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Subtle Gay Tells

What are some clues to say you're gay that only another gay guy would recognize?

by Anonymousreply 14903/14/2017

Blue polka dot ties.

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by Anonymousreply 102/09/2017

Discreetly lift my caftan and present hole.

by Anonymousreply 202/09/2017

A thin armband tattoo (or several) on the forearm.

Tight jeans with no underwear.

Earring in right ear lobe only.

Lady Gaga or Madonna t shirt

by Anonymousreply 302/09/2017

a tongue delicately extruding through a glory hole.

by Anonymousreply 402/09/2017

I'm good looking... in subtle way.

by Anonymousreply 502/09/2017

Oh my man I love him so.

by Anonymousreply 602/09/2017


by Anonymousreply 702/09/2017

Any mention of prosciutto, duck confit, or panna cotta.

by Anonymousreply 802/10/2017

Spinning on his dick shrieking wheeeeeeeee!

by Anonymousreply 902/10/2017

r8 .....and GOOD olive oil.

by Anonymousreply 1002/10/2017

When I was at school I was told you could if someone was gay after you asked them to look at their fingernails, if they looked at them palm up and fingers in, and not as palm down and fingers out.

by Anonymousreply 1102/10/2017

... you could TELL if someone was gay ...

by Anonymousreply 1202/10/2017

R11 , I think it's the other way around. Women (and by extension gay men according to this trope) supposedly look at their nails with their fingers extended, palm down (like they're getting a manicure).

I don't think it's accurate.

by Anonymousreply 1302/10/2017

In high school, my older (straight) brother pointed out that only girls carried their books held to their chests: boys carried them slung to their sides. I was taught to correct that if I didn't want to be called a fag, and I did.

by Anonymousreply 1402/10/2017

R13 - You may be right. I was caught doing it the 'gay' way and there was much hilarity at my expense. Those bastards.

by Anonymousreply 1502/10/2017

Until 2000, men who looked better than their true looks, were gay. Gay men fabricated their attractiveness. Then the straight boys caught up and surpassed us.

Its really about context now. There are signs but they are based on age, location, class. Its a really big world.

by Anonymousreply 1602/10/2017


by Anonymousreply 1702/10/2017

Overdressed and over coiffed is often a dead giveaway.

by Anonymousreply 1802/10/2017

In high school our obsessia with Judy and Marlene was regarded as strange.

by Anonymousreply 1902/10/2017

R14 Me too. In 7th grade I was being laughed at and mocked, much to my dismay. I later asked one of my mockers when he was away from the others why I was the target of ridicule and he told me. Carry your books to your side without bending your elbows.

The way a guy throws is another dead give away. Any way but overhanded and you'll be hearing those dreaded words a young boy dreads, "You throw like a girl."

by Anonymousreply 2002/10/2017

Our politics class voted to see The China Syndrome in 1979. I slipped into the cinema next door and saw The Rose instead.

by Anonymousreply 2102/10/2017

At age 8 I was the only one at a party who wanted to watch [italic]South Pacific[/italic] when everyone else wanted to watch [italic]Back to the Future[/italic].

by Anonymousreply 2202/10/2017

To R8 and R10, I must add "Parmigiano-Reggiano" and "bechamel and Bolognese, not mozzarella and ricotta."

by Anonymousreply 2302/10/2017

not so subtle = poppers in the fridge.

by Anonymousreply 2402/10/2017

Dressing decades younger than their age.

by Anonymousreply 2502/10/2017

R25, what do you think someone 65 y.o. should be wearing? I don't dress much differently than I did when I was 25: Oxford cloth buttondowns, khakis, Topsiders or sneakers?

by Anonymousreply 2602/10/2017

A willingness to argue about duvets.

by Anonymousreply 2702/10/2017

Having even a single Streisand album in your collection.

by Anonymousreply 2802/10/2017

Ordering quiche.

by Anonymousreply 2902/10/2017

I'm doublegay, R28. I have The Broadway Album and The Way We Were (not the soundtrack).

And I LOVE quiche, R29.

by Anonymousreply 3002/10/2017

Most of these are not subtle at all.

by Anonymousreply 3102/10/2017

Eating shit.

by Anonymousreply 3202/10/2017

Skinny jeans

Forever shirtless = ab flashers

Sockless with shoes on

by Anonymousreply 3302/10/2017

r3, OP said subtle.

[quote]I don't think it's accurate.

r13 -- it is VERY accurate. We tested it one boring afternoon when I worked retail part-time and it turned out to be a 100% accurate homo indicator w/ a sample of 10 people in one afternoon.

by Anonymousreply 3402/10/2017

[quote]Sockless with shoes on

Not exclusively gay. Just preppy.

by Anonymousreply 3502/10/2017

There's this guy in my office building who has a Louis Vuitton briefcase and wears just a little too much product in his hair. I've heard him speak on the elevator, and it sounds like he vomited up every clutch purse ever brought to the Tony Awards.

by Anonymousreply 3602/10/2017

Pinky hyper extended outward whilst drinking coffee or a cocktail especially.

by Anonymousreply 3702/10/2017

I was busted with the fingernail exam in middle school.

by Anonymousreply 3802/10/2017

All of those are current young heterosexual fashions, R33.

by Anonymousreply 3902/10/2017


by Anonymousreply 4002/10/2017

Plucked eyebrows.

by Anonymousreply 4102/10/2017

A difference in pronouncing the "w-" and "wh-" sounds at the start of a word.

by Anonymousreply 4202/10/2017

R37 Saying "whilst," if you're American,instead of "while."

by Anonymousreply 4302/10/2017

honey, subtle? I just let 'er RIP!!!

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by Anonymousreply 4402/10/2017

R43 Bitch you caught me. Smoochers.

by Anonymousreply 4502/10/2017

Mug cradling.

by Anonymousreply 4602/10/2017

In the work place (think white collar) I'd say touching another guy. Like a hand on the shoulder type thing which is an unnecessary action between professional adult males. It doesn't happen often but it can be one of the hints.

by Anonymousreply 4702/10/2017

A triangle tattoo on one's ankle.

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by Anonymousreply 4802/10/2017

Including French words and phrases in your conversation when you're not French.

by Anonymousreply 4902/10/2017

I like that subtle gay tell r 48.

by Anonymousreply 5002/10/2017

I like to ask who, in their opinion was more stunning in VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, BARBARA PARKINS or SHARON TATE ?

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by Anonymousreply 5102/10/2017

What r49 said. It still shocks me anytime I have to translate something I just said in French to a gay male. C'est seconde nature pour nous, non?

by Anonymousreply 5202/10/2017

Tongue piercing. Any guy with a tongue piercing will at least try sucking a cock unless he already has and possible didn't like it.

Definite freak in the bed sign.

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by Anonymousreply 5302/10/2017

Right r39, I was going to say, do we not realize that "boot cut" is for old people?

by Anonymousreply 5402/10/2017

I'm not a big fan of all that ink, but I have to say that the guy @r53 is really handsome. Yum. Sigh!

by Anonymousreply 5502/10/2017

Listening to this over and over and getting goosebumps and misty-eyed.

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by Anonymousreply 5602/10/2017

R55's taste is in his tongue-piercing.

by Anonymousreply 5702/10/2017

If I can slid it right in w/o spit, its usually a good indicator.

by Anonymousreply 5802/10/2017

"How about those Mets?"

by Anonymousreply 5902/10/2017

Louis Tomlinson at r48.

by Anonymousreply 6002/10/2017

R41 nailed it.

by Anonymousreply 6102/10/2017

Fuckin' A, mac!

by Anonymousreply 6202/10/2017

Sparkle in the eyes, leggings, another gay will 'watch' you

by Anonymousreply 6302/10/2017

Head bands.

by Anonymousreply 6402/10/2017

[quote]Head bands.

Um, what?

I had forgotten about that carrying your books pressed to your chest business. I did that at first and was definitely teased for it. But not by a bully—by a fellow homo friend. That was in maybe 1990 when I was 11.

A man over a certain age (say, 50) who's wearing tight jeans is probably gay.

Does the handkerchief in the back pocket mean anything anymore? I sometimes see some very interesting guys in NYC with a colored bandana in their back pockets—green, black, yellow. Do they still mean what they used to mean?

by Anonymousreply 6502/10/2017

In ninth grade I used to get busted for carrying my books like a girl by a teacher I never even had for a class. He'd be in the hall when I got out of Algebra I, and he'd see me and shout, "Hold your books differently!" One time he even did it from his car after school when I was walking to the bus. Asshole.

by Anonymousreply 6602/10/2017

Taking French was a sign of gayness at my school. Spanish was the heterosexualist language.

by Anonymousreply 6702/10/2017

R66, that teacher was probably a deeply repressed gay man projecting his self-loathing onto you or any other boy who held their books "like a girl."

by Anonymousreply 6802/10/2017

R66 he sounds like a dick! Probably a closet case himself

by Anonymousreply 6902/10/2017

An ascot is a key giveaway.

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by Anonymousreply 7002/10/2017

Knows the difference between Wedgewood, Lenox and Spode china.

by Anonymousreply 7102/10/2017

R49, R52, R67, I wanted to take French in High School, but 'Advanced Studies' meant I was sentenced to take Latin. I still plan to study French at some point when I'm not longer working full-time. I used to keep a French dictionary handy to try to translate the best parts of certain novels (back before the Internet) and I need to learn something to keep my brain from decaying once I retire.

by Anonymousreply 7202/10/2017

This is the subtle way I let people know. It takes a while, but they get the idea.

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by Anonymousreply 7302/10/2017

[quote]Taking French was a sign of gayness at my school. Spanish was the heterosexualist language.

I took both.

by Anonymousreply 7402/10/2017

[quote]Including French words and phrases in your conversation when you're not French.


by Anonymousreply 7502/10/2017

I throw in French from time to time but in my defense I'm Canadian and raised with both languages. Don't need French much here on the west coast, though. My father used to speak French to us at meal times and all day on Sunday.

by Anonymousreply 7602/10/2017

[quote]in ninth grade I used to get busted for carrying my books like a girl by a teacher

I also had an asshole 9th grade teacher like that....he seemed strangely concerned about my decision one day to wear a horizontal striped sweater with a collared, checked shirt underneath.

He told me my mixing of patterns was "too much" and in future I should refrain.

I couldn't tell if he thought it was bad taste(which,looking back, it was) or looked too outre...translation "gay".

Either way I thought his reaction was curious.

by Anonymousreply 7702/10/2017

I used to re-enact the Charlie's Angels intro credits, playing all three angels. I loved Jackie Smith's hair, and my favorite part of the re-enactment was the part where she looks angry as all hell and flips her hair after someone takes her camera away. My other favorite parts were Cheryl Ladd's quizzical half-head turn when she was sitting in the hot tub, and a spot where Shelley Hack, in a red dress and with uncharacteristically straight hair, is laughing. I also loved Carol Burnett, and I used to mimic her different hair styles. I used to pretend I had my own variety show. I was a huge soap fan at 13, and I begged my jock dad to take me to a charity softball game in the area between Guiding Light and Texas. I still have Carla Borelli's and Randy Hamilton's autographs. My superjock dad was incredibly embarrassed by me, but he died before I came out. I wonder if he knew.

by Anonymousreply 7802/10/2017

And how exactly did you figure out its accuracy, R34?

by Anonymousreply 7902/10/2017

In addition to the test of looking at your fingernails, there was looking at the heel of your shoe, holding a cigarette, and striking a match.

by Anonymousreply 8002/10/2017

When I was at school, it was the way you sat. Crossed legs gay. Real men spread their legs. Luckily for me I learnt that lesson and have been spreading men's legs ever since.

by Anonymousreply 8102/10/2017

This thread:

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by Anonymousreply 8202/10/2017

In my schools, German was for the smart and intellectual, Spanish for the stupid or the stoners, and French was for everyone else.

by Anonymousreply 8302/10/2017

I had fluent french by HS graduation. I took Spanish and German in college and flunked them both! I guess I was one of the ones who had to learn it young.

by Anonymousreply 8402/10/2017

r78, Whether he 'knew' or not (probably did) he loved you the way you are. Nothing ever beats thats. You've been blessed in the most real (non religious) sense that any of us ever are.

by Anonymousreply 8502/10/2017

High Lights. Subtle ? No. Definitely a good give-a-way.

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by Anonymousreply 8602/10/2017

resembling SHEPRARD SMITH is a good give-a-way too !

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by Anonymousreply 8702/10/2017

Here's SHEPHARD showing how to rid one's self on their gag reflex.

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by Anonymousreply 8802/10/2017

R72: I only wish the Catholic high school I went to offered Latin. I did three years of Spanish and let me tell you, all of the Romance languages that are based in Latin are pretty much an indicator. Funny enough the elite city public school offered Latin.

But funny story - one girl I worked with - attractive black woman - she said she realized I was gay when I didn't give her the once over with my eyes.

by Anonymousreply 8902/10/2017

Sneaking up behind a guy sitting on the edge of a front porch looking at his phone and hitting him in the back of his head with your blue jeaned crotch?

by Anonymousreply 9002/10/2017

R80 how do you strike a match the gay/heterosexual way?

by Anonymousreply 9102/10/2017

If he happens to be a smoker, hashes over his shoulder.

by Anonymousreply 9202/10/2017

R91, supposedly it's a gay giveaway to strike it away from the body instead of toward it.

by Anonymousreply 9302/10/2017

So, we're talking about the 60s and 70s?

by Anonymousreply 9402/10/2017

Love you R78

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by Anonymousreply 9502/10/2017

R88 Shepard Smith has absolutely NO gag reflex left.

by Anonymousreply 9602/10/2017

Urgk, there's a gross, vile Larrie on this thread!

by Anonymousreply 9702/10/2017

I used to mimic my sister, and wrap a towel around my head (like a turban) after I showered and shampooed. Certainly I wasn't the only little gayling that did this. This was in the '70 and my parents didn't know what to think.

by Anonymousreply 9802/10/2017

Larries are all absolutely bat shit insane - scary people.

by Anonymousreply 9902/10/2017

Asking to see someone's cock was always a dead giveaway for me.

by Anonymousreply 10002/10/2017

R100 Did anyone oblige?

by Anonymousreply 10102/10/2017

Seeing Barbra in Funny Girl on the tugboat singing the end of Don't Rain on My Parade" and getting all emotional. I remember my family watching a documentary on film history and when this scene came on, my mother exclaimed, "Here we go!"

by Anonymousreply 10202/11/2017

"When I was at school I was told you could if someone was gay after you asked them to look at their fingernails, if they looked at them palm up and fingers in, and not as palm down and fingers out."

I always thought this was a much better indicator of whether you were nearsighted or farsighted.

But that's just me.

by Anonymousreply 10302/11/2017

Subtle signs a man is gay?

Doesn't pander to straight women & doesn't fall for their manipulative charms.

by Anonymousreply 10402/11/2017

Swinging your arms when walking.

by Anonymousreply 10502/11/2017

How your present fingernails when asked to check for dirt. We curl our fingers facing us. Straight guys hold their hands out to look at them.

by Anonymousreply 10602/11/2017

I've always been told the opposite of that, R106, as has everyone else upthread.

by Anonymousreply 10702/11/2017

I loved Bewitched growing up, and I co-opted Samantha's line "Oh my stars" for myself. I would say that like whenever something dramatic was happening. For example, I remember going to an amusement park with my family and screaming "OH MY STARS" when I was on the roller coaster or ferris wheel. While my brothers were out playing sports and making mud pies in the yard during summer vacation, I stayed indoors with my mom baking toll house cookies and watching soaps. My aunt to this day tells me that I should've been born a girl, and she's probably right.

by Anonymousreply 10802/11/2017

So R108-- you do wish you'd been born a girl. What if there was a way to make that wish come true. A special camp you could go to with other men who should have been born girls. Where you can all see your wishes come true together.

That would help Make America Great Again, wouldn't it?

by Anonymousreply 10902/11/2017

R108 is transitioning as I type.

by Anonymousreply 11002/11/2017

R108 is Andy Cohen

by Anonymousreply 11102/11/2017

What about jewelry, are ring finger and earring placement still good clues?

by Anonymousreply 11202/20/2017

I heard that women instinctively hold books like they're carrying a baby, and men hold their books like they're carrying a spear. It makes sense, and of all these it's probably the most accurate indicator mentioned so far.

In my school a guy could cross his legs, but only wide, with the ankle resting on the other leg. It was the tight cross that proved homosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 11302/20/2017

R76. There's no call for your "French" in France either. No one there understands your mangled honking.

by Anonymousreply 11403/12/2017

How about: Wearing a pinky ring or dangling it while as you eat and drink Wearing a pair of 501 button fly jeans with one button undone Wearing your sweater with its sleeves wrapped around your neck Wearing a little bronzer and lip balm Playing and singing show tunes Dancing while very light on your feet Rolling your eyes at someone Displaying hand gestures as you talk (to add to the affect, keep your wrists limp) Referring to a guy as "her" or "Miss Thing"

by Anonymousreply 11503/12/2017

LMFAO R115 - those are ALL giveaways..

by Anonymousreply 11603/12/2017

R115 is very happy to be stuck in 1983.

by Anonymousreply 11703/12/2017

Most Latin and North African men use a lot of hand gestures.

by Anonymousreply 11803/12/2017

The pronoun game. Always using neutral pronouns instead of admitting you're talking about another guy.

by Anonymousreply 11903/12/2017

When we were 12 we listened only to Broadway Original Cast Albums and Judy Garland.

by Anonymousreply 12003/12/2017

I used to think wearing a ring on the middle or forefinger was a gay thing. I thought nipple rings were too.

To my surprise some straights have picked up on them

by Anonymousreply 12103/12/2017

R113 so true. I used to carry my books like a baby until I realized that's. It what men are supposed to do. Started to carry like a spear to throw them off the scent.

by Anonymousreply 12203/12/2017

r66, why do you call him asshole. He was probably looking out for you so you wouldn't undergo horrors growing up as being bullied by students.

by Anonymousreply 12303/12/2017

I've never actually held a spear in my hand(s), but if I held my books the way I think I'd hold a spear, they'd fall on the floor. I held my books the same way I hold the handle of a briefcase or suitcase, with my fingers curled underneath.

by Anonymousreply 12403/12/2017

Masculine men don't curl anything; they're all hard angles, r124.

by Anonymousreply 12503/12/2017

Then I haven't adequately described what I'm talking about, R125.

by Anonymousreply 12603/12/2017

R113 British men cross legs that way. And not all of them are gay.

by Anonymousreply 12703/12/2017

How you hold a microphone:

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by Anonymousreply 12803/12/2017

Nipples that stick out of the t-shirt. While straight men have nipples too and they can get erect, they don't generally require them to be played with, so people whose nipples stick out abnormally from being elongated (teased and pulled and sometimes pierced as an erogenous zone), and or who wear t-shirts tight enough to show them, are gay.

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by Anonymousreply 12903/12/2017

When the crotch of the blue jeans rubs white before the knees.

by Anonymousreply 13003/12/2017

And when the knees rub white before the butt.

And anyone with holes in their jeans.

by Anonymousreply 13103/12/2017

The pinky ring is not a good indicator. It's a New Jersey thing.

by Anonymousreply 13203/12/2017

R127 that's one more reason of MANY that all British men seem gay.

by Anonymousreply 13303/12/2017

When he's with other men but walks on the balls of his feet, like a stalking cat.

by Anonymousreply 13403/12/2017

Sometimes if they are an accomplished bottom, they walk with their legs oddly disconnected as though there is something buried in their ass right then. All you have to do to identify the gay then, is to eliminate club foot and differential leg length as the cause.

by Anonymousreply 13503/12/2017

"I heard that women instinctively hold books like they're carrying a baby, and men hold their books like they're carrying a spear. It makes sense"

Of course it doesn't. That's your confirmation bias. Have you ever seen the YouTube video on why males and females use different methods to take off a T-shirt over their heads? The reasons are anatomical (and because T-shirts are made differently for the different sexes). Also, you carry spears individually in your hand, not in a bunch clutched to your side.

by Anonymousreply 13603/12/2017

Penis breath

by Anonymousreply 13703/12/2017

Shirt matches the tie. Carpet matches the drapes.

by Anonymousreply 13803/12/2017

Going swimming was always very revealing, especially how one emerges from underwater. "Girls" always surface gracefully with their hair swept back while "guys" throw their hair to the side. Also how one dives for fun is compelling.

Then there is drying off and use of the towel. Girls wrap immediately under the arms and guys usually scrub the head and legs. Girls have the large beach towel and guys use any old bath or hand towel. The real bad ass would never have a towel.

I was bitten by a large horsefly once on the small of the back and always kept a towel on my shoulders after that.

by Anonymousreply 13903/12/2017

[quote]Shirt matches the tie.

Regis Philbin started that trend (unless this is some metaphor of which I am ignorant).

by Anonymousreply 14003/12/2017

[quote]A willingness to argue about duvets.

The need to point out one means duvet covers.

by Anonymousreply 14103/12/2017

"What do you think of Eurovision?"

by Anonymousreply 14203/12/2017

Cum on your chin. It's a dead giveaway.

If it's on your forehead, you could go either way, but on the chin means you're gay gay gay.

by Anonymousreply 14303/12/2017

this one needs to observed over time: Gender-selective name memory - forgetful about names of waitresses, retail staff, even some actresses to a lesser degree but excellent recall of their name if they're men

by Anonymousreply 14403/12/2017

Being able to quote anything from any of Oprah's "Super Soul Sunday" episodes.

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by Anonymousreply 14503/12/2017

Screaming 'Larrie is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal'

by Anonymousreply 14603/14/2017

Going to a Broadway show once too often. Or just once.

by Anonymousreply 14703/14/2017

His ringtone is the refrain of this song.

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by Anonymousreply 14803/14/2017


I just wish to God that she'd stop using mortuary grade foundation ! She is one scary looking bitch.

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by Anonymousreply 14903/14/2017
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