Ever been with a TRUE narcissist?

Yes. Whatever you went through, be glad it's behind you.

Drop them like a bad habit.

Yes. And you're absolutely right: It's fun at first, and then the shit starts to fly.

Awful. Just awful.

They are SO good at making you believe that they care. They are charming and usually REALLY good in bed. And then.............everything changes. You are not good enough, you have to change this, they belittle you in small ways. Death by a thousand cuts.

I dumped one last night. Was great fun to tell him to go work on himself and that he's not nearly as special as he thinks he is.

Trying to get over one. Its tough but I wouldnt go back

The dirty little secret of life is that narcissists and sociopaths come out the winners. From birth, we are all told to be honest and behave, threatened by religion with hell if we step out of line, which makes us ripe for the picking by the truly amoral. In fact, the worst among us become the rich, the powerful, and the most admired.

Branding someone as "a narcissist" is fairly meaningless. The whole modern condition is defined by narcissism (e.g., the whole concept of "the selfie" and the social media that spawned it) and we all have have narcissistic traits to some degree. Our media and "celebrity culture" encourage narcissism.

Just because you don't like someone or have had a dispute or falling out with them doesn't mean you need to pathologize them. It takes 2 to tango and consider whether the same could be said about yourself.

Guess what r7 is?

Pop was a Trump-like narcissist with sadistic and antisocial traits. The entire family became his evil, co-dependent flying monkeys...with one exception. I was the normie. The great thing is that I outlived them all, and that's pretty satisfying.

I just don't see either Barbara Bush or Meghan Markle as narcissists or as sociopaths, r7. I think you don't know what those terms really mean.

The fascinating thing about narcissists is the irrational self-confidence. Sure, it’s not TRUE confidence and it’s all part of the pathology, but still fascinating.

I am fairly accomplished, at least on paper. And I struggle with low self-confidence. But I have family members who have spent their whole lives sitting around the house stuffing their faces, and they think they are the hottest shit on the planet. Go figure..

Yes. I'm just out of a 5 year relationship with one. It was very, very tough going. Them being self absorbed, attention seeking, lying, stealing, lack of empathy, interest, belittling, acting the victim, manipulation, temper and verbal abuse got to me eventually.

I'm a very chilled out person, but after a while it just became too much and the liabilities outweighed the benefits.

It became so hard towards the end knowing what was fact and what was fiction. I just didn't trust him.

If any of you are in a relationship with one, or get into one. It can be rewarding, but you have to be as tough as old nails. You also have to think, is this for me? There are a lot of easier relationships out there and whilst you're wasting time with the wrong one, you could be spending it with the right one.

Good luck!

Markle is a narcissist, Bush is a sociopath, Trump is both. R7 is someone who has had to deal with very powerful people from a very young age.

It's not the most gracious thing to fail in a relationship, take no responsibility for your part in it, and blame the other party for being defective. "Narcissist" is a nice catch-all. Clinical sounding but vague enough that it can be flung at anyone.

OP = JJ Knight

[quote] Them being self absorbed, attention seeking, lying, stealing, lack of empathy, interest, belittling, acting the victim, manipulation, temper and verbal abuse got to me eventually.

In fairness, you almost certainly paid them back with your horrific attention to grammar.

Oh, [italic]dear.[/italic]

OP - I am not sure what you mean by "TRUE narcissist", as opposed to what, a fake narcissist? No one pretends to be a narcissist; one is either a narcissist or they are not one. It's a serious personality disorder with no cure, and although everyone can be a bit insensitive occasionally, or self-absorbed and selfish at times, you either have this disorder or you don't have it.

But yes, I have been with a TRUE narcissist. My former partner. He was Trump minus the wealth. Same for my toxic father who I estranged from 12 years before he died. My mistake and HUGE regret for not having estranged much sooner. He was a monster.

^ *whom*

NPD is such a sad disorder for anyone to have.

R20 It's worse for their victims though. A lot worse.

R21 Hmmm I dunno. As a victim, I was still able to walk away. For an NPD sufferer, there is no escape from that life. So the jury's out for me on that one, although I do see yoir point.

Narcissism tears apart families that would otherwise be close, intact families.

I have been on the receiving end of that kind of behavior more than once, and it's made me apprehensive about getting involved with people at all. I want to be in a relationship, but not with someone who won't treat me with respect.

Great point R24

I think that the more abused/traumatized you were the less sorry you feel for them. This is especially true for those who were in longer-term relationships lasting a few years and/or raised by them or with them such as a sibling. Also, those who work for these people, as they are not uncommon in the workplace. And a short-term relationship or an ugly encounter that you get over and that didn't cause the trauma or PTSD that multiple relationships over the years causes. Plus, some people can't just walk away from them right away, as they have children or can't find another suitable job, and so on. But make no mistake, the more experiences and stories you have the less sorry you feel for them.

R5 - I know your type - "Was great fun to tell him to go work on himself" Bossy, judgmental, and generally annoying. Too bad that there are a lot of you.

Yes.

Grew up with one who was actually diagnosed as a child. The psychiatrist actually implied "mom" had a lot to do in formation of this creature as she openly favored him in the family, overlooked any ( and many) flaws, and always got him out of jams. Now in his 40s, said Narcissist can't hold down a job, roommate or a relationship. Parents have been paying his rent and living expenses for over a year. Not kidding. He doesn't understand why he can't just walk down the street, someone will recognize his sheer brilliance, and offer him a $100,000 job. The father has tried to lock-down the estate, and make it as air- tight as possible from junior's advances since he (the father) now has a terminal illness, but everyone knows when he's gone sonny-boy will work his charm on mom and blow through what's left in a year. Scary.

Not a romantic relationship, but an intense friendship/roommate relationship, it was horrible. He treated me like shit and I didn't realize until the friendship was over and I moved out because I had finally had enough, how horrible he was. The sad thing is that I still look back on those three years as some of the most exciting years of my life.

Thanks for the links. It looks like NPD is very close related with antisocial personality disorder aka sociopathy. I've just realized I had a friend/con artist who threw me under the bus be a spiting image of the description off the links. Scary. I could never understand why a con artist would be so stupid with his actions but apparently some of the descirptors of NPD justifies to a tee the absurdities I went through during our friendship. I have no sympathy for people like that and I hope they all get what's coming.

Just so I'm clear. My roommate/friend/con artist had delusions of grandeur and convinced me to invest in a cake business that never took off. He went as far as giving me the contacts of former victims of his con, under the excuse they were the people he had done business with and we should use in the future. It took me three months to find out there was never a business but his fantasy of having a logo and a website to show off (which was my initial investment into the business).

I could never understand why a guy like that would refer former victims to me which I only got in contact with three months into the deal as it wasn't yet the time to use them, but apparently according to the links provided these people have no sense of reality and contradict and themselves a lot and put themselves into jeopardy constantly. Wow what a relief to finally put a name to the madness. I always thought this guy was a sociopath.

After we parted ways, years later, I found out he married an older guy and forced him to sell his only asset, his tinny home so he could buy a Ferrari which he drove around for about two weeks before the old man realized what a mistake he had done since now he had to pay rent again. He returned the car but still gave half the money to the NPD guy to invest in private VIP parties ( another delusion of grandeur) which also made him lose all the money. When questioned he only stated that we did it of our own volition. True son of a bitch.

R30 I totally hear what you're saying. The first few months were amazing fun, because the NPD person is engaging and fun to be with. Then you start to realise that all is not well.

I’d like to hear what behaviors Meghan Markle has exhibited that reveal her as a narcissist?

Yes - and now at the first sign of one I RUN

Never dated one , but had the deep misfortune of working for two narcissists at two different times . It might as well have been an abusive marriage instead of a workplace trap. Their attitudes and behaviors were shockingly similar not only to each other, but to the current man occupying the Oval Office.

I worked with one too he was a total loon.

How is Markle a narcissist?

One of my friends in Secondary school was like that. Everything was about him. No matter what sort of comment you made he made it all about himself. Luckily I went to uni far away. A lot of mates had a falling out with him. He's in Canada now somehow married and doing counseling (!) for preteens. I have no idea how he got that role and it terrifies me to think someone with so little empathy could be working such a occupation

R39 she isn't. A bunch of loons on Tumblr have decided she's evil because, well, fuck if I know.

Most politicians are narcissistic sociopaths that includes Merkel.

People are particularly singling her out because of a video showing her sociopathy as she tells an immigrant scaping a warzone and fully integrated to. Germany that she'll have to be sent back like only a true egomaniac would. No flintch no remorse as the little girl cries. You can watch it on YouTube r39

The only answer to a narcissist is distance.

I dated one for a bit and it's just so hard to do.

Had to leave for my own sanity.