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To what extent do your co-workers and acquaintances inquire about your "gay sex life"?

An accountant at work asked me if I was "the bottom". She's open and liberal and therefore thinks she has immunity from being called out for bad manners.

To my discredit, I walked away without confronting her about her rudeness.

by Anonymousreply 3011/03/2013

I'll never understand the audacity of otherwise polite people; when they finally *know* that I'm gay, they ask the most pointed, sexual questions.

by Anonymousreply 111/02/2013

I'm tempted to turn around and ask, 'well, has your husband ever fucked you up the ass? How'd it feel?'

by Anonymousreply 211/03/2013

In the nearly 20 years of my professional career, all of it as an openly gay man, I have not *once* been asked such a rude question by a co-worker. It may be because I'm a "type A" and, even early in my career, I had a tendency to intimidate people. Now I'm a division head overseeing a staff of 150, and anyone who knows me know I'd fire a fucker on the spot for asking me that kind of fucking bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 311/03/2013

When is it appropriate to tell someone whether you're a bottom or top? Only when talking to people you are or intend to have sex with?

As far as being asked, I wouldn't answer it unless it was from a close friend, someone I saw regularly outside of work.

by Anonymousreply 411/03/2013

I think that question almost equates to "so are you the man or the woman in the relationship"? It's insulting and none of their business.

Being a top doesn't mean you're dominant in the same sense that being the male in a heterosexual relationship sure as hell doesn't mean you run the house.

Plus, many couples are versatile - that answer will probably get a big question mark face.

Very rude question.

by Anonymousreply 511/03/2013

Whenever I am asked a personal question by someone who has no right to do so I smile slightly then say "oh, that's a bit personal".

by Anonymousreply 611/03/2013

ThEh all want nasty pictures and lurid tales

by Anonymousreply 711/03/2013

I resent it when they start sharing with me illegal things they've done because as a gay I must be tolerant of all sorts of heinous behavior.

by Anonymousreply 811/03/2013

I am constantly asked, "how big was the biggest penis to penetrate your rectum?" I always make up some phenomenal numbers and watch their mouths gape wide open. I guess they expect me to be embarrassed, but I then show them the ones I was allowed to record on my cell phone.

Of course none of it is real, I just like to see these fools come unglued. I'm really quite a prude privately, but I live vicariously with all their interest and my lies.

I can't fart around these guys without getting applause.

by Anonymousreply 911/03/2013

R8, that reminds me of Stephen King's book Needful Things. A gay teacher and a pedophile teacher are friends supposedly because they have something in common. How stupid and offensive, boy did King used to be a ignorant creep. He got better after his daughter came out, but I should remember to hate him more for stuff like that. Both characters were absent from the movie version.

by Anonymousreply 1011/03/2013

r3 Mar-EEEEE!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1111/03/2013

None. I can't imagine it. It's like asking a coworker if he's into cross dressing or if she's ever tried anal.

Everyone at works knows I'm gay because I have a partner and they've met him and/or heard me talk about him. But what we do in bed is no more anyone's business than what straight people do in bed, which isn't all biblically sanctioned or open to the possibility of reproduction, either.

by Anonymousreply 1211/03/2013

[quote]I am constantly asked, "how big was the biggest penis to penetrate your rectum?"

Constantly? Where do you work and what do you do?

by Anonymousreply 1311/03/2013

I always get the few straight guys who think all gay guys have sex all the time. It must be nice not to have to deal with women...

uh huh...

by Anonymousreply 1411/03/2013

"To my discredit, I walked away without confronting her about her rudeness."

Thus answering in the affirmative.

by Anonymousreply 1511/03/2013

r6 when someone asks an inappropriate question I ask "Can you keep a secret?" When they say "yes" I reply "so can I."

by Anonymousreply 1611/03/2013

"Really? You don't look like a lesbian."

"But have you tried men?"

"I knew you were a lesbian because you have short nails."

"You and your girlfriend need a third?"

All from different male co-workers and in one case, a direct supervisor. People are assholes. I usually say, "You don't have a lot of sexual experience, do you?" or "Your poor wife."

by Anonymousreply 1711/03/2013

She knew damn well you're a bottom, but she figured she'd get a few laughs at your expense.

Only a lesbian friend from work has asked me if I'm a top or bottom.

by Anonymousreply 1811/03/2013

If you gain weight, the questions stop. Trust me on this.

by Anonymousreply 1911/03/2013

[quote]"so are you the man or the woman in the relationship"?

Ughhhh! I worked with someone who would ask that. My answer was "we are both men."

by Anonymousreply 2011/03/2013

If a co-worker asked me something like that, my answer would be an incredulous "What the fuck is the matter with you?"

by Anonymousreply 2111/03/2013

Cant imagine ever being asked anything like that, wtf

by Anonymousreply 2211/03/2013

Cheez, most of the time I can't the Uncle Fester of a Dominican sex tourist I work with to shut up on the details of his long, faboo life of turpitude

by Anonymousreply 2311/03/2013

Many straights have a peculiar sort of curiosity about all this. A straight co-worker of mine thinks it's perfectly okay to ask a gay subordinate what she calls her partner: wife? spouse? etc.

by Anonymousreply 2411/03/2013

Thats different r24, if she ever wants to refer to the woman's mate she wants to know the woman's preferred term. Asking is a professional way to handle it.

by Anonymousreply 2511/03/2013

You should have said, Oh, well I guess we are asking inappropriate questions of each other, but please let me go first, have you ever strapped on a dildo and fucked your husband?

by Anonymousreply 2611/03/2013

[quote]I think that question almost equates to "so are you the man or the woman in the relationship"? It's insulting and none of their business.

And for that reason, in addition to the general stupidity of people at work, I don't talk much about being gay at work. Which I suppose makes me a closet case. But I'd rather deal with the wrath of you queens worked into a lather than those imbeciles and their chatter.

by Anonymousreply 2711/03/2013

[quote] If you gain weight, the questions stop. Trust me on this.

So does the sex, hun.

by Anonymousreply 2811/03/2013

I was very loudly and publicly asked if I was "a screamer or a pillow biter" by a jock-ish colleague trying to intimidate and humiliate me. I didn't answer, just walked straight to HR and said if they didn't deal with him my lawyer would be contacting them. An hour later he made a public apology to me and never as much as looked in my direction again. His stupidity in being so boorish and obvious in trying to embarrass me worked against him career-wise too.

It's always a better plan to let HR deal with this, it means it's documented and it lets people know you won't put up with it.

by Anonymousreply 2911/03/2013

Good for you, r21

by Anonymousreply 3011/03/2013
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