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What do you call your cousin's cousin?

Is there a term or protocol for identifying someone, who is not related to you by blood, but is your cousin's cousin?

I, the son of my mom's sister (let's call him "Jed") and the son of Jed's uncle - his dad's brother - are extremely close and have always referred to each other as cousins. Recently, at a wedding, one of my mom's meddling acquaintances commented that Jed's cousin was not related to me and we should stop addressing each other as such, even when I explained we grew up as family. She said we should introduce each other as friends and nothing more, and eyeballed me for the rest if the evening as I continued to introduce him as my cousin. Her husband said why just not go with "my cousin's cousin?" I laughed at them, but you could tell my (cousin's) cousin was annoyed. In the car he said hearing that from a stranger stung a little. Is there a genealogical word that clearly defines our relationship?

by Anonymousreply 59May 24, 2017 1:43 PM


by Anonymousreply 1May 23, 2017 11:36 PM


by Anonymousreply 2May 23, 2017 11:39 PM

Kin is a nicely encompassing term, Although a bit vague. I'd just leave it at cousin.

by Anonymousreply 3May 23, 2017 11:40 PM

No such designation, "cousin's cousin" is correct.

by Anonymousreply 4May 23, 2017 11:40 PM

Not that I know of. Cousin-in-law is the closest that comes to mind, but I don't believe that's an actual term.

Just continue saying cousin, and tell people to mind their damn business.

by Anonymousreply 5May 23, 2017 11:42 PM

I have never understood the whole business of "second cousin, twice removed," "third cousin, once removed" and so forth. If they were removed, why are they still cousins? I hope someone explains it all to me someday.

by Anonymousreply 6May 23, 2017 11:45 PM

I think it's second cousin, which is often a stranger. I would refer to him as a cousin. I think it's common to do so, even when you're unrelated but very close, isn't it?

by Anonymousreply 7May 23, 2017 11:46 PM

What does "first cousin, once removed" mean?

by Anonymousreply 8May 23, 2017 11:48 PM

Sister Mary and R8, etc.,

Generally, though not exactly:

First cousins are usually just called "cousins". They are your parent's sibling's kids. You only see them at holidays unless you are very close.

Second cousins are your cousin's cousins. They are essentially strangers, unless you live on a small island in Maine.

Third cousins are your second cousin's cousins, etc.


by Anonymousreply 9May 23, 2017 11:52 PM


by Anonymousreply 10May 23, 2017 11:53 PM

Someone with whom you are "friendsly."

by Anonymousreply 11May 23, 2017 11:54 PM

One of my best friends is my dad's sister's husband's brother's son...

by Anonymousreply 12May 23, 2017 11:55 PM

As for the "removed" business, generally, though not exactly:

This means you go back in time. Your first cousin once removed is your parent's cousin. Twice removed is a grandparent's cousin. Etc.

Got it? There will be a quiz, so don't bluff.

by Anonymousreply 13May 23, 2017 11:55 PM

R11, he's called a stranger.

by Anonymousreply 14May 23, 2017 11:57 PM

Thank you for the explanation. What does "kissin' cousins" mean?

by Anonymousreply 15May 23, 2017 11:57 PM

I now realize I've had the whole thing backward this whole time!

by Anonymousreply 16May 24, 2017 12:00 AM

The removal business: if your first cousin has a son--the son would be your first cousin once removed. The once removed is the 1 generation difference. If you have a daughter, then the daughter and your cousin's son would be second cousins. No removal as they are of the same generation.

by Anonymousreply 17May 24, 2017 12:05 AM

I'd call him " fair game".

by Anonymousreply 18May 24, 2017 12:08 AM

r17 is correct

by Anonymousreply 19May 24, 2017 12:09 AM

That's right, r17. First, second, third cousins, etc., are in parallel generations. Their kids are "cousins once removed" from the numbered cousins, and if those kids in turn have kids those children are twice removed.

by Anonymousreply 20May 24, 2017 12:09 AM

There is a reasonably accomplished painter in my family line. He has my brother's first name, and our last name. I've made a hobby of researching his life, photographing his artwork which means traveling to various museums, and so forth. His grave was "lost" and I found it, and I was able to document it, so that was an accomplishment. If he were alive today, we'd call it extreme stalking. But it keeps me busy. Anyway, he's my first cousin, four times removed. I just call him "my ancestor".

That means he's the son of my old-grandpa's brother (making him my first cousin), and is four generations in the past.

by Anonymousreply 21May 24, 2017 12:12 AM

"Removed" is a way to designate a generational shift. If Joe is your first cousin, Joe's son, Bob, is your first cousin once removed. Said a different way, you are Bob's father's cousin.

Such designations have to do with the number of grandparents, great grandparents and such that you share.

First cousin - you share two grandparents (one of each of your parents are siblings and have the same parents)

Second Cousin - you share the same great-grandparents, but not the same grandparents.

At best, you might say you're cousins by marriage - to indicate that you're connected through marriage and not blood.

by Anonymousreply 22May 24, 2017 12:12 AM

r15 it's a cousin you have a crush on as a child. Usually they remain close thru life.

by Anonymousreply 23May 24, 2017 12:13 AM

Start introducing mom's acquaintance as My Mom's Cunt of an Acquaintance. That should stop her meddling permanently.

by Anonymousreply 24May 24, 2017 12:27 AM

There is also a complication because grandparents; uncles & aunts; and cousins are not numbered similarly. The reason is as follows:

Grandparents get referred to like this: 4th great grandpa. But, that means your great-great-great-great grandpa, four "greats". You write great "great" four times. But, you start with a parent, "Dad"; then "Grandpa", and only then do you start with the "greats". So, your forth "great", is actually six generations back.

No so with aunts & uncles. They go: uncle; great uncle; great-grand uncle; then revert back to numbering, with third great uncle.

Cousins go, oh, I'm too exhausted to write it up. Though, my first cousin, four times removed, is the son of my forth great uncle.

by Anonymousreply 25May 24, 2017 12:29 AM

Kissin' cousins are those who share familial blood, but are distantly related enough that dating/marriage would not be illegal or taboo. Probably 3rd cousins and beyond.

by Anonymousreply 26May 24, 2017 12:29 AM

If this interests you, you can go on ancestry.com, create a dummy tree, or even a real tree; perhaps, and them ask ancestry to calculate or identify the relationship.

by Anonymousreply 27May 24, 2017 12:31 AM

I don't think "kissing cousins" really has a precise definition. I'll eat my hat if it does.

by Anonymousreply 28May 24, 2017 12:32 AM

How would you ever even come across relatives that extremely far from your immediate family?

by Anonymousreply 29May 24, 2017 12:39 AM

[quote] R20: That's right, [R17]. First, second, third cousins, etc., are in parallel generations...

I don't think this is correct, if I understand correctly. My 3rd great grandfather's brother (my 4th great uncle), his son is my first cousin, 4 times removed. So, he's still my first cousin even though he died in 1835.

by Anonymousreply 30May 24, 2017 12:39 AM

OP, I don't think there is a term for cousin's cousin. Like someone said above, I would call him whatever you are both comfortable with. Since you are so close, maybe you should twist Hamlet's comment about his Uncle Claudius, "A little more than kin and less than kind." In your case, since you aren't really related but have a close emotional bond, you could say, "A little less than kin but more than kind."

As to the question of degrees of cousins and removals, here is an explanation:

Your first cousins are the children of your biological aunts and uncles. Your second cousins are the children of your parents' cousins. Your third cousins are the children of your grandparent's cousins, etc.

Your parents cousins are your first cousins once removed. Your grandparents' cousins are your first cousins twice removed., etc.

Where it can get complicated is if you are talking about someone who is a distant cousin in the past. For instance, Abraham Lincoln is my seventh cousin five times removed. One of his ancestors is Obadiah Holmes, who is also one of my ancestors. To determine his exact relationship to me, however, I have to go back to my ancestor descended from Obadiah Holmes who is Lincoln's contemporary. That would be my third great grandmother. She was Lincoln's 7th cousin, and I am the fifth generation from her, so Lincoln is my seventh cousin five times removed. If, however, you are attempting to determine your relationship to your own contemporary, you just count the generations between you and your common ancestor. Princess Diana was my 10th cousin. Her mother and my mother were both descended from John and Elizabeth Cogswell, who arrived in MA in the 1630s. Diana descended from the Cogswells' son William; I descend from their daughter Hannah. So, William's child and Hannah's child were first cousinsThis also means that William and Harry are my 11th cousins and George and Charlotte are my 12th cousins. All of these are too far distant to have any DNA relationship other than haplotype relationships. We are only related by genealogy, having common distant ancestors.

by Anonymousreply 31May 24, 2017 12:46 AM

[quote] A little less than kin but more than kind.

I comment the effort here, but this sounds super-creepy.

by Anonymousreply 32May 24, 2017 12:51 AM

^"Commend", I mean.

by Anonymousreply 33May 24, 2017 12:51 AM

Fuck you, 31, I multigenerational name dropping.

by Anonymousreply 34May 24, 2017 12:52 AM

No wonder this topic is so damn confusing:

Nobody seems to agree!

by Anonymousreply 35May 24, 2017 12:52 AM

I knew Obadiah Holmes, and you Sir, are no Obadiah Holmes. But you might know your mutual cousin, John Holmes, a cousin removed 14 and half times!

by Anonymousreply 36May 24, 2017 12:54 AM

I've seen the term shirt-tail relations used to describe a family not related to directly to you, but from a marriage of one of their relatives to one of yours.

by Anonymousreply 37May 24, 2017 12:55 AM

R31, where did the Cogswells live in Massachusetts ? I might know the family.

by Anonymousreply 38May 24, 2017 12:58 AM

Refer to him however you want, and tell the busybody to mind her own fucking business.

by Anonymousreply 39May 24, 2017 1:02 AM

In Spanish we have the term "primo político" (political cousin) which indeed refers to a cousin you have by marriage, who's not a blood relative. This is different from step cousin, who would also be a non blind d relative but defined by a second marriage of a blood relative.

But, save for some rich families who constantly need to be defining who belongs in the clan and who doesn't, we can end to be less hung up about bloodline accuracy than Anglo cultures, so we just go with cousins.

BTW, first/second and once/twice removed terminology all refers to blood relatives, so it doesn't apply here, and r17 is correct.

by Anonymousreply 40May 24, 2017 1:08 AM

Blind d >> blood

by Anonymousreply 41May 24, 2017 1:08 AM

Can end >> tend

by Anonymousreply 42May 24, 2017 1:09 AM

R38, he settled in Ipswich, but has a lot of descendants throughout the country. If you know someone named Cogswell in MA, they are likely descended from John and Elizabeth but could be descended from someone else.

R34, I realize that it probably seems so, but it wasn't really my intention. Most people have famous cousins but don't know it. For instance, a few years ago two mathematicians basically proved that anyone with any Western European Heritage was a descendant of Charlemagne. I didn't mean it to brag. My mother's father was a carpenter and her mother was the daughter of a farmer.

by Anonymousreply 43May 24, 2017 1:10 AM

I am my own cousin. Three lines on my father's side go back to the same 6x great grandparents.

by Anonymousreply 44May 24, 2017 1:13 AM

I call my cousins' cousins my cousins-in-law. I haven't seen any of them in decades, so until today, I hadn't called them anything in a long, long time.

by Anonymousreply 45May 24, 2017 1:28 AM

R43, Elizabeth Coggswell of Ipswich (b. ~1697) is the mother-in-law of my first cousin, 10 times removed. We are all now familiar with what that means, I'm sure.

I have found that the number of "g"s in the name varies with each reference.

by Anonymousreply 46May 24, 2017 1:50 AM

One branch of my relatives moved to some island in Maine centuries ago. I imagine it's a small, isolated community. My family married into another particular family there three times in 2 generations. So, my family tree looks more like a spider web.

by Anonymousreply 47May 24, 2017 1:54 AM

It's surprisingly not odd to see families where two siblings in one family marry siblings in another family. I found one family documented incorrectly because of this confusion:

Miss Mary Smith became Mrs. Mary Jones; and her sister-in-law,

Miss Mary Jones became Mrs. Mary Smith.

Or it's also confusing when a woman marries a man with the same last name. I was going nuts trying to find a maiden name, in such a case, and finally realized the maiden and married names were the same. Then the husband was widowed, and later married another woman with the same first name. So, Mrs. Martha (Martin) Martin was replaced with Mrs. Martha (Russell) Martin. It would be easy to not even notice that Martha died and was followed by another Martha. But that is the whole puzzle of it all.

by Anonymousreply 48May 24, 2017 2:02 AM

This cousin trivia is the most useful thing I learned in law school.

by Anonymousreply 49May 24, 2017 2:36 AM

You cousin's cousin is just that, your cousin's cousin. No relation to you whatsoever.

A cousin-in-law is someone married to your own cousin.

by Anonymousreply 50May 24, 2017 2:39 AM

Has the lusty cousin commented yet?

by Anonymousreply 51May 24, 2017 2:41 AM

Imagine an extended family; the people in this family are named, A, A1, A2, A3, and B, B1, B2, and B3.

A and B are brothers.

A1 is the son of A.

A2 is the son of A1, and the grandson of A.

A 3 is the son of A2, the grandson of A1, and the great-grandson of A.

B1 is the son of B.

B2 is the son of B1, and the grandson of B.

B3 is the son of B2, the grandson of B1, and the great-grandson of B.


A and B1 are uncle and nephew.

A and B2 are great-uncle (or granduncle) and grandnephew

A and B 3 are great-granduncle and great-grandnephew.

A1 and B1 are first cousins

A1 and B2 are first cousins once removed.

A1 and B3 are first cousins twice removed.

A2 and B2 are second cousins

A2 and B3 are second cousins once removed.

A3 and B3 are third cousins

by Anonymousreply 52May 24, 2017 4:01 AM

[Quote]You cousin's cousin is just that, your cousin's cousin. No relation to you whatsoever.


by Anonymousreply 53May 24, 2017 11:35 AM

I didn't mean to name drop. My great great great great great great grandmother's second cousin twice removed was a carpenter named Jesus and her mother was Mary.

by Anonymousreply 54May 24, 2017 12:02 PM

R54 Jesus was a DUDE you SJW. Deal with it.

by Anonymousreply 55May 24, 2017 12:04 PM

You just have to remember this. First, second, third cousins, etc., are your cousins in parallel universes. Their kids are "cousins once removed" from the numbered cousins, and if those kids in turn have kids those children are twice removed. If they marry they are your cousin in laws.

by Anonymousreply 56May 24, 2017 12:05 PM

R55, Jesus preferred she/they pronouns.

by Anonymousreply 57May 24, 2017 12:06 PM

Cousin by marriage.

by Anonymousreply 58May 24, 2017 1:10 PM

I call her fatso

by Anonymousreply 59May 24, 2017 1:43 PM
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