Let's Pretend We're a Steven Spielberg Film!
|by Anonymous||reply 82||10/19/2013|
[all posts by racist flame bait troll removed, ISP notified with full text of all posts.]
|by Anonymous||reply 1||10/17/2013|
I'm the plot hole, I am huge
|by Anonymous||reply 2||10/17/2013|
I'm the pristine cinematography. Young viewers will be impressed by this.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||10/17/2013|
I'm the child who will never die no matter how much peril I face because the director is too big of a pussy to kill me.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||10/17/2013|
I'm the camera slowly tracking in while the actors are staring in fear,wonder or amazement.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||10/17/2013|
I'm the crap music by John Williams.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||10/17/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 7||10/17/2013|
It's just bombastic shit. I like it on MacGyver, but not on a feature film
|by Anonymous||reply 8||10/17/2013|
[quote]I'm the child who will never die no matter how much peril I face because the director is too big of a pussy to kill me.
He sure killed me.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||10/17/2013|
I am the massive product tie-in.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||10/17/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 11||10/17/2013|
I heart R6
|by Anonymous||reply 12||10/17/2013|
I'm the fetishized innocence of children.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||10/17/2013|
I'm the MESSAGE. I'll be hitting you over the head for the next two hours.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||10/17/2013|
I tell you, Catch Me If You Can acted as therapy. And it's his only true good film.
Also, River Phoenix was raised in a cult. Make of that what you will.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||10/17/2013|
I am the inevitable Oscar nominations in the technical categories.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||10/17/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 17||10/17/2013|
A am the merchandising deals that will bring in a billion-dollars in retail sales.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||10/17/2013|
I am the overweening piety.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||10/17/2013|
I'm Shug Avery and you sho' is ugly, hahaaa!!
|by Anonymous||reply 20||10/17/2013|
I'm the minority characters. We're sprinkled throughout the film in a way that feels forced because boss man wants to feel enlightened, but we'll never be the star.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||10/17/2013|
I'm chilled monkey brains!
|by Anonymous||reply 22||10/17/2013|
I'm the terrible actress who hopes to be the next Mrs. Spielberg.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||10/17/2013|
I'm the needless, last scene full of schmaltz.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||10/17/2013|
I am the angry but ultimately life affirming fuck the pain away scene in Munich.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||10/17/2013|
I'm "1941", a movie that shall live in infamy.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||10/17/2013|
I'm the "sense of childhood wonder" that audiences never fail to gush over. Tired and annoying as I am, you idiots just can't get enough of me.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||10/17/2013|
I'm Kathleen Kennedy, and few people know that S.S. is a wooden marionette that I use to front for my films.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||10/17/2013|
I'm the father issues. I always pop up in his films somewhere.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||10/17/2013|
I'm Harrison Ford's smirk.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||10/17/2013|
We're the cartoon Nazi bogeymen that inhabit the nightmares of Jew movie moguls.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||10/17/2013|
I'm the fucking gigantic moon.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||10/17/2013|
And I'm the 3-dimensional real life Nazi monster that lost the Oscar to Tommy Lee Jones playing a cardboard federal agent in an unremarkable mainstream thriller.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||10/17/2013|
I'm the gratuitous CGI added 20-odd years later.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||10/17/2013|
We're the obsession with boys-own adventure yarns that he still hasn't outgrown.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||10/17/2013|
I'm the schlubby baseball cap and jeans that became the new dress code for directors after him.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||10/17/2013|
I'm the third Chinese dancer from the right in the "Anything Goes!" opening number.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||10/17/2013|
I am the hypersensitiveness to Jew/Nazi jokes that Spielberg shares with R41 that got Megan Fox booted from the Transformers franchise.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||10/17/2013|
We're the annoying precocious kids.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||10/17/2013|
I'm the uncanny knack for making gargantuan amounts of money.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||10/17/2013|
R48 Hitler didn't really care about Christianity. (nor do I)
|by Anonymous||reply 41||10/17/2013|
I'm the hundreds of millions of dollars this film is guaranteed to make.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||10/17/2013|
I'm the crappy old Plymouth Valiant that couldn't outrun a Goddamn tanker truck and couldn't make it up a measly hill without breaking down.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||10/17/2013|
Can we please have a "Lets pretend We're a Martin Scorsese Film" thread? That will epic.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||10/17/2013|
I'm the lack of grit and subtle emotional depth.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||10/17/2013|
On the contrary, R52, Hitler was a devout Catholic who gave the Vatican the most regular income it had ever had.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||10/17/2013|
I'm the ending. I don't know when to show up.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||10/17/2013|
R58 He wasn't particularly, religion was just one of the many tools he tried to use in his quest for power.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||10/17/2013|
I'm the underage white boy that is the protagonist of nearly my entire film oeuvre.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||10/17/2013|
I'm the rehearsed spontaneity in his Oscar acceptance speech. My date to the gala is the smug-yet-humble facial expression he's been working on for forty years.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||10/17/2013|
Hi! WE're triplets!
|by Anonymous||reply 51||10/17/2013|
Keep telling yourself that R60.
Close your eyes to the real world.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||10/17/2013|
I'm not a religious person anyway so I couldn't care less about your assumption that I'm a God-bothering red state dweller.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||10/17/2013|
I'm the mother losing control over her house in face of some invaders.
You saw me in Close Encounter of the Third Kind, ET and Empire of the Sun.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||10/17/2013|
I'm "Yi wang si-i wa ye kan duo Xin li bian yao la jing bao jin tian zhi Dao..."
|by Anonymous||reply 55||10/17/2013|
I'm Joan Crawford. Wondering if this litle gay boy with the rough trade boyfriend will make me look like a fool, in one of my final celluloid appearances.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||10/17/2013|
I'm Daniel Day Lewis, the epitome of a ham actor.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||10/17/2013|
I'm Drew Barrymore, it got so annoying when he'd pull me on his lap and try to touch my no-no. No wonder I took to the bottle at 10.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||10/17/2013|
I'm Dennis Weaver, helping this little punk make a name for himself on TV.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||10/17/2013|
R12, I too love R6.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||10/17/2013|
I'm the Oscars he should have won for "ET, Saving Private Ryan, and Lincoln".
Instead you'll find me on some shelf in England, on that fat fuck Harvey Weisnten's office, and being used by Ben Affleck as a dildo.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||10/17/2013|
Hon-bun, aka R74, Steve won an Oscar for SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. It didn't win Best Picture and I hear he was a pissy little bitch in the press room after that ceremony. Or he wouldn't even go into the press room that night. Something to that effect. Whatevskies. He should have picked up his graying labia and gotten in that press room. Nobody likes sour grapes, Steve.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||10/17/2013|
sorry R75, I meant SPR winning for best picture (so he could have a set)...
|by Anonymous||reply 63||10/17/2013|
I am the kid in the DreamWorks logo fishing from the moon.
I am just as pretentious as the movie that follows my appearance.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||10/17/2013|
[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]
|by Anonymous||reply 65||10/17/2013|
I'm the easy choices and lack of risks.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||10/17/2013|
Not funny, R70.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||10/17/2013|
I'm the overwhelming dripping sentimentality and a muse of mine is Norman Rockwell.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||10/17/2013|
Like R27, I, too, am "1941." I was directed by America's "National Treasure."
|by Anonymous||reply 69||10/19/2013|