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Can you put on weight rectally?

me and my other half did a bit of improvising a while back when having sex and used some vegetable oil

Been using this occasionally and I've grown to really like the feeling of it as its not as good as lube.He doesnt slide in and out of me as easy, but I really like the intenser feeling it gives

But was wondering and I will risk asking it as theres no one else I can really ask about this, but does the body absorp the fat from the oil, if you put it where the sun don't shine?

Im not at risk of piling weight on,if I use oil now as lube, internally?

by Anonymousreply 7710/22/2013

What a Fucking Idiot!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 110/06/2013

OP=troll or too stupid to breathe

by Anonymousreply 210/06/2013

Just switch to olive oil and everything will be fine.

by Anonymousreply 410/06/2013

We call that "Wessanality."

by Anonymousreply 510/06/2013

I hope you're REALLY pretty.

by Anonymousreply 610/06/2013

LOL R5.

by Anonymousreply 710/06/2013

OP are you Shirley Jones?

by Anonymousreply 810/06/2013

From all the old commercials I recall about this, you only actually absorb 1 teaspoon. So, unless you're "cooking" all night, I wouldn't worry. Your main concern should be about smelling like a french fry. That could make your top wonder off to McDonalds.

by Anonymousreply 910/06/2013

Perhaps you could try studying that way as well. Have your partner shove a nutrition textbook up your ass.

by Anonymousreply 1010/06/2013

Girl, back in the day we all used Crisco and didn't gain an ounce.

by Anonymousreply 1110/06/2013

R11 = Loretta Lynn

by Anonymousreply 1210/06/2013

Your "other half"? What are you, a surgically separated conjoined twin?

by Anonymousreply 1310/06/2013

OP, you really don't understand biology, do you? You're obviously not going to gain weight by using vegetable oil lube. However, congratulations are in order -- you're pregnant with a vegetable oil baby!

by Anonymousreply 1410/06/2013

I wonder what would happen if I dipped a battered Mars Bar down there?

by Anonymousreply 1510/06/2013

The BEST thread! Love you, R6! In school I used butter. Easier to have around, where KY would've raised questions. After a few complaints, learned the salted kind hurt, so I kept to unsalted.

by Anonymousreply 1610/06/2013

If your oil is low cal and you do lots of Kegel exercises, you should be fine.

by Anonymousreply 1710/06/2013

Somehow I picture OP and his conjoined twin coming up with a new use for that margarine fountain they bought last year.

by Anonymousreply 1810/06/2013

When you run out of veg. oil, try some margarine or cooking spray & let us know what happens....maybe you'll crap out some muffins

by Anonymousreply 1910/06/2013

Not only is your ass gonna get fat, OP, but with time, carrots, turnips and celery will start growing back there..

by Anonymousreply 2010/06/2013

I predict there will be NUMEROUS W&W on this thread. I'm already crying as I type, in a good way.

by Anonymousreply 2110/06/2013

"...does the body absorp the fat from the oil, if you put it where the sun don't shine?

No, but the 'vegetable' content has clearly invaded your brain cells.

by Anonymousreply 2210/06/2013

Honey, just use Olestra and don't forget to poop before you go to bed.

by Anonymousreply 2310/06/2013

Actually, it will not be absorbed, which is a good thing -- and if you do this often, you'll have enough oil stored up there that your other half will be able to dip his peen into some batter, fuck you, and if he does it fast enough to build up heat through friction, he'll pull out some cock tempura....

by Anonymousreply 2410/06/2013

You should have asked this on Yahoo Answers.

by Anonymousreply 2510/06/2013

What's that smell? Are we becoming ingredients in a fucking salad or what?

by Anonymousreply 2610/06/2013

I once had a trick over and the only thing I had in the house was some lard in the kitchen (I'm Mexican).

"Oh, No!" said the trick. "Don't go using no lard in me! I'm a Vegan!"

by Anonymousreply 2710/06/2013

Don't forget, we now offer a convenient spray attachment, developed with our friends at WD40!

by Anonymousreply 2810/06/2013

I can't wait to hear how this goes!

by Anonymousreply 2910/06/2013

OP uses Astroglide as a salad dressing.

by Anonymousreply 3010/06/2013

[quote]I can't wait to hear how this goes!

You probably won't be able to hear it, but I'm pretty sure you'll smell it.

by Anonymousreply 3110/06/2013

Vegetable oil? I can't believe it's up the butter!

by Anonymousreply 3210/06/2013

This is how hydrogenated fats are manufactured, OP. Keep your mouth clear of your boyfriend's cock or you will die of atherosclerosis.

by Anonymousreply 3310/06/2013

"He doesnt slide in and out of me as easy..."

That's true now. But you should keep an eye on your boyfriend's dick length if you're foolish enough to use 'shortening'.

by Anonymousreply 3410/06/2013

Just for you OP, since I do think you were being earnest, at least one reader of your post didn't have the urge to post something mean. It was kind of funny tho, you have to admit.

by Anonymousreply 3510/06/2013

OP, "toss my salad" isn't meant to be taken literally.

by Anonymousreply 3610/06/2013

Oil is unsafe as lube. everyone knows that. Condoms only work with water based lubes.

by Anonymousreply 3710/06/2013

Pop some eggs, flour and grated carrots up there too, honey, and you can make a cake - in you own little oven.

by Anonymousreply 3810/06/2013

Does my ass look fat with your dick in my anus?

by Anonymousreply 3910/06/2013

Which celebs have gained weight rectally?

by Anonymousreply 4010/06/2013

You use oil as lube? Just how rich are you?

by Anonymousreply 4110/06/2013

You can only put on as much weight as the food itself weighs. This is scientific fact. So a teaspoon of vegetable oil or a whole chocolate mousse are inconsequential, orally or rectally. If it ain't heavy, you are safe. Butter is better and creme brulee is ideal. Torch it first.

Don't put a turnip puree up there. It will make you gain 8 pounds. Turnips are heavy. See how it works? Science is hard.

I used to stick Popsicles up Pete and he had anal orgasms and I got a sweet sticky dick. Calorie free.

by Anonymousreply 4210/06/2013

OP, try mentos and diet coke and get back to us.

by Anonymousreply 4310/06/2013

Cooking oil is not meant to be inserted into your body. You're probably gonna get all kinds of problems. Just buy lube, or baby oils. Vaseline is ok....V-E oil is good

by Anonymousreply 4410/06/2013

If you like getting rimmed pour barbeque sause or maybe hot sause up there and let your buddy go to town. It may burn a tad but WTF?

by Anonymousreply 4510/06/2013

No, only if you apply it to your hips.

by Anonymousreply 4610/06/2013

OP, please present your anus for first consideration in our exciting new 'Cornhole' campaign.

by Anonymousreply 4710/06/2013

If you get a pastry bag and tip, you can have creme brulee or chocolate mousse for dessert. Of course, chocolate mousse might be the last thing you'd want to pump UP your ass.

by Anonymousreply 4810/06/2013

Jesus, you dizzy queens are too much...

by Anonymousreply 4910/06/2013

R37, did the OP mention condoms?

by Anonymousreply 5010/06/2013

No, OP did not mention condoms. Which leaves me quite concerned about what he puts in his vegetable oil.

by Anonymousreply 5110/06/2013

Lemon juice an shallots of course! For the perfect vinigrette!

by Anonymousreply 5210/06/2013

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

by Anonymousreply 5310/07/2013

Crisco, R53.

Before that, they would've used lard, or tallow, or maybe drippings after cooking meat.

Oils have always existed, as have gay men interested in anal.

by Anonymousreply 5410/07/2013

r53 Green Goddess dressing. This was before the Ranch phenomenon.

Just lift your legs and you have a fabulous way to present a dip for your crudité!

by Anonymousreply 5510/07/2013

Back in the day, we used goose fat. Never had any complaints.

by Anonymousreply 5610/07/2013

What about mink oil?

by Anonymousreply 5710/07/2013

Another vote for Vaseline or Crisco. It increases friction and is great for the top.

by Anonymousreply 5810/07/2013

Back when I was first started going to the baths, I saw a large can on Crisco nailed to the wall just where you went into the OR. I remember thinking, "How thoughtful."

by Anonymousreply 5910/07/2013

I've grown to really like the feeling of it as its not as good as lube.He doesnt slide in and out of me as easy,

Good to hear from a bottom. I like it this way too. Used it a few times.

by Anonymousreply 6010/07/2013

I heard / read that you should never put alcohol in a guy's butt because it's absorbed much quicker and more thoroughly, so he can get alcohol poisoning from a small amount. So maybe OP is on to something. OP, your butt types fat.

by Anonymousreply 6110/07/2013

If absorption was a risk, every second Crisco fister would have been a waddler.

Oh wait...

by Anonymousreply 6210/07/2013

When re-used for cooking, rectal oil adds a distinctive tang your guests will comment on. It makes a unique fish batter.

by Anonymousreply 6310/07/2013

Ask Mrs Patmore.

by Anonymousreply 6410/07/2013

This thread is useless without croutons.

by Anonymousreply 6510/07/2013

OP, if your top is a feisty fucker you might want to use Valvoline since it keeps pistons from overheating.

by Anonymousreply 6610/07/2013

Vegans can use it without guilt.

by Anonymousreply 6710/07/2013

Thank you, R2.

Between the tea partiers and DL cretins, I grow more depressed every day.

by Anonymousreply 6810/07/2013

Just have him spray his dick with Zero calorie Pam Cooking spray, unless the idea of a man with a little "Pam" on his dick is a huge turnoff.

by Anonymousreply 6910/07/2013

"What's the matter Soph, ain't you got a cruet?"

by Anonymousreply 7010/07/2013

You sure can, lard ass.

by Anonymousreply 7110/07/2013

Oh, dear, R5.

by Anonymousreply 7210/08/2013

"He doesnt slide in and out of me as easy, but I really like the intenser feeling it gives."

Like butt-ahhh.

by Anonymousreply 7310/08/2013

r72 Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?

by Anonymousreply 7410/08/2013

PLEASE before you chastise the OP consider the long history of the "nutritive enema."

It did wonders for President Garfield as he lay paralyzed having difficulty keeping his food down.

And despite the stories of his resulting pernicious flatulence and great gobby runs, he did, in fact, retain his weight somewhat. A bit. Rather.

by Anonymousreply 7510/09/2013

OP is a dead serious Tig Notaro.

by Anonymousreply 7610/14/2013

Bumping because all the other threads are down

by Anonymousreply 7710/22/2013
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