Trader Joe's at Bway and 72nd Thurssay around 1:00. His name is Ian and I am in love. A young, young, young man with a sweet, sensitive face. Quite thin. A little facial hair. Before I had a chance to chat him up, HE started to chat ME up. (I'm sure all his customers get this this treatment.) Since I had a fair number of groceries, I was able to ascertain that he's a college graduate, his mother makes homemade spanakopita and that he lives at 110th and Madison with his dog and, alas his girlfriend. He warm and guileless, like the boy next door in an earlier time. Here's my question. If I were the kind of guy who did that sort of thing, do you think he'd let me suck his no-doubt-beautiful dick for a couple of hundred bucks? What if I wanted to rim him, too? He must need the money; Trader Joe's can't pay that well. Please advise, in case I inherit some dough before the next time I go shopping.
I Know This Grocery Clerk
|by Anonymous||reply 61||10/05/2013|
He's barely half your size and yet he will crush you. I say go for it and then wear a disguise in TJ's if he says no.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||10/04/2013|
Dude, I am so going to bust you. I'm gonna post s photo of this guy for DL to dissect. I'm in TJs twice per week, Classic!
|by Anonymous||reply 3||10/04/2013|
That reminds me. There are a couple of hotties at the Columbus/97th St. that I have my eye on.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||10/04/2013|
Why use his name OP? He didn't ask for this attention?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||10/04/2013|
That reminds me: I saw an attractive man a while ago too. I wonder whether I could have paid him for sex. It was on Madison in the low eighties.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||10/04/2013|
Well, this is the dreamiest romantic thread I've seen in years.
In fact it's a bodice ripper.
Let us know the most intimate details of you assignation!
|by Anonymous||reply 7||10/04/2013|
You are disgusting for giving so much information on the kid. You are a sick fuck. He probably feels bad for your sorry ass.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||10/04/2013|
I second r5.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||10/04/2013|
r5. I posted his name in case any other DL-ers wanted to check him out. He's, as I said, a very affable fellow.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||10/04/2013|
yeah I think this thread should disappear. Bad enough OP is a desperado stalkerella. Much worse to give out enough detail that anyone could track him down.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||10/04/2013|
I want to know how one can chat up a grocery clerk. Because I have one I want to ask too.
How do you go from Hello stranger to can I suck your cock, in 2 minutes, all the while straight people are line behind you? Should one have a business type card made up with phone number and sly saying on it so one can slip it discreetly to grocery clerk while you are making payment (for the grocery I mean)?
|by Anonymous||reply 12||10/04/2013|
This will end up with OP behind bars...
|by Anonymous||reply 13||10/04/2013|
I have someone like that at my local Whole Foods. He works in the seafood department. He shucks my oysters and then I go eat them. Wish he were my oyster.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||10/04/2013|
OP, see what you've done. It will get even sillier and "dastardly". That guy does not deserve what you've created.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||10/04/2013|
Chill out people! There is no "Ian" at said Trader Joe's. This is Every Stalker's Tale, disturbingly lurid as it may be.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||10/04/2013|
OP, buy a dildo and some Ambien, have a nice dream!
|by Anonymous||reply 20||10/04/2013|
110th and Madison? So he's black?
|by Anonymous||reply 21||10/04/2013|
no thanks! I don't date men wearing diapers
|by Anonymous||reply 22||10/04/2013|
R15 "Internet Rape"? Now you're just making shit up.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||10/04/2013|
I understand, OP. I remember the first time I saw my boyfriend George Glass.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||10/04/2013|
[R24] ok, so I got a little overly dramatic ( 2 glasses of red), but no need to get all Henry Higgins on me
|by Anonymous||reply 27||10/04/2013|
Roger Octopus is ALL over this thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||10/04/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 30||10/05/2013|
Dot dot dots? How quaint.
It's an ellipsis, r29.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||10/05/2013|
And this is exactly why I don't talk to strangers.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||10/05/2013|
Can't you take some $2 bottles of wine and shitty chips to a bathhouse and reenact this boring scenario with some meth queen who will finish what you start?
|by Anonymous||reply 34||10/05/2013|
Mothers who make spanakopita don't name their son "Ian."
|by Anonymous||reply 36||10/05/2013|
R36, they do if it's short for Ianpopacockoulos
|by Anonymous||reply 37||10/05/2013|
Try A well-timed "Yum!", OP--I hear it works wonders.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||10/05/2013|
Wear your sexiest caftan.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||10/05/2013|
Aren't ellipsis parentheseis? I'm too lazy to look it up?
|by Anonymous||reply 40||10/05/2013|
I know this grocery clerk, unprepossessing...
|by Anonymous||reply 41||10/05/2013|
Oh, bless your heart, R29/40.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||10/05/2013|
Sure, r14. I know your type. A quick shuck and off you go and never call him again.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||10/05/2013|
[quote]...no one should be subjected to Internet rape!
Oh good God, go play on Tumblr.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||10/05/2013|
Honestly, OP's story sounds like the intro scene of a Law & Order SVU episode. In the next scene, Ian is hog-tied in a bathtub, naked and with eyes glazed like a goldfish swimming upside down.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||10/05/2013|
This is absolutely disgusting! OP you make me sick! What happened to the days when you could blow a straight boy for free?
|by Anonymous||reply 46||10/05/2013|
Oh, come on... Who hasn't ogled the cute new boy at TJ's?
|by Anonymous||reply 48||10/05/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 49||10/05/2013|
Ok i sobered up enough to look up ellipsis, you were right (bow with a flourish). You are a learned fellow.
Vous etes tres gentil...
|by Anonymous||reply 50||10/05/2013|
Don't tell me what to do...a census taker once told me what to do...
|by Anonymous||reply 51||10/05/2013|
Well, hell .. has anybody checked yet? We don't have this sort of intrigue out here in the flats with our one Safeway.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||10/05/2013|
Who are all hysterical ninnies ruining OP's silly post? Even if there *were* an Ian at Trader Joe's, what harm would come to him for being the subject of an unpopular thread on an obscure forum?
And r51 - are you posting from 1992?
|by Anonymous||reply 53||10/05/2013|
But oh boy, oh boy can this boy foxtrot.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||10/05/2013|
Internet rape! How do we suggest this to the Michfest hogs as a workshop topic for next year?
|by Anonymous||reply 55||10/05/2013|
Has no one considered that this was written by Ian himself who wants to make money getting his dick sucked, but not pay rentboy for an ad?
|by Anonymous||reply 56||10/05/2013|
"Dot...Dot, what a girl I got."
|by Anonymous||reply 57||10/05/2013|
Yes, that would be brilliant, R57. He needs a code word or phrase, though. How about these:
--Does this store carry Red Dragon cheese?
--Are frozen turkey meatballs on sale?
--Which aisle for Duke's mayonnaise?
--Is all the chicken free range or is some of it "cage meat"?
|by Anonymous||reply 58||10/05/2013|
Oops, meant to say R56 (not R57)
|by Anonymous||reply 59||10/05/2013|
Seriously OP? I would be so creeped out if I were him and knew about this thread!
Go get a life OP before you get a restraining order
|by Anonymous||reply 60||10/05/2013|
Is Roger Octopus the same as Roger Octopus Network?
|by Anonymous||reply 61||10/05/2013|