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DL as a primary social outlet

How many of us is this currently true for?

I work at home, am out of a bad relationship, and in a city where I know few people. Two of my closest friends are out of town on long term assignments. I'm not close to anyone else here, either physically or emotionally. Yes, I'm also depressed, though whether that's a result of the above or a cause, I'm not sure.

Right now this is it. That's been true off and on for years, if I was traveling, living in a new place, or was staying in abusive relationship and getting a silent treatment.


by Anonymousreply 2811/09/2013

As user-generated content outlets go, it's one of three I keep open.

I was a caregiver for someone with advanced dementia for the last nine years. Outings were regimented and brief. Sounds freaked him out. Having people over irritated him after a few minutes.

Datalounge was quiet enough to where I could listen for signs of trouble, robust enough to enter and leave without a fuss, and wild enough to provide good links and reading material that pertained to my interests.

Now it's a habit. I apply for a job and then check this site. I clean the house and then check another.

Hopefully, employment will help me break the habit.

by Anonymousreply 111/07/2013

DL is my primary social outlet. I am unemployed and depressed. I never thought my life would turn out this way, but it did, and DL helps me from feeling completely isolated.

by Anonymousreply 211/07/2013

It's like going out for a beer every night with a random bunch of queens without the boredom of actually having to stay all night.

by Anonymousreply 311/07/2013

It makes me feel less alone and entertains me as well. Sure, it's no real replacement but.. :-)

by Anonymousreply 411/07/2013

I've long suspected that most of the guys here are closet cases, and that they use this as an 'outlet'.

If this is your primary social interaction, and you're out, you have got to get out and mingle! This site is great for gossip, but this is not some congenial group filled with loving friends. It's pretty mean-spirited and snarky, which can be funny, but it should absolutely not be your social outlet.

by Anonymousreply 511/07/2013

I'm out, R5. I've been out since middle school. Being out is not a protection against poverty and depression. I think a lot of the `regulars` here are socially isolated but not necessarily closeted.

by Anonymousreply 611/07/2013

R5 i actually find that here guys are just more honest about what they think,and in clubs it's all the same,but people try to be polite.

i quite enjoy the brutal honesty actually.

i'm 23 and this is my primary social outlet.

i'm not hot,but i'm not into hook ups so don't feel much loss and it seems that guys only want sex

i'm also financially challenged which is a problem.

i don't think i'm missing out at all ,have one girl-friend,she is busy with shitty job,a kid and a husband.i'm also her only friend.

i used to have friends until recently but it just seems people want to take what they can from you and friendship is based on that.i feel no desire to have takers in my life as what i have for myself is so little.

by Anonymousreply 711/07/2013

I am 42, born in raised in Toronto, and have been out since I was 20.

DL is probably the closest thing I have to friends - my life is work, psychotherapy, come home and surf. This DOES NOT replace physical friends or a relationship, but I am coming to terms with the idea that may never happen for me.

I feel better and worse for coming here. Better, because I can relate to so many people and have common interests - this reminds me that I really do like gay men, and really want to be part of a group. Worse, because it makes me even more upset that I just cannot build relationships in person.

by Anonymousreply 811/07/2013

I love the brutish anonymity. We're like bitches in burqas.

by Anonymousreply 911/07/2013

I often laugh out loud reading DL, and then I wonder if the isolation has really made me crazy and perhaps what I'm reading isn't even that funny.

For the most part, though, I think that a lot of the posters here are just genuinely funny. There's usually at least one in every thread.

by Anonymousreply 1011/07/2013

I'm 42, been out since I was 16, am in a long term relationship, but friends have drifted or screwed me over and I'm not particularly open to giving it another go with the friendship thing. DL is entertainment and offers a certain degree of freedom because it is anonymous, although there are occasions where people post that I'd rather like to have a beer with.

by Anonymousreply 1111/07/2013

Having moved back to my home country, if it weren't for Datalounge I would have gone crazy

by Anonymousreply 1211/07/2013

I also work at home, so basically DL is my life during the day. I'm single too, so DL is my life at night. I have friends and go out whenever I feel like it, but I'm perfectly happy to interact with DLers as much as creepy guys at bars.

by Anonymousreply 1311/07/2013

I love DL. I left you for a while for Twitter but I soon saw the error of my ways. I'll never leave you again!

by Anonymousreply 1411/07/2013

Not closeted here either.

by Anonymousreply 1511/07/2013

I'm 71 years old and infirm. Getting out isn't easy for me because I don't trust myself driving at night anymore.

To quote Frank Sinatra: "I lived a life that's full" and now I'm doing it my way.

DL is just one of many sites I frequent for social interaction and humor several times a week. I am alone but not lonely. I am financially secure with no debt and I am content.

by Anonymousreply 1611/07/2013

[quote]It's like going out for a beer every night with a random bunch of queens without the boredom of actually having to stay all night.

Yep. I love the pointless bitchery and the lively discussions. Other sites seem lame in comparison.

by Anonymousreply 1711/07/2013

R16 this is what i love about this place,it has such a variety of all ages,and even some lesbians here.

i love hanging with my gay bretheren!

hope you are doing well old timer,if i am lucky i will end up just like you in 50 years,cheers

p.s. do you garden?

by Anonymousreply 1811/07/2013

It can become depressing, OP. This is a site where people sharpen their claws, say things they'd never have the courage to say in real life.

But if you want The Boys In The Band for friends then Happy Birthday, Connie Casserole.

by Anonymousreply 1911/07/2013

I use DL as an intellectual stimulant. It's fun to read but I wouldn't hang out in real life with people who communicated as harshly with each other as we do here.

by Anonymousreply 2011/07/2013

Interesting thread.

It would be great if we had the ability to edit our posts so that the OP could add a poll. Oh well, maybe next time.

by Anonymousreply 2111/09/2013

I rely on DL for the latest and most up to date Ferret news.

by Anonymousreply 2211/09/2013

Who else learned about Lou Reed's death here?

by Anonymousreply 2311/09/2013

I did, R23.

by Anonymousreply 2411/09/2013

Me too, R23.

by Anonymousreply 2511/09/2013

yep, R23

by Anonymousreply 2611/09/2013

This is explains why so many of you get so worked about hating Facebook. You don't have any friends.

by Anonymousreply 2711/09/2013

Then go back there, R27 -- you have no power here.

by Anonymousreply 2811/09/2013
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