Bears are the new queens

Do bear parties consist of games that involve finding tchotchkes beneath the folds of your fat?

Those outside the 'bear' world call them hogs.

They call themselves "husky" and "stocky" R2. To the real world that equates to grossly obese.

And yes R1. That's exactly what bear parties consist of.

Bears like to think that they are more "real" and more "down to earth" than non-obese gay men ---- the "lesbians" of male homosexuality, I suppose. But in reality, they're fucking worse than a WeHo or Chelsea queen!

C'mon bears - defend yourselves.

R4, why not? When someone pointed out on DL that straight men are much more likely to be obese than gay men, the tone of the responses was that that was due to straight men being less superficial, that they're sophisticated book readers, not aging gym rats. Why should that not be true of gay men who allow themselves to grow fat?

Bears - please explain why you are physically, emotionally or morally superior than non-obese gay men?

This is the funniest thread ever, thanks OP.

how about skinny bears? yes they do exist!

C'mon bears --- you're "in." You're so much more superior than the mainstream gay world --- why not defend yourselves?

R10 they are sleeping now, heavy slumbers.

Surely, some of these fat fucks are feasting on a midnight sack...

..

Does a bear shit in the woods?

I'm amazed by how laconic these manly bears are.... really, nothing to add?

Perhaps they're hibernating.

[quote]the tone of the responses was that that was due to straight men being less superficial, that they're sophisticated book readers, not aging gym rats.

WTF?! The straight worship is clearly going out of hand. A lot of straight men are just pigs who let themselves go and don't look after their appearance. It has nothing to do with them being more cultured. On average gay men are.

Also I love actual bears. Big masculine bodies and personalities.

Fat queens who try to call themselves bears are a joke to me.

Worse than Hitler? Fat, obese bears making a "career" out of bartending at the local gay leather/western bar and pretending they're at the top of the gay food chain.

BEARHATE.

r10 Nothing to defend, friend. We're here, we're queer, we're older and we have more insurance.

Bear has nothing to do with manliness. Bear means big and hairy. Bear community is about accepting fat people. Nothing to do with masculinty.

I love riding a bear.

I have a friend who is apparently a hottie in the bear-world. He's got an attractive face and good personality but is probably 150 lbs overweight. Every time he posts a picture on Facebook, there are at least a dozen fatties lined up to give a "woof" to their leader. It's embarrassing, really. This guy is obese to an unhealthy level but he has these fetishists who reinforce that it's ok to be that big.

Bears are like guys who work out to be super masculine and ruin the image by looking like Tarzan and sounding like Jane.

I love the bears. I have always found the bear community to be very warm and inviting.

R26 gets it.

Every clique is full of horrible people. They are horrible in different ways of course. Painting everyone of a similar body type with the same brush is lazy, stupid and tellingly bitter. Anyway, it seems like you are describing the people who are highly visible in your community so you're not really taking into account the majority who aren't interested in the bars, pride parades or putting themselves on display in public. You could describe every clique of barflies with scathing, mean terms and be fairly accurate.

I have a bear friend from college. Sometimes if I'm in town visiting family it coincides with some birthday party or social event he's throwing and i go along.

Last time, all his bear friends were there. Some are so fat they have to sit around the dining table because they can't get up off the couch or an occasional chair without straining and groaning. All the talk is of cheesecake, snacks, Science Fiction, they like Dr. Who, and they are extremely queeny, one of them put on some Nina Simone one time and one of them started tearing up.

Bears aren't such uptight bitches as you fucks.

R30 = chubby chaser who feeds his bear fuck buds giant pizzas in bed

I know a former svelte twink, he was very popular due to his looks, and very much a clothes horse and preening himself. Then he hit 40 and developed middle aged spread. He disappeared for a while and one day I saw two bears on the street laughing and joking around and I thought, oh, a bear couple, they look fun. And as I got closer I saw it was this former twink guy I knew, he was now fat and so he;d grown a beard and become a bear. He would't meet my eye thought I know he saw and recognised me.

I suspect all of this emotional damage done by these apparently Satanic chubby bears who refuse to hate themselves, and their bodies is a bit overblown.

I mean, after 40 or so, who gives a shit what other people do, or enjoy? I am simply not overly concerned anymore, as I just stay busy living my own life!

Seems more like "fraus" of the gay world, to read your description.

But I'm just playing along and I'm not entirely convinced of your theory.

What R4 wrote. They are extremely cliquey, snobby, and more effeminate than twinks and drag queens.

R33 a lot of bears have overeating/weight issue problems, and extremely poor body images and self esteem.

OP hates fat men so much I would not be surprised if he were a childhood fatty himself practicing a fascism against himself.

The thing with bears is, if you refuse their advances because you don’t like their weight they go all crazy on YOU and try to throw it back on you and make it seem like you are the one with the issue. Look I’d love to lose 10 pounds as much as the next bitch and have the chest I had in my 30s and even 40s but I’m in my mid 50s and I can just be settled with “it’s over” and be fine with that. I’m not that desperate that I need to go out and let some whale that doesn’t have the decency to shave his goddamn back lay on top of me.

Anyone who thinks that muscle bros can be exclusionary and elitist, has never had to witness the antics of the bear "society" in SF.

Lol, do tell, r39.

I've just always found the self-segregation bit sort of bizarre.

Like "I'm fat and hairy and I'm only going to hang out with other fat hairy guys even though being fat and hairy may be the only thing we have in common!"

TBH, most self-identified "bears" I've met are very emotionally damaged. It's not easy being hetero and fat and hairy and unattractive your whole life. Throw in gay and you've got a lifetime of therapy appointments to look forward to.

They also want everyone else to self-segregate in a similar manner and are peeved that "twinks" and "otters' and "wolves" don't all hang together and that "otters" don't go to "Otter parties" and "Otter weekends" and whatnot.

All these years I pictured Bronze Age Gay as a Mr. Rogers-esque character.

OMG, this thread really is hysterical. How Dare You not be a gym bunny! How dare you not worship me for being thin and fit! You must be so emotionally damaged to not think being a twink is the ideal!!!

This thread is an experiment run by the Russian Discord Sowing Task Force ahead of the election.

I'm thin, and I love bears. Many kinda of like me too. We have a lot of sweaty fun together. Opposites often attract.

R43 that’s not it. The bears are the ones that go crazy.

But I'm a fit fat bear!

Has anyone ever been fisted by a bear? What about a black bear? What about a BLM bear? Has anyone ever been fisted by a BLM black bear?

I’m a bear, and like every gay clique, there are A List bears and a hierarchy that would make high school mean girls proud. But most are just fine. Just like most thinks aren’t stuck up bitches. Honestly, the most annoying thing to me is when twinks and muscle bros get mad because I’m not interested. Kind of a “how dare someone of your weight not find me attractive and feel so grateful I’m hitting on you.”

Could be me - not a queen at all and height/weight proportional. But hairy as all get out and classify myself as bear/werewolf. Of course also have the daddy thing going on too.

2015 thread

[quote] They call themselves "husky" and "stocky"

Nonsense!

Thanks for the info, R51. You are a very good hall monitor.

R32 the twink to bear you speak of is Andrew Sullivan I'm guessing.

Lol, r53. Thank you. So sick of these hall monitor cunts.

About a year ago I was at West Side Club in NYC. I was having sex with a MUSCLE bear. He wanted to video himself giving me a blowjob. I kept saying no. He started to give me an attitude- You're lucky I'm having sex with you. I wouldn't look at you on the street. I guess I might be insulted if he was a SLIM good looking guy. But this BEARDED MUSCLE bear was NOT my type. I told him to leave my room. I NEVER had anyone give me such an attitude.

OP types fat, and sounds like one of those tired cliches that hates anyone he doesn't wanna fuck.

I mean, 0.00000000001 for finding a new group of gay men to bitch about, I guess.

Each to their own. I dont find them remotely attractive at all, but I have found them no worse (or better) than anyone else.

Its the minority like R38 describes that irritate me, they dont understand that fat guys are a minority interest. And the ones that cant seem to read or comprehend what is written in dating profiles especially in the header or first sentence and message you even though you profile specifies "skinny guys wanted" are especially bloody annoying.

But most arent like that, the ones I've met in social settings have been chill. They know there are enough chasers out there that they need not go without even if they're obese, or they go with each other, either is fine by me, live and let live

R56 did you cum first?

Hi DeFacturd!

Bump

There is a handful (and I mean a SMALL handful) of men who are slightly overweight, hairy, charming, broad shouldered like a line-backer, big-dicked, well adjusted and devastatingly handsome. These men are very desirable.

The problem is every fat slob thinks he's that guy. The handful of guys I described above are very rare.

The ones falling outside that handful are a mess! Those fat slobs are mean, carry an air of superiority, and pretend to be exclusionary because deep down they know they are fat and nasty and undesirable. It is a defense mechanism. I don't fuck with those types.

"Liz is rather pretty now. A year ago she was pretty fat." - C. Pierce

More stereotypes, and more sweeping generalisations: as per normal on DL. I tend to find many of them attractive, as I rather like hairy big blokes with beards, I and don’t mind some extra weight. They don’t necessarily need to be über masculine either.

I can see being concerned about their weight IF it’s really in health problem territory, from the POV of loved ones, but that’s not really what any of this false concern is about.

To those who object to them hanging out together, or coming off as much too exclusive, has it ever occurred that’s exclusively what many of them happen to find attractive? I’ve been politely turned down by a few: I wasn’t hairy enough, or big enough to them. Not all are like this, but suspect many probably are, and that’s their choice. I appreciated being let down easily and politely.