Leftover etiquette

He sounds like an aggressive creep. His behavior is a good indicatation of how it would be with him.

Thank you r1. He does seem to be rather full of himself and pushy. I would never assume I had a right to someone's leftovers even if I paid for it, but then I thought that could just be me.

Leftovers?

Your leftovers are yours. He is being way too pushy. a sign of worse behavior to come.

Everyone knows the leftovers belong to the bride and bride.

Thanks r3 glad to know it wasn't me.

How is demanding your leftovers any different from eating your food off your plate?

The guy has no concept of boundaries, and if you keep hanging around him, you're going to see more and even worse behavior. He's not going to get better.

The fact that he didn't back down when you said no is very telling. Run, don't walk, away from this character.

I was thinking the same thing r7. If this is his good behavior, what I've seen tonight and one previous date, I definetly don't want to be around to see his bad behavior. Thankfully we hadn't made plans to see eachother again.

Arm wrestling. Winner takes all. Do I have to tell you guys everything?

[quote]He then said that because I make more money than he does I should pay

What a crass, tasteless comment. This alone is enough to cut him out of your life.

He was out of line.

Plus, it would gross me out to eat someone elses partially eaten food.

That's akin to double dipping.

R8, some people learn when they're young to forcefully demand what they want and if anyone says no, to simply push harder. Parents of children who act like that usually give into them because it's easier than arguing with them, but it creates a lifelong pattern. They grow up to be adults who think they can persist in that behavior to get whatever they want.

Why are you even asking this question?

Was he super attractive and ultimately you could excuse his inexcusable behavior?

Being hot sometimes trumps all rules of decorum.

Punch and delete

I would have given him the leftovers, plus 20 bucks to buy more food, and left. Life's too short to deal with scum.

I kinda doubt this ever happened.

R16 You must live a very sheltered life. People are crazy! I went on a date with this guy once, paid for dinner and concert tickets. The following weekend he took me out for dinner and a movie, he paid for dinner and then had the guts to ask me to pay for the movie tickets, because he had already paid for dinner? I bought one ticket, gave it to him, wished him a good night, and went home. People are rude and crazy.

Feed yo trick, OP!

The only etiquette for leftovers it that they stay on your plate and go back to the kitchen when the table is cleared.

I'm with R19.

This has the potential to turn into another Turkey Meatball Thread. Yay!

Why would you eat someone's else's leftovers??? That's disgusting. He's entitled to his leftovers. Was he fat or just too poor to afford food?

OP did you also just get caught jerking off in your car at your Temp job?

Did he ask for a taste of your food, just a little pinch?

Congratulations, OP, you just had a date with a dude who was only looking for a free meal.

If you brought him home with you, I hope you counted the silverware in the morning.

Guy sounds like a fucking mooch.

My sister and BIL used to do this all the time, invite themselves for dinner and then expect to take the leftovers home. They were making three times more per year than me but expected to eat my food.

Glad you stood your ground OP.

If only he had reached out to take the leftovers...then you could have stabbed his hand with your fork and said "Not so fast, toots!"

R15, I'm sorta' with you. Once he asked for them, I would have given him my leftovers with a smile and then never given him another thought again.

What a turn off ! This really would bother me I am a generous person already and I had a former woman friend pull this with me . I had eaten my food and was going to save the other half of my sandwich to give to my mother who is elderly and disabled ( as a little treat it was from very nice cafe here in NY). This friend when she saw I had not finished the sandwich without a word grabbed the uneaten remains and stuffed it down her maw . I was livid but said nothing . This and then a few other incidents finally made me end the relationship. OP the fact that this person made mention of you having a larger income is crass . It also appears this creature has a large chip on his entitled shoulder.

At a restaurant, each member of the party takes their own leftovers home, regardless of who paid for the meal.

At a private home, the host keeps the leftovers or gives them away, at their discretion.

At a pot luck, each member of the party takes the leftovers from the dish(es) they brought home or gives them away, at their discretion.

At a work function, e.g., a catered lunch, the greediest people get the lion's share of the leftovers.

What R28 said. "Oh, you want my half-eaten, cold dinner? Here ya go. Bye." Then stand up, walk away and don't look back. Immediate punch and delete, no appeals.

Ever been to an office potluck, where Fraus make plates to take home for dinner, even before the food turns into leftovers? I hate greedy people and potlucks with a passion.

I thought the phrase was "I pay; you lay."

[quote]At a work function, e.g., a catered lunch, the greediest people get the lion's share of the leftovers.

God yes R30 and R32. Do these people have no shame?

I saw one co-worker go into the break room where the food was kept before our New Years party and take an entire plate of cookies, wrap them and put them in his desk drawer. When I told the woman who had brought the cookies where they went, she immediately went to his desk grabbed the cookies and shouted, "Ted, the fucking cookies are for EVERYONE!"

[quote]This friend when she saw I had not finished the sandwich without a word grabbed the uneaten remains and stuffed it down her maw . I was livid but said nothing .

Are you kidding me? How could you not say anything?

Why do some people act so weird around food? Is it, because they grew up poor, and didn't have anything to eat?

I had longtime friends over for T'giving a couple years ago. After dinner one friend said "you sit down and socialize...I'll clear up in the kitchen." He was adamant that I sit and enjoy myself. Have hosted him for years, close friend. Afterward he announced he was going to call it a night, saying "I packed up some leftovers for myself I hope you don't mind." Surely didn't mind...until after he left discovered he had packed up nearly everything including the leftover turkey & even the carcass I kid you not. And he is no Darfur orphan either. My partner won't ever not invite him so I always keep him out of the kitchen and never offer him any leftovers. He's also the one who wants to know what time the meal is being served, when invited, and shows up just then, even if festivities have begun a couple hours prior. So unbelievably rude, always a chip on his shoulder about something it seems. Miserable.

R37 That's a new low! Who takes a damn turkey carcass home. For what?

R38 I've had guests ask me for the turkey carcass to make soup.

R37 I would not let a guest clean up my kitchen while I socialized no matter how much they insisted . I clean up after everyone leaves or wait until the next morning.

Wow, R37, that is nuts. Especially at thanksgiving when leftovers are expected and part of the tradition for most. He stole your Black Friday turkey sandwiches right out from under you! And that whole "no, I insist I clean up, you sit and socialize" bit is so devious.

Does this guy show up empty handed, too? No bottle of wine or something to share? It's fine if people do that but you don't then steal all the leftovers including the turkey carcass!

R37 they say you are the company you keep... so why does your husband still insist on having that guy around?

I was once at Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house. She had invited some co-worker of hers who didn't have anywhere to go that year. When dinner was over and everyone was helping to clean up, the co-worker noticed that my cousin, who was about 22 at the time, was dealing with the Turkey carcass. She immediately said to my cousin, "What are you doing with that? Don't think you're taking that home. I'm taking it."

My cousin was flabbergasted, as was my Aunt. My cousin made some comment about how she was planning to make soup with it. The co-worker told her, "No you're not.. I'm taking it so I can make stock! You're going to have to fight me for it!"

Keep in mind that the co-worker also didn't bring, nor did she offer to bring anything.

They just let her take it because my Aunt is too polite and thought it would be too awkward.

They never invited her over again.

Leftovers are for poor people.

[quote]At a restaurant, each member of the party takes their own leftovers home, regardless of who paid for the meal.

Oh Jesus what sort of restaurants are you going to?

R44, I don't know what you mean. I think R30 (and OP) is correct. Every individual may take their own leftovers, but not others'. It doesn't mean that you are required to take leftovers home. In any event, OP's date is a jerk. No matter how good looking or anything, the guy would make anyone's life miserable.

R24, I do believe you're on the right track.

The only issue I have with you, OP, is that you mention that you paid for the meal. From my POV, even if you pay for the meal, if the leftovers result from his meal, he gets first dibs on the leftovers. You seem to disagree with this.

0/10

My sister Lee once took all of the Cornish Hen and pate from the table and slid it into her Kelly bag. So I fucked and married Onassis.

I never realized how many food greedy bitches are out there ! For Gods sake,its just leftovers,let the man have them ! I hope I don't ever need a kidney from one of you bitches.

It's not about OP being greedy, it's about the BF doing something that is not commonly done, and is selfish, pushy, domineering, etc. Most people are on their best behavior on a first date, can you imagine what a nightmare the BF would be, once he lets his hair down? .

A meal is just that, a meal. Leftovers are not included. I once caught my cousin in the kitchen after Christmas Eve dinner wrapping up the left over cabbage rolls to take home, ignoring the fact that there were others who hadn't arrived yet to eat. I told the fucker to put them back and get out of my kitchen. Greedy prick.

You have leftovers at restaurants? Where the fuck are you going, the Cheesecake Factory?

Ugh.

Oh god, I admit I have gone around the bend about people and their food issues, I have issues about their issues! People who won't eat what's prepared for them, people who pile their plates sky high at parties, people who put their hands on food others will be eating, people who ask "if you aren't going to finish that, may I take it home", people spearing stuff off your plate, people biting something and putting it back on a serving tray, people staring at food you have ordered with disgust or lust, etc.

Listen up bitches, the food on my plate is MINE. Don't ask for any of it, don't touch it, and no, you may not have the leftovers.

Really, R53? Portions at all restaurants now are super sized....not just at the chains. I always have enough leftovers from a dinner out for a satisfying lunch the next day. Are you 400 lbs.

OP, how does he know you make more money than he does?

So many fancypants in here! I love leftovers. At Thanksgiving I divided everything among 6 of us into Tupperware containers (I know, that's tacky too) and kept the carcass for stock as we do every year. Not wanting to share is understandable to me --growing up my siblings and father would grab food from my plate before I could eat it--but now can deal with sharing as long as people observe good hygiene and leave me most of my meal. Some of the stories above are horrifying. I would fight that selfish woman for the carcass, turkey stock is fantastic.

Leftovers are for my pet dogs. Cheapskates.

What do you use turkey stock for? Do you make turkey soup? Other than making gravy (1 x per year), I can think of no other way to put it to use. I'm not a soup eater and when I need chicken or beef broth......boxed College Inn is just fine.

I have difficulty envisioning what sort of places you're eating at that asking to package up 'leftovers' and take them home isn't heinously embarrassing. If you're at a restaurant, leftovers are left on your plate until the waiter takes it away. Only home cooking produces legitimate leftovers for eating the next day.

People like R53 and R58 are transparent in their need to sound like they're so above... meanwhile you know they're eating McDonald's from their mother's basement!

[quote]I have difficulty envisioning what sort of places you're eating at that asking to package up 'leftovers' and take them home isn't heinously embarrassing.

Um, every restaurant I've ever eaten at, R60, from $200 meals to $20 meals. I almost always have leftovers and I've never even remotely been embarrassed to ask for a box, nor have the hundreds of other people I've seen doing this over the years. Or the waiters who have asked, "would you like me to box that up for you?" Where do you live and/or how were you raised that this isn't perfectly normal? Have you really never heard of a "doggy bag?" Seriously?

At a work function, e.g., a catered lunch, the greediest people get the lion's share of the leftovers.

It never fails... there are always a handful of people who storm the table the instant it's ready as if they've been in the desert starving. And they are also the ones who whine and bitch about this dish or that dish as if the caterer should have phoned them for menu approval.

[quote]From my POV, even if you pay for the meal, if the leftovers result from his meal, he gets first dibs on the leftovers.

Read the OP more closely. Each had his own leftovers, the date tried to take OP's as well.

[R34] - Your co-worker sounds like my kind of woman. I would take her out for lunch just for that. And maybe let her take my leftovers.

Who takes leftovers home from a restaurant, that is my first reaction.

Second, OP, I am sorry to say, but if having your leftovers was really so important to this person, the polite and graceful thing to do was to give it to him. And maybe not eat with him again if it really bugs you. He certainly didn't have right to them. But maybe he is desperate - either financially, for whatever little control he can have in life. Sometimes its kind just to give into to such people and take the high road.

I see nothing wrong with any of these practices.

[quote]He certainly didn't have right to them. But maybe he is desperate - either financially, for whatever little control he can have in life. Sometimes its kind just to give into to such people and take the high road.

R66. Please give me the keys to your car and your house. And while you're at it, kindly hand over your credit cards and all your savings. C'mon....make it snappy. I'm feeling like I need to have "a little control in my life."

I'm always too embarrassed to ask a restaurant to pack up leftovers for me unless it's a casual lunch place. But some of the things i've read here about taking other peoples' food is shocking. I didn't know people acted like that. Where have our manners gone?

[quote] Where have our manners gone?

I don't know what you mean. What's wrong with taking what I want?

Are these restuarants where it's not a faux pas to take a doggy bag those all you can eat variety places you get in the Mid West?

[quote]I have difficulty envisioning what sort of places you're eating at that asking to package up 'leftovers' and take them home isn't heinously embarrassing.

My goodness. You are just too, too precious.

Should we get you a chair? Do you need us to call anyone?

No, I'm older, and that was the way we were raised.

Do any restaurant industry people want to weigh in on our leftovers debate? Not OP's, but the weirdo who can't "envision" asking to take leftovers home? Is it really so rare? Or is it just considered déclassé by snooty types? Could manorexia be a factor?

[quote]Are these restuarants where it's not a faux pas to take a doggy bag those all you can eat variety places you get in the Mid West?

Actually, it's the reverse. Every restaurant except for all-you-can-eat places is happy to box up your leftovers for you. And, in my experience, most waiters will offer. And accepting that offer is not even remotely a "faux pas." Again ... Seriously?!

I'm just reading about it on the internet, apparently it's a US thing that doesn't happen in Europe. A couple of the reasons given are that there is less food on the average European plate and there's a social stigma attached to the practice as it's generally seen as something for beggars and fat people.

Google link to quite a few amusing stories about Americans that asked for doggy bags in Europe, especially France, but then you can imagine the French reaction to something as tacky as eating cold leftovers out of a box.

Yeah, I was just looking that up, too, R76. One amusing anecdote had a couple in France asking for a "doggy bag," only to find their waiter turning surly on them because he thought that they were saying that the food was only fit for a dog. Here's what Wikipedia had to say:

[quote]Doggy bags are most common in restaurants that offer a take-out food service as well as sit-down meals, and their prevalence as an accepted social custom varies widely by location. In some countries, especially in Europe, some people would frown upon a diner asking for a doggy bag.

Yes, I'm American, but older, and it was considered a faux pas to ask for leftovers or a doggy bag.

Well, R77, how do you think the term "doggy bag" originated?

All you cheapskates...Good etiquette is to leave the leftovers alone.

It's worse to waste food.

R59, if you're happy with College Inn, bless your heart. Turkey stock is amazing, you hack up the bones, roast the carcass, and simmer with aromatics for 3-6 hours. It makes a rich, flavorful stock. Chicken stock is magical and buttery, a bit subtle; turkey stock is more assertive, perfect in flavoring rice, pasta, polenta, soups, braised vegetables, etc. It is "liquid gold" along with other poultry stock.

I worked as a server all through college and grad school in fine dining establishments and we never looked down upon people who asked for us to wrap up leftovers (but the term "doggie bag" is gross).

It was once considered gauche to ask a restaurant to package your uneaten food to take home. But, it's now considered acceptable. However, you never claim another person's leftovers as your own. Ever. It does not matter who is paying the cheque.

If you bring food to a private party, the food "belongs" to the host/hostess. Anything that is left over that you brought remains unless the host/hostess asks if you would like to take it home.

I never ask for food to be taken home, but only because I'd put it in the fridge and then forget it's there, having to then throw it away anyway.

[R81] It is also considered a faux pas to clean your plate. It signals that your host didn't provide enough food for you. I know, rules, rules, but that's a fact.

And it's a token amount of food, R85, that is left on the plate.

I havenever heard of taking someone else's food home.

Maybe if half a sandwich was left untouched, or some fried chicken, but almost everything else must have come in contact with the original diner and that is just a bit repellent.

Right, [R86]!

"Grabbing your leftovers" you wish queen.

When I first saw the title of this thread , I thought this was going to be about the HBO show . I actually enjoy hearing all the stories about people behaving grabby . It sounds petty to some , but I have known a few people just like the OP describes I might have just let the guy take the leftovers home . I would have then wished him well before never seeing him again. I have learned through real heartache to nip assholes in the bud.

The social faux pas is not taking home leftovers.

My BF and i are always going to restarestaurants that are new to us and he loves to order more plates than we can finish at one sitting (3 or 4, rather than the requisite 2) He likes to try different dishes and have the leftovers at work the next day or two. It's fun to dine this way because you get to sample favorably reviewed menu items that you otherwise can only experience vicariously.

OP, a good lesson in don't date "down" - i.e., WAY down the economic ladder.

I've ordered one meal , then ordered one to go when I don't have time to cook. It works out well.

OP and his date wrestled for bottom after. Unfortunately both won and, therefore, they both lost.

Would you go to Noma or French Laundry and ask to take the leftovers home? I definitely would not.

I'm older and it was always common to ask for a doggy bag.

As someone noted where else would you get such a term? The old days.

Of course I won't use that term any more as it is gross but today I've found the servers bring you the box as in do it yourself when before they would bring it in the back and do it themselves.

I like it much better this way.

But it is pretty bizarre to think somebody would ask for somebody else's leftovers.

He must have been raised on a farm. As livestock.

[quote]growing up my siblings and father would grab food from my plate before I could eat it

That is just fucking bizarre to me. A parent stealing food off his own child's plate?

My partner talks about something similar. As a kid, if he didn't grab the food fast enough at dinner he wouldn't get any. But now I know that his parents and his half-siblings were abusive monsters so I guess I associate stealing food off your own child's plate as monstrous.

Like R96 has ever been to French Laundry!

I grew up with 6 siblings and it's true you have to be fast to get enough food. I don't know if my parents were ever looking out for whether we ate enough or not. It's not like there wasn't enough Brussels sprouts left over, but all the good stuff would be gone fast.

In my experience, most waiting staff will ask if you would like any leftovers boxed. Who actually gets the leftovers will be decided by the bossiest bottom.

Last time I was in Bove's in Burlington, VT, I ordered two extra orders of lasagna to go because it will most likely be the last time I get there before they close for good. They are in my freezer (divided up into four portions)

r30 is sensible.

I might add that egregious behavior signals that this was a final date. No future in this relationship.

As if R99 would ever know when to use "as if" instead of "like."

Haha, R104 . I have been restraining myself from correcting R99 for the last 15 minutes.

Haha, someone got their feelings hurt!

Wait, now we're talking about picking up the laundry?

r94 & r92, I do the same thing.

I can't imagine how pressed both of you are if you had to give leftovers a second thought. People like you should not eat out.

[R99} Part of my family is in the wine importing business, so I go to a lot of resturants most people don't go to. But you already knew that about me, right. You seem to think you know all about me and where I go. Grow up. You sound like a child.

I'm surprised no one has yet brought up another favorite variation on crass leftover behavior: when someone has maybe two french fries and half a leaf of lettuce left on their plate, and they ask for that to be wrapped/boxed.

Waiters love that.

At my aunt's funeral my great-aunt went around collecting everyone's leftovers to take home, then complained to my mother than most of the food wasn't of the type appropriate for boxing up as leftovers.

R109 you're extremely sensitive, aren't you?

[quote]But you already knew that about me, right. You seem to think you know all about me and where I go. Grow up. You sound like a child.

You sound like a child for throwing that tantrum, ha. If you can't take a joke then maybe DL isn't for you!

So many tryhard here. Only time you don't need to take leftovers is in a French establishment as the portions are small.

Some here may claim age in not taking a doggy bag but the truth is really attempting to hide growing up in poverty or marginal surroundings. There's no embarrassment not wasting food. Maybe if you've only grown up eating in cheap chain buffets. Again, your background is of the have nots.

I can imagine the other beliefs of some of these lower-class posters. Because they come from trashy backgrounds with shitty, classless parents and are ignorant in matters concerning etiquette.

The first hint is to worry about what a person working as a server will think of them. Even the newly arrived Mexican water/bus boy and other patrons who have no bearing on their lives. Mostly, it's coupled with a mental illness symptom known as 'ideas of reference'. Look it up.

Some of us load up on the bread basket and cocktails, so when the food arrives you're no longer hungry.

But the best giveaway is how these shame filled cretins who won't ask for a doggy bag is how they approach the bread and butter situation. They'll butter up a roll and shove it in their maws. Uh, that's what bread plates are for. You place your butter on the plate from the ramekin or open the packet and discard the paper, then you tear the bread into bite sized pieces and smear the butter on each tear. You don't consume it by holding the biscuit or bread slice to your face. You drop that napkin in your lap as soon as you sit at the table. Never tuck it into your collar. These peasants Probably lick their fingers as well.

But then again, Ramen noodles and freshly made papardelle are basically the same thing, right?

Thurston Howell is how ALL rich people behave, n'est-ce pas?

Yet these poor, sheltered trolls will think nothing of arguing with superiors here who lived a rich life until they're blue in the face.

I'm naming names next as in R this and that.

I'm older was the best defense by one of our low rent residents I've ever come across!

[quote]it's a US thing that doesn't happen in Europe. A couple of the reasons given are that there is less food on the average European plate and there's a social stigma attached to the practice as it's generally seen as something for beggars and fat people. Google link to quite a few amusing stories about Americans that asked for doggy bags in Europe, especially France, but then you can imagine the French reaction to something as tacky as eating cold leftovers out of a box.

Another reason to add to the long list of reasons to hate the French.

This is a US website, no one cares what the French think about leftovers.

R115, I know..like the person has no means to reheat the food once home. Fucking DL peasants are precious!

They get all defensive, over the top stalkers when you school them on reality. Then they wonder why they're alone.

Stalkers? No one cares enough about you to stalk you, precious.

R115...without surprise, the peasant uses Google as a reference b/c this troll never made it to France. It's never a tidbit from real showing up for life experiences. Ever.

R117 like clockwork, you just gave yourself away b/c you know I'm referencing you and your throwaway childhood.

So predictable and uneducated, ignorant and dumb.

R78 you fucking old peasant..that's not how you use the term faux pas.

So not only are you old, lower class, uneducated but possibly one of the most pretentious fixtures around here who exposes himself without fail.

I believe the term you're looking for is "gauche"

Keep broadcasting your unprivileged existence here.

A nice distraction from world news of late

[R112] No, I'm not sensitive at all. I know what my background is, and that's all thatc ounts.

Why would I care what some stranger on the internet believes of me? I just find it so tiring and sad that people here have to resort to saying peole are lying if they have no better, well thought out, response. It's juvenile, something a kid would say- you;re lying! It's the post of a small mind.

Accodring to Trip Advisor's column, it is not considered proper to ask to take leftovers from a fine dining restaurant.

According to Dining.com, there is a stigma to asking to taking meals home. According to Etiquitte Scholar- it isnot acceptable to take food home from business dinners or on a date. According to flyertalk.com it is not acceptabke to take food home from a fine dining restaurant. Shall I go on?

As for oldsters, it's not that they grew up poor. It's that they were trained by their parents on a higher lever of proper manners. People have a lot to earn about basic manners here.

[R120] Check your dictionary. Faux pas: An embarrasing mistake in a social surrounding. Now who's the peasant?

European here. I've never heard of "doggy bags" in Europe but I actually think it makes good sense. Why waste food? It's funny that Americans are more "sustainable" in this particular area than Europeans.

[R124] No wonder you've never heard of doggy bags. They are considered low class and a faux pas in many fine dining establishments. Only lower class people ask for them in lower-class restaurants. Some people do it in a fine dining establishment, but it is looked down upon from anybody from a proper background. Can you see the Pope asking for leftovers? The President? Bill Gates? Warren Buffet? How about the head of the stock exchange? Diplimats? Obviously not, because they know proper manners.

The term began because people who really need the food were too embarrassed to say they needed to take food home, so they blamed it on the dog, that they were taking the extra food for the dog, rather than for themselves. They were embarrassed to admit they they needed the leftovers because they didn't have enough money.

And yet you obviously do care R121 because you've had to respond twice to state your case and what you missed was the original reply was obviously a joke.

I care about educating people who dont know better, so I don't have to sit next to them in a fine restaurant and watch them make fools of themselves, and now I give up. It's obviously a losing proposition And no, it was not a joke. It the reaction of a small mind trying to act like he knew what he was talking about, trying to make him feel better about himslelf at someone else's expense because he had obviously not been to a world-class restaurant. He's the typcal oafish schoolyard bully who tries to keep up, but fails when somebody challenges him. Sad. I'm done.

Some of you are so try-hard that I experience vicarious embarrassment from reading your posts. The fact that you 1) try to shame people over their perceived socioeconomic status and 2) falsely believe that the wealthy exclusively dine at 'fine dining establishments' tells me that you are pretending to be something that you aren't. Your idea of the wealthy comes from what you've seen on TV or read in a magazine. The truly wealthy tend to be quite frugal. The internet allows us the opportunity to be the person we wish we were.

I won't let you dig yourself any deeper with these posts about people you know nothing about. But I suggest that you invest in a good book on proper etiquette and read it. Bye!

Every book on dieting suggests that when going out to eat dinner halve your portion, and save it for the next day. Would the thread snob consider that leftovers?

I was raised to not waste food. Take it home, eat it or give it to the dog. Where is the sense in throwing out perfectly fine food just because you can?

R121...why bother defending yourself on an Internet board?You could say whatever, doesn't mean it's fact but some of us can read 'tween the lines. It's called logical reasoning but do keep on! Entertaining for authentic posters here who only try to bring honest discussions and experiences to help others not make mistakes and live a better life.

R122..what a good shot man..using Internet message boards to defend your lack of experience with the better life.

There's something called old money. Look it up loser. Yes, they get drunk and even steal silverware.

You're not a true American. You live by rules from TV shows like Dynasty and Gilligan's Island.

Biggest drunks, biggest bargain hunters. The mentality is "better in my pocket". Guess New Canaan Connecticut mentality or NY's Old Westbury or Gold Coast is lost on you.

R123..Frenchies here..Yeah a social situation, not interacting with restaurants and those who work as servers in such establishments, you oaf.

Girls, girls. You're both unattractive.

If the date is hurting for money so badly that he must ask for another persons leftovers, why doesn't he go to a food bank for a bag of groceries. Or try budget meals? Just a thought.

Bill Gates? That's your idea of class? Hon, money doesn't equal manners and breeding or just taking the time to educate yourself to up your station in life..

Warren Buffet, the President? Money and enterprise makes for social rule?. Going up to the highest rungs to make your point indicates your marginal, lower class background.

Here's a little reality check. Picture it. The fine dining establishment is packed. Even with reservations, there's about an hour Wait for a table. In the meantime, we sit at the bar for cocktails. By the time we're seated, I'm famished. The breadbasket arrives with homemade honey-butter. I gorge to absorb the alcohol and my dropping blood sugar. By the time my appetizer arrives, I devour it. The drinks and bread sends my stomach into overdrive as it expands in my innards. Now I'm feeling full, stuffed actually.

Here comes my entree of Alaskan King Crab. I hit up the claws 1st, drenched in drawn butter but can't finish the meal then or I'll explode. So there sits my non pre-frozen Alaskan crab. Premium price. So should I just let the waiter take it and throw it in their trash bin? Of course not! I get that boxed up and hit my salad (another topic) to clean my palette and help out my gall bladder. Relax a bit, order a cappuccino and something off of the dessert menu while the Veuve Cliquot keeps flowing. Then, wait outside with my doggy bag on hand with about $75 worth of king crab while the valet brings the car around...yeah, it's a Benz, bub.

Using the Pope, president or others illuminates your poor, peasant background.

Stop the squawking, the know-it-alling. There are some fans of Datalounge who come from a finer breed and have lived colorful, rich lives. Read and learn. We're gonna call your marginal, trashy ass out as you spread misinformation just for the sake of supporting those who aspire for a better life.

Shut your peasant hole and only contribute about subjects you are familiar with and can be a supportive and genuine member of the DL community.

R122..ha! Using Internet boards to make a point. That's a holiday gift for all of us.

Merci, lower class person on spectrum with 'ideas of reference' paranoia and a touch of mink, um psychosis.

My heart bleeds for you ♡

Suit yourself. And dining in a restaurant is a social situation. What a bunch of cretins on here. No wonder America is world -known for being low class. And, you don't gorge yourself on bread. That's atrocious in a fine restaurant. Reeks of grabbing food and stuffing it in your mouth. Yessh, load up on the cheap stuff and ask for a doggie bag. So sophisticated.

It's always funny to watch people get so violently angry when they've been put in their place.

Using precious and oaf..coining my terms in response, honey, take a spectrumbtest. They're free online. You have a cade of the Aspies and batshitteries.

Cringe for you

Keep it up. This is fun wathig you make a fool of yourself.

I'm having trouble following this cat fight. I can't tell which oaf is in favor of doggie bags and which isn't, but I can tell you that when people use rude language to discribe why they have manners, and their opponent does not, then we have truly arrived at Opposite Day.

Appetizers and bread sticks R136 ? Hmmmm.

Yes, I've been called every name in the book on this thread. It gets tiresome. But it depends on who you're dealig with, I suppose.

R138..hell yeah, gorging on that bread when you're starving and waiting for a table. It's how you gorge on bread (see above, peasant) that makes the difference. I'm in NY and have been to the finest dining establishments. My manners and etiquette is exquisite and worthy of study.

Being me, so many opportunities and a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Shut your peasant hole, you genetic Chernobyl, throwaway kid from trashy parents.

You're out of your league here. Please, stay in your own lane.

"clean my palette"

You might want to wait until after the meal to do that.

Do you know what coining terms means? I did not coin your tern, and you did not coin your term. Unless you were the person who invented the words precious and oaf. Keep it up!

[R145] He must think that restaurants are for painting. See what I mean? Look at who I am dealing with here.

I know the difference between a palette and a palate.

[quote]My manners and etiquette is exquisite and worthy of study.

Unfortunately your command of the English language has yet to catch up.

Well good for you, Skippy!

W&W for you, [R149]

He doesn't know the difference between clean and cleanse in terms of dining and your palate, so don't waste your time.

Oh, and by the way, [R128] I never said that the people I listed 'dined exclusively" at fine dining establishments. YOU inferred that. Please read and absorb what you read, and not make up things to suit your arugment. Try to keep up.

One of you HAS to be that cunt in Brentwood who "canceled Christmas" last year.

R138..hell yeah, gorging on that bread when you're starving and waiting for a table. It's how you gorge on bread (see above, peasant) that makes the difference. I'm in NY and have been to the finest dining establishments. My manners and etiquette is exquisite and worthy of study.

Being me, so many opportunities and a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Shut your peasant hole, you genetic Chernobyl, throwaway kid from trashy parents.

You're out of your league here. Please, stay in your own lane.

[quote]My manners and etiquette is exquisite and worthy of study.

Your grammar is another story.

R153 said 'bye' and that he was 'done' about 10 posts ago.

Posting on a phone. A mobile device. Not sitting on my ass like you, peasant from flyover land and ghetto projects.

Manner and etiquitte ARE, not IS. Keep it up.

Hit every hallmark of being a poor, older black person from projects on assistance.

There's no way you'd ever come within my sphere IRL

'Spater!

[R157] That's because it's so much fun watching these people try to make their argument. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Oh, and now racism is coming into play.

R127..ideas of reference. Do you get that others are so up their own ass that they don't care what others around them are doing in a public setting. Your poor, psychotic self is shining like a beacon.

Why would you care about other diners? Shouldn't you be focused on your dining partners? Dead give away. You grew up on assistance and W.I.C.

Poor, poor and poor and you'll stay that way to your grave. Dumb, envious have- not

Go you have guns at home? Because I'm worried about somebody who is so upset about a minor subject. You are one step away from going postal. Calm down.

I think R127 is leading up to canceling Christmas in Brentwood [italic]again[/italic] this year.

Probably a drinking issue.

LOL!

I'm just picturing a crazy, drunk wino staggering through Brentwood shouting that Christmas is cancelled.

She comes just once a year, and continues to rage about lunatic shit like this long after she's lost.

Sort of like the anti-Santa.

Punch and delete x 1000

RUN, OP, RUN!

See how that works, kids? It's called logical deduction/reasoning. Just negate their own arguments by reversal. Use their own words as rope to hang themselves. If A=B but not C then C does not = A. Then reverse it. LSAT trains one in that train of thought.

Notice how quiet ghetto peasant became? With tail between legs onto another thread or board to attempt to harass people who would never allow this dirty shut in to even orbit in their sphere IRL.

The moral here is: it doesn't matter the circumstances in which you were born. You can always up your station in life but It takes work. Spend your time becoming authentic instead of chasing your tail pretending to be who you really aren't. Genuine articles will notice. Save yourself the embarrassment of the fool above. If you don't know, ask or keep quiet and observe.

[R170] Bravo!

Christmas is saved.

Yay!

R171..bravissimo, actually. Thank you for your comment.

If I could shake your hand, I would. :)

[quote]Here's a little reality check. Picture it. The fine dining establishment is packed. Even with reservations, there's about an hour Wait for a table. In the meantime, we sit at the bar for cocktails. By the time we're seated, I'm famished. The breadbasket arrives with homemade honey-butter. I gorge to absorb the alcohol and my dropping blood sugar. By the time my appetizer arrives, I devour it. The drinks and bread sends my stomach into overdrive as it expands in my innards. Now I'm feeling full, stuffed actually.

[quote] Here comes my entree of Alaskan King Crab. I hit up the claws 1st, drenched in drawn butter but can't finish the meal then or I'll explode. So there sits my non pre-frozen Alaskan crab. Premium price. So should I just let the waiter take it and throw it in their trash bin? Of course not! I get that boxed up and hit my salad (another topic) to clean my palette and help out my gall bladder. Relax a bit, order a cappuccino and something off of the dessert menu while the Veuve Cliquot keeps flowing. Then, wait outside with my doggy bag on hand with about $75 worth of king crab while the valet brings the car around...yeah, it's a Benz, bub.

Damn, you sound unbelievably trashy and gross!

This thread is fucking hilarious. Can't even tell who's arguing with whom because everyone in here is so frothing-at-the-mouth furious over such a trivial topic, launched by a probable troll post. Love the freak who thinks he's an etiquette expert because he knows to use a bread plate and not stick his napkin in his shirt!

Now that really made me laugh out loud!

I was particularily amused by the honey butter. I see that in all fine restaurants, don't you?

Anyone who argues and calls names to try to prove that he has better manners clearly doesn't have the first clue about manners.

Yes, I have to agree with you. I did not put my best foot forward.

It's okay.. you're just sensitive.

LOL!

Yeah R176.. cut to you using that bread plate advice when a dining out experience, rare for you, comes up. You'll be fronting as class with that tip.

It actually changed your life and you'll never, ever forget that gem of wisdom for as long as you shall walk this earth.

B-b-b-ut Mom SAID it was ok to tuck my napkin into my shirt!

So you wouldn't get pasta sauce all over your wife beater, I'm guessing.

Wadda ya mean, wifebeater? I don't wear no shirt!

But did she use a strainer

I'm dying laughing. Where's the Kleenex?

Well, it's alost 9 p.m., and I haven't had dinner yet. First I'm going to knock back some cocktails, then gorge myself on all of the bread I can eat. Then when my non-frozen, premium-priced Alaskan crab gets here, I'm going to tuck unto that motha while swilling Veuve with honey butter. Then, I shall summon my Benz, Good night all! :)

Now I want to know what the cancelled xmas in Brentwood is all about. Missed that one last year, apparently.

R189..you're swilling back some Widow w/out us?

I shall share The Grande Dame with you!

Sure R176..I come off so gross and trashy, righto! Your attempt at shaming someone who has it so much better than you is so transparently tragic.

I've gifted you knowledge of a lifestyle You'll never experience. I'm R185 & R187..

See how that works? You can't shame the real deal.

Cut to you mixing honey into your butter and insisting on only Widow champagne, espousing its superiority to Perrier Jouet and Dom Perignon.

You owe me about $300 in schooling fees. But I'll purchase some Widow with the funds and we'll toast at the Plaza, on 59th street after a walk through the Park.

Mon travaille edt termini/finis ici

Bon Soir, Manques!

Your harship has ended. It's over. Goodbye~!

*hardship*

[quote]I've gifted you knowledge of a lifestyle You'll never experience.

Godlike though I may be, you needn't capitalize the "y" when addressing me.

[quote]You can't shame the real deal.

Indeed, you've made it pretty clear that you are shameless (and trashy and gross).

Now, who's got the scoop on the cancelled xmas in Brentwood?

Dinner's over. My innards have expanded.

I'd like to know the Brentwood story, too.

Veuve Clicquot (note correct spelling) is nothing special, btw.

The Grande Dame is good, but I like Taittinger and Bollinger better.

R200 is kidding, right? That shit should be classified as an illegal drug and is it ever the bargain! Best bang for your buck. Or do you have another suggestion? At that price?

For shame, 201, that crap is swill in comparison to Veuve. Swill. There isn't that drug like high and you'll suffer a nasty hangover the next day. ORANGE LABEL all the way. It's so damn pure, the process.

Ok, I'm just going to walk right by that one.

Wait, trash is Godlike? You've lost. Bow out gracefully.

Took 200 awhile or maybe never to realise that mobile devices change spellings no need to argue or correct spelling mistakes unless you're stuck behind a Dell monitor only getting up to grab fattening snacks from kitchen less than 8 feet away. Who's gross now? Take yourself out, trash.

200 had to look it up to even know what the hell we've all been talking about. Google really is her friend. Her only friend.

So. anybody hve the Brentwood Christmas story?

[quote] Or do you have another suggestion? At that price?

Sure. Pol Roger and Delamotte are nice. I also like several champagnes in that price range from small producers: Pierre Marcuit , José Dhondt, and Cedric Bouchard are great. I'm sure there are other excellent, inexpensive grower-producer champagnes I haven't tried.

Not sparkling wines. There are laws, you know.

[quote]Took 200 awhile or maybe never to realise that mobile devices change spellings

They do, but they wouldn't change "Clicquot" to "Cliquot," neither of which they would recognize. I'm on an iPad right now, and it wants to change both "Clicquot" and "Cliquot" to "colic quit" (as though that makes sense).

[quote]Not sparkling wines. There are laws, you know.

If that was addressed to me, everything I mentioned is an actual champagne, as in, from the Champagne region.

He tries so hard, but it just gets worse and worse.

Veuve is lovely fizz. My preference to Taittinger and Boll.

Perrier Jouët also nice - especially the bottle.

In a blind tasting, Krug was better than Dom.

I will forever eschew Billecarte Salmon.

All totally subjective, of course...

Why didn't the date just use his Kathy Mitchell hot sandwich maker when he got home? Or make something from the dump dinner cookbook? Pasta is cheap.

This was the little thread that could. I laughed I cried. By the way where do you get non-frozen King crab legs? They are from Alaska.

"I care about educating people who dont know better, so I don't have to sit next to them in a fine restaurant and watch them make fools of themselves, and now I give up."

Wow, a teacher AND a martyr. I'm sure you're on the short list for the Nobel prize.

Seriously, this troll is hilarious. But there seems to be a whole lotta crazy that isn't being faked.

[quote]It's always funny to watch people get so violently angry when they've been put in their place.

Says the troll responsible for no less than FIFTY posts in this thread. Putting you on ignore is quite illuminating. At best, you're rather unhealthily obsessed with this topic. Your viewpoint and intensity certainly evolves rapidly after your first post at R4. You go from "your leftovers are yours" to your rather snobbish and classist views of leftovers pretty quickly.

The inconsistency of your earlier posts makes me wonder just what exactly is going on with your posts. Perhaps you're less of a haughty arboter of fine dining etiquette and more of a roving troll who sniffed out a good "angle" once this thread got rolling? Either way, your obsession is laughable.

Honestly, why would you care so much? What an empty life ypu must have. Your meltdown in this thread is quite epic, especially when your 4 dozen-plus replies are isolated and read separately.

*Arbiter

[quote]You're not a true American. You live by rules from TV shows like Dynasty and Gilligan's Island.

I'm stealing this and making it DL's new catch phrase. Its so perfectly "Octogenarian shut-in ranting pointlessly on the internet."

I was once at a wedding where I saw a bridesmaid package up and spirit away the leftover wedding cake when she thought no one was looking. I told on her. She sputtered something about it being for her sister who wasn't able to attend. I don't think they got the cake back.

^petty, it wasn't the Crown Jewels ffs!

I know this is not food focused, but this a good one. I once saw an older woman sitting in the lobby of the St. Francis in SF. She was holding a mirror in one hand, and she was plucking her face with tweezers. In the middle of the lobby of the St. Francis.

LOL @ R136 and his clumsy attempt to pass off a meal at Red Lobster as "fine dining". Here's YOUR little reality check, "bub":

There was no bar and you didn't have pre-dinner drinks. (you were by yourself and got a table for one)

There were no "non pre-frozen" crab legs" (snort--were you at a "fine dining" establishment in Alaska?)

There definitely WAS honey butter? (snicker--the ultimate 'tell')

The legs didn't cost $75 (retail price @ RL is about $35. But you didn't even pay that because you had a coupon)

There was no valet parking or "benz". You parked your Honda in the lot after driving around for 10 mins looking for the closest spot (didn't want to have to waddle too far).

[quote]relax a bit, and order a cappuccino and something off of the dessert menu while the Veuve Cliquot keeps flowing.

Nope. You had the Chocolate Lava Cake and a decaf. Then you left a 10% tip and waddled back out to your Honda and drove home......alone.

No it wasn't food related(r223) you should have started your own thread. Oh the humanity!

Anyone who carries food out of a restaurant is unworthy of my company. Or anyone else's.

R218, SO proud of mastering the Ignore button and learning to count.

Sounds like a cunt. Certainly smells like one.

This never happened.

Along these lines....I once worked for a woman who would raid the staff lunchroom. She would riffle through everyone's lunch and take bites out of sandwiches, eat cookies, and take bags of chips. I caught her one day, and told her she was out of line, she replied, "is my business, I own everything in here and it's all mine". Then, I'll never forget her taking a bite out of Amy's cookie, then tossing it on the counter and saying, "it's dry", and walking back to her office.

[R229] Your co-worker sounds like such a lovely woman. :/

[quote] "colic quit" (as though that makes sense)

It makes perfect sense if you've ever been around a crying infant.

This has become a pissing contest about class which has been fun to read but getting back to topic...

1. Leftovers are the property of the host and s/he can disperse them or not. People should not grab or steal or announce ownership of said leftovers. You can ask to take some home if you're friends or family. Vegans should take their stuff because no one else wants it.

2. As a server on and off throughout my education, NO ONE CARES if you ask for leftovers to be wrapped up. (In fact, I remember an untouched $36 lobster getting dumped and rolling my eyes.) We only care about providing good service so that we get a good tip.

Well said ^

R176 Ordering a cappucino after DINNER? What a pretentious loser.

Cappuccino

Vaginal wall at R234 can't even SPELL "cappuccino."

One of the better threads in a while. What makes it special is the thought of innocent people who google a question about leftover etiquette will find it.

Love the pettiness of the bitch fights that derail threads here. The rudeness and nastiness of the battlers, all over which one understands etiquette!

R220, I think that the ones who live by rules from "Gilligan's Island" and "Dynasty" ARE the true Americans.

Former server here, and I can echo what other servers have said. Restaurant staffers do not care if you ask for to-go boxes. It is usually an indicator that you enjoyed the food. I do remember despising bitchy women who wanted to take home minuscule items packed separately. Whatever container was provided, it was too big/small/just not right. Screw you, Goldilocks. I winced whenever freshly killed crabs or lobsters were discarded barely touched.

I have fond memories of taking my elderly bachelor father to interesting restaurants in LA, and ordering multiple different entrees. We, and especially he, got to try some great dishes, plus the leftovers made some really nice meals for him later.

Who is dredging up these old threads all day long?

Love you 240!

Don't Americans know how gross it is to take leftover food home, and potentially unhealthy that is. Its been touched by cutlery that has been in your mouth, and maybe hands and it remains out of a cold environment for hours for all those bacteria to multiply. Yuck.

Seek help for your OCD, R243.

Sorry, I was so transfixed by the hilarious high-class cappuccino/Veuve Clicquot troll I didn't even glance at any of the post dates. Didn't mean to ruffle your feathers.

....

R241, it was R240.

I always wanted my mother’s leftovers, but I never want mine. I’m a perfectly good cook, I think it’s just a psychological thing.

R240 I think it's frowned upon in Europe though, non?

[quote] No, I'm older, and that was the way we were raised.

To be prissy and to waste food. Got it.

[quote] Love the pettiness of the bitch fights that derail threads here. The rudeness and nastiness of the battlers, all over which one understands etiquette!

The basis for both "Seinfeld" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

Whatever is left on your plate, whether you paid for it or not....is for you to take home as leftovers.

I don't like to waste food. I have no problem with leftovers. Bring me a container, please...

R251 A gay version of Curb could be quite exhausting.

How did you happen to meet this piece of shit?

R221 tattled to whom?

OP, you should have slapped him for getting out of line!

The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again. The 2015 DUMB TROLL is SPIRALING again.

OP you need to dump this clown. He is ill-mannered.

Does the Pope really eat in restaurants?

Why not just order enough food that you can eat in the restaurant?

This seems to be an American thing, along with massive serving sizes of very average food.

[quote] Is there a rule for proper etiquette for who gets the leftovers from a meal? I'd always assumed that the person who pays for the meal can take their leftovers home but tonight at dinner my date thought he was entitled to my leftovers. For a second I was a bit shocked by him grabbing my leftovers, especially since I'd told him I was looking forward to eating the leftovers for lunch tomorrow, but I told him no, I paid for dinner and my leftovers were mine. He then said that because I make more money

And that should have been when you left and never spoke with him ever again.

You do not need to waste any more time with this man who already feels you owe him.

r261 i think people want to feel they're getting their money's worth.... Quantity over quality.

R52- If others hadn't arrived yet for Christmas dinner than those Cabbage Rolls were NOT leftovers.

R55- Not at Shake Shack. I've only eaten there once. A year ago this month. I would have gone to Jersey Mike's Subs but for some reason they were closed that day. I paid $15 for a small hot dog , a small serving of fries and a small chicken sandwich- those children's portions were the ONLY sizes they offered so not every place serves BIG portions or even medium sized portions. The food was tasty but I have not been back since.

A lot of the comments here belong on the thread Let's Be An Insufferable Pretentious Asshole

So somebody ressurrected a zombie thread. OP if you are still alive, I hope you let him take the leftovers, then roophied and carefully butchered him so that you got your leftovers second ..handed.

That is a pitiful way to end a dinner date . Wrestling for table scraps? No thank you . Get away now.

[quote]especially since I'd told him I was looking forward to eating the leftovers for lunch tomorrow

Sounds like a power move.

Also, as an European, I've never experienced being served so much food that there would be enough to take home as leftovers. The 'doggy bag' thing seems to be uniquely American.

Oh fuck the Europeans . What does that have to do with OPs post. Why do you post here if you feel so superior to Americans?

R270 It.. isn't about superiority. Just an interesting cultural difference.

Leftovers should be distributed to the poors at the mansion gate after the meal.

In a home, the host obviously keeps all leftovers.

If it's potluck or dishes were brought, whoever brought the dish should be offered whatever remains.

If you're in a restaurant, no matter who paid, if it came off your plate, you can take it - although why anyone would want food scraped from another person's plate is beyond me. If it's split sides, whoever paid gets them. If you shared, then split them.

It's not etiquette - it's basic common courtesy. Gluttony and greed generally fall outside common courtesy, as well as etiquette for that matter.

r259, this post is 7 years old. Everyone involved is probably dead by now.

Yep.

R267

bump

Fighting over leftovers? What are you, dogs? Such class. You deserve each other.

[quote] this post is 7 years old. Everyone involved is probably dead by now. —DEAD I tells ya

Lol.

Who's bumping all these old.threads, and why?

^ ^ ^ This is another reason why the "Anonymous" thing here is counterproductive.

bump

Bump