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Oh god, I'm high and it's 10:53 in the morning.

I've smoked pot less than a dozen times in my life, and I'm 58. I just found half a fat joint (do they still call them phatties?) an old friend had left behind after his visit. On a whim, I smoked about half of it.

I have client work to do. I have to feed the neighbor's cat. I have a massage appointment in three hours. I have to buy a wedding card for friends getting married tonight at 7. I have to bring beer to the wedding reception.

Good lord, I'm going to have to drive in a couple of hours.

This was so dumb of me to do. My head is spinning and I have this goofy grin on my face.

Poor cat next door...

by Anonymousreply 5010/19/2013

I go into a paranoid mindset when smoking pot - haven't done it in YEARS.

Don't worry too much OP, it should wear off soon enough. Eat something and take a little nap.

by Anonymousreply 110/18/2013

I've never cared for Pot myself either OP. I agree with R1, go rinse rigorously with mouthwash, eat a little something and nap for an hour or so, You should be fine.

by Anonymousreply 210/18/2013

You need to prioritize. Go next door and feed the cat. You can get the card and beer on the way to the wedding, take a pen with you. Cancel the massage as soon as you've fed the cat. You mention no work deadline so put it off til tomorrow. By my reckoning you now how all fucking day at your disposal so you might as well bloody enjoy it.

by Anonymousreply 310/18/2013

Atta girl!

by Anonymousreply 410/18/2013

I’m sorry, a wedding card? WTF is that?

And you have to bring beer to the reception? Is the reception in a VFW rented hall?

by Anonymousreply 510/18/2013

If you want to kill or reduce the high just eat. Go get a few donuts and destroy them.

by Anonymousreply 610/18/2013

[quote] and I'm 58

That's where I stopped reading.

by Anonymousreply 710/18/2013

No, honey, you just look 58.

Hi Lindsey!

by Anonymousreply 810/18/2013

On the upside, The Crazy Ones is actually kind of humorous when you're high.

[quote]I’m sorry, a wedding card? WTF is that? And you have to bring beer to the reception? Is the reception in a VFW rented hall?

A wedding card is a card that says, "Congratulations on your wedding." The couple is young, poor, and doing this on their own. It's at my best friend's home (he's the officiant), and the reception is a potluck around the pool.

THAT's when I should be high, not now!

by Anonymousreply 910/18/2013


They're lesbians, right?

by Anonymousreply 1010/18/2013

Is there a baked potato bar?

by Anonymousreply 1110/18/2013

If you have things to do and aren't a regular smoker you really thought it be a good idea to get high in the morning? Should have taken that half a joint and save it for tonight, or for sometime during the weekend.

by Anonymousreply 1210/18/2013

[quote]Potluck? They're lesbians, right?

Straight couple, actually. Lovely kids.

[quote]Is there a baked potato bar?

WAY too much trouble for this crowd.

by Anonymousreply 1310/18/2013

[quote]If you have things to do and aren't a regular smoker you really thought it be a good idea to get high in the morning?

I clearly said I did it "on a whim." That's rather different than "thought it [would] be a good idea."

[quote]Should have taken that half a joint and save it for tonight, or for sometime during the weekend.

I believe that's precisely what I said at R9. Even high, I apparently have better reading comprehension than you do.

by Anonymousreply 1410/18/2013

I'm jealous! Enjoy it, OP. You puffed on a whim and now you get to ride the green wave for a while. Pot is best when you've not smoked in a while - fate has given you a High Day so roll with it. Feed the cat, take the advice above and clear your afternoon, and veg out with some music or a movie. What's done is done - being paranoid is going to snowball. You'll come down in time for the wedding and probably have a nice pleasant after-buzz to round out a lovely wedding.

So go play with the cat, have some snacks, and listen to something epic. You're in for a great afternoon.

by Anonymousreply 1510/18/2013

[quote]Ugh. Of all the drugs users out there, potheads are the worst.

Twelve times in 58 years makes me a pothead? Good to know. What's the official cut-off, ten?

[quote]Go do something useful with your life!

Something useful like running a successful publishing company, and starting a national charity, and mentoring high school kids, perhaps?

by Anonymousreply 1710/18/2013

I always save my pot-smoking for when I'm going to be in for the night. Or sometimes before my nightly walk around the neighborhood.

by Anonymousreply 1810/18/2013

You might want to fall into a Wikipedia hole while you're online. Those are always fun baked.

What does your company publish, R17?

by Anonymousreply 1910/18/2013

[quote]You might want to fall into a Wikipedia hole while you're online. Those are always fun baked.

So is Reddit! And Reddit with an old Jean Arthur movie on TCM, starting in one minute!

[quote]What does your company publish, R17?

A very odd variety of things. Children's books, essay collections, two epic fantasies, some excellent poetry, and coming for Halloween, a sly little book that will set the vampire mythos on its ear.

by Anonymousreply 2010/18/2013

OP, the client work is the only thing I wouldn't recommend doing while high. Can you put it off 'til the weekend or Monday? I'm sure you can manage to feed a cat and get a massage while stoned, and you'll have sobered up by the time you need to drive to the wedding, stopping for card and beer en route.

by Anonymousreply 2110/18/2013


Babe, I haven't been sober since 2006. Life was not meant to be lived with an accurate perspective.

by Anonymousreply 2210/18/2013

OP, I have a short story collection that is very unique. Recent MFA grad. Over half of the stories have already been published in various literary magazines.

Enjoy your afternoon!

by Anonymousreply 2310/18/2013

You were lucid enough to compose a post on DL. You'll be fine in a couple hours. Eat, drink some water or juice, and a cup of coffee if you drink it.

by Anonymousreply 2410/18/2013

What R2 said you big drama queen.


by Anonymousreply 2510/18/2013

I get stoned before work most days. I'm a creative and I take public transit.

by Anonymousreply 2610/18/2013

[quote] Pot is best when you've not smoked in a while

True, but I just don't have the self-control. I've been a wake-n-baker for months, and I'm running out, but still can't slow down. Getting high for the second time today right now. Having this high resistance though, I'm not too light-headed to do what I'd normally do sober, I'm just having more fun doing it.

by Anonymousreply 2710/18/2013

I love that OP is kinda bitchy even though he started this thread to demonstrate that he did something a bit stupid. *heart smilie*

by Anonymousreply 2810/18/2013


by Anonymousreply 2910/18/2013

I had a couple sherm sticks with my coffee this morning.

by Anonymousreply 3010/18/2013

I know a lot of people who smoke because it helps them "deal" with the outside world, I'm just the opposite it makes me very paranoid, and tired.

by Anonymousreply 3110/18/2013

me too! I never got that mellow feeling, I was always suddenly shy and worried about what others were thinking, something that NEVER happens to me if I'm not stoned.

by Anonymousreply 3210/18/2013

R16 needs to fuck off. Right, potheads are the "worst" drug users. What a moron.

OP, you're completely fine now, right? I'm a regular smoker but I don't wake and bake too often. I'd be useless, I think. Depending on how stoned I got. Anyway, you're gonna have a wonderful evening now, and you'll actually be glad you smoked that fattie.

by Anonymousreply 3310/18/2013

R23, you have an MFA?! HA HA HA! Oh my god that is so cute. Me too - and I have three collections of short stories! Isn't it awesome about how no one gives a shit and our degrees have been completely devalued?

by Anonymousreply 3410/18/2013

Eat food and drink tea, you'll come down.

by Anonymousreply 3510/18/2013

If it's that strong, it must be medical pot?

by Anonymousreply 3610/18/2013

This must be an Exceptionally Stressful Time for you OP.

In other words, this is a barrel full of shit, since no stoned OP would respond to so many posts here.

2/10 solely on effort, but minus many points for stealing from other famous DL EST's.

by Anonymousreply 3710/18/2013

OP here. Fed the cat, went to my massage, and am now sitting by the pool, having accomplished absolutely nothing of value today. Mellow and pleasant and just what I needed.

As for R38 thinking it odd that I would write so much while under the influence, pot tends to make me more verbose than I already am.

Besides, this seems like an exceptionally un-elaborate scenario. In fact, it's so painfully mundane and that if I hadn't been stoned, I can't see that I'd have had any reason to write it in the first place.

by Anonymousreply 3810/18/2013

I love OP. It took him 6 min. to write a perfectly lovely opening post about an exceptional, yet "mundane" day. (Smoked dope for the first time in years and going to a wedding!)

Anyway, it's one Friday, one occasion. Why not enjoy your nice day? You probably didn't "celebrate" Columbus Day on Monday. Why not have a nice holiday today, instead? Most important thing: Kitty got fed, so you're a decent person.

by Anonymousreply 3910/18/2013

[quote]Ugh. Of all the drugs users out there, potheads are the worst. Go do something useful with your life!

I'm going to guess you've never met a cokehead, or a meth or heroin addict.

Yes, there are certainly tiresome, militant potsmokers out there, if that's what you are complaining about. But I think people who are single-issue about anything are tiresome.

by Anonymousreply 4010/18/2013

[quote]Of all the drugs users out there, potheads are the worst.

I would vote for drunks being the worst—if only for the fact that they're so fucking numerous. Every single family get-together we have is just one more reason for everyone to get as shit-faced as they possibly can. Then they bicker and argue and fight and cry. Then everybody gets in their cars and drives home! Last Christmas we all waved goodbye as my cousins drove away—driving the wrong way on a one-way street. I am truly amazed that no one has been killed yet.

by Anonymousreply 4110/18/2013

Potheads are the BEST.

Drunks are THE WORST, period.

by Anonymousreply 4210/18/2013

I've been a drink and a pothead - as a pothead I never beat anyone up or woke up in my car in my driveway in the morning, or worse. At best I gained twenty pounds as a pothead and told a lot of dumb stories about cartoons.

by Anonymousreply 4310/19/2013

PS - to whoever said that potheads were worse: bitch, I was a bad, bad, bad meth addict for a few years and if I'm a pothead until I die I won't be able to cause a fraction of the hellish havoc I did on meth.

by Anonymousreply 4510/19/2013

R16 is obviously a raging coke fiend.

by Anonymousreply 4610/19/2013

Whomever said potheads were the worst, is an idiot. Damn, if you don't know anything, keep your stupid mouth shut.

by Anonymousreply 4710/19/2013

Smoke the rest of it, Mary. NOW.

by Anonymousreply 4810/19/2013

Glad you got the massage OP. My favorite thing to do when high in the middle of the day (which I rarely do).

by Anonymousreply 4910/19/2013
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