Oh, For Crap’s Sake, Where is the Thanksgiving Otter?

In my brand new slow cooker.

Oh, R1, I hate you!

Despite the SMELL!

[quote]You’re much more down on otters, which you describe as relentless killing and eating machines, taking in the equivalent of about 88 Big Macs a day. Being an otter, you write, “is like being on speed,” and not in a good way.

[quote]They have this frantic requirement to get their calorie intake up, leaving little room inside their heads for anything other than the craving. They do seem to be mere circuit boards in the way other species aren’t.

I would not be surprised if the TG otter ate 88 Big Macs a day, plus a dozen raspberry-herring pies. He seems like the type.

Bump

I think he’s a no-show this year. He would make a beautiful coat, though. Do you think he has an understudy? Would Gregory do?

This might go here.

London Otters.

DataLounge is now interviewing for the position of Thanksgiving mascot. You must be young, outgoing, personable, and accommodating. No bears, or big cats, please. Salary is negotiable but generally one or two large bags of peanuts and 1 liter of Gin.

You must have a four year degree in hotel and restaurant management or similar. Zoo experience desired. Foreign language skills a plus. References are a must.

M/r

Busy! Bigly Busy this seaseoni, Fuckos!

Some tree hugger has me putting plastic cubes in cubes for her thesis. Look at the tits! Look at the piles and piles of student debt all over her forehead! I love it. More abalone? Give it to me slow-like, Baby. That's the way I likes it. Uh-huh-uh-huh.

Anyways, what does the Gaping Tunnel of Unfulfillment want? Bertha? This ain't Christmas, you know. Give thanks. Drop by a tribal casino. Chuck turkeys at a few CNAs. Put a few 'tards on the big bus for a change.

Marie! More fish, ya bitch!

Seaseoni? Better go easy on those Abalone sandwiches.

Good god why is OP's title post grayed out? Who could possibly be that offended by Ottie?

I adore him, and I have been waiting all years to hear those dulcet tones and crushed velvet words he utters. Needless to say I am most bereft that he is a no show.

There’s an anti-animal faction here, R13. They don’t like Monday Moos, too.

Here's my thread, yeast infections. Can't you do a cunting search?

That thread is used, Thanksgiving Otter.

We want a shiny new thread… and a pony. Perhaps a spanking. Oh, and jodhpurs.

I don’t give a fuck where you post, R16, here or the other thread, as long as I’m paid. A spanking? The last and only time you were spanked was when the only doctor in that god-forsaken hometown of yours who treated unplanned gash fillings messed up and mistakenly allowed you to live in his drunken stupor. Perhaps he was the father too, but really who knows? And speaking of bloody gashes, go ask your mother where to get pony. She knows. Probably explains your existence. As for “shiny” or new”, except for my knob, nothing’s been shiny or new on me since the George H. W. Bush administration, and that includes the third Mrs. Otter (aka Magotty Lips and not the cock-sucking lips, mind you). Jodhpurs? That’s the most god-damned fagotty thing I’ve read here today, which is saying a lot.

Any more requests?

Mr. Otter, you have not picked-up your raspberry-herring pie. I used extra raspberry liqueur this time. It’s kind of sloshey. Where are you.?

Hmm?