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The true proof of the notion that "Hell is other people"...

... can be found any time you try to go to the theater to see a movie.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with people?

Sit down, shut up, & turn off your damn cell phone!

Oh yeah, and leave your goddamned 3 year olds at home!

by Anonymousreply 5203/30/2014

OP, here's a few tips from a veteran moviegoer.

(a) Don't see a movie in a theater unless you just can't wait for the video.

(b) Before you go, reconcile yourself to the fact that more likely than not there will be people there who don't know how to behave in a theater, and promise yourself that if you miss anything because of them, you'll see it again as soon as it comes out on video.

(c) Sit in the back row. That way the noise will be going in the opposite direction to you. If someone sits next to you or directly in front and starts acting like a jerk, move somewhere else.

If all else fails, pop a Xanax and enjoy the show.

by Anonymousreply 111/10/2013

OP, I go to the first showing. People that are actually interested in seeing the movie go to the first showing.

by Anonymousreply 211/10/2013

I normally try to go Sunday just before noon, so that most people in this over-religious area are in church.

That didn't work this time.

Why the fuck would anyone bring a 3 year old with the attention span of a gnat and no ability to use an 'inside voice' to a movie like "Thor: The Dark World"?

Jesus Christ.

by Anonymousreply 311/11/2013

This is the reason to always see movies at the Alamo Drafthouse.

by Anonymousreply 411/11/2013

I consider myself lucky that I can go on a weekday morning, when it's not so crowded.

Oh, and what R4 said. Can't wait for the AD in Manhattan to open.

by Anonymousreply 511/11/2013

Ooohh!, I hear you, OP.. It,s a nightmare. And it seems to be getting worse and worse. Sometimes, at Broadway musicals, when the overture begins, people start talking louder!! Trying to talk above the music. I mean:WTF? .. I attribute it to people's sense of personal entitlement outweighing their respect for communal behavior. At this point, for the most part, I just stay home and wait for the blu-ray to come out. (I'm older, so I'm not missing anything.)

by Anonymousreply 611/11/2013

My downstairs neighbor, who uses so much cleanser or air freshener, it wafts into my apartment and gives me a headache.

I'm with you on the contemporary movie-viewing experience, OP. I haven't been to one since 2007.

by Anonymousreply 711/11/2013

Agree w/ R5. If you happen to have off on a weekday, see your movie then. Practically empty.

by Anonymousreply 811/11/2013

Everyone is the star in the reality show that is their life. They don't care, they do what they want. When you have a culture that promotes aggression, selfishness, and loudmouth behavior, this is what you end up with.

by Anonymousreply 911/11/2013

This must be an urban experience. Every movie chain I go to features quiet theaters. There are teens - not a problem. There are adults - also not a problem.

by Anonymousreply 1011/11/2013

Often the kind and calibre of the film weeds out the low end of the human spectrum. In other words, you get what you deserve for seeing loud, uncreative Disney shite like Thor2 in its first weekend. Why would you pay for this experience? Steal it from them.

by Anonymousreply 1111/11/2013

Not necessarily, R11. I saw The Master last year in a fairly small arthouse venue, with the world's most annoying couple sitting a few seats away from me. They were mid-late 20s. No phone business, but they sloppily munched on a giant box of popcorn, slurped coke through the straw like water being sucked down a plughole, whispered loudly to each other (you know that kind of hissy whispering that's actually louder than if they just quietly leaned over and said something in their normal tone of voice), and made out at least twice during some of those long, dialogue-heavy scenes between Phoenix and Hoffman. Hell is indeed other people.

by Anonymousreply 1211/11/2013

I agree, OP. I am a frequent movie-goer and manners at the movies continue to slide downhill at a breakneck pace.

The sad thing is that kids (over the age of 6) act better at the movies, on the whole, than their fucking parents do!

I saw Cleopatra back in the summer as one of those Fathom Event-type things, and the middle-aged adults around me talked constantly! And I'm not talking about whispers, either. The way they conducted themselves, you'd have thought I was watching the movie in their living rooms instead of the fucking theater.

I don't understand it.

by Anonymousreply 1311/11/2013

That doesn't always work anymore r2.

by Anonymousreply 1411/11/2013

I agree. Here's a good book that helps explain it, R9, though it's a little dated.

by Anonymousreply 1511/11/2013

Our culture has become shockingly self-centered in a very aggressive way.

by Anonymousreply 1611/11/2013

Our culture ahs become shockingly rude and inconsiderate in a very aggressive way.

by Anonymousreply 1711/11/2013

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1811/11/2013

Someone brought a baby to the opera last week. No sense at all.

by Anonymousreply 1911/11/2013

They actually dared to eat popcorn and drink Coke, r12? Whoever heard of people doing that at the movies?! How dare they!

by Anonymousreply 2011/11/2013

Remember the dipshits who brought the newborn baby to the MIDNIGHT (!!!) show of BATMAN (!!!!!) that the psycho shot up in Colorado?

No fucking sense whatsoever.

by Anonymousreply 2111/11/2013

Well, don't go out into public if you expect it to be as quiet as your perfect little living room. I have three kids but I don't let them curtail what I want to do during MY free time. If I want to go to a movie theater and bring my kids to an R-rated film, that's MY business and I kindly suggest you butt out of it!

If i need to talk to my friend during a slow scene to express my feelings and due to a medical condition can't whisper, then that's MY Business and you shouldn't be listening in the first place!

If I need to check my smartphone to read texts and the light annoys you, BRING SOME DAMN SUNGLASSES.

My life, my time, my choices. I do what I want and you WON'T stop me.

by Anonymousreply 2211/11/2013

I will assume that R23 is satire?

by Anonymousreply 2311/11/2013

There is a way to eat and drink quietly, r21. If you aren't aware of that, then you were obviously raised in a barn.

by Anonymousreply 2411/11/2013

Went to the theater a couple weeks ago.

Once the lights went out the family in front of me pulled out stinky Subway sandwiches. They clearly knew they were wrong or they wouldn't have waited until the lights went out.

They proceeded to eat the entire first act.

by Anonymousreply 2511/11/2013

LOL, R23.

by Anonymousreply 2611/11/2013

I live in Philadelphia and I know when and where to go see a movie. It takes skill and practice. Won't have problems at the Ritz theaters, that's for sure.

by Anonymousreply 2711/11/2013

Okay, I have a bone to pick with YOU people. This is R23 again.

I have been busting my TAIL this holiday season to get the perfect gifts for my three children and DH and really just needed some *me* time and wanted to escape and go to the movies. Well, my DH was working the nightshift on Christmas Eve so I thought a movie would be in order, the hobbit one in fact.

Yes, it was a 12:30 am showing but my kids are all over the age of 3 so if they're bored they can just SLEEP through it! I was sitting in the movie theater and some MAN came up to me with some attitude and said "Isn't it a little late to have your kids at a movie?" Yes, my child was crying but it was only because a preview scared him. I told him to MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS and that I paid for ALL the tickets and that my child could cry if they wanted!

THEN just to make it special I had gotten Subway subs for me and my kids. We were going to eat them at the start of the movie. When the movie was starting, just after we unwrapped our Subway subs, someone shouted "Those sandwiches stink!" I couldn't help it and I shouted back "No, what stinks is YOUR ATTITUDE." I was standing up because I was so enraged and them someone screamed at me to sit down and to add to it they called me "TUBBY!!" He said something like "Sit down tubby, you're blocking my view!". This made my children very upset as they don't like to see their mother DISRESPECTED like that and now all three of them were crying. Kayden was saying that he wanted to leave but I'm a very prideful person and felt I should stay to prove my point.

At about halfway through the movie, my husband called me. By now it was at least 2 in the morning and now Christmas day. He wanted to wish me and the children a Merry Christmas so I woke them up and put my husband on speaker phone so we could all talk to him and plus I wanted him to hear the beautiful soundtrack. The movie was so loud (what is it with these loud movies nowadays??) that I had to put the speakerphone to maximum volume just so we could hear him. The older couple next to me seemed annoyed but I glared at them and that shut them up. Then my husband started singing a Michael Buble Christmas song (one of my favorite singers!) and that angry man in the theater came over and tried to grab the cell phone out of my hand! My children were in hystrics, this man was trying to ruin our Chrimstas! I felt threatened and scared for my life. Luckily my children were blocking the way because I had brought blankets and Kindles and tablets for them to play with if they got bored. I also brought Madisyn's portable DVD player and she was trying to watch a Disney movie (Tinkerbell) while we were watching the movie but ALSO due to the volume in the theater had to turn it all the way up. I do NOT let my children wear earphones as it damages their sensitive ears, ok? The man screamed that none of them could focus on the movie because their electronics were making too much light and sound. I was outraged and screamed at him "If a Little CHILD'S video game bothers you because the ittle wittle light is too bwight for you, BRING SOME SUNGLASSES." I then had no choice but to grab one of the leftover Subway subs taht we had left on the ground to be cleaned up by movie staff and i just grabbed it and FLUNG it at his face!

I had no choice to call the police but was SHOCKED when the staff came and told me I had to leave. That *I* was disturbing the viewing experience. EXCUSE ME? I am STILL furious about how I was treated and am probably going to talk to a lawyer.

by Anonymousreply 2812/26/2013

I've found Monday evenings to be the best time to go.

by Anonymousreply 2912/26/2013

I'm not interested in blockbuster action pics or cartoons. I like the offbeat little arthouse-type film. The kind that makes breeders-with-brats' heads explode.

by Anonymousreply 3012/26/2013

r29 WAY too long, Mar. Brevity is the soul of wit.

by Anonymousreply 3112/26/2013

If people would chew with their fucking mouth closed the world would be a much happier place.

by Anonymousreply 3212/26/2013

R32 ...who said I was trying to be FUNNY? What I described was a very DISTURBING ordeal for me!

by Anonymousreply 3312/26/2013

R29 - are you in my prayer shawl knitting group?

by Anonymousreply 3412/26/2013

THANK YOU OP! As a filmmaker and film buff, I have noticed a significant change in movie going etiquette in the past five years. It is almost impossible to see a movie in the theater without at least one person whispering throughout. It used to be a rare event. Now it's LITERALLY, every FUCKING time. Even if I go to a matinee at a small theater. I always hate telling people to stop because it's awkward and further disrupts my own experience, but now i've started doing it. What is WRONG WITH FUCKING PEOPLE? And the comments people make are so pointless and stupid. "Oh, that's the guy from Law and order". "No". "Isn't it?". SHUT THE FUCK UP!

by Anonymousreply 3512/26/2013

When I worked as an usher we would find dirty diapers, condoms, discreet vomit puddles, spat-out food. And even though there were trashbins conveniently nearby, most people left everything sit when they exited.

It was like Hurricane Katrina at the Superdome.

by Anonymousreply 3612/26/2013

When in NYC, unless you want to be gunned down, I would say try to avoid telling the cretins to stop talking during a movie.

by Anonymousreply 3712/26/2013

[quote]Even if I go to a matinee at a small theater. I always hate telling people to stop because it's awkward and further disrupts my own experience, but now i've started doing it. What is WRONG WITH FUCKING PEOPLE? And the comments people make are so pointless and stupid. "Oh, that's the guy from Law and order". "No". "Isn't it?". SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Just repeat what they say, verbatim, in a pleasant, conversational tone of voice.

by Anonymousreply 3812/26/2013

I just bought myself an 80" TV for this very reason. Not to mention sick people coughing and sneezing around me.

If there is a movie out that I really want to see in a theater, I will either take personal time off work, or fake a meeting or dental appointment (then make the work up later) so that I can go during the day. I've found the first show of the day is usually discounted and empty.

by Anonymousreply 3912/26/2013

There is the time-honored tradition in the African American community of "call and response"- communicating with what is going on before you.

To interfere with that would be racist.

by Anonymousreply 4012/26/2013

I have a good friend who will get up and say something to people if they do not shut up or keep creating a distraction. One woman jumped out and ran out of the theatre. Loved it! He is a masculine little piece of work so people won't talk back to him.

by Anonymousreply 4112/26/2013

No, R41. Just... No.

by Anonymousreply 4212/26/2013

I went to watch a movie once at a local shopping mall and the theater wasn't crowded so I had a few seats empty around me. But a young couple sat in the row behind me and the girlfriend proceeded to take off her shoes and rest her feet on the back of the chair next to me. I was so disgusted and stared at her feet for some time that her bf noticed and nudged her. She then placed her feet where it belonged on the floor. You think watching movies in the States is bad, try going to the cinemas in Asia where low class behavior is common. I tend to pay extra to watch movies in nicer venues away from the riffraff.

by Anonymousreply 4312/27/2013

R29 made me LOL. All-too plausible.

Brit here who goes to see just a few new movies each year; it's a business choosing the least sociable time and screen, but worth it.

An irony I suppose is that if I'm indeed one of five scattered about the screening, I feel able to eat (non-stinking) food and (non-garglingly) to drink. If the screening is fuller than expected, I'll be more circumspect.

by Anonymousreply 4412/27/2013

Go to the first or early afternoon show - when I ventured to our local multiplex to see Blue Jasmine which I wanted to see ASAP, there were only 7 in the cinema, no doubt its full of the popcorn munchers and cola slurpers and people on phones and chatting in the evening.

by Anonymousreply 4512/27/2013

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

by Anonymousreply 4612/27/2013

Brandishing a firearm before the movie begins always keeps things quiet

by Anonymousreply 4712/27/2013

R47, true but I've noticed that it's often middle-aged friends who chat during movies. People who look smart and responsible in the light transform into self-absorbed assholes when the lights go down.

by Anonymousreply 4812/28/2013

It amazes me that the only people I know who go to the theater are the ones who are constantly complaining about how broke they are. All the trash in my family were telling me about the several movies they were going to see in the theater during Christmas week. They were genuinely surprised to learn that I hadn't stepped into a movie theater in 4 or 5 years. I'd much rather wait and enjoy the movie in the quiet and comfort of my own home, with no cell phones or stupid conversation to distract me.

by Anonymousreply 4912/28/2013

I've gotten so I only go when a movie is about to leave theaters, at a late-night week-day showing.... hoping I can be the only person in the theater (or one of a very few, so I can sit very far away from them).

It usually works. Occasionally it doesn't.

But my in-the-theater movie viewing is WAY down over previous years due to how bad other people have gotten.

by Anonymousreply 5003/30/2014

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

by Anonymousreply 5103/30/2014
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