Why are you an exclusive bottom?
So, I've asked this question of exclusive bottom friends / fbs, but I'm curious to hear from others: If you're an exclusive bottom, can you tell us.. why? I'm vers - I top about 70% of the time, but I love bottoming, too, so I totally understand why bottoming is amazing. But, so is topping. I mean feeling a tight, well defined ass clamp down your cock? That's a pretty joyous experience.
I can understand the guys who are 100% tops - for some penetrative sex in their butts is painful, uncomfortable or unstimulating. For others, they're dealing with internalized homophobia that says they're more "masc" if they only top.
But I don't quite understand why 100% exclusive bottoms don't like topping. Is it too stimulating? I mean, you're putting your dick in something warm and tight. What about that doesn't do it for you? Did you try topping and discover it wasn't for you or are you - gasp - a gold star bottom? If you don't like topping, do you still like rimming a guy?
Come on, bottoms, spill it.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||06/27/2020|
Because the feeling of a big thick cock pushing into you is the closest thing to heaven you will ever find on earth. I got fucked and bred by an 11x7" cock today and I'm still glowing.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||09/14/2015|
Right, R1. I get that. I'm vers and I enjoy bottoming, too. My question was for those who are exclusive bottoms and NEVER top. I'm wondering why not - do they not like topping or is it something else?
|by Anonymous||reply 2||09/14/2015|
exclusive bottom here. it's psychological.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||09/14/2015|
Less pressure to get it up, especially as one gets older.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||09/14/2015|
[quote]exclusive bottom here. it's psychological.
R3 - If you feel comfortable, would love to hear you expand up on that.
R4 - I hadn't even considered that. Thankfully, it's not something I have to worry about... yet.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||09/14/2015|
Some guys have a small penis, and realize, no one wants to get fucked by them. So they bottom exclusively.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||09/15/2015|
It doesn't cause me problems to pee or have erections, but things could turn problematic if I penetrated, Because of this nature decided I should be a bottom. Besides, 99% of my dreams and fantasies since I woke sexually have been and are about me being a bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||09/15/2015|
My dick is average sized but every guy I've topped screams out in pain like I'm Jeff Stryker. Even when I lie on my back and let him lower himself onto me (my preferred position when first trying to accommodate a huge dick up my ass), they never seem to get completely comfortable, no matter how slow we go and how much lube we use. So I worry that he's not enjoying it and my dick wilts.
Yeah, a tight ass feels great, but so does a warm mouth.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||09/15/2015|
r/5 without sounding too victimy, I had one of those alpha male douchebag fathers who thought it would make me a man to berate me and call me a faggot and all of that when i was a kid. Then lovers (one in particular) in my early sexual development made me feel less than masculine, less than capable, less than...whatever. I tried many times to top after that and it was usually a failure. Then in my mid 20s i had a long term lover who systematically and brilliantly in his evil way, finished the job on my sense of self and manhood and nearly killed me. So now, even the thought of trying to top makes my dick go limp. I've got a very decent sized cock and it gets rock hard, but I wilt at the thought of topping or even getting a blowjob. Open my mouth, open my ass and I'm good to go. I dont think I've even tried to top in 15 years. Cant get my head around it.
Fucked up, party of 1.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||09/16/2015|
I'm lazy tbh. There's less pressure I feel, like unless you didn't clean properly or shit on them or something your partner is pretty much guaranteed to get off. Where as topping is more difficult (if you're considerate that is obviously many aren't). Also I'm young and small with a big ass so it's just expected of me tbh. I could find people to top if I wanted but like I said, I'm lazy.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||09/16/2015|
Oh and also topping is too similar to jerking off for me, like I could do that on my own whenever I feel like (well could probably get sex too whenever but whatev; its more effort I'm saying). It's more difficult to replicate the sensation of being fucked well on your own.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||09/16/2015|
There are other enjoyable things about being a bottom apart from getting your prostate stimulated. Usually, tops tend to be the "attackers". They tend to initiate things. I like that foreplay where the top kind of comes to you and starts bringing down your defenses until you succumb to his desire (having sex).
I also love tops' obsession with butts and how crazy they go about them. It is like they could cross the ocean swimming for one. I find many aspects of being a top very attractive from my bottom-ish perspective :P
|by Anonymous||reply 13||09/17/2015|
[quote]exclusive bottom here. it's psychological.
I agree with R3. Bottoming is a state of mind. I'm not interested in getting topped by somebody who also bottoms. I exist to satisfy the manly urges of a virile stud. Because I am the receptacle of his rough, untamed sexual energy, he also rewards me with masculine tenderness and affection.
If you're not a fellow exclusive bottom into exclusive tops only, I don't know that I can fully explain it to you.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||05/19/2020|
I agree with R3 and R15. It's also interesting how indistinguishable both posts are from what submissive-leaning straight women say. I know in straightland there seems to be an imbalance - often hear (straight) men complaining that too many women want to be dominated, and there's famously far more sub men in BDSM circles and truly dom men. Is it the same in gaysville? Imbalance in numbers between those who want to fuck and those who want to get fucked?
|by Anonymous||reply 16||05/19/2020|
R17 I don't think that is fair. Do women really take it up the ass? I don't think they do and I don't want to picture it. I don't want to be a girl.
There is something incredibly male-bonding and unique to gay relationships about bottoming. I need to think about how better to put this into words.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||05/19/2020|
I don't think it's about wanting to be a woman. It's about wanting to please. This urge exists in both sexes.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||05/19/2020|
I trust my douching abolities and my hole more than other guys. I do not like shit on my dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||05/19/2020|
[quote]I trust my douching abolities
See this is how I know I don't want to be a girl. Never have I ever douched or bleached or waxed. My ass is an ass for a man who wants to fuck a man.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||05/19/2020|
R21 douching is VERY different than waxing, etc. Poop on a dick is different than body hair FFS
|by Anonymous||reply 22||05/19/2020|
I like that feeling of communicating to him that I'm completely giving myself to him as our eyes lock, and he slides in. And then he slides in some more and some more until he's all the way in me and the girth and reach of his penis scratches that itch that sends a shiver through my entire body! I like the fact that when he moans on that down-stroke that I'm the one making him moan. I like the fact that our bodies are so perfectly matched as he leans his head beside mine and I stick my tongue in his ear while he's inside of me and it again makes him moan harder and makes his toes curl. And those hands. Those big, beautiful hands, that after his beautiful blue-gray eyes that turn green when he wears green, are my favorite part of his body. Because, as I'm lying on my back, those beautiful strong hands caress my body and speak to my soul through his fingertips. GOD I love his hands! And that climax! That climax brought on by our bodies and everything else being in sync as those long completely satisfied groans escape into the room letting me know that this part of myself, that I've given to the man I completely love, has brought him such joy. He stays inside me not wanting to end our oneness as he strokes my face with those beautiful hands and kisses me before he rests his head on my chest. He is completely mine and I am completely his. That's why I am an exclusive bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||05/19/2020|
I have no desire to be a woman, but I do have a desire to be fucked by a hot man with a large penis and filled with his sauce. I can top, and sporadically will, but never with someone who is fucking me (total tops only, please). It's pure psyche, and I've no clue why.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||05/19/2020|
I'm an exclusive bottom and have a very large and thick dick. I have no problem getting it hard, as a matter of fact I get pretty hard while being topped. I've topped guys a lot in the past. Never had any pleasure with it, so I don't do it anymore.
it's that simple.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||05/19/2020|
Because I top my wife enough! Taking a BBC is my selfish time!
|by Anonymous||reply 27||05/19/2020|
I don't want to be a woman and I'm actually the dominant one. I don't care that my top is exclusively a top, but he has to be masculine like I am. I love to eat ass too. I find these fantasies of dom and sub very cringe worthy and childish to be honest.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||05/19/2020|
“I don’t want to be a woman”
|by Anonymous||reply 29||05/19/2020|
If I wanted to be a woman I'd dress, talk and behave like one, you know, like half of DL does. I find women annoying and most of my friends are men. So no, I don't want to be a woman nor I fantasize about being one when having sex. Calling me a bitch etc, is a turn off too. I want to be treated like a man having sex with another.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||05/19/2020|
R29 Yeah, you're so much more manly than us because you topped that one time 17 years ago.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||05/19/2020|
R30 A real man uses his dick once in a while pussy bitch!
|by Anonymous||reply 32||05/19/2020|
Look at all the catty femme queens revolting. So cute, now say Yes, Bitch, Gurll and whatever expression you copy from women to be part of your clowning.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||05/19/2020|
When I present my hole the theme song to Different Strokes starts playing! It’s like a music box!
|by Anonymous||reply 34||05/19/2020|
I'm an exclusive bottom and it's #NotAChoice
|by Anonymous||reply 35||05/19/2020|
cuz my pussy deserves cock
|by Anonymous||reply 36||05/19/2020|
R23, that's a good post, but it sounds like he's the only one having an orgasm. When do you have your orgasm? The next morning, when you're alone in the shower, replaying the moment in your mind?
|by Anonymous||reply 37||05/19/2020|
Does an "exclusive bottom" take only the BEST baby batter, the way Ina Garten only uses the BEST olive oil?
|by Anonymous||reply 38||05/19/2020|
Because Gayle owns the strap on!
|by Anonymous||reply 39||05/19/2020|
[quote] My dick is average sized but every guy I've topped screams out in pain like I'm Jeff Stryker.
This has been my experience too. I was so worried about hurting them that I had trouble staying hard.
Luckily my current partner is 100% top so I never have to worry about it any more.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||05/19/2020|
I used to be a top but I was bad at it and I got bored
|by Anonymous||reply 41||05/19/2020|
[R37] With the right man, he's doing everything just right so that our mutual orgasms are never an issue. I am alpha male in every other regard in my life. But I have no problem submitting to this man and letting him take as I give. being the same.
And for those who know guys who also been with girls, it's not even close to being the same. I'm a long, long way from being a woman. And I'm an exclusive bottom because I love letting him have control of US.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||05/19/2020|
I used to be versatile. I was more aggressive in bed and it seemed like most guys responded to me by wanting to bottom. It started that way in my current relationship as well but after a few years we switched and I became the bottom. It’s more about the dynamic with an individual and what turns you on psychologically than the physical pleasure of either role.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||05/19/2020|
NEVER tell bottoms to “spill it,” dumbass OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||05/19/2020|
Can't say why, I am 100% bottom, just the way it is with no reason
|by Anonymous||reply 45||05/19/2020|
R45, where are you? Would love to take you out on a date.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||05/20/2020|
R1 is really asking for it.
I ABHOR when an OP takes the time to be very specific about a question, having the foresight to preempt any idiot from misinterpreting the question by being as CRYSTAL CLEAR as possible, and then a poster like the IDIOT at r1 will ANSWER A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!
***HEAD FINALLY EXPLODES INTO A MILLION PIECES****
|by Anonymous||reply 47||05/20/2020|
Being a bottom involves planning and prepwork unless you don't care about the potentially unpleasant aspects of anal sex, but being a top requires control and skill, which few are born with. Also, some men just don't have the equipment to be a satisfying top.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||05/20/2020|
[quote]Being a bottom involves planning and prepwork
And PrEPwork too!
|by Anonymous||reply 49||05/20/2020|
I don't do that either, R49.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||05/20/2020|
Does anyone know what is the ratio of bottoms to tops in the gay world?
|by Anonymous||reply 51||05/23/2020|
Do you think bottoms are more manipulative than tops?
|by Anonymous||reply 54||05/23/2020|
Depends on the relationship. I've been vers, top and bottom with different guys. It's a chemistry thing for me.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||05/23/2020|
R18 we do but to me it’s painful so I do not prefer it. There are female friends of mine who don’t find it painful and get very turned on by anal. Most hetero men want to try every orifice in my experience.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||05/23/2020|
[quote]Most hetero men want to try every orifice in my experience.
R56 is correct. I think all men want to at least experiment with other men. If they're with me (a woman), I realize they can't be gay BUT when they want anal, I know they would love to experiment with a man. I have no problem with it; I just wish men would be honest about their wanting to be with another man. Another big giveaway? When they want to be rimmed.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||05/23/2020|
I’ll have what R23’s having.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||05/23/2020|
Really, R57. In the movie Shelter, a dudebro discovers his formerly straight bff is now involved with his his gay brother. He says, "I hear they give better head than girls. And they swallow!"
From what my young gal pals tell me, anal is the new oral. Salad tossing is the cherry on top. But the big giveaway is when they want to be pegged.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||05/23/2020|
OP, do you think that, for some guys at least, the answer is in your question? You said “ For others, they're dealing with internalized homophobia that says they're more "masc" if they only top“. Aren't there also guys whose internalized homophobia tells them they’re not ‘real’ men, that like a ‘lady’ they should have their legs in the air and offer hole to cock, and that ideally they want a man who identifies as straight to fuck them, not another gay guy who, like them, isn’t a real man? Personally, I find that all a bit fucked up. Bottom-only if that’s where your pleasure lies, but not because you’ve been fed nonsense from an early age.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||05/23/2020|
Are you a woman, R60? If so, you must be the belle of the ball.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||05/23/2020|
I could never stay hard and the thought of putting my cock in a place that holds shit big turn off (I know). I've top maybe 3 times. The most successful attempt was when a guy bullied me into topping him (it was the morning after - drunk dick that night, and I was hard enough in the morning to get it in but faked cumming (I know).
|by Anonymous||reply 63||05/23/2020|
Back to the question at hand - I prefer to be submissive and like an Alpha top. All of my experiences to late have been giving head to "straight" guys. Albeit before the virus.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||05/23/2020|
Tops, you the how great if feels when you get a nice blow job?
That’s what I feel when I get fucked
|by Anonymous||reply 65||05/23/2020|
I love exclusive bottoms and avoid the rare 'versatile' like the plague.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||05/24/2020|
OP as an exclusive bottom, and i am, I will never tell you. That is the truth to being a exclusive bottom. I know what I do for a top. Its a god given talent. It’s not done out of being lazy. It’s just as much work for me as it is for you and you know it. That’s why you posted.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||05/24/2020|
I'm a total top and I love total (or "exclusive") bottoms. They're all I look for. This notion that everyone "must" be versatile is ridiculous. To each his own in my opinion.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||05/24/2020|
Well, if 80-90% of gay men are bottoms, where do you find enough tops to service them?
(Been out of the dating scene a long time.)
|by Anonymous||reply 69||05/24/2020|
R69 They don’t that’s why a lot of bottom queens are so hateful and bitter.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||05/24/2020|
So what happens when two exclusive bottoms meet and really click - physical attraction, shared interests, right age, both free to have a r'ship?
|by Anonymous||reply 71||06/13/2020|
Because I fell in love with a top. Thank God i like the pole.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||06/13/2020|
R71 I don't know. It's NEVER happened to me. I must give off bottom vibes. I don't advertise that I'm a bottom. People just know.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||06/21/2020|
Tiny dick = automatic bottom
|by Anonymous||reply 75||06/21/2020|
So....bottoms have to take what they can get, and tops have a huge range of choices.
Also - if bottoming feels so great that 80-90% of gay men choose it, why don't more straight men know this?
|by Anonymous||reply 76||06/22/2020|
No shade, but I've never been able to understand guys who are exclusive anything - we have a dick and an ass, and have the ability to use both for pleasure, it never makes sense to me that some guys completely rule out one of the options. I can completely understand having a preference - I have an overwhelming preference for topping, and I can go without bottoming for ages without really missing it, but I wouldn't like to think I'd never do it.
I've heard from some 100% bottoms that while they can top, they just don't get any kind of stimulation from it which I don't really understand if they wank themselves off and get stimulation from that, so I can only assume it's an entirely mental rather than physical thing.
I think a good portion of 100% tops have just never been fucked properly, have internalised hang ups about bottoming, or just can't be bothered to learn how to bottom. I suspect a very tiny minority actually have a legitimate physical constraint that makes bottoming impossibly painful. I also strongly stand by my view that to be a truly talented top, you must at least know how to bottom, even if it's not something you do regularly. I just don't believe that a top who has never bottomed really knows how to make the most out of the experience as far as the bottom is concerned.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||06/22/2020|
R61 I agree it’s a bit messed up and that there’s some internalized homophobia going on, but the heart wants what it wants, and so does the butt. And mine wants total tops only.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||06/22/2020|
R65 this doesn't make any sense to me. I don't see how you can equate a top getting his dick sucked to a bottom getting fucked - two completely different things. A top getting his dick sucked equates to a bottom getting his dick sucked. End of story.
Just to add I'm also completely bemused by guys who think tops should only ever receive blowjobs and bottoms should only ever give them. Seems like utter madness to me, and then you're missing out on the joy of sucking a big dicked bottom's dick while you're fucking him on his back which is always fun.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||06/22/2020|
[quote]Why are you an exclusive bottom?
I'm not an exclusive bottom, silly. I just pretend to be one.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||06/22/2020|
Topping and bottoming are different to me in terms of my headspace. Some level of dom/sub role play comes into play even if it’s not overt. I’ve never been into flip fucking in one session because mentally it’s hard for me to switch quickly from one role to the other with the same person. Some relationships I’ve been the top and I am the bottom in my current relationship.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||06/22/2020|
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi stated that gay sex is about fantasizing about either being a scared, wimpy little boy, or about abusing the scared, wimpy little boy. IMO, he may have had a point.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||06/22/2020|
R83 why do you hate yourself?
|by Anonymous||reply 84||06/27/2020|
Because I'm from the most exclusive and restricted community in our part of Connecticut!
|by Anonymous||reply 85||06/27/2020|