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Describe your worst vacation ever

Once I had food poisoning at Disney World for four days after our first meal at Epcot's Mexican restaurant. It was a family trip. I had to share a room with my parents and my sister. I was 12, and my sister was 8. My parents fought most of the time, or else they left me alone in the room to dry heave while they went off to the attractions. And my dad snored.


by I will never go againreply 2711/08/2013

Jamaica. Hands down. I had to hand off twenty bucks to a prostitute to give to the cop who arrested me for smoking weed on the beach on my first day. Next day we were stretched out on a beach and a Jamaican guy came by saying he was "looking for some Americans" while swinging a machete. Jamaicans went out of their way to let us know they didn't care much for us. I didn't know why that was but I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

by I will never go againreply 111/02/2013

It was a down-the-shore rental, featuring our family, a set of cousins, and burnt toast with cold margarine.

by I will never go againreply 211/02/2013

I was 15 when we drove up the coast to Monterey, CA. We stopped for dinner at a Denny's and I had the fish & chips. I woke up around 3 with food poisoning. We were driving up to San Francisco that morning. I laid in the back of the van almost comatose. My parents thought they were going to have to take me to the hospital. We stopped to get gas in SF and I was so sick I sat in the doorway of the van puking what was left of my guts out next to the gas pump. My dad was yelling at me about not puking in the bathroom. Took about three days to feel better.

by I will never go againreply 311/02/2013

Jamaica scares me.

by I will never go againreply 411/02/2013

Amish country PA. My dad got food poisoning from eating sunny side up eggs at the Strasberg Hotel. It was also Christmas time and cold as fucking hell. We spent the entire week in the hotel room and discovered ants were crawling all over everything. What a sucky vacation that was. Oh and our car was almost in an accident with a horse and buggy on one of the back roads. I'm sure the Amish guy called us whatever they say that means fucking assholes.

by I will never go againreply 511/02/2013

My earliest vacation memories were of my father who was terrible reading maps, getting lost on the freeways, pulling over to get out of the car, spread the map over the hood, and curse that the road signs were wrong and confusing. As little boys, my brother and I would sit in the back seat crying because we really thought we were so lost we would never find wherever we were going, and certainly not our way home again. To make matters worse, Dad always pleaded poverty, and we lived in constant fear that the car would break down and we'd be stranded in the middle of nowhere with no money and no way to get home. Of course, he had just taken the wrong turn, and it was just a matter of turning around and getting back on the freeway, and even when the car broke down he paid for whatever fix was required and we were back on our way.

When I was 13 I finally refused to go with the family any longer on these hellish "vacations" and it so pissed off my father that he refused to take the family anywhere for several years. It was the best Summer that year; we just stayed home the week my mother took off from work and pretended to be tourists in our hometown. She took me and my little brother to a hotel that eventually became a Howard Johnson's and we snuck in and swam in the hotel pool all afternoon. I don't think it was a HoJo's then because they had a waiter come out by the pool to take drink orders. I got a pink lemonade, so my brother did too, and then Mom ordered one with "a splash of vodka" which I thought was very sophisticated. She should have known then I was a homo.

by I will never go againreply 611/03/2013

Trip to Yosemite many years ago. Was a solo trip. Was really enjoying hiking and photographic the area.

One afternoon, I was hiking along one of the rivers that is fed by one of the large waterfalls. It was early May so there was plenty of water. Hiked up to the falls, took a ton of photos and was on my way back to the parking lot. Stepped on a wet rock and slipped and fell into the river. Wasn't a soul around. Nobody saw what happened.

I got washed downstream for what seemed like forever. The water was freezing cold, I was being bashed around , into rocks . Kept hoping that my wallet wouldn't fall out of my pants so they could ID my body. Somehow managed to grab branch and pull myself out. Had lost my camera bag, my glasses.

I must have been in shock. Tried to find my way back to the trail. I remember a little girl tugging on her mother's sweater and saying "Mommy, that man's all wet."

I seriously drove around the valley I don't know how many times trying to find the way out and back to the cabin I had rented outside the park. I didn't think of even seeking medical help.

Finally got back to the cabin, got out of the wet clothes and collapsed on the bed. Woke up the next morning. Blood was everywhere. I was black and blue from head to toe.

I ended up laying low at the cabin for the day and then canceled the rest of the trip and drove back to SFO without my glasses.

by I will never go againreply 711/03/2013

[quote]As little boys, my brother and I would sit in the back seat crying because we really thought we were so lost we would never find wherever we were going, and certainly not our way home again


I've had so many bad vacations in my life (alone with my manic depressive father) it would be hard to pick the worst and I'm not in the mood for reminiscing.

by I will never go againreply 811/03/2013

Bed bugs at the St. Regis Bahia Beach. AWFUL.

by I will never go againreply 911/03/2013

When I was 5 my family drove up to Montreal. First memory of staying in a hotel. We were out at the pool and I didn't know how to swim. So I jumped right in and quickly sank to the bottom.

At 5 years old I remember thinking that I was going to die. I was down there for a while and out of now where a hand comes down and pulls me out.

The lifeguard finally noticed the lump at the bottom of the pool.

by I will never go againreply 1011/03/2013

Family trip to the Seychelles. I was sooo sick for the entire 10 days we were there. My only memory of that beautiful place was of the toilet and the chemicals they used to clean it.

by I will never go againreply 1111/03/2013

When I was 12 my mother took me to Queensland to see her brother. I knew classmates had all gone there for the theme park and I thought that maybe it was my turn to do something like that instead of being the designated skint kid at school. I think my mum had planned something like that, but her elder brother had the car and his idea of a great holiday was to visit endless show homes and the new supermarket in town to show us how wide the aisles were. I didn't say anything, but it was a thud back to reality and I felt stupid for imagining otherwise.

Years later I was in my 20s and had just landed in the UK on a working holiday when my mother had emergency surgery for ovarian cancer. Hopped back on the plane for second long haul trip in four days and back to care for her.

by I will never go againreply 1211/03/2013

That's funny, OP. I got food poisoning at Epcot too! I was 16 and had French onion soup in "France" and spent the next day on the toilet while the rest of my family went to the Magic Kingdom.

My family had bad luck with Florida. On our previous big trip there, everyone but my mom got terribly sunburned. Mine was so bad that I vomited.

On that trip, I at age 10 was going through a selfish stage. I made my dad stop at every single 7-11 we saw so I could look at comic books. He got so frustrated with me that he came up with a hand signal for me that meant, "You need to cool it right now."

by I will never go againreply 1311/03/2013

R13, was the hand signal an erect middle finger?

by I will never go againreply 1411/03/2013

My family was robbed at gunpoint in the middle of the night in our hotel room by the pool in Orlando. I had opened the door earlier that evening to check out the pool and forgot to lock it.

After the criminals left, I went to see if our car was still there. It was. 5 minutes later it was gone - along with everything else in it.

And my parents were just about to file for divorce and didn't tell me. You could cut the tension with a knife.

by I will never go againreply 1511/03/2013

I've always hated vacations. My family changed into stressed-out strangers every time we went anywhere. I could never figure out why we did things that made us so miserable.

The easiest to share was the time we visited Akron, Ohio. It was over the 4th of July. It started out with chiggers. Then I stepped on a burnt sparkler in my bare feet. Later, my deranged second cousin threatened to knife me in my sleep if I didn't shut up and go to bed. "I have knives. Nobody would know you were dead until tomorrow."

by I will never go againreply 1611/03/2013

Who on earth vacations in Akron, Ohio?

by I will never go againreply 1711/03/2013

R17, just imagine even shittier places you might live to consider visiting Akron as a vacation and you'll get the idea.

by I will never go againreply 1811/03/2013

[quote]I seriously drove around the valley I don't know how many times trying to find the way out and back to the cabin I had rented outside the park. I didn't think of even seeking medical help.

That's a really scary story, R7. How long were you in the water? Or do you have any idea?

by I will never go againreply 1911/03/2013

R7...Sorry, don't buy it. I know Yosemite well and once you go into the river in May, you don't come out alive. The water is ice cold that time of year and you would not have survived hypothermia, much less the rocks etc. Surprised you didn't tell us you went over Vernal Falls.

by I will never go againreply 2011/03/2013

My partner's family had an event in Orlando so his brother and sister and their spouses could take their kids to the Mouse. What a fucking hellhole.

It was near 100 degrees with humidity like I'd never experienced. Both of us got heatsick and spent everything after the first day back in the room.

by I will never go againreply 2111/03/2013

About 15 years ago, I went out to Boston for a few days to celebrate New Years Eve with some friends from college. We were just a year or two out of school, so I was staying with a bunch of friends who were living in an apartment, so I was crashing on their couch.

Something gave me food poisoning, not sure what, but I basically had to park my ass on the toilet and crap my guts out. Of course this was the only toilet in he apartment, which made for an inconvenient few days. New Years Eve comes, and I'm thinking I can eat again after two or three days of not keeping down food. I had one piece of pizza. We were taking the T to a bar, and I thought I was going to crap myself. I made it out just in time, ran to a gross bathroom in the T station, and barely got my drawers down before the runs came again. Awful, awful, awful.

by I will never go againreply 2211/03/2013

r20, the PCT thru hikers start coming through Yosemite as early as July and I am sure the water is just as cold then. They have to cross stream after stream with snow still on the ground and some of them get swept off their feet while attempting to cross.

by I will never go againreply 2311/03/2013

Went to Romania in the 1990s to celebrate Christmas with my mother and her new Romanian husband. The country had only emerged from Communism a short time and was painfully poor, underlit, and freezing cold. Very surreal -- like being back in the wartime 1940s.

by I will never go againreply 2411/03/2013

Went to P-Town to visit a friend. Shared a rented house with five other people, one of whom was my good friend, and his partner that I knew and had traveled with before.

For whatever reason, the partner was completely shitty to me the entire time. Downright mean at times.

It also happened to be "bear weekend", and I'm neither a bear nor into bears. We were there a week. It was beastly hot and humid. And packed. And I barely got to see my friend. And EVERYONE was getting laid all around me, and I couldn't even get any action under the dick-dock the one time I tried (bears are not into skinny nerds apparently, and well, that's okay, I'm not really into bears). If I saw a guy I liked, I was about 200 lbs too light for him.

By the end of the week, I was so ready to go home, I was willing to swim. I came home more stressed, upset, depressed than I think I've ever been before. Angry even. Worst vacation ever. Expensive, no fun, and felt completely alienated and left out. And on top of it all, I now really HATE my good friend's partner and never want to see him again EVER... which obviously is going to be a problem, because I DO want to see my friend. We live a long ways away, but we always found ways to see each other every couple of years. Well, it's been a couple of years now, and there's just no motion on getting together again.


I will never go back to p-town.

by I will never go againreply 2511/03/2013

I went to Las Vegas for the first time with my then-other half and got sick with Hepatitis during our stay there. I made matters worse by imbibing alcohol. I'm probably lucky I still have a liver.

by I will never go againreply 2611/03/2013

R23...Nope! The water is much slower and warmer in July. All the snow melt is over and everything dries up. He said it was early May. It never happened.

by I will never go againreply 2711/08/2013
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