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The DataLounge Convention in the Jacob Javits Center in NYC

Having a great time at the end of the first day! It was good to see some faces to put with the personalities I've learned to love.

I went to the punctuation symposium which was surprisingly good. That Randolf is HOT! I mean jacked! And he really knows his punctuation. I think he should be promoted from assistant to full-Punctuationist, but I'm just an amateur,

There is a room showing videos of mooses 7x24, that was entertaining after a few gin and tonics.

Apparently there was some bonding on an AMTRAK yesterday and that's prompted a high stakes, invitation only whist game.

I hear Henry Cavill will be here tomorrow! Very excited.

by Anonymousreply 402April 29, 2017 12:13 AM

But, OP, darling, tell us about the food and fashion!

by Anonymousreply 1April 18, 2017 1:53 AM

The caftan venders are pretty aggressive. Almost as bad as the scooter salesman. Just extend your palm in the "stop in the name of love" position and exclamation "Nein!", and they will leave you alone. It works for me.

by Anonymousreply 2April 18, 2017 1:54 AM

Will the Cary Leeds troll be attending?

by Anonymousreply 3April 18, 2017 1:57 AM

I don't know, R3. Maybe someone from the hospitality committee has a registration list.

by Anonymousreply 4April 18, 2017 2:02 AM

There's an impromptu "Murder Mystery" event tomorrow as well. I hope Henry doesn't get murdered. I suppose that's inevitable. The big names always hog the spotlight. This being DataLounge, I imagine it could get out of hand.

by Anonymousreply 5April 18, 2017 2:08 AM

Mayor DeBlasio showed up to grip and grin. We wanted to see his son instead.

by Anonymousreply 6April 18, 2017 2:12 AM

No, r6. We didn't want to see Dante or Chirlayne DeBlasio, unless it was moving out of Gracie Mansion and back to Brooklyn. So much easier than taking a motorcade there every morning to go to some crappy YMCA.

by Anonymousreply 7April 18, 2017 2:17 AM

Tonight we will be holding our "who is dying in that grease fire?" free event. The room will decked out like the colosseum so those attending are encouraged to wear togas to get into the spirit. One of our most persistent unfunny trolls will be going up in flames tonight. Come and see if you can work out who it is!

by Anonymousreply 8April 18, 2017 2:21 AM

OP which vendors are presenting hole?

by Anonymousreply 9April 18, 2017 2:21 AM

Oh, the hissing eldergays will love that!

by Anonymousreply 10April 18, 2017 2:22 AM

How's the requisite potato bar?

by Anonymousreply 11April 18, 2017 2:23 AM

Javits Center? Please. They could even get Pei, but had to settle for James Ingo Freed . Feh!

by Anonymousreply 12April 18, 2017 2:24 AM

There was a cash bar at the welcoming reception, R1. I thought it should be included in the registration fee.

There was a cute guy serving drinks. He was a blond named John from New Hamster. About 23. He went to Hofstra, and does something with film production when not serving drinks or styling his beautiful hair. He seemed pretty accomplished for a young man. Kudos for whomever thought to hire him.

by Anonymousreply 13April 18, 2017 2:27 AM

Can I get any celebrity autographs?

by Anonymousreply 14April 18, 2017 2:27 AM

I love you, R8.

by Anonymousreply 15April 18, 2017 2:29 AM

Come see me at booth #23 where I will be handing out samples of my famous prune smoothies.

by Anonymousreply 16April 18, 2017 2:30 AM

Sponsored by Metamucil.

by Anonymousreply 17April 18, 2017 2:31 AM

R11, the potatos are "over-stuffed". They're not very good but the portions are huge!

by Anonymousreply 18April 18, 2017 2:32 AM

Are you cute, R14?

by Anonymousreply 19April 18, 2017 2:33 AM

Poo Shoes has graciously volunteered to be bathroom attendant!

by Anonymousreply 20April 18, 2017 2:39 AM

R20, do we drop a coin on a plate outside the men's room as we enter or leave?

by Anonymousreply 21April 18, 2017 2:47 AM

[quote]do we drop a coin on a plate outside the men's room as we enter or leave?

Depends on whether the poo tide is ebbing or flowing.

by Anonymousreply 22April 18, 2017 2:51 AM

Addicted in Kansas City will be doing his usual pass around bottom bit by the dumpsters. He needs coin for meth.

by Anonymousreply 23April 18, 2017 2:53 AM

Well, that's quite a shocker, R23. I'm shocked.

by Anonymousreply 24April 18, 2017 2:56 AM

It was sooooo sad when the grease fire overtook the Punctuation Symposian and roasted all the Oh Dear Queers🍻👏😂🍸💃

by Anonymousreply 25April 18, 2017 2:59 AM

MANet Jackson will be performing her first ever concert since giving birth!

. . . Never mind . . .

by Anonymousreply 26April 18, 2017 3:25 AM

Hillarium is coming as well tomorrow so she can finally deliver her "you all really love me" speech at the Jatvis

by Anonymousreply 27April 18, 2017 3:28 AM

OP, make sure you visit the DePuy exhibit so you can see the most up to date options for hip replacement. There might also be a pharma exhibit for Januvia that has patient information for better managing your diabetes.

Park your Hoveround at one of the charging stations outside the exhibit hall. Walking around the convention will help lower your blood sugar.

by Anonymousreply 28April 18, 2017 4:02 AM

R25 Symposian?

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 29April 18, 2017 4:06 AM

Nutloaf will be served as an appetizer before Tig Notaro does her set. She's willing to start late depending on how long it takes for all those U-Haul trucks to get situated.

by Anonymousreply 30April 18, 2017 4:08 AM

Nein!, R28!

by Anonymousreply 31April 18, 2017 4:09 AM

All who desire to may Plant Their Own Tree in the Helen Lawson Memorial Garden.

by Anonymousreply 32April 18, 2017 4:11 AM

Helen Lawson is a fictional character based on Ethel Merman, I just learned. DataLounge, you inspire me to learn!

by Anonymousreply 33April 18, 2017 4:14 AM

You all know that the evening punctuationist isn't an expert in grammatical punctuation, right?

by Anonymousreply 34April 18, 2017 4:15 AM

Oh 34, and you disparage him at Easter, too! For shame!

by Anonymousreply 35April 18, 2017 4:16 AM

Thank god the shreeeeeeeeeeeeeeking gaylings were liminted to 2 hour complimentary passes.

by Anonymousreply 36April 18, 2017 4:20 AM

I'm not saying he's not an expert. A punctuationist has nothing to do with grammar is all.

by Anonymousreply 37April 18, 2017 4:21 AM

We're finally going to drop the "shards" of confetti that were supposed to fall from the metaphorically shattered glass ceiling the night Hillary won the Presidency. Don't tell Lens, but we're also dropping a bucket of pig's blood over her head at the same time.

by Anonymousreply 38April 18, 2017 4:25 AM

The Evening Punctuationist will tell you that he's not an expert. He's an enthusiast. But if he stirs punctuation interest in just one person, then he's a success.

R37, are you Randolf?

by Anonymousreply 39April 18, 2017 4:25 AM

OP, don't try to be hero like last year. You were too proud to wear your Depends and we all remember what happened. Fortunately, First Aid was very generous to lay you on an unused table while several people held up the table skirt to preserve any remnants of dignity while you had. I recrded the entire episode. Don't worry though, its on password protected site.

by Anonymousreply 40April 18, 2017 4:27 AM

The evening punctuationist, is an hobbyist in evolutionary theory. Not punctuation as in commas, semi-colons, etc....

by Anonymousreply 41April 18, 2017 4:32 AM

Jessica Lange will do a meet and greet in the grand salon at 10 pm. Extra EMT's will be on hand for all the Langbot's hyperventilating, when Sarandon sweeps in brandishing her Emmy.

by Anonymousreply 42April 18, 2017 4:44 AM

OP, what is the battery life on your portable oxygen machine? If it's the latest model, your posse might think you are carrying a messenger bag and not realize it's oxygen.

by Anonymousreply 43April 18, 2017 4:53 AM

The Vagina capes and Caftans, soiree will be in Copacabana room at midnight. Special guest appearances by Joyce De Witt, Susan Richardson,and Captain and Tenille.

NO pasta will be drained in the visions of Italia Cafe.

The Long Island Medium, will be contacting Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, Brett Sommers, Liberace, and The Marquis De Sade.Expecting a sell out.

by Anonymousreply 44April 18, 2017 4:54 AM

[quote] the visions of Italia Cafe.

Olive Garden?

by Anonymousreply 45April 18, 2017 5:01 AM

Don't forget the "Once Around the Garden" Buffet. Though the "Autumn Harvest" option is a much better deal.

by Anonymousreply 46April 18, 2017 5:01 AM

Will the play about DL be previewed at the convention?

by Anonymousreply 47April 18, 2017 5:02 AM

Herr Bratwurst will be available at the Hitler Youth booth unveiling his massive Aryan sausage to fondle.

by Anonymousreply 48April 18, 2017 5:03 AM

A Golden Girls inconsistencies symposium will be in the Grand Hall at 8am ,Sunday. Expect this to be an all day affair, wear comfortable shoes, but please no flip flops with camel toe. Betty White, will do a Q&A teleconference from her Oxygen tent in Beverly Hills.

Lorna Luft will be hosting an overcoming molestation coffee and chat, followed by brother Joey's benefits of blue lecture, big sis Lizha, will be sitting in the back, by the cash bar, bumming drinks and cigs.

The spirit of Lucy would be there, but Gary wouldn't let her.

Following the GG event, we will be showing Auntie Mame and MAME, with discussion thereafter.Suicide prevention representatives will be there to assist the Overwhelmed.

As, the Convention finale, Tommy and Gio will have a Disney themed Wedding in the Atrium,attended by their bridegroom's presenting their holes.

by Anonymousreply 49April 18, 2017 5:20 AM

Unfortunately, on the advice of his security team, Seth MacFarlane has canceled his scheduled appearance.

by Anonymousreply 50April 18, 2017 5:34 AM

The cocksucking semenar is not to be missed!

by Anonymousreply 51April 18, 2017 6:00 AM

Pick up your souvenir fly swatters and bunion removers in the Gift boutique.No souvenir hoodies will be sold, they're so...you know.

The official hotel, The Ramada Plaza, has graciously agreed to extend the hours of the hot tub and sauna area to 24/7. However, the lobby restrooms, will be closed for obvious reasons.

The mystique of Judy Garland Revue, has added a 2am show in the Seasons Lounge. CD's will be available.

A poppers cart will roaming the premises. Please call it Video head cleaner, or you will be asked to leave.

by Anonymousreply 52April 18, 2017 6:01 AM

Hillary Clinton will give the keynote address. Her Topic... " I TOLD YOU BITCHES SO!!"

Special appearances by celebrities from "My 600 lb. life," will be here for those into trampling.

Linda Lavin will be our guest chanteuse, she'll hum the ending of Alice, every time a session is over.

Michfest survivors, will have a fund raising booth, by the broken down VW bus out back.They've whipped up a new air freshener, "Dead fish,nutloaf and whole grain, with just a hint of castrated penis" Aerosol.

by Anonymousreply 53April 18, 2017 6:31 AM

I hear John is hosting a workshop on self esteem tomorrow. The signup sheet will be posted at the entrance.

by Anonymousreply 54April 18, 2017 6:42 AM

Where are Ivan and the "you're a cuck" bots meeting? Or are they going to be livestreamed in from Pinsk?

by Anonymousreply 55April 18, 2017 6:50 AM

Does anyone have an extra ticket for the after-hours cage fight between the Joan vs. Bette gangs? I know it's sold out, but I'm just putting it out there.

by Anonymousreply 56April 18, 2017 7:07 AM

If you find a stash of fireworks they're mine. Paws off.

by Anonymousreply 57April 18, 2017 7:47 AM

[quote]Where are Ivan and the "you're a cuck" bots meeting?

In your imagination, where they live full time.

by Anonymousreply 58April 18, 2017 7:53 AM

If you see the Christmas Mouse please kick his tiny little balls for ruining my holiday. That will show him.

by Anonymousreply 59April 18, 2017 7:57 AM

The absentee Mouse, not the Moose, ruined your holiday. If anything the Moose valiantly attempted to rescue the holiday from the ashes and despair in which the absentee Mouse had left it.

Are there any other well known DL personages there? John/PMBT, Della, Wund Girl?

by Anonymousreply 60April 18, 2017 8:03 AM

PRO TIP: Just pay for the "Once Around the Garden" at the salad bar, but then pull an unlimited "Autumn Harvest." The dizzy queen manning the joint is too timid to accuse you of anything untoward.

The few bucks you save will come in handy for buying this year's (overpriced...again) commemorative Jackie On Assistance pillbox hat, available in taupe, beige, ecru, or tan.

by Anonymousreply 61April 18, 2017 8:56 AM

RSVP for AIKC darlings. Yes, I will be in attendance. But no meth for me...ever. I got coin for my own drugs and drink, thank you very much.

Who's the DJ? I'm coming to drink and dance the night away. I hope the catering is top notch too. Weed gives me a serious case of the munchies.

by Anonymousreply 62April 18, 2017 9:11 AM

We respectfully decline the offer to partake.

by Anonymousreply 63April 18, 2017 9:35 AM

*one donut from the wall, per admission ticket

by Anonymousreply 64April 18, 2017 9:36 AM

The DataLounge Convention reserves the right to refuse entry to any person*

by Anonymousreply 65April 18, 2017 9:38 AM

The Psychopathology of AIKC: Basement Dweller or Front Yard BBQer?

by Anonymousreply 66April 18, 2017 9:41 AM

*one donut PILLOW from the wall, per admission ticket

by Anonymousreply 67April 18, 2017 9:42 AM

As a Fat womon, would I be useful on garbage detail?

by Anonymousreply 68April 18, 2017 9:43 AM

R62 AIKC, Tina Arena is flying in the event to help spin some tunes, Paris Hilton was not available.

by Anonymousreply 69April 18, 2017 9:45 AM

Did somebody say Tina?

by Anonymousreply 70April 18, 2017 9:46 AM

Is Tina your tranny name or given. As much as you obsess over it. Omg.... Maybe they'll legalize Tina for you. Is Tina effective for fug?

I'm not tampering with my good looks over Tina or ANY pipe drugs. You can have it all to yourself doo doo cobbler.

Perhaps if you were born pretty, like me, you could've realized those lofty aspirations of yours. Being attractive does seem to open a lot of doors for me. Probably the doors that were slammed in your not so pretty face.

by Anonymousreply 71April 18, 2017 10:33 AM

Oh, Ga-ayyyys! I'm having a hard time trying to decide whether I should bring the side-by-side double jogging stroller or the folding wagon. L'Exyngtynne hates sitting up straight, so she'll be more comfy in the stroller; Kon'kyrdde acts out when she's in the stroller, which is a nice way of saying she spits at passersby. LOL! Help!

Also, will I have to bring my own juice boxes, Cheerios, and GoGurts? I'm guessing they'll be provided (???), but better safe than sorry! LOL!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 72April 18, 2017 10:39 AM

For our out-of-town attendees, travel sponsor United Airlines offers a special discounted rate in our sub-economy section, located in our roomy overhead carry-on bins.

Once you arrive at the conference, be sure to visit our hospitality tent staffed by DL faves Sean Penn, Russell Crowe, and other noted hotheads!

by Anonymousreply 73April 18, 2017 11:50 AM

The DL technology roundtable starts at noon in the auditorium. Panelists include North Korean missile specialists, the engineer who designed the Verruckt raft ride at the Schlitterbahn WaterPark in Kansas City, Kansas, and DL fave Clock Boy.

by Anonymousreply 74April 18, 2017 11:58 AM

The Frau stroller hogging sidewalk symposium and yogapant fashion show will be held at unexpected times and locations throughout the run of the convention. And after it as well.

by Anonymousreply 75April 18, 2017 1:07 PM

Julie said we could sneak in without tickets disguised as waiters. I've spent three hours serving potstickers from a steam table. I hate you!

by Anonymousreply 76April 18, 2017 1:23 PM

Omg.

by Anonymousreply 77April 18, 2017 2:51 PM

Addicted in Kansas City, Poo Shoes and Jabba will be holding their lecture on How To Clear Your Cookies in the Jon Kotarjena Conference Room at 11:00.

by Anonymousreply 78April 18, 2017 2:51 PM

[quote] Omg.

Dyatlov right?

by Anonymousreply 79April 18, 2017 3:04 PM

Tommy DiDario will be hosting a men's wedding fashion show featuring next year's select choices from Men's Wearhouse Tux Rentals. 4PM in the Long Branch Room.

by Anonymousreply 80April 18, 2017 3:22 PM

[quote] the Long Branch Room.

Will there be a discussion regarding whether convention attendees prefer their long branches cut or uncut?

by Anonymousreply 81April 18, 2017 3:28 PM

But AIKC only eats cookies darling @R78. I don't clear them...ever.

I'll set up my own discussion of how to project charisma and personality to cultivate lesser talented twerps to emulate. How one can become popular without being born a Scorpio...especially if you're good looking.

by Anonymousreply 82April 18, 2017 4:39 PM

[quote]I'll set up my own discussion of how to project charisma and personality to cultivate lesser talented twerps to emulate. How one can become popular without being born a Scorpio...especially if you're good looking.

Translation: I'll be out by the dumpster, come one come all, cash accepted only.

by Anonymousreply 83April 18, 2017 5:25 PM

Uh oh. Poo Shoes was just introduced to Shitty Little Ann.

by Anonymousreply 84April 18, 2017 5:34 PM

For the first time ever...

We proudly present...

THE LAND!

THE LAND is an immersive dining experience in which you'll survive the time-honored menu of MichFest, meal by meal, in order. Rub elbows with your favorite trolls, Z-list celebrities, and cam boys as Syster interpreters surround you — sometimes chastising, sometimes belly-dancing, sometimes reenacting the Great Menstrual Hut Raccoon Raid, sometimes offering black-market cilantro (hint: don't take it!), but always educating!

Learn the post-prandial toothpaste-and-saliva-spitting etiquette that the Systers brought to Michigan! Learn the fail-safe trick to avoiding gluten cross-contamination known only to a few. Learn the top-secret method of keeping your Cherry Garcia frozen in the wilderness!

You will don Diva Cups, eat without cutlery, and discover how Nan Michiganwomyn ate her tofu scramble. Dinner includes culinary herstorian Jo Sacredword-Cronesdottir providing commentary and the herstory of The Land.

For those desiring the lighter fare of Brother Sun's Gulag, join us for Ritz crackers and water at brother/son on the mezzanine!

by Anonymousreply 85April 18, 2017 6:13 PM

R85, I'm planning to being my two little blessings, Jayden and Madyssyn. They've been dying to play at a rotating restaurant!!!

by Anonymousreply 86April 18, 2017 7:02 PM

For all of you Dataloungers planning on flying in for this event, United Airlines has a specially negotiated rate. Make sure to use the discount coupon code: BLOODYNOSE when making reservations.

by Anonymousreply 87April 18, 2017 7:05 PM

Is Jayxxsion coming too, R86?

by Anonymousreply 88April 18, 2017 7:06 PM

Sign up for the 11PM "Hell's Kitchen is Overrun With Whores" Tour: Differently-Abled van will whisk you in comfort and convenience to the heart of HK. Departing from Main Entrance.

by Anonymousreply 89April 18, 2017 7:46 PM

I loved the What's My Line? Museum they set up.

The display of silk masks (in chronological order) was fabulous.

And I finally got a chance to know what "Stopette" smelled like.

by Anonymousreply 90April 18, 2017 7:50 PM

[quote] I loved the What's My Line? Museum they set up.

Do they feature any stars of the legitimate theater?

by Anonymousreply 91April 18, 2017 7:51 PM

The special display of phone dialing utensils is ready, please feel free to stop by. Pencils are in their own special display case.

by Anonymousreply 92April 18, 2017 7:52 PM

When I was there a brawl broke out over lasagna recipes and so I left.

by Anonymousreply 93April 18, 2017 7:55 PM

"Sign In" at the "What's My Line?" Museum! First Prize for "Most Extravagantly Swirly Cursive Chalk Signature Artistry": a year's free subscription to Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 94April 18, 2017 8:01 PM

[quote]Linda Lavin will be our guest chanteuse, she'll hum the ending of Alice, every time a session is over.

Well that is worth the price of registration alone.

BTW, what time is the panel discussion | Mid Century Elegance: What we can learn from Kitty Carlisle and Arlene Francis?

by Anonymousreply 95April 18, 2017 8:07 PM

Attention, attention! For those of you who want to learn how to coordinate your caftan/earring endeavors, please sign up by lifting your caftan and murmuring "momma like!"

by Anonymousreply 96April 18, 2017 8:14 PM

A taxidermy class will be offered so that we can learn how to preserve the head of the Christmas Moose.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 97April 18, 2017 8:26 PM

That's a waste of time, R97. His head is already preserved in gin. Do look for a stuffed Mouse as there have been some vicious rumors floating around.

by Anonymousreply 98April 18, 2017 9:03 PM

Stop deadspeciesing the dog, r98.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 99April 18, 2017 10:40 PM

Oh, this is big! Viki Sleestack is going to make an appearance. She'll bring her six Emmys and will pose for photos with them and with fans. $250 per photo.

The appearance is scheduled for Sub-basement 2. Sleestack is bringing her son with her and wants him to feel comfortable at the convention center.

by Anonymousreply 100April 18, 2017 11:00 PM

Will there be a combined memorial for the Christmas Moose and Christmas Mouse?

by Anonymousreply 101April 18, 2017 11:02 PM

R100, where will Brendad Ickson be?

by Anonymousreply 102April 18, 2017 11:07 PM

The Martha Stewart "I'm telling your mother you're a whore!" Civics lecture is sold out.

Those wishing to attend the Sly Stalone "Don't Look At Me" domestic labor relations teleconference should arrive thirty minutes early. Only one phone will be available. Space is very limited.

by Anonymousreply 103April 18, 2017 11:28 PM

R87 but passengers must remember: only one carry-on caftan per customer!

by Anonymousreply 104April 18, 2017 11:29 PM

r102 I understand Brendad will be holding a seminar about making videos to show off one's house. Afterward, she's doing a special session about PROJECTING YOUR VOICE.

by Anonymousreply 105April 18, 2017 11:31 PM

[quote] R101: Will there be a combined memorial for the Christmas Moose and Christmas Mouse?

The moose* is fine, he sends his love! I spent the day with him and am sunburnt! More later!

*he's not affiliated with the Mouse, who was a no-show, as I understand it.

by Anonymousreply 106April 18, 2017 11:36 PM

Attention, convention visitors: join us at 3 pm in the Pepsi Pavilion for a special 3-D IMAX presentation of Joan Crawford's "Torch Song." Pick up your free 3-D glasses (designed by Edith Head) at the cash bar, where you'll also find the booze and the boys.

by Anonymousreply 107April 18, 2017 11:40 PM

Will there be any discussion of or presentation regarding Crawford's "Trog"?

And designed by Edith Head? As if!

by Anonymousreply 108April 18, 2017 11:44 PM

Last day is tomorrow!

by Anonymousreply 109April 18, 2017 11:52 PM

Did you see Henry Cavill? I swooned. Did you swoon?

by Anonymousreply 110April 18, 2017 11:53 PM

Tonight's presentation of Glen Scarpelli's "DAMMIT, JULIE! A One-Man Musical Revue Celebrating the Life and Career of the Incomparable Bonnie Franklin" has been cancelled over concerns about offending the trans community. Those who wish to return their souvenir red mushroom hats for a full refund may do so at the Randolph Mantooth memorabilia booth in the convention hall.

by Anonymousreply 111April 19, 2017 12:05 AM

Has security been notified of John/PMBT's appearance? He could be a threat. He could be easier to identify in that he could not be mistaken for an inferior Thai or Filipino.

Oh what the hell, just give security a pic of the Virginia Tech killer.

by Anonymousreply 112April 19, 2017 12:12 AM

Oops. I've already given security a picture of Stockport's Filipino angel of death, Victorino Chua.

I hope John won't be upset.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 113April 19, 2017 12:24 AM

I've been camped out here for HOURS waiting for Joyce Bulifant to autograph copies of her new autobiography "I Coulda Been Carol Brady." Oh wait, is that her?? OMG it is! IT IS!!!! JOYCE!!!! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!

by Anonymousreply 114April 19, 2017 12:26 AM

[quote] R47: Will the play about DL be previewed at the convention?

Yes, dear, it's tonight! There's so much going on! But it's tonight. It's the abbreviated version. Not the 3-day artsy version. I'm going to it. I hope I see people I know!

There's also another whist game for serious gamblers. I don't get that at all, but still invitation only. Randolf is cleaning up.

by Anonymousreply 115April 19, 2017 12:33 AM

During today's keynote presentation, Mrs. Patsy Ramsey (formerly of Boulder, Colorado) will share insights on the importance of finding your bliss by eliminating "toxic people" from your life. Forever. No questions asked.

by Anonymousreply 116April 19, 2017 12:42 AM

Guest star Caitlyn will entertain in the lounge with backups from Glitter and Fantasia. That follows her afternoon book signings of her purchased biography.

Special showings of her new vagina will take place in the women's room. Only lesbians and other trans get to see. No men and paparazzi allowed!

by Anonymousreply 117April 19, 2017 12:52 AM

R117, will there be another opportunity to catch Caitlyn's interpretation of "The Vagina Monologues?" I missed it--you see, I had signed up for a breakout session called "Let's pretend we're the TV show HR Pufnstuf" sponsored by the Actor's Studio, and Mr. Strasberg kept me overtime to work on my Witcheepoo.

by Anonymousreply 118April 19, 2017 1:09 AM

Damnit r111! You forgot the free potted plants!

by Anonymousreply 119April 19, 2017 1:13 AM

And speaking of Fantasia, be sure to attend her creative writing course: Qjhldka JKLjoiws Bls;wowqo idsnas in 10 EZ stepz

by Anonymousreply 120April 19, 2017 1:22 AM

The ghost of Bea Arthur just took a dump in the foyer.

Bea Benaderet, is having a little get together in her junior suite on the 14th floor.

The how to be a bossy bottom seminar is sold out!

by Anonymousreply 121April 19, 2017 1:36 AM

How many lesbians have shown up with canes?

by Anonymousreply 122April 19, 2017 2:02 AM

For the DL Fraus, they're offering a a special creative writing workshop called "Someone Criticized Your Child? How to Write 'An Open Letter To...' that Inspires Social Media Rage and Indignation!"

The workshop will be led by the Pulitzer Prize winning author of the letter to the person who yelled at her child on a plane.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 123April 19, 2017 2:03 AM

That wasn't ME!

It was ANNE!

SHITTY LITTLE ANNE!

by Anonymousreply 124April 19, 2017 2:04 AM

The Data Lounge comfort-animal day-camp has lost yet another pomm!

Daffyd swears the blind libertarian amputee from Philly left his monitor lizard there just so it could feed!

by Anonymousreply 125April 19, 2017 2:11 AM

Tickets still available for the How To Get Rid of Gay Voice course offered by my friend Julie Thursday 1pm in the Fank You Lounge.

by Anonymousreply 126April 19, 2017 2:19 AM

Join Sandy Hill-Pittman tomorrow afternoon for a belated Easter Egg Hunt on our very special Mount Everest Simulation Tour! Make your ascent up a perilous slope to reach The Valley of the Dolls! Sandy will serve refreshments courtesy of Dean & Deluca during the screening of the film.

by Anonymousreply 127April 19, 2017 2:26 AM

Arlene would like to remind anyone planning on being smarmy, what happened to poor, poor Dorothy.

A Mamie Eisenhower etiquette seminar and fashion show, has been added. Faerie toast will be served.

by Anonymousreply 128April 19, 2017 2:34 AM

Come decorate Mrs. Potato Heads with Rumer near the arts and crafts station!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 129April 19, 2017 2:34 AM

Anyone have a link to Dataloungeland?

by Anonymousreply 130April 19, 2017 2:38 AM

The bitch baker hates gays. The fucking ordered cake sent is shaped like Kellyanne's pussy. And it smells like rotting mackerel.

by Anonymousreply 131April 19, 2017 2:45 AM

r131 The only baker who would attend the event was Piecunt. We apologize.

by Anonymousreply 132April 19, 2017 2:46 AM

[quote] Anyone have a link to Dataloungeland?

Yes. I think this is the second version.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 133April 19, 2017 2:53 AM

Thank you r133

You want a blowjob?

by Anonymousreply 134April 19, 2017 2:55 AM

[quote] You want a blowjob?

Not from you.

by Anonymousreply 135April 19, 2017 2:56 AM

Your loss

by Anonymousreply 136April 19, 2017 3:00 AM

A straight white male who was last seen in our vicinity yesterday morning has gone missing. Whichever one of you whores is keeping him, let him go before the cops shut us down. You bitches NEVER learn, do you?

by Anonymousreply 137April 19, 2017 3:07 AM

I know nothing, r137.

Has anyone seen my sternal saw?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 138April 19, 2017 3:10 AM

Show Special...Tomorrow Only

Free cuddle sessions with Christopher Ammon.

Each session will last exactly five minutes. If you linger, you will be billed at his hourly rate of $80.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 139April 19, 2017 3:15 AM

The Javits Center?

The DL Convention would barely fill a ballroom at the Manhattan Econo Lodge.

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by Anonymousreply 140April 19, 2017 3:18 AM

OMG the Convention approved two Friends of Dorothy stands!!!!!

One must go.

Which will it be? Cast your vote!

Gale or Zbornak?

by Anonymousreply 141April 19, 2017 3:21 AM

This evening's entertainment will be Shepard Smith and Don Lemmon in "Love Letters"

by Anonymousreply 142April 19, 2017 3:24 AM

Notice Distributed To All Millennials Registering:

Having sex with anyone eneberated and unconscious and without permission is rape! Got it?

by Anonymousreply 143April 19, 2017 3:29 AM

Tommy and Gio will be signing photos at 3pm in booth 2028 ; level 3.

No personalizations, but prepare to be dazzled!

by Anonymousreply 144April 19, 2017 3:55 AM

The restrooms are no longer labeled male or female.

They're now labeled 'M' and 'G'.

by Anonymousreply 145April 19, 2017 4:06 AM

At sunset, a sobering moment as we release balloons in memorial of Adam Kendall Jr., a baby who lost in his life in The Great Grease Fire of 2006, after a crazy blind lady tried using him to bust through a window.

by Anonymousreply 146April 19, 2017 4:18 AM

R85 Our attorneys will be in touch.

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by Anonymousreply 147April 19, 2017 4:24 AM

Any lez who needs one can buy a limited edition Adam Kendall Jr. Baby Battering Ram™ cane in the Womyn's Womb Market and Nutloaf Emporium.

No laughter was emitted during production.

by Anonymousreply 148April 19, 2017 4:29 AM

The early morning fitness session with Richard Simmons has been cancelled.

Not to worry. He's fine. He sends his love.

by Anonymousreply 149April 19, 2017 4:30 AM

It's true! The Theatre Gossip Symposium "Moose Murders: Holland Taylor Was Actually Better Than Eve Arden" will have a surprise appearance appearance by Christmas Moose! He will confirm Arden couldn't remember her lines!

by Anonymousreply 150April 19, 2017 4:32 AM

Say, what does a guy have to do to get his parking validated at Javits?

by Anonymousreply 151April 19, 2017 4:36 AM

I can validate your parking, r151. Come sit next to me.

by Anonymousreply 152April 19, 2017 4:44 AM

The one symposium I attended in the Magnolia Room was unbearable.

One woman, wearing no undergarments and with the most horrid crotch odor I've ever experienced, kept crossing and uncrossing her legs...

At first, I thought it was some kind of Sarin or other chemical weapons attack.

You can't even imagine...some of the attendants were taken out by the EMTs, but the lucky ones were already wearing that oxygen masks...

by Anonymousreply 153April 19, 2017 4:57 AM

Attention Lesbians - spider-walking is strictly prohibited on the show floor at all times.

by Anonymousreply 154April 19, 2017 5:34 AM

I suspect that my friend Danny is still in NYC and would plan to attend the convention. If you see him, please tell him to call his folks in Ohio. It's been almost nine years since they last heard from him and they are worried sick. He will be the one rolling a small battered suitcase behind him.

by Anonymousreply 155April 19, 2017 5:44 AM

Danny's fine; he sends his love.

by Anonymousreply 156April 19, 2017 6:00 AM

Tinfoil hats and vintage David Icke videos (VHS or DVD!) will be available in the Exhibition Hall at booth Number 33. Don't miss our sneak preview of the new documentary entitled Dyatlov: Watchers, Yeti, or Xenu? We still have a few copies of Alien Autopsy: Director's Cut available for you collectors out there!

by Anonymousreply 157April 19, 2017 6:27 AM

It was great to see the "Prints for Hanging" kiosk featuring giclee reproductions of Kandinsky and Rothko.

by Anonymousreply 158April 19, 2017 6:31 AM

33 dead in explosion at Queer Event!

Grease fire and flammable hairdos blamed.

by Anonymousreply 159April 19, 2017 7:20 AM

The 10:30am coffee break in the Let's Pretend Atrium is sponsored by High Point Coffee. Lauren Bacall will make her way through the crowd inquiring if participants can "Taste the Flavah!"

For some reason, Lisa Beamer will also be present, distributing Let's Roll Cinnamon Roll samples. They will not be tasteful.

by Anonymousreply 160April 19, 2017 7:48 AM

Miss Miriam Highbrow-Snowcroft will be offering lessons in the art of elocution for a select few in booth 21B.

Miss Snowcroft asks her pupils to arrive on time and versed in the following elementary phrase:

"Hark! I hear the cannons roar. Is is the King approaching?"

by Anonymousreply 161April 19, 2017 8:06 AM

"Hawk. I hear duh cannons raw. Is it da King approacingink?"

When are auditions?

by Anonymousreply 162April 19, 2017 8:12 AM

ATTENTION! PLEASE NOTE THESE LAST MINUTE CHANGES TO THE SCHEDULE

1) "PENCIL DIALING FOR BEGINNERS" (ROTARY PHONES WILL BE PROVIDED; BRING YOUR OWN PENCIL; MILLENNIAL PARTICIPANTS MUST TAKE "ROTARY PHONE USAGE 101" BEFORE REGISTERING FOR THIS ADVANCED CLASS)

2) "MARY POPPINS: THE MOST PERFECT FILM EVER!!" WILL HAVE A VERY STRICT SECURITY CLEARANCE IN PLACE. ALL BAGS SEARCHED. PLEASE NOTE: CLEARING YOUR COOKIES WILL NOT GAIN YOU RE-ENTRY INTO THIS EVENT!!

3) ELDERLY PARTICIPANTS IN THE "GOD, I HATE HAMILTON SO MUCH!!!" SEMINAR WILL NEED A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH FROM THEIR CARDIOLOGISTS BEFORE BEING ADMITTED. LAST YEAR'S HIGH RATE OF HEART ATTACKS/TEETH GNASHINGS/MOUTH FOAMINGS AT THE "FUCK, I HATE LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA'S SMUG FACE SO MUCH!!!" EVENT RESULTED IN OUR INSURERS INSISTING ON THIS PRECAUTION.

4) " THE TERRY MILLER FASHION PARADE" SPONSORED BY MR. TURK OF PALM SPRINGS, ADAM & STEVE SEX TOYS, AND INSTAGRAM IS AT CAPACITY. SIGN UP FOR THE WAITING LIST AT RAY'S BONDAGE SHOP LOCATED IN THE EAST VILLAGE.

5) THE HERBERT ROSS TROLL'S "HISTORY OF HOLLYWOOD PART VI: EVEN MORE STORIES ABOUT THE CASTING OF 'STEEL MAGNOLIAS' " HAS BEEN MOVED OFF SITE TO AN OLD ABANDONED BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO IN HOBOKEN.

by Anonymousreply 163April 19, 2017 8:54 AM

LOL, R136...But be prepared for the snarky Millennials to ask Eldergays (in a condescending voice) to explain the rotary phone during the Q & A, in spite of your prerequisite course requirement.

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by Anonymousreply 164April 19, 2017 10:17 AM

The ElderGay "Guess My Age, I Look Ten Years Younger, Don't I?" Contest will take place in the Jared Leto Room

All entrants must provide two forms of proof to confirm that they were born in 1967 or earlier. (Even though no one would think they were really that old.)

by Anonymousreply 165April 19, 2017 10:27 AM

Can I come? Is there any free food?

by Anonymousreply 166April 19, 2017 11:50 AM

"Milo, your proposal to conduct a two hour workshop on 'Politics, Poppers, and Penis Envy' did not satisfy, at this time, the criteria defined by the Steering Commitee. Thank you for allowing us to review your submission".

by Anonymousreply 167April 19, 2017 12:29 PM

A model of Miss Lindsey's parlor will be centerpiece among the selective displays.

by Anonymousreply 168April 19, 2017 12:34 PM

A Coupon offering a 100% discount on a Douche will waiting for Cheryl. With a big name tag on the Douche.

by Anonymousreply 169April 19, 2017 12:35 PM

Blacked out room for all the Trolls will be clearly marked, "Welcome to DL VIP Lounge!"

Once inside Trolls be trolled for 2 hours, filling their heads with useless trolling information sending them down various DL garden paths till their heads burst.

by Anonymousreply 170April 19, 2017 12:40 PM

I've been working the Safe Space booth for hours, and not one DLer has stopped by to pick up a free pen and lanyard.

WHY? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU REJECTING MY LANYARDS! I FEEL UNSAFE FROM YOUR REJECTION!

Wait...wait...what is going on? Is that a man dressed as Judy Garland? OMG IT IS!! THAT IS SO OFFENSIVE! EEEK

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by Anonymousreply 171April 19, 2017 12:45 PM

A special performance by JonBenet.

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by Anonymousreply 172April 19, 2017 12:50 PM

Season tickets are now available for DL's newest and most popular theme park, Frauschwitz.

Due to unusually high demand, there will be a strict limit of 2 seasonal passes per purchaser.

by Anonymousreply 173April 19, 2017 12:55 PM

Last minute schedule change alert!!

Due to popular demand the multi-media extravaganza "Shaving and Presenting Hole" will now be held in the Grand Ballroom. Come one, come all! Open seating.

The previously announced slide show "The Lush Bush" will now be presented in The Lanai. (Located just past the Golden Years Coffee Shoppe on Memory Lane. Fully accessible, adequate walker and cane storage will be provided.)

by Anonymousreply 174April 19, 2017 1:04 PM

Join us at 4:00 pm in the Dorothy Kilgallen Pavilion for special screenings of "The Baby," "Grease 2," and Jerry Lewis's lost masterpiece, "The Day the Clown Cried."

Following a discussion of the films' cultural and historical significance, the DL Film Institue will host a special ceremony featuring Ruth Roman, Adrian Zmed, and Jerry himself FedExing VHS copies of their respective movies to the DL Library of Congress for eternal preservation.

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by Anonymousreply 175April 19, 2017 1:05 PM

The Old-Time Tintype booth where you put on a costume and pose for a black and white photo has a waiting list for Svetlana costumes with the Western Electric Christmas party background. If you want to be any of the other Western Electric characters, we can easily work you in.

by Anonymousreply 176April 19, 2017 1:05 PM

Alla Nazimova's Sewing Circle has been moved to an undisclosed location. If you don't know the location, please assume you're not invited.

by Anonymousreply 177April 19, 2017 1:10 PM

The workshop "Cats are from Mars, humans are from Venus" will start in five minutes.

by Anonymousreply 178April 19, 2017 1:18 PM

The Pussy Viewing Gallery has closed due to poor attendance.

by Anonymousreply 179April 19, 2017 2:38 PM

The Hosting Etiquette panel will take place in Flyover Room C. Panelists will include Kevin (who does not run a bed and breakfast), his anonymous trick, an eldergay with a homemade glory hole, and, representing the New York Social Diary, a tasteful stack of books.

by Anonymousreply 180April 19, 2017 4:00 PM

When they asked me to "Sign in please!" at the "What's My Line ?" Museum... they all started in with whistles and cat-calls. I felt like Gina Lollobrigida!

by Anonymousreply 181April 19, 2017 4:01 PM

Due to an overwhelming number of entrants, the annual "Flames From Space" contest will now take place in the Sean Hayes Room.

Judges will be 5 random food service vendors and taxi drivers found somewhere near the convention.

by Anonymousreply 182April 19, 2017 4:20 PM

I'm running the Canned Frosting food truck just off the main concourse right next to the Aaron Hernandez Memorial Bonfire and Weenie Roast.

by Anonymousreply 183April 19, 2017 4:28 PM

The line to see "It's WATER, Helen!" is out the door!

by Anonymousreply 184April 19, 2017 5:06 PM

Is the convention pretty much all cosplay? Or at least 10 Years Younger Come As You Aren't dress code? I'm interested as I REALLY look 10 if not 20 years younger. As long as I don't have to present hole

by Anonymousreply 185April 19, 2017 5:40 PM

After todays events there will be a size meat gathering no one is admitted with less than 9 inches.

by Anonymousreply 186April 19, 2017 5:58 PM

I'm still VERY much alive, dammit!

by Anonymousreply 187April 19, 2017 6:12 PM

The rumours have been flying since the first day when Randolph gave the Punctuation Symposium that there was something not quite right with the Evening Punctuationist. It was unlike him to pass-up that event. He seemed fine on the Acela from Boston. What's up with that? Anyone seen him? He hasn't been playing whist the whole time, has he?

by Anonymousreply 188April 19, 2017 6:58 PM

The shrine to the Gay4Pay pron stars of Sean Cody is now open for respectful viewings in Conference Room C, just off the main concourse. In order to keep the expected long lines moving , pilgrims are requested to stay no more than 10 minutes. No weeping or wailing, please.

by Anonymousreply 189April 19, 2017 7:12 PM

[quote]No weeping or wailing, please.

Oh that's nothing. Have you been over to the Robert Conrad Shrine?

by Anonymousreply 190April 19, 2017 7:54 PM

I flew in from Louisiana today. I was really looking forward to showing off my crisp white socks at the convention. When I arrived at the Javier Center, I was told that there is no event listed for DL or Datlounge. Are you sure it's at the Javits?

by Anonymousreply 191April 19, 2017 8:22 PM

R191,did you ask Morry? He's a practical joker. Just ask someone else. Keep asking new people until they tell you where to go.

Hurry, it's the last full day!

by Anonymousreply 192April 19, 2017 8:30 PM

Be sure to sample some of the frozen treats at the Ice Screams of Kitty Genovese booth.

Delish.

by Anonymousreply 193April 19, 2017 8:47 PM

Please join us at 5PM today in the Christine Jorgensen Chamber to hear Vice President Michael "Father" Pence present a motivational speech entitled "Better Off Without Them: Why Your Penis and Testicles Are Preventing You From Leading A God-Fearing Life."

Vice President Pence will discuss his belief that there are no homosexuals, just men and women born into the wrong body, and explain how a quick and simple surgery can turn you into someone whose sexual attraction fits the gender of their physical body.

As a special one-time-only offer, all entrants into the "Flames From Space" competition and the "Hillary Clinton Is My Personal Diva" storytelling competition will receive a 25% discount on the price of this special and emotionally freeing surgery.

And one lucky new heterosexual will win a day of shopping with female superstar Miss Caitlyn Jenner

by Anonymousreply 194April 19, 2017 9:05 PM

Svetlana will be serving up humor and frozen drinks from cold maw of SPACE!

by Anonymousreply 195April 19, 2017 9:22 PM

I was out all day yesterday with the Christmas Moose (not affiliated with the Christmas Mouse). I got quite a sunburn, though he was fine.

He wanted to go to the Central Park Zoo, since "he's in the business" he said, but I think he just wanted to visit the animals and children. He was mobbed for a while. Some of the children confused him with Big Bird. Are all NYC children that dumb? He doesn't look like a yellow chicken.

He did walk them them through the zoo animals in alphabetical order en espanol and en Françes. People were amazed to see a bi-lingual Moose; but I think they are all around us, we just don't know they're bi.

The Moose said that he likes the way Manhattan smells, you know that big proboscis of his is notoriously sensitive; anyway, so I said "What are you, a barn animal?" So, he's still not speaking to me. We're traveling together tomorrow, too, ugh!

by Anonymousreply 196April 19, 2017 9:51 PM

Lousiania, don't let them give you the short shrift! You stay right in the meat of it!

by Anonymousreply 197April 19, 2017 10:39 PM

Oh, dear, I think I see the problem. Are you at the Javier Center, Louisiana? Yeah, that's the wrong place. It's Javit's Center. Think bagel, not taco.

by Anonymousreply 198April 19, 2017 10:42 PM

I'm at the Javits- my iPhone autocorrected to Javier ... Siri knows I have a thing for Latinos..

Still looking for you guys... I did notice that the Pakistanis left hands smell weird.

by Anonymousreply 199April 19, 2017 10:45 PM

Why are the floors so sticky?

by Anonymousreply 200April 19, 2017 10:51 PM

More dataloungers are on the way, but their green mode of transportation is taking longer than they thought.

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by Anonymousreply 201April 19, 2017 10:57 PM

Was the Let's Be workshop canceled? I can't find it.

by Anonymousreply 202April 19, 2017 11:07 PM

OMG so many hot Mongolians!

by Anonymousreply 203April 19, 2017 11:11 PM

[quote] He's a practical joker.

I did not like Heath Ledger in his role as "Joker".

by Anonymousreply 204April 19, 2017 11:58 PM

Join us again this evening for another round of "That's Not Funny!" the game where a gay male stand-up comics will perform for a panel of six lesbian activists (two people of color, two genderqueer folk and one who self-identifies as fat) who will explain to them why each and every one of their jokes is not funny.

Vegan muffins and non-alcoholic cider will be served.

by Anonymousreply 205April 20, 2017 12:12 AM

Attention, convention visitors!

If you are the Eldergay owner of the pink 1959 Ford Edsel, license plate BOTTOM1, parked in front of the convention center, please move your vehicle immediately. You are blocking the entrance to the Pinky Tuscadero Arena where the Weinermobile Demolition Derby is scheduled to begin in 30 minutes. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

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by Anonymousreply 206April 20, 2017 12:14 AM

Fuck! Spaced out and took one wrong turn on the 17th floor - suddenly I'm dragged into an economy suite where Julie Taymor is giving her "lecture" on "Spiderman: Turn On By Dark" to a bowl of ravioli.

She still looks like shit.

by Anonymousreply 207April 20, 2017 12:22 AM

In a special appearance, Dr. Phil will lead a support group for "Gay Men Who Gave Up Their Lives To Support Elderly Parents Because Their Asshole Breeder Siblings Won't... And Their Parents STILL Like The Breeders Better."

by Anonymousreply 208April 20, 2017 12:22 AM

The annual restaging of The Hunger Games will take place, as always on Roosevelt Island. Each of the following groups will need a offer a Tribute:

* Jon Kortajarena Fan Fraus

* Colton Haynes Fan Boys

* Disney Princes Gio and The Other One Fan Boys

* Starters of "Let's Be" Threads

* AIKC

* Soap Opera Queens

* Broadway Queens

* Starters of "DLers, Tell Me About Living In" threads

* Aaron Rodgers Thread Participants

* Eldergays Who Have Confessed That Everyone Thinks They Look Ten Years Younger

* OPs of "I'm Eating [insert unhealthily overcaloric dessert here] Tonight Bitches. Jealous?" threads

Come join us and see who will be the last one alive!!!

by Anonymousreply 209April 20, 2017 12:36 AM

I just got carded at the cash bar!

by Anonymousreply 210April 20, 2017 12:45 AM

Hey, are you guys staying for the Miss Datalounge 2017 pageant? It's always the climax (tee hee!) of this conference. I hear it's going to be co-hosted by DL Faves Susan Richardson and Clock Boy.

I think this will be the year that Cheryl finally defeats Poo Shoes to win it all! Of course, there'll be some "stiff" (giggles) competition from the Seth Macfarland Troll. Darfur Orphan always stumbles in the talent competition, but he ALWAYS win the swimsuit segment. What IS his secret to staying slim??

by Anonymousreply 211April 20, 2017 12:45 AM

So far, R210 is in the lead...

by Anonymousreply 212April 20, 2017 12:48 AM

Elaborate Scenario Threads: the Fundamentals of Writing an Effective, Response Magnet EST.

Meeting Room 3 B

Our Experts Panel will be moderated by the OPs of the classic "I'm In Love with My Father-in-Law" and "I Just Shot a Four Foot Iguana by My Backyard Pool."

Refreshments (Della's Saltines with a Pat O'Butter) will be served.

by Anonymousreply 213April 20, 2017 12:52 AM

The historically accurate facsimile of The Cleveland Street Brothel in Rooms 14. 15. and 16 has ceased its its re-enactments after a visit from NYPD. Since the rooms themselves are still available for viewing, no refunds will be given.

by Anonymousreply 214April 20, 2017 12:58 AM

I've never heard so much cursing in one place in my entire life as I just did at the Miyoshi Umeki Memorial Lookalike Contest.

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by Anonymousreply 215April 20, 2017 1:11 AM

Attention, conventioneers: The "Cardio for the Enfeebled" class has just sold out.

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by Anonymousreply 216April 20, 2017 1:16 AM

R215, I heard a lot of bad language on the streets of NYC. Sad!

by Anonymousreply 217April 20, 2017 1:18 AM

Please join deposed Congressman Aaron Schock for his "Decorate It Like Downton!" seminar in the Marcus Bachmann Pavilion.

by Anonymousreply 218April 20, 2017 1:25 AM

Pliz to be mekking soopriz appertinence! Vun free peekchr untly, pliz!

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by Anonymousreply 219April 20, 2017 1:26 AM

For those of you who dedicate so much time and creativity to home and hearth, we offer the following:

*The legendary Joanna Barnes will be on-hand for a very special session on classic and timeless techniques for decorating with books.

*The board of the Lasagna Advocacy Society will moderate several town hall meetings in an attempt to heal the sharp divisions in our community regarding what constitutes a real lasagna in today's global community.

*Please join us for an evening of TedXDL, featuring the inspirational story of a gay office worker who has survived over 200 potlucks.

by Anonymousreply 220April 20, 2017 1:46 AM

I think the addition of a stylishly rustic "Womyn's Wigwam" conveniently located under the High Line within rave-bass distance of the Javits Center offers a perfect nod to the appropriate and important contributions of our sisters to the DL culture and ethique.

And it's downwind!

by Anonymousreply 221April 20, 2017 1:54 AM

[quote] a gay office worker who has survived over 200 potlucks.

It's a soupluck not a potluck.

by Anonymousreply 222April 20, 2017 1:56 AM

I was surprised at how many "naturally shed toenails" they had for sale at Lizha's Merch Pagoda. She must have been storing them up for years, and they were selling like crazy.

The other vendors were green with envy.

by Anonymousreply 223April 20, 2017 1:57 AM

Does anyone know why the Soaps events and exhibits were set up in Weehawken? They keep saying that it's "right down the Lincoln Tunnel" but it just feels like we're not welcome at the DL, for some reason.

by Anonymousreply 224April 20, 2017 2:00 AM

I appreciate the political and social issues focus of many of the displays.

I made a large donation at the Gunt Control booth.

by Anonymousreply 225April 20, 2017 2:02 AM

You are reminded that a 15% discount is once again being offered by many of our vendors for their display merchandise, which may be retrieved from DL Vendor's Hall at the end of the event Saturday afternoon, from 5 to 7 pm. You will need to show your receipts for your items. Clorox Wipes will of course be available as we appreciate some of you may wish to "wear" your merchandise home. Thanks one and all for your attendance and patronage. See you in 2018!

by Anonymousreply 226April 20, 2017 2:21 AM

I am not spending $18.50 at the juice bar in the concessions area unless they tell me what kind of juice it is.

by Anonymousreply 227April 20, 2017 2:27 AM

And the Bernie-or-Bust vegan turkey meatballs with fair-trade world-fusion dipping sauce are such a pathetic reaching out to the millennials. Who of course are nowhere to be seen.

by Anonymousreply 228April 20, 2017 2:31 AM

r224. The soaps event is not in Weehawken. It's in Peapack. Just keep driving west until you're in the middle of nowhere.

But once you're there, it'll be an exciting time! Sally Sussman is offering an (Abbott) breakfast seminar on crafting compelling storylines and must-see episodes. Dena Higley is rumored to be joining her, so get in line early!!

Ellen Wheeler is leading a seminar about shooting on a budget. Chris Goutman is offering tips on keeping fans, cast and crew happy. Ken Corday is unveiling his latest plan to Save the Soaps. Plus, I hear Ron Carlivati will offer a seminar on getting into Twitter Wars with fans and critics. To cap off the day, there will be a special tribute to Brian Frons, honoring his many contributions to the soap genre.

After the autograph sessions (Guy Wilson will be there!!!!!), some fans are planning to hold a seance in the woods hoping to get in touch with Irna Phillips, Bill Bell, Agnes Nixon and Doug Marland. Please note that this seance is not a DL sanctioned event. Venture into the woods at your own risk. If this turns into a Blair (Crammer) Witch Project, DL is not responsible.

by Anonymousreply 229April 20, 2017 2:31 AM

Best seminar of the Day was definitely the I Want to Be Underwhelmed one. Can't wait for Day 2 of it!

by Anonymousreply 230April 20, 2017 2:34 AM

It's Juicero juice, r227, and I'm afraid you've misread the price; it's $185.00.

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by Anonymousreply 231April 20, 2017 2:44 AM

Did y'all notice that keynote speaker Barbara Bush's talk about how to out cunt the cuntiest cunt was standing room only?

Tootles, I'm off to the Norwegian Catholics meet and greet hosted by Deborah Lacey

by Anonymousreply 232April 20, 2017 2:45 AM

[quote] Guy Wilson will be there!!!!!

Strudel!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 233April 20, 2017 2:47 AM

A gypsy cab at Penn Station wanted $135 for a trip that cost me $40 by cab, including tip.

by Anonymousreply 234April 20, 2017 3:06 AM

i will be in the Datalounge Royalty Room.

by Anonymousreply 235April 20, 2017 3:11 AM

ATTENTION: Those guests visiting the basement tea room lounge

The handicap stall is reserved for those gentlemen who can' or won't maintain an erection. This is a designated no-facial zone.

Comfort-animal daycare is available next door for a nominal fee.

by Anonymousreply 236April 20, 2017 3:23 AM

Has anyone else been hissed at? I thought I was hearing things at first but now I'm positive that I'm being hissed at.

by Anonymousreply 237April 20, 2017 3:26 AM

The "Boundaries: How to Clearly State Them" lecture has been cancelled due to overwhelming disagreement as to length, time, location and lecturer.

by Anonymousreply 238April 20, 2017 3:30 AM

A special smoking section for gargoyle wannabes has be set up on the slanted roof adjacent to the conference center.

by Anonymousreply 239April 20, 2017 3:34 AM

In honor of DL FAV Donald Trump, there will be a Donald Trump hair judging contest. The one DLer who can shape their hair to look most like our lovable President's glorious mane, wins a year's supply of orange spray tan.

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by Anonymousreply 240April 20, 2017 3:35 AM

In honor of DL FAV Donald Trump, there will be a Donald Trump hair judging contest. The one DLer who can shape their hair to look most like our lovable President's glorious mane, wins a year's supply of orange spray tan.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 241April 20, 2017 3:36 AM

Whose that fat drag queen waddling around looking like Kim Davis? Not cute at all.

by Anonymousreply 242April 20, 2017 3:37 AM

R242, the "DL Wandering Proper English Minstrels" are heading to you in the cheap seats to sing you a song about the proper use of "who's," you illiterate cow.

And they'll expect a tip!

by Anonymousreply 243April 20, 2017 3:41 AM

Something strange happened. Two posts. Sorry --just ignore.

by Anonymousreply 244April 20, 2017 3:44 AM

R229, my husband and I are NOT traveling any farther than where we can see the skyscrapers, even for the soaps sessions, which are the only reason we planned this trip to Noo Yark City in the first place.

As the only two out gay men in West Fargopolis, we can't afford the risk of being killed by zombies or whatever else is roving around in a place called Peapack. If it were Fudgepack we might reconsider, but we're not into your big-city water sports. Our water is too hard and full of minerals and breaks the skin if it travels more than two feet.

I love the program you laid out, though. Damn. Do you know if they're doing any remote feeds to the main convention site? We'd pay for it. Plus I heard there's going to be a special "Secret Storm" retrospective that sounds perfect for our tastes. But we have to get to the bus station by 4 on Saturday.

Is Tony G. still able to sign autographs? Thanks!

by Anonymousreply 245April 20, 2017 3:48 AM

R232, people showed up just because there was a rumor that she was going to wear open-toed shoes, and after her 'tard granddaughter told everyone last week she is down to eight toes because "that's what happens when you get older" people were hoping another souvenir would go rolling off the dais.

I heard her Depends were not quite fresh, though. So I'm glad I missed it/her/them.

by Anonymousreply 246April 20, 2017 3:50 AM

Former Trump aide, Carter Page, has shown up with a jar with two flesh looking objects inside. He claims they are Caitlyn's testicles from surgery in January.

It has got to be a con job, but a biker dyke from Indiana has made a tempting offer.

by Anonymousreply 247April 20, 2017 3:51 AM

In case anyone doesn't know, the guy in the "Have Sex with Jani Lane" booth is just a look-alike. Although he looks more like Jani than Jani did before that guy on the DL "did him" in.

by Anonymousreply 248April 20, 2017 3:51 AM

Anyone else go to the Saline Injection lecture? I heard they were giving out free spurts.

by Anonymousreply 249April 20, 2017 3:53 AM

Was that Muriel or Janet Jackson in the black burqa? Either way - FAT!

by Anonymousreply 250April 20, 2017 3:54 AM

R243. No tip for you, prisspot; but will render you a free golden shower and a dump in front of the Devine nostalgia exhibit. No touching, and you may thank me afterwards. Bring your own towel and baby wipes.

by Anonymousreply 251April 20, 2017 4:09 AM

One of this year's featured speakers, Miss Lindsey Graham, will address the topic of work/life balance in "Warhawk by day; debutante by night." Through stirring rhetoric, insightful wisdom, and folksy tales, the senatrix will imbue all with the talent to instill fear and demand budget for a sixth-generation jet fighter while subtly letting a certain general know your dance card has yet to be filled for the evening.

by Anonymousreply 252April 20, 2017 4:30 AM

The vat of spilled tea is now ready in the Blink and You'll Miss the Stupid Cliche Conference Room. All those who are thirsty are invited to drink until they drown.

by Anonymousreply 253April 20, 2017 4:44 AM

I think they are extending the event for another day, due to popular demand!

Alas, I have to leave on tomorrow's 1:03 Acela heading north. I'm trying to arrange a whist game for the trip, any takers?

by Anonymousreply 254April 20, 2017 4:48 AM

The "Which of Janet's Noses is Closest to Yours" interactive display is ready for use in the lower level ballroom. Please note that the display may close for updates at any given time considering that the source material is undergoing constant change.

by Anonymousreply 255April 20, 2017 4:57 AM

Craziest thing... I thought I saw that Joey Communale boy at the "How to Successfully Be the Third in a Homosexual Threesome with a Sugar Daddy and His Younger Drug Addict Boyfriend Who He Legally Adopted " session. But then I realized that he couldn't be Joey... he's not gay!

by Anonymousreply 256April 20, 2017 5:06 AM

[quote]The other vendors were green with envy.

So were the toenails.

by Anonymousreply 257April 20, 2017 6:09 AM

r224/ r245 Soaps tend to be the red headed stepchild that DL wants to basically ignore. I sincerely doubt you'll get any DL officials to pay for the live feed from Peapack to the Convention Center. And even if they did agree, Peapack is so remote, cell phones don't work there, so satellite feeds would be difficult.

I suggest that you and your husband just suck it up and come to Peapack. You will be perfectly safe. We do have some zombie wranglers here to protect attendees -- Frank Valentini and Greg Meng. Plus Melody Thomas Scott and her husband Ed Scott are going to stand on werewolf watch for the entire event.

I understand Lillian Hayman is offering taxi service to Peapack, departing from the parking garage across from the convention center. Just wave your pink reservation slip and she'll pull right up for you.

Many events have been added to the schedule. During a special cocktail reception Mary Alice Dwyer-Dobbin will be on hand to accept the Wizened Old Man Award. Meanwhile, Elaine Princi will conduct a town-hall meeting about her soap career (Please Note, an exceptionally large contingent of Kate Winograd fans has been camped out since Sunday waiting for this once-in-a-lifetime event, so space for last minute walk-ins will likely be limited).

New seminars include Kathy Glass explaining the ins and outs of Q ratings and Robin Strasser leading a special seminar on over-the-top acting. Megan McTavish will offer tips on headwriting and building loyalty among your writing staff. Chuck Pratt is also offering a special writing seminar about honoring a show's history and legacy (an extra fee is required to attend).

Finally, Jill Farren Phelps is leading a multi-part retrospective examining the befores and afters of each of the six shows she helmed. (Please Note, since this seminar will last most of the day, Melissa Reeves has offered to provide a box lunch from Chick fil-A so attendees don't miss a second).

by Anonymousreply 258April 20, 2017 7:23 AM

R251 (aka R242) continues her illiteracy by misspelling "Divine."

Honestly. Don't the authorities review the attendees' credentials before permitting entrance?

She should at least have been issued a brown badge so the VIPs and special guests would know to avoid her. Or she could have attended the "Basic English Skills for DL Use" pre-session, offered to Auxiliary members of the DL. Corky from "Life Goes On" presented!

by Anonymousreply 259April 20, 2017 1:47 PM

Thank you, R258! You obviously represent the best of the DL Soaps contingent and help explain how 137 of the forbidden threats are currently appearing and heading towards their 600-post limit, with each post running towards the word limit! SO generous with your time and knowledge! SO arch about arcane matters unremembered even by the actors and producers!

We SHALL head for Peapack. Yes. We want to meet you. Do we need to schedule lodging for a night on the way between NYC and our peapicking Peapack destination? And do you know when the doors at St. Brigid there are open so I can attend Confession after actually seeing dreamy Doug Davidson in person?

Oh! Something just happened "down there!"

by Anonymousreply 260April 20, 2017 1:57 PM

Sean Spicer to teach "proper etiquette" on social media. This master of diplomacy will impart his wisdom, helpful hints, industry secrets on how to navigate tough social media situations while "always keeping your cool."

DL is thankful for Mr. Spicer's availability and looks forward to an enlightening session.

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by Anonymousreply 261April 20, 2017 2:20 PM

r260 The doors to the church are always open. Father Eric Brady will be on hand to hear Confessions at St. Brigid throughout the convention. He was surely bless your soul and give you penance. Just don't let him drink any of the wine.

The Doug Davidson event has been sold out for quite some time. However, we have added a Schlong-Off between Grant Aleksander and Jake Silberman that might satisfy you.

There's also a Mumble-Off planned where we hope Maurice Benard and Eric Braeden will attend. We've contacted them repeatedly but never can understand their answers, so we are unable to confirm their attendance. As a backup, Drake Hogestyn and Ronn Moss have agreed to be on standby to offer acting tips for prospective actors.

As for lodging, the eight rooms at Peapack's motel have been booked for months. However, you likely wouldn't have any need for that. Just bring your sleeping bag since you'll want to camp out in front of the VFW Club waiting to get a good seat for the Diva-Off scheduled for the last day. Dee Dee Halls and Sue Loochi are both confirmed as are Kim Zimmer, Victoria Rowell, Laura Wright, Michelle Stafford, Susan Seaforth Hayes, Heather Tom and Liz Hubbard. We're hoping Viki Sleestack will also join in on those festivities with them, but she's having trouble shipping her six Emmys to the event (seems Fed Ex can't guarantee delivery to Peapack and Viki doesn't trust the US Postal Service; maybe DHL will be able to accomplish the task) . And as a special guest, we'll have Julianne Moore. Seriously.

Please note that the Peapack Quickee Mart will extend its hours beyond its normal 8 p.m. closing time to midnight to accommodate the influx of conventioneers. Steve Burton will have a special booth there selling Monavie juice and Freddie Smith will offer Nerium face cream. If you like the products, they will gladly sign you up for a distribution deal.

by Anonymousreply 262April 20, 2017 2:54 PM

If memory serves UPS used to be headquartered in Peapack before it moved to the south. I can't imagine they don't have a brown truck or two available.

by Anonymousreply 263April 20, 2017 3:12 PM

Oops sorry they were in Greenwich. Memory doesn't serve.

by Anonymousreply 264April 20, 2017 3:14 PM

Henry Cavill is otherwise engaged but Braeden Baade is still available, as are Rusty Joyner, William Levy Martinez, Hernan Drago, and a bronze mold of Kerry McNally's feet!

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by Anonymousreply 265April 20, 2017 3:18 PM

You guys don't make it easy for a girl like me to make an appearance!!!!!

More ramps plz :)

So glad technology means I can join you all!!!!

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by Anonymousreply 266April 20, 2017 3:27 PM

Did I miss the slam poetry stylings of Miss Chrysanthemum Tran?

by Anonymousreply 267April 20, 2017 3:36 PM

I'm the gaggle of fruits who keep going table to group to group trying to change the conversation to Trump. Ruining everybody's time.

by Anonymousreply 268April 20, 2017 3:52 PM

I'm the Erika Slezak Prune Seminar. FREE SAMPLES.

by Anonymousreply 269April 20, 2017 3:54 PM

Anonymous in Kansas City is officially on my bad side.

I guess aggressive narcissism, boasting and grandstanding is now "charm" and "charisma."

Maybe your trashy mama never taught you that bragging is bad manners.

If you're so hot and enviable, post your pics, your name and occupation!

Why be Anonymous when you're everybody's dream come true?

by Anonymousreply 270April 20, 2017 3:57 PM

No doubt about it, DLers will be having a jolly good time!

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by Anonymousreply 271April 20, 2017 4:46 PM

R270 doesn't know what "the dozens" are.

by Anonymousreply 272April 20, 2017 4:47 PM

R259 Frustrated about her erectile dysfunction starting 30 years ago.

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by Anonymousreply 273April 20, 2017 4:53 PM

R259 Give it up.

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by Anonymousreply 274April 20, 2017 4:59 PM

[quote]The board of the Lasagna Advocacy Society will moderate several town hall meetings in an attempt to heal the sharp divisions in our community regarding what constitutes a real lasagna in today's global community.

Boy, was THAT a disaster. Folks in Antifa getups brandishing rolls of Jimmy Dean.

by Anonymousreply 275April 20, 2017 5:59 PM

In the small conference room a shipment of extra large caftans will be sold, one to a customer.

by Anonymousreply 276April 20, 2017 6:02 PM

Colby Keller here, your featured dancer and shot boy for the evening! Would you like to try our new cocktail, the Burn It Down? Mango, vodka, Truvada, a whisper of Tina, and a generous splash of counterproductive ideological purity!

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by Anonymousreply 277April 20, 2017 6:08 PM

Bump

by Anonymousreply 278April 20, 2017 6:38 PM

R278=moron.

by Anonymousreply 279April 20, 2017 6:54 PM

Jeez--- some of you queens can turn ANYTHING into a soap thread.

by Anonymousreply 280April 20, 2017 6:54 PM

Those who have had their gay cards revoked will not be admitted.

by Anonymousreply 281April 20, 2017 6:55 PM

Why, thank you young man. This is the first time I've been carded at a bar since Monty Clift and I snuck into Toots Shor's restaurant during a break in filming of "The Heiress."

Then again, it seems everyone here looks much younger than they are...

by Anonymousreply 282April 20, 2017 7:04 PM

I want to say "Fank-You", to everyone who attended this year's event and made it such a success! I had so much fun! I love New York! I'm leaving, on a jet train, don't know when I'll be back again. However, probably next year. I'll leave the moping-up to you malingerers.

Louisiana, are you still wandering around outside the Javit's Center? Poor dear. I so wanted to see your socks, too. I wonder if the Lebanon, OH Railway Bandit and Big Brother of the Year ever made it?

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by Anonymousreply 283April 20, 2017 7:06 PM

Does anyone know how the Murder Mystery event was? I haven't heard from Erna nor AIKS lately, so it must have been a success. A surprise double homicide is always a crowd-pleaser. Nothing rattles these native New Yorkers, though. They're used to Moose Murders, so they've seen it all.

by Anonymousreply 284April 20, 2017 7:22 PM

Your attention please:

The restrooms outside the Grand Ballroom have been closed yet again. Please, conventioneers, if you have a prolapsed hole take the appropriate precautions before coming to the Javits Center. The onsite staff cannot be expected to fulfill all your needs during the busy convention.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

by Anonymousreply 285April 20, 2017 7:31 PM

Your feedback is appreciated:

Was it too much of a conflict to schedule the DL Convention to start on Easter Monday? Did you West Coast Queens have time to sober-up after your Palm Springs White Party palooza? Assuming you sober-up, I mean.

Questionnaire to be continued...

by Anonymousreply 286April 20, 2017 7:35 PM

I'll be there collecting for Hillary's 2020 Super-PAC! Bring your checkbooks girls.

by Anonymousreply 287April 20, 2017 7:57 PM

The Evening Punctuationist has confided in me, as we are fast friends going all the way back to last Sunday, that the Punctuation Symposium was Randolf's first flight from the nest, as it were. That's why the E.P. didn't give the presentation himself. There were Senior Punctuationists from all over the US and Europe, as well as Jerusalem, Istanbul, Sydney, there was an inferior one from Thailand, and also one from South Africa - all there for the evaluation and grading. It's a very big deal. Did you know that Hogwart's was modeled after the Occidental Society of Punctuationist Professionals? Anyway, I'm sure Randolf's dying to hear how he did, the poor thing. Almost no one passes the first time!

by Anonymousreply 288April 20, 2017 8:08 PM

Will there be a booth to sell your used textbooks?

by Anonymousreply 289April 20, 2017 8:28 PM

289 posts and no mention of Brandon offering "free" workout sessions in the Richard Simmons Memorial Gym?

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by Anonymousreply 290April 20, 2017 8:50 PM

I thought the Slip N Slide on the second mezzanine level was a fun idea until I saw it was just a long "wipe your feet" carpet (outside the Joan Crawford Garden Tips session) until Cheryl had an "oopsie" standing on it.

by Anonymousreply 291April 20, 2017 10:40 PM

The Christmas Moose became pen pals with a dromedary from the Central Park Zoo. That's so sweet! Don't tell Momma! I don't know if he's the Ramadan Dromedary or the Ramada Inn Dromedary or whatever, but we live in sensitive times, so mums the word!

Any other gossip? Who slept with whom? Don't disappoint, dish!

by Anonymousreply 292April 20, 2017 11:22 PM

Louisiana, did you stay in the meat of it? I got an instant crush on you. There was a guy in my Dad's Brooklyn neighborhood named "White Socks Charlie". (No offense, AIKC.) I wonder if he's still around? He'd be about 100 today. Is that you, Louisiana?

by Anonymousreply 293April 20, 2017 11:32 PM

R290, that link is not working for me.

by Anonymousreply 294April 20, 2017 11:41 PM

r283, Thanks for asking, but I lost my nerve and chickened out. I realized that, because my bandana would indicate that I'm of the opinion that sometimes one drains one's pasta in a colander.....and sometimes not...the two rival gangs would unite and make a sacrifice of me. As much a I enjoy bringing people together.....I don't enjoy it that much.

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by Anonymousreply 295April 20, 2017 11:43 PM

Oh well, Ohio, there's always next year! I hear that next year, it's in Jerusalem!

by Anonymousreply 296April 20, 2017 11:59 PM

R296, Jerusalem you say? Why, maybe Datalounge can bring about a rapprochement and, thus......WORLD PEACE!

by Anonymousreply 297April 21, 2017 12:42 AM

The convention was more than I could have hoped for. However, somewhere along the way I seemed to have lost my dignity. If found, please drop it in the nearest mailbox.

Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 298April 21, 2017 12:56 AM

[quote]289 posts and no mention of Brandon offering "free" workout sessions in the Richard Simmons Memorial Gym?

I'm sorry, but the Richard Simmons Memorial Gym is reserved EXCLUSIVELY for "Sweatin' WITH the Oldies" sessions. This was by majority vote of Datalounge members.

by Anonymousreply 299April 21, 2017 1:14 AM

Be sure to take advantage of the Rainbow Express shuttle bus service to your hotel. Trips run on the hour. Your host, Denise, is accepting gratuities in the form of cash, grass or ass.

by Anonymousreply 300April 21, 2017 2:11 AM

Did anyone buy the three-day Dyatlov Pass? Was it worth it?

by Anonymousreply 301April 21, 2017 2:18 AM

No activities will be scheduled while RuPaul's Drag Race is on TV.

The exception will be the lesbian tug of war tournament.

by Anonymousreply 302April 21, 2017 3:08 AM

I bought a bread pudding baking dish and a Red Dragon fondue pot at the Girls Gotta' Eat booth, and later noticed that my credit card was charged twice. When I called the number on the receipt to have it corrected, some bitch named Ginny started laughing at me like a maniac and then hung up. WTF??

by Anonymousreply 303April 21, 2017 3:15 AM

[quote] Did anyone buy the three-day Dyatlov Pass? Was it worth it?

It was so worth it. I'd go again and again and again.

by Anonymousreply 304April 21, 2017 3:22 AM

Dyatlov?

PASS!

by Anonymousreply 305April 21, 2017 4:26 AM

Someone REALLY fucked up by having a Coke machine next to the Joan Crawford exhibit. Heads will roll!

by Anonymousreply 306April 21, 2017 6:43 AM

I loved the "So Young, In Memoriam" exhibit was quite satisfying.

QUITE satisfying.

by Anonymousreply 307April 21, 2017 1:16 PM

What's this Diet Love everyone's talking about at the Convention?

You gurls crazy.

YOU GOTTA LOVE BIG BITCHES!

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by Anonymousreply 308April 21, 2017 3:46 PM

Anyone sending thank you notes?

by Anonymousreply 309April 21, 2017 10:05 PM

Don't be ridiculous r309, if everyone did that we'd have nothing to complain about after the convention. If we don't send Thank You notes we can bitch and moan that anyone born after 1933 was raised completely without manners and is an ungrateful brat. Much more satisfying.

by Anonymousreply 310April 21, 2017 10:22 PM

I am the very drunk, but very good looking guy you all took advantage of.

by Anonymousreply 311April 21, 2017 10:23 PM

Did they ever find the source of that horrible smell? I still can't keep anything down and it's been four days.

by Anonymousreply 312April 21, 2017 10:28 PM

You twit r311 no one took advantage of you. You passed out after your third piña coladas and were trampled on by 300 gay men when someone yelled "One of the Hemsworth brothers just took his shirt off in the main hall" That's why you feel so rough, you dim average looking lush.

by Anonymousreply 313April 21, 2017 10:36 PM

It's not rape-rape, R311, you just got trampled.

by Anonymousreply 314April 21, 2017 10:42 PM

R313 = the aging, bitter queen that no one looked when he lifted his caftan and presented his hole, which is in fact, the source of the smell that R312 complained about.

by Anonymousreply 315April 21, 2017 10:42 PM

The Christmas Moose put four nail salons out of business when he had his hoofs done. He does look fabulous now though, I must say.

by Anonymousreply 316April 21, 2017 10:45 PM

[quote] It's a shame, really. About the salons, I mean

How about the talons?

by Anonymousreply 317April 21, 2017 10:50 PM

R317, I did go to the zoo with the Moose but did not take a survey. I'm sure they're fine.

by Anonymousreply 318April 21, 2017 10:55 PM

I just realized that I did not see the Christmas Mouse or Thanksgiving Otter anywhere. WTF? I pay my $0.75 each month, I expect to be entertained.

by Anonymousreply 319April 21, 2017 10:58 PM

Dead, R319, well the Christmas Mouse is anyway. Poor thing was murdered by the Christmas Moose, who is currently on death row.

by Anonymousreply 320April 21, 2017 11:14 PM

IT'S FRIDAY! IT'S TIME FOR DRINKIE POOS!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 321April 21, 2017 11:16 PM

Well, stay fat then, R321.

by Anonymousreply 322April 21, 2017 11:17 PM

I hope that next year there will be a better selection of authors discussing and autographing their books. I really did not need Barbara Thorndkyke's latest potboiler, "So Clear the Sky Over Hialeah." And Posey McGlynn trying to peddle "The Murders in the Rue McClanahan" was just tacky.

by Anonymousreply 323April 21, 2017 11:30 PM

[quote] R320: Dead, [R319], well the Christmas Mouse is anyway. Poor thing was murdered by the Christmas Moose, who is currently on death row.

The Mouse may be dead, RIP, but I was with the Christmas Moose in NYC the whole time, practically, R320. He is NOT on Death Row! You should have attended the workshop on "Affiliations of DL Mascots and Their Nemeses". While the Moose is not affilliated with the Mouse, he is affiliated with his nemesis, Moosifer. It's Moosifer who is spreading this FAKE NEWS! He wants to take his place!

If you don't get this straight soon, I might have to start calling you douchefer.

by Anonymousreply 324April 21, 2017 11:33 PM

It's rumored that the Moose also killed Darryl, the backyard squirrel. Kill the Moose!!

by Anonymousreply 325April 21, 2017 11:34 PM

[quote] "The Murders in the Rue McClanahan"

Which syllable do the French stress in "McClanahan". Which do the British?

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by Anonymousreply 326April 21, 2017 11:36 PM

If the Moose goes to prison will he commit moosisied in a manner similar to Aaron Hernandez?

by Anonymousreply 327April 21, 2017 11:37 PM

The Thanksgiving Otter is alive and well you suppurating gashes.

As a matter of fact, he is sitting two stools down from me at the bar in the lodge in Glacier NP.

by Anonymousreply 328April 21, 2017 11:37 PM

No, the Moose is in solitary confinement on suicide watch.

by Anonymousreply 329April 21, 2017 11:39 PM

I should have known when the rep at the "M" counter was selling exclusive autographed photos of "G" that once you took it out of the "privacy wrapper" it would be one of G as the aged Albert Nobbs signed with a paw print.

by Anonymousreply 330April 22, 2017 12:46 AM

You're all so tedious. One and on about the same old DL celebs.

At not one fucking word about the Hanukah Honey Badger, who sat there for four days without so much as a stop-by.

by Anonymousreply 331April 22, 2017 12:48 AM

[quote] R325: It's rumored that the Moose also killed Darryl, the backyard squirrel. Kill the Moose!!

I knew Darryl, the backyard squirrel. Darryl was a friend of mine. R325, you're no friend of Darryl!!

Leave the Moose alone, or else!

by Anonymousreply 332April 22, 2017 12:50 AM

Miss Lindsey will be there, but in disguise.

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by Anonymousreply 333April 22, 2017 1:15 AM

This was after a few cocktails.

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by Anonymousreply 334April 22, 2017 3:55 AM

Charlene will be starting her act in the restaurant/lounge area. Her live version of Never Been to Me is to die for.

by Anonymousreply 335April 22, 2017 3:58 AM

What's left of the Moose.

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by Anonymousreply 336April 22, 2017 4:05 AM

That's not very nice, R336.

by Anonymousreply 337April 22, 2017 4:10 AM

OMG! I think I just saw Alex Trebek!

by Anonymousreply 338April 22, 2017 4:12 AM

Oh Hanukah Honey Bear! Be honest, you were approached but your rep said he will only be speaking to Olympic Decathlete Winning Beavers.

by Anonymousreply 339April 22, 2017 4:30 AM

Apologies Hanukah Honey BADGER!

I've got bear on the brain, I don't know why.

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by Anonymousreply 340April 22, 2017 4:34 AM

RIP Christmas Moose

Long live Christmas Llama!

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by Anonymousreply 341April 22, 2017 4:37 AM

OMG

by Anonymousreply 342April 22, 2017 4:48 AM

"Books" weren't the only thing that slut Posey McGlynn was sellin'!

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by Anonymousreply 343April 22, 2017 4:50 AM

Sorry. The Golden Girls Symposium is our first sellout event. You can put your name on the waiting list for cancellations.

by Anonymousreply 344April 22, 2017 4:59 AM

I'm gonna cut a bitch if I can't get into the Golden Girls symposium, R344.

by Anonymousreply 345April 22, 2017 5:08 AM

There's a way around the "no outside alcohol" policy.

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by Anonymousreply 346April 22, 2017 6:11 AM

Kathy Glass's Q Rating Symposium has been cancelled. She needed some time to film a commercial.

by Anonymousreply 347April 22, 2017 6:13 AM

The DL Convention MatchMaking service is ready!

We'll help you connect with your "Marry Me" poster from way back when.

LOVE CAN HAPPEN YOU MISERABLE BITCHES!

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by Anonymousreply 348April 22, 2017 7:16 AM

So sorry that I'm late to the DL convention festivities. I was dragged off of my United Airlines flight from KC after my mussy queefed in R270's fug face for talking about my momma. I'd had dairy and the other passengers complained vociferously.

My KC Chiefs booth is temporarily closed due to a grease fire that accidentally started as I was preparing chicken wings for the Darfur orphan.

by Anonymousreply 349April 22, 2017 8:01 AM

Did anyone stop by Josh (authenticated) Kilmer-Purcell's book table? I heard he was signing remainder copies of his tomes, but you had to buy a bar of goat milk soap from his desolate farm product line.

$24? No way.

by Anonymousreply 350April 22, 2017 8:14 AM

You'll never guess where they're holding Bai Ling's sessions!!!!

by Anonymousreply 351April 22, 2017 3:14 PM

Anyone of you eldergays for a little afternoon delight or will it be Midnight at the oasis?

by Anonymousreply 352April 22, 2017 4:31 PM

0/10. This thread sucks. Remember when Data Lounge had real wit?

by Anonymousreply 353April 22, 2017 4:33 PM

R353 couldn't get a ticket.

by Anonymousreply 354April 22, 2017 4:34 PM

Attention, convention attendees: Sunflower Girl thin mint cookies are back in stock. Stop by the Trans Booth for your free sample!

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by Anonymousreply 355April 22, 2017 5:16 PM

Reichen Lehmkuhl is giving his speech about handling the pain when your 15 minutes is over.

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by Anonymousreply 356April 22, 2017 5:24 PM

"I'm demonstrating on behalf of the issue DLers care most about: Bring back the old format!!"

"No more pop up ads about curved penises!"

"We'll give you hell, Mur-I-el!"

The crowd in front of the Jacob Javits Center has become an unruly, angry mob. Caftans are being torn to shreds, and wigs are being pulled off! Oh, the humanity!

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by Anonymousreply 357April 22, 2017 5:30 PM

Does anyone know who the masked wrestler in the bizarre $cio "Cream of Wheat Wrestling Match for Body Thetans" tent outside the convention center was? He had big hips and smelled like delusion.

It's disgusting how these fringe groups attach themselves to our beautiful DL. Posers!

by Anonymousreply 358April 22, 2017 6:08 PM

Were any conventioneers hurt in that McDonald's grease fire on the news? I don't know why those kinds of conflagrations seem to follow DLers around.

And don't say karma, you assholes.

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by Anonymousreply 359April 22, 2017 6:11 PM

I looked all over for a place to buy one of Tommy DiDario's signature neckties, but I was told they're sold exclusively at Dollar Tree now.

by Anonymousreply 360April 22, 2017 6:28 PM

I am still sitting here in East Orange waiting for my fucking ride to the fucking convention so I can sell some fucking merch (aka signed glitter sneakers and my very own brand of blunt wrappers).

I need this shit? Fuck.

by Anonymousreply 361April 22, 2017 6:33 PM

Two surprised guest stars showed up for the Golden Girls Symposium. They were not pleased when they found that it was sold out.

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by Anonymousreply 362April 22, 2017 6:44 PM

Those floral arrangements that Jeff Leatham stuffed in all our hotel rooms are HIDEOUS. Who hired him?!

by Anonymousreply 363April 22, 2017 6:52 PM

I was surprised that the proportion of frau-and-young-cunt attendees was only 82% of total attendance.

So glad I pushed the one with the giant baby carriage down the escalator with her screaming twins.

Intrusive skanks.

by Anonymousreply 364April 22, 2017 7:52 PM

OMG, R364! That's strictly prohibited!

by Anonymousreply 365April 22, 2017 10:03 PM

[quote] R357: The crowd in front of the Jacob Javits Center has become an unruly, angry mob. Caftans are being torn to shreds, and wigs are being pulled off! Oh, the huge manatee!

I knew the police were called a few times. What else brought the men in blue to the convention? Aside from the Tim Horton's booth, I mean.

by Anonymousreply 366April 22, 2017 10:24 PM

[quote] What else brought the men in blue to the convention?

There was so much toe tapping in the basement men's room it sounded like a revival of 42nd Street!

by Anonymousreply 367April 22, 2017 10:28 PM

Are they really moving next year's convention to Llanview?

by Anonymousreply 368April 23, 2017 3:03 AM

The make colored happen guy is starting his Sins of Your White Privilege seminar in room B1 behind the kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 369April 23, 2017 3:08 AM

The Canned Frosting food truck was a great success! When you guys and gals decide to go off Keto you go hard.

by Anonymousreply 370April 23, 2017 4:22 AM

[quote] The make colored happen guy

He is also known as the Black Athlete Poster.

by Anonymousreply 371April 23, 2017 4:37 AM

Next year, they will be having live cooking demonstrations from Ina Garten, Ree Drummond and Sandra Lee.

by Anonymousreply 372April 23, 2017 6:15 AM

Is Room B1 (site of the "make colored happen" session) also where they've scheduled the "Misogyny = Homophobia = AIDS = Death" seminar?

I have something special I want to throw into that troll's eyes.

by Anonymousreply 373April 23, 2017 3:12 PM

Ina Garten will be holding a cooking demonstration in the "En Plein Air" space on the upper balcony level.

by Anonymousreply 374April 23, 2017 3:23 PM

In that case, R374, I hope the Barehooved Cuntessa has had her tetanus shots and has her PEP handy if she's planning to go foot-commando on THAT surface.

by Anonymousreply 375April 23, 2017 3:49 PM

At tonight's performance, the center cubicle toilet will be played by Mrs Patrick Campbell.

by Anonymousreply 376April 23, 2017 3:51 PM

I hope Ree brings Ladd and Cowboy Josh! Maybe we can coax them into giving lapdances!

by Anonymousreply 377April 23, 2017 6:16 PM

R350, did Brent ever show up?

He's still the cute one, sorry Josh.

by Anonymousreply 378April 23, 2017 7:20 PM

R378: Brent had a tantrum -- something about the pattern in convention center carpeting -- flipped their booth's table and stormed off in tears, leaving Josh with an "Oh, well . . . " expression on his face.

Josh did not miss a beat: He continued selling everything off the floor.

by Anonymousreply 379April 23, 2017 7:35 PM

I am stupid jsoh//

by Anonymousreply 380April 23, 2017 7:45 PM

How was the "Hillary: Wouldya Hit That?" symposium?

by Anonymousreply 381April 23, 2017 9:22 PM

For the ladies, special midnight screening of the biopic "Hillary's Eyebrows" will happen tonight!

Bring your female razors (that we know you all pay too much for) to throw at the screen each time a new pant suit appears!

by Anonymousreply 382April 24, 2017 5:17 AM

I received the goodie bag in the mail today that Muriel apparently sent out to thank all the guests. I got a green Weirdo, and I was hoping for a red one. Anyone wanna trade?

by Anonymousreply 383April 25, 2017 3:04 AM

I've been trying to find a way from Staten Island to Manhattan for the last eight days. I don't know how I got here except the man on the boat said that for $150 he would deliver me to right where the Javits Center was and it was such a long day getting to La Guardia from Jackson, Mississippi that I thought going by sea would be faster. It Staten Island in the United States? The people talk so funny and there are so many ugly dogs running the streets. Is this Cuba? Where am I? I was only coming for the Golden Girls Props Auction because I wanted to see if I could get Lelia Kenzle's autograph. I'm so scared and cold and hungry. Please help. My friend Irna left the dock this morning to look for assistance and I haven't seen her since. Oh, God. I think they're Yankees!

by Anonymousreply 384April 25, 2017 3:12 AM

The Final Four for the Troll Madness are now in place.

In the East, it's John PMBT vs AIKC, and in the West, it's Erna vs Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Final will be at the Barclay Center on Sunday night, but also viewable via Facebook live stream

by Anonymousreply 385April 25, 2017 3:17 AM

While I shall be rooting for AIKC, my money's on Erna(hates fish.)

by Anonymousreply 386April 25, 2017 5:20 AM

Sistyrs of Convention, I have the announcement you've all been waiting for: the entrant of differentiated honor in our Heartsong Share!

I type to you from my hearth, with sleepy cats purring and a rough-hewn earthen bowl of mugwort tea cradled in my good hand. After much meditation, the Board of Egalitarian Discernment has left the yurt carrying the Heartsong we feel best exemplifies our shared experience at Convention! As always, we are available to discourse this choice with you and perhaps reopen voting should that be desired. Blessed be!

[bold]ONE-BREASTED WOMON[/bold]

One-breasted womon

Pendulous tattooed bud

Single Cleistocactus blossom

Undulating swirls of red and pink

Spin around life bringer

Milk springer

Like the sacred triple spiral

Brought forth from the sharp sting of ph*llic spines and areoles

I, her suckling

Rebirthed in her flame

I am sucking

Releasing my Pain

My Chain

Poisoned brain

Ordain

Me

Ordained

Rebirthed in her flame

I, Aodh!

I, Gaia Caecilia!

I, Hestia!

I, Sekhmet!

I, Aibheaog!

I, Itzpapalotl!

I, Mahuika!

I, Brigid!

I am life-bringer

Rebirthing in my flame

I bring forth Beltane

The fur of my loins

Catches womb dewdrops

Fur dreamcatcher

Drips

Fire and Honey

Flows sacred nectar

Drink, one-breasted womon

That I may rebirth you

In my flame

Your flame

We flame

THE FLAME

Drink from me

One-breasted womon

I, your mothyr

I, your daughtyr

I, your sistyr

I, You

by Anonymousreply 387April 25, 2017 9:15 AM

^^ Bravo, I am transported. One can hear the buzzing flies.

by Anonymousreply 388April 25, 2017 2:06 PM

Has anybody checked in on Denny? I saw him wheeling his suitcase up 34th towards Broadway, but no sightings since then. I'm getting worried.

by Anonymousreply 389April 25, 2017 2:32 PM

Denny's fine, he sends his love.

by Anonymousreply 390April 25, 2017 2:36 PM

R389, did anyone check the couches in the convention center?

by Anonymousreply 391April 25, 2017 2:36 PM

Faaaaaaaaack -- every year it's the same thing!! The official DL Convention t-shirts in sizes XXL and up SOLD OUT.

by Anonymousreply 392April 25, 2017 2:37 PM

R387, marry me, and share this jar of honey from my bedside table.

by Anonymousreply 393April 25, 2017 2:38 PM

Plenty of Smalls and Mediums left R392

I was working the booth for a while, guys kept coming by, trying on the Mediums and shreiking "the sizing is all wrong! I think this must be the frau shirt! I don't know who this is supposed to fit--I've always been a medium"

I just smile and hand them the XXXL

by Anonymousreply 394April 25, 2017 2:48 PM

Conventional sizing is so wrong, so shame based. May I suggest one size for all -- size mumu?

by Anonymousreply 395April 25, 2017 2:50 PM

r392 I found some small small convention t-shirts in the back alley. Looks like they had been used for cum rags.

by Anonymousreply 396April 26, 2017 10:26 AM

Join the SMALL WONDER full cast for an autograph signing session!

It will be held in the U. Say Plato Room, you take the main lift down to the basement, down through the car park, out the emergency exit door, down the alley, past the cardboard box housing community, take your first left, immediately on your right is a back door, knock three times, pay the man a couple of dimes and he will show you to your booth.

They will be there all day, no rush.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 397April 27, 2017 7:48 AM

^ Are the 'Other Worldly Gingers" confined to one area or are they allowed to roam free?

by Anonymousreply 398April 28, 2017 2:27 AM

Yes, they are Free Range Rangers.

by Anonymousreply 399April 28, 2017 4:36 AM

Free Range Rangas!

by Anonymousreply 400April 28, 2017 4:36 AM

AIKC will be having a pot, wine, and white line sampling exhibit tonight between the hours of midnight and 3 am.

Correction: the wine part of the exhibit has just been cancelled.

by Anonymousreply 401April 28, 2017 11:36 AM

R401 Great! If Anonny will be there, so will I!

by Anonymousreply 402April 29, 2017 12:13 AM
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