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Alice Munro's official statement regarding her Nobel prize

Telfone ring tooday and man tell very excite thing. Man voice tell me win big Nobbel Prise! Tell, “Alice Munro win Nobbel Prise!” Cant believe! Always want win Nobbel Prise and now win Nobbel Prise like always want! So thunk u Nobbel Kabitty for big shine prise. Make me so happie and excite.

Me so happie now that me got good best prise.

Nobbel Prise such good prise and me wurk so hard to get. Me write long time and always write long and big. Write lot of words and make storys with and make books with storys. Me write for hunnerd years and make hunnerd books like Dance Of Happie Shades, Moons A Juper, and Hayship, Frennip, Corp, Love Lip, Marge. Write storys books lot hard work and make me sleep lot, but now win Nobbel Prise and very happie. Nobbel Kitty man say me “master of cuntempry short story!"

Nobbel Prise such good. Is best most good most shine prise for littersure. Other real good peepul win Nobbel Prise and now me win with them. Peepul like Samull Beckt Tony Morris and Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clézio. Me no like read but these peepul good write cuz they win Nobbel Prise and that is best prise and now me win cuz me master of cuntempry short story.

Alice Munro master of cuntempry short story.

Me win lots wards befour but never Nobbel Prise. Win Pen Malmood Ward win Man Book Innerational Prise win Oh Henry prise win lots of prises. Lots good wards and prises me won but me also no win prises and make sad but now me have Nobbel Prise and me hold onto it tight and not lose it in swim pool like Man Book Innerational Prise.

Nobbel Prise best prise. Biggest prise and most best prise. Not as good as Super Bowl prise but best prise for littersure. Most shine. Most twinkly prise. Make sparkle. Make pretty. Twinkle good. sparkle gud.

Me very happie win prise and very excite but me hungry now so go get pan cake and then sleep but thunk u again Nobbel Kublitty for Nobbel Prise. It best, most biggest, most shine prise. It is honor.

by Anonymousreply 1710/14/2013

What the shit? When the Onion gets it wrong, they REALLY get it wrong.

by Anonymousreply 110/12/2013

Zut alors. That's actually kind of funny, although my recollection from Munro's writing is that she's not at all French and is totally literate in the English language, although she is marginally boring. Many of the stories seem the same to me.

by Anonymousreply 210/12/2013

That's actually hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 310/14/2013

Not as funny as they think it is. Is the Onion the same blog that said the uncalled for things about the little girl in "Beasts Of The Southern Wild"?

by Anonymousreply 410/14/2013

It's a parody of the American Psycho guy putting her down. They must've thought he made her sound like an illiterate idiot, so they're parodying that. It's my best guess anyway.

by Anonymousreply 510/14/2013

Where I think it goes amiss is that, because she is in her 80s, many people who have not seen her interviewed, may assume she is probably decrepit and probably headed for dementia (like her heroine in "The Bear Came Over the Mountain")--and she is far from that. It's also just not particularly clever on its own terms.

by Anonymousreply 610/14/2013

Wow, she sounds like an idiot. I'm not sure I want to read her books now. Maybe she was joking?

by Anonymousreply 710/14/2013

R7. What a clod you are. It's the Onion's joke, no one else's, and it scarcely succeeds on any level. Next...

by Anonymousreply 810/14/2013

Guys?

She won the Nobel Prize for literature.

So they wrote an ILLITERATE thank-you column.

It's completely not about her as a person or writer and is just (gasp) funny.

I laughed my ass off.

by Anonymousreply 910/14/2013

Yes, the joke is that she does not sound or write like that at all.

by Anonymousreply 1010/14/2013

She should be ASHAMED that she basically stole this award from a small child.

by Anonymousreply 1110/14/2013

This isn't funny at all. Munro's win warmed my heart. Very few writers are as deserving of the award as she is. And she's a lovely person to boot.

by Anonymousreply 1210/14/2013

Even if her output is not scintillating? Did she really deserve a Nobel? Hmm...

by Anonymousreply 1310/14/2013

[quote]Yes, the joke is that she does not sound or write like that at all.

Who does?!

by Anonymousreply 1410/14/2013

Yet when an author does write a character who speaks that very way (Little Bee) its praised. I think The Onion has it right.

by Anonymousreply 1510/14/2013

Sounds like a Jodie Foster movie sequel.

by Anonymousreply 1610/14/2013

A waste of letters.

by Anonymousreply 1710/14/2013
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