Are Threads Being Deleted on DL?

The pedo thread was deleted.

I think it's a travesty that we stigmatize child abuse victims from speaking out about their experiences in ways that can help others dealing with the same trauma. Like others in that thread mentioned, it's a disservice to the many victims.

It wasn't a pedo thread, R1. You and a few others jumped all over the op and didn't even read everything he wrote about what happened to him and how it hurt and he hated it, and how the guy threatened him. All he really said was that it happened and he doesn't have bad dreams or PTSD. But then people went nuts and started bringing trans and pedos into it.

But maybe he is more upset about it than what he says or even knows, R2. I had a lot of problems with denial for a long time and still kind of do, so I know what it's like to say it's not a big deal when it really is.

No offense R4... but...and maybe he's not!

He said he hated it but tried not to think about it or pushed it out of his mind, though R5.

It looks like the guy who accused the OP of being a pedo started multiple threads with the same topic causing whoevers in charge to go nuclear and delete them all, including the one sane thread. The thread had already a large number of thoughtful responses, including those who shared their own stories. Sometimes those who scream the loudest do get their way sometimes.

What would you call a guy who says he was molested but wasnt effected by it?

Well adjusted. He didn't say that he wasn't affected by it. He said it hadn't ruined his life. That's a good thing.

I'm glad I got a chance to read it before it was blinked away like a lint on my eyelash!

He specifically said in the thread that he didn't have PTSD, and other people said that he must be a pedo. The op also was wondering why he wasn't as affected as some other people would be. It's not like he said what happened to him was okay, and he also said he felt bad because he never told anyone, and that the guy may have been doing this to other children. I felt bad for him.

This morning I started a new thread about using basic htlm codes on DL and now I can't find it. I think it's been deleted, but for what reason, i don't know? Someone asked me if I was Bill Taylor and I said, no who is that?

It's rather odd and arbitrary (or maybe it is just the search engine that sucks and I simply can't find it).

The guy also tried to say that his neighbor molested him because his mother was a single mom, R9 and that he didn't have any issues because of it.

There were two other child-oriented threads running at the same time as the thread mentioned by OP. One was deleted. Don't know if it was coincidence or if all started by the same person.

One trans thread was deleted as well.

r12 The search engine does suck. I prefer to use my own browser history to find threads again if I'm not watching them.

There has been something weird going on around here lately. The stupid race threads, the threads that seem to come straight from some alt-right board. Is it the heat?

R12, was this your thread?

new to datalounge and experimenting with easy HTML easy codes.

It was deleted.

Only a pedo would say he isn't traumatized by being abused which is why he was either lying or enjoyed being molested like a pedo would.

r17, yep that was it. why would something as innocuous as that be deleted?

Maybe they thought you were gonna mess with their website, R19.

r20, huh? in my thread, someone wrote back instructing me to go to the DL help link (above right) and get formatting tips there. that was it. Weird.

A thread about MJ covering up his pedo crimes also got deleted. It was here:

datalounge.com/thread/19125887-michael-jackson-spent-nearly-35-million-in-a-desperate-bid-to-cover-up-his-crimes-...

The MJ thread would make child-oriented thread #4.

R21 Probably because we see threads like yours pretty frequently, and that's on top of a dedicated "sandbox thread", meant for testing out stuff like tags. So it's nothing personal, really; just routine maintenance.

Meanwhile black slaves were happy before the civil war, women didn't care about voting until they were brainwashed by feminism, the Holocaust never happened, rape shouldn't be a crime unless a good beating ocurred during it, and pedos are just being kink shamed.

I've been on an obscure chan before where one paedophile-apologist started so many threads about it and tried to instigate so many discussions about it that the mods ended up simply deleting every thread that was even in that direction. Maybe something similar is happening here.

R11, r9, r7, r3, r2, all apologists. Check their history.

What r14 said.

I suspect r18 has a hand in this somewhere.

The owners of the website have the right to delete any thread they desire. Don't like it start your own site.

I'm r18 and I had nothing to do with it aside from calling out the other OP for being a pedo and the others that defended him.

This wouldn't be the first DL has deleted pedo accusation threads.

There was one recent thread deleted called "The UK's future is scary." Lots of racial and Muslim "discussions"; maybe it got out of hand?

I recall a thread about being shamed by DL'ers that you're a racist if you don't want to have sex with everyone.

That thread was closed after 10 statements.

Threads were being deleted or closed left and right after the format change. Maybe this means moderators are back. It would be great if they IP blocked certain posters.

I miss the days when only paying members could start threads, there was a lot less hate, less duplicates, and topics were contained to mega threads (which is pretty much limited to fandoms these days)

I know posts by the crazy "only black man on the Datalounge" who stalks other posters and threatens to have them arrested have been deleted. But the thing is too limited to actually start a thread.

R34 This place is already self moderated. I question the wisdom of allowing a moderator to strike down threads that may be controversial, but could lead to good dialogue.

As far as the original thread is concerned, there was nothing controversial about it. The attacks on the OP were out of left field, but I felt the perpetrator(s) were appropriately schooled on the topic. The majority of iinfo was useful for anyone who suffered abuse or knows of someone who has.

Plus, I seriously doubt the OP was unaffected since he decided to start a topic about it.

[quote]I question the wisdom of allowing a moderator to strike down threads that may be controversial, but could lead to good dialogue.

The threads being deleted right after the format change were threads complaining about the format change, threads asking questions about how to navigate the new site, questioning why older, popular threads were being deleted or closed, why wit & wisdom disappeared, etc.

I didn't see the OP and mistakenly thought this thread was talking about deleted threads in general, I didn't know that it was limited to one specific concern. On that topic, I remember some of the Corey Haim threads being deleted last year.

The new format and it's inclusion in Google search results opened the site up to a wider audience which can be a good thing or a bad thing. I for one do not want to be on a site that actively attracts pedophiles.

Or pedophile accusers r37.

I believe this came up several years ago, including a post from the webmaster.

There is research on this topic (studying people who are not affected by molestation). The research was very controversial, but it was still peer reviewed and published. The paper received an official condemnation from the House and Senate, which was a first in history. I guess the mod sided with congress and not with Rind or the OP.

That's because a normal person would have been traumatized by abuse and that OP wasn't. He hasn't had a normal reaction to what he said occurred. Furthermore he did nothing to stop the abuse or to stop his neighbor from harming others and has even said that he hasn't suffered from PTSD because of it. Ehat kind of individual is loke that? Perhaps because he secretly liked it even though he said he hated it. There's something very sick about that.

[quote]That's because a normal person would have been traumatized by abuse and that OP wasn't.

The post right above yours shows that this statement is false.

Likewise, not all soldiers returning from Iraq have PTSD.

Two people can have the same traumatic experience - 1 has PTSD and kills themselves, and 1 lives a normal life. Do you think everyone's brain works exactly the same?

And no - none of this means it's "okay" to molest a child.

R41 The OP was 7-8 when the abuse occurred. How was he responsible? Give me a break.

Meant to quote R40 in the above post

He did nothing to prevent the neighbor from molesting others and normalized what happened by saying he didn't suffer. That's how, r42. I don't believe he was ever molested in the first place by the things he said. And that article was debunked and criticized by the way.

R42, he was the one who said he didn't say anything to anyone and that of he had, he possibly could have stopped it from happening to others, but instead he chose not to.

I was gonna ask him if he ever told his mother about the abuse after the fact.

Some gay men are so fucked up mentally. Now you're rationalizing child molestation? I enjoy sex, but a lot of you seem consumed by it.

[quote]And that article was debunked and criticized by the way.

What article? The Rind et al. paper was a meta-analysis of many studies (articles). There is no academic paper that hasn't been criticized, but it was not "debunked."

As explained above, it is similar to identifying why combat vets returning from the Middle East will have radically different psychological outcomes, even though they went through the same thing. Some are traumatized by it, some are not. Not everyone has the same reaction to the same situation. And that's not an excuse to do it & never will be.

R48 Pedos and their sympathizers don't belong on this site. The Rind et al. paper is an extremely slippery slope. Stop playing obtuse.

Accusing someone of being a pedophile because you don't like their post is not okay. Maybe that's why the thread was closed.

R30, I think it was closed due to the reason mentioned at R14.

R50 it's also not okay to play dumb and ignore the common techniques that pedos use to talk about and gain sympathy for their interests.

The owners of the site get to choose what's okay and what isn't. We don't.

Here are some of R49's other posts.

[quote]Some gay men are so fucked up mentally. Now you're rationalizing child molestation? I enjoy sex, but a lot of you seem consumed by it.

Interesting. First, nobody is rationalizing child molestation anywhere on DL. It seems that you are either bad at reading or just a shit stirrer. Also, speaking of "fucked up mentally" you are obsessed with gay men and HIV / AIDS that you just created two jaded and obnoxious threads about it.

[quote]Gay men - Do we suffer from arrested development? For instance, so many of us have this obsessive fixation on sex to the point where our HIV rates are the highest in North America.

[quote]AIDS - Why don't gay men from that generation take responsibility? And, no, I'm not absolving the Reagan administration of its failures. The disease was preventable in most cases.

As if it wasn't already clear, your disdain for anyone over 40 (who lived though the HIV/AIDS epidemic) is pretty obvious too:

[quote]Old queens and their obsession with the British Royal Family - Someone please explain. Who the hell really cares?

So, what’s this about? Are you bitchy because your sex life with your husband is already diminishing at your “young” age? It appears so, due to the fact you started this thread:

[quote]Relationship Sex (GAY MEN ONLY) - Do you find it diminishes over time like I do? How do you keep things fresh in the bedroom? PS-It's sad that I had to put that disclaimer in my thread title on a gay website

Finally, nobody is defending pedophiles. Not Rind, not Bailey, and not me. But the OP of the last thread said he wasn't bothered by being molested, and another few posters said the same thing. The only one who was bothered in that thread was someone that got made fun of by other teachers and kids (who found out about it). People’s brain’s work differently. It’s not that complicated. The Rind paper (if you could read it, which you obviously can’t) makes it clear why this is and the criticism of the paper does not attack the central core of the argument.

Thanks r54

I'm the OP of the other thread. It took me awhile to respond here because I never would have dreamed that I would be accused of being a pedophile or pedo sympathizer. I'm not. If you read through my posts I said that my biggest regret about what happened to me is the thought that if only I had said something, he may have been prevented from molesting other children. So, no, I'm no fucking sympathizer. I also said that it was painful and that I hated it. So whoever the freaks are here suggesting that I somehow wanted or liked it, just because I wasn't traumatized, you're the ones who sound like a fucking pedo, not me. I was seven. How would you like someone sticking things inside you when you were seven?

It's true that I said that I haven't suffered the long term damage that other abuse victims have. I'm pretty sure that in my original post, I wrote something about how I found it strange that other victims have problems that I've never experienced. I've read the literature on things such as ptsd, rape trauma, and I don't have those sorts of symptoms.

I don't know why I wasn't bothered by the experience the way others have been. Maybe it's because when it was happening, I would force myself to think of something else instead of what he was doing. I can remember a time when I was concentrating so hard on a picture on the wall that I didn't even realize that it was over. If thoughts or memories came to me, I would force myself to think of something else or even pinch my arm until the thought was gone. When it was gone, I could go on with whatever it was I was doing. It's hard to explain it, but maybe that's what helped me cope and not think about what had happened. I still try to think of other things if something reminds me of it. The only way I can describe it that it's similar to getting a craving for a cigarette when you're trying to quit smoking. You get the craving, you get up, do something, and then a minute later the craving is gone. Maybe that helped me compartmentalize my life; this neighbor did things to me, but that's not my whole life, it's not who I am, that was then, but it's over. I did have a very happy childhood otherwise as well, I'm sure that helped.

The only reason why I posted about it the other day is because I recently went for a drive past my mother's old house and saw his house for the first time in years. Instead of pushing all those thoughts away like I normally would, I remembered what happened there. I read some more about male adult survivors of sexual abuse and again, couldn't relate to the issues in life that some of them have experienced.

Another poster asked if I've ever told my mother about this. No, I've never told anyone and I'll never tell my mom. She was doing her best as a single mom to raise and provide for me and he was helping her out by babysitting me. I'm afraid that she'd feel guilty and I'd never want to burden her with it even if she didn't. It's in the past and she doesn't need to know.

No real.abuse victim forgets about the abuse or pinches their arm to stop thinking about it.

R57 You don't know what someone else's experience is! OP is obviously sincere and working through some memories that he is finally ready to deal with. We all cope in our own ways, some more effective than others.

Some victims of CSA don't even consciously remember it for many years. Another response can be a blunting of all intense experiences. OP, have you had a healthy sex life and love life since you have been an adult? Since your coping methods were constructive, you may be unaware of some ways it affected you.

I think they delete all threads with HTML code, R12. I would assume it causes problems or triggers the anti-spam filters.

I'm the one who pointed out how to get the forum bold and italic codes, did you figure it out?

[quote]It took me awhile to respond here because I never would have dreamed that I would be accused of being a pedophile or pedo sympathizer. I'm not.

Okay, but your post was triggering, something I know most on DL think isn't a real thing, but which unfortunately is. Someone struggling with CSA doesn't want to come to DL for fun threads and see "Yeah I was molested but who cares, it's no big, wevs."

I put your post on ignore because it was just obnoxious and not something I wanted to see several times a day, and my partner is a victim of having been molested by a step-sister when he was 5 years old, so I didn't want him to see it over my shoulder or on my phone, either.

My guess is that if enough people put it on ignore or FF it, the system deletes it. Surely you can understand that.

[quote]No real abuse victim forgets about the abuse or pinches their arm to stop thinking about it.

Ah, here we go, the "no real Scotsman" argument. People are allowed to process experiences differently while they're happening, cope with them differently, and talk about those differences as well. You alone don't get to decide how a person deals with their abuse.

The "triggering" bullshit needs to stop as well. We will not pad the entire fucking world to cater to your wounds. You. are. not. that. important. This is life; get off the internet if you can't deal with it.

[quote] We will not pad the entire fucking world to cater to your wounds.

I should have known that as soon as I said people on DL think triggering is imaginary, it would attract a cranky troll like you to try to start a fight about it by making up a scenario in your head.

I didn't ask that dippy OP to stop possibly triggering my partner. I very clearly said I used the ignore button because it was a stupid and obnoxious thread. Because that's what the ignored button is for.

The only reason I even brought it up is because that OP (and most people here) don't seem to realize that if enough people ignore a thread it will disappear.

I'm not going to stop ignoring stupid and obnoxious threads just because several others might do the same, causing the system to autodelete a thread. Not my problem. Post whatever the fuck you want, I can control my own DL content.

Sorry you're not smart enough to do the same, R62. Perhaps some night courses or occupational therapy might help?

R60 is correct. All this sturm and drang over a thread deleted for technical reasons! OP, live in peace and prosper, but don't paste web addresses anywhere except in the Web Site Link box. Usually it won't let you post if you put it anywhere else. R63 Isn't it too many FFs that cause a thread to be deleted rather than ignores? Anyway, read the rules in the Help section.

He said pinching his arm made him not think about it. No one does that and he's lying.

Of course they do. It's called distraction. It's like putting a rubber. And on your wrist and snapping it.

Lol - rubber band!

That's bull, r66. Pinching or snapping a rubber band on your arm isn't enough of a distraction to make serious sexual abuse go away.

Duh, nobody said it went away.

Duh, yes he said it did make it go away., r69.

[quote] [quote]It took me awhile to respond here because I never would have dreamed that I would be accused of being a pedophile or pedo sympathizer. I'm not.

[quote] Okay, but your post was triggering, something I know most on DL think isn't a real thing, but which unfortunately is.

Read my post again at R56. I never once mentioned a single word about the thread being deleted, R69. All I said was that I was surprised at the accusations made at me in it, and in this one as well. Surely you can understand that, dippy, R69.

Yes, R59, pretty healthy. I've been with my partner for eight years and I couldn't be happier. I'm very lucky to have him. In my 20s, I did a lot of hooking up and was in a couple of bad short-term relationships, one of which bordered on abusive. I'm not sure if that had anything to do with what happened in my past or if that was just because I was young and stupid or both.

What do you know, R65? Pinching myself and forcing myself to think of something else was the way I coped. I could also zone out and pretend as if it weren't happening. It's what worked for me at the time. So sorry if my coping mechanism wasn't up to your standards.

Living well is the best revenge Have a happy life, OP. CSA does not define you.

You're a good egg r71. Don't let the hysterical homophobic fat chick tell you otherwise.

I grew up in an abusive home with a lot of stress and chaos and I used to poke a screw driver into my skin when I got stressed out, R65.

[quote]. I still try to think of other things if something reminds me of it.

R57. He didn't say he forgot about it, just that he tries not to think about it. I don't understand your anger at the sexual abuse OP.

I have a close friend who was raped in college. I'm sure that it has affected her and that she must think of it sometimes but she has been able to move on, have a happy marriage, successful career, etc..

It's a sign of tremendous inner strength to not allow yourself to be defined by the worst thing that has happened to you. It's perfectly understandable that some people may not be able to come to terms with something as awful as child sexual abuse but don't be so angry at those who do.

R75, I and others believe that the OP of the other thread is a pedophile who posted about how his experience didn't bother him to gain approval from pedo sympathizers. Others mentioned how the Ops flippant attitude "no big deal, no trauma, no PTSD" is something the pedophiles say to justify their crimes. That Op could very well be lying about being molested since he seems so casual about it. And as another poster upthread mentioned, his thread was stupid and triggering to survivors. I don't believe that someone forgets about abuse by pinching themselves or thinking of other things. It doesnt work that way.

I get what you're saying, R75, but DL attracts people who come here to try to surreptitiously engage in their disgusting behavior. We had a necrophiliac not that long ago, right before the campaigns started in earnest in 2016 if I recall, and he was either sincerely trying to get people to talk about things he could wank to OR he was trolling and pretending to be that kind of guy.

Anyone who posts a thread like that OP did is going to get accused of posting with a creepy agenda. He may have been sincere, but on DL, who knows? Surely you can understand that.

R2 A lot of those stigmatizing victims are either abusers themselves or victims in denial.

That's clear.

R10 What a cute analogy.

R56 / R71, you're quoting me at r61 but yelling at r69.

I don't really care if you personally said anything about the thread being deleted, anyway. This entire thread is about threads which were deleted, which is why I addressed that at r61 and r63.

As for the person who asked about FFs versus ignores, I honestly don't know for sure. The FAQ used to say they both were basically dings against a poster, but I see that's no longer there. That said, I know I once put a troll on ignore and within 60 seconds his posts were greyed out, so I got the impression ignores also count against someone. But I'm not a moderator so I can't tell you for sure.

Did you even read his posts, R77? I'm just wondering since everything he said in them sounded fine to me. He basically said something like how he knew that other people had certain symptoms and he didn't. He also said that he hated it and how he had wished he'd reported him in case he was hurting other kids. Did you not read that?

I think he even said that not reporting him was what bothered him most.

[quote]I'm just wondering since everything he said in them sounded fine to me.

So? It's not about whether it sounds fine to you.

These are anonymous comments on an anonymous board. You want to take them as 100% truth, you're welcome to, but I doubt most people would. Most people who have been on the internet for any length of time, especially on an anonymous forum like DL which attracts a lot of trolls, would question what his purpose even WAS to post what he did. This isn't a board for abuse survivors. It's not a board that even really talks about childhood abuse much.

"But he said he was bothered about others who were abused" doesn't mean jack shit, as far as I'm concerned. You're saying that it proves he's on the up-and-up, but it really doesn't.

So do you really think that someone's life wasn't affected by abuse means there's something wrong with them? There were others on the thread who told their stories and said they didn't have any symptoms either and that the abuse didn't negatively affect their lives. I'm different, I was abused but have had a lot of problems because of it, but I know just from some reading I've done and counseling that not everyone reacts the same way.

You're stupid and obnoxious, R61. Someone in your position (dating a survivor) should try and be a little more sympathetic to other victims.

There have been plenty of posts here from childhood abuse survivors, R84. People are free to post on whatever topic they choose. Who are you to judge someone with no evidence and because their life worked out differently than others, including your boyfriend who would be triggered by a DL thread? You're the creep for accusing someone of something heinous. You're basically shaming someone for not being traumatized and fitting a suitable victim mold.

R77, you know what's triggering? People like you who jump to conclusions and accuse someone of something because you didn't like a post. Are you upset about the posters upthread who suggest that I liked or wanted the abuse or that I'm somehow responsible because I didn't stop it? Or are you one of the ones who implied such things? Maybe you're the poster with a creepy agenda here?

R69, sorry, my statement at R71 was directed at R61, not you.

If it isn't a thread that praised do nothing Obama and his pot headed daughter, it gets deleted.

No maybe about it r87.

I was never molested.

I have never had a long term relationship. I have never had a relationship lasting longer than 3 weeks. I do not have any friends anymore. I am almost 40. I am not even ugly, supposedly....since I am able to hook up all the time. (less so in the last couple of years since I am past gay death of 35).

So, ANYONE CARE TO EXPLAIN THESE THINGS? It's too bad I can't blame my fucked up romantic life on my molestation, isn't it? Sometimes I think you molestation obsessed people are just a bunch of maladjusted nuts. You didn't go to Iraq. You weren't subjected to violence. If you were, that's different (based on the research into this topic). But to latch on to one little thing (oooo my brother touched my penis... the horror! the horror!) and blame that for ALL of your fucking problems, when likely, as research shows, it did not cause them, is pathetic. You are responsible for your own damn problems, not something that happened to you as a kid.

Oprah is the perfect (yet ironic) example. She goes ON AND ON about molestation season after season - having dozens of episodes on the topic . The poor molested bitch is worth 1.2 billion. Where is my 1.2 billion?

What can I blame my sad sick pathetic life on? Hmmm??? WHAT?

That's all I have to say. FF me all you want. It's how I feel and that is that.

r60 - [bold]yes thank you for pointing me in the right directions. [/bold]

Some cows are more sacred than others.

Bump

When we were 13 an elderly doctor touched us inappropriately 'down there'

Threads will get crossed out if the OP gets too many F&F's. It's not necessarily hostile admin action.

Of course the Third Wave Feminism thread got closed.

R96 There are a small handful of control freaks who shut down threads they dislike.

R96 Self-moderating has been a complete failure

Wow, that thread about the new acid attack in London seemed to get yanked within minutes. I don't even think it's known if the perps are *you know* but I guess the moderator wanted to be on the safe side.

I wouldn't be surprised if they thought it was a duplicate thread by the same people stirring up shit in the older threads about that prior attack. We have obsessives, you know.

R96.I know. Wtf?

I have always believed that people who are devoid of emotion (psychopaths, sociopaths, etc, to name two of a few serious disorders) do not experience or process traumatic events in the same way as those who are normal and emotionally intelligent/stable, and who have emotions along with real compassion for others. BTW, by 'devoid of emotion' I mean no remorse/shame/guilt, and it has nothing to do with being introverted and/or with being more comfortable alone than in social settings.

I have thirty-three first cousins and there were two male adult child molesters in the extended family (they're unrelated to each other) and of all six victims, two of whom are disordered psychopaths/sociopaths (2 of my cousins) were not nearly as affected or traumatized as those who are normal and not disordered (4 of my cousins) who were traumatized..... the rest of us were spared the trauma of sexual abuse for various reasons.

Our opinions and theories are shaped formed by our personal experiences. That is my experience, so that is what I happen to believe.

Bumping this because another hilarious Melissa Miller thread got deleted again. Boo!