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Why You Are Gay and Alone

Just 1.5% of Britons say they are gay or bisexual

The Office for National Statistics figures, described as experimental, were produced from questions on sexual identity included in the large-scale Integrated Household Survey. Nearly 170,000 people answered questions on their sexuality.

The self-acknowledged gay population, according to the estimates, is the same as last year and slightly up on numbers produced by similar surveys in 2010.

According to the findings, 1.5 per cent of men say they are gay and 0.7 per cent of women identify themselves as lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 8101/05/2015

For gay people, it might actually be true there is just one "soul-mate" for them...

Or in my case, zero (I think my soul mate died in the AIDS scourge of the late 80s).

by Anonymousreply 110/04/2013

[quote]For gay people, it might actually be true there is just one "soul-mate" for them...

Not true. I have a feeling these same individuals would be just as alone if they were straight.

by Anonymousreply 310/04/2013

The whole "soul mate" thing is bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 410/04/2013

Well, there certainly are a lot fewer opportunities to meet someone compatible, and a far smaller pool of potentially compatible mates.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be alone if I were straight. I've had tons of nice women hit on me in my life. VERY few men. And the few that have, have been completely wrong for me... mostly hitting on me out of desperation I think (i.e. they'll hit on anyone to try and find someone to make a connection with).

On the Kinsey scale of 0-6, I go up to 11, so there's simply no consideration of me ever accepting any of the female's offers or attempts. But apparently I'm not at all what any gay guy is looking for, and I have yet to find a gay guy that is someone I feel I connect with who is also single (the few good ones seem to all be taken already).

by Anonymousreply 510/04/2013

I am gay and alone because I choose to be. I can't stand my fellow gays. Most are vain, narcissistic and I can't trust them because they've lied to me. No, seriously. The lying aspect is an issue with me. It shows shallow behavior. No, I'd rather grow old with my cats and watch reruns of Steve Wilkos show on DVR than interact with fellow gay men. It's safe that way. And I'm not out any money.

Thanks for caring.

by Anonymousreply 610/04/2013

The issue seems to be that most same-sex oriented people do not want to identify as gay or bisexual. A large percentage of same-sex oriented people make the religious, moral, or social decision to live as heterosexual. Another large chunk decides that although they may engage in secret same-sex behavior occasionally, they do not want to commit to relationships with the same sex or anything that would associate them with gay or bisexual identity. Surveys have found that a large percentage of people who engage in same-sex activity identify as heterosexual. Such people are very unlikely to seek relationships with the same sex.

by Anonymousreply 710/04/2013

Sorry, you know that 10% figure? I was really just pulling it out of my ass.

by Anonymousreply 910/04/2013

A lot of gay men are repulsed by one another, erotically and relationally speaking. It is sad but true. They want the hot straight guy or they want the mythical buff 25 year old or that other elusive-in-real-life Perfect Man. Even though they, themselves, are not at all Perfect or 25 and Buff, etc.

I recall from my years living in Boston, the town was full of intelligent, reasonably attractive, seemingly personable single gay men who claimed they were looking for a relationship, but found flaws in each of the other single gay men that came into his orbit.

by Anonymousreply 1010/04/2013

r8, do you think the gay community (using that term loosely) has a much higher statistical percentage of liars and cowards than the straight segment of the population does?

by Anonymousreply 1110/04/2013

Why is it that surveys in the UK and Western Europe consistently show that a much smaller percentage of people there identify as LGBT than in the United States? Last year, similar US surveys found that 3 to 4 percent of Americans identify as LGBT. Even Latin Americans surveys show higher LGBT identity there than in the UK and Western Europe.

by Anonymousreply 1210/04/2013

It's because we're so fucking butch, r12.

by Anonymousreply 1410/04/2013

I am not repulsed by gay men, r13, but I have to say that a lot of gay men seem to be repulsed by their fellows!

by Anonymousreply 1510/04/2013

r13, some people are consciously lying about their sexual orientation. But a huge number of same-sex people are sincere in saying they are not LGBT because they have not engaged in ongoing same-sex behavior; have chosen to live a heterosexual lifestyle; think homosexual activity is sinful or immoral; or think that they are not part of the gay community or gay stereotypes. Many are in denial, others just live heterosexual lives and deny their same-sex interest.

by Anonymousreply 1610/04/2013

And openly and unapologetically gay men are often viewed as the most repulsive of all, whereas closeted, downlow, married (to women), and bisexual men are often exalted as the most desirable M4M.

by Anonymousreply 1710/04/2013

[quote]Again, not true.

R8, you are utterly delusional. I can't believe you're claiming that isn't true, when it so obviously is.

You're saying to me that a gay man has the exact same size, or larger, pool of potential compatible mates as a straight man?

You're a fucking moron if you believe that. That is completely unsupportable, unjustifiable, and so blatantly and obviously wrong I can't imagine what even prompted you to assert such utter ridiculousness.

You're a fucking idiot. Stop posting.

by Anonymousreply 1810/04/2013

Reuters/Ipsos poll in March: When people responding to the poll were asked to describe themselves, 93 percent said heterosexual/straight; 3 percent said gay/lesbian; 3 percent said bisexual; and 2 percent said other.

by Anonymousreply 1910/04/2013

LGBT Percentage Highest in D.C., Lowest in North Dakota All states are within two percentage points of the overall national average of 3.5% by Gary J. Gates and Frank Newport

PRINCETON, NJ -- The percentage of U.S. adults who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) ranges from 1.7% in North Dakota to 5.1% in Hawaii and 10% in the District of Columbia, according to Gallup surveys conducted from June-December 2012. Residents in the District of Columbia were most likely to identify as LGBT (10%). Among states, the highest percentage was in Hawaii (5.1%) and the lowest in North Dakota (1.7%), but all states are within two percentage points of the nationwide average of 3.5%.

by Anonymousreply 2010/04/2013

R18, I agree with everything that you said. That poster is a fool.

I've often had the "statistically, the odds are against me" conversation with my friends quite a few times. It's fucking depressing.

by Anonymousreply 2110/04/2013

[quote]Gay men who complain about the dating pool in the gay community would be complaining about the dating pool if they were straight.

That's a rather bold, blanket, and unfounded statement... which also utterly fails to negate the fact that the potential dating pool for gay men is far smaller than for straight men.

by Anonymousreply 2610/04/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 3010/04/2013

Liza @ R28 is militantly pro-circ. Who knew?

by Anonymousreply 3110/04/2013

r8 is so right. Only pretty thin people have partners.

by Anonymousreply 3210/04/2013

Straight Vs. Gay Dating Scene

A straight man enters a room of 100 random women, and the winnowing process begins: 2 are lesbians, some are too old or too young, some don't appeal to him, and some that do appeal to him don't find him appealing. At least he gets to start with 98.

A gay man enters a room of 100 random men, and already 98 are out of the dating pool (although some may be in the fuck-buddy pool).

Of the 2 gay men who are left, the gay guy STILL has to be through the same elimination process that the straight guy just did. But with two people. Two.

That's why gay spaces where like-minded gays congregate are so important. But pity the rural and small-town gays. It's a numbers game, and it's brutal.

by Anonymousreply 3310/04/2013

As other point out, these polls pretty much measure the number of openly LBG people. No one can measure the number of closeted or same-sex oriented people who otherwise don't view themselves as LGB.

by Anonymousreply 3510/04/2013

[quote] Just 1.5% of Britons say they are gay or bisexual

No, NOT 1.5% of Briton didn't say that. 1.5% of the people in this survey said that. Those are two totally different things

by Anonymousreply 3610/04/2013

But it can't be denied that multiple surveys with close to identical results state a significant statistical case, r36.

by Anonymousreply 3710/04/2013

true the study measures public self-identity, which is of some utility.

by Anonymousreply 3810/04/2013

Surveys show that more people self-identity in the US LGB than in the UK and Western Europe. I think Americans are more at ease with individual identities that are not mainstream than the British and many Western Europeans. Americans are more okay being at odds with the norms, sticking out, and being part of a separate subidentity. That is the only way for me to explain the higher self-identity numbers in the U.S.

by Anonymousreply 3910/04/2013

You are possibly right, R39, even though I think that a much larger population contingent and less diversified cultural landscapes do contribute to the higher incidence of self-identified LGB people in the US.

Also, Europe isn't as friendly a place as many people like to think, and prejudice is very much prevalent against gay people. Unless you are far removed from certain stereotypes, you will be a target for insidious discrimination and hatred. Equally, many LGB people are unbelievably uncomfortable with identifying as such in the UK, where covert homophobia is very much prevalent.

by Anonymousreply 4110/04/2013

R34 is creepy.

by Anonymousreply 4210/05/2013

[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]

by Anonymousreply 4310/05/2013

These polls are a) old; or b) faked; and come with a conservative political agenda attached. No real poll has ever found gay numbers so low. Not any poll. Not in any country. Not anywhere.

by Anonymousreply 4410/05/2013

These conservatives with their fake polls piss you on tell you it's raining and you fall for it every time. What's wrong with you people? You know perfectly well from your own experience that this isn't true. Think of your gang in high school and college.

by Anonymousreply 4510/05/2013

Who cares if it's 1% or 50%, or if I'm the only gay on the planet. I'm entitled to the same human rights as anyone else.

by Anonymousreply 4610/05/2013

[quote]Who cares if it's 1% or 50%, or if I'm the only gay on the planet. I'm entitled to the same human rights as anyone else.

The UK isn't a Republic, so no, you don't in every country. Majority rule.

by Anonymousreply 4710/05/2013

Compression problems much, R47? I said HUMAN RIGHTS, not UK rights.

A child in Chile, Africa or the North Pole have the same human rights. Whether they have access to them is another story.

Let that sink in, please.

by Anonymousreply 4810/05/2013

Jews are approximately 2.2% of the US population, and because they are so miniscule, they wield no political power. Politicians always ignore their views and demands, and they have no power in the media, communications, business, or culture. Because they are only 2.2%.

by Anonymousreply 4910/05/2013

Oh, God, I feel SO Alone!

by Anonymousreply 5010/05/2013

And if you have a type you're screwed. It seems that the people who are always in relationships are the gays who don't have a specific type.

by Anonymousreply 5110/05/2013

R51, I think you're right. I have a friend who is fat and looks like a bloated frog yet he is always hooking up. Yes, he's a slut, but I would think people would be repulsed by his looks. Yet, some of the guys he hooks up with are quite good looking.

by Anonymousreply 5210/05/2013

Don't believe it R51. Get out there, there are people for you.

by Anonymousreply 5310/05/2013

It's our lesbian sistren who usually have more trouble finding compatible mates, but that doesn't stop them from trying, does it?

by Anonymousreply 5410/05/2013

there are many more closeted dudes than open dudes

by Anonymousreply 5510/06/2013

I went to an all boys school and if this is true my class in sixth form had 6 times the national average of gays. And that's just the ones I'm aware of.

by Anonymousreply 5610/06/2013

don't believe the statistics - unless you were personally involved in the survey, you have no way of knowing these stats are true. That said - when the government doesn't take the lifestyle seriously and acknowledge gay relationships, it's hard for gays to take their own relationships seriously.

by Anonymousreply 5710/06/2013

R54, not true

by Anonymousreply 5810/06/2013

We like to think we’re a progressive society that is accepting of all sexual orientations, but the latest survey shows anti-gay sentiment is higher than we think, and current methods for assessing attitudes about sexuality are not as accurate as they should be.

In a study published in the National Bureau of Economic Research, scientists found that current methods may not accurately capture both the size of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) population as well as attitudes toward them.

Overall, it’s hard to measure sexual orientation and opinions about sexual orientation because of persistent biases toward more socially acceptable responses. Researchers have found this trend even in computer-generated surveys where responses are anonymous.

(MORE: New Insight into the (Epi)Genetic Roots of Homosexuality)

So a team from Ohio State University and Boston University compared these survey techniques to another strategy that provided even more privacy and anonymity to participants, by guaranteeing that even the researchers could not connect the volunteers to their answers. Among the 2,516 U.S. volunteers who were randomly assigned to answer questions about their sexuality using one or the other survey method, those taking the more veiled survey were 65% more likely to report a non-heterosexual identity themselves and 59% more likely to report having a same-sex sexual experience than those using the standard survey technique.

The veiled method also revealed more people with anti-gay sentiment than among those taking the other type of survey. The participants were 67% more likely to disapprove of an openly gay manager at work and 71% more likely to admit that it was acceptable to discriminate against people who are lesbians, gay or bisexual.

“Comparing the two methods shows sexuality-related questions receive biased responses even under current best practices, and, for many questions, the bias is substantial,” the authors write.

Did the enhanced anonymity lead to more truthful responses? The researchers aren’t sure, but previous studies revealed that when responses are blinded, people do tend to express attitudes and opinions that are more raw and closer to their true beliefs. The scientists also can’t explain why those who were questioned under the more veiled technique were more likely to admit to both non-heterosexual orientation or experiences as well as more bias against them. While they suspect the two trends are independent of each other, it’s possible that the results also reveal something deeper about sexuality and social acceptance — or lack thereof — of LGBT identities.

Read more:

by Anonymousreply 5910/08/2013

It might be because of....


by Anonymousreply 6010/08/2013

R60, exactly!

by Anonymousreply 6110/08/2013

[quote]These polls are a) old; or b) faked; and come with a conservative political agenda attached. No real poll has ever found gay numbers so low. Not any poll. Not in any country. Not anywhere

Totally agree. It's bullshit and it's political. And the further publicizing of the bullshit is political. Same with how they always, always say the numbers are lower at demonstrations (any progressive demonstration/march).

by Anonymousreply 6210/08/2013

Every time I see this thread I have a moral dilemma: do I encourage the stupid hottie I have a crush on to believe it so he will settle for me; or do I stand up strong and proud because it's an obvious fake.

by Anonymousreply 6310/10/2013


by Anonymousreply 6410/13/2013


by Anonymousreply 6511/22/2013

In 2013, the National Health Interview Survey asked respondents their sexual orientation for the first time, creating an important new opportunity for understanding the health of well-being of people who identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual (LGB) across the country.

The number of people who self-identified as LGB for the survey was notably lower than other studies have found. Only 1.6 percent identified as gay or lesbian and another 0.7 percent identified as bisexual. Because this reflects how a person self-identifies and not necessarily their behavior and relationships, it may not be an accurate portrayal of how many LGB people there actually are. Moreover, this was the first time the survey invited respondents to identify their sexual orientation, and some may not have felt comfortable doing so honestly for a questionnaire that asked other personal questions about their health and lifestyle.

by Anonymousreply 6607/15/2014

few people come out and identify as gay. most are closeted, celibate, or in denial.

by Anonymousreply 6707/19/2014

In my high school yearbook I counted five gay guys of 115 males - me, two fellows who died of AIDS, one unmarried pastor and another of whom I've lost track. Three lesbians and one bisexual women of the 92 females. These are the ones that I know for sure as I didn't know everyone in my grad class, thus the percentages could be higher.

by Anonymousreply 6807/19/2014

Personal anecdotes are not science.

by Anonymousreply 6907/24/2014


by Anonymousreply 7008/02/2014


by Anonymousreply 7111/30/2014

Older men are more likely to have had sexual contact with another man than those in their teenage years or twenties, according to a new study.

The Lancet survey looked at how many men self-identified as straight, gay, bisexual or other.

While 97.3% of respondents said they were straight, 1.5% said they were gay and 1% said they were bisexual.

Interestingly, when asked about sexual practices with male partners, more of the 55-64 years age group said they had either had “any sexual experience or contact with another man”, or “any sexual experience with genital contact with another man”, compared to younger age groups. Advertisement

7.3% of aged 55-64 said they had partaken in “genital contact” with another man, compared to just 4% of those aged 16-24 years. The percentage steadily increases with age, except for the 65-74 age group, which scored the lowest with 3.4%.

The figures for women showed an inverse pattern, as younger female respondents were more likely to have had “genital contact” than older.

The survey also showed that around 60% of respondents think either male or female same-sex couples are “not wrong at all”. Unsurprisingly older respondents were more likely to say they were opposed to same-sex relationships.

by Anonymousreply 7212/05/2014

Everyone is straight except for some that are trans (hey at least they want to be straight, we get that and respect that).

There are gay jokes in movies now, that's enough. There are only twelve gay people in the world anyway.

by Anonymousreply 7312/05/2014

I said it before and I'll say it again

If you are alone, just go Asian. You will never be alone again.

No matter what age you are, or how homely you look. As long as you are white, there are NO shortage of Asians guys willing to be your bf or companion.

And I say this as an Gay Asian.

But white guys would rather be alone, than be with an Asian guy.

Go figure

by Anonymousreply 7412/05/2014

what dude?

by Anonymousreply 7512/05/2014

Why am I gay and alone?

Because I don't think I'm either.

by Anonymousreply 7612/05/2014

Because I'm fucking ugly

by Anonymousreply 7712/05/2014


by Anonymousreply 7801/05/2015

That's really pathetic r74. The word 'pathetic' by the way, comes from a Latin word used by the Romans to describe a grown man who engaged in sexual intercourse with another man.

by Anonymousreply 7901/05/2015

Since these surveys have long been discredited, what is the purpose in bumping an ancient thread with a fake number that shows gay people as much more numerically prevalent than we really are?

by Anonymousreply 8001/05/2015

quote:If you are alone, just go Asian. You will never be alone again.

One little hitch ... I don't find most Asians attractive.

by Anonymousreply 8101/05/2015
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