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Dad disowns son

I know this may be old but I just came across this.

I sometimes think my life would have been easier if I received this type of letter instead of the treatment I received from my parents.

My mom didn't talk to me for a year and a half, insisted I got hormone treatments, and has talked about me in the past tense for years. When I brought my partner home for Thanksgiving she asked him why he was here and then put up her hand against the side of her face to block him from her view for the whole dinner.

My dad cut me off completely.

Would a letter like this been of help or hindrance?

by Anonymousreply 1710/06/2013


by Anonymousreply 110/05/2013

I wonder if there's a similar Bible quote to "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is, to have a thankless child"? One that underscores just how vicious a parent can be? If there is, it would definitely apply to this man. I'm loath to call him a father, because he didn't display one iota of paternal love, caring or concern. How horrible to even THINK those words, and then have the audacity to put them down on paper. You are obviously the bigger man here, OP. Would you be receptive if he ever contacted you? My heart goes out to you.

by Anonymousreply 210/05/2013

My father reacted similarly. He just didn't put it in writing. He used words like "disowned" and "burn in hell for the rest of time."

by Anonymousreply 310/05/2013

R2 - just to be clear - that letter was not my from my father. I posted it because it interested me.

I did see my father twice - and he had come around somewhat. But he was such an asshole to his new wife and to me, I decided it was doing me more harm to stay in contact with him than not.

My mother still doesn't want to hear about my personal life at all. I have a gay brother as well and she threw a fit when he and his boyfriend hugged at Christmas.

I sometimes think it would have been better with a letter in the link.

by Anonymousreply 410/05/2013

I'm sorry you had such misguided, narrow-minded and overall shitty parents, OP. Congrats on surviving them.

Just to restore our collective faith in humanity, here's the polar opposite of a shitty father. Is there a word for "crying and smiling as I type"?

by Anonymousreply 510/05/2013

It would be better as evidence. Any time we wanted proof of how much our parents hated us, there it would be in black and white.

by Anonymousreply 610/05/2013

The polar opposites of the two letters in this thread still stun me. It's 2013 and for as much as things have changed, they still haven't changed enough. Big hugs to the 'cool' parents and to those of us that didn't have such a great reaction to our 'news'.

by Anonymousreply 710/05/2013

Agreed R6 - it's easier to carry on almost. It's more formal.

Crushing to be certain, but final. As opposed to a never ending disapproval and discomfort.

by Anonymousreply 810/05/2013

aw what the heck, people are awake now...bumpitybump.

by Anonymousreply 910/05/2013

[quote]When I brought my partner home for Thanksgiving she asked him why he was here and then put up her hand against the side of her face to block him from her view for the whole dinner.

Perhaps she was not up for surprise anal.

by Anonymousreply 1010/05/2013

OP. Surround your self with people who care and love you. Forget those who don't, even if they birthed you.

You have your life to live.

by Anonymousreply 1110/05/2013

Why would parents expect a child to be "Grateful"?" They didn't ask to be born, and parents have children for selfish reasons without exception. It is unrealistic, even stupid, to expect a grateful child. The only grateful children are listless incompetent children, and they shouldn't be.

by Anonymousreply 1210/05/2013

It's a violent letter OP. You actually got the worse treatment because they are still hoping to influence and control you.

by Anonymousreply 1310/05/2013

OP, I'm sorry, I just wanted to slap the shit out of your mother when you describe her holding her hand to block the view of your BF.

I have two sons and cannot imagine treating them any differently, gay or straight. Unbelievable that parents behave this way, even now.

by Anonymousreply 1410/05/2013

You let them do this to you. I would not see them again.

by Anonymousreply 1510/05/2013

OP, why in the world did you subject yourself and - more importantly - your partner to this degradation? The insanity of your parents (Your mother's idiotic stunt deserved a pumpkin pie in the face) was evident.

Masochism is not the way to deal with homophobic family.

Also, superficial acceptance has a way of showing its insincerity where heterosexual family is concerned. I notice it remains an arrow in their quivers, along with the rest of the weaponry they tend to pull out when under stress.

My partner and I have been together for 34 years. And as recently as last year I heard a rash of horrible things about my partner as a way of getting at me. And I've never said a word about my sisters' alcoholic and lazy husbands. Parity does not exist in these people's minds. And I know they expect me to leave any estate I have to their children, "because they're the only family you'll have."

It's best to let them go, as I have. You don't drag your partner into a serpent's nest to try to prove some sort of point.

by Anonymousreply 1610/05/2013

OP, your spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with your mother, and with you boyfriend with you - sounds like she's pretty accepting to me.

by Anonymousreply 1710/06/2013
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