R506. Not sure what you're trying to say, or ask. Yes, this is a gay site. This thread is about Sam being gay and now in the closet and why. We absolutely do wish gay actors like Sam would come out and that Hollywood (producers, agents, PR, actors themselves) would stop enforcing the closet in general. We talk about the toxicity of the HW closet for actors and for all of us. That's probably the main difference between your view ("it's his private life, let him live it") and ours. Seeing it as only personal versus seeing it as part of a systemic/societal expression of homophobia. Also, they really insult our intelligence with the bearding PR, so we get to snark about that. If he were just very, very private, we wouldn't have 23 threads for this guy.
We are not, however, an Outlander fan site. There are a few regulars on this thread who are fans, and regulars who hate it, and probably some who hate-love it, haha. Obviously the show comes up because it's Sam's main acting gig, and the production and its fans are a big part of his context for both his next acting moves and also his closeting. But we're not really here to talk about Outlander. We're here to talk about gay Sam, and the HW closet.
You're right about one thing, that's probably lost on many here since they wouldn't care to follow the fans on tumblr (since, again, this isn't an OL site). A lot of the SamCait shippers are young women. Maybe they came up as Twilight fans, who knows. The show fans in general are younger than the older group of women who adore Gabaldon. The younger women tend to give the side-eye to DG because of the racism and homophobia and sexual violence that shows up over and over in the books. So these girls aren't the "menopausal middle-aged fraus" that everyone assumes is the fan base. Which actually might be a consideration for Sam if he ever thought about coming out. The whole fan base is overwhelmingly women, of course, because, hello, it's a het romance no matter what Gabaldon says. Not dissing romance by saying that - pop culture has value imo - scifi, YAYA, comic books, whatever - there's good and bad writing and art within all of it. The women who love romance stories and romcoms are no less ridiculous or discerning than all the men who love scifi and comics.
Also, R506, since you obliquely raise the sexism issue. IMO the frau word gets overused on DL and is probs more sexist than snark at this point, but frankly here it's mainly a response to the santimonious all-caps insistence from some of our straight lady trolls that SAM CAN'T POSSIBLY BE GAY. Okay, mom (or is that Paul Camuso?), tell us that again. And again. LOL.