummy yummy yum.

by Anonymousreply 8Last Wednesday at 5:26 PM

I drank me an entire carton a few days ago. Jealous, bitches?

by Anonymousreply 9Last Wednesday at 5:27 PM

Very, R9.

by Anonymousreply 10Last Wednesday at 5:27 PM

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'm taking the whole family to Maui!

by Anonymousreply 11Last Wednesday at 5:27 PM

Eggnog is some nasty shit.

by Anonymousreply 12Last Wednesday at 5:28 PM

OP, if you douche with warm eggnog it will serve as a homeopathic balance for the rest of your dietary tract and you won't fart as much.

And if you make sure to have rum or brandy or whisky or whiskey in it, you'll also clean out some of those parasites you've been harboring. Those poor things are the canaries in the colon mine when your noxiousness is rumbling through. Put them out of their misery.

by Anonymousreply 13Last Wednesday at 5:38 PM

You sound like a whore. Egg nog!???

by Anonymousreply 14Last Wednesday at 5:41 PM

Yes, nothing signals "whore" like egg nog.

Poor thing, r14.

by Anonymousreply 15Last Wednesday at 5:43 PM

I think they make non-dairy egg nog from almond milk, too.

by Anonymousreply 16Last Wednesday at 5:46 PM

[quote] Yes, nothing signals "whore" like egg nog.

Except dressing like one.

by Anonymousreply 17Last Wednesday at 5:47 PM

Trader Joe's has an Egg Nog Liquor. It's not creamy but it tastes just like real egg nog. Maybe that will spare your spouse.

by Anonymousreply 18Last Wednesday at 5:48 PM

Repulsive. What cunt would drink almond-milk egg nog?

by Anonymousreply 19Last Wednesday at 5:48 PM

Someone who doesn't want to have a gunt.

by Anonymousreply 20Last Wednesday at 5:49 PM

That's what tape worms are for, r20.

by Anonymousreply 21Last Wednesday at 5:51 PM

I agree with R3, you're probably lactose intolerant and taking a Lactaid supplement before drinking the eggnog will probably prevent your problems. The CVS generic is cheaper and just as effective.

by Anonymousreply 22Last Wednesday at 5:51 PM

I don’t like anything “generic.”

by Anonymousreply 23Last Wednesday at 5:54 PM

Except dick, right, r23?

by Anonymousreply 24Last Wednesday at 5:55 PM

[quote] I don’t like anything “generic.”

Other than the white guys in Jockey shorts you jerk off to.

by Anonymousreply 25Last Wednesday at 5:58 PM

[quote] Yes, nothing signals "whore" like egg nog.

[quote] Except dressing like one.

How do you dress like an egg nog?

by Anonymousreply 26Last Wednesday at 6:01 PM

Then buy the brand name, r23, Lactaid. It totally works for lactose intolerance, if that is your problem.

I've had a few unsatisfactory experiences with generics but most of the time they are just as good. I always give them a try and if they don't work as well, which is rare, then I do stick with the brand name.

by Anonymousreply 27Last Wednesday at 6:02 PM

I've seen your boyfriend. Choose the eggnog.

by Anonymousreply 28Last Wednesday at 6:02 PM

R26 In beige sprinkled with nutmeg.

by Anonymousreply 29Last Wednesday at 6:02 PM

You can't bottom when you drink eggnog? Who could?

Drinking eggnog while bottoming isn't going to work for you or your top, OP. Obviously.

by Anonymousreply 30Last Wednesday at 6:03 PM

OP you are a gross pig. boyfriend my ass you ibs slutface.

by Anonymousreply 31Last Wednesday at 6:04 PM

r31, on his fifth glass.

by Anonymousreply 32Last Wednesday at 6:06 PM

When bottoming, one drinks mulled whine.

by Anonymousreply 33Last Wednesday at 6:06 PM

The proper way to imbibe egg nog is chugging right from the carton.

by Anonymousreply 34Last Wednesday at 6:07 PM

One can drink anything one wants, R33, but if one does it while one is bottoming, it's going to be messy.

And whatever you do, nothing carbonated. That's just going to cause problems.

by Anonymousreply 35Last Wednesday at 6:07 PM

R31 here. Nog me.

by Anonymousreply 36Last Wednesday at 6:08 PM

Real egg nog with raw egg yolks and bourbon is great.

by Anonymousreply 37Last Wednesday at 6:19 PM

r3 got it right

by Anonymousreply 38Last Wednesday at 6:34 PM

R3 was close but Lactaid makes actual eggnog. It should be even better than the pills for a lactose-intolerant individual.

by Anonymousreply 39Last Wednesday at 6:48 PM

Do you really have to drink eggnog within a week of opening it?

by Anonymousreply 40Last Wednesday at 6:53 PM

OP, if you don't offer up your ass to your top, he will get hole from someone else.

by Anonymousreply 41Last Wednesday at 6:53 PM

So much for decking the halls!

by Anonymousreply 42Last Wednesday at 7:03 PM

Shitting the halls, more like.

by Anonymousreply 43Last Wednesday at 7:05 PM

You drink eggnog two months out of the year, OP? I can barely handle half a cup on Christmas Eve.

by Anonymousreply 44Last Wednesday at 7:14 PM

Egg nog haters gotta hate. What do YOU wash down your PrEP with, r44? Vodka?

by Anonymousreply 45Last Wednesday at 7:20 PM

"I never waste primo vodka washing down my PrEP. That's why God made gin, honey."

by Anonymousreply 46Last Wednesday at 7:23 PM

Drink more eggnog and practice. Soon you'll be tooting "Jingle Bells" out your rear and you'll be the hit of the party.

by Anonymousreply 47Last Wednesday at 7:24 PM

Vodka is for whores. A gin egg nog spritzer--now that's wishing you a Merry Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 48Last Wednesday at 7:27 PM

Real egg nog makes my poop soft, fluffy, and yellow.

by Anonymousreply 49Last Wednesday at 7:33 PM

We make the very best Eggnog.

by Anonymousreply 50Last Wednesday at 7:41 PM

JohnBoy could never properly bottom at Xmas. He had to wait until Valentine's.

by Anonymousreply 51Last Wednesday at 7:45 PM

R40 You can freeze it.

by Anonymousreply 52Last Wednesday at 7:48 PM

Frozen egg nog. That's living.

by Anonymousreply 53Last Wednesday at 7:50 PM

Have an eggnog, Mr. Goldstone!

by Anonymousreply 54Last Wednesday at 7:52 PM

Use your other fun hole, Miss OP!

by Anonymousreply 55Last Wednesday at 8:02 PM

Give up bottoming for the holidays. Drink away. By the way, egg nog is fattening and full of cholesterol.

by Anonymousreply 56Last Wednesday at 8:03 PM

News Flash, from cunt r56.

by Anonymousreply 57Last Wednesday at 8:08 PM

Thoroughly lace your eggnog with good bourbon (or Southern Comfort if you're sharing with your neighbors in the trailer park).

by Anonymousreply 58Last Wednesday at 8:10 PM

Shorter R13:

Shove it up your ass.

by Anonymousreply 59Last Wednesday at 8:42 PM

I'm making these egg nog cupcakes for a party this weekend.

by Anonymousreply 60Last Wednesday at 8:50 PM

OP you sound like a whiny little lactose intolerant bitch. Drink a non-dairy egg nog or nothing at all. We're not meant to drink milk after we are weaned. The non dairy ones are really good. The thing about egg nog that makes it delicious is the spices/flavoring in it... All you anti vegan fucks can go fuck yourselves too..

by Anonymousreply 61Last Wednesday at 8:56 PM

[QUOTE]OP you sound like a whiny little lactose intolerant bitch.

That’s exactly what I am.

by Anonymousreply 62Last Thursday at 12:44 AM

Easy solution here is to switch roles with your boyfriend during the egg nog months.

by Anonymousreply 63Last Thursday at 2:33 AM

Or enjoy your eggnog, continue to bottom, and film the ensuing hilarity for the amusement of your fellow Dataloungers.

by Anonymousreply 64Last Thursday at 2:45 AM

OP, if life hands you eggnog - make fart porn.

by Anonymousreply 65Last Thursday at 3:12 AM

Try a hi powered supplement lke MRM IC, there is enough probiotic and enzyme in there to flatten out the biggest gas bubbles. Take it regularly, and well in advance of sex. Not the night of!

by Anonymousreply 66Last Thursday at 3:17 AM

I hate bottoms who fart when I'm fucking them. Loose hole hos

by Anonymousreply 67Last Thursday at 3:52 AM

So many "loose holes"? Or just one angry little needle dick.

by Anonymousreply 68Last Thursday at 4:10 AM

[quote]Should I choose eggnog over sex with my boyfriend?

Please include said boyfriend in this decision.

by Anonymousreply 69Last Thursday at 4:11 AM

[quote] So many "loose holes"? Or just one angry little needle dick.

A bit of both. Haven't met a hole lately that wasn't on the loose side. But then admittedly I'm not very girthy.

I should add that I do like a somewhat loose fit. .

by Anonymousreply 70Last Thursday at 10:16 PM

70 posts filled with people bitching about one another and egg nog.

Happy Holidays, Datalounge Style.

by Anonymousreply 71Last Friday at 3:52 AM

I can't believe what DL has become .............

by Anonymousreply 72Last Friday at 3:55 AM

Egg Nog is gross.

Though I am also lactose intolerant, so can't handle it anyway.

by Anonymousreply 73Last Friday at 3:59 AM

Take a Lactaid and a Beano and you'll be fine.

by Anonymousreply 74Last Friday at 5:04 AM

As far as BO goes, only asians don't smell. Indians whites Latinos blacks all smell very strong.

by Anonymousreply 75Last Friday at 5:15 AM

Sorry wrong thread.

by Anonymousreply 76Last Friday at 5:16 AM

Those look delicious, R60.

by Anonymousreply 77Last Friday at 5:18 AM
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