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Can I still find love at 60?

I will soon be 61, am disabled with arthritis (although I can get around quite well). I think I look pretty good for my age. Some grey, a few extra pounds, but I do have a lot of love to give to someone (I know this sounds corny, but what the hell).

by Anonymousreply 10511/09/2013

Still available at an hourly rate.

by Anonymousreply 110/02/2013

Love is all around, no need to waste it. You're gonna make it after all.

by Anonymousreply 210/02/2013

Seriously, not a problem. Depends, of course, on your expectations; if you're limiting yourself to a specific type, your odds diminish significantly.

by Anonymousreply 310/02/2013

huh huh, R3 said "Depends"

by Anonymousreply 410/02/2013

Of course. I have many friends your age in similar situations who have recently found love.

Of course, it depends on what you are looking for.

by Anonymousreply 510/02/2013

Of course OP. Love is always available to open hearts.

by Anonymousreply 610/02/2013

It depends on your Depends. If they leak, forge it. If you're rich, nobody will mind the stink. Just ask any of Larry King's ex wives.

by Anonymousreply 710/02/2013

[Courtney] Love, yes.

by Anonymousreply 810/02/2013

In all honesty, probably not OP, unless you have money. It would be more like buying companionship than finding love but at least you would get laid without paying for it one night at a time.

Cultivate friends and hobbies. Get a dog. Ignore the repulsive fraus with their kumbayah crap. Love is not "always available to those with open hearts" for fuck's sake. R6 should be beaten to a pulp and fed to feral dogs.

by Anonymousreply 910/02/2013

OP, you can find love at any age provided you are looking for men your own age and at your own level of attractiveness.

Most men that complain about being single are single because they are chasing people far younger or more attractive(gay or straight).

by Anonymousreply 1010/02/2013

I turn 49 in four months. I've given up. I can't imagine finding love at this point, let alone at 60.

by Anonymousreply 1110/02/2013

R4 -- you made me bust out laughing -- thanks. Best laugh so far today.

by Anonymousreply 1210/02/2013

Fuck love! I am 60 and lost my partner of 35 years to a blood clot five years ago. I tried the dating world, it sucked. I am happy and content with my friends, hobbies and my career. I am in shape, active, and pretty okay looking for my age, but I say fuck it all and fucking no regrets. I am far happier single.

by Anonymousreply 1310/02/2013

Boo, this is not really where you wanna be asking that question. Craigslist is that way. -------->

by Anonymousreply 1410/02/2013

Sure, but it'll cost you.

by Anonymousreply 1610/02/2013

r13 What about sex?? Do you still get regular sex.

by Anonymousreply 1710/02/2013

Of course you can, OP. You can find love at any age as long as you're open to it.

The thing about life is you never know what's going to happen or when. Granted, relationships happen more easily when you're young, but so does everything else.

Put some effort into meeting people and put yourself out there. You don't have to go on Grindr or anything like that (unless you just want to get laid). But join clubs and events and surround yourself with like-minded men.

Some of the other posters are right that you also have to be realistic about your prospects. If you will only settle for a 27 year old Adonis then you're probably in for a life of singlehood. But if you're open to men of a similar age and lifestyle, you'll have a better chance of meeting someone special.

by Anonymousreply 1810/02/2013

You sound adorable, OP.

by Anonymousreply 1910/02/2013

You know good and goddamned well it's not happening, so why ask? If people half your age are considered ancient, how do you think you're viewed?

Save yourself the humiliation and stop now!

by Anonymousreply 2010/02/2013

There is a saying about finding something once you stop looking for it.

by Anonymousreply 2110/02/2013

R18 = frau cunt

This is a website for gay men, not you.

by Anonymousreply 2210/02/2013

I am a gay man, sugar tits. Just not a bitter, twisted one like you.

I'm sorry life used you up and spit you out and made you this mess we see before us, R22. But some of us are happy and normal.

And more importantly, I want the OP to find love. I think it' s nice.

by Anonymousreply 2310/02/2013

My 85-year-old neighbor has a "ladyfriend." I see a lot of that but then women are probably more interested in older men than men are.

by Anonymousreply 2410/02/2013

Yes, you can find love at 60 or 70 or 80. All the serious advice you got here is good. There used to be a site called Silver Daddies - I don't know if it is still running or not - where you could meet lots of older guys - and those who are into them.

by Anonymousreply 2510/02/2013

no

gross old troll

i bet you are trolling 20 year olds

gross trash

die in a grease fire

by Anonymousreply 2610/02/2013

sorry to burst your balloon, but no (esp if you live in NYC) ive given up

by Anonymousreply 2710/02/2013

and Im younger than you and in great shape

by Anonymousreply 2810/02/2013

That saying sounds interesting, R21. What is it?

by Anonymousreply 2910/02/2013

When people are younger, they think everyone is a possible mate. Some kind of evolutionary delusion.

By 50 you should have a pretty good idea of where you rate on the attractiveness/personality scale, and seek a partner more in your league.

I find many guys in their 50's, 60's and 70's attractive, so I guess there's still hope.

by Anonymousreply 3010/02/2013

Love is out there. It can find you at any age but love like real estate, it's all about placement. Put yourself in the proper place to find it. You're no longer looking for a hookup but a companion with similar interests as yourself. Place yourself there. If a 85 yr old lady can graduate from college, I'm pretty damn sure a 60 yr old man can find love. Can't be that hard, now can it?

by Anonymousreply 3210/02/2013

There is a lot of mean, hateful bullying in the DL, just ignore it OP.

by Anonymousreply 3310/02/2013

True love can be found at the "Silver Daddies" site.

by Anonymousreply 3410/02/2013

Of course.

Don't let anyone tell you "no".

by Anonymousreply 3510/02/2013

If that big Mr. Dorothy Zbornak can find love in his dotage and leave his friends and his aged mother to run a hotel, then so can you, OP! You just have to believe!

by Anonymousreply 3610/02/2013

[quote]There is a saying about finding something once you stop looking for it.

Sorry, but that is complete bullshit at least for gays/lesbians unless you're constantly doing things that would bring you into contact with other gays/lesbians.

It's a numbers game, in the end.

by Anonymousreply 3810/02/2013

Yes

by Anonymousreply 3910/02/2013

OP.. There is someone for everyone. There is a lot of great advice here. Staying involved and being out there in life keeps you out in the limelight. Going to a gay affirming church and attending their functions would be and idea. Also volunteering for your local gay community outreach. Just be yourself. Be happy with yourself first and others will be attracted to you.

Also, ignore the negativity here from the ageist bashers. One day they will be 60 too and they will be the ones who will suffer the most when they get older because their entire identity is based on their being younger. That goes away and reality will smack them right between the eyes and they will crumble like a little girls.

There is also a good book that might help you get a perspective on gay male maturity.

"Golden Men, The Power of Gay Midlife" by Harold Kooden, PhD and Charles Flowers.

All the best to you OP!

by Anonymousreply 4010/02/2013

At 60? Sure. But I'm feeling charitable today and will only charge you $50. Think of it as a senior discount.

by Anonymousreply 4110/02/2013

I'm 61 and I just met a great 48 year old, we've been seeing each other for a few months now and love is definitely possible. Never thought this would happen, but it did. So OP, you just never know.

by Anonymousreply 4210/02/2013

Yes, if you're rich.

by Anonymousreply 4310/02/2013

[quote]I am a gay man, sugar tits.

You're not a gay man, Mel.

by Anonymousreply 4410/02/2013

[quote]There is someone for everyone.

Not true at all.

by Anonymousreply 4510/02/2013

r45 Apparently you have been burned by everyone. You must have given up by now. You make things happen in life.. not make life happen to you.

by Anonymousreply 4610/02/2013

I agree that there is NOT someone for everyone.

In other words, on the small cross sample of people you meet in life, there is not necessarily a person for you.

Any person is meeting only a tiny sample of people in the world or in your country or in your state or city, so it is very easy NOT to meet someone for you in such a small cross sample.

by Anonymousreply 4710/02/2013

I agree that if you're willing to date within your age group it'll definitely increase your chances.

by Anonymousreply 4810/02/2013

R48, so many people in my age group died, I don't know anyone in my age group. And the one friend I have left who's near my age, well, we're not into each other that way.

by Anonymousreply 4910/02/2013

I met my partner when he was 58 and I was 38. Yes, he was older than the partner I might envisioned (my previous partner died 8 years earlier, not of the plague, but a heart attack) and I'm sure my body build was not what he dreamed about (I was heavy--still am, but 90 lbs lighter than I was then). He is brilliant and charming, I tend to be emotional, warm, and quirky. We've been together 18 years this month--he's 75, I'll be 56 this month. I wouldn't trade him for anyone else in the world.

by Anonymousreply 5010/02/2013

Can a 70 still "get it up", just asking

by Anonymousreply 5110/02/2013

In the gay world, love is not possible after 40.

Sex is even difficult to come by after 40.

Paying does not count!

by Anonymousreply 5210/02/2013

Wrong place to ask that question, OP; this has become a bigoted site full of haters; and just announcing your age had the assholes and idiots salivating to get their moronic digs in.

Yes, it is easier for older straight men. Women usually outlive their husbands and are far more open to relationships with men who are their age and older. Also women often are more comfortable than men in combining companionship with sex; and the men attracted to them go along (and some share that feeling).

Gay life is tougher and no one can say about your prospects. I have some older friends who are not rich but have found loving, sexual relationships though usually with men older than they are and frequently with those who are interested to the same degree in the same things. (I know a 60 year old who fell in love, reciprocated, with a 73 year old -- but they both adored antiquing and traveling and learning languages!!! They're both decent looking, but look their ages and one has a bit of a weight problem. Their lives would kill the idiots above but they have a very good time, and I've been told by the 60 year old that they have "hot" -- his word -- sex.)

But gay life as you can read above is not elder friendly, not every older gay person is looking for someone his age, even if he says he's looking for love, and I do know older men who have very close friendships but are not physically intimate. So you'll have to look around and see...

by Anonymousreply 5310/02/2013

I remember being surprised when it was pointed out to me that millions and millions of people never meet someone, fall in love, have a lasting relationship, etc.

It hadn't occurred to me that this was the reality of some people's lives but it is, Blanche, it is. I hope they have friends and a profession they enjoy.

At 60 (or at any age) the OP may or may not find someone to love who loves him in return. Unless OP is a lesbian, in that case she will find someone within minutes of stepping foot on The Land but it will only last for six weeks.

by Anonymousreply 5410/02/2013

r53 Perfect post.

by Anonymousreply 5510/02/2013

Try going on a dating site for older gays. Or at least put your real info on any gay dating site if you don't find one for older people. There has to be a lot of widowers out there looking to.

by Anonymousreply 5610/02/2013

r47 I disagree. You might not find a soul mate/love of your life, but you can find a partner that fulfills you sexually and romantically.

by Anonymousreply 5710/02/2013

Yes. That is why there are sites devoted to silver daddies and the men who love them. And, NO, we are NOT all gold-diggers.

by Anonymousreply 5810/02/2013

You silly queens and fraus must read a lot of romance novels.

You realize you're not doing the OP any favors by blowing sunshine up his ass. Turn off the Lifetime Movie channel and see the world as it is.

by Anonymousreply 5910/02/2013

r58. Well of course you're not. Not at your age.

by Anonymousreply 6010/02/2013

The problem is that even if the OP is willing to date within his age range, the guys his age all want younger.

I'm 54 and gave up on dating.

by Anonymousreply 6110/02/2013

OP, my partner is 61 and hot as hell. I'm younger. He did not buy me. At risk of bringing on the 20yo pessimism, I'll mention he injured his hip a couple years ago, passed a gallstone a couple weeks ago, has longtime shoulder pain and two hernias (one repaired, one untreated). No one's perfect. The more we can accept, the more people / options are available to us.

I admit when we met, we both gave some on our ideal mate. The idea was: be picky and alone, OR take a chance on something that doesn't look perfect on the surface. This was a good plan. We've never been happier before, but wouldn't have accepted each other earlier in life when we were still uptight about details.

I echo what others have said about being rather flexible with age, looks, and imperfections, since that's something you see many gays not being able to shift as they age.

And whether or not you can have it boils down to two things:

1/ how much you want it, and therefore how creative and persistent in finding love.

and

2/ positive attitude. If you are sure you deserve love, sure you want love, and sure you will find love, then it'll happen at some point. You don't have to be perfect. Defeatism will serve no purpose other than keeping you alone.

by Anonymousreply 6210/02/2013

Show us a picture of your cock and then we'll be able to tell better. Seriously.

by Anonymousreply 6310/02/2013

Turning 60 in February and think the following:

I really DO think it comes down to attitude and receptivity... and probably not being too picky about looks. I'm always surprised at some of the people I see paired up -- at any age.

I also think it's really important to not sweat it too much and to put some of your energy elsewhere: interests, hobbies, doing stuff for other people. Travel, if you can afford it.

I do not count on finding anyone even remotely comparable to the partner I lost to lung cancer five years ago. We were together almost 30 years. It's unfair to even expect that.

At present, I have a wonderful friend-with-benefits arrangement that frees me from worrying too much about 'finding love'. We see each other just enough to really appreciate each other.

Good luck and DON'T give up.

by Anonymousreply 6410/02/2013

OP, if you are very, very rich and very, very old, and very, very sick------CALL ME!

by Anonymousreply 6510/02/2013

A friend of mine met a really nice guy @ 59. But here's the deal, the guy is really a "couple" person. So many of us would like to have a relationship but we're too independent to really appreciate the the good stuff because we're always calculating what we're having to give up such as moment to moment freedom. I think we send out that "come here, go away" message and an older person doesn't want to give up the time or energy on that and might not seriously consider getting involved. For myself I think relationships like that require more of me than I have the capacity to appreciate, I value my freedom more. For "couple" people the loss in freedom isn't much when they look at what they're getting, because they have the capacity to appreciate it all. Probably like the parents who say "yeah it sucks sometimes but it's so worth it". That's totally foreign to me too. Good luck, my friend hangs out with a bunch of guys his age and three couples have found each other.

by Anonymousreply 6610/02/2013

The most loving couple I know are two men in their late 70s now who met in their early -mid 60s. Both found love and companionship as they neared retirement. (And, from overhearing an intimate conversation between them I know they still have obviously satisfying sex)

Good luck OP. It can happen!

by Anonymousreply 6710/02/2013

OP, the ambiguity in your description of being disabled yet getting around quite well suggests a stance that would be offputting to a potential trick/friend/boyfriend/sex buddy/lover/partner/husband/soul mate. Watch that. Middle age means downplaying your health concerns and not offering them up as a conversation topic, unless you find the need to explain in advance that you have three testicles or that the hole in your penis is in a funny place.

Of course there is love at 60. My first boyfriend would now be 97, if he had lived. I was 16 when we met. (No kidding.) I'm now 59 and have guys 21, 45, 67 and 73 wanting to go out with me. My 66-year-old partner has a 49-year-old friend, and we both get together with a 40-year old. (We've have an open relationship and it has worked out very well.)

What is it that you really want, though? Surely you know that wandering around with the notion "I have a lot of love to give" in your mind could scare people away. Keep things simple, direct and fun. Don't be a creep. Be natural and clear about yourself and your interests. Don't cling. Don't make calf-eyes. Don't aim at the unattainable, because they're all superficial jerks anyway. Practice healthy detachment. Mix and mingle. Go out with friends and don't be afraid to be a third or fifth wheel - one meets people through people.

And of course you'll meet and find all kinds of interesting people. Maybe one of them will turn out to be exactly what you need, which is quite different from what you think you want.

by Anonymousreply 6810/02/2013

[R52] reminds me of a former friend who was found dead after a heart attack at 59 in his apartment after several days at 59. He claimed to have "given up" after turning 40 and proceeded to live as a self employed semi hermit spouting the most negative views about gay life. Just like many here do.

OP, after 60 it is possible to find love in some form with someone. You just have to get lucky.

For me it happened at 47.

by Anonymousreply 6910/02/2013

OP visit Palm Springs as much as possible or better yet, buy a home there. The area is absolutely ruled by mature gays - and I've seen plenty of magic happen.

by Anonymousreply 7010/02/2013

This is very true R70.. And many of them are smoking hot too! Puts some of the youngsters to shame.

by Anonymousreply 7110/02/2013

FOR GOD'S SAKE HIRE A MALE ESCORT!!!

by Anonymousreply 7210/02/2013

Franky, OP, it is going to be very, very expensive.

by Anonymousreply 7310/03/2013

HAHAHAHAHA

Oh, you were serious? Hell no, bitch!

Maybe someone desperate as you are to not die alone that you'll end up settling for, that's about it.

Enjoy his rotten smelling farts while the two of you watch Wheel of Fortune.

by Anonymousreply 7410/03/2013

OP, ignore the negative comments. Yes, you most certainly can find love at your age. Take care of your self, your body, your appearance, attitudes, interests, the same as when you were younger.

I was always attracted to older men because they offered what no hot young man could ever, ever possibly provide: maturity and experience in all phases of life as well as truly hot sex. True, you can't be young again. However, young studs are not able to be hot older GENTLEMEN. I'd rather have the hot older gentleman.

by Anonymousreply 7510/06/2013

OP

Looking for a father figure??

:-))

by Anonymousreply 7610/06/2013

Yes! Tell them you're a top!

by Anonymousreply 7710/06/2013

Just remember to check with your doctor before beginning any exercise regime or joining a gym/health club.

by Anonymousreply 7810/06/2013

Youth is wasted on the young. Just remember that.

by Anonymousreply 7910/06/2013

Cher, is that you?

by Anonymousreply 8010/06/2013

I will even venture to add that you are MORE likely to find love (LOVE) at your age than most younger men. Gay men in their twenties and thirties (and even beyond..some NEVER mature) don't know who they are, what they are about. They have drama and never have any damned money. They are raging hormones and find lust but not love. They don't know how to make love. They find boyfriends but not love. They find material trappings but not love. They find drugs but not love. There is no substitute for maturity, life experience (and, yes, that means years on the planet which cannot be substituted), character (which comes through adversity and suffering and survival), wisdom and self-knowledge, NONE of which are possessed by young men. They all think they will live forever and have the arrogance of youth. We all were somewhat "that" kind of guy once upon a time. These are the best of times. Don't waste a minute.

IGNORE the ageist gay culture crap. It's all shit. It's all a lie. A tale told by an idiot. You can certainly find love. And it can find YOU, too, honey.

by Anonymousreply 8110/06/2013

A major ditto for what r81 just said. That is absolutely spot on.

OP, where are you?

by Anonymousreply 8210/07/2013

There is just as much ageism in the hetero world as there is in the gay world.

Gays are not unique to ageism.

by Anonymousreply 8310/08/2013

Of course you can find love. You might also find Big Foot and Jimmy Hoffa's body. But seriously, it is a possibility. Just be open and be spontaneous. and don't set your sights on Keanu. (He's mine)

by Anonymousreply 8411/08/2013

In my experience, being able to find love is more dependent upon your personality than your age.

There are plenty of handsome young men who can't find love either, so youth/beauty is not a panacea.

by Anonymousreply 8511/08/2013

Want to get really depressed? All you 40/50 pluses should play the numbers game.

I'm in my late 40s, usually date my age or older.

Calculate the number of age-appropriate, openly gay men. (I wouldn't date anyone else.)

(This, BTW, is precisely the generation of gays destroyed by 30 years of the AIDS epidemic. So you're left with those of us who survived. It's even worse for those a decade older.)

Find the number of those eligible men left (not insane, not incapacitated) who are actively looking.

Find those in your area.

Find the physical specimens you might possibly, maybe, ever be attracted to.

Find a way to get in touch with those men.

Now the fun begins. Cause a lot of those men are single for good reasons.

Now you can start a process that most American heterosexuals started back in junior high and continued til they married: DATING. A lot of 40+ gay men didn't date until post college or later.

Best of luck, OP. But I feel overwhelmed by those odds.

by Anonymousreply 8611/08/2013

[all posts by tedious troll removed.]

by Anonymousreply 8711/08/2013

Our family was friends for years with a dear, straight couple. The husband passed away in his late 60s of lung cancer, leaving behind a lovely - physically and personally - woman. She met the most handsome, kind and generous man when they were both in their early 70s. They had 15+ years together, leading active, full lives. Gives me hope at 56.

by Anonymousreply 8811/08/2013

Of course you can, OP. I'm 64 and I found love. My partner actually thought I was 38 when we first met. Keep you're heart open and be optimistic and love will come knocking.

by Anonymousreply 8911/08/2013

[quote] I'm 64 and I found love. My partner actually thought I was 38

You're men.

by Anonymousreply 9011/08/2013

Of course you can. 60 is the new 40. Go for it.

by Anonymousreply 9111/08/2013

why would you seek the advice of such nasty mean trolls like you'll find on this website?

by Anonymousreply 9211/08/2013

What R93 said. Of COURSE you can, OP. The best is yet to come..if you WANT it to be!

by Anonymousreply 9311/08/2013

Here's what I learned: 1) Love yourself, first and foremost.

2) Love your neighbor, as yourself.

3) Love The Almighty Creator, above all.

One cannot love another if he doesn't love himself. (How can you give away what you don't have?) (see #2)

I guarantee that #3 is very hard to do. One's ego, superego, and everything else can get in the way. The challenge is for the runner to reach the goal of Love!

by Anonymousreply 9411/08/2013

[quote]Here's what I learned: 1) Love yourself, first and foremost.

2) Love your neighbor, as yourself.

3) Love The Almighty Creator, above all.

One cannot love another if he doesn't love himself. (How can you give away what you don't have?) (see #2)

I guarantee that #3 is very hard to do. One's ego, superego, and everything else can get in the way. The challenge is for the runner to reach the goal of Love!

Oh, puhleeze. This aint "Guideposts" magazine, sweetie; it's the DL.

by Anonymousreply 9511/08/2013

Of course you can. I did pretty much what R87 suggests with a totally different result. Several years ago, when I was in my early sixties, and having been contentedly single most of my life, I decided to try an online dating service for older guys. I posted a few flattering face pics, wrote a short profile, and was amazed at the result. Just checked. I've had nearly 130,000 hits.

I met many great guys over the first few years, but for something more lasting decided to focus closer to home. So I narrowed my preferred age range (30 - 60), and set up a ten mile radius. Had some interesting hookups, several of whom became good friends, and then I went out to dinner with a 32 year old who simply likes older guys. We have been together for over eight years now, have great sex, and I've never been happier.

BTW, he also makes about the same amount of money as I do; no gold-digging involved.

by Anonymousreply 9611/08/2013

And just what online dating service was that, R97? Fantasyland.com?

by Anonymousreply 9711/08/2013

Not at all. Silverdaddies. Very real and very useful. There are others as well. Check it out. You might see that not all people are as dumb and narrowmindes as you.

by Anonymousreply 9811/08/2013

narrowminded

by Anonymousreply 9911/08/2013

OMG Silverdaddies is a well known rip-off. They take money from older guys by hustling them into the site with photos of young naked guys -- and then charge the daddies for the privilege of not ever meeting a soul.

by Anonymousreply 10011/08/2013

I don't know where you get your information, R101, but in the ten or so years that I have lurked on SilverDaddies, I have chatted with many guys, met many others in person, hooked up with more than a few, and am currently in a relationship with one. During that time, I have never, not once, met someone who was something other than what he described.

I'm not naieve enough to realize that there are scams and frauds out there, but it seems to me that anyone old enough to be a "SilverDaddy" has been around the block at least once. The closest I came to someone being less than direct was a person who wanted to rent a room in his guesthouse. I reported him, and he was gone.

Bottom line here is that anything worth doing involves an element of risk. First few meetings are always in a public place, all communications are through the website. In my reckless youth when I'd go home with someone I'd met in a bar or club, there were more than a few unfortunate evenings. Through SD, not a one.

by Anonymousreply 10111/08/2013

60 degrees, yes. 60 years old, no.

by Anonymousreply 10211/08/2013

This thread is useless without Ben-Gay.

by Anonymousreply 10311/08/2013

[quote]I'm 64 and I found love. My partner actually thought I was 38

How on earth?

by Anonymousreply 10411/09/2013
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