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How would you feel if your friend killed somebody by drunk driving?

Hey guys, I'm 23 and I'm struggling with how to feel about this situation. I have a friend whom I've known for about a year. We are not romantically involved in any way - I know him through another friend. I've hung out with him at parties, and he's a really nice guy.

I find out that a month ago, he got drunk at a party and drove his car on the wrong side of the freeway at 4am, hit a taxi head-on and killed a passenger, and injured two others. He himself had just minor injuries.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I think what he did was completely repulsive and horrendous. That person is dead. But do I support him as a friend? Is what he did unforgivable? How do I support somebody who did something so heinous? Especially when it's at odds with my impressions of him - he is genuinely a nice guy, but he made a terrible decision and has to live with the consequences. Also just fyi, he is extremely successful, he's young around 24, and went to Harvard, Oxford, and was in business school.

Have any of you experienced something similar? I feel like I should be supporting him as a friend, but I don't know how when I am so disgusted by what he did. What would you guys do? Thanks in advance.

by Anonymousreply 13205/03/2015

Sort through your own feelings privately . Be as supportive as you feel comfortable with. HE is the one who must suffer the consequences. So, any kind words on your part are not a bad thing.

by Anonymousreply 211/08/2013

What's happened to him legally?

by Anonymousreply 711/08/2013

This was in the news. The guy made a huge mistake and will pay either financially or by doing time in jail. But, given his background, I think he will eventually get his life back in order.

by Anonymousreply 911/08/2013

He's out on $250,000 bail. It's gonna be a tough legal fight.

by Anonymousreply 1011/08/2013

He should be rearrested for those 90201 sideburns and the excessive hair gel.

by Anonymousreply 1111/08/2013

[quote]"Also just fyi, he is extremely successful, he's young around 24, and went to Harvard, Oxford, and was in business school." What does any of this have to do with anything? Seriously, I'd love to know why you thought this information was relevant.

It's like in the newspapers. When a tragedy involves a car, if it's a luxury model the paper will print the name of the vehicle. It's irrelevant but somehow makes people think: "Wow it can happen to anyone."

by Anonymousreply 1211/08/2013

Folks like R9 scare me a bit "..good find.

OP ...if you at eRe an acquaintance. nothing more. If you are a closer friend , try to be supportive but avoid getting over involved. This guy is going to have a load of trouble. Unfortunately he didn't beat the odds that lots and lots of other people also gamble on.

And it cost his victims a great deal. And their families. And it will cost him too

by Anonymousreply 1511/08/2013

I've never been that confident about my driving that I would drive anywhere close to drunk. Never really understood that.

by Anonymousreply 2111/08/2013

Poor people in taxi cabs don't matter

by Anonymousreply 2211/08/2013

Ask yourself this question: what if this happened to you? Put yourself in his position and then you'll know the answer.

by Anonymousreply 2311/08/2013

While you ponder R23's question, remind yourself of the lives that were unalterably changed--and a life ended--by this gifted shit stain of your acquaintance.

by Anonymousreply 2411/08/2013

I've never understood how you can go the wrong way on an expressway and not notice. Signs are backwards, you're on the wrong side of the road, there are signs saying no entrance.

I just don't get how it happens. His blood alcohol was 0.15 - which is drunk but not blotto out of your mind drunk.

People - let this be a lesson - spend the $25 for a taxi.

by Anonymousreply 2511/08/2013

Who knows? Perhaps one day he will be First Lady!

by Anonymousreply 2611/09/2013

If he's a friend you stick by him. He didn't do it on purpose for God's sake. He'll be judged enough.

You're obviously not an important friend of his, so you don't have a problem really.

by Anonymousreply 2711/09/2013

I'm on the fence with this. It's not like he intentionally set out to kill someone or do harm. Alcoholism is a disease, and for some people, in their blacked-out stupor, they think they can operate behind the wheel of a car. I think it all has to do with his reaction to this. If he feels real guilt about what he did, you should support him. But if he doesn't, then it's probably best to cut the limited ties you have with him.

by Anonymousreply 2811/09/2013

Think of it as his having been a part of God's mysterious plan.

by Anonymousreply 3211/09/2013

r33, why is he automatically an addict because he killed and injured people DWI?

He's not the victim here.

I've known alcoholics who would never get behind the wheel drunk. I've also known casual drinkers who made it a habit.

by Anonymousreply 3411/09/2013

OP, it sounds like you're rubbernecking into the drama of an acquaintance. People died and you're worried about how it affects you personally? Just sit down.

by Anonymousreply 3511/09/2013

[quote]I have a friend whom I've known for about a year. We are not romantically involved in any way - I know him through another friend. I've hung out with him at parties, and he's a really nice guy.

So, he's really the friend of a friend? Has there been anything more than hanging out with him at parties... such as hanging out independently of others?

[quote]But do I support him as a friend?

Again, he doesn't sound like a particularly close friend, by your description. Does he consider you to be a good friend of his?

[quote]Is what he did unforgivable?


[quote]How do I support somebody who did something so heinous?

Like what? "Oh, don't worry, it's ok. It's not that bad... you'll get over it." Does he even need your support, this friend of a friend whom you hang out with at parties?

[quote]Especially when it's at odds with my impressions of him - he is genuinely a nice guy, but he made a terrible decision and has to live with the consequences.

Yes, HE must live with the consequences, not you.

[quote]Also just fyi, he is extremely successful, he's young around 24, and went to Harvard, Oxford, and was in business school.

So, even though he's guilty of manslaughter, he has all this going for him... which is the core of your desire to be friends with him. He builds up your social standing and you don't want to lose that.

by Anonymousreply 3711/09/2013

Zack Katz?

by Anonymousreply 3811/09/2013

bake him a cake with a file in it

by Anonymousreply 4011/09/2013

Back 30 years ago when I was in HS and then college most people drove after drinking to one degree or other at some point. It hadn't been hammered into us how stupid it was. It wasn't a big city where people used taxis. We knew it was wrong but not in a I could kill someone sort of way. We tried to be sort of responsible about it but it wouldn't be until some time after college where I really grew up and realized how dumb it was even if I only had a couple drinks.

I thank whatever god there might be that I never hurt anyone whenever I hear a story like this. So I'm as guilty as this guy and can't pass judgement just because I was lucky.

If I were him I would want to do some time if it made the family feel any better or speak to HS students about what I did to scare them from doing the same thing. If I was the family, I would want his license taken away but would also want to forgive so it wouldn't eat me alive, if he is remorseful. Hatred won't bring their loved one back and the guy will have to live with this forever as a punishment. If I was his friend and he was a nice guy who really fucked up and was truly sorry, I would be there for him.

by Anonymousreply 4111/09/2013

OP. it sounds like you barely know the guy.

by Anonymousreply 4411/09/2013


by Anonymousreply 4611/09/2013

[quote]Alcoholism is a disease, and for some people, in their blacked-out stupor, they think they can operate behind the wheel of a car.

I used to drink alcoholically when I was Zach Katz' age. I simply didn't drive when I was drunk. Fortunately, I lived in a city where I didn't have to drive. Eventually I got sober.

This guy must pay, somehow. Even if he didn't [italic]mean[/italic] to kill anyone, someone is dead as a direct result of his actions.

As for Opie, well, it doesn't sound as if this accident affected you directly. Keep living your life as you already live it. Forget about Zach. He's only a friend-in-law.

by Anonymousreply 4711/09/2013

Hmmm... He has to have his "dark night of the soul"?? I think not.

A certain Kennedy comes to mind.

by Anonymousreply 4811/09/2013

My brother killed his BF both of them drunk. Traumatic.

by Anonymousreply 4911/09/2013

He's wealthy, white, and male. I'll be shocked if he does any jail time but I think he will have to pay out in a civil suit. In 3-5 years none of this will matter, he'll be a master of the universe making a shitload of money, and will be as entitled as ever. So entitled in fact, that it will probably happen again at some point. Like I said, he won't go to jail but someone should see to it that he's never allowed to drive again in his life.

by Anonymousreply 5011/09/2013

I wrote about my DUI several years ago here on DL and was crucified for it.

I suspect there are MANY DL'ers who've gotten one. Many many people have.

I didn't hurt anyone except myself, but of course I could have easily caused a horrible accident or death. Point is, I was so shamed by it (angry at myself; I took it far more seriously than anyone else did) that years later I'm still not over it.

Your friend will be in hell over this for years. He will likely never forgive himself. Be his friend, even if you haven't known him that long. Send an email that just says, hey, I know you are going through a lot, and I care about you. That is enough, and it is kind.

by Anonymousreply 5111/09/2013

OP, how does he think about what happened? is he sorry about what he did and what kind of pain he brought upon others - and not about what will happen to him?

by Anonymousreply 5211/09/2013

Is there anybody here who does not think that OP just wants to sleep with this guy?

by Anonymousreply 5411/09/2013

"Never heard of a drunk driving jew before this one."

What kind of ridiculous statement is this? Jewish people do this quite commonly for some reason--a Jew does something wrong, and their immediate response is "I've never heard of a murderous Jew" or "I've never heard of a methhead Jew," as if they can inoculate the group from any potential collective blame by asserting that NO other Jew has ever committed that particular wrong. It's an irritating habit that only draws the exact attention you're trying to avoid--I didn't even think about his ethnicity until you pointed it out.

by Anonymousreply 5511/09/2013

Agreed, R55. I was Shabbos goy at a mostly Jewish AA meeting that met on Saturdays. There [bold]are[/bold] Jewish alcoholics.

by Anonymousreply 5711/09/2013

he pleaded not guilty today to one count of vehicular manslaughter and two counts of felony drunken driving causing great bodily injury.

how can he be not guilty!?!? those with legal experience - is this usually the case for drunk drivers to plead not guilty? i have no idea about the legal system works.

by Anonymousreply 5811/12/2013

First of all, I'm not clear on the driver's orientation. Is he Gay?

Secondly, AA teaches that the alcoholic is powerless over alcohol, so he had no control over the situation. That should count for something.

by Anonymousreply 5912/03/2013

OP, there are people whose job it is to see that this man is held responsible for his actions. That's not your job. If he was your friend once, consider that he's really going to need his friends now.

by Anonymousreply 6012/03/2013

My dad would be 90 if he was alive. He passed 6 years ago. My dad never drove. I never really knew why until shortly before he died. It turns out that back in the day, my dad was quite a rebel (I knew that). He was a very gentle man as an adult. When he was 16, he and some buddies went out and got drunk. Dad drove the car they were in. He hit someone and that person died. The judge told my dad's folks that he could either do reform school or the military. Dad enlisted and spent 14 years in the service.

That accident changed him. He never ever drove again.

by Anonymousreply 6112/03/2013

You're in an awkward spot, but it sounds like you're friendly acquaintences rather than friends in the way most define it. If he asks your viewpoint, give it honestly. He should remember that he killed an innocent, albiet it accidentally, and that he should seek to make amends. At least he ought to make the ordeal as painless as possible for the loved ones of the people he harmed. I'm sure you feel the same way.

by Anonymousreply 6212/03/2013

[quote] albiet it accidentally

You should make amends for your spelling.

by Anonymousreply 6312/03/2013

I sure as fuck wont get into any car he is driving.

by Anonymousreply 6612/06/2013

Why are people assuming that this guy is an alcoholic?

Even if he is, and has no control over his drinking, that gives him no excuse for getting behind the wheel after he drinks. Period.

by Anonymousreply 6712/06/2013

omg I hope his defense isn't going to be like this guy's "affluenza," meaning he's too rich to understand the consequences of his actions, EVEN IF HE GOT DRUNK AND KILLED 4 PEOPLE AND PARALYZED 1!

by Anonymousreply 6812/13/2013

My guess is that your friend is posting numerous pretentious statuses on Facebook regarding the wonderful life that he is living. He may even be bragging about a book (or three) that he's currently writing. He might even be getting "maddd" likes from people who want to be supportive of him (or for whatever reason they do it). However, what dear Zachary fails to realize is that most people with at least a half functioning brain believe him to be non-repentant, scum sucking piece of shit, and that there is nothing he can do to change this.

To Zach: Nobody gives a shit that you're "writing a novel". Nobody believes any of the fake stories you post on your statuses, especially that over the top one regarding you babysitting a COMPLETE STRANGER'S daughter that you met one day for five minutes in Manhattan. People who pity you are the worst. Your post that you were "alive" a mere two days after the incident demonstrates just how much of a immoral, selfish sociopath you truly are. You deserve the worst punishment possible, whatever that may be. But that punishment certainly should not involve you being free in order to "live with your guilt" because you don't have any.

Burn in hell.

by Anonymousreply 6903/20/2014

People (especially young people) make bad decisions sometimes. I assume from what you say about him that he's sorry and remorseful.

I say forgive it, but if you detect any behavior that would suggest he has not learned from the experience, I would consider cutting him off.

I know I would not want my whole life judged on the single worst thing I've ever done. And I would bet that everyone here has driven drunk at least once, and got lucky that there was no accident.

by Anonymousreply 7003/20/2014

Hey Martin Van Buren, you made one grammatical error in your post. I wrote a 50,000 word novel and made zero of them. (snicker)


by Anonymousreply 7103/20/2014

Some crimes are unforgivable.

Personally, a single incident of DWI is not one of them. People do stupid things when they are drunk. Especially young people. Have you cut off all friends and relatives who have been caught DUI or DWI? Or more tellingly, have driven while intoxicated and not been caught?

I would feel differently if someone were a repeat offender. If someone doesn't learn from a tragic mistake there is something wrong with their character.

by Anonymousreply 7303/20/2014

I wonder if the moral absolutists like R5 and R24 have NEVER driven under the influence. I doubt they haven't.

[quote]how can he be not guilty!?!? those with legal experience - is this usually the case for drunk drivers to plead not guilty? i have no idea about the legal system works.

EVERYBODY pleads not guilty to EVERY charge. If you are going to admit guilt, you negotiate a plea.

by Anonymousreply 7403/20/2014

[quote]He himself had just minor injuries

They always walk away.

by Anonymousreply 7503/20/2014

Actually, they don't always walk away. Plenty of drunk drivers kill themselves.

by Anonymousreply 7603/20/2014

Maybe if you blew him a few times a day, he would stay out of the bars and not drive drunk!

by Anonymousreply 7703/20/2014

This is tough, however, your friend didn't do it on purpose, likely has a problem, and needs more compassion than brow beating.

by Anonymousreply 7803/20/2014

Ugh he just invited me to like his facebook fan page about a new book he's published called "Century Village." Everyone on the facebook page is showering him with congratulations and compliments.


His hearing was rescheduled to April 24 with a two-hour estimate. I really wonder what is going to happen.

by Anonymousreply 8004/19/2014

Does anyone knows what happened with the hearing?

by Anonymousreply 8104/29/2014

There but for the grace of God go almost all of us. Who among us has never driven an auto while incapacitated?

by Anonymousreply 8204/29/2014

Is this the same guy? If so, I'd like to know if his behavioural problems have any relevance to him killing someone - it looks like there was a nasty custody battle for him when his (adopted) parents divorced, from the link : "failure to address Zachary's behavioral problems, Judge Wylie found that an immediate change of custody to Murphy would be in Zachary's best interests."

Of course, IF it's the same guy.

by Anonymousreply 8304/29/2014

I know a guy who killed someone while driving drunk; accidently hit a nun crossing a street during a dark and rainy winter night in Munich.

Why would you even consider ending a friendship for this reason? Your friend will suffer greatly the rest of his life just as mine does.

by Anonymousreply 8404/30/2014

This guy is not suffering. He's releasing a book, holding parties, and his friends are congratulating him.

by Anonymousreply 8504/30/2014

R83, That Zachary Katz seems to be the wrong age. Born in 1991 would be 22 in 2013.

by Anonymousreply 8604/30/2014

[quote] Who among us has never driven an auto while incapacitated?

The millions of people who live in cities where there is public transportation.

Millions more who understand that they should have a designated driver.

by Anonymousreply 8704/30/2014

[quote]Who among us has never driven an auto while incapacitated?

Raising hand.

by Anonymousreply 8804/30/2014

Any updates on this Zachary scumbag? Is there any chance he's going to go to jail?

by Anonymousreply 8904/30/2014

People like r82 who hide behind their so called "compassion" need to be erased from the face of the earth, along with the OP and his murderous "friend."

by Anonymousreply 9004/30/2014

Yes, he is releasing a novel tomorrow. But, it's self-published, so it isn't like a major publisher actually thought it was any good. He even had to pay designers online to design the artwork for his book cover. I wonder what the hell he is doing for money? He clearly isn't working, as he spends half the day making statuses about what he "overhears" in coffee shops.

Glad to know that there are people out there who are also disgusted with his behavior, and who don't understand why there are people on his Facebook showering him with compliments. The guy just doesn't get it; he's posting online and pretending like there is nothing wrong while he brags about how great he is. He really is one of the worst scumbags ever.

by Anonymousreply 9104/30/2014

There are a lot of ways he can be found not guilty. Its rarely cut and dry. A lot of it has to do with involuntary acts. Like if he was drugged, had a seizure, had the BAC test administered improperly, etc. The law is innocent until proven guilty for good reason.

by Anonymousreply 9205/01/2014

I'd think my plan was working purrrrfectly.

by Anonymousreply 9305/01/2014

Zach Katz killed a guy.

by Anonymousreply 9405/07/2014

Tell him you like him as friend, but he did wrong and deserves punishments as...he did wrong, unfortunately.

by Anonymousreply 9505/07/2014

OP, if I were you I would be supportive and remain friends with him. Doing so will in no way take away from the gravity of his offense. It may not be easy but he made a horrible mistake driving drunk, but there but for the grace of destiny go a great many of us.

Put yourself in his shoes. You've done something tragic and deeply, fundamentally regrettable. (the fact that you might never have done such a thing is beside the point; to err is human and this act, though horrible, was not intentionally cruel).

Wouldn't you value those who stuck by you.

Loving the forsaken is a fine thing.

by Anonymousreply 9605/07/2014

You are talking about a moral monster. He is a habitual liar who has manipulated many people who care about him into believing all manner of trumped up stories. He claims to have accomplished a litany of things that he has not accomplished. He has lied about having various serious medical conditions to elicit unwarranted sympathy. He has lied gratuitously about both imagined hardships and fictitious accomplishments on his applications to the elite universities you list. And now he has killed a man through willful negligence.

His cheerful self-promotion on facebook after such a horrific wrongdoing is sickening. How could anyone other than a monster move on so happily and quickly after ending the life of an innocent man in such a thoughtless, selfish way?

by Anonymousreply 9705/08/2014

"I'm a marriage-wrecker, a gambler and a rat.... but I'm not a murderer."

William Holden's statement after killing a man while driving drunk in Italy 1966.

by Anonymousreply 9805/08/2014

R73 & R82, it wasn't a simple DUI/DWI where he was pulled over, booked, and his license taken away.

Zack's situation is entirely different. He did hit someone, injured a couple people, and killed one. It's not the same as getting a DUI.

by Anonymousreply 9905/08/2014

[quote] "I'm a marriage-wrecker, a gambler and a rat.... but I'm not a murderer."

Yes, he is. And so is Zachary.

by Anonymousreply 10005/08/2014

I think the OP has a crush on Zack. Even though they're mere acquaintances, he feels compelled to help out and stick by Zack because of his attraction to him. That's not different from other posters here who lust after attractive convicted killers. But since OP actually knows the object of his affection, it's closer to home.

by Anonymousreply 10105/08/2014

I remember one of the articles stated that Zach feels "horrible" about the situation. Doubt it, he probably only feels horrible because it is affecting HIM. If Zach truly cared about what he did, he would have donated the proceeds from his book to the family of the victim, or to the cause of stopping drunk driving.

Instead he's donating some of it to MS because his mom has it.


by Anonymousreply 10205/08/2014

Zachary Katz killed someone lolz

by Anonymousreply 10305/08/2014

Here's his Amazon page for his stupid book. Some people have already called him out on how he's a murderer, but what's more ridiculous is the people who defend him in the comments: "how unfair of you to blindly believe media and say he's guilty"

Please lower his fucking book rating to less than 4 stars.

by Anonymousreply 10405/19/2014

This person is a murderer. He got away with murder. I know for a fact he left a former job under shady circumstances and he's a terrible human being. Look at his shallow self promoting twitter page. Says it all. He should be rotting in jail, instead he is shamelessly promoting a book that will make him money....?

by Anonymousreply 10507/20/2014

There, but for the Grace of God, could have at one time or another gone almost everyone who has commented on this post.

by Anonymousreply 10607/20/2014

I can't 106 people responded to this government-created thread.

by Anonymousreply 10707/20/2014

I'm "friends" with him on fb, mostly so i can read and laugh at his ridiculous statuses

"Soulmates = wake up at 6am, independently, excited for historical sites despite being on a tropical vacation island and staying at a resort #hawaii"

Anyways, he DID post a status recently (and subseqently deleted it) that makes me scratch my head. It said:

"Best of luck and congratulations to my talented, inspiring, world-changing friends waiting for the Round 1 admissions call from Stanford GSB tonight. I can't wait to get to know you and the the rest of the Class of 2017 even better in the fall"

If Stanford DOES let him re-enroll next year, I think it will be a huge moral failing. I cannot for the life of me believe they would let him back in AFTER he has showed 0 remorse for his crime AND after the fact that he ended someones life.


by Anonymousreply 10812/12/2014

I think there are two different issues here (at least)

1. How would you feel if a friend killed someone drunk driving?

2. How do you feel about some entitled, rich, pampered jerk, if he did the same, then profited off it, escaped punishment, and had no remorse?

The two got convoluted in the responses, but they are very different.

by Anonymousreply 10912/12/2014

1. How would you feel if a friend killed someone drunk driving?

I would feel bad for my friend and try to be supportive of him, since there are other people who's job it is to hold him accountable; and others who would take the opportunity to pile-on. My friends are all nice people who would hate themselves for this.

2. I'm not going to speculate on this nut job. He's a different story, if what I e read it true.

by Anonymousreply 11012/12/2014

what happened to him?

by Anonymousreply 11112/25/2014

TPTB cannot bring themselves to punish a golden boy and ruin the golden boy's life. His parents invested $1million into his private education from pre school to grad school. People like that never face consequences. Exceptions are made. I know a golden boy he was accused of tag team rape on some girl he and his friend met at a bar and hassled for a ride home. He ultimately got convicted of lesser charge of sexual gratification so that he would not have to report as a sex offender. He got 30 days in jail with work release. He got off because he is a golden boy, the type guys have guy crushes over, and the judge didn't want to damage his future. Meanwhile black and Hispanic boys are primed for the prison industrial complex from their first fist fight in grade school. No passes given.

by Anonymousreply 11212/25/2014

In the past couple of years, I have met people like this. Who feign caring about people. I see through it now. They're sociopaths.

by Anonymousreply 11312/25/2014

Refrain from starting new threads.

by Anonymousreply 11412/25/2014

He may have killed people in a drunk driving accident but there is no indication anywhere that he is not remorseful!

Just because he isn't constantly moaning about it on Facebook means nothing.

He also wrote a book so created a facebook and twitter page as all authors do nowadays.

He pleaded not guilty as every lawyer worth his salt will demand his client do. This way he can either plead to a lesser charge or prove in court that something occurred that made him drive the wrong way beyond his control.

It seems to me that he is doing exactly what each one of us would do if we had killed someone in an accident.

by Anonymousreply 11512/25/2014

A friend of mine did this too. It was a couple days before Christmas and the woman he killed had two children under the age of 4. The casual way that he and his family have handled the situation ("well, they SAY that SHE crossed the yellow LINE!"), etc. makes me sick. He was fucking wasted. He writes from prison on occasion, but fuck that. If I had done such a thing I would be DEVASTATED and would be in a mental institution. I don't get it. Anyway - he's on his own (this was not his first DUI).

by Anonymousreply 11612/25/2014

No, R115. He's tacky. And latently sociopathic.

by Anonymousreply 11712/25/2014

My mother was almost murdered by a drunk driver. Two weeks in intensive care, followed by an additional three weeks in a regular unit, surgery to remove her spleen, punctured lung, twenty one broken/fractured ribs, shoulder fracture, scalp and facial lacerations, severely bruised elbow and wrist, and four broken fingers. It was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry.

People who choose to drink and drive need to beheld responsible for the lives the take, and the injuries to those who survive. Is that clear enough for you OP?

by Anonymousreply 11812/26/2014

There's part of me that looks back on my own life and sees that there were times I did incredibly stupid things while drunk, including borrowing a friend's car intending to kill myself over a girl.

I can remember so many stupid stunts.

But one of the things I remember about those times was that no matter how wasted I was, there was an element of having to remain responsible. To tell the truth, I had no concern for my own safety or for anyone in the car. But I was always aware that there were innocent people on the road that did not need to be engaged with some drunken asshole's shenanigans, whether they amount to a fender-bender or a loss of life.

That's what I don't get about cases like this. Even if you're drunk, it's incredibly easy to stay on the right side of the freeway.

And, OP--you are going to have to evaluate your friendship with your friend totally on your own. You cannot judge him based on what he did or on what people conclude about what he did. On the one hand, he did not hurt you; and he did not show himself to be the kind of person who would go out and deliberately hurt people. On the other hand, he has shown himself to be the kind of person who would hurt people without deliberation.

by Anonymousreply 11912/26/2014

"Time for a bit of Facebook realness, as saying - which so many are - that 2014 was the best year of my life would be to elide the truth. Because by nearly all measures, 2014 was the worst year of my life. And while others might be excited to enter a new year that they can only dream will be just as great as the one ending tonight, I'll be starting 2015 with the hope that it is absolutely nothing like 2014, on any account.

Not that there weren't highlights - publishing my first novel, meeting my soulmate, and living in the city of my childhood - but those sat truly within a milieu of much lower notes. 2014 was the year of crisis of self, and crisis of confidence. It was the year that suicidal depression got the better of me on more than one occasion, for which I sat in a white-walled dungeon for hours on end certain that the world would have been better off without me. 2014 was the year in which I switched career trajectories, questioned whether I could ever pull off writing a great book, and wondered whether every critically valued author has faced the sort of mind-numbing, crazy-inducing hours in front of the page, deciding on a single word - which I still haven't answered. 2014 was the year in which I made new friends but lost many more, whether to distance or my own weaknesses as a person. It was the year I moved four times, briefly dated a convicted arsonist who broke up with me because *I* was the one who was morally suspect, and had my first three wasp stings, all at once. In 2014, I made the least money I've made in a year since age 16, and did not once travel internationally after visiting 15+ countries in 2013. It was the year I woke up, nearly every third morning, with an anxious pounding in my chest from a nightmare that has haunted me since last October: the car accident; the glass; the confusion. It was the year I watched classmates and other peers climbing higher, higher, in a rapid trajectory that was once mine, only to have fallen off. It was the year I lost faith in God. It was the year I gained 15 lbs. from being unable to exercise, neither tennis nor skiing nor boxing, thanks to a broken arm and sliced quadricep muscle at the knee. It was the year I had my first cavity."

by Anonymousreply 12001/06/2015

The arsonist has a point.

by Anonymousreply 12101/06/2015

Arsonist does have a point! According to the news story below, he should have had a jury trial Dec. 1. I wonder what the result was. His facebook is just a constant scroll of self-advocacy.

by Anonymousreply 12201/09/2015

Also! Here's a recent pic of him and his boyfriend. Zach is on the left.

by Anonymousreply 12301/09/2015

Any news on the trial that should have happened last December?

by Anonymousreply 12401/26/2015

Trial was postponed again! :-/ Hope that irresponsible killer go to jail for the rest of his life!!! His family can have all the money in the world but that does not and will not buy honest people!!!

by Anonymousreply 12502/12/2015

Only one way to settle this boys, Danny zuko style if you catch my drift.

by Anonymousreply 12602/12/2015

Is there a new date set?

by Anonymousreply 12702/17/2015

he posted on his facebook that he got diagnosed with epilectic seizures recently. just another ploy to use at his trial?

by Anonymousreply 12803/03/2015

I got about 20 words through this shit: "My diagnosis is temporal lobe epilepsy, which means my brain has seizures. They aren’t convulsive or unsafe. Brandon can tell when they’re happening. I come down with auras, which means I’m filled with a wonderful inner light. That’s how Dostoyevsky put it, and he’s right. I stare frozen straight ahead while my mind travels places. Sometimes it’s 2012. Other times it’s 2005. I see the world in colors that don’t exist. After two minutes away I become myself.

Temporal lobe epilepsy works like this: You hear what people say but it’s never English. Your words are vowel soup. Everyone drones on while you hear music – usually for me the piano. It smells like burning rubber but reeks of magical bliss. Your grandmothers are suddenly alive and cooking. Your creativity becomes planetary – it bends ideas around it. Symphonies and novellas are composed in thirty seconds, and everything will be alright. They have to shake you awake, which doesn’t really work because you don’t want it to. You have won pathology roulette.

Except for what comes next, which are the seizures themselves, and what’s called the post-ictal state. I lose my taste and smell. I tremble on my right side and spill boiling water I cannot feel. Black darkness blots out three entire days. Dostoyevsky said that, too. His words make sense to me: it is hell ascended to earth. I didn’t know you could cry from déjà-vu. He didn’t know that either. He at least was brilliant from it. But all I got is this robot helmet, which looks like a bomb. — at The Mount Sinai Hospital"

by Anonymousreply 12903/07/2015

Great one. "They aren’t convulsive or unsafe." I am sure the guy he murdered wouldn't agree if he was alive.

by Anonymousreply 13003/07/2015

Well a normal person probably wouldn't. But the selfies he posted in the hospital suggest he thinks it is a big joke tbh.

by Anonymousreply 13103/07/2015

When was the trial postponed to? Has it happened yet?

by Anonymousreply 13205/03/2015
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