Let's Pretend We're Fraus in a Break Room Discussing the Gay Marriage Ruling.

"It wasn't fair to The Gays, before. I know because I have lots of gay friends and they all love me. I say, 'live and let live'. They should have the same rights as everyone else."

"I'm glad that's taken care of so we can focus on really important things like street harassment." {looks around to see if any POC is within earshot} "What is it about black men, anyway?"

Oh, great. Now there are even fewer available men!

As I always say, love the sinner - hate the sin.

Becka should just pair up all her exes. I swear she's the last female on every man's journey to homoland.

"I have alot of gay friends and none of them want gay marriage!"

(whispering) "Well, you know that Kevin in HR and Phil in the mailroom are an item, don't you? I wonder which one is the woman and which one is the man?"

R7 "That's not true, Kevin always talks about his girlfriend from Canada that he rarely sees. Long distance relationships are so hard."

"As long as they stay away from the kids and don't give anyone the AIDS, I have no problem with them. I don't get the marriage thing but I have no problem with them."

"I would never go to a Gay wedding. What would I tell my children?"

bump

"Oh hey, Kathy! I bet you're happy now! You can get married too, if you ever find a women!"

(The fraus than sneer at Kathy, who never hid being gay, but for reasons like this, never bothered discussing it with her co-workers.)

'Did you see? Ginny from billing, put one of those gay things on her Facebook pic. And I tried her recipe for oatmeal raisin cookies and they were DRY.'

It makes me feel so relaxed!

Now jeff can go get blowjobs from his married buddies and I don't have to!

"Did you see that rainbow filter on Facebook? You can change your profile picture to a rainbow flag to show support for gay marriage. It is so CUTE!!! I took my favorite pic of Bill with Jayden, Kaden and the twins and changed it to a rainbow flag. You should do it!"

-the Fraus I work with.

OMG, you guys! The Gays LOVE me, and I love them right back! They always tell me that I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body, tee hee hee! I like to think of myself as a gay man trapped in Kathy Griffin's body trapped in my own sexier, curvier body! I'm all about that bass, bitches!

So while I'm totes happy that they can get married now I'm also kind of worried about becoming a fifth wheel, you know? They LOVE it when I show up at gay bars and surprise them - OMG, did I ever tell you about the time I was on cosmo #8 and pulled the drag queen's wig off?? OMG, hilaaaares! But that's another story.

Anyway, I guess I just feel that if they all run out and get married now (And you KNOW they will. I mean, flowers! Hello! Parties! Dressing up! Helloooo!), my lifestyle is going to change. Not to be selfish, but what was wrong with domestic partnerships? I just feel like my social life is going to be in the toilet now.

Maybe I'm not totes happy about it, after all. There, I've said it. Okaaaay? They used to loooove my sassy mouth and sexy curves, and the way I would have danced on the bar if I had ever been able to climb up there, but now they're going to toss me aside like every straight man I ever blew for a half hour of attention. Fuck The Gays!

Which one wears the tux and which the gown?

I guess we will be seeing a lot of funny looking brides!

I wouldn't care if they'd just keep it to themselves and stop shoving their gay agenda in our faces.

Well, you know it's like my friend Becky from church says, we're not haters! We love those homosexuals, but that doesn't mean we have to agree with them!

"Well at least now they can be as unhappy as the rest of us...the week after we got married Marty stopped helping me plan the monthly game night and he all but refused to go to Franklin's Saturday morning karate exhibitions..."

I'm for gay marriage even though based upon people posting on DL most gays are assholes.

W&W for R22

Do gay people REALLY like graham crackers THAT much? I mean, every commercial for them has gays in it. You would think gays would be more into those fancy crackers that you get at Costco--you know, the whole wheat with cracked pepper or whatever.

Anyway, if they want to marry each other, I really don't care. I just hope they're as happy as me and Brad are. Oh, Brad just texted me. He has to work late with his friend Todd. Oh well, it's not like they're going to run off and get gay married * snort *

And Brooke thought HER wedding was so fabulous. Just wait until Mitch, you know that guy in Finance, marries that Brad in Visual Merchandising. Going to put hers to shame. Oh, Karen, don't pretend you didn't know!

I just cannot believe those judges would cheapen my 5 marriages by letting gays get married. I am almost sure of all my babies' daddies.

Which one do you call "Mrs."? Do they change their last name too? I don't understand how it all works, but it's not my place to judge. Bless their hearts.

You know, my son is a wedding dj and I think he would be ok playing at one of these things, so I might recommend him to Bill and Jerry. But I don't know if he has the kind of music they like. Do the gays still like Frankie Goes To Hollywood?

Oh, I'm so happy. Now I can run and tell the world that I know a gay married couple. And they are my friends! It would be better though if one of them were black though. Then I could be friends with a black, gay, married guy!!

Oh my dear what are they thinking? I mean gay men fuck around, they just do and they can't help themselves. They will be married and divorced in no time at all.

bump

"I always say 'Love the sinner, hate the--' oh, hi, Bruce! We were just talking about you. In a good way though..."

Well, at first I thought marriage was only for a man and a woman, but then I came around to it - yes, they can fall in love, too. Then I wasn't sure about it being in a church, but they are God's children, too. But now it seems it isn't really about that. Now it seems what they really want is to have operations and become women. So I guess it make more sense than I thought.

Well, if the gays can get married, you KNOW they will get divorced. And I will watch the shit out of "Gay Divorce Court". But only if Judge Maybelline comes back.

Those preverts were on the front page of the paper this morning and all over TV, smiling and getting married.

I'm darn tired of them shoving their gay stuff down my throat!

Why is it that whenever I announce my fondness for a certain Presidential candidate - "I *LOVE* Santorum! - everyone snickers and laughs?

You know what? Mom and Pop always said, 'Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.' And you guys know how much I love my parents. Were they so very wrong?

"Well, I just hope they don't all adopt. Children shouldn't be raised by pervs!"

My Daddy always told me that it should be Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!"

"A gay man just hadn't met the right woman!"

People, always remember: THREE out of the five Supreme Court judges who voted for us are WOMEN.

bump

I've spent the past year and a half planning Becky's tasteful "Sailing on the French Riviera" themed wedding but now that gays can marry, you know they're just going to hog the spotlight and win that battle. Who can compete? It's not fair.

I don't care as long as I don't see them kissing.

Bless their hearts, they're also human and deserve equal rights like the rest of us.

those hot guys need to get fucked!

Does the father of the bottom pay for the wedding?

Well, you're going to see it, R41's mother. I don't care what they do - they can "marry" chickens or toasters for all I care, which will be next of course, but they need to keep their "marriages" behind closed doors where they belong! All they do is shove their perversity down the throats of normal, Christian people. Oh, how I long for the good old days! Sure, we know now that Liberace and Rock Hudson were filthy sodomites but at the time no one suspected a thing! We were happy then.

And no, I'm not judging them. I follow Christ's lead and love the sinner while hating the sin.

R44 (Fraus don't know what a bottom is, fool! "Bottom" to them is the discount rack at Macy's.)

So which one of you two boychiks gets to step on the glass?

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Which one is the husband and which one the wife?!

Well, I always think they look so stylish.

That Caitlyn fellow looks so pretty. Mind you, he's an abomination of our Savior. But he seems so nice. I'll pray for him tonight.

fraus??? why not gym teachers with students? cute male dudes in the gym? police officers? store clerks in a breakroom? contruction workers during lunch break? chippendale dancers backstage?

you think only fraus hate you?

oh baby...your dream men are also opposed to you.

What's next ? Will they be marrying their Cuisinart ?

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God, we can't shove all the extra workload at the office on 'them' anymore since they'll claim the same domestic issues as us. Picking up Timmy at soccer practice won't cut it anymore.

My gay loves it when I come to his gay bar! Let’s all go this weekend to celebrate, ladies!

"It isn't a real marriage like mine."

"It isn't even a real relationship like mine."

"They'll never be worth as much or as good as we are. We're real people. They aren't."