Hooking Up With Mr. Goodbar

Yes, all the time.

I'm on PrEP and I use a condom for fucking and getting fucked and what I think about is, what is it I like about this guy and how can I best convey the value of this connection to me even if it's only fleeting? That's what I think. Nothing scary at all.

Grateful to be alive. That's all I'm saying.

"Fleeting" r2? Funny word, like "Fleet" enema.

I've been no saint but not being safe when it came to anal sex just wasn't' an option. Sometimes the hottest encounters will the least expected ones. Learned dudes can be pretty easy to get in their pants if you handle situations correctly and not be afraid to take a little risk making it known you want some of that. Also you have better results if you're discreet about it and don't develop the gossip queen reputation of blabbing about your sexual escapades

R2 ,,,,,,,,,, your hookups certainly don't have to worry about you. You sound safe and sane. Good for you.

Don't hook up like this often, but condoms always are used ......... never had a psycho experience or someone who wanted to take it further than a regular fuck buddy type of thing.

Very good, r4. You're pointing out that words can have more than one meaning! Another example is, "I wouldn't mind being in a gang bang during Fleet Week in New York City."

You could trust men back in the day, or at least you felt you could.

Let's use "I" statements, r8!

There are probably many of us walking around who, by sheer luck and timing, escaped fates with than death, and don't even know it.

And I'm sure virtually everyone has wken up one morning and had one of those OMG moments.

Not to "toot" my own horn,but Ive slept with so many men I lost count,and rarely did I use a condom. I realize now how incredibly lucky I was to not catch any fatal diseases ( I had syphilis once,gonnoreah once but that's it) especially as so many of my friends and ex's died. Im old now and nobody wants to fuck me,but if the situation were different Id be FAR more careful now. Back then you could trust people more,but there have been far too many cases of people knowingly passing on diseases and not caring.

I often wonder if my life would have turned out differently if I have actually given my behavior serious thought. Maybe I would have had a real, lasting relationship instead of ending up alone.

LOL @ R7 😜

"Back then you could trust people more,but there have been far too many cases of people knowingly passing on diseases and not caring." Maybe it was YOURSELF you needed to be able to trust more, r11. Why do you think you would have been unable to trust yourself to care that you and your partners minimized or eliminated risks to each other's health while still having a great time?

I had the clap once.

But I had anal fissures twice. That I know of.

To the poster of REPLY 15 - Thank you so very much for sharing that information with us, now my life is complete!

It's pretty simple OP though the MPs of DL would be horrified

I am single now and hook up about 4-5 times a week, sometimes twice in the same day. (Thank you Grindr)

I stay healthy because I never fuck or get fucked except by guys I know well. (And ALWAYS with a condom).

For the randos, it's just JO or oral. I always make sure they go down on me first and I ask where they want me to cum. If the guys says "in my mouth" he's just getting a hand job.

So far so good.

Yes, a condom is necessary but be careful who you bring home these days. You could end up like Diane Keaton. My friends, a former bodybuilder, brought home two other bodybuilders he met in a bar. He didn't have sex but they did rob and beat him almost to death. He crawled on his hands and knees two blocks to a friend's home for help because he didn't want the police at his own home. He told the police it was a random street mugging.

I never brings random guys home. Better to go to their places because you can leave if you need to. Never had a bad experience actually.

As a healthy, hiv-negative, sex positive total top, both paid and free, who has fucked probably over 1500 people (7/8 men) in my life ... Most of what I'm reading here sounds utterly asinine, illogical. How is it that, during oral sex, if somebody wants you to cum in their mouth, then it follows that their dick is potentially diseased? And if he said he didn't want you to cum in his mouth, then what? You realize any pathogens will be passed before anybody has an orgasm, right? What I sense is moralizing and sex-negativity (what a surprise on DL).

And what are "guys you know well," and "always with a condom?" Why not have sex with a condom with whomever you want? What does knowing somebody well have to do with anything? How do you define knowing somebody well? When would you NOT have sex with a condom, for goodness' sake? Your "standards" sound ad hoc and fungible and too vague to be effective.

One of the most frustrating things I've encountered lately is that a lot of guys who have a place to play won't share anymore because of their irrational paranoia. So nobody has a place to play anymore. A guy I've fucked for over 5 years suddenly decided a couple months ago that he wouldn't have anybody in his house for sex anymore, including me. He wanted me to fuck him on his front porch in view of the street in 40 degree weather. Bitch please. Maybe he needs to lay off the street dudes if he's getting into trouble.

If you took the time to get to know somebody you could probably figure out if they're a good bet, but frankly, if you took the time to get to know these queens, you wouldn't be turned on by over 80% of them, which is why you have to get the deed done quickly, before you see or hear them. Why do you think so many guys are into dark rooms and no talking?

Have a few conversations with them, offline or on. Trade a phone number so you can trace them. Demand to know where they live if they're coming over. Make it a rule that you don't have anonymous hookups - get their name, look at their driver license. Meet them someplace public first - but tell them up-front what your rules are, so they aren't caught by surprise at the last minute. Tell them its for the safety of both of you, that you like sex, but you're responsible about sex with people you don't know. Trade clear face pics online. Have a sympathetic friend that you forward your hookup info to in case something goes wrong, and tell your tricks you're doing this so they know you're serious about not getting taken advantage of. Don't do freaking meth or crack and don't have sex with people who do. If you have people over, lock up your money and valuables. If trix won't cooperate, punch and delete quickly.

And here's an outrageous idea - why not meet up with people more than once, to reduce the risks of multiple anonymous encounters? Why are so many so jaded (or is it that you're really just so low in self regard,but yeah, you're jaded too) that you refuse to have sex with guys more than once or twice? Most of you are constantly looking for the next dick you haven't tasted yet, even when there are at least a few you've had that would be totally acceptable as repeats.

And you treat the guys you hook up with as less than human - admit it, a lot of you think it's okay to harbor disrespect, even if in your own mind, towards the people you have random sex with, as if they belong to a lesser species. The real problem is you don't want to create any connection with the guys you have sex with, which is in itself very inhumane. And it's the inhumanity you express in your attitudes that leads to people not caring about whether they pass on a disease, or if they rob you.

But stop with the magical sex acts judgements and the refusal to host. You're just making it hard on everybody.

R20 on his front porch, really? And did you?

R20 tldr

I ran out of the movie starring Diane Keaton screaming. Total queen alert. I've decided to stop hooking up. The virus was the perfect excuse, but there are too many unknown variables for it to ever be worth it again.

Miss R20 = ho with a heart of gold.

So what are you asking, OP? The title suggests concern about potential injury or death from a hookup but the text then seems to veer into safer sex territory. Not exactly the same thing. I am on PrEP and vary in my use of additional protection (condoms) for other STDs based on my comfort and experience with someone or my particular horniness and vibe.

Of course we should all be concerned about assault. I’ve been fortunate but I am also a beefy guy so guys tend to think I’m tougher than I am.

I sucked him off 5 years ago!

What, when you started the thread R26... or is it OP?

I always kept pepper spray and a baseball bat in reach and a knife under the mattress.

I’ve been a lot safer since I got a cat. I know it’s silly but before I had him I’d bring all sorts of random guys home and hook up with sketchy strangers.

Are you 12, R4?

Never done it, sounds way too cold and impersonal.