Harmony of the Seas the world's biggest cruise ship

Looks like health on earth. Aggressively banal decor. Health risk galore. In this age of environmental consciousness AND terrorism risks, why? Sheeple.

Blew my lede. HELL on earth

[quote]In this age of environmental consciousness AND terrorism risks, why? Sheeple.

Terrorism? Really?

Do you ever leave your home?

Like being trapped in a floating mall for a week.

No, thank you.

I will never go on a poo cruise with a bunch of fat flyovers.

It's like a small city ... crazy. I saw a picture of the two-level suite-- truly amazing.

Why would anyone willingly pay that much money to be trapped with so many people, in such close proximity, travelleing at such a slow speed?

R7 lazy people who like comfort and NO new experiences.

R8, no new experiences? I'm assuming it will dock at quite a few ports, probably many the passengers have never been to before.

There's got to be a morning after...

You know, indoor malls went out of style in the 90's. Why are they obsessed with this concept in cruise ships. Generic bland, uninspiring. Flyover state Frau fantastic I guess.

This is what you get when you ask people what they want and then build it. Market driven design by the lowest common denominator.

It's a mall, it's a ship, it's a mall, it's a ship, no it's a mall and a ship. Only this mall ship cost $5000 extra to buy your clothes from the gap.

Jamie's Italian "Ristorante"?

Dear God.

Rotten Row for the flyovers of the world.

Terrible.

That thing at the top of the water slide looks like a cockroach pooping out its innards.

More pics here..

Can't wait for the first bug outbreak and diarrhea epydemics.

R18, I still remember this.. ew :(

Don't like beeing that close to so many strangers traped on a ship.

Where will it dock? Beeing so big. I can not imagine the nightmare of this moster docking and having 6 thousand clueless toerist all at once desending on some poor port town

^^ This kind of ships allways do the same ports. If it stays in the Mediterranean it will probably do stops in Barcelona, Palma, Civitavecchia (Rome), Naples, the Pyreus (Greece) and Istambul.

You skipped the French Riviera, r21.

And Livorno (Florence), and Venice

Like most of Royal Caribbean's huge ships, it's going to the Caribbean after its inaugural season. Those ports always love to take thousands of tourists at a pop, and most of them are deep enough for that monstrosity to dock.

Also, Royal Caribbean prefers people to stay on the ship and spend their money there.

The idea of being trapped on a floating mall is horrifying for me, I don't like malls even when I can walk out of them anytime I want. There is nothing on that behemoth that strikes me as remotely entertaining but I suppose I'm not the target market. I imagine it's being marketed to those who think McMansions are "classy".

I'll stick with the Cunarders Queens Victoria, Elizabeth and Mary, thanks.

Cunard is dangerously approaching monstrosity scale, if I had to choose I would also choose them.

was once visiting Venice, went via vaporeto via lido di jesolo the first day was quiet still and charming then three of these monsters moored. I went inland to visit Palladio's mansions

True, R27. The Cunarders of today are larger than their famous counterparts, but the level of service and the style of their ships are far above anything else currently sailing the high seas.

[quote]I'll stick with the Cunarders Queens Victoria, Elizabeth and Mary, thanks.

I prefer Celebrity, but Royal Caribbean is clearly serving a big market. This is the third of those behemoth ships, and then there's the new one that's not quite as huge that sails out of Jersey.

The decor is incredibly ugly, almost 70s like in its chintz banality.

For the kind of demographics and socio-professional categories they target, I hope there's a Disneyland/world/thingy at every port they dock. These people are all about diversity.

Can't wait

[quote]but the level of service and the style of their ships are far above anything else currently sailing the high seas.

No, not really. The service on Cunard is on par with Celebrity and Holland America, not a bit better. Silver Sea and other smaller luxury ships have better service. The decor is faux-1930s-ocean-liner theme park as they like to pretend that they're the same company they were 80 years ago, so they market to the gullible who fall for their "Of course you'll dine with Elizabeth Taylor" misleading adverts.

[quote] The service on Cunard is on par with Celebrity and Holland America

Holland America, along with Cunard, is owned by Carnival Cruise Lines. Celebrity is owned by Royal Caribbean.

Manny! Manny! Manny!

[quote]For the kind of demographics and socio-professional categories they target, I hope there's a Disneyland/world/thingy at every port they dock. These people are all about diversity.

Royal Caribbean aims for solidly upper-middle-class families, at least for the majority of their sailings (the ones that start in the US anyway). I imagine the average passenger is at least somewhat sophisticated.

[quote]Holland America, along with Cunard, is owned by Carnival Cruise Lines. Celebrity is owned by Royal Caribbean.

Yeah, and? Does that mean that they can't have comparable levels of service?

No, R37. It just means that they are owned by lower-standard cruise lines than they once were. It's true that since Cunard was taken over by Carnival that their service standards, as well as their crew, changed significantly. But I still prefer Cunard as what other major cruise line still does a proper transatlantic crossing these days?

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HAL has been owned by Carnival for twenty-five years, and Cunard for almost 20. It's not like there have been recent changes.

And they're all run independently. Cunard's main management is British.

It's like being trapped in a cross between the mall of America and a Vegas casino, with no hope of escape. No thank you.

[quote] Cunard's main management is British.

Their main management may be, but their ship's crews no longer are.

I know the Queens are all reflagged as Bermudan, but the officers are still British, right?

I dunno, if I wanted luxury, I'd either go with Azamara (also owned by Royal Caribbean) or Oceania (owned by NCL).

The officers are, R43, but the stewards, waiters, etc no longer are.

They have to build em big... 3 billion Chinese need a lot of elevators.

I don't know if that's automatically a bad thing. HAL has traditionally had great service, and their crews were predominantly SE Asian, and that's going back at least a decade. I'd love to do a traditional Southampton to New York crossing on the QM, but I think the atmosphere might be a bit stiff for me. I lurk on a few cruise forums, and a lot of the Cunard fans are awful. So many of them are bitchier than the worst DL cunt.

I agree R38 I misinterpreted your post.

The transatlantics are still lovely, a wonderful way to travel.

There's a lovely HAL ship (the Koningsdam) leaving Amsterdam today. I will get to see her sail right past my window.

It reminds me of that giant mall in Minn.? I can't see paying big bucks to be trapped in a mall for 10 days with a bunch of middle aged drunk fatties gorging themselves on all the food cruises throw at you.

Peta denounces battery cages for chicken but not for humans?

I think R50 took a wrong turn....

No, r51 . I believe r50 means that people are packed in on ships.

Venice is being destroyed by cruise ships. Literally and figuratively.

It reminds me of that Chris Evans' end of days movie Snowpiercer where the last remaining humans are being kept on a train that travels through the world.

"I know how human flesh tastes and *sob* I know babies taste the best" *more sobbing*.

Looks great - can't wait to visit!

I'm bringing my formal crocs to wear to the "ristorante" on B deck.

Give me a river cruise any day.

Ugh, I'd rather die than be on a Viking Cruise. The company may be fine, but their clientele is absolutely the worst. We avoid any town that Viking stops at whenever possible.

So guessing that you never visit any of the major cities in Europe, R58.

Viking has started doing cruises on the open ocean, too. The itineraries are great (because the ships are small, they can get into less-developed ports), and the ships are lovely, but the onboard experience is supposedly lacking.

Mid-century Italian ocean liners.

I love cruise ships myself, but this is too large and too ugly. The interiors are tacky and Royal Caribbean attracts the worst that Middle America has to offer. As bad as Carnival.

R59, I did say whenever possible. We tend to stay in East Germany and the Baltic Sea. The Spreewald is our favorite. One can avoid tourists in major cities. It is towns such as Regensburg that seem to exist only for the Viking Cruise that are a problem. Though, oddly, we have never encountered a Viking Cruise in Bamberg. I guess we also travel off season for them.

Can someone do a Cadillac>Buick>Oldsmobile>Pontiac>Chevrolet breakdown of the cruise-ship brands?

I would never go on one, but the Disney ships' interiors are actually very elegant and ship-like when compared to Harmony of the Seas.

...meanwhile Harmony of the Seas's interiors are barely distinguishable from, say, the Detroit Airport.

Can someone do a Cadillac>Buick>Oldsmobile>Pont - iac>Chevrolet breakdown of the cruise-ship brands?

Kia - Carnival

Ford - NCL

Toyota - Royal Caribbean

Lexus - Celebrity, Holland America, Princess

Cadillac - Cunard

Fiat - Costa, MSC

Bentley - Silver Sea, Crystal, Regent, Seabourn

Landrover - Azamara, Oceania

Can someone come up with a *gay* reference for cruise ship comparisons, such as musicals or fashion designers? I mean cars??? Really???

How are these behemoths legal?

Do they have enough lifeboats for all the passengers? Then they're legal.

poisonous snails slithering on the seas leaving behind trails of sulfuric acid and shit.

[quote] How are these behemoths legal?

They have lifeboats for all passengers and crew

Ports are building bigger docking spaces for them

They meet all other maritime regulations

Looks like it's for gross poor blue collared people

I'm working the day shift at the Tag Heuer boutique and animating the karaoke parties at Ye Olde Towne Pub.

a frau just creamed he panties at this micelangelan work of art

Just to put it in perspective, this ship displaces 227,700 GT. That's like three Titanics.

6,780 passengers and 2100 crew. A Nimitz carrier carries 6000.

On a typical seven-night cruise Harmony will go through 350 tons of ice cubes (approximately 110,000 lbs. are made each day), 5,000 dozen fresh whole eggs, 100 gallons of chocolate ice cream, 2,100 lbs. of lobster tail and 2,500 lbs. of fresh salmon.

The fuel consumption of the main engines at full power is 1,377 US gallons (5,210 l; 1,147 imp gal) of fuel oil per engine per hour for the three 16-cylinder engines and 1,033 US gallons (3,910 l; 860 imp gal) per engine per hour for the three 12-cylinder engines.

[quote]Can someone come up with a *gay* reference for cruise ship comparisons, such as musicals or fashion designers? I mean cars??? Really???

Ariana Grande - Carnival

Britney - NCL

Madonna - Royal Caribbean

Cher - Celebrity, HAL, Princess

Barbra - Cunard

Maria Callas - Costa, MSC

Judy - Silver Sea, Crystal, Seabourn

Gaga - Azamara, Oceania

There are simpler, much more pleasant and relaxing ways to waste gas on a holiday.

R77, I love you.

RSVP and Atlantis have chartered some of the megaships, so it's only a matter of time before they charter this one.

R14 It could be worse-- Carnival has food by Guy Fieri.

R67 I've been on Royal Caribbean, HAL, Princess and Carnival, and I'd say your categorization is spot on. Bravo.

R46 Holland America has a lot of Indonesian crew because Indonesia was formerly a Dutch colony. Although owned by Carnival, HAL does try to retain some of its Dutch trappings. They also have a lot of Filipinos, but then it seems that most cruise lines do.

It's no Love Boat.

Did anyone see the BBC reality series The Cruise? It has the dubious distinction of making Jane McDonald a star (Now there is someone who deserves the full DL treatment.) it supposedly showed what it was like to actually work on a cruise. It really is a train wreck: terrible, but you can't stop watching.

One good rogue wave and it's done.

[quote][R14] It could be worse-- Carnival has food by Guy Fieri.

I don't think he has anything to do with those Guy's Burger Bars beyond cashing the check for use of his name and image.

Unfortunately, they've expanded to also feature Guy's Pig and Anchor BBQ in at least one of their ships.

Celebrity has the Apple Store, Royal Caribbean has Starbucks, NCL has Margaritaville. It's all a branding exercise.

It's Facebook heaven.

Pintrest, more like.

#NeverCarnival

R89, Carnival isn't like that any more, unfortunately. That would be a step up from what it is now. The shows are theme park quality, not Las Vegas. No fancy buffets. I will give them credit that they keep the kids occupied and out of sight, but otherwise, it is like a very gaudy Ramada Inn.

Princess has Curtis Stone and Norman Love chocolates.

Cunard has Todd English.

Celebrity has a Top Chef-inspired menu one night. And if you book into one of their suites, you get Bvlgari toiletries.

HAL has the New York Times.

"Bulgarie toiletries" yes the famous brand of luxury skin and hair products.

bulgari spell corrector!

Royal Caribbean also licensed a bunch of Broadway shows and puts on pared down productions on some of their ships. It's not really anything that would past muster here.

Harmony of the Seas has Grease, her sister ships Oasis of the Seas and Allure of the Seas have Cats and Mamma Mia respectively.

[quote]Royal Caribbean aims for solidly upper-middle-class families, at least for the majority of their sailings (the ones that start in the US anyway). I imagine the average passenger is at least somewhat sophisticated.

There is no correlation between SES and sophistication.

Would those louts be boorish as well r96?

That, they would, R97.

[quote]There is no correlation between SES and sophistication.

What is "SES?"

Socioeconomic Status.

These are basically giant barges. Ugly. Didn't ships used to come to nice "points" (I don't know the technical terminology) and just generally look nicer?

They're built as floating resorts, not for passenger transportation. The Queen Mary is the only one that's really designed for rough seas.

There's a reason that when the ships go to Europe for the summer, they cross in the calmer waters closer to the equator.

18 life boats for 6,000 people. yeah, that'll work out well

Has anyone been on a Seabourn cruise?

It's five Titanics.

I went on a cruise once. Once.

I hope it tips over; that will make for great tv.

Liners like the RMS Titanic were sleek and graceful by comparison (if dwarfed in size by modern cruise ships).

I have friends who are Cruise Kweens. They behave like it's oh so 'classy' to go on a cruise. I'm embarrassed for them.

Tonight, Columbo is on a cruise ship.

Agree that the floating monsters have become a bit tacky in decor, but that's what happens when you start attaching gigantic serpentine water slides and circus amphitheaters to the sleek lines of a cruise ship.

As far as Royal Caribbean goes, their more "elegant" ships are in their Radiance Class fleet - the Brilliance, Jewel, Serenade, and Radiance of the Seas. They're a notch above in decor and discriminating tastes and compliances. Plus they were designed with much more glass that allows more light Into the atriums and makes the ships literally sparkle in the sun.

I was an Activities Manager for Royal Caribbean in 2005/2006. I have never worked so hard in my life. It's not just fun and games. 70% of the job is behind-the-scenes bureaucracy, 20% is maintenance of the "GOLD" standards (you'd be surprised how much time can be invested in upkeep of images and themes, grooming, training, reviewing, etc), and 10% is the actual interaction with the passengers.

It was challenging enough to keep 3000 guests happy onboard the Adventure of the Seas, Jewel of the Seas, etc. I cannot imagine what the overworked cruise directors have to deal with in these new ships with 6000 guests and much more bureaucracy.

People thought we were everywhere at all times and they didn't know the half of it. One month that included a transatlantic cross I logged in 333 work hours. Made me yearn for the days I was a simple entertainer smaller ships of the eighties where we did 2-3 shows a week and traveled, ate, and worked out the rest of the time:).

And it's not the kind of job where you get to go home at the end of a work day. The entertainment part made it worthwhile, but as I said, that was just 30%.band of course there's the big prize - the travel. I got to go to many countries around the world, including Russia during its gay-friendly window of opportunity. I also got stuck doing Galveston to Gulf of Mexico ports for a couple of months, which made feel sorry for my poor colleagues who got to do those schedules and their Walmart clientele year-round. It pays off to speak multiple languages because you're immediately shipped off to the better ports.

And whereas other on-board jobs had long yet steady schedules, cruise staff had to be around at all kinds of weird hours, from 7am passenger greets to midnight shows and karaoke crap that went well past 2am.

You learn to take naps wearing a tux or ball gown.

One final piece of advice - if you're ever in an emergency in a cruise ship, follow the Filipinos. Most of the engine-room operators and mechanics are recruited in the Philippines. They're the only ones who know every nook and cranny inside out. During boat drill - where I was responsible for quizzing crew with the answers in front of me of course - they were the only ones who knew all the material and the only ones who could immediately and successfully crank a lifeboat into the water.

Yes, R111, but did you get to have steamroom sex with passengers, or were you limited to hooking up with chorus boys from the show casts?

Were you on the Navigator when it was going out of Galveston?

The old ocean liners and the modern floating malls are perfect examples of form-follows-function.

Yes and no, r112. I was in the Splendor out of Galveston for about a month and a half November-December 2005.

Re sex with passengers- it was verbotem (mostly to avoid lawsuits). But really, there was as always some fooling around going on in the steam rooms. I remember even seeing some hotel manager cruising the steam rooms heavily.

The funny thing is that - during my performer days - I had been part of a known celebrity's act in Atlantic City and now he was doing cruise ships. Our paths crossed and we said wouldn't it be fun to reunite for old times sakes, and reunite we did after I had left Royal Caribbean.

So here I was, back on board, this time with the celebrity treatment (hotels, limousines, premiere staterooms), an open bar tab, a VERY easy schedule (we didn't even have to stay the whole cruise!) and steam room cruising rights (that's where I saw the hotel manager of the Voyager cruising the steam room).

So I pick up this other guy, take him to my stateroom (which now I was allowed to do), we have great uninhibited sex, and then he tells me "remember that little girl you guys brought up on stage? That was my daughter, I'm traveling with my wife and kids..."

Only in the high seas can you feel such proximity to the family of your illicit encounter...

Jesus.

Oooh, R75, that will go perfectly will my collection of crystal skulls!

Personally, I enjoy slop for dinner when abroad, R81

My last cruise was on Celebrity. One of the activities staff was a rather sassy little British twink with a big juicy ass, and while I'm not usually forward, had I seen him in the gym, I would have gone for it.

I was in the Turkish bath in the spa, and there was a handsome, slightly older guy there, and I wish I'd thought to flash him some dick. I have a feeling I would have finally gotten my fantasy of getting it on in roasting temperatures and air so thick you can see it. The actual sauna seemed to be full of grandpas that were actually there for the heat.

Some of the dads clearly need blowjobs away from the wives and kids. It's good of you to indulge him.

R77 Hilarious.

Why are cruise ship disasters (at least those not caused by food borne illness) so rare? I'm talking Titanic-type disasters. You would think these things would sink more often.

They're sailing between Miami and Cozumel, not around the Cape of Good Hope. The Concordia grounding only happened because the captain was a blooming idiot.

I don't get why Gaga is Azamara and Oceania. I think I get the others. Anyone?

The list was created by one of her "Little Monsters" R122. There is no other explanation.

So, it's a floating food court.

Well- fun to look at and laugh at! But you could not get me on one of those for any reason. That pic posted on at R66- yikes. I wonder if I was in my 20s whether I would go for a gay cruise on one of these monsters. I doubt it.

a glorified sardine can

[quote]I don't get why Gaga is Azamara and Oceania. I think I get the others. Anyone?

Because both of them focus more on exotic locals instead of, like the giant shopping mall experience. It reminds me more of Gaga's artsy period as opposed to some of the others.

Although it was back and forth between her and Beyonce for that slot.

The pic at r66 is of Detroit Airport, not a cruise ship- just in case

Jimmy and Roselynn Carter were frequent Royal Caribbean guests back in the 80s. Roselynn even christened one of their ships, the at-the-time biggest Sovereign of the Seas.

I can't imagine the Secret Service letting a former president do that today.

How old are you R77/R127?

Late-30s.

I would like to go, just as much as I like to go to zoo's and look at the animals being that, animals.

Being locked in with a bunch of people I had no say in choosing is like being at work.

R133, that really isn't a problem except at mealtime. Then, yes, it is a problem and I imagine it becomes even more of a problem on one of these huge ships. The first 10 hours of a cruise usually involves getting one's seating arrangements changed so that one is not seated with a bunch of strangers for dinner. Virtually no one wants to sit at a group table. This must be an enormous issue on the huge ships.

R134 I have only been on a cruise ship once. It was a family trip, so we had enough people to fill a table (the same table) every night. So dinner was pleasant.

We also booked different nights at premium restaurants in smaller groups.

The whole experience was not nearly as a bad as I thought it would be. Nevertheless, I thought I would never do it again. But I am going on a cruise next month with my parents. Not because I want to, but because they wouldn't go unless I was there for logistical support. And it will be nice to spend time with them.

[quote]Virtually no one wants to sit at a group table. This must be an enormous issue on the huge ships.

For some people, it's part of the experience. Forced awkward conversation is the best part.

I was seated for lunch with a Mormon woman from Texas who was determined to get me to say that I support Bernie Sanders (I voted for Hillary) and to say that MSNBC was my cable news of choice. When I explained that I don't have cable, she looked at me like I'd sprouted another head.

Trouble on the high seas!

I really wouldn't want to be sailing on this very famous shit around the Mediterranean this summer, in this tense moment of terrorism. ISIS pledged to bomb famous European beaches so why wouldn't they launch a missile at this ship, as well.

I was roped into going on a cruise for the first time with several friends. I despised the "seating" in the large dining rooms at specified times. The buffet areas were worse, lines of overfed people eating as if it were the last time they would see food. The restaurants were better, but quite pricey. The pools were very crowded. The entertainment banal, with the same cast doing different forms of entertainment nightly. My friends all exclaimed, but there is so much to do! Yes, all of it with strangers you don't care to be near. The only things I really enjoyed were getting off the ship at port and the casino in the evenings. I did use the gym. Never again.

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Nobody with a brain goes on a new cruise ship.

Wait until the second year.

[quote]Why are cruise ship disasters (at least those not caused by food borne illness) so rare? I'm talking Titanic-type disasters. You would think these things would sink more often.

Ship building and navigation technology of today is light years beyond what it was in 1912, when two pairs of eyes on the sea in the dead of night was considered sufficient to ensure the safety of 3,000 people.

Exactly, R141. Much the same as not buying the new model of a car in its first year.

I don't know exactly what the heading 'Great value offering' in the BBC article means. Is that British parlance for discount? That's how I understood it -- the inaugural passengers got a steep discount for being the beta testers. Or is it just the exec overselling the amenities? If they did get a discount, I hope they were forewarned.

Harmony of the Seas HORROR, as new shoes wrecked by stranger's poop; now requesting advice from DL

The mid section looks like a 1960s British high-rise block of flats turned on its side.

R141 Why?

Because the ship is not necessarily finished.

Because many things can go wrong on a new ship. Wait until everything has been time tested and appropriate repairs have been done.

Because much of the crew is inexperienced or, at the very best, do not know the ship that well.

Just like you don't buy a new car in its first model year.

You're better off with tried and true. It's common sense.

I have never heard anyone speak favorably of "that new cruise ship smell"

[quote]I have never heard anyone speak favorably of "that new cruise ship smell"

I wouldn't know-- my sense of smell has been damaged by decades of doing blow.

Also, never immediately before or immediately after a dry dock.

Although some that stuff, like the water slides being closed, had to do with weather.

Who the fuck would think a Southampton-Rotterdam 4-day cruise -- especially in May -- would be a good idea anyway?

The overflowing urinals were gross! ew!

What's remarkable is that the ship was delivered ahead of schedule. And this happens.

[quote]What's remarkable is that the ship was delivered ahead of schedule.

The schedule was full of shit. They didn't even punch list the ship. They were rushing and have done their company a lot of damage.

[quote]Passenger Georgina Davie, from Southampton, said: 'Ninety percent of the children's attractions that it was marketed for have been shut for the whole cruise and are still being worked on'

Shouldn't children be in school?

[quote]The schedule was full of shit. They didn't even punch list the ship. They were rushing and have done their company a lot of damage.

How could the builders get away with it? (Hah, I had to go look up and make sure they weren't Chinese). Wouldn't RCC have inspectors on-site during the construction to make sure something like this doesn't happen?

What a fiasco after all the publicity.

They have another ship, Empress of the Seas, that just returned back to Royal Caribbean after sailing for Pullmantur Cruises, a Spanish line that Royal Caribbean owns a minority stake in (they used to own the whole thing, but sold off 51% of the stock). They were supposed to start cruising back in March, but the ship was in such bad shape that they had to basically gut the thing and ended up canceling out two months worth of cruises. It's supposed to finally get going tomorrow. They're going to use it for Cuba cruises now that they can do that.

[quote]Hah, I had to go look up and make sure they weren't Chinese

Almost all cruise ships are built in Europe. Primarily in Italy and Finland, but also in Germany and France.

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these overbloated 'cruise ships' dont really 'sail' anywhere, they just meander along the coast from port to port because they'll tip over at the sight of any kind of rough seas.

cultured people dont go on 'cruise ships', they board the queen mary 2, a transatlantic ocean liner than can handle anything mother nature can throw at her.

Thank you, R162

as far as i know, the only ocean liner in service is the qm2, all other 'cruise ships' wont do transatlantic voyages

As far as you know isn't very far.

R53 What, has a Speed 2: Cruise Control-esque disaster happened that I haven't heard about?

those cruise can only do that in fair weather. The QM2 has a sharp bow and deep hull and was made to handle anything the sea can throw at her.

[quote]cultured people dont go on 'cruise ships', they board the queen mary 2,

There isn't much that divides the Queen Mary 2 and this type of ship. Indeed, it was the Queen Mary 2 that we can all blame for ships competing to see which could be the most ungainly and look like a floating Hyatt Hotel.

People who think the Queen Mary 2 is the height of sophistication and "culture" are just a more pompous variety of trash than the type who takes Carnival to tool around the Caribbean.

Truly posh people surely have their own boats anyway.

Um all cruise ships in Europe for the summer do transatlantic cruises to the Caribbean for the winter. Do you honestly think a 4000 passenger line is gonna stay in St. Petersburg and Helsinki in January and February?

the queen mary 2 is an ocean liner. The other cruise ships are not ocean liners.

You said: ",all other 'cruise ships' wont do transatlantic voyages" which they clearly do.

Plenty go through the Straits of Magellan as well.

Yeah - most modern cruise ships don't fit in the Panama Canal

RCC doesn't care because their target market is Americans.

Right R142, now it's no eyes.

The correct initials are RCI, r175

has anyone been on a gay only cruise?

Cunard Line has been crossing the atlantic to and from new york since 1840. Today it still remains one of the most iconic experiences that only queen mary 2 regularly can do

I cannot imagine being trapped on some slow-moving barge with all the fraus and a bunch of screaming kids. I'm hyper-social, but only with people I've known awhile. I get sea sick easily, and would feel claustrophobic, I imagine.

The QM2 is not slow, because she is an ocean liner. Queen Mary 2 has a maximum speed of just over 30 knots (56 km/h; 35 mph) and a cruising speed of 26 knots (48 km/h; 30 mph), much faster than a contemporary cruise ship.

Queen Mary 2 has been around a while. He is she showing her age?

The 'Queen Mary 2' is for hawgs who shop at Dillards instead of Walmart.

[quote]Yeah - most modern cruise ships don't fit in the Panama Canal

The wider canal that's supposed to open this summer is big enough for most of the megaships, but some are too tall to fit under the Bridge of the Americas.

the qm2 is only 10 years old.

Her predecessor the QE2 was in service from 1969 until 2004

QE2 sailed until 2008. Caronia, which was their second ship until the QM2 joined the fleet, left in 2004.

QE2 got sold so some group in Dubai that was planning to turn her into a hotel like the Queen Mary out in Long Beach. There's currently little indication that will happen, though.

[quote]the qm2 is only 10 years old.

10 years is a long time, when those ships are being used almost every day of every year.

I read that the Queen Mary was partially refurbished this spring and the job will be completed next winter.

I actually worked on the 'Love boat', the Pacific Princess 25 years ago. It was a beautiful ship. Just small enough that you got to know the passengers and everyone had a personal experience. Everyone used to dress up. Formal dress and captain's cocktails. It was special. These behemoth's are so impersonal. They are ugly as shit and the staff can't possibly get to know them. It is tacky as shit now.

but was it an ocean liner?

I wish I could have gone on the Normandie. That was the most beautiful ocean liner ever built. Nothing afloat now compares to its beauty or service.

My friend goes on gay cruises. Apparently, he has sex with a dozen guys each time. He met that plastic queen Justin Jedlica on one of them (trolling for a new sugar daddy I think). They're friends now .

He's a narcissistic extrovert, so I think it's a great environment for him - and the 8000 facebook friends he has with him in the pics he posts. I couldn't even stomach the thought of it. I was taken on a cruise by my family when i was 14 or 15 and didn't really like it. I am too claustrophobic and misanthropic to do a cruise.

He also takes a full course of zithromax every time he's on one...and a ceftriaxone injection when he gets home.

[quote] Nobody with a brain goes on a new cruise ship. Wait until the second year.

Yeah

-signed..Maiden voyage passengers on the Normandie, Queen Mary and SS United States

[quote]Yeah -signed..Maiden voyage passengers on the Normandie, Queen Mary and SS United States

Yeah, indeed

-- signed maiden voyage passengers of the Titanic.

No, it's going into dry dock for a month starting today.

You're here / There's nothing I fear / And I know that my heart will go on...

[quote]Yeah - most modern cruise ships don't fit in the Panama Canal

Can't they just use extra lube?

A Trans Cruise would be awesome. Are there any exclusive Trans cruises?

R197 Most trannies can afford Greyhound, much less a cruise.

CAN'T afford

I learned that Olivia Cruises, the MichFest of the waves, allows trans women onboard.

I wonder what you yell when a trans person falls overboard.

[quote]Olivia Cruises

Welcome aboard the Clitoris of the Seas. If you have any issues or problems regarding who you were assigned to eat at your table, let Nancy Nutloaf, our restaurant manager, know about it and we'll see what we can do.

Preach, R168!

[R 189] It most certainly was an ocean liner it simply had 1000 people (including crew) onboard instead of thousands. On one trip I went from Alaska across the Pacific stopping off at various islands then round Japan, China, South East Asia, Australia, New Zealand and round to Bombay as it was known then. The Pacific Princess was a proper cruise ship with beautiful classic lines from the era when cruising was something special.

R203 must be the oldest living human.

R203 -- it didn't sound that elegant when Mouse and Maryann went in one of the Tales of The City books, nor did it look that classy on The Love Boat.

Has she sunk yet?

I'll be on the QM2 for a short trip from Hamburg to Southampton in July..just after her new refit where the interiors are being redone to reflect more of the original QM.

Will also be on the Royal Caribbean's Radiance of the Seas in October for the Bravo cruise of the performing arts in Australia.

Harmony of the Seas may look like a mall, but the brand new Carnival Vista looks like a chain restaurant.

How many of the ports where cruises originate are equipped to handle that many passengers boarding at the same time? I've been on cruises with around 2,500 people and it takes literally dozens of check-in counters, security lines, etc., to get them all on board in a timely manner. Double that and it's gonna be chaos.

[quote]The Pacific Princess was a proper cruise ship with beautiful classic lines from the era when cruising was something special.

Aren't you talking about the 70s? NOTHING was tasteful in the 70s. I can just imagine how cheesy the interiors of the ship were.

" the Normandie. That was the most beautiful ocean liner ever built. Nothing afloat now compares to its beauty or service. "

Don't know enough about the ships to agree or disagree this was THE most beautiful, but looking it up damn she was impressive. Before lookign pictures for this, my only image of her was that burning capsized wreck sunk in NY Harbor as shown by Hitchcock in that movie.

Ugh Gross - R208 looks like a Premier Inn with a water park next door... and a Red Robin (Gourmet Burgers and Brews) down the street. Their target market is pretty clear.

Anyone else guiltely thinking what a great news cycle it would be if one of these, filled to the brim, sank. For whatever reason? All souls lost.

Carnival Vista has a water slide park on board!

[quote]Ugh Gross - [R208] looks like a Premier Inn with a water park next door... and a Red Robin (Gourmet Burgers and Brews) down the street. Their target market is pretty clear.

Honestly, Carnival's ships used to be just over the top gaudy, but I'm not so sure this is an improvement.

I met a bartender on a Holland America cruise to Canada several years ago. I was supposed to be going with my then bf, but his mother took sick, and I insisted that he go tend to his mother and I'd make the trip so as not to waste the ticket, as the cruise line wouldn't refund us. One night at sea, I meandered over the ships€™s martini bar. I was already a little tipsy from the vodka that I smuggled on board in a colostomy bag, but felt like some company. The ship was filled with old people who had long since retired to their cabins. I struck up a conversation with the bartender, who was from Poland. His name was Mladen, and I too thought he was very handsome. He was divorced, and sad that he was not able to see his children as often as he liked. He seemed rather angry, but I put it off to his long hours. I turned on the charm and said some funny things to make him laugh, and he finally did, exposing several missing and rotten teeth. I let it go, as he was being very kind serving me full strength drinks, and not the watered down stuff. By midnight, I was really drunk and struggled to get off the bar stool to stagger back to my cabin. I remember the bar being empty; the only thing I could hear was the sound of the ships engines. Mladen offered to take me back to my cabin. I gratefully took his arm as he helped me from my bar stool and we walked back to my cabin. I thanked him for walking me back as I placed my key card in the door if my cabin."Wait, I will help you inside" he said. Looking back, I guess there was a certain tension in his voice, but I ignored it. "Well, Mladen, aren't you sweet to tuck me in..." Suddenly I felt a sharp pain on the side of my face; he had hit me! I fell to the ground, my toupee gone askew over my eyes, and before I could do anything, he had pounced upon me, pinning my arms back, forcing his tongue down my throat. "EETS you and ME, baby, NOW!"as he grunted, his hot, foul breath making my eyes water. “L-l-let go of me, you b-b-bastard!" I yelled, trying to push him off of me." My dream cruise was turning into a nightmare! I felt his forearm up against my throat as I lost my breath. My partial plate fell out of my mouth, and he began to laugh. His other hand began to tear at my Old Navy sweat suit, exposing my body to his lusty assault. I wanted to scream, but was too frightened at the prospect of someone seeing me in such a compromising position. Besides, I was drunk and who would have believed me? Just as I was about to pass out, without warning, he turned me over. He was so strong, I couldn't believe it. I work out and am in shape, but I was drunk and too weak to fight his violent onslaught of my person. I turned around to watch him remove his shirt, and tried to use it as an opportunity to escape, but he slapped me, and then he stuffed the shirt in my mouth; I can still taste the acrid sweat and deodorant. "DO as I SAY OR I KEEEEL YOU!"" he growled. I felt my sweat pants pulled down around my ankles, and cringed as he ripped my truss from around my waist, and listened to the sickening sound of him spitting in his hand. Suddenly, w-w-w-without warning, I felt his violent penetration of my anus-h-h-h-he RAPED ME!!! It went on and on, for at least ten minutes. As he climaxed, I tried to think of England, although I'm an American. He lay on top of me for a few minutes. Then he got up. I turned to look at him, my bartender and now, my rapist. He had a smug, satisfied look on his face, even in the dim light I could see it. He yanked my toupee off and used to to wipe the santorum off of his cock. He laughed, put his shirt on, then was gone. I'll never sail with Holland-America again. He never calls, he never writes...

That story has been circulating around data lounge for years. Nice to see it back!

Throw R216 overboard. Jesus Christ. See if Julie can bring you a paragraph.

[quote]The Pacific Princess was a proper cruise ship with beautiful classic lines from the era when cruising was something special.

We had faces then.

Some of us may also have had nasal septa.

Poo cruise plaintiffs mostly lost (the biggest win was 15k for 3 people and 3k for a few other people, before lawyers fees). Cruise ships grant passengers no rights...no right to safe travel or food.

[quote]The contract ticket makes no express guarantee for safe passage, a seaworthy vessel, adequate and wholesome food, and sanitary and safe living conditions," wrote Graham. The ruling reflects the little protections afforded to passengers as currently written by many cruise ship companies.

There was still negligence because they didn't repair something before leaving the dock... but they don't need to.

R216 your saga made to the emoji thread

R193, we waited years before sailing to ensure a smooth experience. It didn't help.

---Signed, Lusitania passengers

HAL's MS Koningsdam leaving Amsterdam today.

Here's Queen Maxima christening the Koningsdam.

That profile is a lot uglier than I'd expected.

She looks like a fat Amy Schumer, r224.

Where's the bottle of champagne? Or do they do something different nowadays?

She's way more attractive than ferret-faced racist Shumer R225.

I actually meant the ship's profile, but it works for the Queen too. Since Willem-Alexander married a commoner, you think he'd have chosen a prettier one. It doesn't bode well for Princess Catharina, the Heir Apparent.

HAL always has the Godmother bless the ship's bell. They definitely did the champagne as well, but there don't seem to be any pictures of that.

She needs to invite the House of Windsor's fashion consultant over for lunch. That dress, while a nice color, doesn't really flatter her.

I wonder how many times a week she gets to sit on black secret-service daddy dick

It's as if they built a boat for poorly educated people with common tastes and obesity issues!

Reading all the middle-class types fawning over the Queen Mary 2, causes me to ask, "Have any of you, more discerning, artistic types tried Seaborn? No, of course, it's not like a private boat, but it is as close as some of you might get, no?"

That looks nice, r231, but one is still locked aboard with people not of one's choice

I want to take my mother on a Baltic Sea Russian cruise next year. I can't decide between silver cruises or crystal cruises. Help me pick I'm only going because it's one her wishes, I'm fully aware of all the nasty homophobia and racism

R232 I used to feel the same way, but after several summers on the Mediterranean with Truman, maybe strangers wouldn't be so bad.

R233 I assume you meant SILVERSEA?

I like HAL's signature navy blue hulls and their teak decks and loungers.

R233: Crystal is generally better regarded.

R236 I do, too, (although I prefer the red and black of Cunard), but that new boat is surprisingly ugly.

Yes @R235 Thank you @R237

The Titanic was an insatiable bottom.

R233 definitely Crystal. Almost 1-1 ratio staff to passengers offering White glove service.

What happened to Peter Deillman Cruises, the one with the retro German ship, the Deutschland?

I can't imagine being stuck on board a ship with 8000 people. It's the stuff of nightmares.

You know it's impossible for those 8000 people to all be happy, for starters.

Bump

[quote]You know it's impossible for those 8000 people to all be happy, for starters.

And healthy.

^all that shyt-literally How do they flush out all the poo?

R247 On the Harmony of the Seas, they supposedly burn it until it is dust. They have a waste treatment plant and a water desalination plant onboard.

What's going to be interesting is what will happen if this ship ever has mechanical or electrical problems and ends up dead in the water. Is there anything available that can tow it? And how long until 6000 angry passengers decide to mutiny?

They usually divert other ships to come and help. That's in addition to the Coast Guard and anyone else that can help out.

In 2010, there was a fire on the Carnival Splendor halfway between San Diego and Cabo San Lucas. They ended up being tugged back in to San Diego and got airdropped supplies from the USS Ronald Reagan.

>What's going to be interesting is what will happen if this ship ever has mechanical or electrical problems and ends up dead in the water.

What if it gets hit by a tidal wave?

MGM Grand Vegas afloat. La Normandie she ain't.

It's good that in the water, you're a very skinny lady, Belle.

" what will happen if this ship ever has mechanical or electrical problems and ends up dead in the water. Is there anything available that can tow it? "

There are contingency plans. Always read the fine print of your cruise contract.

R247, have you ever actually been on one of these ships? the toilets are the same as airline toilets. And they either have it removed when they're in port, or dump it as sea, as airplanes do.

No I have not @R256

For those of you lamenting the loss of the classic ocean liner look, I present the MSC Seaside.

The idea is to take the ship's normal promenade and move it outside, like a European market with trattoria and the like.

I like it better in concept than in execution, because the thing looks quite ungainly.

Yikes, R258 - that is one ugly large barge.

I hate it!

That one I can actually imagine tipping over.

I am amazed at all the money going into these ships. I suppose it makes sense with the generational shifting. My parents are now in their 60s and semi-retired, and they love these things...all the food is included, all the entertainment, etc... no need to book multiple flights if you want to see a few cities in a week. It's so not for me, but they can't get enough of them.

The crazy thing is, my mom got this emergency eye problem out of nowhere, in the middle of Alaska, on one of these boats. I think it was a partial retinal detachment. Luckily, it wasn't that serious, but they had to find an eye doctor in Ketchikan (within the 6 hour window they were going to be there) - which was impossible...so they just flew home...with 2 connections. So, there's another reason I wouldn't want to do it.

If you're that concerned about having a medical emergency while away from home, why travel at all?

The point is more that if you go to a remote location or are at see for a full day or two... you don't really have great access to medical care. And, if you need to get back from somewhere remote, it's a huge ordeal. I think they flew & waited for over 16 hours straight - just to get back.

But there's nothing that says they HAD to fly all the way home. Even if they couldn't find the resources in Ketchikan, they might have found that there are doctors in Anchorage or Juneau (or hell, Seattle) that wouldn't have required sixteen hours and changing planes twice.

Say your parents had flown to Cancun for a week. What would they have done then?

[quote]no need to book multiple flights if you want to see a few cities in a week.

The other benefit is only having to unpack once, which you can't do when traveling by auto or tour bus. The down side is that you only get to spend part of a day in each city (except for the rare occasions when they do an overnight.)

The fancier the cruise line and the smaller the ship, the more likely for there to be overnights. Azamara, Oceania, and Seabourn almost always have at least one overnight stop.

Even the megaships stop for a night or two in Saint Petersburg, but then you've got to deal with giving Putin your money.

I'm happy to go on a cruise, but on a regular one, not RSVP or Atlantis.

It's a gigantic Disney theme hotel with a hull.

R264, are you retarded? My mother was not going to risk going blind by traveling all around the Northwest looking for an opthamologist when it was only 16 hours to get home. Finding another one would've taken much longer. Anchorage is 1700 miles from Ketchikan, 1100 miles from Seattle, and 300 miles from Juneau - but your recommendation is to go there to potentially have eye surgery and recover rather than back home?

So, yes, they did HAVE to fly the fuck home, dumbass. Let me make it even more clear for you: My dad is a doctor, and there is a doctor on the ship. They all agreed that was the best course of action. But you, some random DLer knows more? Save it.

Finding some doctor in Alaska within a 6 hour window in a podunk town in Alaska is impossible, especially if surgery was required. Your analogy to "you can't go anywhere then" was already pointed out to be a false equivalence - but you still want to keep arguing about something you know nothing about? Or, are you an eye surgeon now?

What does Cancun have to do with anything? That just makes you seem like more of an idiot. Cancun is far more central and nowhere near as far or REMOTE. The point is also that cruises go to REMOTE places and are AT SEA with no ability to reach land at any speed. Many people do come off cruise ships in body bags altogether. Look it up. God you're fucking stupid. Can you please shut the fuck up, now? Thanks.

The designated place for tantrums is on the Lido deck at 2:30 pm. Bring your canastas!

Calm down girls. There's plenty of stewed tomatoes and turnip greens for everyone at the all you can eat vegan buffet.

R269, your single, made up, experience does not equal reality for all

This is why I don't travel.

I just threw up in my panties a little, and my anus and my crack is whack

"the thing looks quite ungainly. "

To say the least. I've seen more graceful coal barges pushed up and down the Ohio River.

[quote]Virtually no one wants to sit at a group table.

Not true, I love this as its the best time to meet new people unless you are some snobby recluse. Besides, its fun upsetting some Frau and her man bitch when you talk about your gay life expediences, liberal attitude, and how much you love Obama. You paid just as much to be on the ship as they did, if they dont like it, they can move to a different table.

Occasionally, they can actually be cool. We met one younger straight couple we ended up partying with when we got back on land.

[quote]You paid just as much to be on the ship as they did,

I know you're just trying to make a point, but this is more than likely not bound to be true.

Its not a literal dollar for dollar statement R277. Both are customers is the general understanding of that statement.

Royal Caribbean is not having the best year.

These ships that have massively wide lobbies, hallways, etc .... How do you get around when the sea is rough? There's nothing to hold onto. I've only been on a small cruise ship (work) but we went through the tail end of a couple hurricanes a couple times and you couldn't walk in a straight line, the ship was rolling so much. Same with North Sea and cross channel ferries, you had to hold onto your dinner plate so it wouldn't slide off the table. There's always ships motion, no matter how big the ship.

I was just on a mini cruise (48 hours) from Oslo, Norway to Kiel, Germany. It was ok, but I found the ship big enough. I couldn't even imagine going on one of those monstrocities. Also.. the ship I was on was built especially to handle rough seas. Most cruise ships aren't. We were out in 12 m/s waves, which was bad enough.

PS. the ship I was on is actually the world's biggest cruise ship with a car deck, most cruise ships don't have that.

R272 - it was not a made up story, or I wouldn't have gotten that pissed off about it - you fucking genius.

And no shit it doesn't happen to everyone. Do you think I expect that a billion dollar industry has 100% of its customers experiencing medical emergencies?

Wow some people on DL are dumb as fuck....yet still manage to condescend as if they actually have a clue as to what they are talking about.

Nate Berkus introduces the Celebrity Edge, which has a structure called the Magic Carpet which moves up and down the side of the ship. Sometimes it's a lounge, sometimes it's a restaurant, and sometimes it's a platform to get passengers on and off the ship. It's a really cool idea, but it's eye-bleedingly orange. Must be an homage to 45.

They also have balcony staterooms and suits whose doors fully open to the sea.

Oops.

They've announced their next ship, Symphony of the Seas, which is likely to be slightly bigger.

I hope they have many more lifeboats hidden away somewhere because there's only 9 showing on that side and I assume at least 9 more on the other side. 18 lifeboats could never save everybody on board if that ship was at full capacity.

Each of those holds almost 400 people.

Bump

I can't imagine any scenario where I would willingly set foot on that boat.

She's been eclipsed as world's largest by sister ship Symphony of the Seas, who is about to have her maiden voyage.

Those mega-cruises are full of fatties on scooters who make awful gurgling noises with their CPAP machines. And everything is contaminated with feces.

You couldn’t pay me enough.

The Celebrity Edge class ships look promising.

What decks are The Olive Garden and The Cheesecake Factory on? We'll scooter our way around for the neverending pasta bowls and midnight cheesecake buffet

We just luuuuurve this foreign cooking, don't you?

I went on it. It is like living in a mall for a week. I was bored and miserable. Lots of sickness on the last day. It's huge.

I was treated to an all-expense-paid trip on this boat, the only way I wouldve ever gone. Like r296, I got bored very quickly. Even though it’s enormous, it doesn’t really fill that “big” when on it. There isn’t all that much to do really.

[quote]She's been eclipsed as world's largest by sister ship Symphony of the Seas, who is about to have her maiden voyage.

Maiden? That bitch has been FULL of seamen for months now!

Atlantis or RSVP will charter this ship and the gay sheeple will come as well.

Atlantis already has.

R279 I’d blame the parents. Where were they? Some people leave their children to their own devices on cruises. Always ends badly.

We saw the Symphony of the Seas in Sydney yesterday and it was huge.

We leave tomorrow for a 40 day Holland America cruise. We will go around New Zealand then back to Sydney for a day then onto various islands then docking in Vancouver, B.C. where we will catch a short flight back to Portland.

We spent the last two months traveling up the east coast of Australia.

[quote]We saw the Symphony of the Seas in Sydney yesterday and it was huge.

That was probably Ovation of the Seas, one of their ships that's permanently in Australia or SE Asia. Symphony is still in Europe, I think doing final sea trials before a cruise from either the Netherlands or England to Barcelona to start its inaugural season in the Med.

Have fun on your grand voyage!

Ah, you are right, r303.

I found a trip I want to do next year.

Well fuck Cunard and the Queen Mary! Time to boycott.

No not Fuck Cunard. Fuck Bermuda. It's all their fault.

Yeah, gays need to boycott Bermuda. Any gay wizards who can make the island sink?

Well, that behemoth would destroy a scenic view, wouldn't it?

Can you imagine the sewage that thing expels every trip? We are doomed.

Floating Walmarts

[quote]Can you imagine the sewage that thing expels every trip?

Probably almost as much as Chrissy Metz after she visits Golden Corral.

Don't worry, guys! The toilet water is all recycled, so it comes out of the faucets later!

Call me low class, but I had a blast on my Royal Caribbean cruise. Got to do something new every day, met some cool enough people (without any children), partied at the club and hooked up via Grindr. Dinned at a fee restaurant once to have something more private one night. These ships are fun and I'm under 30.

All the fraus on a cruise dress the same. Overweight, dated hairstyles and usually wearing a sparkly blouse or tent dress. I pity the fool who stands in their way at the midnight buffet.

Does Janet Jackson go on cruises???!??

At least the cabins aren't bad-looking.

There's nothing like being trapped on a ship, in a fire, in the middle of the ocean. The only thing that comes close is hitting an iceberg. You couldn't pay me to go on a cruise although I do have to say that the Viking river cruises always look rather appealing

[quote] I pity the fool who stands in their way at the midnight buffet.

Midnight buffets are kind of a thing of the past.

[quote]Call me low class, but I had a blast on my Royal Caribbean cruise. Got to do something new every day, met some cool enough people (without any children), partied at the club and hooked up via Grindr. Dinned at a fee restaurant once to have something more private one night. These ships are fun and I'm under 30.

Good, you're supposed to have fun, that's what you paid for, That's not the point, they are incredible floating environmental disasters.