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When did slut shaming become a bad thing?

I mean they are sluts aren't they? So?

by Anonymousreply 11701/29/2016

How much sex do you have to have before you can be considered a slut? And with how many people?

by Anonymousreply 109/03/2014

OP, define "slut". Tell us what it means. Hard numbers are encouraged.

Then describe your sex life. Again: hard numbers encouraged; how many partners, how frequently where/how you meet them, how long you know them before having sex, how much time between encounters, etc. Everything. Leave nothing out. Start with the day you first lost your cherry and end with the last sexual encounter you had.

Then tell us why "sluts" deserve to be "shamed".

by Anonymousreply 209/03/2014

Since the seventies, OP.

by Anonymousreply 309/03/2014

Slut shaming IS a good thing in most peoples' eyes. And that's the problem.

Slut shaming is a bad thing because it's usually motivated by hate, envy, self-righteousness, competitiveness or dogma.

You shouldn't disrespect the joy and success other people get up to unless they harm someone.

by Anonymousreply 409/03/2014

A slut is someone who only cares about sex and nothing else, not even the well-being of one's sex partners. Sluts spread disease. Diseases that can cause death.

by Anonymousreply 509/03/2014

[quote]You shouldn't disrespect the joy and success other people get up to unless they harm someone.

Like, for instance, if they give someone an incurable STD?

by Anonymousreply 609/03/2014

R6 like Derek Jeter?

by Anonymousreply 709/03/2014

[quote]OP, define "slut". Tell us what it means. Hard numbers are encouraged.

6

by Anonymousreply 809/03/2014

Yeah, I have a problem with unabashed whores playing the victim.

by Anonymousreply 909/03/2014

R9 is probably one of the hackers. Hacking is a crime, hon.

R6, you can't "spread diseases" if your partners don't have unprotected sex

by Anonymousreply 1009/03/2014

[quote]You shouldn't disrespect the joy and success other people get up to unless they harm someone.

"Joy" I understand (and agree with). But "success"??? Please explain, r4. How is being slutty "success"?

by Anonymousreply 1109/03/2014

[quote]you can't "spread diseases" if your partners don't have unprotected sex

Of course you can. Condoms don't protect against all STDS ... and just like all other manmade products, they don't work always work perfectly.

by Anonymousreply 1209/03/2014

The problem with a lot of this anti-slut-shaming dogma is that all these neo/wannabe feminists are ENTITLED. They don't feel like the world is against them for being "slutty;" rather, they're pissed because they're not getting as much as they feel they should by being sluts. Women have always used their sexuality to get ahead in life, which is by no means a bad thing. But a lot of this so called "empowered," sex-positive feminism is simply a means to increase that power. But when people stop caring--because everyone and their Mom is naked and spread-eagled now--the sex feminists get pissed. Female sexuality simply doesn't have the same currency as it used to when people were more repressed (and when being nude or suggestive actually meant something). THAT'S what some women are pissed about and play the victim by calling it "slut-shaming."

by Anonymousreply 1309/03/2014

If you don't want to have a lot of sex, don't.

If you do, have fun.

I don't understand why it's anyone's business but you and your partners.

by Anonymousreply 1409/03/2014

If the shriekers think "slut shaming" is so awful, why did they use the awful word slut in it?!

It's mostly all in their heads.

by Anonymousreply 1509/03/2014

Wow. R15 might be the dumbest post on Datalounge in a loooooong while.

by Anonymousreply 1609/03/2014

Exactly, r6.

And that's why you should shame them for for not being safe and cautious in their practices as opposed to an absolute intolerance of sex LIKE A MORON/SELF-RIGHTEOUS HATE MONGER.

What's it to you, honestly?

by Anonymousreply 1709/03/2014

Wrong, r5.

A slut is a person who has sex with many partners, period.

It was intended to disparage someone as a slur, meaning the user thinks promiscuity is a BAD thing.

But promiscuity can be OH SO GOOD and safe as well. So I say it as a GOOD thing.

;)

by Anonymousreply 1809/03/2014

"Success" means acquiring sex, its joys and benefits from the person YOU desire, r11.

Failure is having to fuck Melissa McCarthy and Ken Davitian with a donkey in a storm drain.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 1909/03/2014

Wrong, r13.

There are two kinds of feminists: sex-negative and sex-positive.

Women CAN use sex to "get ahead" in power, but most of society SUBTRACTS their power for it and holds it against them.

Female sexuality will never lose its "currency" because most humans desire sex recurrently and that will never change.

And sexual currency is INDIVIDUAL. Applying the same "rate" to all women is wrong and stupid of either you, the feminists, or both.

by Anonymousreply 2009/03/2014

Because some want the listener to know we see being "sluts" as a good thing and we're not afraid of the irrational hate, r15.

by Anonymousreply 2109/03/2014

Most of you bitches have missed the point on this entirely.

Most of the women who talk about "slut shaming" aren't sluts. Or they're trying to make the point that they are no more active then most men.

Even if a woman uses birth control, takes care to avoid disease and uses protecting, she is still slut shamed for having a sexual appetite of any kind, and for "acting like a man."

Slut shaming is often a double standard, since women are vilified for the things men would be celebrated for.

I think too many of you are assuming that the word "slut" in slut shaming is literal. But then again, how many sex partners makes a woman a slut? How many works for you? Why do you get to decide? And so on.

by Anonymousreply 2209/03/2014

[quote]OP, define "slut". Tell us what it means. Hard numbers are encouraged.

A slut is a person who has had sex with one more person than you have. In OP's case, that's number is one.

by Anonymousreply 2309/03/2014

My pussy stinks.

And it's all your fault.

by Anonymousreply 2409/03/2014

Is this thread related to the Hollywood starlet photo and video leak? I have a feeling some slut shamers got their feelings hurt when not everyone jumped on their hate train.

by Anonymousreply 2509/03/2014

[quote]Most of you bitches

Do you have the ability to post a message in a thread without being nasty? Are you in a race with MissHelenBedd to be the cuntiest poster at DL?

by Anonymousreply 2609/03/2014

The only people I've ever met who were into "slut shaming" couldn't get laid if they were in a whore house.

by Anonymousreply 2709/03/2014

[quote] Do you have the ability to post a message in a thread without being nasty? Are you in a race with MissHelenBedd to be the cuntiest poster at DL?

That's a warmly felt salutation, R26. You're a wee bit of a sensitive snowflake if you think that's cunty.

And you're a bit crazy if you're stalking my posts.

by Anonymousreply 2809/03/2014

R13 is a Rush Limbaugh wannabe. Feminists aren't the problem. You are.

by Anonymousreply 2909/03/2014

Dear r22,

Half of the people who decry women for being sluts are other women.

You're really going to ignore their part?

by Anonymousreply 3009/03/2014

Great rebuttal there, R29.

There's no doubt that some women are the targets of irrational hate for their sexual choices. But it's also true that this sexuality-as-empowerment feminist BS is tired, overdone, and not even necessarily sincere with some people, especially people in the media. And a lot of women categorize any criticism of that trope as "slut-shaming."

by Anonymousreply 3109/03/2014

[quote]What's it to you, honestly?

I just don't want to see anyone else become HIV-positive. There still isn't a cure.

by Anonymousreply 3209/03/2014

OP believes that being judgemental is the greatest thing you can achieve in life.

by Anonymousreply 3309/03/2014

Troll-dar r4 and see this thread light up like Times Square at night.

by Anonymousreply 3409/03/2014

Since Kartrashians started manipulating the media, by paying them for favourable articles.

by Anonymousreply 3509/03/2014

Slut shaming is sad and unnecessary

.I remember when I was at coed boarding school a girl was found in a boy's study at night. After we were all told by our teachers what a complete slut she was,she was expelled and made to walk out of the school to the waiting taxi in front of the whole school. Not one person said a thing as she held her head up high and got into the taxi ,but if you could read our thoughts at that moment it was if all 250 of us were one. She was a slut. I never forgot that.

That night ,after I had sucked off the resident hot, but complete school bully and rowing jock. He regaled our dorm with what a complete slut the girl was to vehement agreement from the rest of the dorm. He then got up and walked to the Chapel to get head from his girlfriend, the school snob,came back and then told everyone in the dorm in graphic detail what lousy head she have, to laughs from everyone, then he gave me the look that said to get to the bathroom so we could give each other mutual head again.

The girl who caused the scandal and became the catchphrase at the school for what a slut was,I found out later was a virgin and remained so until the day she got married. But to us she was the slut. Yep that is slut shaming.

by Anonymousreply 3609/03/2014

[quote]That night ,after I had sucked off the resident hot, but complete school bully and rowing jock.

And then you woke up and found you had been back in Kansas all along.

by Anonymousreply 3709/03/2014

[quote] I just don't want to see anyone else become HIV-positive. There still isn't a cure.

Who nominated you hall monitor?

by Anonymousreply 3809/03/2014

Hear, hear, OP!

by Anonymousreply 3909/03/2014

Unfortunately r37 it is true.

I say unfortunate,because besides being hot and popular and a great rower and me sucking him off for over a year,he was a complete bastard who made many peoples lives including mine a misery.

He would find their weakest spot and mock them till they broke down again and again. You would beg him to stop and he would continue more vehemently than before,until you were in tears.He did this to many people.

Yep I sucked him off and he sucked me off,but we were horny, sex was an uneasy truce ,a release for both of us. But there were many times I wished I could have clicked my heals and been anywhere but there.

by Anonymousreply 4009/03/2014

[quote]The girl who caused the scandal and became the catchphrase at the school for what a slut was,I found out later was a virgin and remained so until the day she got married.

That is QUITE the creative writing assignment, R36. Were you invited to the wedding? Did you inspect the newlyweds' sheets after the wedding night? How on earth do you expect us to believe you found that out?

by Anonymousreply 4109/03/2014

Someone who is truly not ashamed of their behavior, cannot be "shamed".

You can only shame those who feel guilty.

And yes, I make fun of the uber fat girls who wear short shorts & tube tops to the grocery store.

The way I figure it, if you have no sense, class or taste, I don't have to withhold my laughter.

by Anonymousreply 4209/03/2014

There seems to be no discretion or judgment today. People just have sex with other people for no reason, have kids outside of marriage without having a commitment first, and then break up and start the process all over again.

by Anonymousreply 4309/03/2014

[quote]Someone who is truly not ashamed of their behavior, cannot be "shamed".

Precisely. I agree with this wholeheartedly, and a lot of girls show their cards when they cry about 'slut-shaming.' If they took pride in what they were doing, it wouldn't matter what other people thought about it.

by Anonymousreply 4409/03/2014

r18, I think slut shaming has it's place if it's not used to justify homophobia or misogyny.

It's essentially excessive behaviour, and anything to extreme can be harmful.

I've known women who were slut shamed not because of misogyny but because it was a product of their drinking.

Do you want to wake up a hot mess in a wet spot who can't even remember what you hooked up with?

That's different from a woman who just likes to have a lot of (safe) sex with many men.

The white UMC tumblr crew who refuse to take personal responsibility for themselves and expect everyone else to do it for them are the real problem. They put too much emphasis on the latter point and not enough on the former.

by Anonymousreply 4509/03/2014

It's really hypocritical for us to slut shame since most of us on DL are big old sluts. I mean c'mon bathhouses, bookstores, glory holes. It does kind of piss me off that good looking women get so many good looking men and so easily. My momma said life would be fair, momma you lied.

by Anonymousreply 4609/03/2014

Just another way for the fraus to want to have their cake and eat it too. Look at me, I'm a regular Sex and the City gal, oh no you made me cry. I'm not a slut!!!

I'm a fucking whore. A slut. I'm 33. I've probably fucked at least 75 guys. I couldn't give a shit what anyone thinks.

by Anonymousreply 4709/03/2014

*its place

I wonder how many are really active sluts here, r46, since the average age skews older?

by Anonymousreply 4809/03/2014

R47, if what you say is true, then good for you. A lot of sex-positive feminists WISH they had your attitude naturally.

by Anonymousreply 4909/03/2014

Grandpa R47, your bitter is showing again.

by Anonymousreply 5009/03/2014

[quote]I'm 33.

You post like you're twice that.

by Anonymousreply 5109/03/2014

Because years later I met her best friend and we became friends. She told me and I have no reason to doubt her as we are still friends. The girl in question also ended up in my sister's girls school. My sister ,though I love her ,was a mega bitch at school and if there was any goss on someone to be had,she knew it. My sister never liked the girl,mainly because of her reputation, but she never saw anything to suggest the girl was anything but harmless.

Believe me when I say that though this may sound like creative writing it is not. It is actually a series of very painful memories where I helped contribute to this girls woes by not doing anything, by actively saying she was a slut and by sleeping with a guy,who I personally didn't like and made my life and many others a misery.

I was at 15 a romantic,who tried to write crap poetry to the person he had a crush on ,but never sent and ended up sleeping with a person I despised. My life wasn't fucking a sexual boys own story. It was hell r34

by Anonymousreply 5209/03/2014

OOOOO are you trying to age shame me? You're fat. That usually sends one of you fraus crying like nothing else.

by Anonymousreply 5309/03/2014

[quote]s this thread related to the Hollywood starlet photo and video leak? I have a feeling some slut shamers got their feelings hurt when not everyone jumped on their hate train.

Yes, and you would be correct.

by Anonymousreply 5409/03/2014

Straight men want a lady in public but a whore in the bedroom.

Women who love men want to please them.

This is what men want.

by Anonymousreply 5509/03/2014

[quote]It's really hypocritical for us to slut shame since most of us on DL are big old sluts. I mean c'mon bathhouses, bookstores, glory holes.

Speak for yourself. Only a minority of gay men are like that.

by Anonymousreply 5609/03/2014

[quote]There seems to be no discretion or judgment today. People just have sex with other people for no reason, have kids outside of marriage without having a commitment first, and then break up and start the process all over again

I don't think indiscretion about who these women had sex with was the problem. I personally could not care less how freaky these women are. The indiscretion came about when they took photos of themselves doing things they would never want anyone to see. Their boyfriends could have used the stuff against them at anytime. When you are a celebrated person whose career is completely centered around what audiences think of you, why would do something so dumb? That's really what they should be ashamed of, being so stupid about it, in an industry that's already notorious for quid pro quo.

by Anonymousreply 5709/03/2014

All you people who celebrate sluts are forgetting one very important thing. Sluts spread disease. Whoring around has a price.

by Anonymousreply 5809/03/2014

I'm not celebrating the disease!

I'm recovering from it!!!!

by Anonymousreply 5909/03/2014

It's not true that men are universally admired for getting as much as they can. There's something pretty sad about it, truth be told. Some sad compulsion probably felt by an empty person with no self awareness. All the guys I know who would be sluts if they had a uterus are not guys anyone admires.

by Anonymousreply 6009/03/2014

r57, I think it could've been done without cloud storage, better password protocol and locked down phones.

In fairness, I don't think enough info is public about how and where the breach occurred. Apple did admit to the cloud issue, though.

by Anonymousreply 6109/03/2014

"And yes, I make fun of the uber fat girls who wear short shorts & tube tops to the grocery store."

And they probably make fun of you right back, for being a silly bitchy queen who acts like a tween girl. Why you care what people wear? Stop being a busybody.

"The white UMC tumblr crew who refuse to take personal responsibility for themselves and expect everyone else to do it for them are the real problem. They put too much emphasis on the latter point and not enough on the former."

How about lecturing perpetrators about personal responsibility instead of victims? Don't people have a personal responsibility not to commit crimes?

by Anonymousreply 6209/03/2014

r62 I've done both, here and elsewhere.

I've found that any moderate, reasoned or 'compromise' position is usually not accepted on DL (or in general public discourse these days).

Everything is polarized.

by Anonymousreply 6309/03/2014

So Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton pose nude and then post the pictures on an accessible cloud based application? They are then "outraged" when the photos are leaked, making it seem like their privacy was invaded without accepting responsibility and not that they have the entire world picturing them naked???? You couldn't buy better press.

I call bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 6409/03/2014

"I've found that any moderate, reasoned or 'compromise' position is usually not accepted on DL (or in general public discourse these days)."

You are not moderate. You are railing against women and making unfair generalizations about them.

"So Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton pose nude and then post the pictures on an accessible cloud based application?"

Why not? Maybe they were just naive. A lot of people are. Or they just didn't know how easy it is for hackers to get into those applications. You are going to condemn them for that?

"They are then "outraged" when the photos are leaked, making it seem like their privacy was invaded without accepting responsibility and not that they have the entire world picturing them naked???? You couldn't buy better press."

Take responsibility for what? They didn't hurt anyone. They didn't commit a crime. The hackers did. How about asking THEM to take responsibility?

by Anonymousreply 6509/03/2014

r64 I think it was a legitimate hacking group.

They could & should have taken better precautions, but I don't think it's a total publicity stunt, as you seem to imply.

One of the actresses, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, is not known as a casting couch type/fame whore. She took those pics with and for her husband.

by Anonymousreply 6609/03/2014

I think the problem people have with slut-shaming is that women are targeted and men are not.

If it were true that promiscuity was the issue, then men would be slut-shamed, too, but they are congratulated. Men get praise for being sluts, women get called, well, sluts.

by Anonymousreply 6709/03/2014

Take responsibility for posting the pictures ANYWHERE that can be hacked. If they were private photos, they should be stored on a hard drive or device that has no potential for getting hacked. You have to really trust your partner to let them take nude photographs and even then, you risk the potential of the pictures getting out there. Someone of Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton's visibility and status know this.

I'm not shaming the pictures, I'm critical of their complete "naivete".

by Anonymousreply 6809/03/2014

r65 you are the one who is generalizing.

I was very clear about this being a particular set of females whose beliefs and actions are clearly visible on their own tumblr pages, as well as other sites on the web, especially twitter.

They refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and even safety because of their radical feminist beliefs.

While they have every right to do that, they shouldn't expect other people in society to step in out of moral hazard when something bad occurs and they suffer the consequences of ignoring reality.

by Anonymousreply 6909/03/2014

This is how I see gay slut shaming starting:

First there was sexual liberation in the 60s as part of the rebellious antiVietnam youth counter culture. There were terms like 'free love'. It was cool to fuck a lot.

Then came gay liberation with stonewall in 69 as the marker. Fucking a lot and sex clubs and bathhouse culture erupted. It was cool for gays to fuck a lot.

Then the HIV epidemic and Reagan's conservativism started around the same time. Gays who were until then into coming out and gay pride and gay sex started shrinking back. Many died.

The gay community rallied - and here lesbians stood by the men ravaged by the epidemic please note! Gays began to rethink gay life. Some went radical, others became conservative.

Gen X were pissed they couldn't enjoy being young, gay and free. Gay marriage became a goal.

Slut shaming started after this with the next generation who were born in the Reagan era and after. They do not have an empathy for the struggles that paved the way for their gay. They do not understand that having a lot of sex was part of that struggle.

Slut shaming is an expression of a conservatized America based on a faux-revival of pre 60s values.

by Anonymousreply 7009/03/2014

[quote]Gen X were pissed they couldn't enjoy being young, gay and free. Gay marriage became a goal.

Oh, yeah. Totally.

by Anonymousreply 7109/03/2014

R70 Our values are different because we have an easier choice to come out of the closet and live an out life. We don't have to resort to underground sex clubs and risk meningitis just to have a connection with another person. We can have a boyfriend and go on a date like a straight person.

I'm not saying older people are bad for doing what they did. They were not lucky enough to feel safe having a genuine relationship as we are today. Older people did not really have a choice. I'm sure most of them would have rather had real relationships but slept around because it was the only option.

Yes, there are always going to be gay guys who like sex clubs and porn addicts and bookstores just like there are straight guys who do it. It's not necessarily bad if it's their choice and they understand all the health risks, but it will probably end up being something only desperate, closeted, drug addicts do, and the rest of the gay community will probably consider it trashy, disgusting, and beneath them.

by Anonymousreply 7209/03/2014

R72, you have a good head on your shoulders. Well said. (Also, prepare for the attacks.)

by Anonymousreply 7309/03/2014

r72 is an idiot. MEN fuck, straight, gay, bi, give us the opportunity and men fuck. I'm sorry if r72 isn't getting laid but there it is. No one's generation is any different, Your Grandpa's generation was no different, little boys now in diapers will be no different.

"Slut" is a term rooted in misogyny, aimed at controlling a woman's sexuality.

I frankly see no profit in using it against ourselves.

by Anonymousreply 7409/03/2014

You think like an animal, R74.

by Anonymousreply 7509/03/2014

Humans are animals r75.

by Anonymousreply 7609/03/2014

R74 You can be in a relationship with someone who cares about you and still have a sex life. I understand not everyone wants monogamy and that's fine as long as everyone is consenting and you understand the health risks. Like I said, there are straight guys like that, too.

by Anonymousreply 7709/03/2014

"You have to really trust your partner to let them take nude photographs and even then, you risk the potential of the pictures getting out there"

It wasn't their partners who leaked the pics, what does that have to do with anything. They were hacked.

"They refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and even safety because of their radical feminist beliefs."

Your radical Republican beliefs lead you to falsely accuse women of not taking responsibility, while holding men to no standards whatsoever. Rednecks like to rail against radical feminists, Rush Limbaugh types have made feminists into some imaginary enemy. And only an idiot would use some random tumblr pages to represent all women.

"Take responsibility for posting the pictures ANYWHERE that can be hacked."

Take responsibility for hacking. Sociopaths and career criminals often justify their actions by taking advantage of people, then blaming their victims for being gullible and saying they deserved it.

by Anonymousreply 7809/03/2014

They shame themselves. I'm just a fan.

by Anonymousreply 7909/03/2014

Well I for one seriously miss slut-shaming, however I REALLY miss calling people bad mothers and fathers.

One has to be ridiculously tactful and surreptitious - the fact is these women WERE slutty and it is because they had bad parents!

by Anonymousreply 8009/03/2014

Sure you can r74, but the history of humanity is not one of consistent monogamy, if it was not absent completely (polygamy,) it was pretty much just winked at if you had a cock.

Slut was not a term applicable to men however promiscuous for most of it's usage.

I suspect that controls on sexuality were so important BECAUSE humans are not genetically an exclusively monogamous species.

by Anonymousreply 8109/03/2014

Wrong, r67.

Promiscuity IS the issue, because men usually only get praised for being promiscuous BY OTHER MEN.

Most women are heaping shame and disdain on all for promiscuity, dumping men, divorcing them, leaving them and hating men especially for it.

And the women who may cheer it on (you'll have to find me one) or put up with male promiscuity may be outnumbered by the men who ALSO decry promiscuity, abstain from it and reject other men for it.

So yes, promiscuity is the issue for most women and seen as a BAD thing by most men in their candidates for wives. They want to control her and they don't want to pay for or deal with other men's babies in THEIR wife.

The hypocrisy or double standard is when men don't tolerate mothering and whoring in the same person.

You really don't understand people and human nature.

by Anonymousreply 8209/03/2014

[quote]Sure you can [R74], but the history of humanity is not one of consistent monogamy, if it was not absent completely (polygamy,) it was pretty much just winked at if you had a cock.

Slut was not a term applicable to men however promiscuous for most of it's usage.

I suspect that controls on sexuality were so important BECAUSE humans are not genetically an exclusively monogamous species.

That should have been r77, sorry.

by Anonymousreply 8309/03/2014

[quote]Most women are heaping shame and disdain on all for promiscuity, dumping men, divorcing them, leaving them and hating men especially for it.

r82 that is something distinctly modern, when "slut shaming" began it simply was not the case.

It's still not the case in plenty of places. I suspect that if promiscuity was truly perceived as no different by gender your assertion would be even less true.

by Anonymousreply 8409/03/2014

Dear r70,

Promiscuous gay bathhouse culture is as old as baths.

Gays always had taverns and Molly Houses, too.

Homosexual promiscuity pre-dates the human species and nothing has ever completely wiped it out — not even Medieval Christian torture, Muslim executions or AIDS.

Homosex is a force of nature.

by Anonymousreply 8509/03/2014

Wrong again, r84!

Slut shaming toward BOTH men and women is distinctly JEWISH, CHRISTIAN AND MUSLIM.

At least a 3,000-year-old power struggle against sluts with DEATH, laws, torture and imprisonment were just some of the methods against promiscuity!

Somebody needs to dunk you in a water tank, burn you at the stake or pin a scarlet letter to your blouse!

by Anonymousreply 8609/03/2014

Why don't we just throw all the sluts under burkas?

That produces such a happy, healthy culture!!

by Anonymousreply 8709/03/2014

Show me in the bible r86 where men with multiple wives and concubines are "slut shamed" in anyway whatsoever. Let alone sentenced to death. Have you ever read the bible?

Frankly I have to chalk that argument up to wanting to be right since is so obviously contradicts so much of history.

by Anonymousreply 8809/03/2014

[quote]You really don't understand people and human nature.

But it sounds like YOU do.

Oh, you are so wise...

by Anonymousreply 8909/03/2014

I know R89.

If R82 was as smart as she thinks she is she would have realized she said exactly the same thing I did while simultaneously calling me wrong and accusing me of not understanding human nature.

It's funny how those with the biggest egos based on intelligence should be the most humble. But welcome to the Internet, right?

by Anonymousreply 9009/03/2014

R81, R83, R84 et al:

I didn't say monogamy is the only thing that has ever existed in history. I'm stumped how you could have ever drawn that conclusion from anything I said.

Monogamy is based on equality, self-respect, and respect for your partner. When you are promiscuous you use someone else for sex for your own selfish reasons. You are either taking advantage of someone else's low self-esteem and desperation or you are coerced into being taken advantage of because your inhibitions are lowered due to drugs or alcohol, mental health issues, etc., whether you realize it or not.

Some polygamists insist it is their choice to share their husband and they enjoy having sister wives, but if they are forced into it because of their patriarchal society or because of their religion it's more coercion.

Just because men take by force what they want does not mean it's a civilized, evolved practice, even if it is a historical one.

by Anonymousreply 9109/03/2014

[all posts by fucking cunt troll deleted.]

by Anonymousreply 9209/03/2014

MATTHEW, CHAPTER 19

Verse 6: [Jesus said] "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

Verse 9: "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 9309/04/2014

So many miss the point.

"Slut shaming" is rarely about actual promiscuous people. It's primarily about single women who use birth control (Sandra Fluke vs. Rush Limbaugh--ring any bells?)

It's about shaming "regular" people, usually women but often gay men (never straight men) for having sex outside of "traditional marriage".

It's usually white, conservative, Christian men doing the shaming.

Wake the fuck up, people. Single women on birth control are not our enemies. They're our allies and ideological sisters in a fight against a common enemy.

by Anonymousreply 9409/04/2014

Bible verses? Seriously? On DL?

by Anonymousreply 9509/04/2014

If you don't want to be humiliated by naked pictures, don't store them anywhere that can be hacked, leaked or otherwise publicized. Yes it sucks that people's privacy was violated but come the fuck on!!!! It's not like someone put a hidden camera in someone's bedroom or bathroom and published those pictures.

And if I had a daughter, I would tell her exactly the same thing. There are plenty of ways to keep private pictures private. If you don't want to face potential humiliation by a scorned lover or a bitter ex or a curious public or a pathetic hacker, keep your shit tight and be smart about how the world works these days.

by Anonymousreply 9609/04/2014

[quote]Bible verses? Seriously? On DL?

I believe he's trying to demonstrate male "slut shaming" in the bible - since he claimed it was there up-thread.

Unfortunately for him, the first verse says you can't get divorced, and the second says that you CAN divorce your wife for being a slut, and then anyone who marries her subsequently will have committed adultery. Because of course, she is still yours apparently.

by Anonymousreply 9709/04/2014

OP, what was it like to grow up with horses and no cars?

by Anonymousreply 9809/04/2014

[quote]If you don't want to be humiliated by naked pictures, don't store them anywhere that can be hacked, leaked or otherwise publicized....And if I had a daughter, I would tell her exactly the same thing.

Oh really? And if you had a son, would you ever tell him not to exploit, degrade or violate women? Which message do you think is ultimately more important for individual character development and the world at large? "Don't treat women like objects that you're entitled to exploit" or "be careful with your photos on cloud storage"?

Yes, let's blame the victims. Those sluts taking private photos with/for/by their partners were [bold]JUST ASKING FOR IT. [/bold]You can't blame anyone for wanting a look or going to great lengths to hack into the cloud past passwords and firewalls to steal private photos from women. That's just "boys being boys". But those nasty sluts? They had it coming for being so stupid AND slutty!

by Anonymousreply 9909/04/2014

If someone's idea of feminism is asserting her right to wear scanty clothing, get stinking drunk and do amateur porn without consequences, so be it. I find these women too ridiculous for words. Particularly when it's Lens Dunham standing up for these women's right to take beaver shots but telling people who look at the photos that they're perpetrating a crime. I think the effect of these pictures is to make these women more human and accessible. It's the reverse of the commoditization process that puts them on the red carpet in designer gowns and Harry Winston diamonds.

I don't think less of any of them after the photos. So they have boobs and vaginas. So what? The internet and Lens Dunham have made nudity boring.

by Anonymousreply 10009/05/2014

It was always bad.

It's worse when one lives in a society which is obsessed with sex, spends more money on sex, where practically everyone watches people being paid have sex (porn), and a great many want to have more sex and spend a great deal of money trying to look better or at least more fuckable so that they have more sex, and yet delight in being critical of those who are actually having the sex we watch or wish we were having more of.

In fact it makes us idiots.

next!

by Anonymousreply 10109/05/2014

[quote]standing up for these women's right to take beaver shots but telling people who look at the photos that they're perpetrating a crime

So, you think there are women who have nude photos of themselves taken, who then put those photos out into public circulation, then try to charge people with a crime when they look at the pictures?

That's stupid. You're stupid.

by Anonymousreply 10209/05/2014

Being judgmental is a the bad thing.

by Anonymousreply 10309/05/2014

[quote]They refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and even safety because of their radical feminist beliefs.

That is just ignorance.

First of all, radfems are not the pro-sex feminists. You're talking about libfems, a whole other subset of feminism.

And second, most of these women have no problem with their own behavior. They're complaining because strangers like you judge them for what they do in their private life, things that are none of your business.

This judgmental attitude has very real consequences. Gamergate, going on right now, is one example. A woman who slept with something like five guys in the gaming industry has spent weeks being excoriated by people all over the place who have made her sex life their business, trying to not only slut shame but get her kicked out of the industry.

She has no problem with her own sex life. Everyone else does, and now THAT is her problem.

by Anonymousreply 10409/05/2014

r102, you're far too literal in your reading and far too eager to insult me. Nowhere did I suggest the women put the photos into circulation or that Dunham wants viewers charged with a crime.

In law, there's a concept known as comparative negligence in which accident victims have their damages reduced by whatever degree their carelessness was responsible for the accident. I think these women were negligent to some degree but were undoubtedly victimized. Dunham doesn't view them as negligent at all, which I find childish and entitled.

Dunham also implores people not to look at the photos because they've been released through a criminal act. (Which by the way is also true of the Pentagon Papers.) I think it's ridiculous to shame the audience but exempt the women from But beyond that, I think 90 percent of the photos are no big deal, particularly because we're used to seeing actresses naked anyway.

by Anonymousreply 10509/05/2014

R104, wasn't the Gamergate girl sleeping with guys in the industry for positive reviews though? It didn't sound like just innocent fun with her peers.

by Anonymousreply 10609/05/2014

Slut shaming is a bad thing because there is nothing wrong with having sex.

Fat shaming, on the other hand, is something that I fully support. Unfortunately, when I step out of the house it often occurs to me that fat shaming doesn't seem to be working. I have never seen so many fat and proud people just letting it all hang out. Once upon a time women got to a certain age and stopped showing bellies and legs with the understanding that they had become a bit unsightly. But now so many young people are obese and they still want to dress in young, more revealing styles. I'm talking about high school age girls in short shorts with cellulite hanging down to their knees and thighs chafing together. Dimply bellies exploding over the tops of leggings. Screw muffin top. These exposed bellies look like the tops of collapsed soufflés. And just back from Kauai, I still can't believe all the obese girls in bikinis basting themselves on the beaches. Bodies like potatoes. Just grotesque.

You want to be fat? Fine. Just don't make the rest of us suffer.

by Anonymousreply 10709/05/2014

R72: good points.

My post was a response to the Opie's question: WHEN did the slut shaming start. To give a historic perspective, the historic underpinning of the mindset that we can afford to shame today.

Good for you to have an easier gay existence. Im sure many remember fighting for it back then for unborn gay children yet to come. I'm glad you know the risks of disease as so many of the sexual liberation generation, who flaunted our sexuality to show the world it exists, did not.

The struggle then was to come out and be accepted as gays. Marriage as the furthest thing on the minds of gay men. It was seen as square, bourgeois and status quo by a generation who wanted to change everything. It was not the gay middle class aspiration it is today.

Remember, or google, this was the time of swinging lifestyles and straight bathhouses like the fabled Plato's Retreat. And the blond boy who, in that iconic photograph, placed a flower in the barrel of a gun at Kent State, went on to found the anti-heteroimitation movement called the Radical Faeries and was one of the earliest to die from AIDS.

We stand gay and proud on the shoulders of sluts. Before we become smug and moralistic, let us remember, for our tomorrow, the sluts who fucked to their deaths, gave their today.

by Anonymousreply 10809/05/2014

R96 - you're exhausting. Some might say 'insufferable'. Up your meds.

How do you know the hackers were men?? Are you trying to say that women don't have the smarts or the ability to hack into the icloud? Are you saying that female hackers are less able to poach naked girlie pictures than men? Why do you think less of women? You don't think women have the same capacity to hack naked famous pictures as men do?

You should talk to your children about social and digital media the same way you discuss drugs, alcohol and sex. Waving your little flag doesn't make it go away. It doesn't matter whether I raise sons who respect women - there are plenty of other males who are not getting that direction at home and girls need to know this.

Man.

by Anonymousreply 10909/05/2014

Slut shaming has less to do with being a slut, but the fact that men can have sex in ways that women are not allowed to. Even women who have one partner are called sluts. It makes no sense.

Take the birth control debate in the US. No one freaks out if their teen son uses condoms to prevent pregnancy, but people freak out if their teen daughter responsibly takes birth control. Even if she has a steady boyfriend.

by Anonymousreply 11009/06/2014

[quote]Being judgmental is a the bad thing.

The ability to judge between smart and stupid behavior is what distinguishes humans from other animals.

by Anonymousreply 11109/06/2014

I have to agree the problem isn't the shaming... it's the definition of the word slut. Either it's bad for men and women equally to have indiscriminate, volume-based sex (which is my definition of a slut), or it isn't.

OTOH, I wish society in general was allowed to talk about sex only as often they have it. Might spare all of us from a bunch of boring people banging on about something they barely do.

by Anonymousreply 11209/06/2014

Boy do I get that r104.

by Anonymousreply 11309/06/2014

[quote]When did slut shaming become a bad thing?

When I realized that having 50 boyfriends in high school was more than Blanche had.

by Anonymousreply 11409/06/2014

r72 r108

One reason it pisses me off about the dialogue surrounding Kim Kardashian (separate from the overkill of their shows) is that she did not release that tape. Ray J did. The same Ray J parasite that was helping supply and enable Whitney Houston with drugs during her last days. But since Ray J was also in the video and "owned" half of it he at least had half legal right to do whatever he wanted to with it.

Men and women alike have had vicious reaction to Kim and that tape and have called her a whore and a slut among other things. That helped set the tone out in cyber space and social media to begin that kind of anger at women who are perceived to have a healthy and active sex life.

I think Kim's sex tape was ground zero for the popularity of slut shaming.

by Anonymousreply 11509/06/2014

Exactly

by Anonymousreply 11601/29/2016

How would you define, identify, and then shame a GAY slut? I couldn't even begin to imagine........

by Anonymousreply 11701/29/2016
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