Are people who go to bathhouses regularly generally lonely?

Some are lonely, some are just looking for a night out away from the world. Got a problem with that. People who cruise Grindr aren't much different.

Am I the only guy that finds the whole concept of a bath house creepy?

No R2 I don't think I will ever step into one for the same reason. Although I understand in different times you needed designated places to get some action, while being discrete. I personally have no use for them so, Ill never go to one if I can help it. I don't enjoy the idea of more than one old man leering in my direction simultaneously.

Bring back the bathhouse! I hate trying to meet guys on Grindr.

The bath house was a wonderful idea for gays to have a safe place. The time seems to be passing quickly with so many other ways to hook up now. What's left are older men who go. And older gay men tend to be lonely.

First of all- there are not that many around any more- and second- what's the difference between the tubs (sex for sex sake) and Grindr or Scruff?

It depends on the community, the bathhouse, and the individual. I've been to a bathhouse in Madrid were on Sunday every single gay in the city was there yukking it up with their friends, laughing and giggling and drinking. It might as well have just been at a bar. I have certainly seen other bath houses that were very quiet and lonely

The bath house was necessary in 1965 and 1975.

Not today. It is beyond irrelevant.

They're great for those looking to be human cum dumpsters for a group of strangers.

R9 how is the internet any different?

Have the bathhouse haters actually been to one or are they just basing their derision on what they've heard about the scene from fellow millennials?

I'm 37 and go make 2-3 a year. If you go in with a good attitude, it can be a lot of fun. There's so much bullshit back-and-forth (which you'll find on Grindr/Scruff/CL) that's eliminated. I've had some hot times with some incredibly hot men in them, especially holiday weekends/Tuesday nights at the Crew Club in D.C. and Steamworks-Chicago during Market Days.

Anything you're sure you're seeing, any narrative you think you see playing out, is all in your head. You have no idea what's going on with the other people there. I realized I did this when I was in a bad mood but went to a bathhouse. "Everybody here seems so angry," I thought. "They don't seem to give a shit. They're rude. They have attitude."

Another time somewhere else I was in a great, friendly mood and I was thinking how liberated and free the city was, how great it was that this place existed for people to make connections and how DARE anybody think those connections are furtive and guilt-ridden and free of all affection?

There are probably examples of all kinds of feelings and emotions going on but what you bring to it influences what you see around you.

Lonely? Not at all.

I hate the entire go to the bar, meet somebody, pretend they are interesting, etc. crap and then deciding where to go, ditching friends, whatever. The internet is even worse. They NEVER look even remotely like their picture.

You go to a place where people are already naked, pick the one you want and go in for the score. No pretending that you are interested in anything more, etc. Just a simple fuck.

I save bar/clubs for having fun with friends! If I meet somebody, great. Not the point of my night.

R13 gets it.

Back in the day, I never went to a bath house because I was lonely. I went to find sex, easily. And it always worked. Frankly, I don't know of anyone who went to the baths out of loneliness. My guess is that loneliness is not what drives Grindr and Scruff as well. Sex does- easy quick no nonsense sex that men crave muuuuuch more than women.

OP Read this from Bathhouse Blues

Making The Connection

It is called a compulsion. Big deal. Shut up about it.

What is, R17?

it's all about sex and cumming.................

Probably yes. Some are, some are not.

Legalize prostituon. It helps lonely, depressed people.

The life of a homosexual is a sad and lonely one.

Pray for them!

[quote] The life of a homosexual is a sad and lonely one. Pray for them

I don't need to pray honey...please Have some of my luv juice baby...

Bath house whores are gross and pathetic.

pure sex in bath houses...getting off N cumming~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;...........................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.,..................................

I knew someone who was frustrated that his bath house visits didn't result in dates.

I'd say more horny than lonely. Interesting how these bathhouse threads keep appearing from fat, homely OPs who are afraid to just walk in a bathhouse and try it out, though they've obviously yearned to for years.

R23=sad case, has gotten turned down in bathhouses of all places repeatedly.

Wasn't there a famous bathhouse called "Man's Country" in the late 1980's-early 1990's?

I think they may have shot a gay porn movie there for one of Matt Sterling's videos.

What is the 2020 equivalent of bathhouse gays?

Yes, lonely and desperate.

The only people bathhouses aren't suitable for are prisspots.

Am lucky in that there's several in my city, with one of them in the top three in the world.

Am staggered London now doesn't have a knockout one.

Serendipity. Immediacy. Anonymity. Randomness. Voyeurism. All while playing stick-this-here and that-there and then do-it-to-me. Can’t get that on an app.

Am I lonely...yes. I am also disabled and now at middle aged. Before March 2020, I frequented EROS in San Francisco, not only for my sexual needs, but there was a naked yoga class, in a separate room at EROS, which I attended frequently. I'd also gotten to know people with whom I had a chemistry with, as people, not just as sex buddies. EROS also became my social outlet.

Bravo R32 and R33. Lovely posts that rightly stick the finger to smug judgemental cows.

I frequented bath houses weekly in my 20’s and 30’s and met a lot of interesting people, and yes, dated a few from these encounters. While incredibly liberating and freeing, the flip side is yes, there are lots of lonely sex and drug addicts there too. They’re not any different type or less of a guy you’d meet at a bar and yes, I liked that I met other guys like myself that had absolutely no prissy hangups about anonymous sex. I also liked that there were guys I had sex with I wouldn’t have looked at twice in a bar.

The novelty wore off in my 40’s when STD rates rocketed and one day I found a weird pimple on the base of my cock. After spending half the day sequestered at the health clinic- then having to wait two weeks for blood tests, I found out I was clear, and it was just a reaction from lube- but it changed my attitude about frequenting bath houses. Also, many are much more run down and the staffing is less than stellar. I remember a lot more cuties worked at the baths decades ago. Many of the fun ones have closed, I used to love the decrepit but full of character Mt. Morris Bath in Harlem that closed in 2003.

I’m happily married now but would venture out once or twice a year if I was still single.

[quote]I also liked that there were guys I had sex with I wouldn’t have looked at twice in a bar.

Well that says it all. No sage you.

R36, I’m a “face” guy, you had to have a beautiful or expressive face to get my attention at the bar.

There’s a lot more than faces to look at in the baths!

Yeah, we got it first time. You didn't need to dig your hole deeper.

Good Lord, when I thnk of the hours I wasted and the risks I took at the baths. What was I thinking? Smh.