'I didn't want to be a lesbian': Portia de Rossi on her beliefs that being gay was 'strange' in revealing interview
Portia de Rossi 'didn't want' to be a lesbian. The 40-year-old actress was very nervous about publicly coming out, something she did in 2005, because she always thought that being gay was 'strange' and also because she didn't know any famous women who were openly lesbians. 'I just didn't want to be a lesbian,' she said in a revealing interview on The Conversation With Amanda De Cadenet.
'I'd never met one for a start and I just thought they were strange and that they hated men and they were very serious and I had these ridiculous images in my head and there were no out celebrities or politicians or anybody that I could look to and go, "Oh, I could be like that".
'There was nobody that I could say, "I could date her and I want to be like her." 'I just kind of thought I don't want to live like this. I don't have to, I don't need to, I just shut down the emotional life.'
Not coming out had a very negative effect on Portia's life.
The actress battled different eating disorders while she was starring in Ally McBeal from 1998 to 2002, and she believes they were symptoms of her hiding her sexuality. She explained: 'The thing that kept me company was my eating disorder. It was like a lover, it was like somebody who never ever left me. Like a thought that would always keep me excited, interested and focused. It's adrenaline.'
|by Anonymous||reply 14||04/21/2014|
She really went through it.
Weird to have never met cool lesbians.
I grew up living next door to cool lesbians in London in the '70s...so I knew where it was at.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||04/19/2014|
she sounds not too there...she doesn't say she's a lesbian because she's attracted to women but that she didn't want to be one because she thought lesbians are strange. Weird.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||04/19/2014|
What a crock of shit. Everyone knew she was a lesbian when she was on Ally McBeal. And the "eating disorder" on the show was shared by all the women. It was like a contest.
Don't blame your lesbianism on that.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||04/19/2014|
Given our culture, who "wants" to be lesbian or gay until the dam finally breaks and you get it.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||04/19/2014|
[quote]'There was nobody that I could say, "I could date her and I want to be like her."
Very interesting given the fact that Ellen came out in 1997, eight years before Portia. They didn't know each other then, I guess. Portia didn't identify with Ellen at all.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||04/19/2014|
Didn't Portia only lipstick lesbians before Ellen?
|by Anonymous||reply 7||04/19/2014|
Yes she did as far as we know.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||04/19/2014|
This isn't new information. She goes into much greater detail in her book.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||04/19/2014|
i never got why women become anorexic. how can you not eat???
|by Anonymous||reply 10||04/19/2014|
R11, your stomach stops sending signals after awhile and there is kind of a buzz.
You do behave more aggressively, you do lose your temper more frequently, and you do choose your friends based on weight.
And for the rest of your life, you calculate everything that goes into your mouth.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||04/19/2014|
R11, I was anorexic when I was in my late teens. I started out kind of chubby. I dieted like a normal person, and noticed that I got more and more positive attention for my weight loss. It just became more and more extreme. After a period of time, I was living on diet coke, apples, and snack well crackers. I would never consume more than 500 calories a day. When people told me that I was too thin, and looked sick, I thought that they were jealous. 20 years later, I still have some issues, even though I am a normal weight. If I gained 5 pounds I would hate myself, which isn't normal. I will never be normal.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||04/21/2014|