Why do you live in New York City?

I want to know too. I might take a job there. On the plus side, COLA would figure in to my negotiations.

I'm ready for a quieter and less expensive place to live, but I'm still here in NYC to take care of my mom. She's in her late 80s and has no intention of moving.

The endless stream of good-looking men. I've had more than one visitor to NY comment on that.

The noticeable absence of white trash.

We've lived here for a long time, so I suppose it's a form of inertia. Also, we own a house, so rents aren't a factor except the rent that we charge to our tenant. We have friends and family here. My partner has health issues, so it's important to live in a city with top-tier medical care. Everybody bitches about the subway, but public transportation is excellent here. You really don't have to drive, which is a big plus in my book, especially now that I'm nearing the age of dotage. Old people in NYC have a better quality of life and a greater degree of independence. My mother lived in a suburb of Chicago and before she died at 84, I used to worry about her driving because she had Meniere's disease. In NYC, it's possible to get around quite nicely without a car.

Our next-door-neighbor is cashing in, selling her house which she's owned since the 90s, and moving to South Carolina. That would not be an option for us, for many reasons. That's the way to do it, though, move to a cheaper place. One-bedroom condos in our neighborhood are selling for $1 million plus, so the only place to move would be some crappy red state. I do hate the constant construction in our Brooklyn neighborhood, though. It's noisy and inconvenient and when I look out the window, I see high rises. It's not my neighborhood anymore.

NYC is officially the most expensive city in the world.

I lived in NYC for 25 years but have recently moved to Tampa to help take care of my hubby's elderly parents.

I left kicking and screaming but now wish I had done this years ago! Love the calmness and lack of crowds. Now when l visit nyc, I hate the noise and pollution--the city is just ugly.

OP, are you confusing "New York City'" which is five boroughs and 300-square miles, with Manhattan, one of the five? Manhattan is the "New York, NY:" Liza and Frank sang about. The home of Broadway, Wall Street, Rockefeller Center, and Central Park.

The variety and brisk tempo of life in NYC is appealing.

The concentration of large numbers of people from all walks of life - the gym will have hedge fund managers, starving actors, and middle-rung corporate VPs. Oddly, while it's expensive, economics are not the sole differentiator which separates people from each other in daily activities.

With so many people, there are literally hundreds of groups you can join - if you look at Meet-up, there are many groups for each topic, rather than just one. The concentration allows for local access to classes, groups, hobbyists for all interests which don't exist in other locations.

Almost anything you want can and will be delivered to your doorstep - at all hours of the day or night. Almost all restaurants deliver until very late in the evening.

I visited Brooklyn, Queens, and Manhattan last spring. It was only a week, so I didn't get to see that much. But for what it's worth, I was impressed by how dirty and noisy it was everywhere. Lots of ugly scaffolding but it didn't look like anyone was in a hurry using it. The subway was pretty functional.

I live in a city now, and travel a little bit, and NY was by far the ugliest of what I've seen.

Where do you go to the bathroom when away from home?

If this thread doesn't bring IDunno back then nothing will.

[quote]Where do you go to the bathroom when away from home

It always pays to know where there is a Starbucks or NYSC location nearby.

As a visitor there in the spring, it smelled pretty rank. Is it standard practice for businesses to leave giant bags of trash on the sidewalk 24/7 for collection?

Haven't been there in a while. Is it worse than SF where people openly drop a deuce on the sidewalks?

Re the dirt and ugliness: people come to NYC expecting to see streets paved with gold and everyone dressed to the nines. In reality, it's just not like that. Yes, there are manicured, old money 'hoods like Sutton Place and most of Park Avenue, but for the most part New York is very come-as-you-are and imperfect. That's part of its charm and appeal.

We were in Kew Gardens this past Summer. They had nicer flower gardens, shrubs and lawns than what we have here in the country because there are no deer to eat it all.

R5, I'm not sure I believe that ranking.There is no way Chicago is more expensive to live in than Los Angeles. I realize they use other variables to determine the rankings, not just rent costs, but I'm still skeptical.

Try getting Chinese food delivered at 3AM in Tampa, R6.

Because I'm a Rich Bitch

Re: bathrooms in NYC. Just go into any hotel.

I feel bad for the people who grew up in Manhattan and want to stay, but can't afford it.

OP you write like an American. Do explain.

I don't understand why San Francisco was completely left out of that article R5. It is just as expensive as Manhattan these days unfortunately but for some reason that list completely excluded it.

And honestly there is no better place to be a gay man than New York. I don't live there but I get the appeal.

R22: The way I spell "theater" should give away that I am not an American.

R24, theater is the American spelling. "re" is French and British.

Theatre is also Canadian (English) spelling.

r26, Canadians use the spelling in honor of their heritage. When did Canada stop playing "God Save the Queen" after "O Canada" when radio and TV stations signed-off?

New York, New York, so nice they named it twice.

OP, what you'll see from most New Yorkers on this thread is humble bragging. It's either middle-class twats who've made good with a job at a law firm or a creative type trying to survive. New York is over and offers nothing for either. They are barely hanging on.

I live in NYC because I, literally, drew the short straw. There were three of us working in the investment firm. One was going to Rome, the second to Paris, and the third to NYC. We drew straws: I lost. I hope to be transferred soon, as my colleague in Rome took another position.

R24, I usually spell it "theatre," and I am American.

But you pronounce it "THEahTUH" right?

[quote]. New York is over and offers nothing for either. They are barely hanging on.

Bullshit, the population of New York City is GROWING. And it's the only northeastern city (that's not a suburb) that is growing and it's growing by leaps. Only out west and south do you get that.

Why? Because people want to move there. That's why it's expensive. Demand, demand and demand.

[quote]And it's the only northeastern city (that's not a suburb) that is growing

What horseshit. Boston, Providence, Philadelphia, DC are all growing, not shrinking.

[quote]And honestly there is no better place to be a gay man than New York. I don't live there but I get the appeal.

I have never seen a more idiotic statement. I would never set foot in NYC again and I could never complain about my life as a gay man.

Came to NYC for college and fell in love with the city. Greatest years of my life. Took me a while but now I have a sweet job and an amazing place. However, landlords here are evil. Currently in a legal battle to become rent controlled but if that fails, I won't be able to afford a place as nice as my mine in my current area. The period after college and before my current situation sucked though.

PLEASE!!!

Could someone start a thread for me. I don't have permission to open one and I've been trying for a couple days.

Thread is about the Judy Garland Show episodes and the Merv Griffin Show episodes coming to broadcast TV.

Thanks.

R3 hasn’t been to the outer boroughs.

The mad bumper has returned!

I sometimes ask myself the same thing, OP.

I moved to NYC in 1999 initially to help my family out with a house we inherited.

OP, I live here now because I have a good career here, I'm getting a decent salary. I'm not rich, but I don't know that I'd be able to earn as much elsewhere in the region.

I like the fact that for the most part all types of people are, in general, welcomed and accepted here. I own an apartment. I live in an outer borough near a huge park, I can get into Manhattan easily but into the upstate suburbs quickly also. There are other Hispanics and other gay guys in my neighborhood, so I feel comfortable here. A lot of people come to NYC because they'll find a community of like / similar people and won't be alone.

I've not thought about moving, but I do love enjoy Kansas City MO. I'd only move to an area near a large metropolitan area: Kansas City or Washington DC or Philadelphia. I'd only move if I was offered a new job.

I chuckled, OP, at your inquiry about whether people are staying in NYC because of the theater. While, that's not applicable to me or my friends / family /neighbors, there are a number of gay guys for whom that is true. There are people like that whose life and mind revolve around theater and culture. They'll see a show two or three times a week.

What a great answer, r40!

Plain ol' snobbery.

I never understand the bitching about "gentrification".

People all want to live in the nicest place or area they can afford, what is so heinous about that? Your friends are likely seen as the gentrifiers, and they are just trying to live someplace, they aren't doing anything wrong. Just because I or anyone has lived in a neighborhood a long time, doesn't mean I own it or get to pick only other people of my race or class to join me. That's actually a racist and disordered theory.

Yes, the old gets pushed out often, and people move, same as always. You want to stay somewhere? Buy a building, or apartment with your friends and family, again, same as always. Greedy landlords are always a problem, but soon they'll be stuck with valueless commercial space, and this isn't new either.

Almost 50% of the people I know who live in New York admit that it isn't the city it once was. In the old days (10 years ago) people visited New York to shop, enjoy the theatre and have great food. Now shops are closing because of high rent. Tourism is down and restaurants and Broadway will suffer too. Because of the virus, people have realized that they can work remotely and have a better lifestyle somewhere else. It will take years for the city to recover if it does at all. Times have changed and New York has to change with it.

R44, shops are closing because of Amazon and tourism hit a record high last year.

I get allergic smelling hay.

Ater 9-11 there was a mini exodus to the Hudson Valley and suburbs. It didn't last long. Living in the suburbs and beyond takes commitment that isn't for many people. If you like not having to drive everywhere, paying for a handyman, paying for someone to shovel snow or mow then you're not going to leave a city environment regardless of whether or not you can work from home.

The city has been slowly slipping into the mess it was in the 1970s. It began in the Bloomberg administration. He was more about creating a nanny state and the actual governing of the city slipped. De Blasio is a total fuck up who hasn't done anything right and doesn't know how to lead. Governor Cuomo has racked up a huge amount of debt for the state, which will have to be shouldered by NYC. Unless New York votes wisely next year for both mayor and governor, New York City will come crashing down under a huge amount of debt and poor leadership.

The gubernatorial election isn't until Nov 2022.

[quote]The gubernatorial election isn't until Nov 2022.

Aw, shit. I thought New York was on the same cycle in voting for mayor and governor. We're stuck with that goombah for another 2 years?

Possibly longer than that r50, as he is seeking a 4th term.

[quote]Possibly longer than that [R50], as he is seeking a 4th term.

He's racked up some serious debt for New York State and people are leaving faster than they're coming. And with NYC largely shut down and not producing tax revenue, it's not looking good for the Empire State.

Left NYC for Chicago. Best decision I’ve ever made. I have a little bit more room to spread out and the cost of living is way way less. My apartment is 10 times bigger. The gay scene is really fun! Jesus and the guys are super hot.

R52 the problem in NY predates cuomo and is probably bigger than any one governor can solve. Too many rent seekers, too many special interests and sacred cows, and too many cooks and too much corruption. NY has been in decline long before cuomo and I think this is what finishes the state off. Even the inevitable federal bailout of the states won’t be enough to save it.

Sad, but true.

Massive public sector layoffs are coming. Cops, firemen, teachers, sanitation - across everything.

Once that happens, chaos will erupt.

It used to be for the "arts" scene: cabaret; theater, Broadway and Off-Broadway; dance; Carnegie Hall; the Met Opera and the crusing scene, but I'm not much into any of that any more at my advanced age.

Plus living in a coop is endless headaches from neighbors especially those above you and noise issues which can be horrendous and without any easy solution.

And, friend base is way down--all dead or we're still not speaking to each other after all these years.

As Dietrich sang, "Allein in einer Grossen Stadt".

I bought a place (tiny but very nice on a high floor in midtown east) when I was younger and have lived in it off and on since then. It has been a good investment. I do sense that the City is noisier and more aggressive than I recall, but will probably keep the co-op and use it winters after I retire. I like the access to nice food and things, but honestly can get close to the same quality things in most cities now. It may depend on where my friends settle in the future, and family. When I first moved to NYC from Connecticut in 1998 after school, I felt sort of stressed out on weekends, like I had to do and see more than I felt like, because it was all right there (MOMA, Film Forum, etc.). Now I prefer to stay in, and hang out with friends in their homes (my ex lives in a rent stabilized walk up on the upper east side). I hope I still enjoy the City when I retire in a few years. I really like the food market at Grand Central and also the independent cinema, but I know that may go away over time. Maybe I’d be just as happy anywhere as long as I have a tub to soak in, a fireplace, a gas cooker, books and decent WiFi.

Family but considering options for a move out of here.

I do sometimes look on Zillow and see what I could buy from the sale of my place in NYC. I see some small places on the coast in Maine that look tempting. With technology and amazon and streaming services, maybe it will seem less isolated and more peaceful when I’m older. I also look at coastal properties down south, and in Northern California, too. It’s a trade-off.

R53, that's what I hear from most friends who have moved. They miss it a little, but have no regrets. A few would like to come back, but there are more in the other category. I guess it depends though. I have a native nyer friend who married a guy from Florida. She wouldn't mind moving there, but he said he doesn't want to move back.

I moved to NYC for grad school when I was young. I was enthralled by it after growing up in shitty boring Midwestern environs. Was easier to stay for first job and then career, and I also developed a network of friends. I was in Manhattan for about 6-7 years and then Brooklyn for another 18. Moved across the river to a still overpriced Jersey City and commute (pre-COVID) to work in Manhattan.

I plan to leave when I retire. I’m drawn to Palm Springs or Santa Fe but nothing are also pricey. Metro NYC has lost its appeal to me, but career wise as someone in his mid-50s it makes more sense to stay.

For starters, My husband's job pays for the apartment. We've lived and worked above the George Washington bridge for 20 years. It's like another world up here and getting better every year. The parks are beautiful. It's safe, diverse, fun and there are hot men OF EVERY SINGLE FLAVOR everywhere. When I visit my family in Florida, I can go the whole week without seeing even 1 hot guy.

Yes, NY isn't what it used to be but neither is your shitty town. Oh, and we don't have MAGATs. From memory, I think TRump got 65, 000 votes from Manhattan. 4pct of the population voted for him.

The prices are insane. My roommate writes about it and I have been tempted when we visited the city but forget it. Even Harlem is getting steep. IF we get transferred to the NYC offices once the lockdown is over, we may still have to room and in a much crappier place until we both find someone. On the upside, we both think that the single and cultural scene may be worth it. But the prices! We both doubt the pandemic and riots will affect it much.

R62 - ok but Inwood is one of the most affordable neighborhoods of NYC according to my colleague. She says it is beating out Washington Heights and certainly the hell Jamaica Hills has become. She is an NYC expert. That is why I am curious as to what kind of stores, demographics, and gay scene do you have? (I am too embarrassed to ask her more since it's past midnight here and all).

Born and raised here, and bought a house in a remote area of Brooklyn when it was still affordable. We paid it off a couple of years ago, so now property tax+ insurance is only about $550/month. Plan on dying in this same house, never went anywhere else that I thought I’d like better. NYC is not cheap or convenient but for some of us, it’s a really good place to be.

R65 - the whole reason I would consider moving out there and still rooming with my colleague for awhile is because we found it was so much more convenient than LA. No hours on the freeway (would buy something where there is access to public transportation, especially as I am hitting 48 this year and have health issues and she has sickle cell anemia so she has to constantly pull over). Also a quick 8 hours from Europe. However, it the question is whether things will be more affordable. I would sell my condo in LA.

R66: I don’t think it is more expensive than LA, and yes, there is good public transportation (normally) and no need to even have a car if you don’t want to, especially with Zipcars and Uber. I agree, the driving involved with LA is a lot more intense!

I live in Brooklyn in a really nice a neighborhood. The only thing keeping me here is my lease.

R62, NYC consists of more than Manhattan, which most folks have realized for past 15 years. When I moved here in 1989, most folks who would have been on this site IG it had existed would have only considered Manhattan between Houston (maybe Canal) and 86th (maybe 96th) habitable. No Inwood let alone Brooklyn. Unfortunately, NYC does have MAGA infestations on Staten Island (majority voted for Trump) and a few Isolated neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Still city as a whole is not MAGA dominant by a long shot.

[quote]My husband's job pays for the apartment. We've lived and worked above the George Washington bridge for 20 years.

Is he the keeper at the Little Red Lighthouse?

Whats a better nieghbor hood in Manhattan...Chelsea, Hells Kitchen, West Village, Washington Square ?

I’ve been here 2 decades and I’m planning on leaving late 2020 or early 2021.

I loved my time here but always knew I’d eventually leave but all that’s happened this year has probably sped up the amount of time I have left.

I loved this city mainly cause I was always seeking adventure. I’d have access to the best of NYC and partied my ass off with friends. I slept with all types of beautiful men and lived the life of a hip yet eye rolling HBO show.

Now I’m getting older and it’s changed. I no longer party, I am no longer “nyc cool”, and my drug/alcohol intake has diminished drastically. There’s no more “excitement” in my life which to me means no drama. Back when I was “cool” I was involved in drama. I’m also married now so dating isn’t appealing either.

I’ve gotten NYC out of my system. I want a big backyard now. I don’t for a second regret my time here though but it’s over.

Been here 30 years. Rent stabilized apartment so rent isn’t that much more expensive than say, Tampa. The NYC I loved has passed and sometimes I wonder if I’ve “stayed too long at the fair”. But it is invigorating and provides an environment of acceptance and independence mixed with the ability to interact constantly due to the sheer volume of people.

Other cities have a lot of what NYC has now. But the people and the density are unique and attractive to me. I still have moments of awe - but they are not as important to me now. I also think it’s an easy place to get old and not drive - yet still be engaged in the world unlike most places in US.

R62, I loved your post about your neighborhood in INWOOD.

I'd like to tell you about my neighborhood Riverdale in Bronx County, sometimes identified as one of the best places to live in New York!. Living in Riverdale offers residents a suburban verdant feel. There's easy and quick access to Westchester County, points north, New England and Manhattan. Most residents own homes, condominiums or co-ops. In Riverdale there are a lot of greenspaces, bars, restaurants, coffee shops, and parks. Many families, gay couples, retirees live in Riverdale and residents tend to be liberal and a variety of mixed ethnic backgrounds.

R62, Riverdale is ripe for a tasteful friends post. LOL r70, you're very astute. That was one of my favorite books as a child. In fact, my one sentence response to OP is - The same things I loved as a child I still love today.

I moved to New Jersey when I was 10, 20 miles from NY. The first time I rode my bike to the top of the hill and saw the Manhattan skyline, it was like OZ. The imagery was reinforced the first time he drove us to the city for the first time. You come off the Pulaski Skyway and you're hit in the face with the skyline up close. I can still feel the same thrill today. I've been fortunate to live and work in other great places, but NY is home.

I went to Fort Tryon park the other night and with the 8 o'clock curfew the parks are filled with thirsty people of all persuasions. Anyone can get laid if they go to the park at 6pm. We all have to be home by 8, it's the perfect one night stand scenario. LOL For the first time in my life I saw women cruising for sex.

[quote] here is no way Chicago is more expensive to live in than Los Angeles.

As a Chicagoan, I agree. Los Angeles is way more expensive, ESPECIALLY if you are planning on buying real estate. There's just no comparison. You can live in some of the most popular neighborhoods in a one-bedroom for like $1500 in Chicago. I doubt that's possible in LA.

r73, that's my story exactly.

R73's is right - NYC's people and density is addictive. The street life and fast pace is addictive - it creates adrenaline.

However, until you've lived out of the city for a couple of months, your body starts to change and relax. It honestly does take that long to get it out of your system.

Then you realize - wow, I was really wound up! And you can see other ways of living are possible. The draw and excitement of NYC is really like nowhere else. But it is absolutely physically addicting IMO.

I live in NYC from June to October. I feel alive and happy there. Simply wonderful each and every day. Each day is a new adventure. I would love to live there full time but I’m elderly and worry about how winter would be with snow, slick streets and lugging groceries in bad weather. But for me, NYC is really the center of the world.

It's really amusing to me when people talk about doing things in NYC that can be done in so many cities all across the world.

People are jealous of and fear New Yorkers.

CA lifer here---SF and LA and back to SF

I regret not living in NYC when I was in my 20s. I think the energy and attractions of the city (pros) vs. the sacrifices and tradeoffs (cons) are best shouldered at that age. By one's mid-30s the desire to pay the cons for the pros starts losing its appeal.

I'm 45 now and after 3 months of staying at home, my partner and I realize we actually hate being out in the city world to a greater degree than we realized. We are actually looking at moving out into suburbia in a few years. Especially now that one can experience a lot from home --- entertainment, exercise, UberEats/Doordash, Amazon, WFH.

I will agree with the above poster who noted the absence of white trash. Really this goes for any city. Whites have all the privilege in this country... so if you are white trash you really are the most undesirable of the undesirable.

I'm sorry, but NYC is a very inconvenient place to live. I like living in a city with good energy, but grocery shopping and everything else on buses and subways, and then the small spaces so you really can't entertain except at public places like bars restaurants clubs. I lived there for three years and hated it.

R82 That's mean. You can't expect everyvwgite person to achieve what white people have achieved as a race the works is full of ordinary folk.

That said, white trash are not cosmopolitan not metropolitan not urbane. Those who are white trash and move to new York shed the trappings of their trashiness. That's the whole point of moving to a city.

R83 No, it's the truth.

White peoole have expected blacks and browns and yellows to conform to their white standards FOR-EVAH.

Time for them to swallow their own medicine.

I have lived in NYC for 17 years. It has been a great experience, but has costs like any other place. My husband is a college professor, so that's our primary reason. I own a small business which provides creative services for companies that have either maxed out or don't carry their own staff. Lots of clients in NYC. We have a 2 bedroom condo we bought 15 years ago for $500K. We currently owe $150K. Before the pandemic is was worth $900K. God only knows what it's worth now. Can't dwell on that. It is what it is. When it's worth less than $150K, I'll worry. The plusses are - the people, I've made dear friends since arriving, the mass transit even though it's problematic, proximity to other interesting places, air transport, the museums & theater, being close to water, 4 seasons, Central Park, the sense of history. The downside? So much, but I've never lived anywhere that didn't have its share of issues.

It's the only place you can get a decent bagel.

Montreal has better bagels than NYC and also better smoked meats. And those French Canadian men are so fucking direct, comparatively charming and horny all the time.

I lived in NYC (Chelsea) for 13 years before moving to Jersey City. I love the energy, convenience, restaurants, theaters, shopping and gay scene! Also, it is always easy to find work there in my industry. I moved to Jersey City (right across the Hudson literally) to save a few thousand a month and for a nicer/quieter area for my daughter. While I like Paulus Hook for now, I am moving back to NYC as soon as she goes to college!

R89 à fellow DLer in Jersey City. I’m in Harsimus Cove, Downtown.

Hi R90!👍

Lived in NYC for 45 years and owned a house in Brooklyn for 35 years. NYC real estate is probably the best investment you can make if you're smart and careful. My husband and I bought a brownstone in Fort Greene, Brooklyn in 1982 - one subway stop from Manhattan and 15 minutes on the Q train to Times Square. No one would visit us because of the crime. But the house was big and beautiful, the neighborhood was gentrifying, and we made lots of friends.

Jump ahead to 2010, and we're looking for a place to spend those cold winters away from New York. We checked out Fort Lauderdale, Palm Springs, and Hawaii. We ended up buying a condo in Hawaii where we stayed January through April and then rented out for the rest of the year. Surprisingly, we loved it. Our other friends in Brooklyn were following the same path - spending more and more time in places way from New York. In 2017, we decided to make a really big move - sell the Brooklyn House and buy a house in Hawaii. We kept the Oahu condo and moved to a beautiful home on the Big Island. All of this was made possible by the sale of our Brooklyn home for an obscene price, approximately 55 times what we paid in 1982. So our home became our retirement strategy and along with our 401Ks, has created an opportunity we never ever imagined we would have.

So, to answer your question, we lived in NYC because we loved it, and were able to carve out a life that was affordable and worked for us. When it no longer worked for us in the way we needed, we moved on - better for the experience.

My mom always said that nothing is forever, so enjoy it while you can, and then move on. She was absolutely right.

(sigh) It seems like Baghdad or Kabul are the only cool cities nowadays.

Earrings

Caftans!

I spent two months in NYC last year and loved it. It's one of the few places in the US I'd move to in a snap. Far more character than most cities, and I've had the good fortune to live and travel all over the world. Plus, the cosmopolitan mix, the entertainment and cultural scene, and the green spaces.

That said, while the gay/sexual scene there is fun, I think it is slightly edged out by London personally.

I spent two months in NYC last year and loved it. It's one of the few places in the US I'd move to in a snap. Far more character than most cities, and I've had the good fortune to live and travel all over the world. Plus, the cosmopolitan mix, the entertainment and cultural scene, and the green spaces.

That said, while the gay/sexual scene there is fun, I think it is slightly edged out by London personally.

[quote] That said, while the gay/sexual scene there is fun, I think it is slightly edged out by London personally.

Slightly? London has always had a better gay scene than NYC.

R92 your lives sound blissful - congratulations!

Partner and I are in SF now and over these last five years, compounded by these last three months, I've gotten this overwhelming sense of "our time here is winding down." Oddly enough, life is pretty good. Awesome actually. We have a home we love, jobs we love, and routines we love.

Yet at the beginning of the year I kept thinking "this is great, perfect almost, and that's the sign something else is waiting."

You and your Mom sound like very insightful folks. Hope we can pull off what you did!

[quote] London has always had a better gay scene than NYC.

Others have said this wasn't true until the 00s. Basically, 9/11 accelerated the decline of NYC's gay scene is what I'm always hearing.

reply 136 2 hours ago

My rent for a studio in Wash Heights in a no frills building went up 30% 18 months ago when I renewed the lease. It was take it or leave it and I was stuck because moving is costly and I like my small space because it is comfortable and safe.

I am dreading the renewal increase in Feb 2021, but am hopeful that the rental market will finally stop climbing and level off or God Help us all, go down a little bit. That would be the silver lining, but I am not optimistic.

Anyone else hopeful the Manhattan rental market might level off in price?

I live in Manhattan and prefer to live here or in the country (I mean real country, where your neighbors are not close by at all). I can't stand suburbs and the other boroughs make me vomit. Small towns are too cliquey as well as boring.

I live in a rent stabilized (quiet) apartment downtown. I got it back in the early 90s and underbid for it during the economic downturn back then. Previously I had lived in studios and hated living here. Downtown is where I love living and yes, I'm very involved in the arts.I love not owning a car and being able to walk out to the corner convenience store to pick up what I need at any hour. Before the pandemic, I was a regular attendee of various arts events/theater.

I also have a medical condition that very few doctors know how to treat, but I've got two who take good care of me and have greatly improved my quality of life. I'm pretty sure I would be on my own health-wise if I lived in the country, which has appalling medical service. Back when I lived in studios, I seriously looked into moving to other U.S. cities, but never found one that offered what NYC did.

There is only one city that I've always wanted to live in (and did while I was a student for nearly 3 years) and that is London. I feel like it's my spiritual home, but I have never found a way to legally live/work there, even after years of trying. I have to make do with visits.

After a while, you don't need new York. But when you did there's no place on earth like this city.

Technically it is the capital of the world as the UN is based there. But politically, financially, economically, and socially, it's not in the top league in anything really. It's not a dynamic place that will create the future of our world. It's a legacy of past power and wealth.

Gay men came there to run away from their horrific home towns to prove if they can make it there, they can make it anywhere, it's all up to... New York, New York. #ImBetterThanYou

It's 2020. No one is impressed by that anymore. Enjoy your studio apartment and "walking everywhere."

Care to share what your medical condition is R102?

I love NYC - but there is a greater good in having people move into and out of the city. They take the knowledge they learn from the city and move other places and I have to believe, make them better.

I don't believe anyone who has lived in NYC for a while moves somewhere else and becomes a deplorable.

[quote] Others have said this wasn't true until the 00s. Basically, 9/11 accelerated the decline of NYC's gay scene is what I'm always hearing.

I guess everyone has a different experience. I live in NYC and I started going to London in the 90s. I found the scene in London much more friendly. There seemed to be more average guys in London and by average I mean not muscle queens and not the earrings and caftan cadavers. Yes, there were those types in London, but you could also find guys that were just normal guys.

R108 - I think there's much more of a 'bloke' culture in England in general. Plus, they tend to drink more and have pub culture - so it's not surprising there's a better scene now than NYC.

English people take down others who put on airs - they know a classist culture and know you aren't part of that class and will let you know it.

Refreshing - although I do find the English class structure infuriating.

[quote] Refreshing - although I do find the English class structure infuriating.

I find it interesting as well. I'm currently reading Andrew Morton's book about Diana. I was a teenager when she came on the scene and I didn't pay much attention to her background. The press kept saying she was a kindergarten teacher. I had always thought that she was just a commoner plucked from obscurity. I didn't realize that she had played with Andrew and Edward as a child, that she attended Christmas parties at Sandringham and that the Queen was godmother to Diana's brother. Diana's grandmother was a Lady In Waiting to the Queen mother.

Oh, lordy, R110, have you not seen the Spencer family estate, currently held by her brother, where Diana grew up and is now buried (on her own island)?

I think she was actually an aide at a kindergarten - she didn't have the qualifications to teach. If they weren't bright enough to work at a private art gallery, that's the sort of job gels like that would have until they could snag an Earl or a baron. Di's sights were set higher, of course.

Returning to the thread - how can anyone go to the theatre twice a week in New York? Off-Broadway, maybe, but even straight plays on Broadway are over $300 these days. The top musicals are staggering prices.

I live far out in Brooklyn, which might as well be a suburb, but I have to stay in the NYC area because my entire family is here, and it is the center of the world for musical theatre.

[quote]Returning to the thread - how can anyone go to the theatre twice a week in New York? Off-Broadway, maybe, but even straight plays on Broadway are over $300 these days. The top musicals are staggering prices.

I used to belong to several discount services. Getting tickets off one of the papering services used to be a great way to see shows, except you either got a seat on the front row or the very last row! But even the papering services started drying up and not offering quality shows.

R111 and R113 there are also lotteries, rush, standing room, discount codes/promotions, TKTS booths, etc. Some shows also have different prices at the box offices depending on the seat location and the day. I see as many Broadway shows as I can and don’t know that I’ve ever paid more than $70 or so.

I have visited several times over many years, and have seen big changes. Times Square is unrecognisable now from what it used to be. I love New York for a visit. I’m not sure I would enjoy loving there. I lived in London for many years, and left because long commutes every day on top of work became exhausting.

I’ve lived here my whole adult life (25 years), built my career here plus my mom lives about 20 miles outside the city and I need to be close by for her. Those are my reasons.

But literally fuck Manhattan. It sucks (pre-Covid). Someone mentioned that the outer boroughs make them vomit...but most of the unique color, character and energy of NYC is now in Brooklyn and Queens. Sorry it just is. That’s where the best food is, bars, venues, cool cultural events, etc.

Again. This is all Pre-Covid. Who knows what the city will become now. But my husband has another decade in the DOE before he can retire ..so we stay. We’ll probably end up in the Hudson Valley, in one of the bougie towns like Rhinebeck or Hudson. I also wouldn’t mind living out the rest of our years in our current apt. We have a massive rent stabilized one-bedroom in Ditmas Park. I love it out here. Some streets are ridiculously beautiful and it is a truly diverse neighborhood.

You've got to have a lot of time to get what you want from any of those things, though, R114, which is something I didn't think most New Yorkers had.

R117 it’s easier than it was even a few years ago since almost everything these days is done with the click of a button- you just have to have multiple options for a given night and be open in terms of what you see and where you sit.