Relationship Sex (GAY MEN ONLY)

Of course it does, gay people aren't immune from the same issues that have always plagued straight marriages. The sex life starts dying off over time.

I have been so much hornier for my partners in years five, seven and 10 than I ever was in year one. I don't think that's the way it works for most men, though -- it certainly wasn't true of my bfs.

Stop with all the porn!

Three ways while on vacation does wonders.

r4 especially when you get crabs

sex haters hate.

Have you tried role playing games?

The only SEX we have is when we go to a hotel.

Happy Valentine's Day.....16 years together...I was hoping for chocolate or a handjob. Nuthin.

I'm meeting my man in the shower for some before work Cupid fun.

25 years together. He still screams when he cums. Not all of have problems in the sack, OP

r11 yes but are you with him when he cums or is he flying solo?

He is fucking my tight ass. Ok, well almost tight ass

r13 Atta boy. Just do your kegels and give him viagra. Ride em cowboy!

r13 Awesome! I'm jealous. Been together 9 years and in my bed there needs to be a camshow or porn playing before I get any!

Happy Valentimes Day. I'm hoping for some too; 11 years.

My (ex) partner and I had a sex life that only improved over the years. But, after we separated, he went on to two other partners, and now isn't interested in sex with me anymore (although I still want him all the time). I have no idea what our sex life would be like now. He still looks the same to me after 30 years, and I want him as much as I ever did, but I never try to seduce him anymore, not after seeing the look of disgust in his eyes (when he thought I wasn't looking) the last time I tried.

Human beings aren't programmed to pair up. Gay men were heading away from artificial social diktats toward a brave new world of sexual expression and interaction, until Marriage Equality reduced them to het adjacents.

My partner and I had amazing sex, after we we're done I think that was better than the time before. We'd do it again the next day and I'd think the same thing. Now that we are Eldergays we don't have sex anymore but we have great memories.

Threads like these make me so glad I'm single.

r10 How nice for you! I got nothing. No Cupid, no candy, no flowers, no sex.

r 21 Maybe this weekend he will make it up to you?

If he's not touching you, he has a sex buddy or he prefers jerkin it. You need to address it.

How long have you been together? Maybe YOU are bad in bed!

It ebbs and flows. My husband and I have been together fifteen years and we've always have standard issue sex at least once or twice a week. But then there are some spurts of time where we have crazy monkey sex four times or more in a given week. Sometimes we bring in toys, cock rings, and very occasionally porn, and an on eve rarer occasions poppers. We role play on occasion. It's important to keep it interesting.

r25 I hear that!

Same here R25. Many many times we just get each other off and cuddle and sleep. Other times, it's hot sweaty monkey sex.

r27 Sounds good. Usually we just watch a porn video and jerk off. Sigh.

Weekend fun! And.....

Did you get any?

Been together 10 years...used to be hot all the time. Now it's hotter. Mutual masturbation always wins.

I'm smitten with a guy and he's smitten with me. Six months. The sex is fantastic. He's a bottom. He makes me cum no problem. He loves the way I fuck him. But for him, as much as he's into me—and he is—he has to watch porn and beat off, and it takes him a while. I sit next to him and then it dawns on me it's not even necessary, so I get up and do other stuff.

Is this a bad sign?

My longest monogamous relationship was 4 years. It would have lasted longer but he had to move back to his hometown when his father died unexpectedly. I didn't find anyone that I'd consider settling down with until 20 years later. I was with him for 2 passionate years before he died of a blood clot a year ago.

Had the relationships lasted longer, I would have made the passion remain by keeping the sex from becoming routine and monotonous. Role/cos play, spontaneous fucks in different locations. Shake things up and keep it fun and interesting.

It ain't a good sign, R32. I'd ask how old you are, because it seems younger guys have been really affected by being saturated Internet porn from a young age but a relative of mine who works as a therapist says it affects older guys too now. People know intellectually it's not real life but it seems to short circuit the brain wiring, warp your idea of what's attractive and make it harder to deal with a flesh and blood man. I'm no saint myself and look at it now and then, but not with my partner right there.

[quote] How do you keep things fresh in the bedroom?

As part of our couples counseling we were told we had to have sex or the relationship would falter. So even though we thought it was contrived to set down a schedule we started having sex every Tuesday at 7:30 PM and it really has made a difference. Its led to more sex between us and the old feeling of being a committed couple has returned.

Obviously counseling in other areas of life has probably contributed to our better situation .

^^^I agree with that, I think with work and other stressors it's easy to fall into a roommate situation. This hasn't happened to us so far because we're in a long distance relationship, but also after 4 years of a comfortable, old married type of relationship that was more about companionship than passion, I found somewhere along the line I'd really fallen in love with him. Maybe I needed all that time plus the space to ponder that the distance provided to let my defenses down, but it's been an exciting development at age 54. I never got to have that teenage hand holding and gazing into each others eyes thing that straight people have, and now I'm experiencing it well into middle age. So my thought for the day is, dont think that's behind you just because youth is.

Thanks R34 you nailed it. I'm 56 and he's 35.

I am always shocked by how many married or partnered gay guys are on Grindr all the fucking time looking for extracurricular sex

I get the once every few months urge, but these dudes are super thirsty, they are on there at all hours and always hitting on younger guys.

They all say their husband is cool with it ("Open relationship") but I'm not buying that.

I tell my husband that he can beat off all he likes BUT when he is ready to nut, it must be on my face. So he will come running in the living room while I am watching tv and say OPEN YOUR MOUTH NOW! It works.

r 40 hot

r40 I like your thinking! We have been together 9 years. Seeing if I will get laid this weekend.

r42 Did you get any? or just watch him jerk off again?

Got laid during the blizzard. YEAH!

You need to work in time for a quickie before work. We do and it starts the day off perfectly! Been together 16 years.

Quickies are fun.

Been together for 17 years. Top is insatiable. I'm the bottom.

I rather eat ice cream

R47 how many times per week?

r49 Top jerks off daily. Sometimes calls me into the bathroom before he nuts to take the load. We have sex twice a week.

Another weekend and I'm still waiting for it........11 years together.

I hear that

R45 I have to agree, we love morning sex. I can't explain it, but the fact that we are rushed is what makes it so good. I enjoy it most when I've woken up a few minutes before the alarm goes off and started fantasizing. He wakes up to me stoking him and it quickly goes from there.

And we've been together almost 10 years.

My partner and I have been together 17 years. When we first got together we had amazing sex for 14 years, as we got older our sex life diminished mainly due rot age, reduced testosterone levels, diminished energy. While it has diminished greatly I feel lucky that we had such an amazing sex like for so long.

Morning is better because testosterone levels are higher

r56 Agreed!

Bump

I dunno, but it would be nice to find out.

The ideal situation is to have money by the time you both reach your 50s, so you can focus your energies into buying and decorating homes, and traveling. It's what all couples do, gay or straight. Your priorities change over time.

r60 Agreed. Travel and mutual jo.

17 years and we rarely have butt fucking anymore. Mostly jacking off to porn. However I still love him to pieces and we have lots of back and foot rubbing. More in love than ever.

r62 Same here . 15 years together. Lots of porn watching fun and on vacation we hire a couples masseur for fun.

Why did you have to specify men? Because everyone has heard of "Lesbian Bed Death"?

Sad. My husband is 12 years older. I beg for it and he just tells me to watch porn.

r32, your guy is addicted to porn and should really take proper steps to get off of it. He shouldn't "need" porn to cum if the sex is so hot. My generation (under 35) has been exposed to high speed internet porn since the beginning of our sexual lives and they're just now discovering how it's hurt us. Do some googling or read "your brain on porn."

Humans are not made for 'til death do us part monogamy. Marriage is one of the biggest industry scams there is (expensive wedding and even more expensive divorce) and it drains you physically, mentally and emotionally. Of course there are exceptions.

How do you keep things exiting in the bedroom? Live an exiting life. Duh.Boring, normal life leads to boring, normal sex. Find what you and your partner find exiting. If both or one of you look for reasons to resist being exited it's a pretty good sign that the relationship is over.

Exiting or exciting?

Should I dress up like the Easter bunny? Cover myself in chocolate? Just trying to get some action.

r69 Anything work?

Perhaps get PSA test done?

R67 hasn't been touched by any man in at least fifteen years.

Agree with r60. Sex stops and a lovely life sets in. Sometimes a little downlow fun on the side if needed, but keep it discreet.

R73,

By keeping is discreet, do you mean that you shouldn't tell your partner? Telling the other one could jeopardize the relationship? Or do you mean not to broadcast the downlow fun to your friends?

R74, don't tell the partner. Don't throw it in his face. But yes, we also all blab to a girlfriend when we do get lucky.

R40 Even with company over?

Why do bottoms fart so much after sex? wait wrong thread sorry.

Thanks for the advice R73/R75

For the most part, my friends are either open (meaning they have lots of sex with lots of people) or fully monogamous. It's good to know it doesn't have to be so black and white.

I don't agree with bragging to your friends when you get some on the side. That disrespectful to your partner.

I just think my partner prefers porn to having sex with me. And FYI I'm not fat or a troll.

R80, porn can become a habit. I stopped watching it about 3-4 years ago and think my sex life is better with my BF now. Your BF may not prefer porn to having sex with you, but may watch out of habit... and then he has decreased sex drive since he's coming all time on his own. Something to consider

r81 Thanks I think this is the case

It's very hard for gay men to understand, but life is not all about sex all the time. Sex is probably the single most overrated thing on the planet.

Overrated? I am not going to deny your experience but that has not been relationship to sex at all. It can be amazing.

I'm well aware, R84. I've had a lot of sex. A lot of good and great sex. A lot of mediocre sex. Sex of all types. Multiple partners, polyamory, sex on excellent drugs that seemed like nirvana at the time. I've been in a relationship for a quarter of a century. My breadth of experience is very broad.

And I'm telling you, it's not all that. But like I said, gay men obsess over it like it's the end. It's not. Gay men need to grow up. They are very immature sexually.

R84 is exactly what I'm talking about.

Some nice stories on here, good on you guys

Getting older and dealing with partner's ED

Hmmm r85. Your inability to to understand that someone else might feel differently than you do about it makes me wonder why you are so insistent that is is "not all that." I actually said I didn't want to deny your experience but mine was different . You were quick to deny mine. Maybe this tells us exactly what kind of lover you were and why you feel this way.

R85 The sex I've had with my partner is the best I've ever had. We are very compatible and the sex is amazing, I've often wondered if we will ever get bored with it but we never do. If you are fortunate to find someone who can be the best sex/life partner like you will understand what I am saying.

Dealing with prostate cancer is not fun for us. We have been together 17 years.

I've with my partner for more than 10 years and the sex is getting better with time. Last night was probably the best sex I've had in my life. We're both still young and healthy, and I know there will come a time when sex becomes less pleasurable. That's why it's so important to really love your partner and have strong connections that go beyond sex.

[quote]And I'm telling you, it's not all that. But like I said, gay men obsess over it like it's the end. It's not. Gay men need to grow up. They are very immature sexually.

Blame society for making it such a big deal that it's important enough to make the distinction between traditional, heterosexual family values and depraved sodomy.

r90 Sorry for you.

bump

r90 I am dealing with prostate cancer now but I don't have a partner. I'm shocked that this topic does not have it's own thread.

I am bored by the third month, always. It doesn't hamper the relationship, or the sex, but it is the truth.

Actually, this is a topic for lesbians too. I hv been with my wife almost 20 years. It is tough to keep the passion. Life becomes hectic, and it is very difficult. Date nights are great. Walks, talks, and adding humor. Make your spouse feel special. Be naked when they come home.

27 years. Sex became formulaic. Not bad, but average and we did it about once a week. Then one day 5 years ago, we were in bed and he started to kiss me. I mean tongue washing aggressive kissing. I about blew a gasket and came so hard and loud that I suspect we woke up the neighbors and scared the wildlife. I've never found "kissing sex" to be of interest to me, but I did that back to him (which I rather enjoyed) and for the first time in over 15 years, he came all over me and him. Now, we mix it up a bit with things we see on porn sites just to see if we can do it.

most of the time, we're laughing too much to get hard or cum, but it's fun.

He stopped being interested in sex a few years ago, blames himself not me. Then he got uncomfortable if I just played with his big cock. Right now we are down to nothing and it's going to end soon. I feel bad because we are good friends but I think he won't want to continue being friends. I asked why he was still with me when he wasn't interested sexually and he said he didn't want to see me with someone else. I won't get anyone else when it ends because I have lost so much self esteem in the last few years that I won't go looking. Over 50 here so I'm done with it all anyway. I resent people who have a great sex life, I can't help it.

R99 Why do you feel that way about yourself? :( Is he behind your loss in self esteem?

R100, I have always had esteem problems based on several factors. It was just his losing interest in me sexually that really bruised my self esteem and other little things that not associated with him that also factored in.

R99, Have you tried to understand what his fantasies are? We've gone through some rough patches and I found out (through some of his porn history) that he was viewing cum swapping videos (yuk I know). So, I blew him and had him cum all over my face and gave him some sloppy swap'n and he blew an amazing fuse. Don't do it much, but, when he seems bored, I have 2 or 3 drinks and make his evening.

Surprise him! I walked into the shower today. Fun.

bump

So? Suggestions?

What about after prostate cancer surgery? Anyone?

OP, this an LGBT website, NOT gay.

I find R65's story to be the saddest.

r108 Thanks. :(

We have been together 12 years. He much prefers jerking it to porn and when I try to join him or get romantic, he zips up and walks away.

Hugs to those who have been hurt through love and sex...

How do you keep the music playing?

It's a LG and occasionally B website R107. It is most certainly not a T website by any means. Nor does anyone here want it to be.

R113 - How come no T?

Because it's not G (see the thread title).

Apples and oranges.

Want to discuss the logistics of sex with surgically approximated genitalia (or how you like to surprise your partners with your mangina)? Please start your own thread.

I've been with the partner for decades. Sexual attraction remains, but intense enthusiasm subsides. Aging has much to do with it. Also, relationships build in other dimensions including economic factors, social and recreational activities, newer lifestyle developments, household routines, coping with the unexpected, other mutual support, etc.

r 116 is right. And clearly a top.

We have been together 17 years. He gained a lot of weight and the dr said this causes testosterone levels to decrease. But he won't go on any meds so........sigh

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and while I still enjoy our sex life, the frequency of sex has diminished a lot. I'd say on average we have sex twice a week. The wild, hot sex we had in the earlier years of our relationship has been replaced with a more tender, emotional kind of sex.

We have a pair of friends who have been together for nearly 20 years and they fuck like rabbits still. They tell me their secret is that they've never formally lived together. They might spend several days a week at each other's places but they both prefer their own space. I don't know if that's for me, but I can sometimes see the appeal of that arrangement.

Anyone use trimix?

r120 My urologist gave trimix to me when Viagra was not working at all. It was a miracle! Still use it today.

r121 I'm guessing you are a top?

Anyone else use trimix?

I use bimix.

what is the difference?

[quote]set down a schedule we started having sex every Tuesday at 7:30 PM

7.30pm?! I'd rather die.

Termite sex is beautiful sex R18! So I've been told...

Bimix does not need to be refrigerated

Almost cheating or slight cheating every couple of years does wonders for my sex life. I end up realizing I still want him.

What if one of you isn't horny when 7:30 rolls around?

I fart way too goddamn much to be in a relationship. I mean it's constant...no one's gonna put up with this shit! I'm ready to breakup with myself.

[quote]slight cheating every couple

R129 Intriguing. What constitutes "slight cheating"?

Sex is best between people who are strangers. Let's face it.

If you believe anything else you are either a victim of the church or the victim of some frau.

i slap faces more often now

Kris Jenner will always find a way to make money!

We go for couples massage. Fun!

r 136 Two separate masseurs or one guy?

No. ours is getting better and better. 4 years going on 5. We care more and more about each other and communicate very straightforwardly about what we want in bed.

We get off strokin and lickin.

We love massage

I have an older friend who is in a longterm relationship. Once he said to me "while sex is nice, it's highly overrated. Companionship and support is much more important when you are heading towards a fragile state". I can't imagine the fear one must feel when he's alone and too fragile to take care for himself (shopping, cooking, doing chores, driving, etc.) and has to rely on outside help and with outside help I mean nurses and other paid help.

Whhoo boy, OP. Are you in for some dissapointment. “Do you think sex diminished over time?” Oh, my. You are just precious. 😂😂😂

We’ve been together almost 20 years and he’s the greatest, but the sex, like everything else, changed along the way. For starters we are both 20 years older. For most, your body, mind and libido all change over 20 years.

Sex is great, and if your can keep it being great long term, more power to you. But it really doesn’t define a long term relationship to me. Respect, honesty and committment are more important aspects, and companionship is the biggest reward, imo.

Partner and I have been together 22 years. Last summer at a neighborhood dinner party, two other couples (millennial gays, baby boomer straights) and us decided to have a contest to see if each couple could have sex every day for a month. The winner got dinner at nice restaurant. We blogged our journey. Within 24 hours, the uptight millennials dropped out because they didn't want to disclose their frequency. That left the straights and eldergay couple. Both couples were good for about 2 weeks until the married straight husband and one of the gay husbands commiserated over drinks about how their dicks were going to fall off if this continued. So, we mutually agreed to end the tortuous contest. After that, we returned to our 1-2 times per week routine.

Once a week.

OP? Lesbians are gay too. Just sayin'.

We go to couples massage. Rekaxing and great foreplay

R146. Hop up on that massage table!

I couldn't be less interested in sex with my partner of 25 years. He's old. He's fat. He's hairy in all the wrong places. Jerking off to porn is so much more enjoyable and efficient.

Time has stood still for you though I take it, R148?