Dorothy Parker

What Bravo show is she on?

One of those Real Housewives shows, r1.

Wasn't Dot on Real Housewives of Miami?

That franchise was a bit of a flop, which is probably why nobody has heard of Dorothy Parker.

I loved it when she flipped the table and ripped off some bitch's weave.

R4 Dorothy could turn the tables on ANYONE.

All of the erudite Dataloungers left the lounge years ago, only to be replaced by gaylings spreading lies about Justin Timberlake's sexuality.

I could generally take or leave Parker's short stories, but her commentary has to be among the sharpest ever written in the English language. Read the "Constant Reader" reviews - every last word is perfect, and they are hilarious to this day.

And yes, it is bizarre how someone keeps insisting that Justin Timberlake of all people is gay.

This thread runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

What was her tag line again?

My favorite: when asked to use "horticulture" in a sentence replied, "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

I'm quite fond of her poem Penelope.

"Big Blonde" is a helluva short story, R7, but otherwise, I agree.

AS is "The Telephone Call."

Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp;

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren’t lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live.

Advice for the terminally depressed

r12 - Have you no love for Horsie?

Because he's not doing much these days. Only Fran Lebowitz has had less new output in the last 35 years.

Interview

The ladies men admire, I’ve heard, Would shudder at a wicked word. Their candle gives a single light; They’d rather stay at home at night. They do not keep awake till three, Nor read erotic poetry. They never sanction the impure, Nor recognize an overture. They shrink from powders and from paints ... So far, I’ve had no complaints.

Once more, with line breaks:

Interview

The ladies men admire, I’ve heard, Would shudder at a wicked word. Their candle gives a single light; They’d rather stay at home at night. They do not keep awake till three, Nor read erotic poetry. They never sanction the impure, Nor recognize an overture. They shrink from powders and from paints ... So far, I’ve had no complaints.

If you can read this, you're standing too close.

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style.

The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

My personal fave:

“By the time you swear you’re his,

Shivering and sighing,

And he vows his passion is

Infinite, undying -

Lady, make a note of this:

One of you is lying."

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible.

This was terrible with raisins in it."

She was married to a homosexual gentleman.

R25, Fess was gay?

"Tonstant Weader fwowed up."

Dorothy Parker “I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.”

that alone should earn her immortality

I always liked that she and Lillian Hellman were BFFs.

It is recorded that Mrs. Parker and a snooty debutante were both going in to supper at a party: the debutante made elaborate way, saying sweetly “Age before beauty, Mrs. Parker.” “And pearls before swine,” said Mrs. Parker, sweeping in.

Her actual epitaph for her tomb was: EXCUSE MY DUST.

You can see it here:

one quote should resonate with DL:

"you can't teach an old dogma new tricks"

though we try here ceaselessly every day

[quote] If you want to know what God thought of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Dorothy Parker

She still makes me chuckle,even when I think of Donald Trump.

What fresh hell can this be?

that's the question i've been asking every day since november when i open the morning paper, and there always is one

I'm glad that the posters here appreciate "The Big Blonde" because Louis Auchincloss, whose short stories were as good as his novels, once praised Parker in person (I think.) "Blonde" is a study of manners; it matters to those characters if they, as divorced women, are addressed as Mrs. with their first name or their with their ex-husbands'. But they were (many of them) used to be supported by men, as was Parker's Hazel Morse, and with the Depression on the horizon--the story was written in 1929--they may soon find themselves in short street.

Back when I'd read everything I could find by an author I liked, I read a shit-ton of Parker's stuff.

One should never do that. She's best appreciated in smaller doses, particularly her reviews and sharp poetry. But her short stories tend to be depressing as hell.

Who goes Nazi is one of the sharpest and most apt commentaries. Still applies, too.

[quote] How come she's not talked about more on DL?

Because we are too busy talking about Dorothy Gale, Dorothy Zbornak, and very occasionally Dorothy Loudon.

R30. It wasn't a debutante, it was Clare Booth Luce.